105. Beyond Parenting: Six Strategies to Thrive in Your Next Chapter

When your children leave home, your primary identity as a parent shifts—often leaving a sense of emptiness and questioning, "Who am I now?" According to research, nearly 80% of adults aged 50-64 feel dissatisfied with their sense of purpose, highlighting how challenging this transition can be. But what if this period is also an opportunity for a personal renaissance?

In this empowering episode, we explore how to transform the emotional turmoil of the empty nest into a fertile ground for growth and self-discovery. Instead of viewing this phase as an end, learn to see it as your "Me Era"—a deliberate season of rediscovery and renewal. We discuss six evidence-based strategies grounded in psychology research, including accepting discomfort, starting small, practicing mindfulness, visualizing your ideal future, shifting perspective on challenges, and building emotional resilience.

Whether you're approaching this change with trepidation or excitement, this episode offers compassionate, practical guidance to help you navigate the transition with patience, courage, and purpose. Growth may take time, but your most fulfilling years could be just ahead.

Highlights & Key Takeaways:

• Nearly 80% of adults 50-64 feel a loss of purpose after children leave home.
• This period can trigger anxiety or depression without intentional self-focus.
• Reframe the empty nest as your "Me Era"—a time to redirect energy inward.
• Embrace discomfort and fear as natural signals of growth; resilience increases when we lean into them.
• Six practical strategies: acceptance, small steps, mindfulness, visualization, perspective shifts, and resilience-building.
• Growth requires patience, compassion, and ongoing effort.
• Seeking support from community, friends, or professionals is a sign of strength and an essential part of the process.

Join us to discover how this transitional chapter can become your most enriching, meaningful, and joyful season yet. 

Your next great adventure begins with understanding and self-compassion.

Chapters

• 0:00 Embracing Change in the Empty Nest
• 3:38 Understanding the Empty Nest Challenge
• 5:22 Six Strategies for Personal Growth
• 10:09 Building Resilience in Your Me Era
• 13:10 Taking Action in Your Next Chapter

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

And if you're sitting there and saying, no way, I am who I am, there's no chance for me to grow. You can. I've seen it time and time again. And if you love who you are now, right now, great, how can you make it better? And if you're like the 80% of people age 50 to 64 who are just satisfied with their lives, even just a little bit, then what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it today? What then? What are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it today?

Speaker 2: 0:27

What are you going to do about it? Tomorrow, the next day? Welcome to this Empty Nest Life. Join Jay Ramsden as he leads you on a transformative journey through the uncharted seas of midlife and empty nesting. If you're ready to embark on this new adventure and redefine your future, you're in the right place. Here's your host, the Empty Nest Coach, Jay Ramston.

Speaker 1: 0:47

Hey there, all you amazing Empty Nesters, and a big shout out today to those soon to be Empty Nesters that are tuning in. I'm so glad you have found the show. This episode today is especially for you and, honestly, it's a little different because I want to talk about what's coming next. But hold on to your hats, my friends, because I'm coming in a little hot today, not because I've got a crystal ball Nope, that's not it but because I see something pretty common and I want to shine a light on it for you. So where's all this coming from? Well, lately I've been noticing a lot of comments and messages, especially during graduation season, about feelings of being lost after the kids leave home. And let me tell you, I get it Because I've seen this with so many clients and community members. It's the biggest thing that comes up when the kids prepare to leave the nest. Now, many of you, you've dedicated your lives to raising your children. No-transcript time. You did something just for you. When was the last time I did something just for me? Am I still connected to the person I was before I was a parent? Do I even know or remember who I was before I became a parent? Chances are probably not. I became a parent. Chances are probably not. Here's something I discovered and you might find it interesting.

