Stop Overgiving & Undercharging. Start Leading.

In this episode, Regan dives into something that comes up again and again with her clients: overgiving and undercharging. She explores why this pattern is so common for women (hint: it starts long before business), why it's not the noble move it feels like, and exactly what it's costing you and your clients.

This episode is an invitation to stop over-delivering to compensate, and start leading with the confidence, clarity, and boundaries your clients actually need from you.

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome to the Pleasurepreneur Podcast
00:49 Urgency, Motivation, and What Activates You
03:21 Overgiving and Undercharging: Why It Happens
05:13 The Hidden Costs: Resentment, Avoidance, and Burnout
06:55 Why Overgiving Isn't Noble... It's Avoidance
08:46 What Your Clients Are Actually Missing Out On
12:21 FEE: Fair Energy Exchange
13:39 Stop Overgiving. Start Leading.
14:48 The Root Cause and Its Symptoms
15:55 Working Together One on One
17:31 Your Mindset Exercise: 20 Benefits for Each
18:11 Apply to Work With Regan + Closing

What You'll Learn in This Episode

• Why overgiving and undercharging is far more common for women, and where it actually comes from
• Why this pattern isn't generous... it's actually a way of avoiding discomfort
• How overgiving harms your clients by weakening your leadership and reducing their resourcefulness
• What a fair energy exchange really means (and what FEE stands for!)
• The symptoms showing up in your business that are likely connected to this deeper pattern
• A journaling exercise to start shifting your mindset and behaviour around this today

Resources + Links

• Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Regan (two spots open, prices increase July 1): reganfigg.com/coaching
• Pleasurepreneur Mastermind waitlist: reganfigg.com/mastermind
• Follow Regan on Instagram: @regan_figg

Transcript

[00:00:00] 

Regan: Hello and welcome to the Pleasurepreneur podcast. This podcast will help you create what you desire in your business with pleasure. Whether that be calling in your ideal clients, making more money, or creating a balanced business life blend, I'm your host. Regan Fig pleasure and business coach, published author of a Mother's Pleasure wife and mama to three little Wildlings.

However, you're choosing to listen to this podcast. Ask yourself, how can I make this more pleasurable and do just that? I acknowledge the custodians of the land on which this podcast is recorded and produced, the Wadi Wadi people of Doland. Now let's proceed with pleasure.

Hey, hey, lovely. So let's step back in time. All right. I have worked out that I am so good with a, like, a short [00:01:00] time Challenge, you know? Like, that really gives me a boost of, I don't know if it's adrenaline.

I think it's a surge of dopamine. Um, but it really... I can tell it activates my reward system. Like, "Ooh, let's go, let's go." I'm very competitive. I'll s- just start there. Like, I used to race my microwave when I was a kid. Like, if it was a 30 seconds to heat up, I don't know, a couple of donuts or something, I would see how many laps of the kitchen I could run in 30 seconds.

and now I, like... If, if my milk is frothing on our coffee machine, I'm running around trying to get something else done while that's happening. it feels fun for me. it feels like a bit of a challenge, and now I can see why my middle child is the way he is. So anyway, that brings me to share with you that I'm going to record this now at 5:06 PM, when I should be starting dinner in about 10 minutes.

So, let's do this. Let's get stuck in. And I think this is probably a good intro as well for you to [00:02:00] consider, like, how do you work best sometimes? Maybe urgency-based motivation isn't for you. Maybe that's... Or maybe that is for you, but it's the only thing you lean on.

I've done a podcast episode on that already. I wouldn't say that would be the best choice to lean on all the time because then we just become stressed, and we get into the pattern of needing to be stressed in order to take action. But yeah, like, I'd get curious about, what are some of the things that have me become a little bit more motivated or engaged or focused or switched on and like, "Yeah, let's do this."

chances are, those are the things that are activating the reward system in your brain and giving you a really fun kick up the butt. So, shall we dive in? Yes, we shall. First of all, thank you so much for joining me here. we're back podcasting. It feels so good to be podcasting. I heard something on Instagram the other day, and it was like, "To all of you who got into trouble for talking too much in high school, how's your podcast going?"

