S6E5 -- Cycling Through Life with Ohana Guest Ingrid Hillhouse

Ingrid Hillhouse is a farmer, a coach, and an addiction expert due to her life experiences.  She is a six time 515 distance racer who turned to ultra cycling and randonneuring.  We discuss races such as Ultraman, San Diego 300, and Paris-Brest-Paris.  She is very open about her life experiences and how they have all brought her to where she is today – In Kona!

Soon she will be releasing her book, Cycling through Life, which accounts her cycling experiences wrapped in her repeated cycles of addiction.  

As a Holistic Health Coach and certified Sugar Addiction Recovery Coach she works with others to achieve their goals and overcome obstacles.  

You can reach out to Ingrid at her website : https://ingridhillhouse.com/

And on Instagram @ingridhillhousehealth

Watch for her book release through Hasmark publishing and Hay House publishing.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Ultra TriFest Canada
• Ultra 515 World Wide Championships
• UM World Championships
• Ironman World Championships 
• Honu 70.3 Hawaii
• RAW (Race Across the West)
• RAAM
• No Country for Old Men
• Paris Brest Paris
• San Diego 300 
• MS 150
• Escape from Alcatraz
• Rocky Racoon 100
• UM Canada
• Ultra 520K Canada
• SugarDetox.com

Shout outs and mentions in this episode:

• Lucy Ryan (S2E5)
• Sheryl Cobb (S2E6)
• Steffi Steinberg
• Melanie Baumann
• Gerry Steinberg  
• Joachim Graf 
• Janusz Piatkowski de Grzymala
• Joan Deitchman 
• Mike Diechman 
• Ginger Howell 
• Carolyn Craig
• Achim Bennemann
• Franz Schlegel
• Manmadh Rebba (S4E3)
• Heather Herrick
• Deb Banks
• Steve Brown (S2E13)
• Michael Collins

Show Contributors:

Host : Larry Ryan
Contributing Raconteur : Steve King
Announcer : Mary Jo Dionne
Production : 5Five Enterprises
Music  :  Run by 331

For show notes and past guests, please visit the Podcast Website: https://515theultrapodcast.buzzsprout.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/515TheUltraPodcast
Insta : 515theultrapodcast
Email : 515Ultraman@gmail.com

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_02 0:00

Great. That's an awesome question. And I, for context, I was not an athlete in my youth. So I felt feel like like I didn't discover triathlon until I was in my 30s. And in high school, I was in band so that I could avoid being in athletics. Like marching band counted for PE, and that was good enough for me. So that was my starting point.

Larry 0:24

As a PE teacher, I'm insulted.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

That was my reality.

Opening

Larry 1:19

Today's

Hawaiian Life + Ironman World Championships

Larry 1:20

guest is a farmer, a coach, and an addiction expert due to life experiences. She is a six-time Ultraman racer as well as an experienced crew member and race assistant. She has a history of rondineering, which includes Paris Breast Paris, and the first female finisher in history of the Maui 300K ride. All of this and soon-to-be published author. Joining me from the big island of Hawaii, it's Ingrid Hillhouse. Welcome.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Oh my gosh, thank you, Larry. That was an amazing introduction. I'm excited to be here today. Thanks for that.

Larry 1:58

You are welcome, and I'm excited to have you here today. Of course, you know, we've had the opportunity to meet in uh Penticton at some of the racing that you've done there. Uh, but really we got to know each other, I guess, more in 2013 when Lucy was doing the Ultraman World Championships and we got to crew for her there. Um, do you do you have any memories back of uh doing that race with with Lucy?

SPEAKER_02 2:23

Absolutely. Yes, yes. And you know, that's a the ultimate bonding experience. One of the ultimate bonding experiences with another ultra person is crewing and sharing in that race experience. So yeah, both the the memories of the race and what Lucy went through in the race. Um that that year was, you know, the weather was outrageous, um, as it often is here on the big island. So to see her overcome uh ever everything that she did, to see her capacity to keep going, her resilience, the strength and determination, and then to be with you and the crew in in the capacity of supporting that and you know, encouraging and allowing all the emotions and everything to flow through was um was just, I mean, it was uh it's what makes these events so special, the Ultraman, but what makes them so special and so different, and and the crewing experience, like I said, is one that you don't forget.

Larry 3:18

Yeah, absolutely. Um, so how are things on on the big island today? We got we got a sunny day, we got an another rainy day. What do we got?

SPEAKER_02 3:27

It's beautiful today. Yeah, we've been having some some interesting weather, a couple of really gray days, which is unusual. And I live right down by sea level in Kona, so it's really mostly sunny down here. Um, so yeah, it's it's nice to have a lovely um clear blue skies, warm temperatures. Um, just it's great to be back. I was in Texas for a while and and I'm back here and it's it's awesome.

Larry 3:51

And when did you move there permanently? How long ago?

SPEAKER_02 3:55

I moved in 2016. So it's uh just had my eight-year Conniversary.

Larry 4:00

Kona versory. Oh, okay. Um as a resident of Kona now for for eight years, um, I would like to get your perspective on the Iron Man World Championships and how that's gone with going to two locations. You know, they say that one of the reasons for the change is stated that it was the impact on residents with the large number of people that were coming in as the as the races grew bigger. So I'm wondering as someone who lives there, is is that something that you feel like when they split it up, did that achieve the desired result, or is it still maybe a little too overwhelming for people that aren't involved in triathlon? I guess it's probably your perspective as a person who's involved, and then maybe some of your neighbors that aren't. Tell us a little bit about how you think that went.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

Oh, yeah, sure. The um the year before the change when we actually had two back-to-back races on a Thursday and a Saturday here in Kona with the men and the women all here, was too much. It really, really was too much. And I sensed it from the community and I sensed it from the race organization, and I sensed it from you just being able to deliver the highest quality events to everybody on those two days. But really, the community was uh overwhelmed. I mean, if you think about trying to have 2,500 participants on one day, 2,500 participants on another day, those 5,000 participants, all their families, all the people, I mean, people were stringing themselves out all the way from Kona to Javi, looking for places to stay, looking for accommodations, you know, things were flying off the store shelves. There was kind of a scarcity. I mean, it's like it was chaos. And and I think in the community, people fed on that energy a lot, a lot of times. So there are the people that will raise the voices and be like, it's too much. And then people kind of jump on the train and it feels it just kind of feeds that energy. And so I think a little bit of it was uh kind of above and beyond what we were actually experiencing, but there was definitely a strain, if that makes sense. You know, I think that yeah, the community was uh raising the voices to be heard, and and I think that the that the message needed to be heard that it was too much. So then the next year when we had just the women here for the race, it was actually lovely. And I think that the just the whole pace and energy in Kona was different. Um, you know, it was less people, and I and I the sense from the volunteers, from the community is that there was just a lot more camaraderie, there was a lot more, a lot less of that kind of uh super ultra or not ultra, but just like that that high intensity. It seemed like the intensity level was just brought down and and it felt and every all the feedback that I saw, I it was really geared to the positive side, which was amazing to see because often even in previous years of just normal Iron Man, it was it's always been a little bit more way towards the negative side with the general consensus of of the people and and Kona or on the island. Um I think you know it's interesting to have it the split between men and women, and I think that the you know the um the will of the participant to come to the race in Kona. Like I think everybody there's still um an opinion around Kona is where the Iron Man World Championship is, like it is a world championship here. Um so the niece race and the Kona race and all that, I don't really I'm not really gonna comment on that, but it because I think that there was also really positive feedback on the niece race and the challenge of the course and the men's race and all that. So it's gonna be really interesting. And I'm gonna be, you know, really keeping my eye out to get a a feel of the pulse of the community on win the men come and how that feels compared to how the the race was uh last year.

Larry 8:03

Yeah, I just did a um women's round table, and they were saying that the energy was very high and that it felt very that that camaraderie was you could feel it. It was palpable. It wasn't that necessarily super um competitiveness that you always feel. It's it was a little bit more of let's boost each other up kind of feeling.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Yeah, let's all do our best, I think is kind of the thing versus let's all beat each other.

