[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Pleasurepreneur podcast. This podcast will help you create what you desire in your business with pleasure. Whether that be calling in your ideal clients, making more money, or creating a balanced business life blend, I'm your host. Regan Fig pleasure and business coach, published author of a Mother's Pleasure wife and mama to three little Wildlings.
However, you're choosing to listen to this podcast. Ask yourself, how can I make this more pleasurable and do just that? I acknowledge the custodians of the land on which this podcast is recorded and produced, the Wadi Wadi people of Doland. Now let's proceed with pleasure.
Speaker: Well, hi. I think today might be a little bit of a different podcast episode, purely because I feel like this is something that you might need to hear today or this week or this month, depending on [00:01:00] what's going on for you. I have seen, as probably you have too, a lot of conversations on the internet.
You know, there's some people who are creating some epic success, in the online space right now, Jessie Jane being one of them with her Yep challenge. and who was the other person I was thinking of as well? Just people just having this incredible amount of success in what looks like a very short period of time.
, So for example, Jessie Jane creating, I think it was a $1.2 million launch in, like, 70 minutes or something when she opened her doors. And then I saw, an ad recently, and it was like, you know, "I went from making, like, this small amount of income a few years ago to now making this kind of money and having all this kind of success," which I think is so wonderful.
I love that people can share their journey, and they can share what's possible for others. This is why I like to share when I have, like, big income months or, yeah, what my wins and celebrations are. As well, I want you [00:02:00] to know that it's possible for you as well. but for example, this conversation that I heard, it was an ad, and it was like, "I have created this incredible amount of success in this short period of time because I did this one thing."
And I was like, "Oh, fu- fuck off. You didn't just do one thing. You did a million different things to work out what your best levers were to pull." You know? And, like, obviously that's great marketing, and I'm sure there's probably time ... There has probably been times when I've shared some great marketing, and ha- it's been very oversimplified.
, But I think what it does when we are portraying people as having this overnight success is it creates more frustration for ourselves. It makes us feel like we're inadequate or like we don't know what we're doing, we're doing the wrong things, or we're doing the right things but we're doing them wrong.
you know, and then of course when we start to feel like that in ourselves and [00:03:00] about our business, it can be really hard to, not spiral, to not let the mind drama take over, to not get into this state of stress in which we then start to look around us for, you know, the problems that need solving.
Because I mean, this is what happens when we are feeling stressed in our business, when we think that it's not working for us, when we think that we're doing it wrong, then we do go into a stress response. And part of what we do as humans, from a neurological perspective and a nervous systems perspective, is that when we are in a stress response and when we have our sympathetic nervous system activated, what happens then is we're actually looking for threats.
We are ... Like, our body feels as though we are not safe, so it is predicting any kind of danger ahead of us. So we're looking around for threats. Now, we are no longer cave women. w- there is no longer, you know, saber-tooth tiger that could be the threat for us. But for us as women in [00:04:00] business, that can look like us looking around at our business and going, " Okay, well, where's the problem?
I'm obviously not doing my content right, or my messaging is wrong, or- I di- don't have a big enough following, or I need to learn how to yap, or I need to do X, Y, and Z. You know, we start to make problems when there aren't any problems. Now why that is a problem is because then it makes us change our strategy.
It makes us pivot. It makes us decide we need a new offer or new pricing, or we need to be showing up differently. We need to change our launch plan completely. We go from, you know, being consistent and starting to build momentum to shifting gears, changing momentum. That's the kind of physical showing up and, you know, changing things.
That's what it looks like for in our business. But what it looks like in our mind is that mind drama, what I call it, it's like mind drama, where we think like, "Oh, I'm not doing it right." and what [00:05:00] happens is when we're thinking thoughts of, like, let's just sum it up as, it's not working, then that leads to us having a certain type of feeling, such as feeling deflated or rejected, or like it's worthless, not worthless, pointless, which then leads to a certain type of action or inaction.
So obviously, if we're telling ourselves it's not working, we feel deflated and that it's pointless, what kind of action are we gonna be taking? We're probably not gonna be taking much action, and the action we are taking is probably gonna be, like, half-assed action. We're not gonna bring our full ass behind it.
We're probably going to just be doing a tick the box kind of content. you know, we're not gonna have that energy behind us. And so of course, then that leads to a certain type of result. So if you are feeling right now frustrated or deflated or like it's a little bit pointless or even just confused because you're [00:06:00] like, "No, I know this is going to work.
