My Mental Health Journey and How Therapy Has Helped Me

This episode discusses the transformative journey of embracing therapy and mental health. The host shares his personal experiences with panic attacks, the stress of corporate life, and the vital lessons learned through therapy on establishing boundaries, vulnerability, and self-acceptance. 
• Exploring personal encounters with panic attacks 
• The impact of stress on mental health and well-being 
• The essential role of therapy in personal growth 
• Navigating feelings of invisibility in professional settings 
• Establishing boundaries to protect mental health 
• Understanding different types of therapy and therapists 
• The link between mental, emotional, and physical health 
• Breaking the stigma around seeking help and vulnerability 
• Recognizing therapy as vital maintenance for mental health

Let's stay connected - linktr.ee/blackmenembracingfeelings 

Transcript

Men's Mental Health and Therapy

Speaker 1 0:00

Yo yo yo. Welcome to another episode of the Black Men Embracing Feelings Podcast. As always, I definitely want to appreciate you for tuning in. Don't take it lightly. I don't take your attention for granted. So, as always, I pray that something is said here is informative, that it helps you along your journey, that you feel inspired, you feel motivated to just continue to be the best man that you can be. Don't give up on yourself, man. Don't give up on the vision, the goals and the things that you have before you. So in this episode I kind of want to talk a little bit more personally about myself in regards to those areas of why I saw therapy, why I chose the career to become a therapist and, lastly, I want to hopefully provide you with those tools that you find helpful, you know, if you're on a journey of, you know, seeking your own therapist, because therapy, to me, is not a trend, it's not something that we can just check the box and say that we did right. Therapy is something that is real, is important. It is essential, just as our doctors are essential, that we go to our primary care physician right like, just like our dentist is essential, right even. Just like our pastors are essential. Mental health therapists are essential as well to just your overall development, growth, being um and care and care.

Speaker 1 1:23

So you know, for me, when I, you know, first got into therapy, I didn't know what to expect, to be honest with you. The reason why I got into therapy I think I was probably about 26 or 27. And at that age, you know what I mean I'm still fairly young, right, I'm still fairly young now. But at that age of like 26, 27 is when I had my first panic attack. And the way that it happened was that I was in the car driving back from, you know, just celebrating with my friends, just out, having a good time. It was his birthday. So I'm driving from New York back to Delaware. So it was about like a two hour drive. It's not too bad, not too crazy, right. So on that drive back, I hit the road probably about like eight o'clock at night, so expecting to get back home about 10. Long story short, I didn't get back home until about three or so in the morning Because on this drive I started to experience some tingling sensations.

Speaker 1 2:29

I started to experience some tightness in my chest. I felt like the walls were closing in type of feeling, even though I'm driving. So I was just like, all right, let me just turn the music up, you know what I mean, just switch my mind. I said I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to be all right, I ain't trying to spook myself while I got this like two hour drive. So try to roll the window down to keep me alert, keep me awake, things of that nature.

Speaker 1 2:51

But for whatever it is, I couldn't overcome those sensations or those symptoms or those feelings Like my chest is tightening up, it's hard for me to breathe, my body is just shaking, you know, just randomly, I don't know what it is. So I pulled over and I'm like, all right, let me walk into this, you know the rest stop area, let me just walk around, let me just walk this off, whatever this is, and started doing that. But then it didn't catch right, like nothing changed, so like it really just started getting worse to the point where I called the ambulance. I called the ambulance to come to a rest stop. When they got there, it was just like I can't breathe, right, I'm having trouble breathing, I feel like my body is just shaking, like I can't control it. And then, once the ambulance got there I'm making this decision right. It's just like, well, I don't want to pay for this. That's going through my head. They're like do you want to, because of course you know voluntary right. Like, do you want us to take you to the ER, where you'd be all right? So I'm like, let me make this decision real quick. I don't want the cost of it. I think I'll be fine.

Speaker 1 3:59

But before I even said those words of I think I'll be fine, it's like my body just started OD shaking right To the point where it just went into full panic mode. So they put me in an ambulance, rushed me to the hospital. So I'm in the hospital, come to find out my blood pressure was crazy high. My blood pressure was about like 150. And again I'm like 26, 27, fairly in good shape. You know what I mean. And again, I'm like 26, 27, fairly in good shape. You know what I mean. So I'm just like I don't know what's going on. I'm about to die. Exams just to make sure that there was nothing wrong with the heart. So EKG, all of that kind of stuff, nothing wrong with the heart Got the blood work. The blood work was fine. At the end of the day, everything came back fine.