Larry 8:30

Yeah. What what sort of um involvement have you had with the race since you've been living there?

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Um gone through a range of of uh positions and jobs. I and I I'm grateful for all the opportunities that I've had. So I started uh when I actually before I ever even moved here, I would volunteer and come over from the mainland to work uh to volunteer the race. And I was so I would it was that huge of a thing to me. So a couple of years I came and I volunteered on the pier uh working in the transition area that was always like my greatest love was to get to see the athletes coming in and help them in the morning and even to help them set up the bikes and everything before the race and all the pre-race hype and get to know the athletes and talk to them. So that was a lot of fun. And then when I got here, I was already friends with Cheryl Cobb. And Cheryl uh was the um a director of uh bike and run aid stations, different roles at different times through there. So I jumped on board and started working bike aid stations with her and became an assistant director. Um, we kind of went rolled through races with the world championship and also Honu, the half Iron Man here. And we worked together on those until I think I became a director. Um we we split up some responsibilities. The the bike aid stations and the run aid stations were separated and we came back together. And ultimately I decided it wasn't my happiest, most joyful area of responsibility. And I have moved back to uh volunteering more kind of just on my own and have done gone back to um the transition, oh the pier, the transition area, and also the finish line, which was the other place that I would always volunteer before. So back into those types of volunteer roles.

Larry 10:16

As we're recording

Race Across the West

Larry 10:17

this, you're not too long back from being at Raw this year, uh, the race across the West. Uh can you can you tell us what was your involvement there? And and for people that may not know, can you can you also tell us the difference between Ram and Raw?

SPEAKER_02 10:34

Sure thing, yes. So I um am just back from crewing for Steffi Steinberg and Melanie Bowman, who were a two-person uh two women relay team who did race across the west, which is about the first 950 miles of race across America. So the race across America goes from Oceanside, California to now it used to go to Annapolis, Maryland, but now um Atlantic City. Yes. And the RAW actually ends in Durango, Colorado. So um I've crewed for Steffi also in a four-person relay with Steffi, Jerry, Ahum, and Kanos. So it was a four-person mixed relay team, and they did the whole race across America. Uh, so it's my it was my second opportunity to crew for her in this capacity, my first as um the crew chief. So that was a huge responsibility for me. And um we had an amazing crew, and their goal was to break the two-person female under 50, I believe it's under 50, uh, world record for the distance, and they did it. And it was amazing. And it was also one of the most like intense experiences of my whole crewing experience of my whole life. And I I've also crewed for Joan Deitman, who is Mike Dicman's wife. That was my first uh experience. And I'm sorry, guys, if I'm saying their last name wrong. Uh, but it was my first experience of crewing for Race Across America and the introduction to that. And uh, she's Canadian, so there's that connection as well. Um, and that was at that time, it was the most intense thing I'd ever been through in my life. That was 12 days of of crewing for a solo person. And with um Steffi and Mel did under 48 hours, I'm pretty sure. We'll check the numbers on that. So it was just like it was above and beyond what they needed to to do to break the world record. But if you can imagine that as crew chief, I was like on.

SPEAKER_03 12:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

It felt like the whole time they were on because of that level responsibility. And so Grateful, we had um, we had myself, uh, two others, actually, um professional traathlet Ginger Powell was on our our team. Um, then local here from Hawaii, Carolyn uh Craig was on the team, and Jerry Steinberg was on the team, and then Achim Bineman was uh the other on the team. So I'm grateful we had that that many people to to support the team at the same time. Because I'm an ultra athlete, I think I was like, oh, I can stay up for the whole thing and I can be away, you know, I can do this for the whole thing. And I really pushed through to be, you know, in that in that role to be there for them as much as I could uh because it was just that important and that intense and I couldn't sleep anyway. But at the end of the day, um, it was just to see their commitment to pushing themselves to the limit in pursuit of their goal, of their dream, was like nothing I ever witnessed before. And I've seen a lot of amazing, you know, inspirational performances and and and people that have overcome a lot of challenges. But what they went through, both of them individually and as a team, um, was just incredible.

Larry 14:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

And and one of the things being that Melanie's bike broke. Her bike completely broke. She took time off the out of the way. She had to go get the bike fixed. They went to Prescott. We came up with a plan, like everything kind of magically and divinely went the way it needed to go. Steffi rode for four hours straight, covering for her. It's like extreme heat conditions, over 100 degrees going through these. I mean, this was a, you know, not an unprecedented heat year, but one of the hottest or hotter years out there. So to see what Steffi did, what Melanie did, how the crew came together, how everything was managed, how we covered, how we got through that and recovered from it, and then continued. It was just, I mean, that was just like one of several types of overcoming the challenges that were again, just you know, the commitment to never give up and to keep going no matter what, never stop.

Larry 14:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

That's what made the difference.

Larry 14:53

And and for you, it it's coming up with that plan, it's it's developing it, it's getting everybody to execute and and hopefully lead them through that execution of it as well. That's that's amazing. That's that would be so much fun. That's the kind of thing that I enjoy. Like, okay, we got a major problem now. How do we Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Yeah.

Larry 15:13

What would be a normal shift for each one of them as they're doing the relay? How many hours or what how did they just decide to divide that up?

SPEAKER_02 15:21

They had a couple of strategies. I think going in, we were in the I want to say we were looking at an hour on, an hour off. And uh we originally were planning to have only one crew, so we're gonna have to get each person in and out of the same car all the time. And logistically, that's it's a challenge to make that many exchanges. Um, and then we were gonna shift to a three hours on, three hours off at night. Uh, because the in the race across America, race across the West, you have you do a direct um leapfrog, excuse me, during the day, leapfrog support during the day. And at night, you have to do direct follow and you have to keep the athletes in your headlights. And so on those exchanges, it requires stopping on those exchanges. So we wanted to minimize those exchanges. Um, and in the end, I think we had to do some on the fly kind of changes in that strategy as the weather dictated, as their, you know, their own um, you know, their need for recovery might have been changing. The I mean, basically the heat at the beginning was just really hard to to overcome. So maybe that resulted in short shorter shifts. And then also with mechanical problems and things like that down the line, we shift and do what needs to be done. So but generally that was the the original plan, the strategy.

Larry 16:45

Excellent. And and how is it that you come to know these people in the in Raw? Is it you you've got a connection to one or two or all of them? How what's what's the ultra-family connection that goes on there?

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Uh the connection was uh Steffi came to Hawaii and did Ultraman Hawaii, I believe, in 2016 or 2017. And I met her when she was here and I was uh working at in the race organization with Cheryl again, um, co-assistant race director or assistant to Cheryl were some of the various roles that I had over time. And so seeing Steffi here the year she won it outright again was was so impressive that we uh had that connection. And then because I'm in Hawaii, when she and Jerry would come to Hawaii, we would reconnect if they came for Iron Man. But also over time, I started pursuing more ultra cycling. So I was shifting from ultra triathlon to ultra cycling, and I um connected with Jerry and Steffi to be my cycling coaches. So for right before I got into my first longer distance stuff, uh Jerry was coaching me more on um preparing for that. But that was also when COVID hit. And so I was like, well, I don't even know if my races are gonna happen, so I'm not really gonna stick with this coaching thing, but thank you and let's keep in touch. And then uh down the line, after they continue to do inspirational things and I continue to get bigger goals, and when I was ready to do PBP, I uh reached out to Steffi to um coach me in doing what would be my longest uh ride ever for my amateur cycling.

Larry 18:24

Yeah. Well, yeah, I do want to get into uh some of these cycling events that you've done as well. So maybe that's a it's a good chance to do that. And we will do that right after it's quick and

Buy Me A Coffee info

Larry 18:40

I really enjoy those times when I get emails.

