Creating Your Own Yes with JJ DiGeronimo

It is good to have perspective so when things do not unfold as planned you have some reserve energy!

Can you think of the last time you were told no or can you think of a project or initiative where every door was closed? It’s not easy, as many of us are told NO, so often, whether it's at home in our communities, or even at work. 

No, seems to be such a popular thing, and it comes in so many ways, and oftentimes it can really deplete us and kick off our stories that say, I'm not ready. Who am I? What was I thinking? These self-reflecting questions can really slow us down or even cause us to create a detour or a workaround. 

I am looking forward to sharing some of the strategies I used to create my own Yes! 

 To download 3 chapters, visit jjdigeronimo.com

Thank you for joining me ~ here are some other resources for you!

JJ's new book Seeking: https://www.amazon.com/Seeking-Findings-Energy-Sidestep-Self-Doubts/dp/B0BKQCWJ62

Join me live in my energy community: https://www.togetherweseek.online/

Visit my website for retreats and free resources: https://jjdigeronimo.com/

My energy podcast Together We Seek: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1923001

Transcript

JJ DiGeronimo (00:00):

It's JJ DiGeronimo and we are in season three of Career Strategies for Women That Work. I select every episode with you in mind, a woman searching and striving for more influence and impact with research and insight. I've invited some really exciting guests to season three. Many of them have books that you can follow up with and even discuss in your women's groups. And like many of them, I'm launching my next book, seeking 74 key findings to raise your energy, sidestep yourself, doubts, and align with your life's work. With so much to discuss, let's jump in.

JJ DiGeronimo (00:48):

Hello. Hello. I am so honored to join you right here, right now. We're almost wrapping up the year, and I'm sure you're thinking, oh, I have so much to do. But really take a moment to reflect on what you've already accomplished this year. For many of us, we're so focused on moving forward that we often don't think about what we've already done. And having this time together for me is such a treat. I can't wait to share with you some of the things that I've done this year to create my own. Yes, this is not easy, as many of us are told no so often, whether it's at home in our communities or even at work. No, seems to be such a popular thing, and it comes in so many ways, and oftentimes it can really deplete us. It can kick off our stories that say, I'm not ready.

JJ DiGeronimo (01:37):

Who am I? What was I thinking? And oftentimes it can really slow us down or even cause us to create a detour or a workaround. In today's episode, I wanna share the inside story behind writing the book Seeking. As many of you know, it came out last week, which I'm incredibly proud of, but I have to share with you that it was not easy, and I got so many nos, so many nos that it's even hard to believe now that it's finished. Back in 2018, I attended a writer's workshop in Houston, and I was so excited to pitch this particular book to Hay House. I worked at it and worked at it. I hired a coach. I, I hired a book proposal expert. I spent months working on the book proposal. It wasn't easy because a book proposal is not writing the book. It's actually writing about what you're gonna write in the book, which for me is very difficult because I feel like a lot of what I write about comes through me.

JJ DiGeronimo (02:39):

It's sort of like I sit down when I'm write ready to write, and it's just a flood of information. So to write a book proposal was challenging, but I wanna share some of the other strategies I used to create your own. Yes. Because I think for many of us, we have our vision of how we want it to happen. We actually sometimes even mark down the dates where things are gonna happen, only to find out that it doesn't happen that way, or we get a bunch of no's or things happen in our personal life or professional life. And that passion project or something you're working with on your desk as your main gig, or off the side of your desk, doesn't really unfold the way you expect. But what I wanna talk about today is how do you create your own? Yes. How do you create your own?

JJ DiGeronimo (03:26):

Yes, because I had envisioned that I was gonna pitch the book. They were gonna pick it up, and we were gonna start writing, and I was gonna write work with the best people, and we were gonna get this book done in 2021. And I love that because in my mind, every book happened at a five year increment. So in my first book in 2011, my second in 16, and my third in 2021, well scratch that. None of that happened. And not only did I get a no from Hay House, I got a no from six other publishers. And it's crazy because I do so much work with women, but their metrics and numbers that they want on social media are so crazy. They want you to have a hundred thousand followers, or they want you to have, you know, thousands and thousands of books sold.

JJ DiGeronimo (04:18):

You know, tens of thousands of books sold on previous books. Well, you know, between you and me, I didn't even market my first book because I did not want my company at the time to think I wasn't taking my job seriously. So I literally published my first book and did so little marketing because I didn't want my boss or my boss's boss to think that I wasn't taking my role seriously, or that I was sidetracked. So my first book doesn't have nearly the number of sales as my second. And all of this really kind of folds into their decision on whether or not I'm gonna be able to sell enough books. Well, let me assure you that women don't work this way. You know, there are men and women working in these places, but I have to say that, you know, we peak at all different times.