Speaker 1 4:58

But one of the things that the doctor asked was are you under a lot of stress? And I'm like, absolutely Right, like I'm working in corporate, been in there for about four, four or five years at this point, working in corporate, working my working crazy hours. You know what I mean. I remember on Christmas Eve I'm working late, right. So I'm working crazy hours in corporate America, constantly stressed. You know what I mean. You know being the first person in the office, last person to leave the office in there before sunrise out, you know what I mean where the sun is set. So it's like I'm constantly working, I'm constantly putting myself under stress. And that's when he said it's just like you know you had a panic attack. You know what I mean. Your panic attacks come from stress. Right, it comes from stress. Do you find yourself constantly worried about work? Do you find yourself constantly worried about the future and things of that nature?

Speaker 1 6:03

Having a panic attack pretty much started my mental health journey and again, at this time, it's not like I can call my mom, call my pops or anybody in my family, there's just like I can refer back to. That has a history of this. Mind you, I grew up in a church, right. So spirituality is big right. We count on religion, we count on scriptures. If you got a problem, take it to the Lord in prayer, right? Like I sung in the choir growing up before I hit puberty. You know what I mean, but I was the best alto out there and then eventually went down to tenor, then eventually went down to bass and then I just settled on my calling. I'm a drummer at heart, so I just stayed there. That's my lane. Singing is no longer my ministry. I tried it, it was great, but I retired gracefully Let me retire on top at least.

Speaker 1 6:45

So it was just like whether it's how can I go throughout my day to be better and see better days? I'll go to scripture, I'll go to my religion, I'll go to my faith to keep me in a good mood. So, again, it's not like I can go back to any of my friends or family and just try to make sense of me having a panic attack. So that's what really sparked my mental health journey and as I talk with my therapist, he pretty much you know, of course dived into my life and things like that. And it was just like, you know, panic attacks they come from anxiety, right, and then also diving a little bit deeper. It's just like there were some depression that you've been feeling as well, because I always haven't been feeling my best self and working in corporate.

Speaker 1 7:31

It's just like one of those things like how do we cope after a long day? You go to a happy hour. We couldn't wait to go to a happy hour. We couldn't wait to go out to drink, drinking, our problems away, clubs going up on a Tuesday. You know what I mean. So it's just like all of those things was my way of coping, and that's also one of the things that the doctor said to me as well. It's like have you been drinking? And it's like I have. And it's like drinking is one of those things that elevates your blood pressure and it's just like yo, I'm not thinking about that. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 8:00

So it's just like the ways that I coped with my stress contributed to those health factors such as an anxiety attack. And it's the mental. So it's just like understanding how much the mind impacts the body, right, as well as impacting how you show up, but it's also you know how your circumstances around you you know what I mean Impacts your body, impacts your mind, impacts your emotional and your mental health. So I really didn't understand that until I had my first panic attack. And another thing that you know my therapist you know, was just pointing out to me was just the many responsibilities that you know I had. So not only was I involved in a church, not only did I, put you know, a lot of hours at my job, not only was I involved in the community. One of the things that he quickly pointed out was like yo, you always on right, like when is there a time for you to take a break? And I'm like, bro, it's not, like it's not. Many times I feel like I could take a break. I was on. I always felt also, too, as if at work especially, I had to be on Right.

Speaker 1 9:08

And it's one of the things with with black men that we experienced a lot, especially in the corporate setting. And I will say truthfully, a lot of minorities, especially speaking to black women and black men, is that we often feel invisible, right? I remember getting passed over for job promotions and my manager was telling me it was just like yo, you doing the work that's hands down. Everybody raves about the work that you're doing, but they don't know you. So what do you mean? They don't know me, right? I feel invisible, because for me to get passed over and people to say that they don't know me yet, I'm like my work will speak for itself.

Speaker 1 9:42

We're not always taught that right. You know, just in a corporate setting, which is work in general, we're brought up of, do the work, put your head down, you know things will come to you. You know we're not always equipped about the importance of networking. We're not always equipped about the importance of, you know, just engaging socially. What we often say is like I ain't here to make friends, bro, I'm just here to work, right? So it's just like a lot of the pressures that I allowed myself to fall to and fall under really started to impact me.

