Drawing Strength: Dorothy Kolb's Story of Transformation and Growth

Dorothy Kolb, a seasoned operations and finance executive with over 20 years of experience in sports, media, and creative agency spaces, shares her journey from working at CBS, Fox Sports, NBC, Scripps Networks, and CBS Radio, to founding her own business as an outsourced CFO. A single mother of four, Dorothy navigates challenges of balancing her career and family life, leveraging her diverse skill set to help businesses grow financially. She also touches on her personal experience with imposter syndrome, balancing multiple responsibilities, and the importance of self-care. Dorothy emphasizes empowering women to understand their financials and make informed decisions for their business growth. Her story is one of determination, resilience, and evolving through different phases of life and career.

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Transcript

[00:00:00] Hey, hey, F50 women. Thank you so much for joining again today. Today we're with Dorothy Kolb an operations and finance executive with over 20 years of experience in sports, media, and creative agency spaces, including production, operations. And finance roles at CBS sports and Fox sports and NBC and scripts networks and CBS radio as when, as well as foundational accounting start, which I don't understand what that means, but that's okay.

Foundational accounting start at Deloitte in New York city. She's a single mother of four. Four amazing children. And she has coached boys basketball and cheer from them from the sidelines for lacrosse, basketball, soccer, baseball 

And I hear, that you're a lover of wine I don't know, 2020 might've been the year of wine. Might still be. Yeah. So first I'll just say welcome, Dorothy. Thank you so much for joining us. 

thank you. I'm so glad to be here. [00:01:00] 

And that idea of wine.

I know when the pandemic happened, I was in the grocery store and, everybody's trying to stock up on everything. And there was a young man in front of me that said, he just went and got four cases of wine. And I was thinking, 

man, yeah, I must be missing something. That's when I realized this is going to be the year of, alcohol.

Soothe ourselves a little bit. No kidding. So I'm sure a lot of people started appreciating wine about that time. Yeah. I don't know that the wine industry saw a dip. 

No, not at all. the liquor stores were essential, to keep open. The hospitals and the liquor stores and the drug stores.

thank you for joining us. I would love for you to Familiarize our audience with you as a younger girl. What did you want to be? What were you like? Tell us a little bit about the start and how all of this amazing stuff started. 

Oh my gosh, well, my dad worked for NBC for 40 years.

So I grew up in the entertainment industry. I had initially wanted to be on air, but my dad was very much a [00:02:00] behind the camera technical operations guy. So he really discouraged me, from doing that. And I was a music major when I started college.

And then as a snotty 18 year old, I told my dad, I didn't want to do that. And he said, you have to pick something. So accounting was the first thing listed. And he said, fine. And I said, fine. And then before I knew it, I was, you know, working at a big eight at that time or big four firm now in New York this is my life now.

Yeah. But, you know, but I had, I, you know, kind of stuck in the entertainment industry and because I knew so many people I was able to branch out of finance and accounting and do the more fun stuff like production and operations for a long time. which was great because further on in my career, it came in super handy, my old friends will joke that I always said I would have four sons.

And here I have four sons, so part of my younger self, shines through all the way. 

you can't decide that they're all going to be boys. So, no, that wasn't. so you went into finance and [00:03:00] then you got into entertainment.

You said that one helped the other. How did that happen? Tell us about how that works because you get entrenched in that industry and to shift out. that's kind of a big deal because some people think I can't, 

I credit that when I first started to work for CBS right out of my job with Deloitte it was a finance accounting job I was working for CBS corporate and then I moved to CBS.

sports. when I was there, I made friends with all the production people because I could speak the language having been around it my whole life, most finance and accounting people, especially early on in their career in entertainment, have no idea, 

It's just numbers on the spreadsheet. 

But 

I could talk the lingo. I knew what they were speaking about. The older ones that work there actually remembered my dad from NBC. So I had this connection. So when I started to voice the, you know, I would really like to do something other than this accounting stuff.

They were really open to it. Come be a production assistant on this job. be an assistant producer on that job It was actually just friends that were like, [00:04:00] yeah, cool. I'd love to work with you. they let me do it. that was great. now, having swung back into finance and accounting, I can tackle it from the perspective that my clients are looking at it from, they want to get something great out there.

They have to do it, as efficiently and cost effectively as possible. But I also understand if you slash too much, you slash, your end product. even when I was in upper management of accounting, I understood if we ask them to make this cut in their budget, this is what's going to happen and what it's going to look like.

it gave me a lot of credibility with, the more production operations people, because they knew that I knew what I was asking them to do and would fight for them to not have to do that if possible. 

Okay. So explain to us what you do now. Help us to understand.

