Episode 26 – Boundaries in your home

It can be relatively easy to think about needing to have boundaries to protect your marriage with people outside of your home as was the case in Episode 4 on "How far is too far?" https://www.buzzsprout.com/1635340/9054209  What about creating boundaries with people living or interacting with you in your home in order to safeguard your marriage? Listen to today's "Fun & Away Together" podcast episode to learn this and more. 

Transcript

This could be a very familiar topic as we covered it in a previous episode entitled "How far is too far?" The issue of needing to have boundaries is so that one can have clear guidelines rather than shifting goal posts depending on the situation.

The question being posed today is: "Do you have boundaries in your home that can protect your marriage?" It is a good thing to focus on boundaries relating to the people in the "outside world" like your office colleagues, neighbors, fellow church mates and the like; but what about with those people within your home? These are for example: the house help, the driver, the gardener, the watchman or even a relative who is living with you such as a cousin, aunt, uncle or parent. 

Boundaries can be likened to fences that create a protective barrier around the area they are fencing. Without a fence, any person or animal can access an area and damage it or even loot it. A boundary can therefore be seen as something protective, for without it; violations arise when there are outcomes that are not positive to the person feeling offended or violated. 

If you take for instance mode of dress or what is worn by an employee such as a house help; this could be a boundary. If as a wife you feel offended by what your house help is wearing in front of your husband; then it means this has not been expressly given as an instruction at the time the house help was employed. Alternatively, giving a uniform solves this issue as you dictate the mode of dress, not the house help. This is setting a boundary. By not wearing the uniform, the house help can be questioned without any feeling of discomfort or awkwardness as the boundary had already been set which is: what she wears while working in your home. 

What of the issue of a relative living with you? As a couple, one could decide a boundary to lay out is: "No marital discussions relating to the two of you are to be had with the relative or they have no authority in disciplining your children. 

It really is an open book on which boundaries  are to be placed in order to protect your marriage and your family. The key thing is to decide what they are, as a couple. 

A husband is said to have hired a female driver for his wife because he felt boundaries would be crossed with a male driver based on the length of time the wife would spend with her driver during the day while carrying out errands. Another wife at a previous getaway said that her bedroom is out of bounce for the house help. She does her own cleaning of the bedroom. Her children also have limited access to their bedroom. For her, their bedroom is an area where her and her husband can have their own space and privacy away from the rest of the household. 

The approach is endless, just ensure the boundaries are there, for without them, conflicts and violations occur which could potentially harm your marriage. 

Setting boundaries requires thought and prudence into what outcomes that you are trying to avoid. So take the time out to think it through while on a date or even while on a getaway with your spouse on what boundaries to set. 

That's all for today, thank you for taking the time to listen. Please share this podcast: "Fun & Away Together", I look forward to having you again next week on Monday.....remember whatever you do together, Keep it Fun!