Episode 150: The Orchid and the Dandelion; The Science of Sensitive Kids
Feb 04, 2024Episode 150
Jessica Donovan
Join me for this conversational episode where I chat about the concept of orchid and dandelion children. I spoke about this over on our Instagram page in December 2023 and it resonated with a lot of parents, so I thought I would expand upon it today on the podcast.
The concept of orchid and dandelion children was created by pediatrician and Professor emeritus of paediatrics and psychiatry, W. Thomas Boyce. Dr Boyce shares that children have two very different responses to their environments. While some children are like dandelions and can thrive in almost any environment, there are others who, like orchids, are much more reactive and susceptible to their surroundings.
In this episode I will be sharing more about this concept, including:
Why some children are much more affected by their circumstances and their environment, compared to others;
I share the statistics of how many children are known as dandelion children, what this means, and what personality traits they have;
I share how many children identify as orchid children and their personality traits;
Join me for this conversational episode where I chat about the concept of orchid and dandelion children. I spoke about this over on our Instagram page in December 2023 and it resonated with a lot of parents, so I thought I would expand upon it today on the podcast.
The concept of orchid and dandelion children was created by pediatrician and Professor emeritus of paediatrics and psychiatry, W. Thomas Boyce. Dr Boyce shares that children have two very different responses to their environments. While some children are like dandelions and can thrive in almost any environment, there are others who, like orchids, are much more reactive and susceptible to their surroundings.
In this episode I will be sharing more about this concept, including:
Why some children are much more affected by their circumstances and their environment, compared to others;
I share the statistics of how many children are known as dandelion children, what this means, and what personality traits they have;
I share how many children identify as orchid children and their personality traits;
Welcome to the Natural Super Kids podcast, where you will discover practical strategies to inspire you to boost the health and nutrition of your kids. I'm Jessica Donovan, a qualified naturopath specialising in kids health, and I want to make it as easy as possible for you to raise healthy and happy kids. Let's get into it. Hello, hello, welcome back to the Natural Super Kids podcast, or maybe it's welcome to your very first episode of the Natural Super Kids podcast. It is great to have you here in our podcast community and you have landed on what I think is a really interesting episode. We are talking today about orchid and dandelion children, and this is a concept that I spoke about in a very short video on our Instagram account late last year, in December 2023, and it resonated with so many of you, so I thought I would dedicate a podcast episode to it. Now, on that, if you're not following us over on Instagram, make sure you come on over and give us a follow. We often talk more about the topics that we're talking about on the podcast. We present different highlighted information or key points from the podcast in different ways over on Instagram, and you can get a bit more of an idea of what we're doing behind the scenes on our Instagram stories as well. So we are Natural Super Kids over on Instagram. I'd love you to send me a message and say hello, tell me you found me, or us through the podcast. Yeah, I would love to connect with you over there. So this concept of orchid and dandelion children is based on the research of Thomas Boyce, who is a professor of pediatrics and psychiatry. He has written a book on this, on this research and this idea called the orchid and the dandelion, why some children struggle and how all can thrive. So if you want to dive deeper into this, you can get your hands on his book. He's also got a great TED talk. It's about 20 minutes long and you can hear more about the research that he did to come up with this concept of orchid and dandelion children. And it's really relevant for what we do here at Natural Super Kids, because a lot of the children that we see here, either in our Natural Super Kids Club membership or in our online consultations, are the dandelion children, and I will talk more about that coming up very soon. So what Thomas Boyce noticed in some research that he was doing is that there was a really big variation in how children react to adverse events in their life, and the adverse events and trauma in children's lives increase depression, mood disorders, developmental delays, behavioral challenges and so much more. And I think that's pretty easy to understand. But what he found is that some kids are much more impacted by these adverse kind of events in their life, and so he's come up with this idea that there are both dandelion children and orchid children. So 80% of children are known as or what Thomas Boyce classes as dandelion children. They are resilient, they're non-reactive, they fare well regardless of their life circumstances and the environment around them. And when we think of dandelion flowers, they grow and thrive anywhere, no matter what the external conditions are. And so dandelion children, which make up the majority of children, 80% of children they are resilient, they're adaptable, they're independent, they can weather life's storms and still flourish, they can bounce back really well from setbacks and they adapt really well to different environments and they still thrive. And, on the contrary, there are orchid children, and orchid children make up about 20% of children. Now, these are the children we might call sensitive or reactive and orchid children. They flourish and they do beautifully, just like orchid flowers, under nurture and care, but under neglect or stress, they wither and fade. So, generally, orchid children are that they're shy, they can come across as withdrawn, they have sensory hypersensitivities and they are very much affected, in often a negative way, by the environment around them. So, just like orchid flowers, they require a lot of care and attention, but they have amazing potential to flourish in the right conditions. So this is very similar to what our orchid children present. As Now, whether a child is a dandelion or an orchid is very dependable on genetics, but those genetics are either expressed or not, based on the child's environment. And this is the whole idea behind epigenetics is that, yes, we are born with certain genes that we cannot change, but things like food, nutrition, environment, toxins can affect how our genes are expressed. And this is very much applicable to this idea of dandelion and orchid children. As we know, with orchid flowers, they can be the most beautiful flowers with so much potential if given the right care and nurturing. And so, as parents of orchid children, it feels like a big responsibility, right when we hear this, that as long as we do our job well, our children will flourish. But there is so much more to a child's environment than just us as parents. There's the school environment. There's, of course, the home environment and other kind of caretaking environments that the child may experience throughout their lives. So orchid children, sensitive children, reactive