I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. I know that I am living my life's work. I know that, you know, not far off from here, there's some incredible things coming."
Then I want you to listen to this episode because I wanna help you... Well, I wanna give you a little bit of a pep talk. In order to shift some of that mind drama back into a place of personal power for yourself, in order t- for you to see how things are working in your business, and in order for you to open your mind of how things might be working in your favor that you have no idea about, you know, I want you to consider right now, like, what are some of the things that could be happening in the background that you've got no idea about?
I've shared this quite a while ago. I had a week in my business years ago, and I was feeling a little bit like this, a little bit deflated and a little bit like, "Oh, gosh, nothing's working, and people aren't engaging on my socials or people aren't buying," et cetera. And in one week I had, [00:07:00] someone drop a little cupcake on my table, when I was working at a coffee shop, and she said, " I f- like, I follow you.
I love what you share. Every single day I'm, like, tapping into whatever it is you're sharing. it's always so good for me." She, like this woman, had never commented, liked, DM'd me, bought anything from me And so I could see how I was, you know, discrediting that the work I was doing was having any kind of impact when people weren't engaging like that.
So that was a great lesson in me knowing that actually I'm changing people's lives and I don't even know about it. another couple of things that happened that week was, um, a friend had gone to a women's circle, and she came back to tell me that while she was at this women's circle, there was another couple of women that, were there who were talking about me, and they were talking about the work I was doing, and I think they maybe had participated in maybe a freebie that I had done.
One person had, and they were telling the, the other person how great it was. and so I mean, like, if my friend wasn't [00:08:00] at that circle and didn't tell me about it, I wouldn't have known about that. So I want you to know that your efforts are being noticed. People are paying attention. People are feeling what it is that you're putting out.
You are changing lives from what you're doing, and you don't even know about it. I want you to know that there are people who have you on their vision board to work with when they've got the income. I want you to know that people are budgeting to work with you. I want you to know that people are looking forward to whatever it is that you're going to post or share next.
They're hoping that they can come to your next in-person event or sign up for your next offering. Yeah, there are people working out how they can make it work to hire you. And not only that, there are things that are happening for you in your favor that will conspire for you to make things work for you ahead of time, and you don't even know that they're happening yet.
There are conversations that people are having. There are doors that are being [00:09:00] opened for you. There are people singing your praises that you have no idea about
And this is happening whether you have mind drama, or you're getting signups, or somebody else is having an overnight success or not. You know, you putting in the effort and showing up and sharing with the world is creating what they call the adjacent principle. So this is where, you know, I say this all the time.
I didn't know what the hell was going on here. I just knew this was a thing. I'd experienced it for myself as well as with my clients, where we're putting effort into, say... a launch. Or maybe it's like we're putting our love and effort and energy and attention and, and energy into a freebie that's part of our launch to have people follow that funnel and, you know, join our program.
And you might have finished the freebie, maybe it was a masterclass or a webinar, you didn't get the signups that [00:10:00] you wanted for your program, but you get someone who randomly finds you and drops into your DMs and says, "Oh my gosh, I want to work with you. How can I work with you?" It's like we create the result that we want, but oftentimes it's not actually through the avenue in which we predicted or expected or created or planned for, you know?
There is energy and miracles and, like, things and magic that is just happening that you have no idea about that is conspiring in your favor. And, and as I said, you have no idea about it right now. So maybe instead of us spending our airtime at one end of the spectrum where things are going wrong, where people don't wanna pay you, where maybe you've got, um
You're, you're at a lower ... How do I say this? Um, maybe you're not in a place where you thought you would be at this time of the year. so instead of spending our time really focusing [00:11:00] on what's not working, what could be the problems, where we're lacking, where we're not enough, where somebody else is doing better than us, instead of spending a lot of our airtime up that end of the spectrum, I'm gonna invite you to spend some more airtime up the other end of the spectrum, where you're thinking about, "How is this working in my favor?
What wonderful things are happening in the background that I have no idea about?" And let yourself go there. Let yourself, you know, daydream and ponder and journal on this. Like, what wonderful things could be happening in the background that you have no idea about? Like, make it like a menu. Make it like a wish or a spell or some kind of a sacred ritual where you are actually saying, "Okay, universe, let's work together.
I am going to envision that these things are happening in the background." Let's put our energy and attention towards that. What we focus on, we find the evidence of. So if we are focusing on the frustration and feeling de- depleted and defeated, if we are focusing [00:12:00] on, you know, what other people are creating and the successes that they're having, and then comparing it to ourselves and feeling like we come up short- Then the more we focus on that, the more we're gonna find evidence of that.