What that is, how you help and who you help and why, 

well, that's a little bit of a journey too, but I've been doing this for about, 

please tell us about the journey. So go as long as you want, how far back, wherever it starts [00:05:00] best for you. 

in 2014, I.

Separated from my ex husband and, luckily got a job. This was with a company that was virtual long before it was like super, you know, they've been, they were virtual from like 1998 on so long before everybody else was doing it. So I lucked into the CFO job that was remote and I could work from home.

I typically. Worked in DC Los Angeles or New York and had long commutes. I was looking at being a single mom of four sons and I couldn't be gone from seven o'clock in the morning until seven or eight at night. so I fell into this job, which was fantastic.

after about four and a half years, they were running out of money and the writing was on the wall. I was the highest paid employee and the CFO, so I could see it coming. I got laid off from that job. it wasn't a surprise. It hurt a lot, of course, you know, it was one of those typical Friday afternoon at three o'clock, all three owners on the, you know, Hey, can we just get a quick phone call with you?

And I was like, look, this is not my first barbecue. Yeah, I know where this is going. [00:06:00] So, but here I was like the single mom I literally had when I left my marriage. 2, 000 to my name. I did not get alimony. I do not get child support, nothing. So this was all on me. And I was panicked. I was like, what am I going to do?

And I didn't want to get another job where I had to commute. 

that point. 

So five years ago they were between 10 and 

15. Wow. 

And 

important stages. 

I say that all the time that that is where it really becomes important. anybody could tell your five year old to put the books back on the shelf or whatever, but it's when they're 15 that it really becomes, you know, your influences far more important.

Yeah, 

I went on to Upwork for freelancers. And put it out there. I will do bookkeeping. I was a CFO, With 20 years of experience. my first job was bookkeeping. my second one a few months after that was as a controller, but it was also part time.

I was filling in where I could. And then slowly, built my business up. what I do now is I'm an outsource [00:07:00] CFO. I work with creative and production companies when they're usually around hitting a million dollars a year in revenue and up where they know they need that strategy.

they have a bookkeeper and accounting person, they have a CPA to do their taxes. And they're like, no one is helping me get this to the next level from a finance perspective. Cause they're asking those people to do it and that's not their job. that's when I come in and help them figure out, where the, Efficiencies can be how to get better processes in place.

How do we start looking to the future and projecting out, if you add this revenue, if you add these people, the biggest question I have with people is when can I hire, who can I hire? when does this start to become something that I have people working and I don't have to be so involved in the day to day.

So it's me, modeling that out and figuring out with them. How to make that look and how to manage their cash. 

it's 

a lot of business owners manage their cash by looking at their bank account in the morning. So that's what we 

do. 

But guess what?

Tomorrow payroll is hitting, And it's [00:08:00] like, yeah, it'll look different 

tomorrow. Right. That's, at least for me, when I think of starting. A business that's sort of the scary part because it feels like there's something so much bigger to having a larger company I don't even know what that looks like at this point, but I feel like when you know it, you just have power, 

when you know 

it.

It's a really cool place to be when your client makes that leap. And all of a sudden they're like, Whoa, this is taking off. And Oh my God, it's actually working 

How do you make that work? And who do you get to make it work? 

the right people in the right seats on the bus you know, I've had clients who have amazing people working for them, but they're in the wrong role and they just can't flourish. And it's frustrating for the business owners, frustrating for the employee because Nobody feels like they're getting everything they should be.

Okay. that's a point I'd love to talk to you about getting the right people in the right seats. I was part of a company once in the, the, the president came down to [00:09:00] our state and he was saying, we're going to get the right people in the right seats. I was so excited. but nothing ever happened.

But what does that look like? And I'm thinking of it from a perspective of the listeners wanting to get themselves in the right place as women 50 and over or anyone who's listening. And then those Who want to start businesses or have businesses? How do I, move my people around to get them in the right seats?

How do I know that? Maybe you can just give us some insight. I know it's a bigger deal than just five minute conversation, but how do we do that? 

What does that look, 

what does the person in the wrong seat look like? 

The person in the wrong seat. I mean, I always advise two things when you're hiring somebody.

One is the cultural and personality fit. is this somebody who's going to bring a good attitude to, the team, I almost find that more important than the credentials they bring because somebody could be amazing on paper and amazing at a different organization, but at yours is just not working.

So it's really [00:10:00] important that as a business owner, I've had clients who are intimidated by an employee that works for them because they have better credentials than the business owner. And it's like, that's not going to work. I think when you have somebody in the wrong seat, they often try to do things outside of their core essential duties.

So you'll often find them like, my role is, finance, right? I'm the accountant for the business. But I keep dipping my hand into operations and how we can ship stuff better to people or HR and how we can recruit better, or I'm writing copy for our marketing materials.

