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Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Differently is for when you need to get out of your head and back into your life.
Created and hosted by Carla Reeves, creator of The Differently Journal, her work is built on over 20 years of helping people use writing to navigate real life. Not as a habit to keep up with, but as a way to calm your mind, get clear, and move forward.
You are always writing your life, whether it’s in your mind or on paper.
It's time to take the pen back.
Turn overthinking and self doubt into clarity, confidence, creativity and momentum.
Stop surviving your life. Start creating it.
Differently: Stop living by default. Start living by design.
Lighten Up with Holiday Manning
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What happens when you invite humor into everyday life? Things lighten up! Holiday has a special gift of honoring the reality and hardship in life while knowing exactly when to lob something funny into the moment to break the ice and lighten the air.
Today she joins me to talk about life, humor and lightening up, but she also gives us a beautiful peek into how she navigates being present in her own life, how humbling herself in her career has had great rewards and the simple ways she keeps her cup full so that she can manage the many things on her plate during this season of her life.
You are going to love her. Enjoy!
Learn more about Holiday at: https://www.solijewelry.com/
Connect with Holiday on IG: https://www.instagram.com/solijewelry/
Find Holiday on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/holidaymanning/
Learn more about Carla: https:/www.carlareeves.com/
Connect on IG: https://www.instagram.com/carlasreeves/
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Published: Mar. 11, 2021 @ 3AM Edit
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Thank you for listening!
I'm Carla Reeves, and this is Differently, a podcast where we explore the ins and outs of what becomes possible when we're willing to think, do, and show up differently to the moments of our everyday lives. Today I'm talking to Holiday Manning. Holiday's a mom of two beautiful, incredible girls. She's a jewelry designer, she's a jeweler, she repairs jewelry, she's a silversmith, she's a creative entrepreneur at heart, and she's the founder of Soli Jewelry. And we've been friends for 16-ish years. We met when our kids were babies, and we've been through a lot of ups, downs, and in-betweens over the years. And we we share a love of our families and we share a love of entrepreneurship and deep conversation and good coffee. And she's the friend I call when I'm freaking out because I've got to give a presentation and I haven't slept good the last three nights, and I've got bags under my eyes. And she tells me to put on some big sparkly, dangly earrings that it'll distract everybody. Everybody needs a holiday. Holiday, welcome to differently.
SPEAKER_00Oh man, my eyes are crying already. Hi, thank you.
SPEAKER_01So excited you're here. Excited to dive into conversation with you. And Paul, I don't know if you know it, but you're someone in my life who always brings that good dose of humor to the most unexpected moments. And just like I described, I might feel desperate in a moment, and you have this ability to lob something funny into the conversation that just cracks everything open, like lightens the entire mood, reminds me to not take myself and life so seriously, and that I'm gonna get through it. And not only am I gonna get through it, but I'm gonna get through it laughing and a little bit lighter. So I'm so excited to share you with the listeners, and I want to know how does humor play a role in your life and when did this start?
SPEAKER_00Honestly, I don't know. You know, I'm a I'm a weird combo, you know, like I'm I take things very seriously, I'm very serious about uh a lot of aspects of my life, but you know, I'm also one of those people where you know life can be like super heavy. And so having fun is a way to get through super heavy stuff and like enjoy it or like put like some joy into it. And so I don't know if that's like a usual way of handling things, but that's what's good for me. It's like, you know, at work in life, like in relationships, like you know, like sometimes you have you know super serious stuff going on, but if you can like, you know, look at things from a higher perspective, find something funny in it, like it kind of jiggles up the seriousness and the heaviness, and um sometimes makes a little room for a new perspective. And I don't know if everybody deals with things like that. Not that I think heavy stuff should be laughed at or made made like um made to be not serious, like I I understand that there's layers to things, but sometimes the most inappropriate thing that you can say makes everyone uncomfortable enough to like laugh about it. And if you can laugh and I can laugh and we can laugh at the heaviness of the situation, I don't it can bring a new perspective. So I don't know if that answered your question, but that's kind of what I was thinking.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I love that. It was actually in thinking about our conversation, I was looking up some things that humor and laughter from a science perspective, like it literally creates stress release, it it releases endorphins that allow us to relax. It is a natural pain reliever, it increases brain activity and actually boosts our immune system. And I think it does you, I know you bring that to your workplace, and you know, people just lighten up around you in the midst of really stressful stuff. And I love that you said, you know, it's not about I don't ever feel like you diminish what's actually happening or um, like there's always you always bring a respect for the feelings or the emotions of what is happening? It's never to diminish that, but when you lighten it, there's a greater ability to talk about it and release it and move through it. So is that something that has been a tool in your life? And do you, I'm curious as a mom, do you and the girls like, is that a part of motherhood for you and your relationship with your girls?
