In this episode, Lauren launches a new series on staff sustainability and explores the hidden costs of burnout and turnover in trauma-impacted organizations. She shares why quick fixes like pizza parties or gift cards fall flat and how deeper systemic change is needed.
Through the lens of the nervous system, Lauren reframes burnout as a collective issue rather than an individual failing. She explains how creating cultures of belonging, safety, and regulation can shift organizations from survival toward thriving.
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In this Q&A episode, Lauren tackles some of the most pressing challenges organizations face including burnout, high turnover, and behavior struggles in both staff and students. She explains how the Five Ives framework, rooted in nervous system science and trauma-informed care, offers practical micro-strategies that boost morale, improve regulation, and create sustainable cultural shifts without adding extra burdens.
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In this episode, Lauren unpacks how nervous system regulation shapes workplace culture. She explains how stress and micromanagement spread through teams, and why leaders who model calm can shift an entire organization. Lauren also shares simple rituals like intentional meeting openings, midday resets, and predictable rhythms that help teams move from survival mode to thriving together.
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In this episode, Jessica explores how nervous system regulation shows up across the many roles we play, whether we’re leading, teaching, parenting, or supporting others on the front lines. She explains why our nervous system doesn’t switch hats when we do, and how our presence impacts the people around us in every setting.
Jessica offers practical strategies for bringing calm, steady energy into classrooms, meetings, and family life. From co-regulating with students to repairing after rupture with kids or colleagues, she shows how small shifts in tone, posture, and pacing can make a powerful difference.
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In this heartfelt episode, Jessica turns toward a question many of us have wrestled with: Why wasn’t I good enough? Drawing from her own experiences with rejection, criticism, and seasons of struggle, she reflects on how painful moments can shape our identity, hold us back, and make us doubt our worth.
Jessica invites listeners to reframe those experiences not as proof of inadequacy, but as protection from what was never meant for them. Through stories, encouragement, and gentle guidance, she reminds us that we are enough exactly as we are, and that our unique light and purpose are needed in the world.
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In this episode, Lauren explores the hidden power of daily rhythms and how they shape our ability to stay calm, focused, and resilient. From sleep and meal times to email habits and screen use, she shows how predictable patterns support the nervous system and how disruptions can quietly lead to stress and dysregulation.
She shares why building consistent routines matters, offers examples of small shifts like winding down without screens or adding rhythmic movement, and explains practical ways to create rhythms that work for both adults and children.
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Transitions are everywhere from shifting between tasks at work to moving through family routines and they can quietly dysregulate us. In this episode, Lauren shares why these moments feel so disruptive and how tiny rituals can anchor them, bringing calm and predictability.
Discover simple, sustainable practices like a breath after a meeting, calming music before bed, or a quick stretch at the end of the day that turn daily shifts into opportunities for grounding and resilience.
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In this episode, Lauren takes a thoughtful look at the often overlooked impact our environments have on regulation and well-being. She explores how seemingly small elements like lighting, layout, sound, and even clutter can either support or sabotage our nervous systems. Drawing from both personal examples and brain-based strategies, Lauren shows how to create spaces that cue safety and calm, whether at home, in a classroom, or in an office. She also shares quick, practical ways to regulate when you cannot change the space itself, from portable sensory tools to small rituals that signal a shift.
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In this episode, Lauren dives into the real world challenges of creating a morning routine that supports nervous system regulation, especially when life feels chaotic. She breaks down the morning into four key parts and offers practical, compassionate strategies for bringing more calm and intention to each one, from wake up rituals to the first interaction of the workday.
Whether your mornings start in a sprint or you’re just looking for a little more stability, this conversation reminds us that regulation isn’t about perfection. It’s about starting small, finding what works for you, and building from there. Lauren also shares a peek into her own routine and struggles, making this episode as relatable as it is actionable.
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In this episode, Lauren explores what it really means to regulate in the midst of everyday chaos. Building on the Five Ives framework she and her partner developed, she explains why common strategies like breathwork or meditation often fall flat when we are overwhelmed and in survival mode. Regulation, she reminds us, is not about staying calm all the time. It is about noticing when we are dysregulated and learning how to recover quickly and effectively.
Lauren shares practical, real world tools that do not require extra time, just a shift in intention. From humming in the car to squeezing your toes while standing in line, she offers simple ways to pair regulation with routines you already have. Whether you are barely making it to lunch or trying to prevent burnout, this episode offers accessible, meaningful strategies that meet you right where you are.
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Today Lauren is looking at what drives power struggles with kids and how we can respond in ways that build cooperation rather than conflict. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or work with children in any capacity, the strategies shared here offer a helpful shift away from control-based approaches and toward connection-driven responses.