Shift to Ultra cycling

Larry 19:33

People listening to the podcast they're always looking for things to add to their bucket list, and you seem to have quite quite a range of them uh that you've done now over the years. And it I think it started out in San Diego for you, where you started kind of your your your randoneering uh experience. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_02 19:53

Yeah, so the shift to randoneering, definitely that well, I guess I would let me just back up a little bit. I started doing ultra-long distance cycling with, as kind of we talked talked about, that no country for old men. And no country for old men was in Texas. It was a 383-mile, it was the first time I was attempting that distance, and it was a crude um ultra cycling event. So I started like doing the ultra man with a crew. I was doing ultra cycling with a crew, and that was kind of a natural progression. In that event, I heard about a race called, or not a race, an event called Paris Breast Paris from one of my crew members. And it was solo self-supported riding, 1200 kilometers through day and night all by yourself. And that sounded like, ugh, this isn't that's not for me for sure. Like I like riding behind the headlights of a car and being safe at night and having you know support and not have to carry all my stuff and having people to talk to in my headset. And this is this works for me right now. That's that PvP thing. I don't think that's solo self-support, it's probably not for me. And then fast fast forward to my uh relationship with uh Steffi and Jerry, and they were hosting training camps in Lanzarote. So I went to Lanzaroti. I love Lanzaroti. I've raced there in 2015, and so when they had a training camp there, I was like, Yeah, I want to go, I want to go back. So I went there and I met Franz. Franz was an amazing German cyclist who was telling these romantic and beautiful stories about Paris Breast Paris and riding through the French countryside when the villages were lit with lanterns at night and the local people would come out with coffee and baguettes. And it was like just his stories and his love and just the way that I could see how much he enjoyed and appreciated it. And by now, my passion for cycling had grown into a way that it wasn't just about the miles anymore, it was really. about my place of like comfort and reflection and and just it just it was evolving that really like it planted the seed in my heart that I wanted to do it someday. And and so so kind of like got more curious about this solo self-supported writing. And then that's how I got into the San Diego thing because when I decided I wanted to do PBP, I learned it only happens every four years. And it was coming up and it was the first time that since COVID that it was going to be held and that if I wanted to get a spot I would need to probably pre-qualify for an early registration because they do registrations kind of by seniority. So whoever has written the longest prior to the sign up opening gets first dibs at the slots. Oh that's so yeah yeah so if you've written a 1200K you registration opens first and if you've written only a 600k registration opens second. If you've written only a 400k and so on and so on all the way down to 200k. So I didn't think I was going to get be able to get trained up to do a 1200k but I was like but I think I could probably do a 600k before the last date of pre-qualification so I can for sure get a slot for that. Because when I decide to do things I just like go all out. That's part of part of my history. So yeah so the the last chance qualifier for PBP by the time I decided I wanted to do it was the San Diego thrice loop 600k procrastinators edition randoneering ride which was a solo self-supported ride and it was like the first thing I needed to do was get a proper bike for this random so you know it's it it really everything just started fast once I decided to do it. And then it was a huge learning curve.

San Diego 600 - Part 1

Larry 23:46

And so when you go over to San Diego you you just you jump in and and you're ready to go there. How how how does that first experience go of the self-supported ride for you?

SPEAKER_02 23:59

That's funny you say you jump in and you're ready to go well back up a little bit I really didn't have any idea what I was in for. And I think I enjoy those types of challenges. So I had trusted the training but I'd never ridden let's see a 600K I don't even know how many miles that is but it's a lot it's a lot and I hadn't ridden more than maybe seven or eight hours at one time in a training session going into it. But I had huge trust in Steffi's program for me. And that was also a huge learning that I've developed over the years because before and we could talk about that later it used to be I overdid everything before I would do the event. So I would have the mental belief in myself that I could do it. But regardless at this time I was like I'm I know I I think I'm pretty sure I can do this but you never know when I show up and whatever. And the thing with solo self-supported riding is I was like I said I had to get a bike and then I had to get gear bags and then I needed to get lights and then I needed a charging system and I needed a navigation system because previously everybody had been navigating for me and there were signs and you know these crewed events is different. But when you're solo self-supported you're on your own and the San Diego event was three different loops. So it was three 200k loops but none of them were the same. So there was a ton of navigation and we were going in and out of incentivis and a couple of times navigating through downtown San Diego like going by SeaWorld and the airport and all those places and going through literally like 20 stop lights through downtown go stop go stop go stop go stop. So um so navigation was a huge thing manman ri Monma Reba who we know from the Ultra world is in San Diego. He was he works at that airport doesn't he sometimes I think on different projects um but yeah with the navigation system with my Garmin with helping me get set up with learning how to load GPX files with learning how to do turn by turn and all of that he opened his home he shared uh gear and equipment with me just amazing human who we know and love from the Ultraman Ohana and that meant so much to me to have that you know local that connection and then to someone who knew knew his stuff so well that could help me through it. You know it's like oh mama the course changed again now I gotta reload my dad and he's like it's okay we got this so by by the by the night before when the course changed again I was able to load it all by myself you know so you know it's things like that that I didn't really have any experience with that were kind of down to the wire new and different that really didn't even have anything to do with the execution of the bicycling you know the actual physical part it was just all the other things that come along with solo self-supported cycling. And at that time I didn't have my new wheel set which my new wheel set had a hub that kept my uh keeps a headlight going all the time so the generating um hub for my headlights so I also I was really worried about charging and batteries and having enough light through the night being by myself these things these events are not big and so we're talking about maybe 15 people start and then maybe in this one maybe like three people finish. But I didn't know all that either at the time but I figured I needed to know how to be completely self-support self-sufficient on my own in the dark in these things.

Larry 27:34

I think the Ingrid talk in this segment reminds me that many of the guests I have on the show are commentary. And that is someone is taking off even thicker ups and downs up and how they are just learning opportunities and the outcome does not have to be you get out there you're you're doing

San Diego 600 - Part 2

Larry 28:30

the event uh how does it unfold for you well it's and it started great because I went in with the uncertainty of am I going to be strong enough?

SPEAKER_02 28:39

Am I going to be fast enough? Am I gonna be able to keep up with the people um this isn't my terrain this isn't but I went before I did some course previewing I did a little bit of like where I thought maybe the sketchy parts of the navigation were the first 200k went really well got into a groove I'm talking to people it's fun I'm like oh that's what randoneering is about because it is like this audacious long distance cycling is kind of what randoneering is about and the camaraderie within the community is also an important kind of differentiator of randoneering versus racing because it's not about your time at the end of the day. We do have time limits but regardless of where you finish in time the finishing order is by your last name. So it doesn't really matter if you finish like a a 60 hour in brevet and 50 hours or 60 hours it's gonna be like you know John Adams is ahead of Ingridhouse is ahead of the next person, you know so yeah so so I was so happy and I kind of like got into a you know a kind of a small group so like three or four of us and we're we kind of broke off and we're same pace and chit chatting and get to know each other and we finished the first loop and then by the second loop I'm like okay I'm ready to go I so the second loop I was like me and Larry I have friends with uh Larry and um we were riding and it was just great and I was so thankful to have uh somebody to to cruise along with you know was you know help at the night time I also had some mechanicals so the first um major mechanical I had was a spoke broke and I figured I I didn't know what to do and we he pulled off with me and I on my own I might have thought well my race is over I can't continue with a broken spoke um but with Larry he's like oh you're small you're lightweight you can ride with a broken spoke no big deal we'll just like like I had zip tie he had uh electrical tape we just kind of secured the broken spoke so it wasn't flapping around anymore and and off we went like kept going so that was like a huge you know uh example of how the you know having another person by my side was just like magical like and like I might have doubted or you know I probably would have called somebody and asked but nonetheless I may not have had the same confidence to keep going. Um so that was that and then on the way back from Irvine at some time around two o'clock in the morning I lost Larry um there was navigation and we were doing turn by turns through oceanside so we were only by this time we were getting pretty close back to Incinitas and I waited and there were turns on the road that were like the scenic bike route of that area where it had arrows and it's possible that you might follow those arrows instead of your navigation just because by this time you're kind of getting delirious because you've gone right you know 30 hours without sleeping or whatever it is. Um so I waited and then I was like I kind of turned back and looked around and I'm thinking well I'm hoping he's gonna pop out somewhere but he never did. Um so that was concerning and I got back to the parking ride. So the each loop started and finished in the same area I and in that area I was able to have my car staged with my bottles and nutrition and food and and all that. So I took about a three hour break and waited for Larry and he didn't come in. So I thought well maybe he got really tired after we got lost and took a nap and he's somewhere safe hopefully I hadn't exchanged phone numbers with him um so I wasn't able to contact him in any way. So that was another huge lesson learned like in these things like get some contact information before you go out there. And then I was just about you know ready this to head out for my last loop when three other writers came rolling in and those were the only other writers I had seen since we had done the whole second loop Larry and I and they were like are you going back out and I said yeah and they're like oh we can't go right now we got to get some sleep and I was like life so good I'm going for it. So off I went and that was my next lesson learned was like I thought I was confident enough and felt good enough that I could do it on my own. And what happened in that third loop was the complete breakdown of everything. Yeah so there was I started getting lost I started making wrong turns I uh lovingly called them bonus miles but ended up with like about 30 bonus miles of off course uh riding um and then I even missed a turn like I turned around too early because my Garmin was recalculating it was an out and back section and the Garmin was confused and it told me to turn around and me in my delirium but now probably 38 hours without sleep no maybe 36 I don't know what it was but my delirium I was like okay I'll turn around to your it didn't make sense but I did and when I got back I was like oh there was a control point on the other side that I needed to go hit before I turned around the control points are the way that they know where you are in these random rearing rides. We don't have chips and you show proof of passage by getting um your like a receipt from a convenience store would be an example of a control point.