SPEAKER_00Oh, yes, man. Like, um, are you kidding me? Like, I'm a sassy girl myself. So I raised two sassy girls, and by sassy, I mean, you know, spirited and sarcastic and funny and deep, and those are my kids, and that's who I am too. So yeah, I try to create a situation with my kids that you know they can come to me with anything. And recently, actually, my daughter said, Mom, I need to tell you something super important, but I need you to be my friend right now, not my mother. And you know, as a parent, of course, you want to be your kids' friend, but I've I'm their mother first, and they know that. So that's why she felt like she had to like tell me that, you know. Um, of course, the mother aspect of things sneaked in there, but I try to be gentle with them and I try to be funny and you know, like let them know that well, and and you and all my people, you know, it's like I it's just sometimes it's like you need wisdom, you need um a friend, you need a soft place to land, and um and then also after you have that, sometimes you need a little fun because you know, like when we're in a place where we need a soft place to land, sometimes that feels like heavy and burdensome and like kind of slumpy or whatever. And so, you know, a little giggle here and there in the slump is good. And actually, while you were describing like all those, the definition of like you know, the science behind laughter and like that kind of thing, I was thinking about so Carla and I have an inside joke, and I'm gonna I'm gonna share right now, Carla. Like, I know this is your thing, but like I'm gonna just tell them about you. So her and I really do have deep conversations. We kind of go to the depths of like stuff, like literally, like I don't have any secrets from her, and I don't feel like she has any secrets from me. And you know, sometimes we have these deep conversations, and how it goes off the rails, and what she means by laughing is you know, sometimes like um, I'm just gonna give an example. So I have no idea what you're gonna say. I know, I know the clog. Um I'm telling them about the clog, so you know, so you know, sometimes, well, through this pandemic specifically, I have felt definite resistance in my life, right? And what I mean by resistance is like you try to like you're trying so hard to do something, and it's like not working, and like, you know, like oh, like no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I push, like it's not working. We sort of had this funny conversation. I don't even remember what we were talking about at the time, but it's like you have a clog in your intestines, you know, and you're trying to release. And then, you know, it went to bathroom humor and got really funny, but now it's like, you know, like how do you release the clog? Like, how do you, you know, get more fiber in your diet and like release those emotional things that are binding you up? And so it's kind of silly, but it's a funny way of expressing how you feel, which everyone can relate to, you know? Totally. And how often do we feel like we have a clog in our life, like things just won't move, and making peace with the clog, you know, and dealing with the gurgling, the aching, the elastic waistband clothing that you have to wear, and like you know, like it's a whole thing. So this is exactly what I was talking about.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I love that. I love that. See, it just lightens the whole thing. A clog can feel so dark and gloomy, and but when you bring bathroom humor into it, it changes the whole perspective.
SPEAKER_00Exactly, exactly.
SPEAKER_01I love that. There's a quote uh by Mark Twain that says, I lived a long and arduous life, and 90% of it never happened. So what is that? What does that mean to you?