children, are often the kinds of children that we are supporting here at Natural Super Kids, because they commonly present with symptoms and conditions that we have a really good reputation for helping. So orchid children will often have sensory challenges. They may get irritated by tags on their clothes or their socks. They are easily affected by noises that are too loud or smells that are too strong. They're often fussy eaters because of sensory issues and the fact that foods can taste really strong to them as well and textures can be a problem for orchid children as well. Orchid children definitely have a higher incidence of things like anxiety, depression, mood issues, behavioral challenges as well. It can be really difficult to get the attention of orchid children because they are bombarded by so much sensory information and easily become overwhelmed. So this can lead to learning challenges in a school environment. Adults might see orchid children as being dramatic, overly dramatic or reactive, but they are only you know, being true to the enormous world that exists inside of them From a skin and gut perspective. You know, kids that are these orchid children commonly can present with sensitive skin, eczema, hives, digestive issues, food intolerances. So they can be. You know they can have allergies and intolerances to food or environmental. They can suffer with hay fever or gut issues because their digestive system is quite sensitive and reactive. They can have sleep issues. They become run down easily. They're affected by stress easily. So you know what we might think as just a normal sort of occurrence or episode an orchid child might see as quite stressful and become run down. They can get sick really easily with viruses and things, and so this idea of orchid children not only affects a child's mental health but can also affect their physical health as well. And so in his book, which I would highly recommend, I mean this is an idea that I have done a bit of reading about, but this is definitely not my area of expertise, so hopefully I'm explaining it in a way that you can understand. But if this is resonating with you, I would highly recommend reading the book. But I do want to run through a few key points that Thomas talks about in his book about the sorts of things that we can do as parents to support our orchid children, and the first one is routines. Now we know all kids do better in routine. Well, most kids do better with, you know, a structured routine. But orchid children really need routines. They need that sameness. They can really be put off by new, new schedules, new foods, new people, new smells. So they really benefit from routine, family routines, meal routines, chores schedules. They do best if they know what is coming up. It provides them with a sense of control and also trust in a world that for them can often feel really chaotic and unpredictable. So really important for you know, sensitive type children, orchid children, to have some really, you know, stringent routines. The second one is love and care and nurturing and this kind of obviously is important for all children. But again, you know, parents being available, you know giving their children time and attention, is really important for orchid children. They also really do well when the parenting celebrates human differences. So we want to, as parents, be responsive to individual differences, knowing that each child brings their unique strengths and challenges. And it's really important to recognize those strengths of your orchid children and, you know, really celebrate those as well, accepting our children for who they are. And you know, I think about those children with really high, you know like, oh, what's the word? I guess really it's just those high achieving parents that are pushing their kids into, maybe, areas that they might not be interested in. I think orchid children would really struggle in these kinds of situations. So we really want to accept and affirm our orchid children and they you know orchid children really respond that they're really affected by the opinions of their parents as well. So we do need to be careful in terms of, you know, just really being accepting and to our child's individuality. Now, orchid children can be quite fearful. You know they dislike new things, new environments, new hobbies. You know it can be really hard to get them to try something new. So it's really important for us, as parents, to have that balance between encouraging them and also, you know, protecting them, because orchid kids often have trouble with lots of people in crowds, new social situations, and so they should be protected from more exposure than they can handle. But also, as parents, we need to give them loving encouragement to try new things. So this can be a really tricky balance for parents and you know, if you feel like you're not getting that right, I'm sure you are not alone. So that that balance between not overdoing it, not expecting too much from our orchid children, but also making sure that we are encouraging them to step out of their comfort zone in certain you know situations regularly. And the other thing that Thomas talks about being really great for orchid children is imaginative play, fantasy play, daydreaming is really important for all children again, but even more important for these orchid children. Orchid children can really help to. It can really help and play can really help all children process their emotions. But orchid children seem to need this much more than dandelion children do. So make sure you are giving your orchid children plenty of space and opportunity to have downtime, to have free time to, you know, prioritize play and not just kind of fit in play in any spare moments that you might have. So these are the things that Thomas Boyce sort of lists as the most important things for us to focus on if we are parents of orchid children. So this might sound like a lot and it's a lot of pressure, but I think if we have orchid children, we know you know the challenges that come along with that. So I think understanding more about our children's needs can only be a good thing and give us the tools that we need to support our children. And you know Thomas Boyce in his TED Talk, finishes up his TED Talk by reassuring parents. He says that the children who we worry about the most have the most brilliant and promising future. So, of course, this is our orchid children and under conditions of support and love they can in, they can achieve enduring health, positive development and astonishing achievement. So, although parenting orchid children can feel really challenging and difficult at times, just know that these are the kids with you, know huge potential and can really thrive and flourish under the right conditions. I really hope you've enjoyed this chat about Dandelion and orchid children. Reach out to me on Instagram, in the DMs, and let me know how you, if you've resonated with this episode, how you found it, something that you've learned, and I hope it's given you a bit more of an understanding of your child. If you do have an orchid child. I will be back in your ears with a new episode next week. Until then, I hope you have an amazing week. Thank you so much for joining me on the podcast today. Head on over to our website, naturalsuperkidscom, for the show notes for this episode as well as a whole heap of inspiration to help you raise healthy and happy kids. I'll see you next week.