Speaker 1: 2:30

In 2017, the Pew Research Center did a study that found that nearly 80% yes, 80, eight zero percent of adults aged 50 to 64 report feeling somewhat or very dissatisfied with their sense of purpose and fulfillment. That's a pre-pandemic rate of 80%. I can only imagine that it's maybe a little bit higher now, given everything that we went through with the pandemic, and here's why that rate is so high. Many of us, many of us purposely delay our own passions to prioritize our children's needs, which can lead to feeling disconnected from our own identity. Navigating major life transitions, such as the children leaving home, often experience increased levels of anxiety and depressive symptoms if they don't have an intentional self-focus or purpose. An intentional self-focus or purpose. Do you see where I'm going with today? So I want you to know my emptiness. Friends, you are not alone.

Speaker 1: 3:42

First of all, in feeling this way, it's incredibly common to feel a bit lost because most of us weren't educated on how to transition into this new phase of life. There just weren't any examples for us. Now I want you to think about this. What if, instead of feeling lost, you looked at this as an opportunity, an opportunity to rediscover who you are, beyond being a parent or a caregiver, to focus your energy back on yourself. Here's a thought what if this season is actually meant to be your me era? Okay, the idea of me time? It's more than just a phrase. Me time is more than just a phrase. You might be thinking great. Easier said than done, jay, I get it. I get it.

Speaker 1: 4:31

Starting something new can be intimidating, but it's also essential. Let's talk for a minute about how you start shifting your perspective and your energy. First, reframe your fear and discomfort, because that feeling in your stomach, right there in the pit of your stomach, when you start thinking about changes, that's just your brain signaling hey, I'm stepping out of my comfort zone here. And growth like real growth, that happens just beyond that zone. Studies from Harvard Business School show that embracing discomfort actually makes us more resilient. It makes us more creative and confident. So leaning into that unease is a good sign. It means you're actually on the edge of growth. So what can you do to move forward?

Speaker 1: 5:22

Here are six strategies for this week. They're simple and they're doable and they're powerful. If you're at home and you got a pen and paper, write it down, press pause as many times as you need If you're driving. Come back to this episode, please. Here are six strategies to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Speaker 1: 5:38

Number one acceptance. Recognize that discomfort is part of the process. You know this, inherently. You know this. But when emotions come up, whether they're that sadness or fear or guilt, acknowledge them, acknowledge them without judgment. And here's a reflective question for you what feelings are you willing to accept as part of this transition? Number two start small. Big changes happen little by little. Maybe it's dedicating 10 minutes a day just for yourself reading or walking or meditating, or something else just for yourself, reading or walking or meditating or something else. But start small. And here's your reflective question for starting small what's one small thing you can do today that makes you feel alive and authentic? And if you find it hard to kind of zone in on what alive and authentic means, spend a little time figuring out what that means for you as part of starting small.

Speaker 1: 6:43

Number three practice mindfulness and breathing. A few deep breaths or a short meditation can center you and reduce anxiety. I know this to be true. I know that people talk about this all the time, with mindfulness and gratitude and breathing, but it's built on science. It does work. So think about this all the time, with mindfulness and gratitude and breathing. But it's built on science. It does work. So think about this. How do you feel right now? Can you pause and just breathe for a moment? Here's why research shows that mindfulness practices like meditation significantly decrease feelings of stress and improve emotional regulation. A 2022 review in Frontiers in Psychology found that consistent mindfulness, a consistent mindfulness practice, leads to lower levels of anxiety and depression, especially in adults who are facing significant life transitions. And the empty nest, whether you want to believe it or not, is a significant life transition.

Speaker 1: 7:50

Okay, number four visualize what success looks like. Imagine yourself embracing this new chapter. Imagine yourself feeling confident, joyful and purposeful. Visualization isn't just wishful thinking, my friends. Again, I'm going to go to the science. Science shows it can prime your brain for success. A study published in Psychological Science found that visualization techniques improves performance and confidence in real-world tasks. Imagine what your life. Visualize what your life is going to look like tomorrow, the next day, the next month, the next year. Ask yourself what does my ideal, me era look like? What passions or activities light you up? Right now, maybe there are no passions or activities that light you up right now. But that's no passions or activities that light you up right now. But that's the goal is to find what that looks like. First, you got to deal with the feelings. Go back to step one, all right. Step five shift your perspective Instead of viewing this transition as a loss and it is a loss.