If someone starts to work way outside of their space and not doing their core. Responsibilities or not doing them well, but they're doing all these other things that's one of the first indicators, is this person not interested or should they be somewhere else in this organization.

I'm interested in what you just said, because I have advised people to do just that you want to raise up in the company. Sort of, find gaps in your [00:11:00] company and, and do that. But maybe from a, from the leader's perspective, they may see you as, Hmm, maybe she doesn't really love her job because she's really getting into, you know, the marketing material, or Putting together spreadsheets.

What do you think is there a balance? 

think the key is if it, if the attention starts to come away from the core job that they were hired for. 

I got it. 

And if it does, I was just working with someone recently where they realized that the person they had in a role.

Was doing this other stuff really, really well, and then the core stuff, not so great. And so they moved her 

into 

the other role and backfilled the position she was in. And then all of a sudden the whole thing rises up, right? Cause she's happier and she's in her good spot, bringing her highest and best use.

Someone else gets a job that that's their highest and best use. But the key is just like, You know, that core, and I got that from actually, I can't even claim fame to that one, because it was a general manager I worked for years ago at a TV station 

I tended because my background is so broad with being in production, being [00:12:00] in operations, all these other things that I was the business manager. And I would often get called into like these other things. And he and I had a meeting and he was like, that's great, but I need your core function still handled.

And I was like, Oh, I didn't even realize I was taking my eye off the ball. Cause the other stuff was more fun. You know, it's that bright, shiny object. 

But 

I reeled it back in, got that core stuff down and then he was like, okay, cool. As long as the hat's rolling.

Yeah. 

You can dabble in this other stuff. 

Yeah. So we were talking about transferable skills. as a mom. some of these concepts you're putting out there, how do they transfer to your children when we're trying to help them? 

So you're talking about transferable skills and I'm thinking of that in a different aspect with our children getting them in the right seat in their life. when we see them in school, when we're trying to figure out what they want to do for the rest of their lives, maybe that same concept will transfer 

Math camp or something, but when they come home, [00:13:00] they're drawing pictures of buildings. I'm thinking that can transfer into different parts of our life helping other people to get in their right seat. And even our children, I'm just throwing that out there.

That's interesting that you say that because with the four that I have now, they're 21, 17 and 15. one of my twins, When he was graduating high school, got into several really nice schools as a neuroscience major. it was like, Oh, wow, fantastic.

But then he was like, you know, half a semester in and he was like, I'm not digging this. He's brilliant in math and all that. So it was like, well, maybe I'll be in math. He is now an international business major because he picks up languages. He taught himself Japanese during the pandemic.

Like he was bored because he was finishing up school and everything was online he was just like, I'm just going to, he taught himself guitar. He taught himself Japanese. So he's just really good at that kind of stuff. 

So 

He decided, okay, I'm going to lean more into that because I enjoy it and I'm good at it, where his twin brother is really good at [00:14:00] business and, you know, that that kind of, you know, so his major now and another good school is, is business.

Yeah. 

And then the next one down is business. Equally as brilliant as they are, but doesn't want to sit at a desk ever again. 

Yeah. 

Right. Going to a four year college is probably not the right move. What's it going to get you 

job where you sit at?

he's not taking that direction right now. And then the last one's kind of a combination of all of them. but he's only a sophomore, but you look at even their time in their life right now, between 15 and 20 having to make a decision. Like we did of what you're going to do the rest of your life.

your life. 

And me having, pivoted after I got into college from music to accounting and then being kind of bummed I was an accounting major. at that point in time, it wasn't as acceptable 

Millennials, Gen Z ers, they can flit around to whatever they want and everybody's just like, good for you for putting yourself first. But when we were younger, it was, you are distracted and you need to focus and you need to get your job and stay in it and then retire at [00:15:00] 65 and hopefully you live long enough to spend your retirement money.

Yeah. Oh my gosh. 

that was the message and it was loud and clear. 

I'm glad that the environment we're in now lets them have a lot more flexibility with that. But I think we still have to help them focus it a bit, but I'm not as hell bent on.

You picked this, you need to stick with it as my parents were with me. 

Exactly. You know, I was really encouraged by you were CFO and then, that opportunity dissipated and you were just willing to do whatever. I think we can really learn from that. Sometimes you just got to do what you got to do, take your skills and get to work and never know what's going to come.

now look at you, tell us about that transition. you did what you had to do. And now you have this great company. How did that happen? Was it an epiphany? Was it a dream? How did you get where you are? Tell us about how that felt or how that came about. 

One of my issues with my ex [00:16:00] husband was that he always felt that he should have a better job than he did. And so he changed jobs very often. at, one point, while we were still married. we were so down. I was making like 75, 000 a year in California, California is expensive family of six.