And that's so me. I remember my girlfriend and I, we [00:03:00] got a award from our PE teacher, and it was like, the award was... Or a certificate, I don't know, whatever it was, for the per- person who can speak the most words in 80 minutes. So there you go. All right. So, welcome to the podcast if you are new around here.

Welcome back if you are not. It's so good to have you here. All right. Today I want to dive into something that comes up often with my clients, this sense of like overgiving and undercharging, which obviously then leads to us feeling burnt out, feeling drained, feeling flat, not having time for the things that we wanna do for ourselves, for our family, for our life, and then just leaving ourself very shortchanged.

Um, so not fun, not enjoyable, not pleasurable business Now, even though I only work with women, so I can't really say whether this a, is a woman's or a man's or an everybody problem, but I think this significantly affects women. I [00:04:00] think probably from our societal beliefs and our conditioning and upbringing, we have kind of been conditioned...

I, I shouldn't say we've kind of been. We have been conditioned to be the givers and to give for free and to care for free. So already that puts us at a baseline of, like, we should be doing everything for free, right? We should be over-giving, under-earning. That's kind of our baseline. So we've got work to do to start with

Because if you are undercharging and overgiving, it's not actually benefiting you, and it's not benefiting your client either. And I wonder if you're thinking like, "Oh, well, me overgiving and, you know, undercharging is a benefit to my client." But it's not, and you're gonna learn why in this episode, and you're also gonna come to understand how it's not benefiting any of you, right?

but chances are you're telling yourself that it is benefiting you and your clients. Maybe you're telling yourself, "Oh, it's benefiting me 'cause then, you know, I'll get more clients 'cause there'll be great word of mouth." And maybe it's benefiting your clients [00:05:00] 'cause they don't have to be charged so much, and they're getting heaps of, you know, value.

and what that looks like is thinking that, you know, you're being really caring, you're being really supportive, you're being really generous. but what is actually happening is that you're saying yes to things that you don't wanna say yes to. Yeah? So you're probably saying yes to clients that you actually really don't enjoy working with.

You're probably saying yes to timelines that actually stress you out, messages outside of business hours when all you wanna do is switch off. you're agreeing to payment plans you don't actually want to have in place. You are pricing your work in a way that leaves you feeling a little or maybe even a lot resentful, yeah?

And then you're wondering, you know, perhaps why your energy feels off, or why you have some resentment towards your business, or why you actually don't really want to show up and sell your offer. It's because you don't wanna sign any more clients because you're overgiving and undercharging, and you don't wanna do more of that, yeah?

It's probably why [00:06:00] business might feel, ugh, like heavy. You know? Why you might feel like you're having to really dig deep to get energy to do the work that you need to do. and like as I kinda mentioned before, like why you're low-key avoiding showing up. Yeah? Like, we don't show up and sell our offers, or we don't show up and sell if we don't want people to buy what we're selling.

Now, chances are you're probably thinking, "Oh, but of course I do. I wanna make money, and I wanna help my clients," and all the rest of it. But subconsciously, if you are over... I'm like, is it overearning? No. If you are overgiving and underearning, subconsciously that is something that you will want to avoid, so you're actually going to be subconsciously self-sabotaging.

Yeah? And even though chances are you think it's very noble to be overgiving and undercharging, it's actually not. It is not noble, and here is why

Overgiving and [00:07:00] undercharging is not noble. It is not good service. What you're doing when you're overgiving and undercharging is you're actually trying to manipulate a situation for your own comfort rather than giving premium service. Yeah, it is you avoiding discomfort, avoiding the discomfort of charging what you actually want to charge, of holding boundaries, of letting people be okay with a no, of backing yourself completely.

Yeah, it feels easier to believe you're being noble than to be with the discomfort of asking for what you want or need. I feel like I need to repeat that again. It feels easier to believe you're being noble than it is to be with the discomfort of asking for what you want and need. Okay. I get it. This is what I went through when I opened my postpartum Pandora's box of all these kind of beliefs about how I needed to be as a mother, as a wife, you know?