SPEAKER_00Uh to me, when you are saying that, it means that a lot of that is our thoughts. It's our perception of what's going on and our resistance to it. And you know, that's not being present, that's being in your mind somewhere else, internally having an argument about the situation or like a a complaint or a just a non-acceptance of what's right now in the moment. Like that's what I mean. And I'm guilty of that. Like, I'm a I'm an Aquarius, I'm an air sign, I intellectualize everything, and I can really like sift through the meat of things, but I can also know when I am um experienced in the clog mentally, because I can I know I've I can recognize in myself when I'm resisting. Does that make sense? Like, I know you and I have had talks where you're like, it sounds like you're not, you know, like accepting and moving through this, you're like kind of stuck, and I'm like, it's true. I I can resist, I can resist. I can I can hang out in discomfort and resist, and then I get sick of that and I have to keep moving. And um that's what I was thinking when you said that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's so true. It's it's like a lot, it's a lot of the struggle in life is is fabricated in our heads, right? And we add a lot of extra heavy that doesn't necessarily need to be there. We create these cogs that maybe aren't even real, right? So, what in your life has been your sort of go-to tools for dealing with that when you're caught in that overthinking or intellectualizing something to the to no end? What what's been a tool for you?
SPEAKER_00Honestly, getting out in nature, I am a sensory person, like I am a touch and feel and smell and hear person. So for me, like gardening or hiking or even taking my dogs for a walk, or just sitting out on my patio furniture with my cup of coffee and like in the sunshine, like listening for the birds and you know smelling my flowers. I'm a flower person, I'm into gardening, and so all of those things take me to like a deep experience that sometimes refills my tank, or at least gives me a break from what I'm thinking so hard about, so that I'm not thinking, I'm experiencing. And then sometimes, even if it's a two-minute break or a 20-minute break, that is enough of uh a rest for my soul that then I can either tell myself, nah, we're gonna put this down for now, like we're gonna focus on something else. Like sometimes focus doesn't mean mental focus, it means physical focus. So, you know, if I'm out walking my dogs, I don't take my phone and I don't take my music when I go walking my dogs because I'm listening for the cars driving by, or I am smelling the air, or I'm feeling the sun on my skin, or I am, you know, like feeling how hard the leash is pulling, and I'm paying attention to that, or I'm looking, you know, like it's intentional focus, I guess, and a break from mental intentional focus.
SPEAKER_01I don't know if that I love that. I love that. Yeah, I mean, what I hear you saying is you know how to move out of your head into your body, and that gets you in the present moment where you can actually focus on what's right here and now. And most of the time, I know for myself when I do that, it's like there's nothing, there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong right here, you know, everything's everything's good. The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, you know. In my head, it might feel like there's a zillion problems, but when you get in your body and you just get in the moment, there's you know, there's usually nothing wrong right here and now. I love that.
SPEAKER_00And if there was something wrong, like wrong, physically wrong, or you know, like in your situation, because you're there all the way, you would figure out a way to deal with it. And probably well, because you're focused on it. Like all of us have had situations in our lives where weird stuff happens, man. Like weird stuff happens in the moment that you didn't plan for, but you were able to deal with it um to the best of your ability because you were solely focused on that, like giant boulders hitting your windshield. Oh exactly, and by boulder she means large fist-size rock uh hit my windshield while I was driving with my daughter, who was in the passenger seat, spraying her with glass. Uh, the the rock didn't come through my windshield, but it broke my windshield enough to like spray my kid with glass in the passenger seat. It was like the craziest situation, and I didn't even see where the rock came from. It was insane. So, I mean, my daughter's okay, and like I'm okay, but I had to pull over and have a few breaths and make sure she's okay and pick the glass up out of my car, and it was just super strange.
SPEAKER_01So crazy. So, tell us you were telling me uh in our own conversation about some stuff you have going on with work and juggling lots of things and your goals and sort of shifting your perspective around that. I'd love for you to talk a little bit about that.