And it was like impossible. at one point I had to take 7 out of my son's piggy bank to go buy a box of tampons. I mean, it was that bad. and it was because my ex. Didn't want to take a job that was quote unquote beneath him. 

So 

I think when I got to that point, I was like, that is not going to be me.

I'm going to take whatever I need. If I have to work at home Depot, not that there's anything wrong with that, but if I work at home Depot or at checkout at the grocery store, it's whatever I need to do to bring my money in. I started with that. then it was just a matter of time before those first couple of clients were like, Oh, wait, you do a lot more than this.

And so they had actually referred me to other clients who needed my bigger services and that's how it grew from there. So my business has all been on [00:17:00] client referrals, which has been fantastic, a little scary. Cause at some point they're going to run out of friends to refer me to, but, yeah, I mean, it just, I think when I kind of put it down to the bare minimum of, I've just got to get money to pay rent and buy groceries and didn't have higher aspirations at that point, it was just get by.

I think once the universe was like, okay, you got that, you're doing it. Okay. now we'll reward you for bringing yourself down to the low and getting yourself back up. Because I feel like the universe doesn't reward people who don't know.

Yes. 

I believe so too, because there's a grit. There's a want, a willingness. it's almost like whatever it is. Yeah. It's like when we have our kids, if you have kid a and kid B and kid A is just like, gimme, gimme, do it for me, mom.

You're sort of like, I'm not going to, because you're not learning anything Whereas the other one, if they say, thank you, mom. I just need help with this. And then I'll go do this, you know, then you're sort of more willing to, you can handle it. If I give you more, 

absolutely. 

[00:18:00] My brain thinks in analogies. 

all imagery and analogies Yes. 

Tell us about the fear. I was a single mother for a short while, maybe four years or so. I have a huge heart for single mothers. it's almost like you're carrying the world, your children, your fears, your hopes, your dream, everything you're carrying it on your back.

And so tell us about how you got through the fear, even as your business was building and you were Duplicating yourself four times to take care of Children and being at basketball games. Tell us about that. And because that's, that's something people can learn from you, whether they're single mothers, married moms, not moms, married or not married.

it's a kind of a grit and a kind of a strength that I'm hoping that you can transfer a little bit of that, whatever it was that got you through. 

Well, I'm not going to lie. It was hard. I had a couple of friends, you know, I had, you know, friends, but I had a one couple, who had been through similar divorce story and the husband [00:19:00] would tell me, think about five years down the road, this was.

2013, 2014. So we're way past the five years down the road now. Right. And he used to tell me, think five years down the road, What is that going to look like? It's not going to look like this. it's going to be a lot different. And he would always say, it's going to be, these things will be easier.

There might be other things, but these things will be easier. And I always try to just focus on that. And before I know it, I joke with him all the time. Cause before I knew it, I was like, it's been like seven years. Oh my God. I made it through. And I also, kept a lot from my family being my siblings and my parents and friends.

I didn't keep a lot from my kids, but the financial perspective, I was really my, my parents, you know, like everybody, our age and over, I had no idea what they made. No idea. I mean, I remember when the census people came around, we were like banished. So my parents could tell them, income information or whatever.

I remember that specifically, but with mine, I was like, [00:20:00] look, I'm not going to do that. And so I would, I sat them down. I said, this is what I make because it's always the, you know, can I have, I need, I need, I need, right. I was like, look, here's what I have coming in. Here's what we have to pay going out the rent, the utilities, the car payment.

So this is how much we have food and you guys eat a lot. 

This is 

how much we have left over. we should not be down to zero every month or we're never going to get out of this, but it was kind of like, where is it going to come from? If I do that right now, I could take it from here and here and then get it there, but I really shared a lot with them so that they understood.

And I still do, even in my successes now. I still share with them like, Oh, I just signed this big thing or we've got this or whatever. And of course now they're like, Oh, good. So I can get that, you know, dirt bike. I was super careful not to, because I've seen this too, where single moms will rely heavily on their kids.

Emotional support. And I was like, that's not their role. so where I [00:21:00] was transparent with them, with where we were standing and all, I really made it clear that, this is not your stress. This is my stress. I'm just letting you know that I'm handling this for us, just so you have visibility.

Yeah. I think that is so amazing because. I still don't know what my parents were making, how they did college how they paid the bills and how they were always smiling. I don't even know if they were smiling or crying on the inside.

And then that affected me as I grew up because I didn't. what's a 401k how do you get health insurance How much that costs and how do you balance all this stuff? now I'm older. 

wow, I wish I knew some of this years ago. 

how does running a business being the CFO at relate to running your household finance?

