Author Recap: Why Self-Compassion Is Your Secret Advantage

In a world that tells us to hustle harder and keep on our game face, self-criticism has become endemic for many people. But what if that voice in our heads is making us more anxious and less effective?

Key Takeaways

• Self-Compassion Fuels Sustainable Success
• Detach Productivity from Self-Worth
• Mindfulness Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated

Special Thanks

• 🎧 Production: Brent Klein
• 🌟 Guest Coordination: Christy Lawrence
• 🎯 Free Resources: TheCultureWorks.com

Notable Quotes

“Criticism comes from fear. Compassion comes from love.” – Matt Kovachis
“Detach your productivity from your worth. Your value isn’t tied to your output.” – Matt Kovachis
“When you’re kind to yourself, it becomes effortless to be kind to others.” – Matt Kovachis

We encourage you to listen to the full episode here...

Transcript

What an interesting guy, you know, mindfulness coach. He went through the experience, a podcaster, comedian, you know, he found humor in his pain as often, you know, comedians do. But I'm really interested, Adrian, he shared a lot of stuff. I got a page and a half. What stuck with you? Oh my gosh. I'm excited so much. First off his story. I mean, how many of us have been through that where he's saying, look, he's unhappy, but that's what work is supposed to be. You go, you go, you're miserable all week, you rinse and repeat, you start over. And, and why, how many of us are really reflective, and you and I went through this process when we were working for a big corporation. And remember, we sat in a room, we wrote down what we really, you know, what we're passionate about, and none of them were things we were doing. Even though we had, you know, good salaries and lots of mastery autonomy and all the things that Dan Pink writes about in Drive, we had those things, but we were miserable because we didn't have the things that we needed in our lives. So yeah, get over the self-talk, comparison, figure out what it is that's gonna give you joy in your life, I love that. Yeah, find your joy. It had all the stuff, you know? And to your point, I love the expression, comparison is the thief of joy. You know, because there's always going to be somebody who's got more, is more talented, has got a nicer car or whatever. I thought it was really interesting when he pointed out, he said, look, being more compassionate and kind to yourself doesn't mean you lose your edge. If anything, it makes you more bold. It makes you able to take bigger risks, to handle failure better. And I thought that was a really big takeaway. Yeah, because I was born in England and an Englishman's only goal is to get to their grave without embarrassing themselves. Right. That is our whole goal in life. So yeah, it's a different way of thinking. Yeah, it's so different from the Irish, which is never pass a bar. But the idea too of that, the positive talk comes from a place of love. The negative talk comes from a place of fear. And just remember that you are always of worth. From a spiritual standpoint, that's very much a tenant, you know, that you're of a divine nature and you're a value. Interesting that he would come up with that as well. Detach your productivity from your worth. I love that. Exactly. Yeah. And then just simple things. You know, mine was just five minute walk, rub your fingers together, stand up, walk around, leave your phone behind. That is gonna be one of the toughest things for most people listening because we're just so tethered to our phones. I don't know what's going on with my phone right now, but from my Apple Watch, you know when you hit find your phone, it doesn't beep. I can tell you how much stress that has brought you. I have absolutely been replacing my phone, you know, but those breaks are just really needed. And to his point, it doesn't have to be a three hour meditation session, right? Exactly. I mean, it can be, you know, grounding can be as easy as push your feet into the ground. Well, it's hard to be somewhere else when you're doing that, you know, because it takes some concentration, you know, and things like that. We hear people saying, like, I'm about to go into a big sales call. I do these little, I tap my fingers, I rub my shirt sleeve, whatever it is, just to bring myself present and quit spiraling, you know, to the past. Oh, I've messed up these calls before or to the future. They're going to ask questions I don't know the answers to. No, bring yourself present, you'll do just fine. So, and I'll tell you, if there's one guy that keeps us from spiraling, you know, when it comes to our podcast, I mean, there's one name that comes to mind for me. It's Brent Klein. There's nobody better in the business. Brent Klein, brilliant, brilliant. And to Christy Lawrence, who helps us find amazing guests. We appreciate her and all of you who listened in. Hey, if you like this podcast, share it, download it. We'd also love you to visit thecultureworks.com for some free resources to help you and your team thrive. Yeah, and we love speaking to audiences, whether it's virtual, in person, small groups, big groups, we do it all over the world. We talk about culture, teamwork, resilience, gratitude. Give us a call. We'd love to talk to you or your organization. And as always, Adrian, you get the final word. Hey, thanks, everyone, for joining us. Another great kind of self-reflection here on are we being kind to ourselves. And so until next time, we wish you the best of mental health.