[00:08:00] And it was so uncomfortable to prioritize myself, and there was so many s- deeply ingrained beliefs that it would've just been easier to have been a martyr and to have depleted myself and Really not looked after my wellbeing. Um, it actually took work to prioritize myself and remind myself that I matter, and what I want matters, and what I need is important, yeah?

I totally get it. So why don't we talk about what it actually costs when you are over-giving and under-charging. I feel like at some point in this episode I'm gonna switch it around the wrong way, and I'm gonna say that you're over-charging and under-giving. Anyway, you know what I mean. Okay? Like, let's talk about what it, it actually costs, right?

Because, you know, your clients are missing out too. As I said at the start of this episode, I think there's this idea that, oh, it's all for the clients and it's gonna come back in a good way for us. And like sometimes you probably will over-give, but if you're doing this [00:09:00] consistently and burning yourself out, you're burning the candle at both ends, you're over-charging...

Oh, see, I've done it again. You're o- over-giving and under-charging, your clients are actually missing out. They're at a disadvantage, yeah? They are not getting the version of you who is a strong, clear, confident leader. Yeah? They are getting the version of you who is, you know, overextended and somewhat resentful, or maybe a lot resentful, trying to keep everyone happy.

You know, kinda... I get this like idea of like flimsy, like loose... You know those, um, those blow-up, like, people with the long arms out the front of like stores? That's what I'm getting in the felt sense of. Like, that's the kind of energy. You're just like, "Oh, I can bend any way you want me to bend." Like, that wouldn't make your clients feel safe.

They're coming to you as a leader, as an expert, as, you know, the authority to help them create the results they desire. They don't want like flimsy, like licorice arm blow-up [00:10:00] doll out the front of a car shop, right? they want a version of you that is leading from a confident place of conviction, that is powerful, that holds her standards clearly and cleanly.

it does not create the same kind of result to be bendy licorice guy, or the confident, steadfast leader that your clients are looking to you for. Yeah. it also, like, let's point out the obvious. If you are overextending yourself, and you are undercharging, and you are overgiving, chances are you've got a very, very full calendar and not a lot of time to go surfing, or have coffee in the sun with your man, or, um, have a after lunch nap time, or...

You know what I mean? You are probably up to your eyeballs doing stuff for other people in all areas of your life, and that does not make a well-nourished, vitalized... Vitalized? I think that's a word. [00:11:00] well-nourished, vitalized, vivacious, energetic high-functioning human. You know, this is the standard that we want to be able to set for our clients.

This is why I take a week off every quarter in my business. I have something like maybe eight weeks off a year, and that doesn't include like some long, long weekends and things like that. really encourage all my clients to have some kind of sustainable business model. M- it might not look like having a week off every quarter.

It might look like a four-day long weekend once a month. It might look like no client calls once a month when they're on their period. It might look different in many different ways, but ultimately, we need to look after ourselves so we can give back to our clients and give back to them in a really high-level manner, give them premium service, right?

What also happens if you are over-giving and under-charging is your clients actually miss out on becoming more resourceful for themselves. Yeah? You are training them to rely on [00:12:00] you more than they need to when you're over-giving. So instead of them being really resourceful, instead of them joining the dots, they're getting everything handed to them on a platter and more, and chances are they're not even making use of the entrée.

You know? it doesn't actually serve them when you are over-giving. Yeah? Now, let's talk about the cost for you, right? I kinda touched on this anyway. But you will actually miss out on the income your work actually deserves, right? Cue resentment. the time and space that makes your work exceptional.

Yeah? The creativity, the energy, the desire to even show up, and you miss out on having a business that feels spacious and profitable and enjoyable to run, and almost, like, this sense of fairness, right? Like, someone once said to me, you know the word fee? Like, what's the fee, F-E-E? Um, they said, "No, it stands for a fair energy exchange."

And so if you're [00:13:00] over-giving and under-charging, there is not a fair energy exchange for you. Yeah? That is going to impact the way you feel about your business, the way you approach your business, the kind of motivation and excitement you have towards your business, along with the way you actually show up and serve your clients.