unknown 34:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:07

So at that point I called the race director and he's like well you know you missed a control point so if you want to be an official finisher you got to go back and get it. Oh and when I got back I was just like my like done toast just completely spent frustrated uh not sure how I was gonna get through it knowing what I had ahead of me but he's like you have plenty of time the race director said you have plenty of time so trying to get that in my head again this head of of being in exhaustion past exhaustion and I decided I heard Steffi in the back of my head saying you know a power nap could be a good thing and I hadn't taken a power nap yet. So I was like okay I think this this is the time to do it. And I think I called my mom almost in tears and I posted on Facebook and I was like just like you I when I look back on it I could see and feel I still see and feel how I felt in that moment. Um and yeah so I I go to take a power nap and I sit down next to a tree and I I put my head down in the grass with my hands on my head and I'm trying to sleep and I take a few breaths and I smell it smells awful and I was like what why where am I and I'm in the pet relief area of an apartment complex like where they go that's where I had chosen to take my power up and I was like oh my gosh seriously can it get any worse right now really but I was too tired. So I just propped myself back up against the tree put my head back against the tree and just sat there I was like I can't move I can't do anything I'm just gonna sit here until it gets better. And in that like maybe six or seven minutes I heard the freewheel of bicycles and when I heard that I was like there's hope there's people and I open my eyes and I look and I I see what I think I see is two bicycles with the randoneering when randoneers like official randoneers sometimes have these big bike box bag things right under their handlebars which I didn't have that kind but some of the guys that I started with did. And I was like oh my gosh it's guys from the right and I like completely forgot about being tired just like latched on to the possibility that I could catch them and I got up and I got back out there and I was like just like on point just I'm going to get get these guys I'm gonna find them I'm gonna hang with them and I'm not gonna be alone and everything's gonna be fine. And that's how I came out of it until I never found them and it was like now looking back I wondered if I hallucinated because I learned at the end that there were only five of us that even started the third loop and the other two guys because when I got to the um control station the late the lady there said that only like two guys have been in front of me. So then I was the third person there were still two guys behind me but I wouldn't see those guys until later like when I was lost again those two guys caught me so I was like there's actually nobody that might have been a hallucination but whatever it was it got me moving again and then yeah onward I went until I got lost again and then uh Marlon and uh Carlos found me and they were some guys the guys from the who said we need to take some rest uh they then caught me and that's they got me through to the next point in the race where that finally was the end for me. But the when we when I met back up with them it was amazing once again just that not being alone was made such a difference in the whole energy of where I was and being able to share the experience with others and um one of them was was having some problems. So it was like rally to help them and just the way that we can overcome our own limits when we're in the space of helping others was really huge.

Larry 38:15

And and you said that's where it ended for you does that mean that you did not finish that race I did not finish that race.

SPEAKER_02 38:21

So I was about uh I think about can't remember if it was 12 or 24 might have been only 12 miles out but maybe 24 miles out from um the end when we were all three were going up this hill together to the monument where we had a a secret control where we had to answer a question on our card based on the sign that was up there. And I just started falling off from them and I was like well this is weird because I've been so strong and it I've been doing so well and I've been keeping up with my nutrition and I've been keeping up with my hydration and what's going on why am I oh I think it's a flat. So I had a flat tire going up the hill and a flat is no big deal. I've changed lots of flats. However this was a new to me bicycle randoneering was new I had just bought this got this bike two weeks before I left and uh I had not practiced changing a flat on it. And uh Marlon and Carlos were like yeah okay I was like yeah yeah I got this I'll see you on your way back down you know whatever I wasn't that far behind. We weren't that far from the end. Um but it turns out that I there was a few things it was a through axle which okay no big deal we can figure that out it was really tight and I was really weak and that's okay I can power through that. But then I could not get the tire off the rim which is like rookie mistake like why can't you you know sometimes the tires are just tight and I'm like I don't think it's my strength. I think there's really something off here. But I I couldn't figure it out. So I called a friend I called my friend Heather Herrick who has crude for me who is also crude for others in Ultramanuana and uh follows the race um and her husband was a bike mechanic and he had they had both had crude for me before and they and he was like tell her to ride it flat so I was like okay you know not much farther to go. So I was riding it flat trying to descend and then I was just like this no this is not a good idea. Um I don't think this is going to work out for me. And then I was like okay well if you walked the rest of the way with your bicycle could you make it in the cutoff and you know I started going through all the things on when do you stop? When do when's when's it just enough and the sun was setting and I was starting to get cold and I don't like being cold at all. But I was also like you know what I have done everything I can and there will be I don't have anything more to prove at this point. Like I won't make the cutoff I mean even if I was riding my fastest at this point it's not in the cards. And I mean I've overcome other things and as far as believing in cutoffs and things like that. But I was like yeah I think I'm good and I learned this was no longer the last chance procrastinators edition race that the Davis bike club in California had added a last last last chance literally the the rate the event was like a day before like I think the event was October 25th and your last day to qualify was October 26th. And so she snuck one in Deb um can't Deb Banks Deb Banks at the uh Davis um bike uh club snuck one in and so I knew that there was one last chance and there was also I think an Arizona ride got sneaked in so um I actually signed up to do the Arizona ride got COVID before that and then ended up uh doing the Davis ride which was a breeze after everything that I had learned.

Larry 41:54

After all your learning that you did on the first and this one.

SPEAKER_02 41:57

Yeah. And that's kind of like that's a repeating cycle in my stories of of how I've evolved as an ultra athlete as well I think.

Larry 42:07

Yeah and and that's obviously um again one of the reasons why I think people will tune into this podcast to listen to you is because of all the experiences you've had. And it's so much easier to learn from hearing those stories from other people and remembering that when you get to an event that sometimes it's just that sharing that with the what the people that come on the podcast do it really it empowers the other people listening that okay they got through that. And if that ever happened to me now I know how to get through that. And that's just one more step one more way of unfortunately you have to live it for them but at least we're providing this to them that they can have that confidence going forward as well.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

Yeah yeah and my message on that is that's the hugest the growth that comes you know like because I went through it all then the next the next one was was better. And then I the Maui ride was extremely extremely horrible and then PBP was like okay that was not so bad. I mean that was actually easier than a lot of the stuff that I went through to get to that point.