Does that do the one, does one help? The other, you don't necessarily have to be good at both. I imagine 

it was like cobbler's kids has no shoes. No, I'm kidding. It's not that bad. I feel like being a single mom of four and managing them and their needs [00:22:00] and their priorities has helped me actually manage multiple clients.

Okay. 

Because I did that first. Right. I was managing them first. And then when I got into the situation where now I'm managing clients, it took me a little bit. Cause you know, everybody wants you now and everybody has an urgent and I'm, you know, it's accounting.

I mean, we're not saving lives. It can't be that bad, but it's hard to explain to someone who's paying you that, you know, it's not that big a deal. And so I definitely have days. In fact, the beginning of this week where like five clients were hitting me. literally email, texting, slacking, within the same, like 15 minutes.

And I was like, Oh my God. 

Yeah. 

And so it was kind of like when your kids are little and they're all like, mommy, mommy, mommy. And you just have to step back for a minute and go, okay. Triage this what has to be done first. And so I feel like that skill transferred to my professional life.

So women and moms, you have skills you have skills. 

I look at like they used to talk about a while back. moms who are coming back into the workforce and how they could use inventory management and, [00:23:00] HR skills for when they were a stay at home mom.

And it's so true because that stuff. actually transfers if you use it properly. 

It really does. Yeah. If you can see it, that's what you're doing. Right. Great. So what is one piece of advice you would give a business owner financially? And I'm thinking about the audience 50 and over you've been doing X thing for a long time.

Now you want to take that, maybe that skill that you learned in Turn it into a business from your perspective. What is the one piece of advice you would give them? 

Always take a percentage of your revenue and put it in a separate account for taxes. Taxes are no joke.

especially when you're a business owner, I work exclusively with women who have left high powered corporate jobs to start their own businesses. one of the things that happens is that they're so used to having a support system and structure in place that they could only focus on the thing that they were doing in their high power job now they're managing a whole business and that's hard.

But the other part of it is they're used to being an employee. [00:24:00] Where they've had taxes taken out and 401k reducing their taxes and all that. And all of a sudden they're looking at, you know, April 15th and their CPA saying, okay, you owe 25, 000 in taxes. And they're like, wait, what? 

set you back.

there's so many times they're so excited that they're making money that they forget. The government gets a big chunk of it. And so, as dry as that advice is, if you just take 5, 10 percent of your revenue every month, stick it in a separate account.

I do this myself. So when tax time comes around, either you don't need it. And it's fantastic. Now I can bonus myself out. 

Yeah. 

So that's the second part is that if you don't use that tax money, Bonus yourself out. Not all of it, but a little bit.

Cause you deserve it. Cause you kicked butt last year and don't forget to reward yourself for it. 

Has there ever been a business owner or someone from this group you're talking about who are high powered individuals and companies and now starting their own business? Have you ever worked with one of them where you said, Hmm, maybe you shouldn't.[00:25:00] 

Yes. and why is that? I think it's because they are, used to their small almost myopic view of the business, whether that's marketing or HR or whatever the case may be. And they're not used to having to make all the decisions for a business.

And they often outsource to someone like me and say, okay. You tell me what to do. That's not my role. I don't own this business. I can advise. give recommendations build models, But at the end of the day, you need to make the decision.

And it's the ones that don't want to, that I'm like, you might not be ready. I mean, cause they'll also just get frustrated because often it'll be, well, I'll just hire people to make those decisions. But then they get in the position where they're like, I feel like I was when I was back in corporate and I don't control my life.

Well, yeah, you just set that up again because 

you're just setting it up. 

Yeah. 

Okay. 

Yeah. 

And did anyone help you along this journey? Talk about the people who helped you. I don't [00:26:00] know if they were mentors, supporters, encouragement, somebody when you felt like, you know what? I can't do this anymore. 

it was not my family. my parents, passed in the last year and a half, They were, born in the early thirties.

their thing was you get a job, work at it forever, and then hopefully, retire. the entrepreneur thing was not. Something that anyone in my family, siblings too, they all thought I was insane. You can't own your own business when you're a mother of four, 

So it wasn't them. there was a lot of not getting anything from them, but it was that gentleman I talked about earlier who kept saying, look five years ahead from the personal side. And then my partner, significant other, He was very encouraging. I've known him for actually like 30 years and we've only been together for the last five but he was always just like, he tends to settle me down when I get, Oh my God.

Yeah. Okay. Wait, think about this. Think about that. And then I was like, okay, I got this. So there was a lot of encouragement from him. You can do [00:27:00] this. I've known you for a very long time. You can handle this, that kind of encouragement. 

And if I can just dive into that relationship a little bit, if I'm going too far, just, Be like, okay, Jules, no, but I'm wondering, and I'm thinking about this for everyone out there who has relationships, because we hear you talking and we hear how that's such a beautiful balance.