Speaker 1 10:18

I was always the one to give. Man, I'll give the shirt off my back in a hot second man. You know what I mean. I would give so much to where it's my last dollar, right, but yet I would get a call. If somebody else needs it, I would give it. It got to the point, man, I was one of those that if I have food in my house, I'll give it to you, and I'd be like don't worry about me, I'll figure it out. Right, and that was always my thing, I'll figure it out, and have I? Absolutely Right, but did I always like it? No, did those decisions add to my stress? Absolutely Right, but that just showed the weakness and the boundaries that I had.

Navigating Growth and Identity Through Therapy

Speaker 1 10:54

That contributed again to my mental health Me not being able to say no because of the fear of what others may think about me, but also, too, because of the heart that I had is that I didn't want anybody else to go without, even if it was a detriment to myself. Right, that sounds noble, but it's not always the healthiest thing to do, right, and that goes back to the saying, like it's hard to give from an empty cup. So one of the things that my therapist told me was, just like givers give and takers take, man, and, as a giver, it's important for you to establish boundaries around your heart, to establish a boundary around how you give, that's how you are taken advantage of, right, like giving 98% of yourself to others is noble, right, it's noble and it's altruistic, but to what extent, though, is it really detrimental and one of the main contributors to why we feel, sometimes how we feel, and then, on top of that, without those healthy boundaries in place, there's a lot of resentment that starts to add up as well. Resentment towards the people that you're speaking to and saying the words hey, I got you right. Towards the people that you're speaking to and saying the words hey, I got you right. But secretly beholding resentment towards those people because you know why are you always calling me with something that you need and not even asking me, yo bro, how you doing Right? Like why are you always calling me and telling me thank you for this or you need that, but at the same time, you're not you know what I mean refilling my cup or reciprocating that right? So, as givers, one of the things my therapist pointed out is that we have to establish those healthy boundaries Right.

Speaker 1 12:25

So growing up, I've always been that strong one. I've always been that voice of reason. I've always had to at least I felt, you know what I mean Like I always had to give, and that's one of the things that we brought up. You know. That was taught to me in the church, of course. Right to give and I'm not saying there's an issue. You know that we shouldn't give at our core, but it's understanding that you can give with boundaries. And sometimes our overgiving also enables others to where our no unlocks the key to their level of accountability and our no unlocks the key to them strengthening those characteristics and those skill sets that they actually do need, right for them to be the best them. But the more that we keep giving in a sense that enables them, the more we're actually hindering and hurting their progress and development, right? So these are the things that I had to learn going through therapy. Right that I had to unlearn some things and just relearn different ways. Right that I had to unlearn some things and just relearn different ways.

Speaker 1 13:25

And also, too, is that my, my way of helping people doesn't always have to be me physically paying for something or me physically giving something. The way that you give doesn't always have to be the way that people ask for it, right? So if you're asking me for money and I give you an opportunity to make money, right, and you deny that because you want the actual money, you can't get mad at me. I gave you a resource, I gave you a tool, because the reality is I don't have the money to give you, but I can give you something else. And if you get mad at me for denying that resource instead of the actual thing, then that's on you, right. But I have to establish that boundary because, again, if I'm giving something that I don't have right, Like, that's putting me in a deeper hole. So, again, there's just many things that I have to learn in therapy. Man Then also too, which is growing up, just growing up, I've always felt isolated, right.

Speaker 1 14:22

I've always felt looked over. They knew a surface level of me, but they didn't know the deeper me. Because the times that I felt like I wanted to open up, as if they didn't care, right. So the moment that people will ask you, hey, how you doing? And I tried to express, and they'd be like, oh, you'll be all right, and I'm like, no, but I'm not all right, right. So I felt that it's like a dismissal of how I'm actually doing and how I actually feel. Or it's just those things that are often heard. It's like, joe, yeah, we never have to worry about you, because you always figured it out. And then sometimes I take that as a hit because it's just like, but I didn't know how to figure it out. I felt like I had to figure it out of survival, you know what I mean, right.