SPEAKER_00You know, I have always been a goal-oriented person. Like, you know, I'm a firm believer in, you know, figure out what you want and go after it, right? I have done that a lot in my life. And I have had a lot of wins and I've had a lot of failures. And, you know, I like to set a goal and take the steps and like, you know, manifest it. I'm a firm believer in, you know, like you you choose, right? Like you you choose to move forward and keep moving forward, whether it's small steps or medium steps or big steps. But I was telling Carla that I do have a lot going on in my life right now, and I find that current, like right now, like because things are so ever evolving in the world and in my life in general, that I am struggling a little bit, like figuring out what my next goal is, to be honest. Not because I don't have ideas and dreams and that kind of thing. It's more about I have been learning the lesson over and over again in you know, dating, I'm single dating or family relationships or work situations or career goals that you know sometimes being one of those people that sets a goal, takes the steps, and like barrels towards this doesn't always work out. And I, you know, like I'm familiar with that, but I'm practicing how to translate that way of being that comes natural for me into setting goals and intentions and then also like allowing the situation to unfold in front of me rather than me running towards something and like you know, dealing with the consequences of that, just putting it out into the universe or you know, in my journal or like in my day planner and seeing what comes and doing things with ease. So it's that whole two sides of the coin thing. It's like being a motivated person that's like going after what they want and you know, getting cool stuff done, but also being okay with it's not black and white, like what's in front of you. It's it's the different shades of gray, sometimes not so gray, sometimes it's you know more black, sometimes it's more white, but also feeling okay that I don't know where I'm going. Shoot, I thought I had everything figured out at 44. Like I keep thinking that, like, I think that's the the the kid in me that like feels like I know everything, or like not everything, but I know some stuff. And what you know, Carla and I have we've talked about is it's like the older you get, yeah, you you've got wisdom, but also you don't have everything figured out. I keep getting that lesson more and more, and also because I don't have everything figured out, how to graciously maneuver through that is an interesting thing to be aware of and to learn. And you know, not always do I float through life with grace and ease. Sometimes I barrel through with my fists ablazing and my words coming out with fire and my hair looking crazy, and you know, but but but also like you know, I'm really good at having patience and love and um a soft place for other people, but sometimes there aren't other people around to be gracious and loving and soft for me, and so I'm practicing being that for myself, and you know, those are things that we hear a lot about, but for me, I have to do silly things for myself, like try a new, you know, I drink herbal tea at night before I go to bed, like try a new brand of tea, or you know, splurge on the new fingernail polish, or you know, if I'm really stressed out, like if I'm finding myself like telling other people that I'm I'm really stressed, like oh my back hurts, like whatever. Okay, well, there's that, but then there's the responsibility of what are you gonna do to get your back from the art and well, go to the store and get more Epsom salt because you ran out to run your bath, to like, you know, like there's I'm trying to pay attention to if I have a complaint or a need or a want. Um, sometimes, you know, these times it can be lonely and you can feel like an island. And so if I'm an island, what do I need on the island? And like I have to do those kindnesses for myself, you know. And Sometimes we think that's self-indulgent and it's hard because we're always thinking about other people. We're kind of programmed and encouraged that. But truthfully, if I'm not good, I can't go be a badass in my life. And like I know we're hearing a lot about that, but it's really true. If you're not getting enough sleep and you're not, you know, calm on the inside, it shows no matter how hard you're trying to cover it up. If you're vibrating on the inside at like a low level, other people's chemistry, vibration, intuition like picks up on that. And so you're not gonna, you know what I mean? Like you can't pull that off. Like dangly earrings don't cut it. Well, dangly earrings are a quick fix and you know, super thick foundation for the under-eye. You know, sometimes we need a super tight ponytail to like make our face feel like it's stronger. I mean, there are things, you know, perfect, a new perfume, some fingernail polish. It these things just it's more for you. Like, don't you have wearing your dangly, sparkly earrings, if you're bedraggled and like you know, run through the mud a little, like it feels nice to put on some pink and like totally a bright color.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Like it's silly. It's true. It's so been so beautiful to watch you over the years because I think one of your gifts is is really seeing when someone's cup is empty, or when my cup is empty, or one of our other friends, and you're so good about reminding us of that and me of that, to make sure you're filling your own cup because you can't pour from an empty cup, and it's been beautiful to watch you do that more and more for yourself, and I think that's something you're really good at doing. There's so many things that you said that I want to go back to, but one was this idea of goals, and what I heard you say was you're learning to be maybe less attached to outcomes, perhaps. And I know for me years ago, when we were first doing entrepreneurial stuff side by side, and I would get so attached to a goal or to an outcome, and literally be so attached to it that and then miss it, miss the outcome or the expectation I had, and completely miss what actually happened. And oftentimes that was even better, but because I was so fixated on having it go a certain way, I I missed how it actually went. And I can you relate to that too?