It's kinda like, you know, if you are... At the moment I've just done a big order for some new skincare. And not to say I've got a new skincare regime, but I'm trying to, coach myself to get hot, rich, and hungry for more in 80 days before my 40th birthday. Actually, I won't say I'm trying to. I am coaching myself to get hot, rich, and hungry for more, in 80 days, and I might even do a whole podcast episode on what that is.
but I'm focusing a little bit more attention on my face, on looking after myself, on feeling good in myself, on doing things that have me feel good and have my skin a little bit more glowy. So I'm noticing when the, the light is catching my face [00:13:00] that makes it look a little bit glowy, you know? 'Cause that's what I'm focusing on, you know?
I know that if I wanna get hot, rich, and hungry for more before my 40th birthday, then I need to focus on those things, not focus on where I am not those things, right? 'Cause where we focus on, we find the evidence of. So same deal here. I want you to focus on what you wanna find the evidence of. So let's reverse engineer that.
What do you wanna find the evidence of? What do you really desire? What do you want to create in your business? What you want wants you back. Our desires are divine guidance. Yeah, what is it that you really desire? Make it a menu, not a, a wish list. These are the things that I'm choosing on the menu. What are you starting out with first?
What's the entree? Make it a fucking smorgasbord.
Make it a smorgasbord of desires and results and real-life things that will be happening for you and your business in the [00:14:00] future. Play there. Play with that energy. Play with those thoughts. Play with those incredible results that you are desiring. Maybe even you will reveal some desires you didn't even know that you had.
Maybe you'll be noticing that there's some desires there that you are disowning, discrediting, that you are avoiding because maybe they feel, inconvenient or out of reach or like you're incapable. Let yourself keep them on the menu. You know, oftentimes we will not pursue our desires because we don't believe that we can create whatever we think the purpose of those desires is.
So what I mean by that is, like, your job is not to try and work out what the purpose of that desire is. Your job is to just honor that desire and, like, be in the energy and the vision of that desire. Know that, like I said, your desires want you back. Your desires are divine guidance. They are there to take you [00:15:00] where you are meant to go, where you desire to go.
I really desire to do a TEDx Talk. that's gonna be a top priority for me for next year. And so of course my brain wants to tell me that, oh, okay, well, I wanna do a TEDx Talk so I can become the next Brené Brown and go viral and have my books filled with all these incredible women that I get to work with, right?
That's my mind skipping to what I think the purpose of the desire is. But that might not be the purpose of this desire. This desire could just be for me to connect with perhaps another speaker there on the day. Maybe it is to, I don't know, get some other kind of opportunity that's going to lead to, you know, that result of having my calendar completely booked out, you know?
so it's actually not my job to try and work out what the purpose of the desire is, but let myself have the desire and lean towards it and let [00:16:00] myself envision it and give myself permission to go towards that. You know, and it's really hard to do that when we are second-guessing ourselves, when we are feeling like, you know, we're incapable of that, where we feel like less than compared to others, et cetera, right?
So play with this energy. Play with this desire. Let yourself daydream and ponder What wonderful things are happening in the background you have no idea about? What we focus on, we find the evidence of. So what kind of evidence do you want to create? And let's focus on that. Know that you are right where you need to be right now, and that people are paying attention, and people do wanna work with you, and your growth of income is coming.
And if you are feeling impatient or frustrated because it's not here right now, know that it's because it's coming for you, and you can feel [00:17:00] that. So the fastest way to get there is to lean into that end of the spectrum where it is working, where everything is working out in your favor, where wonderful things are happening in the background that you have no idea about, and be prepared to be very pleasantly surprised when they come forth.
Now, I would love to hear from you. What is on your menu? What are some wonderful things that you would love to be happening in the background that you don't know about yet, right? What are some of the things that you wanna create? What's that kind of evidence that you are focusing on? come send me a DM.
I wanna hear all about it. And if making way more money with way more pleasure is something that you're desiring, I want you to join the wait list for the Pleasurepreneur Mastermind. This is where we get into the energy of growing our business in a way that feels so good for us, where you will learn how to get out of those mind drama spirals, where you will learn how to navigate the mid-launch dips, where [00:18:00] you will become so unstoppable because you can bring pleasure into any part of business
All right, my love. That's it for today. I hope to see you on the wait list for the Pleasurepreneur Mastermind. Bye for now