Speaker 1 15:10

So I dealt with a lot of loneliness. I dealt with a lot of feelings of being misunderstood, feelings of being overlooked, right, and also, too, growing up realizing, like I dealt with a lot of social anxiety. I'm shy, I'm reserved, I don't always say the right things in social settings. I always haven't mastered, you know, that act of socializing. That act of socializing therapy revealed how. You know what I mean. Like I've always been in this survival mode, Always just wanted to get out of my neighborhood. You know what I mean Not settling in my neighborhood, and again, it's not to say like I grew up, you know, just wild and crazy. It wasn't anything like that.

Speaker 1 15:50

But some of the things that I've been exposed to and that I've seen, it was just like. I know that there's something different out there, but when we started unpacking things, it was just so much more outside of work that you know what I mean just overwhelmed me. It's just like how to survive in America, especially as a Black man. It's just like it's hard. It's hard to see our Black brothers and sisters on TV being murdered. It's hard to.

Speaker 1 16:19

And again, there's things that we don't talk about but we definitely feel and that's why, when I started to look at therapy, I wanted to connect with a Black man and my time of going you know, going to therapy, I specifically saw the black man because it's you know, I needed that sense of identity man. I needed to talk to someone that I felt could see me right, that could understand me and have an understanding of the experiences of being a black man, of having the understanding of the pressures of being a Black man. Right, having an understanding of the weight of being the provider, but not always feeling like you're getting an equal opportunity to have access to ways that you can provide. Right, it's a feeling as if you have to work a thousand times harder than your coworkers and your peers. And I'm over here training somebody you know what I mean that's now about to become my manager, right, or seeing someone get a promotion, but that same one is the one that's always coming to me right, having to experience that and I can't say, oh, that's the race car. Right, because it's not going to be seen that way, it's not going to be said to me that way, but I can feel it because I'm one of the few Black people on my floor, mind you, where I used to work at. So who's going to understand that? Who can I express that to, right? So that's one of the things that I appreciated about therapy is that the space that it gave me to be me, to be open, to be vulnerable, to take my mask off and let somebody in to understanding me a little bit more so that I can, most importantly, understand myself little bit more. So that I can, most importantly, understand myself. Because, again, that's one of the things too like.

Speaker 1 18:37

I placed a lot of pride on me having the answers or me figuring it out, because I had to, to the point where it became hard for me to trust my own judgment, to trust my own decision-making, right. It became overwhelming to just navigate my own daily thoughts when I found myself oftenly confused. You know what I mean Depleted, defeated. You know just feeling down, right, it's just like what is there to life and that's one of the things that we experienced and broke down as well too is that when you feel like you're going through those moments of depression, my therapist told me it's just like, yeah, there are suicidal thoughts that come with it. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're going to act upon it, right.

Speaker 1 19:25

And then just having these dreams and having these desires and having these goals and how to fulfill them. And how to fulfill them I appreciate my therapist telling me and trying and putting it this way is that when you try to build up, you know what I mean, just vertical. All you do is go to work. You know what I mean. Come home, just do those things over and over and repeat. It's easy to see that success. But when you build something that's greater than yourself, that's purpose for the community, that's purpose for others, it's going to take a while and it's like building a pyramid. You first have to expand and lay the foundation and then you start to narrow your focus at each layer and each level until you get to that top of that pyramid. So success in that manner is going to take time of that pyramid. So success in that manner is going to take time.

Speaker 1 20:14

And often we see others that, whether through social media or just our peers thinking that they made it overnight. And some, if they only focused on one thing and that was it and they made it fast, bless them. But if you feel like you're working on various different things that has a larger goal outside of yourself, things that has a larger goal outside of yourself. He encouraged me to be patient with that because it's going to take time right. So therapy wasn't just a I need help, I'm broken, I need to be fixed, kind of thing for me. But therapy was also that wise counsel, you know, that encouragement. So those are the things that I appreciated about my therapy and my therapist.

Speaker 1 20:59

And not only did I have a male therapist, I actually switched to a female therapist, and the purpose of that switch was it was after a relationship that I had where, you know, I didn't show my best self man, and, truth be told, I was the villain in that story and I'm not afraid to admit that, because that's me taking accountability for my actions, for my ways. Because I wasn't my best self. You know what I mean. I was under extreme pressures, I was under extreme stress, I was going through depression, I was going through so many different things. That's not an excuse at all, but I wasn't honest with what I was experiencing.