SPEAKER_00Oh, heck yeah, man. Like if I if I just talked about my you know, path in jewelry, like I like to say it's been a windy path. I started off making jewelry at 15 for you know crushes in high school. Like I, you know, would give people gifts, and you know, that's how I start. I was poor, and so it's like I could make you something, and and literally I had no idea that jewelry was going to be the thing that like stayed with me. And so I that's how I started. And then I, you know, over the years, like learned more and more and like sold and you know, had dreams of like designing lines for big companies, and you know, I wanted to be a designer and like be known for that, and like, you know, make I had all these like barometers of success. And I had a lot of failures, like, you know, none of those dreams that I had years ago worked out like I thought, but I was having successes because I built all of these different avenues of jewelry, whether it was selling, whether it was designing, whether it was, you know, you know, learning how to photograph jewelry for a website, whether it was maintaining a website, whether it was, you know, figuring out how to charge right for things, like all these things, right? Like I've had to learn over the years like a lot of different skills around jewelry. And so those things have like grown me as a person, also afforded me a lifestyle where I could work around my kids, you know, and growing them up and to be wonderful human beings. And I guess it's a long way of saying that I have felt like a failure a lot in jewelry, but also the reason why jewelry has always stayed with me is you know, like everyone else, I have an ego and I want to be the best at things, and I take pride in my work in jewelry, but you know, also it keeps me humble because you can never know everything about jewelry, like in making jewelry and repairing jewelry, like four years ago, I you know, like I was an artist for a lot of years and did my own thing, and you know, like was I the best artist? No, but like I was having fun and I had clients and like I was super happy with what I was doing, and then four years ago, like kind of like things changed, and I wanted a new challenge in jewelry, and I started all the way over. Um I think I was 40 actually, or maybe a little younger than that, and I became an apprentice jeweler, and I had to start at the bottom, and pretty much like I went in there thinking, like, oh, I know a lot about like making jewelry. Well, when I started as an apprentice, like they let me know, like, you don't know anything, like we need you to start at the bottom, and like we don't care about your previous experience, like it's basically not not valued here because it's not how we do things, and that was like a trip and a half to like like kind of like you don't understand, like I've been making jewelry since I was 15, like that's 25 years of experience. And they were like, Ah, we don't care. So, pretty much like if you want to stay here and you want to learn what we do in you know, goldsmithing and like being a jeweler, which is not designing, that is repairing and setting diamonds and like that kind of thing, then you got to drop that. And like basically you're low man on the totem pole. So I was one of the oldest people in the shop, but I was uh not the coolest or the most knowledgeable, and I had to start there, and now you know things are different, but I'm still low man on the totem pole as a jeweler. I'm a baby jeweler, is what I like to call it, because you know, like I know nothing compared to people who have been doing this for 40 years. Do I try to put myself around people who know way more than me? Yes. Does it hurt my feelings when they basically tell me I suck? Yes. But when when you're around people that know way more than you who are willing to help you or show you, it builds you in a different way. Like it makes you, I have had to look at my, I always have to look at myself and I have to check myself because you know, sometimes when people tell you you suck, and I I don't mean they're literally telling me that I suck, I mean that like that's how it feels. It feels like, hey, you, you're 44, you suck at this, we're way better. Listen to us. And I'm like, I don't want to, but I need to, and you know, I kind of have an attitude, and so I'm funny at work because I'm sassy, like I'm like, oh, could you just show me how to do it, but