Yeah? Everything can start to feel like a bit too much when we are over-giving and under-charging and under-earning, yeah? there's a good chance that you'll end up fantasizing burning it all down, you know? Or simplifying, when really you don't actually need to do less. You need to lead better. Yeah? You need to set your boundaries.

You need to stick with what you said you would do and not add on a million different bells and whistles because you feel like it's not good enough. You know? This is the shift. This is the shift. When you learn how to set clear boundaries, price your work intentionally, design offers that actually support you, things change dramatically.

And I'm not just talking about in your calendar, I'm talking about how magnetic you become and how your clients benefit. Because [00:14:00] you show up with clearer, cleaner energy, with more certainty, with more power, you know, or conviction. There's some kind of, like, powerfulness about that, right? Um, you're not over-delivering to compensate.

You are leading. Yeah? You know, you're inviting your clients to step up, to take more responsibility, and to get better results. And you, my love, you get some of your time back, you get your energy back, you get your creativity back. If you have a full chock-a-block calendar and a whole bunch of resentment towards your business or your clients or both, good chance you're not gonna be very creative.

You can only imagine then what your content is like or your next offer creation or your next launch. You know, when you can actually stop doing this, your business will start to feel like something that you actually want to be in

And if you're noticing resistance just from listening to this episode, if you're thinking some version of, "Oh, but if I don't keep over-giving and undercharging, I'm not gonna be able to sign any more clients," or, " My work won't be good enough," [00:15:00] or, "My clients will be dissatisfied" or, "They'll think..." You know, fill in the blank.

That is the problem. The over-giving and the undercharging is the symptom, right? Now, this problem we can probably just sum it up as not feeling good enough or, you know, lacking belief in yourself and what you have to offer. This will also be creating other symptoms in your business as well. So chances are, if this is you, if you are over-giving and undercharging, you're probably also going to be struggling to sell consistently because you don't fully back yourself and what you're offering.

You will probably be second-guessing decisions you've already made. attracting clients who question you and push boundaries. Feeling like you need more qualifications or more certifications, right? Launching and then constantly looking outside yourself for reassurance that it's working, or even like, you know, launching your offer and then checking the stats constantly.

Yeah? This is what we can shift for you working together one on one, where we [00:16:00] actually look at what the core problem is, we resolve that, and then you resolve the symptoms, right? We look at why you're overcompensating, why you're throwing in all those bells and whistles, why you're not raising your prices to actually match the effort or the value, why you're doing way more than is expected or being paid for.

Yeah? We do not just tweak your pricing and your offers and then I send you off into the world too uncomfortable to actually say the price to anyone out loud or make offers to your people. We actually shift how you relate to yourself and your work, and we improve your boundaries and your standards and what you're available for, and your sense of enoughness so that you can run your business on your terms.

Yeah? So you can step into the version of you who no longer over-gives and undercharges but who creates life-changing shifts for her clients, right? Like, you, you will still be creating those same amazing results with your clients, but [00:17:00] you'll be doing it whilst being more financially and energetic support...

But you'll be doing it whilst being more financially and energetically supported than ever before, right? We create a situation where you win and your clients win as well. So if you have been noticing yourself in this, feeling a, a little or a lot resentful and feeling overextended and a bit like your business is taking way more from you than it's giving, this is your sign.

It is time to stop over-giving and start leading. So i'll leave you with something to play with that will have you start to shift your mindset and your behavior around this already. Grab a pen and a paper, and I want you to answer this question. How does me not over-giving and undercharging benefit, one, me and my people and my community, and two, my client, their people, and their community?

Now, I want you to write down at least 20 benefits to each of these categories, doubling down on point number two [00:18:00] with, you know, your client, their people, and their community. Right? You're already gonna begin to ease the over-giving and undercharging pattern just from shifting that mindset. All right, I'll leave that there.

If this is something that you want support with, you can apply to work with me one-on-one. I have opened up two spots right now at my current price point. As of July s- as of July 1st, my prices will be going up significantly for private coaching. so head below into the show notes, take a squiz at the link, click and apply.

we can also have a consult call together where you will leave it feeling more clear than when you began. But yeah, go have a great day. Stop over-giving and undercharging, and start valuing yourself, my love. All right. Bye for now