Speaker 1 21:40

Because I wasn't honest with what I was experiencing, I wasn't honest to my partner at that time on who I was actually and what I was experiencing and going through through one so that I can either receive the help that she could have provided me with or, on top of that, that, I could have truthfully said that the representative of me the representative of me that you like and that, you see, you know what I mean. Don't be fooled by, because the person that's driving this right now is not the best man that you would want. So those are some hard things that I had to accept. So getting a female therapist was a way for me to just understand the emotional side of me, like the male therapist that I sought helped me understand that masculine side of me, helped me shape my identity at my core. You know of who I am, of who I'm striving to be, of who I want to be, especially that shows up in the world. But my female therapist helped me understand that feminine side of me, that more emotionally available side of me, because I'll be honest with you, man, my heart is behind a brick wall, but in front of that brick wall there's not only some tanks but some landmines as well. So it's tough to get to my center. But working with her helped unlock that for me. It helped unlock that for me.

The Importance of Therapy for Men

Speaker 1 23:17

But I have to take accountability and I'm not happy of how I got there and the impact and the damage that it had to others along the way, myself to be humble and to be grateful for growth, and I thank therapy for that. And in no way am I not counting God's grace Absolutely. It's because of God's grace that I was able to identify therapists to help me in my journey to be the better man and be the best man that I can be to those I encounter, because I'm a representative of the God that I serve as well to those I encounter because I'm a representative of the God that I serve as well. So that's kind of been my journey with therapy, and the reasons why I got into therapy is to share those same tools, not only that I received from my therapist, but to gain the actual tools and the knowledge and the words to help name what it is that we're experiencing. Like I wouldn't have known what I was experiencing at that time was a panic attack, right, without those therapeutic tools and concepts and words, right? Yes, I help people and have always been that one to help people. But now I have the vocabulary to provide people with an explanation and understanding of what it is that they're actually experiencing, but as well as giving hope and an understanding that the things that you're experiencing doesn't necessarily mean that you're broken, right, and that those self-defeating thoughts that you're hearing doesn't mean that that's true, that there is ways to go through what it is that we're going through. Right, there's healthy ways of going through, and that my drinking at the time, with these happy hours, was a main contributor to those anxious and depressive thoughts and moments that I had that also led up to the panic attack. Right, it's because of understanding these healthier coping mechanisms. I can now implement healthy habits such as working out drinking water. You know what I mean. Definitely prioritizing sleep. Right.

Speaker 1 25:23

How we take care of our body is important, and it doesn't have to be a separation of spirituality and therapy. Right, because the scriptures, you know, mentions and speaks to your body being like a temple. Right, and the importance of taking care of your body as if it's a temple. So being mindful of what you do as well as what you eat. So you honor your body, you honor your temple, and then your temple and your body will take care of you. Right, so it doesn't have to be a separation between you know what I mean between spirituality and therapy. So these are some of the things that I just wanted to express from my own personal experiences, but also encourage you that therapy works. So I want to talk a little bit about attending therapy and how to go about therapy Because, again, attending therapy doesn't necessarily mean that you're crazy, it doesn't mean that you're weak, it doesn't mean that you're incapable of handling what's in front of you.

Speaker 1 26:18

Honestly, it takes a lot more strength to attend therapy and to be vulnerable and to be open and admit that you do need help, that you do need assistance. Right, it takes more strength to be vulnerable to say that I don't have all the answers. Be vulnerable to say that I don't have all the answers. I don't. We experience a lot of pressures to have all the answers. Right, we experience a lot of pressures to have the plan, to have the vision right To come through.

Speaker 1 26:47

So for men to open up and say I don't have all the answers, bro, that takes a lot of strength, man, that takes a lot of strength and courage. Right, because what you're doing is that you're moving out of your own way, because that fear and that potential shame that comes with it is paralyzing and it's overwhelming. It drives a man insane, right? So it's getting out of your way and admitting that, yo, I don't have the answers. But the thing is that you're doing what's necessary to get it and that makes the difference. You're not faking it. You're not trying to be someone else, that you're not. You accept that you're not immune to trials and tribulations right. You accept that you're not immune to difficulties, to having moments of uncertainty right, and that you can use the help and you're willing to capitalize on the help and the resources out there. But that takes a lot more strength and courage than we give people credit for. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1 27:46