Lauren unpacks why so many common discipline tactics fall short and offers practical tools like giving voice and choice, using visual supports, and planning ahead for tricky moments. Through personal examples and clear, actionable insights, she reminds us that change takes time, but it’s absolutely possible—and worth it—for stronger relationships and calmer environments.
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If you've been questioning why traditional consequences often fail to create meaningful behavior change, this is for you. Lauren walks through the whys of this failure and how traditional consequences may harm relationships and regulation. She unpacks common disciplinary practices and explains how these strategies can backfire when they’re disconnected from emotional support and repair. Instead of punishing behaviors, Lauren encourages us to understand the nervous system and the unmet needs driving those behaviors.
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In this episode, Lauren explores the importance of adult emotional regulation when navigating children’s challenging behaviors. She emphasizes that outbursts aren’t personal—they’re rooted in a dysregulated nervous system. By staying calm and composed, adults can create a sense of safety that allows children to begin co-regulating. Lauren shares practical strategies like pausing before responding, reframing the moment, and using grounding techniques to manage your own emotional state. She reminds us that regulation doesn’t mean you aren’t frustrated—it means choosing not to let that frustration lead.
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Today Lauren is setting the stage for a new series that encourages a shift from managing behavioral chaos to building meaningful connections, especially in classrooms. Lauren uses examples from her personal experience to illustrate how the idea of connection as biologically essential and the foundation for all emotional regulation shows up in the real world.
Lauren offers simple, practical routines to foster connection: consistent morning greetings, regular emotional check-ins, and environmental cues like soft lighting and cozy corners. She also suggests using humor or music during transitions to create moments of connection. These practices send safety signals to the brain, making regulation and re-direction more effective. Over time, small, consistent changes can reduce dysregulation and help children feel more secure and supported.
Try it at Home Tip: Choose one connection ritual for the age group you work with and implement it in your classroom.
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In this episode, Lauren continues exploring the connection between behavior and the nervous system, focusing on the stress responses known as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. She encourages us to look beyond the surface of behaviors like hitting, screaming, or shutting down and ask what’s driving them. These reactions aren’t choices—they’re subconscious responses to feeling unsafe.
Lauren breaks down how each state might show up in children: fight can look like defiance or aggression, flight might look like restlessness or avoidance, freeze can show up as silence or disconnection, and fawn often appears as people-pleasing or over-apologizing. Rather than correcting or controlling these behaviors, she urges adults to meet children where they are. Regulation must come before reasoning. When we name what we see, notice the cues, and respond with calm and care, we help children feel safe and can start to make change.
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Steven Porges- Polyvagal Theory
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Behavior is a signal that we need to interpret, but it's not the problem. Lauren challenges us to stop and ask a different question when we see extreme behaviors: I wonder what happened that is driving this?
Lauren takes us through why traditional approaches that focus on controlling negative behaviors don't work. We need to shift our focus to address the root cause or the unmet needs. Instead of correcting behaviors, preventatively or reactively address the underlying cause.
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In this episode, Lauren and Jessica explore the final stage of the Five Ives framework: Hive. This stage is all about meaningful connection—both personally and organizationally—after individuals have reached a more stable and grounded state. When someone enters the Hive stage, they often feel ready and energized to engage with others, to gather in community, and to offer support from a place of wholeness.
On a broader scale, Hive represents the capacity of organizations to truly serve and uplift others. The most powerful communities are built intentionally, often through informal, organic connection rather than rigid structure. Lauren and Jessica remind us to stay present, move slowly, and maintain healthy boundaries. And importantly, if something isn’t working—whether in your personal connections or your organizational efforts—don’t double down. Pause, reassess, and realign.
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In this episode, Lauren and Jessica explore the fourth stage of the Five Ives framework—Thrive. In the Thrive phase, individuals and organizations are aligned with their goals and truly "living the dream." Thriving looks like healthy communication and the ability to regulation emotions effectively. It builds on the healing work of earlier stages and emphasizes the importance of social connection for long-term well-being. At this stage, fulfillment, alignment, and meaningful relationships are at the core of sustained success.
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In this episode, Lauren and Jessica walk us through the third stage of the Five Ives—Strive. They unpack what it means to be in the Strive phase, both for organizations and individuals. For organizations, a positive culture in this stage is built through intentional inclusion and collaboration at all levels, supported by transparent decision-making and guidance from external coaches. When people feel heard and informed, they’re more engaged and motivated to move forward.
