How to Feel Good About Feedback with Dr. Kelly Stewart

Ask yourself: 

• How do I receive feedback?
• How do I find space?

 Dr. Kelly Stewart holds a Doctorate of Education in Educational Leadership and Innovation with a specialization in Curriculum and Policy from Arizona State University.  

Why does feedback feel so bad? 

• We aren’t used to it; the educational system does not train us to revise the same work over and over, so we take feedback personal.

Things to remember:

• Feedback does not mean failure
• Feedback is a GIFT
• Approach feedback with curiosity 
• The point of feedback is to move you forward
• Your committee WANTS you to finish! (no one wants to DELAY you)
• Your committee’s job is to give you feedback
• The doctoral journey is a GROWTH process
• No one was born knowing how to write a dissertation
• An email sent in haste cannot be taken back
• Use affirmations: “My writing is improving with each revision.”
• You are playing “Dissertation Jenga”

Tips:

• Do not panic
• Breathe
• Name the emotion so you can process it and move through it 
• Talk about the situation in the 3rd person
• Know when to step away and get perspective (DO *NOT* SEND AN EMAIL TO ANYONE ON YOUR COMMITTEE UNTIL YOU HAVE PERSPECTIVE)
• Identify how you find SPACE
• Put a sticky note on your computer that says: “Dr. [insert your name], Remember that your committee loves you and wants you to finish. If you feel yourself stressing out you will: [ fill in the blank with how you find space]).
• Read ALL comments 
• Do the easy fixes, then mentally group the comments
• Ask for help from your Chair in terms of managing the feedback
• Ask for a Zoom/Skype/phone call – it can change everything
• Trust the process
• Learning how to receive feedback is a PRACTICE – you are GROWING

Committee members: Communicate with your students about the receiving of feedback.

“It always seems impossible until it is done” – Nelson Mandela 

“When we know better, we do better” – Maya Angelou

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Viktor E. Frankl

Additional resources
1. Ladder of Inference (Senege): https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newTMC_91.htm
2. Growth Mindset with Carol Dweck: https://youtu.be/hiiEeMN7vb
3. Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence https://www.ycei.org/ - Mood meter:

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