We got to get past thinking that we have all the answers and we don't, or that if you don't have the answers then you're dumb Right? Let's change those narratives, man Like. That's not the truth, because there's so many men out here. If only they would have stopped and sought some help, their life would be different. If only they would have actually listened and taken advice, their life could have been different. Their decision-making could have been different, could have been different, right? But we pride ourselves with I'm the man, so I got the answers. I'm the man. Can't, nobody correct me. I'm the man. Nah, bro. Come on, man, let's be honest with ourselves. Let's hold ourselves accountable, right. And if what it takes is for you to say that you don't know and to get the help that you need so that you can know, that's called being smart, right, that's wisdom. That's wisdom. So getting counseling, or just getting that guidance from a professional counselor right, it's a healthy and wise decision to help make sure that you don't lose sight of your health as you go through life, that you don't lose sight of yourself, so that you can stay present and present your best self in your relationships, in your work.

Speaker 1 29:03

Have the tools to help us manage our anger. We have the tools to help us manage our frustrations. We have the tools to help us you know what I mean express ourselves in better ways, communicate in better ways, right? So, just like we go to our doctors for our physical health, just like we go to pastors and religious leaders for our spiritual health, we go to therapists and professionals for our mental and emotional health. Right, which connects us to how we function spiritually and physically as well. So they are interconnected. They really are Like our mental and our emotional health impacts our spiritual health as well as impacts our physical health, right. And again, it's when we experience depression, when we experience anxiety, we experience that in our bodies, right, we experience just those stress headaches when we experience that sickness in our stomach, those queasy feelings, right, those are also signs of our mental and emotional health. So it's all interconnected, man.

Speaker 1 30:02

So I liken going to a therapist. Just like the maintenance on your car right, we get our routine oil checks, you know what I mean. We get our routine tire rotations, right. Therapy doesn't have to mean that I can't handle this day so I need somebody. Therapy, like our sessions that I have with my clients, it's not always bad and I tell them we don't always have to talk about the worst parts of your story, right, that's heavy sometimes. This space here so we can laugh, right, because what you're about to go back home to you can't laugh, right. Sometimes this space here is just so you can breathe and take your mask off and just, you know what I mean. Stay a while, because what you have to go back out to, right, it's hard.

Speaker 1 30:51

So coming to therapy is that opportunity for you to be recharged, to be revived, to be restored, to be encouraged, to be uplifted. You know what I mean. It's not always about you know. Let me see who I can make cry Like no, I'm not trying to do that, I don't want to do that.

Speaker 1 31:06

That doesn't always signal that you're being healed. It doesn't. That's not how therapy works. That's not how it should work, right? I am not here to make another man cry, I'm not. But I'm here to encourage you that this is a safe space, that if you want to cry, you can, because the world around you doesn't give you that permission to cry, right? The individuals around you doesn't give you that permission to feel your feelings or validate how you feel. Sometimes your spouse or your partners, or whether it be your friends or even your children, doesn't give you that space so that you can show the cracks that's in your armor. We feel like we have to wear our cape every day.

Speaker 1 31:47

The therapy space, that room is so that you can breathe, so again, that's why a therapist is important to have in your rotation as you look to take care of yourself, and therapy helps create a safe space right for you to be present in your authenticity, where you can be your best as well as your worst self, without judgment, because one of the hardest things for us to do is to look in our mirror that's composed of all our broken pieces. Right is to look in our mirror. That's composed of all our broken pieces, right. You know our life in review, consisting of all the joys and the pains, the goods and the past, and still say with humility that we love the person we're looking at. We always don't, right. We barely sometimes know who the person is.

Speaker 1 32:31

That's on the other side of that reflection, and this is hard to do, because it's easier to overlook certain areas. It's easier to look past our stress. It's easier to look past our pains. It's easy to overlook the hurt we've caused others or the hurt that others have caused us. Move forward in a healed way instead of moving forward in a way that we just ignore, and this isn't only for the things that we've done, but the things that were done to us, again, personally and even vicariously.