When you get high, he brings you low. And then we see birds singing and the sunset rising and everything's so perfect, you know, but did you always recognize that balance? Was there ever a time where you were like, no, but you just don't understand. This is what I'm dealing with. I want people to have realistic, especially when you start to get 50 ladies, you have to have really realistic expectations of relationships.

Love is hard. it's something you have to choose to do, but there's something that person brings and you have to see those things. 

Well, this is interesting. So my parents met at 14, they married at 18. They were married almost 70 years when my dad passed away.

they had [00:28:00] the relationship where they were extremely happy. at one point, 20 years ago or something. I remember my mom telling me, I actually might've been longer than that. I think it was before my marriage, my mom had said, you know, not, everybody gets this.

Not everybody is fortunate enough to find this. So don't be discouraged And they highly respected each other. My father and my mother, even as one of their offspring, I never heard them say anything negative about each other.

Wow. 

mom might've said, Oh God, your father's a pain in the butt. Like just kidding. You know, when he did some, you know, Yeah. Whatever OCD thing. Oh my God. Your father. Oh yeah. But actually it was never the other way. I'd never heard my dad say anything negative. And then even when they were out, so often I see couples now where they're joking and they're like, Oh my God, my husband's such a bit of a never, my parents never did that with each other.

I remember when my mom went back to school, to college. in her forties, my dad said he fell in love with her all over again. 

Well, I 

my [00:29:00] husband that I had my children with was actually my second husband. My first husband, we were married for like a year, 21. It was done, whatever.

which took the pressure off needing to be married, in my twenties, which was good. But my, my ex husband. We did not have that at all. It was not that yin and yang. It was, in fact, he, I, I'm used to being more of the, I need an anchor and I just get to do my thing. And he was also let me get to do my thing.

So there was no anchor. 

There was no anchor. 

but with my current, significant other, we had actually lived together 30 years ago and broke up he got married. I got married. We had our lives. Those lives fell apart and we found each other again, he was always the metric that I compared everyone to.

Wow. 

And the same from him to me, like he felt the same way. So when we got back together, it was like, he's just my person. 

Yeah. 

we both have stuff that annoyed each other, but it's that give and take, I tell him all the time.

He's so tightly wound. I mean, he is a finance guy and he's so tightly wound. [00:30:00] And sometimes I'm just like, dude, chill out. And sometimes he's like, can you get it together a little bit, it's never on the same topics, which is nice because it's not like we're both coming at the same, you know, issue with two completely different.

Perspectives that are, that are at each other. It's, you know, he's that way with some things that I'm not, and I'm, you know, the other, so it works that way. Well, but it took me, you know, 20 plus years to refind that. 

So why did you break up the first time? Was it, you were just too young and you were going on to your lives or what happened that, 

yeah, obviously there was some good 

stuff.

Yeah, there was 

good stuff. I was Just like I said, I got married at 21. I got divorced at like 22. I met him at or 22 and 23 By the time it ended, it was pretty young. I always said, had I met him five years later or five years earlier, it would have been fine.

But I was so anti, I don't want to be married. I don't want to say I love you. I'm just in this for the fun. And he was [00:31:00] five years older than me. and he was like, shoot, you know, I don't want to be with this woman who has no intention of, you know, cause he was 28, And he's like, She's just in this for like snacks or whatever.

And so, we kind of drifted apart that way. 

Okay. Just timing. And I'm coming to the conclusion now that we have to go through stuff. I mean, I wish nobody had to go through stuff, but sometimes we just have to we learn. And when we come out our better selves, then we. Settle down.

And we know exactly what we need. 

he had said that back then he asked God to, please, let this work out with this woman. And it didn't. so when we got back together, I'm like, are you bucking what God told you to do? and he's like, no, I really think God meant me to go through all this other stuff first.

Yes. 

Whatever that 

stuff had to get out, get that out and then bring you back together. And now we're all ready. That's wonderful. That's so cool. Just to know. So if you met your younger self, it could be about relationships, whatever you met your younger self. What would be [00:32:00] the one piece of advice you would give her?

You've got it more together than you think you do and just go with it. I was always, you know, that imposter syndrome that we all suffer from, but it was just way loud in my head way early on. I look at the women that were closer to my age, maybe just a few years younger that really just took off and maybe they had imposter syndrome also, probably.

But they didn't show it and they didn't let it slow them down. when I look back, I'm like, God, if I had just grabbed onto whatever it was and you know what, I'm doing this 

and 

not doubt. 

How would you advise a younger woman from your place to let go of that imposter syndrome?

