106. You're Not Just a Parent - It's Time to Rediscover Who You Truly Are

Feeling lost now that your nest has emptied? 

You’re not alone—but that silence in your home doesn’t have to be the end of your story. Instead, it can be the opening note to your most authentic chapter yet. 

In this transformative episode, we explore how major life changes—like empty nesting, career shifts, or personal reinvention—are rooted in who we want to become, not just how we’ll do it. 

Through relatable stories like Lisa, who questioned if binge-watching Netflix was her new purpose, and John, who believed he was “too old to start over,” we see how the stories we tell ourselves shape our experiences during these shifts.

What makes this approach different? It’s all about doing the inner work first. Before rushing into activities or projects, we examine the beliefs, fears, and identities that might be keeping us stuck. Guided by Carol Dweck’s research on mindset, we learn to shift from a fixed mindset (“I’m only a parent”) to a growth mindset (“Who can I become now?”).

You’ll get practical prompts to uncover limiting beliefs, embrace vulnerability as your strength, and celebrate small wins that propel you forward. Rediscover passions you shelved, and open the door to unexpected joy and purpose.

Remember George Eliot’s words: "It’s never too late to be what you might have been." Whether you’re navigating an empty nest or other life transitions, this episode will help you move from simply watching life unfold to actively directing your next chapter.

Download the free companion guide at bit.ly/whobeforehow and start your journey of rediscovery today. Your best self is waiting—are you ready to meet them?

Key Highlights & Takeaways:

• True transformation begins within—your beliefs, identity, and emotions set the foundation.
• Your emotional reactions are messages revealing the stories you tell yourself.
• Adopting a growth mindset opens doors to new possibilities.
• Vulnerability is essential—acknowledging fears creates space for growth.
• Small, intentional actions can lead to profound mindset shifts.
• Focus on the "who" before the "how" to build a sustainable, authentic future.
• Reinvention is accessible—anyone willing to believe in their potential.

Take the first step toward your next chapter—download the worksheet and start redefining your story today!

Chapters

• 0:00 Never Too Late To Reinvent Yourself
• 0:39 Navigating Life's Big Transitions
• 2:04 Lisa's Empty Nest Story
• 4:33 The Inner Work of Who
• 6:41 Susan's Reinvention Journey
• 8:09 Your Action Steps Forward
• 9:54 Episode Closing and Resources

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Remember, too, that reinvention isn't just for special people, it's for anyone willing to believe in possibility. And I truly believe in what George Eliot said it's never too late to be what you might have been. So if you're thinking, well, it's too late for me, remind yourself that it's never too late, ever.

Speaker 2: 0:21

Welcome to this Empty Nest Life. Join Jay Ramsden as he leads you on a transformative journey through the uncharted seas of midlife and empty nesting. If you're ready to embark on this new adventure and redefine your future, you're in the right place. Here's your host, the Empty Nest Coach, Jay Ramsden.

Speaker 1: 0:39

Hey there, my Empty Nest. Friends, today we're going to explore how to navigate life's big transitions, and if you're already empty nesting, you know it's a huge life transition. With a dash of mindset, a handful of courage and a whole lot of reinvention, we might be able to change that for you. Here's a simple but powerful idea I want to share with you today. Life transitions require us to focus on the who before the how. I know, I know what does that even mean, right? Well, it's how we go about working on understanding ourselves first, our beliefs, our identity, our emotions, so we can move forward with some clarity and confidence in this next chapter of our lives. With some clarity and confidence in this next chapter of our lives. Whether you're facing an empty nest, a divorce, a new job or any other life change, today's episode is designed to remind you that real transformation, real transformation starts from within. You can't look externally, not for validation or help or support, because the truth is life doesn't pause for us to get our act together. It pushes us to grow into new chapters of ourselves, new versions of ourselves, if we're willing to do the inner work. So let's explore how to do just that. You ready? Let's go. So in this first step. We're going to start with a story, maybe something that's relatable.

Speaker 1: 2:07

I want you to meet Lisa. She's in her mid-40s, a mother of three whose kids just left for college, and suddenly her house feels empty, seriously silent. She finds herself binge-watching Netflix, thinking this this is what my life has become Now. Lisa's feelings are common. She's experiencing a huge mix of emotions grief and guilt, fear, maybe even a little bit of excitement, like starting a brand new chapter, but also feeling a little unsure of what that looks like for her. Does that sound familiar? It just might be exactly what you've been experiencing, or perhaps what you might be experiencing this fall if you're a new empty nester. If so, let's take a moment to pause for some reflection. What emotions are you experiencing as you face your own transition? Take a moment to consider. How does it feel inside of you? What stories are you telling yourself about this change? I know from my own experience and journey that we can tell some pretty whopping stories about the changes we face in life, and so often it's not true, but rather the thoughts we're thinking about the change. Here's some insight. Our emotional reactions are messages from our inner world. They tell us what our stories we're holding on to. Now ask yourself what stories are you telling yourself that may be limiting yourself right now. For Lisa it was probably hey, I'm lost without my kids, or I'm just a part-time mom now. But here's the key your mindset totally shapes your experience.