Speaker 1: 8:55

I don't want to minimize that at all. It's a loss of energy in the home. It's a loss of how a daily routine works. It's a change. I want you to see it as an opportunity, though. Challenges are lessons in disguise. We talked about challenges a little bit last week. They're lessons in disguise. When you reframe setbacks as growth opportunities, you open the door to resilience. Growth opportunities. You open the door to resilience Again. Research from positive psychology suggests that a mind shift viewing optic obstacles as opportunities enhances well being and Excel accelerates your personal growth. And if there's anything that I believe in, it's developing and continuing to develop personal growth in your empty nest years.

Speaker 1: 9:40

Okay, here's a reflective question for this one. How can I reframe my current challenges to see them as stepping stones? Your kids are off taking that next step. Do the same for yourself. Number six build resilience. Resilience isn't about never failing, never falling, never tripping up on yourself. It's about bouncing back stronger each time. I want you to embrace the setbacks as part of the process. The more you practice we hear this all the time the more you practice, the sturdier emotional muscles become. Yes, emotional muscles. A lot of what happens here in the work that I do with folks is building mental wealth. We talk about physical health. We talk about physical wealth. We talk about financial wealth. Let's get into mental wealth as well. Research from the American Psychology Association highlights that resilience is associated with better mental health outcomes during life transitions. And again, we know yes, jay, emptiness is a life transition, and a pretty big one. Okay, here's a reflective question for this. What's a recent challenge other than the transition from going into empty nesting? What's a recent challenge? You turned into an opportunity and how did you grow? So here's what I want you to hold on to this week.

Speaker 1: 11:09

You are at a powerful turning point, a pivotal time in your life. Feelings of uncertainty are natural, but they can also be your invitation to take a look inside and see how you want to grow as a person. This is the time for that. Your emptiness years are a time to grow as a person. And if you're sitting there and saying, no way, I am who I am, there's no chance for me to grow. You can I've seen it time and time again. And if you love who you are now, right now, great. How can you make it better?

Speaker 1: 11:41

And if you're like the 80% of people age 50 to 64 who are just satisfied with their lives, even just a little bit, then what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it today? What are you going to do about it tomorrow, the next day? Remember, growth takes patience, it takes compassion and it takes consistent effort. And the consistent effort is where a lot of people get tripped up, but also the patience and compassion in your own life for yourself is another place people get tripped up. But again, the most important thing is to start small and to celebrate each step. And here's a little secret the more you lean into discomfort, knowing it's a sign you're moving forward, the easier it becomes.

Speaker 1: 12:29

Now, if you're wondering where the heck to get started, or if you'd like some personalized guidance, I've got something just for you. I created a masterclass called your Me Era and it's designed specifically for men and women like you who already discover their purpose and embrace this new chapter. Embrace it fully. That's the goal Now, this your Me Era. It's just a laid-back, practical and focused on helping you build resilience. It helps you find passions and create your next best chapter, and it's all built inside of a community. You can check it out at thisemptinesslifecom under the masterclasses tab. There is no pressure, it's just a resource when you're ready.

Speaker 1: 13:10

All right, my friends, just another reminder. You don't have to go this alone. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to lean on a community or to seek support, whether that's through self-care friends or professionals. Lean on a community or to seek support, whether that's through self-care friends or professionals. Every small step you take, every new perspective you adopt that brings you closer to thriving in your me era. Okay, thanks for listening. And remember this is your time. Embrace it, grow into it and own it. And until next time, take care of yourselves and know you're capable of incredible things. And now is the time to take care of yourselves and know you're capable of incredible things and now is the time to do them. We'll see you next week.

Speaker 2: 13:44

Are you ready to start living and enjoying your empty nest years? If so, head over to jasonramsdencom and click work with me to get the conversation started. This Empty Nest Life is a production of Impact One Media LLC. All rights reserved.