What do you do to let it go 

like a man? They don't care. they say that it's not 

It's genetic or something. 

Right. They say that when men and women are going for investor funding women will play it over and over.

And they'll go back seven times until they get it right. Until they feel like they can go talk to somebody about getting [00:33:00] funding guys. We'll go in with it written on the back of a cocktail napkin and say, I kind of sort of had this idea. What do you guys think?

And they'll get the funding. Because they approach it with the, I deserve this. Nobody told me I can't have it. So 

Where women are just like, 

I can't, I'm not ready. 

Just do it. coming up all the reasons why not? 

Yes. 

Okay. Now tell me from the position of a CFO, I want to live in your world for just a few minutes.

what kind of. Person. Do you have to be I feel like there's a thing, you know, when you see a great singer, like, a Beyonce who just has the X factor. What's the X factor for the C suite?

Probably that confidence. and the credibility to support that. I think anybody goes at it with confidence and can't backfill it with what they actually know will fail quickly. but if you have, that background, that credibility, to bring to the table and you do it confidently, and kindly, I'll add [00:34:00] kindly, nobody wants somebody coming in what was it evolution versus revolution is another thing that, this one general manager I work with, always talked about.

Okay, come into something as a C suite or general manager or something, and you know you've got to make changes. But you're not going to go in and blow everything up. anybody who comes into just my way or the highway, yeah, that's not going to work either. It's doing it with kindness and confidence.

Have you ever worked with any one of those sort of the room blowers or the, Oh God. Okay.

Absolutely. 

Were you ever allowed to 

sit in a meeting, be like, Oh gosh, Bill, whatever. We move on. 

Yeah. and then, always be in the place where I was like the second in command type role. And so people would come back to me and be like, was he really serious about that?

You have to play that line between, yes, I have to support my boss and yes, he's being real right now. I don't know what to tell you. 

you have to run. It's a very fine line. You have to walk. Yeah. So [00:35:00] please tell us what's next for you. What are you looking forward to projects, life, whatever, what's next.

Yeah. I'm starting an online course, which should launch in June. it's called own your financials and it's basically teaching business owners to understand their numbers and financial statement.

lingo and jargon and all that so that they can either do it themselves or understand where somebody else is talking about, whether that's bankers or lenders or investors having that clarity brings you confidence and confidence allows you to run your business well.

and then I've been working really neat with a few women's foundations, business foundations, women's businesses, Business foundations and doing webinars. And that's been a lot of fun, 

Okay. Why? 

I think I didn't realize that, my big thing has always been explaining financials and numbers in a way that makes sense to non financial people.

Yes. And that's a, Kind of a hard thing to do sometimes because we're in it all the time. I have figured out that I'm actually pretty good at that. being able to do that in these webinars, [00:36:00] I feel good about it. And then when the women come back to me and go, Oh my God, that finally makes sense.

Thank you. Then I feel even better about it. So that's been a lot of fun. 

Yes. Cause finance is like, chemistry. we don't understand it. So I appreciate that a lot because finances, I mean, we love our families.

We love people. We love our work, but without the money, which is the tool that moves everything. If we don't understand the language or how it works or how to work it. Then we're just running on the treadmill. 

Yeah. And you're just hoping things work out. And that's not a, that's not a feeling.

not a great feeling and it's not a good way to land. And if you will, at some point, throw your hands up and say, forget it. I quit. Yeah. So give us one book that you would advise all women to read. 

I'm reading right now which is interesting is this, it's on my desk.

It's a four hour work week by Tim Ferriss, which is an old book. I'm just getting around to it but I find I'm going to make it required reading for my own sons because it really puts things into perspective [00:37:00] about how You have to not make your business own you, but the other way around I'm finding it really interesting to be honest.

So that's, the latest thing that I'm reading that I really like. 

Okay. Do you feel like your business owns you? Did you ever get to that point where you felt like 

it's 

taken over you too much? And if so, how did you reel it back? 

In fact, I just did this week. Believe it or not.

I don't think it's ever. I have accomplished this or at least not for me. this particular week, actually yesterday, I chair a group of entrepreneurs that we meet once a month I had a lot going on. with, clients coming at me this week and things were just crazy.

yesterday was my mom's birthday. And she passed away last year. My son had a big lacrosse game and I was supposed to chair this meeting in DC. That is like an hour and a half from here. 

Yeah. 

And I was trying to rally the energy of the other 10 people in this group. nobody was responding.

The energy was bad. I met with the facilitator of the whole thing. And I just was like, this, [00:38:00] you know, I feel like I should, cause I've committed. he said, You have to look at what's important in your life, right? I'm like, okay. And I started thinking about a month from now, who's going to remember what I did on April 22nd, the people in this group going to remember that I was even there?