Paris-Brest-Paris

Larry 43:15

Yeah. Well I I do want to hear some about the PBP as well. That's 1200 kilometers. Tell us um what is that course that that you go on um and and how like how much sleeping time are you getting on a on a rondineering like that and and how did that particular one go for you? Tell us tell us about it because I know this is one that people do know about and so I'm thinking of trying to take on.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

Yes thank you um it you know the mystique and the mystery of PvP was what really attracted me to it. So PvP is Paris Brest Paris and it's 1200K from uh Paris but really you start in Remember. Um, but near Paris, uh, and and then you go all the way to Brest, which is on the western coast of France. Uh, so you basically go all the way to the to the coastline to see the sea, and then you turn around and you come back, but you don't come back on the exact same course, it's a little bit slightly different course, and you go through the French countryside, and it's you know, I don't know, 40,000 plus feet of climbing in the whole thing. Um, but it it's a it's pretty rolling. There's really, as far as the terrain and the road conditions and the feelings of safety and the traffic or anything like that, it's really a lovely ride compared to a lot of the qualifiers I did getting ready for it. Um the first control is, I believe, was about at least a hundred miles out, might have been around 200K. Um, and then there was a control at 400K that you hit at 400k and 800K. And then there was the turnaround was at 600k. These were like big, like aid stations. So whereas the control points of the brevets that I did were convenience stores and no one was there and you're on your own. Um, these were oftentimes in cafeterias or places where they would actually have hot food available with choices of foods that I actually would eat, whereas I wasn't really eating from convenience store foods because I'm all big on this no sugar thing, um, which is another story. But um, yeah, so I there were foods that I could eat. They had water stations so you could refill your water. You didn't have to buy water like I did on the brevets or carry it all with you. Uh, but I did actually have a lot of my own supplies and food and nutrition because I am pretty particular about that stuff. So I staged a pretty substantial drop bag at the 400k, 800K point, knowing that I would stop and have some big refills there. As far as the sleeping goes in Paris Breast Paris, well, the time cutoff is 90 hours. So you have 90 hours to do 1200K. And it's up to you where and how you choose to sleep. And the stories that Franz told me were about how he would just, when it was nighttime after he was riding under the stars, he would just pull over on the side of the road in a patch of grass and have like a ditch nap. Or perhaps uh a local villager would offer pull their couch out or a cot or have a pallet set on the side of the road for a weary cyclist to take a break. So I had these like ideas that, well, I will just, I guess when it comes time to sleep, I'll just crash out on the side of the road, which I did not end up doing. However, that happens, and it's really crazy to see people laid out like corpses. Literally, people will lay out arms and legs sprawled, um, just completely knocked out, crashed out because they've been going so long and you get that tired and you just crash out. So um, my experience was I waited until I got to a control station and found like a wood deck at the control station. And I kind of set up my little stuff that I brought with me and warm clothes and things and tried to take a nap, but there was the emotion-sensing light that kept coming on. So that didn't work well for me. That was about an hour of uh an attempt to nap. Um, so I rolled through that one. Then when I got to the turnaround point, that was set up at a um a dorm. Like there was a college campus, and so they had a dorm and they were offering uh for five euro, which is about five dollars, uh, you could go in and take a rest. So I had found another woman, which there weren't that many women in this event. Now though, should let everybody know there's like 6,500 people. So there's also no problem with ever being alone or getting lost on this thing. So navigation is not a problem. Um, but only about 475 women started and 317 women finished. So it was definitely the demographics um and the cycling communities and whatever is was um, there weren't that many women out there. But I found a lady that I was writing with. We rolled into um to the turnaround together and paid our five euro each and shared a dorm room and crashed out. And and and it was pretty cool. You ask the monitor to wake you up in an hour, and they do, they come into the room and they tap, tap, tap, it's time to get up. So I wake up, I'm refreshed, I'm ready to go. And I look at my uh cycling buddy and I was like, okay, ready to go. And she's like, No, you snored the whole time. Oh my god, I've taken another hour. So I felt really bad for that. And um, she finished in the end also, so that was wonderful. I would see her later, but uh that was kind of a unique experience.

SPEAKER_03 49:07

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:08

When you're that tired, and then also at the 400k, 800k point, um, my mom had come from uh from the mainland and was in Paris, so she staged herself there. And when I came around at 800k, I was able to uh find a safe place to sleep with her. So yeah. So I had three hours of sleep there. So all total, I got about four hours of actual sleep during the 82 hours that I was out there, and then had other periods of time where I was uh, you know, eating and like refilling my bottles and doing the controls. I mean, every time you got to a control, there's kind of a lot of people there. So you have to park your bike and you go through the station and they it's like they're stamping passports. It's pretty cool. The the staff that they have, the and the communities are as amazing as the stories that I heard as far as the love of the cyclists, the interest, the support, the cheers. I mean, it's the the culture of cycling is um so different in Europe and it feel it felt really good. It felt really good there. It didn't I always feel so good on the course with my other cyclists, like that was what in the end was really unsatisfying and unfulfilling to me. Was I felt really um yeah, I felt a lot more more competition and negative energy at the end than than I really had hoped for than my experiences in the brevets had been. You know, like I felt like I made some good friends out there and I really didn't feel that at the end of this one.

Larry 50:46

Is it just because this one's too big, do you think?

SPEAKER_02 50:50

Oh I don't know. I don't I don't think that's it.

Larry 50:53

I think culture.

SPEAKER_02 50:55

I think culture.

SPEAKER_03 50:56

Yeah. Yeah.

Larry 50:58

One of the things

Other races / 515 / 520

Larry 51:00

that I learned about you reading through your your pre-interview stuff is that a lot of the times you're willing to try and take on your weaknesses and and uh focus on getting a little bit stronger. Like we've talked a lot about your cycling, and obviously that's something that you're very comfortable with. Um but there was a time where you wanted to work on your swim, the time you wanted to work on your run a bit more. So you took on a couple of races to do that. Can you can you tell us about why it is you think that you're able to be unlike a lot of successful athletes and check on the weakness and and go for it? And then what were the events that you did and and how did those ones come out for you?

SPEAKER_02 51:42

I think it was probably about the time that I decided I definitely wanted to do the Ultraman, um, which was after I did my first Iron Man. I did my first Iron Man in 2009. And after my first Iron Man, I was like, I want to do the Ultraman. And so I'm gonna have to swim in like the ocean, and it's gonna be big and scary. And what's the like scariest swim I could think of right now that I know of? Ah, Alcatraz. So I decided to do the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon so that I could really um get over that fear of swimming in a scary, cold, dark ocean full of sharks. Yeah, so that was one that's one example. And similarly, when I decided to do Ultraman, I knew I was gonna have to run 52.4 miles. I wasn't a runner, I've never done anything longer than uh Iron Man distance. And I was like, well, if I'm gonna have to run 52.4 miles at the end of uh swimming 10k and biking 270 something miles, then maybe I should just run 100 miles, 100 miles, just in a 100-mile run and make sure that I can do this 52 mile run in the Ultraman. And so that's what that's why I went after the Racky Raccoon. And I did that, I think also these were like in 2010, 11. Uh, I did my first Ultraman in 2011.

Larry 53:09

And that was Ultraman Canada, right? Yeah. Well, let's let's jump into your Ultraman uh experience then because you did come up when Steve Brown had Ultraman Canada um and he converted to 520K Canada. So you did the race with him three times. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_02 53:28

Yes. I loved that race. I mean that like why would I go back three times? But oh my gosh, the first experience was so amazing, so incredible. It was I'd never been to a place like Penticton, the beauty, the the course, the Ohana, the whole idea of Ultraman Aloha, Ohana, Kokua. Just it was it felt so good. And I was like, I want more of this. So I did it in 2011, and then that qualified me for Ultraman Hawaii in 2012, but I decided, but I need to do it, I need to do Canada again. So I did uh my second and third Ultramans were back-to-back Canada and Hawaii in 2012. Right.

SPEAKER_03 54:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:13

And then I came back in 2015, and that's when I did the Ultra 520 when it was rebranded that way. Because again, I just it was like it was a time in my racing that I needed a comeback. Like I needed that for my healing through other problems that I was going through in life.