like don't be a jerk about it? And they're like, Well, we have to be a jerk about it because you're a jerk and you don't listen. So it's like a funny, I'm grateful that I can be around people who know know more than me and who are willing to help me, and I try to be gracious to them, but it's a tricky tightrope to walk and continually walk. And sometimes I get upset because I I wanna I want to know more, but this is not something that you can learn fast, like it's not fast or easy. It's uh you have to somebody can tell you how to do what I do, but that's not all there is to being a jeweler. They can verbally tell you, but they are doing things with their hands. They are there's a tightness of tightening a stone, there's a feeling, there's a heat thing, there's a a danger element, there's a there's like a lot of components to being a jeweler, and not to, I'm sorry, I'm going into that, but I'm just trying to express that you can be a bad, I can be a badass in the rest of my life, but at my job, I'm a baby jeweler. And I don't like that, but I do like it also because it keeps me interested, it keeps me humble, it feeds my soul in a way that it continually reminds me to be patient. And I think that was a super long story that comes back to I can have dreams and I can have goals in my life, like as a jeweler, right? Like Carla, you know, like it's like I want to be good at it. I've you know, like I've worked really hard to like gather tools and equipment and knowledge, but I'm a baby jeweler and I have to be patient and I can have goals. I would love to work for myself someday or more than I do now. I would like to be the badass in the shop, but it's okay to be humbled. And I recognize that I'm I fight against being humbled because I want to also be recognized for being knowledgeable, and and you know, it's not that I'm disrespected or anything, I'm being funny about that. Like they respect me and I respect them, but it's that whole for me, I'm sassy and I'm a strong willed person, and I have a very strong opinion about things usually, and good.
SPEAKER_01I love that you're that, and that you're willing to be humble and slow down, and just you know, just listening to you, my whole being just slowed down and just reminded me of the importance of you know, when you're a high achiever and when you're goal-oriented, there's you know, often like a speed and a velocity and an urgency that we feel, and you're reminding me of how important it is to also slow down, and sometimes we have to slow down to speed up, and sometimes we have to let go of what we thought was gonna be to make space for what is gonna be, you know, and I love all of that, and I also heard you say like this idea of lightening up and releasing pressure around how we thought things had to be or how things had to look, and you're so good at you know, like you said, kind of stopping to check yourself and look at what is working and what there is to be grateful for, and releasing that pressure, you know.
SPEAKER_00I feel a lot of gratitude for like where I'm at. I'm not taking it for granted, and I really don't know where I'm going, honestly. Like, I don't I don't have like a clear picture of you know where I'm going or who I'm going with, but I'm doing the best I can with the tools that I have in the life that I'm living, and I'm confident that I'm gonna land on my feet because I always do. I really do. So yeah. I love that. I love that.
unknownThank you.
SPEAKER_01So I if if listeners want to find out more about you and what you're doing, where can they find you?
SPEAKER_00Uh I'm on Facebook and Instagram. Personally, you can find me at Holidaymanning or professionally, solelyjewelry.com. Uh S-O-L-I-J-E-W-E-L-R-Y dot com. Sometimes I sell jewelry, other times I do custom work. Right now I'm sort of focusing on repairs. So if you got broken jewelry, I'm a gal. I can help you out. I love that.
SPEAKER_01Paul, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. I absolutely love you, and I know people are gonna take so many jobs from everything you shared. Thank you for having me. Absolutely. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Differently. I hope it stirred your thinking, and I invite you to take one inspired appearance from something that stood out to you. If you want to hear more conversations like this, hit subscribe on your favorite five, and please comment spread the word by sharing five.