Probably not my son. When he scored three goals yesterday, he will remember that I was not there. it's still an ongoing thing for me, but I try to balance it. It depends on the week. two weeks ago I would have been like, I own this business, but this week, last week it was not.

how did, so that actually, you actually made that decision. Yep. And so how did you feel afterwards? Great. Help us to understand. 

I can always tell when I made it, you feel like everything just lifts off your shoulders. Yes. This feels good If I had gone, I would have felt that weight of, you know, 

I should be at my son's game. I felt great. I didn't even think about that until I got the email later on that night with the notes about how the meeting went and only four of the 10 people showed up anyway. 

So 

yeah, 

you would have been through, 

where 

I [00:39:00] sacrificed for you guys and you didn't come to this meeting. What's wrong with you? that's a good tip on how to know that you just made the right choice. You can feel it in your body. You make the decision. I have 

three more questions. so give us a little advice. I like to know people who are doing powerful things in the world do first thing in the morning or sometime in the day, but one thing that you can't miss doing every day. 

It used to be running, but, I got COVID in December and then winter hit I meant to go running this morning and didn't but it's been a while.

what I have done is I take, and this is after taking, I don't know if you know, Marie Forleo, 

she does all this business stuff, but she's got a program called time genius, which, you know, is kind of blocking out time and stuff. And so I, when I was taking that course and her B school, which is another.

Business school thing that she does, which I took not for my own business, but so I could better understand how to speak to clients. [00:40:00] Okay. I took that time cause it was over the course of like, I don't know, eight or 10 weeks 

that 

from 6am to 7am, I would do coursework. And then from seven to eight, I would do like my social media stuff.

And then from eight, you know, shower and then do the rest of my day. Well, that course ended. And so I started, I was like, well, I Maybe I'll just, it was such an habit of it. So that's now what I do. I read a book. Like a, like not a, like I read my novels at night, you know, because I fall asleep. But in the morning I'll have my coffee 

I don't open email. I don't do anything else. And I just do that. Okay. You know, when the weather now it's nicer out, I might shift that by like a half an hour and get a quick run in. And then do that, but it's me time. having made this, pivot in the last month or so, it's really made a big difference.

It's made a big difference. how do you feel like the difference? 

I haven't forgotten about that day. 

Okay. 

I'm not an afterthought. 

Yes. 

I'm the primary and then everything else falls in line behind it. 

sometimes you have to get up early [00:41:00] before everything else happens to you.

Yeah. 

Now tell the audience how they can get in touch with you after this podcast is over. How can we get, linked up to the online course you're building? we want to be able to know how to get to that when that comes out. 

Yeah, so my website is DK East E A S T dot com.

I'm also super active on Instagram. DK East a sauce. and then also on Tik TOK cause my person got me on Tik TOK. I love it. So that's, the Dorothy cold, on Tik TOK, I'm also on LinkedIn under Dorothy Cole, but yeah, pretty much active on all things social.

All those links will be in the show notes. So you can click on one of those and find, Dorothy there. please tell me what it's like for you being on TikTok. Cause I'm trying, but I just don't get it. Maybe I'm too old. 

I'm not willing to. Stand there and shake. I'm just not going to do that. 

mine's kind of just quick business advice and I'll take the dog for a walk and do stuff while I'm walking. my kids laugh at me because they're like, yeah, mom [00:42:00] walks along doing your TikTok.

Yeah. I showed 

You know, for you page, one of my kids, friends, and they were like, I saw your mom on Tik TOK. And they were like, Oh my God. I think for me it's appealing because I always wanted to be on camera anyway, you know, back when I was a kid.

So now I'm like, Oh, so now I can be on camera. And my dad can't tell me I can't, it takes a bit of a hurdle to get over the initial like, Oh God, that's me, but you can filter the heck out of everything these days. Whatever color you want to put on it.

Yeah, exactly. And then I just get used to it. I feel like an idiot sometimes walking down the street, with the dog and somebody will drive by I think everybody's used to everyone documenting their lives so much now that it's not.

so crazy. 

Yeah. I understand that self conscious thing. Even when I asked somebody to take a picture of me in front of something funny, I'm like, I don't know what they're thinking about me. I'm too old to be doing this stuff, but it's fun. 

It is fun. 

When your life is coming to an end and you're ready to go into the sunset, what is the one piece of advice? What is the one [00:43:00] message you would like to leave for the world? 

Make sure you don't forget to laugh.

Yeah. there are days, that I don't, and then one of my sons will make me bust up laughing and I'll just be like, Oh my God, I haven't done that all day. And I missed it. 

Thank you Dorothy, for being here.

I appreciate you sharing your story and your life with my audience and me. 

It was great. Thank you so much.