Ultra TriFest Canada sponsor

Larry 55:56

Not only in her athletic endeavors, but also in the other parts of her life. And how she came to recognize that stuff yourself. Not

Addiction

Larry 56:13

unlike many people who find their way into ultra sports. You had a bit of uh an addiction issue as a younger woman and found that ultra was a more positive way to channel your addictive tendencies, should we say. And and you've touched on this a little bit through throughout our conversation already, but I I do want to hear more about this from you. Uh you tell us about your years prior to triathlon, like what your life was like. And I understand that at that time you were more of a workaholic and a people pleaser. Um that you were using alcohol and maybe other things to to numb out your self-criticism. What what was going on? You were working as a petroleum engineer, I believe. Sounds sounds like a good Texas job. All right. Yeah tell tell me about what was going on in your life and and how that's kind of led you in the triathlon and and to where you are now where you've where you got the handle on it. And give us the the background, please.

SPEAKER_02 57:15

Sure. Yeah, I think um sometimes I start with uh like everything in moderation, just a little won't hurt you, right? And that's something that doesn't work for me in my life. Um, but actually it does. And so that's the interesting thing. I think that, you know, in in everything that I have not everything, but there are many things that I've gone after in my life. Um, well, even before triathlon, I go all out. And that's something that is just part of who I am. But at the same time, it can propel me to like great accomplishment and achievement. It can also uh threaten to derail my whole life. And so that's kind of these cycles that I've repeated in my life. Um, so whenever I was in um high school, I was really, really smart and loved math and science. And I didn't know what I wanted to do when I went to college, but my uncle was an engineer, so I decided I would be an engineer and I got a scholarship to study petroleum engineering. I had no idea what it was. Um and was like, well, kind of I didn't really know what engineering was, really, for that matter. It was like, oh well, engineers are like scientists that solve problems. What does that mean?

Larry 58:32

But they were the people that drove the trains.

SPEAKER_02 58:35

Exactly. But I, you know, I went with it and I was like, well, all the engineers are kind of the same for the first two years. So I could just re ride the scholarship. And if it doesn't work out, I can change my major and be the chemical engineer that I wanted to be. That's kind of what I thought of chemistry at the time. Um, but really it turned out whenever I took my first petroleum engineering class, it was pretty fascinating. And I really got interested in what was fascinating about it was drilling wells and the actual kind of the tangible description of what was going on as the drill bit was going in the ground and it's churning up rocks, and we're using mud to control the forces. Like everything that I was trying to learn conceptually in other engineering was very like tangible and it was made a lot of sense to me. And I could visualize what was going on really well. And I was like, okay, I think this petroleum engineering might be something I'll stick with. And um in college, I got uh an internship and I was a I went to work for Texaco and I really enjoyed it. I got put out in the field right away. So I was working in the oil fields of West Texas with the producing um the guys that are producing wells out there, like on in Texas, you've got the pump jacks that go up and down that are pulling the oil out of the ground. So I was out there in that environment um as a 20, 19, 20-year-old young woman in West Texas. And I actually had a wonderful experience, which is not what I don't think anyone was expecting for me, um, because I had a lot of people fearing that is that a safe place for you? And uh what's it, you know, all this just like a lot of like stereotypes about that environment just did not turn out to be like that for me. And I think part of it was I'm a really hard worker and I went out there open to learning and working hard. And the people I connected with, the guys that I was working with, saw that more as wow, look at this amazing opportunity this young woman has. And wouldn't it be cool if my daughter, my niece, you know, my granddaughter had an opportunity like this. And they embraced me more in that like kind of nurturing uh way. And I think because I had such a good, solid foundation, then my career was just like, I just threw myself into my career. And that's part of my nature, right? So then I'm like working as hard as I can to always get the next rung on the ladder of moving up as a major oil company and you know, maybe had visions of being the president of Texaco someday, you know, like dreams of what you know, what what could it what's possible for me? Big dreams. Um, and I think you know that works for a while. And then things when you're always trying, when I was always trying to fuel my life from validation of others and seeking others, like getting to that next rung, it wasn't as much for me as it was so I could be like, look and see, I'm smart, you know, and getting to the next rung and look and see, I'm, you know, I now I took the classes that I needed to do and the test I need to do, and now I'm a professional engineer. I got a stamp. Isn't that awesome? I'm, you know, like I that gives me value. Look at me. And I think through my whole career, there was this the whole the fuel behind what I was doing was always um looking for approval, validation, worth. Uh, I just wanted to be valued and appreciated. And I just kept thinking that the more that I threw myself into the work, that I would get that someday. And so I worked really hard for a really long time and to the point of burnout in the end. And what happened in the end was I finally learned that no matter how hard I worked, I was never gonna get the love, validation, and approval of the people around me. That's not how it worked. And unfortunately, it was because I felt like I was um it was uh the biggest deal of my life. And I was on a team of of people, and there was a celebration at the end, and I wasn't invited to the celebration because I don't drink. That no matter how hard I worked, I would never like I would never be one of the guys at the end of the day, is was the the message. And it's not that I wanted to be one of the guys, I just wanted to be valued and appreciated. And that was like the wake-up call for me that um you're gonna work yourself to death for this, or are you gonna make a change in your life? And that's when I've decided uh I need to make a change in my life. And that's when I uh sold everything and moved to Hawaii because I thought, well, by moving to Hawaii and getting out of this stressful situation, then it's all up to me. And I can, it's, you know, can find other things that are satisfying and fulfilling. And I threw myself into volunteer activities and starting a woman's group and doing trying to be a health coach and and all the things. Um, but I never figured out how to like fill that void of wanting the validation of others to like fill this hole inside of me. And what I was using instead was exercise and sugar. So I was, I had been doing that with my work uh to self-soothe, um, to numb out, to de-stress. And then I was doing it also in Hawaii, and I didn't realize it until another breaking point. I was like, here I am again, overweight. I need to sign up for a race to make myself be healthy, and I'm unhappy. There's a hole inside of me, and I'm trying to stuff it with something, and I keep doing the same thing over and over, and I can't take it anymore. And what's wrong with me? And that's when I Googled um sugar addiction, because uh, that's where sugar had become such a problem in my life, uh, that I wasn't using alcohol, and um I found that I felt better when I ate sugar. And what I learned was that for some people, uh, sugar is can be a very addictive drug because of our brain's need for a dopamine hit and the way that my brain responds to sugar um is like that of an addict. And when I have a little, that dopamine set point uh re gradually works its way higher and higher to where a little doesn't do it for me anymore. Um and I think, you know, now that I've learned more in this recovery process, that's been my problem all along. Even with the ultra sports, it's a little doesn't do it anymore, I need more. A little doesn't do it anymore, I need more. And in the space of the recovery from sugar addiction is is where I've just learned that I have to get off all the substances and find what's missing from inside me that that's not gonna come from anywhere else. And no food or substance or exercise or anything is gonna replace or you know, gonna fill the void. It has to come from within. And that's kind of the message that. That I'm trying to share.

Larry 1:06:02

Was there also an alcohol problem before that that's why you stopped alcohol?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:08