Speaker 1: 3:48

Carol Dweck reminds us that a fixed mindset keeps us stuck in the story of well, I'm only this, while a growth mindset well that opens the door to possibility, asking who can I become in this next chapter and sometimes humor helps. Lisa may joke maybe I should start a Netflix series called who Am I Now? And that's a pretty light way to acknowledge her feelings. But underneath she's asking herself the big question who am I now, beyond this role of parent? So we start to look at the who, and here's the real secret. Before you move outward into what to do next, you need to do the inner work. You need to do your who work.

Speaker 1: 4:33

Now imagine john. He's in his late 50s, he's newly laid off his story I'm too old to start over and he's convinced maybe his best days are behind him. What stories would John be holding on to? What stories are you holding on to that may be keeping you stuck? Write down or think about those beliefs and how they're shaping your current experience. Are they true? Or are they just stories you've been telling yourself, says you know, let them see you brave. This teaches us that small, deliberate actions, like Mel's five-second rule, can dramatically shift your mindset. Instead of saying in the idea of I can't, john could start saying maybe I can try.

Speaker 1: 5:19

So ask yourself what's one small step you can take today to feel more in control of your own story. It could be making a phone call or journaling a new belief or simply saying I'm capable of change. You know, henry Ford said whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. And here's the key you have to be vulnerable in this journey. John admits you know I'm scared to fail, but he still pushes forward, and that honest acknowledgement is what makes his growth possible. It's what will make your growth possible as well. And let's remember, as much as we focus on the what, the who must come first, because a mindset rooted in possibility turns every failure into lessons. Sometimes, sometimes, we joke about being Netflix connoisseurs during tough times. I know I do, and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 6:10

But if you're ready to step into a new story, one where you are the main character, here's space to start thinking about what your next move might be. Think of it as upgrading from binge watcher to the director of your own life movie. What would your lifetime movie be? There's possibilities here. There's possibilities for reinvention, of course. Once you've done the emotional and mindset work, the who worked it's time to explore the exciting what's next, the reinvention part.

Speaker 1: 6:41

So meet Susan. Susan is in her late 50s. She's recently divorced, her kids are grown and her days, well, they felt like a quiet routine that she no longer wanted to hold on to. Instead of dwelling on what she lost, susan decided to pursue a passion she had shelved years ago painting. She bought a few supplies, she experimented with watercolors, shared her work online and entered into a local art show. Colors, shared her work online and entered into a local art show. Her story Well, she's reinventing herself, discovering new talents, new passions and a new identity.

Speaker 1: 7:16

Now take a moment to pause and reflect on your own journey. What new passions or interests might you want to emerge? Even a small step scheduling 10 minutes a day to explore can set you on a whole new path. Even a small step scheduling 10 minutes a day to explore can set you on a whole new path. In fact, setting tiny, achievable goals makes reinvention manageable.

Speaker 1: 7:33

I believe celebrating progress, not perfection, is super important. If you want to listen more on that, go to listen to episode 13. It's called Progress, not Perfection. You can learn a lot there. Remember, too, that reinvention isn't just for special people. It's for anyone willing to believe in possibility. And I truly believe in what George Eliot said it's never too late to be what you might have been. So if you're thinking, well, it's too late for me, remind yourself that it's never too late, ever.

Speaker 1: 8:08

So today I want to invite you into some action. I want to leave you with two very powerful items. The first is a question who do I want to be in this new chapter? And here are some prompts to help you work that out. What beliefs about yourself may no longer serve you? What beliefs or stories are you ready to rewrite? What small, brave step can you take towards this new person in this new chapter in life? And what's one thing you can do today that aligns with the person you want to become?

Speaker 1: 8:44

Remember, change begins from within. When you focus on the who before the how, it becomes clearer, more natural, more achievable. And if you're feeling a little overwhelmed, that's a really good sign, because growth starts at the edge of our comfort zones. Second, I've created a free downloadable for you to help with this episode. You can grab it from bitly forward slash who before how? So, as we wrap up today's episode, I want you to hold on to this. Your transition, whatever it may be, is the perfect opportunity to reinvent yourself, to rediscover the parts of you that have been waiting to come alive. Focus first on the who, your beliefs, your identity, your story and the how well that'll start to fall into place. And remember the mind is everything, what you think. You become Buddha. Thanks for spending some time with me today. I hope you leave here feeling maybe a little inspired and equipped and ready to take that next brave step. And until next time, keep moving forward, because your best self is waiting just on the other side of this transition.

Speaker 2: 9:54

Are you ready to start living and enjoying your empty nest years? If so, head over to jasonramsdencom and click work with me to get the conversation started. This Empty Nest Life is a production of Impact. One Media LLC. All rights reserved.