JJ DiGeronimo (05:03):

And just because there's a standard or there's a situation or there's metrics or that's the way they've always done it, doesn't mean that's the way you have to do it, or I have to do it. And I am so excited to sit here with you right now saying that yes, even with all of those no's, I still created my own. Yes. And yes, it took me some time, but I was aligned with some of the best people, and I found them on really great sites that you can get access to too. So if you have a project, an idea, a vision, and someone's told you no at some point, or maybe they've told you no multiple times, you can still create your own. Yes. After I received the no's, I sat on the project for over a year to really think about, am I ready?

JJ DiGeronimo (05:54):

Can I do this? Do I wanna do this? Is this right for me now? And at the time, I really wasn't getting any really strong yeses. And then one day after my kids went back to school about two years ago, I sat down and I said, all right, I am gonna do this. I am gonna write this book and I'm gonna get it done. So I went onto a really awesome website called Upwork. And Upwork is where I've actually hired many of the women that helped me put this book together. And spoiler alert, the book is better now than it would've been if any of those publishers would've said yes. Because I still had more evolution, I had more experiences, I had more things that I had to do so that I was ready to create the book that you will find now on Amazon.

JJ DiGeronimo (06:50):

The book seeking has been a journey for me, not only in all of the different practices, modalities, ancient wisdom that I encountered that really helped me align with my life's work, but it really was an opportunity for me to test whether or not I was ready to step into that project if I was ready to put myself out in such a vulnerable way with lessons and stories that have already helped so many women. I've gotten so many amazing texts from women saying, I can't put the book down, or I'm going slowly, or, this is the book I need. I'm ready for that shift. And for me, I really think that if any one of those publishers would've said yes, I would've been writing the book for them. That's right. I would've been writing the book to impress them and not for what I needed to share and what needed to be birthed in the world.

JJ DiGeronimo (07:53):

So sometimes when you get a no, or sometimes when you get a lot of nos, it's not necessarily a no about your idea or about your project. It might be a no from the universe saying, not now. This is not the time. Or it might be a test to see if you really, really want it. So my advice is to really write down what is your vision? What are you trying to accomplish? Sure, you can write down how you wanted to unfold. Like I would've liked to have a publisher pick it up at the time. But now I know in hindsight that the universe was doing me a favor and saying, you know what? You need to get clear on this and we need to put you with certain people. And so on Upwork, one of my first job posting on Upwork, which is a great way to find contractors by the hour, was to find the editor.

JJ DiGeronimo (08:47):

Find the editor that can really help me with each of my chapters. As some of you may know, I'm dyslexic, so I love telling the story, but my grammar's not so good. And so I often need an editor to work with that can really make sure that my sentences are tight and that my paragraphs flow. Now, I put a couple jobs up on Upwork, and I did find different editors at different times. I took recommendations. I asked people who they knew that could potentially help me with the book. And each time I hired somebody, I would sit and do like a little meditation, make sure I was in the right energy. And after I spoke with them, I would sit in a meditation again to see if I had the right energy, if I felt like this was the right person, if I felt really good about it.

JJ DiGeronimo (09:33):

And it's funny, one way or another, the first three editors I hired over a series of time sort of made their way out for one reason or another, they had other responsibilities. That timing didn't work out. And I finally found a wonderful editor that I work with for almost the entire book. Her name was Heidi. And Heidi was an author herself, and she lived only a few hours for me, but I found her on Upward. And she was a fantastic, she kept asking me as I was writing the book, well, what does that mean? Or Why are you saying that? Or, can you add more detail? And she really had me dig farther and more into what I was trying to say. So for those of you that have an idea that wanna gets something off the ground, Upwork is an amazing place to find resources and contractors that can really help you manifest what you are working to create.

JJ DiGeronimo (10:25):

Now, I just wanna mention that I keep talking about the how, not worrying about the how. And one of my spiritual lessons has been so important is JJ just have a vision for where you wanna go. We will help you with the how. I think for us, and me and many women like me, we wanna have every single thing mapped out. And then when those little steps or big steps don't work out, we're like, oh, I don't know. Is this gonna work? How am I gonna make this happen? And I think for many of us, we have to continue to focus on the vision, focus on the feeling, focus on the outcome, and let the how unfold the way it is expected. Because had I been focused on the how this book was gonna get done, I'm not sure I would've ever written it because I think I would've been so deflated by all the no's that really would have impacted me on a emotional level that I'm not sure I would've been able to easily get around. But my spiritual work has helped me in so many ways, really realize that the universe is working with me, not against me. That things that are happening are happening for me and not to me. So as you think about this in your own life, what are the yeses you need to.