When I was in college, I was drinking so much that I almost failed out of school. So there was, I went from being a super intelligent, smart, having it all together high school kid to um overconfident, possibly uh college student. And I was in a place that I didn't want to be. I didn't actually want to go to Texas AM. I wanted to be at the University of Texas with all my friends, but I got the scholarship to go to AM, so I had to go there. Uh was what I was told. Um financially, it was the best decision, and I was gonna study petroleum engineering. And I think that, you know, the rebellious part of me was like not accepting that. And I was overconfident. I was like, I'm smart, I don't need to go to class. So I was started drinking and partying more and going back to Austin, cutting class. So by the time I was a junior in college, or maybe my sophomore year, I was um literally on the verge of dropping out. I was on scholastic probation and um the scholarship was taken away. So at this point, that didn't even matter anymore. And um, but it I still kept drinking. I mean, I pulled myself out of it, uh, out of the college, the scholastic probation because I found a community of petroleum engineers who I started studying with. So that's also kind of a theme that I have is when you find a community of support, life is better. When you share these challenges with other people, life is better. Um, when you lift each other up, life is better. But um, you know, I I made it through college and uh onward into my career, and it was um it's baffling how I could be so successful externally and internally, be such a mess and so of just um functioning uh to do what I needed to do to get that approval that I was seeking at the time, but at the same time numbing so hard that uh that it was to the point of um blacking out and oblivion, to the point that on the weekends, after a weekend bender, when I would try to get ready for work on Monday morning, my hands would be shaking when I would be trying to put on my makeup from the withdrawals from the alcohol that I had been drinking over the weekend. So it was a big, big problem. And I um had I guess what the turning point for me was I had it was a memorial or Labor Day weekend, holiday weekend, where I was out drinking the whole like three days and in a blackout state was driving. And I woke up the next morning and had no memory of what happened, but then started getting flashes of pictures in my brain of what I thought happened, and I thought maybe there was blood, and I thought I hit a curb, and I thought maybe did I hit something? Did I hit someone? Did I have a hidden run? Like uh I just my brain was just like the terror, the fear, the un the the still being in the fog of probably still being drunk from the night before was just horrible. And I ran out to my car to see if there was damage on my car, and my car was there and there was no damage. And I start turning on the news to see if there's reports of a hidden run on the local news because I'm terrified that that I've done something and there's there's nothing, I don't see anything. There's no sign of blood on my car, there's no sign of damage on my car. And I realize that I'm saved from that horrible nightmare. Um, that nothing happened, that I was home safe. And that was my wake-up call. That if I didn't stop drinking, I was gonna kill myself or somebody, that my life was unmanageable, and that it was time to stop. And I had gone through phases before. Um, I had a DWI once, I spent a night in jail once, I had broken relationships, I had other warning signs, other red flags in my history that were not that were not the wake-up call that I needed. And it wasn't until this one that I was like, okay, that's it. I I have to stop and I need help. And oh, I found a community of support to help me get through that. Wow. Um, so that was, you know, the the the recovery of that, of course, is it's you know, it's a long process, and there's a lot of healing that happens and a lot of um you know reflection and you know acceptance of self that people go through in recovery. And I think by going through that, I thought that I had taken care of a lot of the things that were missing or hurt inside of me. And it wasn't until see, I stopped drinking in 2001 and I stopped sugaring in around 2021. So it took, you know, it would take another 20 years of of being in that space of trying to fill something that was missing, of not being being able to be okay with myself, um, of finding of trying to find something else to make me feel good and and healthier ways. I mean, I think that the important thing, one important thing to share is that yeah, I you know, I went from alcohol to work, which seems healthier than alcohol, and from work with work to sugar and exercise, which is definitely, you know, these are healthier than than than drinking at the same time. It was still the same cycle, the same pattern, the same um drivers and needs that were fueling those addictions.

Cycling Through Life

Larry 1:12:20

Yeah. And and this this relates obviously to to your book, which is titled Cycling Through Life. And I'm assuming that's not meant to just be literal with your cycling adventures, but also your cycling of addiction that that followed through. That you know, going from the alcohol in your early days to to the work, to then the sugar and exercise. Um can can you tell us a little bit about how you've put all this into your book? Um again, it's called Cycling Through Life. Um tell us a little bit about what's in the book and how all of these stories you've been sharing are are related to that.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:01

Yeah, thank you, Larry. Um you know, it's uh it started with uh my cycling adventures and and really the the driving force but behind why I'm doing it now was after I did PvP, people were like, you should write a book about all these things that you've done. And I've I've heard that at different times too. And when I start started writing the story of PvP, it was like, well, it's so much more than just the cycling stories. It's my whole life. Like, how could I do PvP? How could I do all the things that I needed to do to even qualify for PvP? Well, I it's like I have to tell the backstory of how I got to have the resilience and the determination and the perseverance and the things, and and and it came from the very beginning. So that's how the book evolved into cycling through life and being it's a teaching memoir. And it is uh going back to um starts in my childhood when guess what? We used sugar to feel good. We were given sugar for everything, like at the birthday parties. Oh, you feel bad here, have some sugar. Oh, you fell off your bike and bushed at your lip. Let's go get ice cream. Oh, mom and dad left you at grandma's. Well, let's have Sundays, you know, like sugar was a huge part of my emotional regulation and support growing up. And I think that it is for a lot of people. Um, it's not uncommon. I think that um with people with addiction, oftentimes and in the sugar recovery community that I'm in, we have a lot of overlap with people who've gone from sugar as even babies. People had like K Row syrup or Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew in their baby bottles. You know, these are the stories that I hear. This is this really happens. So we're raised on it. We're um it's in our system, and then we we we may turn to harder drugs if we need something more, like those maybe third of us people who are really addicted to sugar kind of are. And, you know, we so we've gone through our cycles of alcohol, we've gone through our cycles of other um other addictions. You know, there's people with sex addiction, with shopping, with video games, with, you know, you fill in the blank with gambling with any of these things. Like in this recovery community that I'm in now, it's we've all gone through these cycles. Um and it seems as I in my recovery, as I see these patterns and I see that I'm not alone, it became important to me to then share my story to get it out so that other people know that they're also not alone and not broken. Because in the sugar recovery, there's this whole community of people that are like, I've tried my whole life to diet this away and I can't do it. I can't stop. Like the complete frustration with I'm successful in other areas of my life and I can't stop eating the sugar, and sometimes eating the food, like there's food addiction and sugar addiction and other things that are coupled with that. And it's really easy to feel like there's some, there's gotta be something wrong with me. And for me, and finding that, well, it's actually not my fault that I can't stop eating the sugar, and there's a lot going on underneath, and there's a lot of science that supports the brain response, the the hijacking of the brain, neurotransmitters, how our dopamine set level kind of gets raised with a tolerance like it does with alcohol. Like there's so much science that supports it that that was like, I need to help people understand that um that these things that can that make us as great and awesome as we are, especially people that are you know go-getters, go all out, you know, that that they can also become, you know, harmful to us, and that there's a reason and that there's a way through it. And the thing that by the time I get around to the sugar addiction part of my life, it's like there's nothing else that I can use to kind of numb out. Because the other thing was, sorry, I'm backing up on this, but when I got to the sugar addiction part, I actually had to change the way I fueled for the ultra stuff because I didn't want to be using sugar. Like part of how I fueled for ultra was I'll eat as much sugar as I can. Yes, I love goose, I love gels, I love stinger waffles, I love all the things, all the things that people are like, oh, I can't eat another one of those. I was like, I will race to have a you know, fill in the blank hammer gel, uh the apple, apple cinnamon hammer gels, like apple pie fill into me. Like I loved it. And then I when I race, I want a whole cheesecake and a dozen cupcakes, please. Pure frosting, yes. Like I that's how I was. So when I went off sugar, then I had to change my whole body's energy management system. Then I had to ask myself, do I even still really enjoy exercising and ultra stuff, or was I just doing it so that I could have the sugar? Like it, you know, there's kind of the whole discovery process in there. And in the end, you know, trying to figure out also with the ultra stuff, am I just using it to not be alone with myself? Because by having all these events, by always lining up the next event, the next thing, the next thing, you know, the the whole process of the qualification for Paris Press Paris, and you have to do all these brevets and have to travel all these places, like by always having myself occupied with all that stuff, I never had to just be alone with my thoughts. And because I always had something else to focus on. So I was like, okay, if I strip all this stuff away, then what am I left with? And that actually is a kind of scary place to go. Like, does do I really enjoy this ultra stuff, or am I doing it to escape? And and even, you know, if I can go, if I spend seven or eight hours on the bike, then I don't have to deal with people. Like, is that what I'm doing? You know, there's a lot that it kind of got.

Larry 1:19:16

And what what was your answer for that?