Strive is about pacing yourself and setting smart, attainable micro-goals. Lauren and Jessica emphasize the importance of realistic, habit-based steps that support bigger, audacious dreams. Progress doesn’t have to be loud or fast—it just has to be steady and intentional. You are capable of big things—just keep it simple and stay consistent.
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Today Lauren and Jessica dive into the second stage of the Five Ives framework: Revive. After becoming more self-aware and stepping out of pure survival mode, the journey into Revive is all about beginning the slow, intentional process of healing. It’s not quick or flashy—in fact, healing is inherently soft, gentle, and gradual. This stage is about rewiring our brains and taking consistent micro-steps forward, both individually and as an organization.
They highlight five key areas—food, hydration, sleep, social interaction, and movement—as foundational to this healing process. Even simple actions like adding one nutritious food to your plate, drinking more water, or getting ten minutes of daily movement can make a real impact. For organizations, supporting Revive might look like offering meditation spaces, encouraging real breaks, or fostering safe spaces for social connection.
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In this episode, Lauren and Jessica reintroduce the Five Ives—Survive, Revive, Strive, Thrive, and Hive—and take a closer look at the first step: Survive. Many people are unknowingly stuck in a state of survival, shaped by trauma, chronic stress, the lingering effects of the pandemic, political unrest, and the constant stream of heavy information. Most don’t even realize they’re operating from this place, but the signs are clear: constant exhaustion, mood swings, avoidance, and a gut feeling that something just isn’t right.
Survival mode doesn’t stop with individuals—it shows up in organizations too. High turnover, disengagement, and burnout often indicate that an entire workplace is stuck in survival. When people within an organization are just trying to get by, the organization itself reflects that same struggle. But there’s hope. Whether you're an individual or part of a team, recognizing survival mode is the first step toward meaningful change—and you don’t have to stay stuck. We can help.
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Lauren and Jessica, education professionals and creators of the Five Ives program, walk us through their journey to starting the Five Ives. Witnessing students' disruptive behaviors as trauma responses, they realized their lack of training. Years of watching students' trauma responses expressed as negative behaviors revealed a broader issue: burnout among those working in flawed systems. This prompted Jessica and Lauren to take a deep dive into ways to support frontline workers and foster trauma-informed organizations.
They introduce the Five Ives framework for well-being: Survive (self-awareness), Revive (self-care and regulation), Strive (intentional growth), Thrive (engaged and regulated work), and Hive (helping others and connecting). Five Ives aims to create sustainable, trauma-informed organizational transformation through these stages.
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In this episode of the Returning to Us Podcast, Lauren announces the show’s move to the Five IVES website and wraps up the nervous system series with a look at hormones. Cortisol and Adrenaline—our “stress squad”—can throw us off balance, but Oxytocin, the “love hormone,” helps restore calm and bring us back into our Window of Tolerance.
Lauren shares simple, science-backed ways to boost Oxytocin—like hugs, eye contact, and laughter—that support mood, sleep, and nervous system regulation. She reminds us that while hormones impact how we feel, they don’t have to take over. Small, mindful actions can help us reclaim calm and clarity.
If you haven't already, check out Five Ives to see how strategies like this can be applied to adults, especially in the workplace. Five Ives works with staff in high burnout jobs to help them incorporate regulation strategies into their daily routines.
Try it at home tip: Try any of the tips suggested in the last few episodes about nervous system regulation.
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In this episode, Lauren dives into the importance of Heart Rate Variability (HRV) and how it reflects the state of your nervous system. She shares seven practical ways to support and improve HRV—like cold water exposure, humming, singing, rhythm, eye movement, laughter, caring touch, and play-based activities. Her message is clear: if you're feeling tired or overwhelmed, your nervous system is asking for help. The good news? You now have some simple tools to support it. Don't worry about being perfect—just aim for progress.
If you haven't already, check out Five Ives to see how strategies like this can be applied to adults, especially in the workplace. Five Ives works with staff in high burnout jobs to help them incorporate regulation strategies into their daily routines.
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If you’ve ever felt frozen in stress or stuck in people-pleasing mode, you’re not alone. But knowing why you freeze or fawn is just the first step—the real transformation comes from learning how to shift into safety and resilience.
Your nervous system isn’t meant to stay stuck—it’s designed to adapt. And with the right tools, you can start creating a sense of safety from the inside out.
If you haven't already, check out Five Ives to see how strategies like this can be applied to adults, especially in the workplace. Five Ives works with staff in high burnout jobs to help them incorporate regulation strategies into their daily routines.
Try at Home Tip: Pick one small way to practice nervous system flexibility from some of the options provided in this episode.
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