Speaker 1 33:08

One of the things that Maya Angelou has mentioned is that we don't forget how people make us feel. We may forget what they say, say, but we don't forget how they, how they, made us feel. So therapy provides insight into the areas of our life that we may often keep hidden, you know, that are played by hurt, that that that are, that are often. You know those stains that we have in our lives. So therapy is real, man, it needed, it's definitely needed in our lives. So I encourage you, man, and if you don't have one, I encourage you to find one right, find one, and sometimes it's hard With therapy. I encourage you that, if you are going to experience one and give it about three sessions because the first session is really just the intake, it's the intro, right, and it might sound like it's a formal doctor's visit to really understand a little bit of who you are, what you're experiencing, what you're going through those types of things and just getting that important information about yourself, right. And maybe session two or three you really get an opportunity to dive into, as the therapist too is still trying to get to know you Right. So give it about two or three sessions to really see if one that therapist in front of you is the fit that you want right. And also, too, is just think carefully about the type of therapist that you want, right, if you want a male therapist or if you want a woman therapist, understanding you know the things that you may need at that time.

Speaker 1 34:34

And, like I mentioned, like my first therapist was a male therapist and I went to the male therapist because I needed that wise counsel of just my identity as a man, right, like I graduated from college not too long ago. You know what I mean. I'm early into my professional career in corporate America. I'm trying to figure this out Like it was. It was different. So it's just like how do I navigate this world at this age, experiencing this right? So how do I maintain my sanity, how do I maintain my identity right, as I'm experiencing all these things for the first time? It's I'm a young black man in America. It's hard, right, it's difficult. So keep in mind you know what I mean, what it is that you're looking for.

Speaker 1 35:18

And again, my second therapist was a woman because I was failing at relationships. Right, I was failing at relationships and I wasn't open and I wasn't being vulnerable. I was missing the mark. You know what I mean. I didn't know how to express myself. I didn't know how to express my feelings and my emotions. It's hard to get to me, it's hard to get close to me. So understand the things that you are looking for and that you want and that you desire and that you want to work on and going through psychology today.

Speaker 1 35:46

In psychology today, the professionals have bios about themselves. You have an opportunity to reach out to those individuals and seek consultations, if they can give, which is like a 15-minute introduction, or just do the first session, right, there's also different types of therapists out there. So, again, going back to what is it you're experiencing or that you want to go through. So there's marriage and family therapy right, there's counselors. If you want to work on relationships, if you want to do couples counseling, whether you're married or not, right, you can seek out a marriage and family therapist.

Speaker 1 36:25

Right, there's also sex therapists that's out there as well, and this is not just how to improve you know what I mean your sex game, anything like that, right. Like, if there is difficulties or challenges in regards to intimacy, right, you can go to sex therapy. But if also there is sexual trauma, you can go to sex therapy. If there's disabilities or if there's things with the body that makes sex difficult or just want to learn different ways of intimacy, right, like, that's that's sex therapy. There's different categories in that. There's addictions counseling, there's career counseling, there's trauma counseling Um, there's different categories of therapists out there, um, that you can utilize and um, the last thing, oh yeah, um, talking about the cost of therapy.

Speaker 1 37:17

Therapy can be expensive. If you feel that the cost of therapy is a barrier, ask the therapist or the practice that you're looking to work with if they take your insurance. And if they don't take your insurance, definitely ask them, if there's an out-of-pocket cost, what that is. Some therapists offer a sliding scale. Some therapists can go pro bono, which means that the sessions are free. So don't eliminate yourself from seeking therapy because you believe that it's too expensive. At least try and ask or, depending on your job. Your job has EAP, right, see, if your job has EAP, which is Employee Assistance Program, and you may be able to get a few sessions for free through your job. You know some come in the form of five, six, eight. You know it depends. So if, especially if you're experiencing stress at the job, right, you can go through EAP to seek therapy, to seek counseling, or ask your primary practitioner if they have any referrals for therapists. The resources are out there.

Speaker 1 38:23

Last and important thing, man, social media is not your therapist. The internet is not your therapist. Please don't self-diagnose yourself with anything. And because you hear something on social media and you hear it trending a lot, you know what I mean, before you start to say, hey, this is it, this is that person, or this is what they were doing or this diagnosis matches, get that confirmation from a professional please, because that is the only way to know for sure and to have those conversations right. Let's not just throw out diagnosis because we've seen them trending online or you know what I mean. Reread it right, like talk to professionals that can help you. Don't self-diagnose yourself and self-treat yourself in ways that aren't healthy. Again, my hope and my prayer is that this was informational, that this was encouraging, and if you haven't started your mental health journey and this sparks you to do so, brother, I encourage you, man, keep it going. I hope this was helpful and, until next time, looking forward to hearing and talking to you soon. All right, y'all take care.