SPEAKER_02 1:19:19

Uh I think so. I think so. I think that it was uh an escapism. And now I'm really, really working on um a more moderate and balanced lifestyle where I don't always have to have the next thing. That's the end of the book, is about like after PvP, uh people were always like, okay, what's next? You know, because I just kept like the next the next bar, the next bar. And when I finished PvP and I was like, that didn't do it for me anymore. Like it wasn't the thing, it wasn't the fireworks in my heart. It wasn't like, okay, yeah, now you did that. Now what's next? Like I didn't have that feeling. And that was the time for those. Like, I was like, okay, it's time for me to really step back and figure out what is important, where do I want to put my focus and my energy? And maybe my what's next isn't a race or something bigger, or now I want to do RAM or something like that. Like that might be the logical thing. Um, but maybe my what's next is something like um having a balanced life and going on vacation. That's oh, actually, what's next was I went on vacation and it wasn't a race. Um, so you know, like things like that are started to to come into my vision and also the knowing that I don't need to be out there always, I don't have to have the next medal or the next accomplishment or the next big thing to be loved and lovable, uh, and to know that the love that I need is within. So the kind of underscoring the whole sugar addiction and recovery is at the bottom of it, when we can't really can't stop what could be missing is self-love. If we don't love ourselves enough to take care of ourselves, then that that's something we really gotta look at. And that's where the breakthrough happens and the magic can happen.

Larry 1:21:30

And and you're also working as um as a coach now to to try and help people with this as well, right? Tell me how how does that how does that fit into all of this that you're doing?

SPEAKER_02 1:21:42

Well, it's um and it's really amazing. I was I've been in a program for three years. Um that is what introduced me to the science of sugar addiction. Uh, Mike Collins is the founder of the program. It used to be called just sugardetox.com. It's been evolving over time. I'm less engaged with that community and I do the coaching on my own under Ultra Health House. Um, and I'm grateful to that community for the resources and also am still connected to that community through uh meetings. So I actually host recovery meetings on um one night a week for people that are recovering from sugar addiction. And I've been doing that for I've been hosting meetings for two and a half years. And again, it's the community of support, the knowing you're not alone, the um being able to share where you are. If it's a bad day and you're craving sugar, it's to help you not use, or if it's just a day that it's you're having a bad day and you just need somebody to listen. Like that's these meetings are are for that. Uh emotional regulation and support through connection with a community of people who love and support you, and that's been life-changing, really. And um, so I have the the those meetings, and then I have my one-on-one coaching where I help people and in the recovery process, it does it starts with food, but that's just the beginning. And in getting off the sugar, there's a specific detox formula to help you. And I think by uh coaching people through that, getting through stringing together some days of abstinence from sugar, starting to let the brain neurotransmitters recalibrate. Um, there's so much value in that. And then coaching through uh, okay, now that we're plear of sugar, now what do we do? Um, what do we do with ourselves? What do we do with our emotions? How do we find healthier ways to regulate without turning to food or sugar? That's what I do in my coaching. And the results that I've seen are people's lives change. Like my life changed. I was in a I was doing uh a job, like I finally, since I was in Hawaii and I wasn't a successful health coach for as long as I was, I actually went back and got an engineering job here because I was like, I've just kind of gave up on the dream. And after I got clear of sugar, I was like, no, I'm not giving up on my dream. My dream is to help people and be of service and not to just be an engineer and and have a job. You know, I want, I want to really pursue this and I'm passionate about it. And and I this was important enough. Like this was life-changing enough and different enough that I was like, this message has to get out there into the world that we're not alone, that we're there's nothing wrong or broken. But if you can't eat, there's so many people that can't stop eating sugar. Like it's really, really a huge, huge problem. And people joke about it all the time. Oh, yeah, I'm a sugar addict. And some people joke about it and they aren't. And some people joke about it and they are. Not everybody is a sugar addict by any means, just like not everybody is an alcoholic. And I acknowledge that and recognize that and appreciate that. But for the people that are really, really desperate and don't know what to do and don't know how to get over it and are willing to try something, like when when you're at that point that you're willing to really do something different because you're so desperate, that's where I was, and that's who I tried to help.

Larry 1:25:16

And and I guess for you, as I mentioned off the top, um, you're you've now like, as they say, bought the farm. You're you're you're taking that one step further and and you're producing your own stuff. What's what's on the farm that you bought?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:31

Oh, Larry. It is true. Um, I live uh on a farm. I personally choose not to eat fruit. Um, fruit to me is a trigger. Anything sweet for me is a trigger. Yeah. Well, it's it's it's that if I uh here's the thing. So what's on my farm is oranges, tangelos, lemons, limes, mangoes, papayas, coconuts, very exotic tropical fruits like mame, which I had never even heard of before. Um, what else is another? Oh, sugar apple. Like when I go to farmers markets and I tell some of our favorite vendors what I've got, they're like, oh my gosh, that's my favorite fruit ever. Like black sapoti fruit, which is uh chocolate, it's supposed to be like chocolate pudding fruit, like all these things. So my farm is very dangerous for me. Because like I'm like, I won't eat one orange, I'll eat three oranges. I won't eat one um mame, I'll eat, you know, is I just have a if I have sweet, it triggers cravings for me. And it's just easier for me to stay on track if I don't. So um I'm really committed to food food sustainability in Hawaii. And so part of my um um vision for what I'm doing at the farm is to be able to provide, you know, plenty of oranges for, you know, kids in school, you know, to uh to get into the community, um the community CSA community supported agriculture boxes that people who want to support local farmers uh can buy local fresh produce that's you know made pesticide free and that kind of thing, or again, or donated. I mean, it's not about the profitability, it's more about this amazing land that I have and what it has to offer to the community and sharing that. In fact, like this weekend, we have a new place that's making ice cream, which I don't eat ice cream. Um, but they're doing their um their kickoff at the Kehoe Farmers Market in town, and we're bringing a box of of our um oranges and lemons and limes for them to uh use and mangoes and papayas. We got a lot of papayas for them to use in their um as they launch their business. And that's we're it's a donation. It's like, please you see what you can do with these. You know, it's part of supporting another business that is also committed to um like healthy. Foods in Hawaii and that kind of thing. So yeah.

Larry 1:28:04

Just another community you're involved in.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:06

Yeah. I do aspire to have chickens and eggs, but there's a whole lot of work that has to be done on the property first. I'm doing there's a lot of cleanup. So this was a it was an orchard, but it hasn't been worked in over three years. So the whole irrigation system is offline right now. The trees were all overgrown with vines and um like all the fruit trees were overgrown with vines and um invasive like species of trees and plants.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:34

And so it it's um a pretty big process of restoring restoring and revitalizing.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:41

But that said, the trees are going off. They're still happy. And I love to go talk to them. So I talk to the trees, and especially like the special ones that are the mamays were just like it's such a special gift. So I've given that one some extra love and moringa. Moringa is actually a superfood that I do use. It has a lot of um beneficial antioxidants and micronutrients, and that's a tree. And people may have heard of moringa powder, moringa leaves, there's teas, and people often add it to their smoothies, but I um will take the leaves and add them to my eggs in the morning.

Larry 1:29:16

Soon to be farm fresh eggs.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:19

Yeah.

Larry 1:29:21

Well, this this has been great talking to you. Um, what about the book now? Do we know? Uh tell us uh who's publishing it, when it's going to be coming out, that kind of thing, and I'll make sure to put some links in the show notes and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:33

Okay, thank you. Um, I have a website, Ingridhillhouse.com, that'll be tracking the book's progress. And it is, I have it with Hasmark Publishing for um targeting release for the end of this year. I'm also going down a like a another path with Hay House Publishing that I'm very excited about and working that a parallel path there. But with Hasmark, I I see that coming out by the end of the year, and we'll be excited to um keep everybody up to date um through the website or you know, different uh social media channels. My Instagram in Grid Hill House Health is also another good place to keep tabs on how that's going. But I'm super excited. Yeah, cycling through life. Um the subtitle is uh your roadmap for going all out, shifting gears, and how to not get run over.

Larry 1:30:26

So that's oh that's that's excellent.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:29

Yeah.

Larry 1:30:30

Was it was that written by you?

SPEAKER_02 1:30:32

Yes.

Larry 1:30:35

Oh, cool. Um, yeah, so I'll make sure I put your links to your your website, your Instagram, and and all that stuff in the show notes so people can check that out. Thank thank you for coming and uh having this discussion about all the cycles that have gone through your life and adding to the bucket list of uh adventures out there for people to take a look at. It's been great catching up with you again. And uh thanks so much for coming.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:00

Thank you, Larry. It's been awesome. I appreciate it. Awesome questions and and thanks for the opportunity.