Kinks for the Normal Guy: 5 Moves That’ll Make You a Legend in Bed

You don’t have to be “kinky” to completely blow her mind—you just need a little curiosity.

In this episode, I’m breaking down 5 beginner-friendly kinks that are: ✅ Easy to try
✅ Expert-approved
✅ And absolutely guaranteed to take your bedroom game from basic to bold

We’re talking praise kink, anal play (yes, for her and you), light restraint, power dynamics, and erotic punishment—all explained in a way that feels approachable, sexy, and real.

These are the kinks she secretly wants… but probably won’t ask for.
 And I’m giving you the step-by-step breakdown, the science behind why they work, AND the tools to make it happen. 👇

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Chapters

• 1:28 Welcome to Masturbation Monday
• 2:16 Praise Kink: The Power of Words
• 6:31 Anal Play: Breaking Myths
• 8:48 Light Restraint: From Dad to Dom
• 10:24 Power Dynamic Play: Taking Control
• 12:42 Spank and Punishment: Your Daddy Era
• 16:07 Bonus: Stack Your Kinks

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:44

do the sex. Welcome to Masturbation Monday with me, annette Benedetti, your host for Locker Room Talk and Chats. This is your invitation to join me for coffee in bed and a candid conversation about the masturbation practice I'm developing to support my mental, physical and emotional health and help manifest my dreams. Masturbation Monday is a guide to self-pleasure, better sex and using the power of the pussy to open new doors to a better life. Today's topic is kinks. For the normal guy. These are five beginner-friendly ways to blow her mind that you're going to love too.

Speaker 1: 1:27

This episode is listener, requested, expert approved and naughty. But make it nice. You know what I love? I love it when men ask how they can expand their sexual repertoire so that they can be better, more adventurous lovers. Not just how to last longer or what moves gets her off the fastest, but how to actually step out of the conventional or vanilla zone and into the wild world of kink and pleasure, without feeling like they need to sign a sex contract or suddenly grow a man bun and start calling women goddesses. Not that there's anything wrong with that. You don't need to be kinky, you just need to be curious. This episode is for you. My curious, very normal guy who DM'd me and said that he was ready to venture out of the common and into kinks for the average Joe. You are in the right place Today.

Speaker 1: 2:24

I'm walking you through five kinks that are beginner-friendly, science-backed because she secretly really really wants to experience these and guaranteed to spice things up without freaking you out. These are kinks she wants to try but probably won't ask for. Down of what it is a real myth that you probably believed. Easy, low pressure ways to try it, the stats and psychology behind why it works. And toy recommendations, because, well, I love tools for pleasure. And don't worry, if you are subscribed to my e-newsletter or my sub stack, then you will be receiving a article that is full of all of these toys and the discounts go along with them. And I'm going to take this opportunity to remind you that I am over on OnlyFans and there I am sharing my sex how-tos and demonstrations, also some audio, guided self-pleasure meditations and so much more to help you start having better sex tonight. You can find me there by my handle at TalkSexWithAnnette. You can also find me on Substack handle at talk sex with annette. You can also find me on substack at talk sex with annette. And, of course, scroll down to the notes in this podcast episode, where you will have all the links to find me everywhere you want to. This episode doesn't require leather pants, but it will provide you with better orgasms.

Speaker 1: 3:47

So if you are ready to take your bedroom game from basic to bold, let's get ready to talk about sex Cheers. Let's dive in with kink. Number one for the curious but conventional guy, it's the praise kink. Let's ease into this with something you're probably already halfway doing the praise kink. One well-timed, good girl can do more than an hour of thrusting. So what is it? It's using affirming, sexy language to turn your partner on. Not, you're pretty, but you're making me so hard right now. Not good job, but you're such a good girl when you take me like that, it's confident, it's hot and it builds serious connection. So the myth that goes along with this is praise is just emotional fluff. Nope, according to a 2021 Kinsey Institute survey, 74% of women said verbal affirmation during sex increased their arousal and orgasm intensity, especially when the tone was dominant.

Speaker 1: 4:57

So how to try it? Start during foreplay. Say things like you're doing so good for me, or I love watching your body respond to me, or me, or I love watching your body respond to me or no one else has ever gotten me this hard. Sometimes little white lies are okay. Then turn it up. You take me so well. Or look at you begging for more Dirty. Talk isn't just about what you say, it's about how you say it. So what toy can you pair with this? To turn up the heat? Try a satin blindfold and add in a little bit of sensory deprivation. She won't be able to see you, but she'll feel every word Kink. Number two for the average Joe anal play for her or for you. I know the thought of anal play makes many normal guys sweaty, and not in the good way. But once we debunk the myths it becomes a whole new world of pleasure. Look, you're not gay for liking anal, you're just built for it.

Speaker 1: 6:08

Anal play is a broad, broad topic. It consists of stimulating the anus or prostate using fingers, a cock, toys or a tongue. You can do it to her, she can do it to you. Either way it can result in incredible orgasms. There's so many myths around this. One, but maybe the most common is if I like anal, it makes me gay Wrong. One, but maybe the most common is if I like anal, it makes me gay Wrong. Sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to, not where you like to be touched. Another myth is women don't enjoy. Actually, one in three women afford to enjoying anal play when it's done with consent, communication and lots of lube. So why it's hot? The male G-spot, aka the prostate, is located just inside the anus and when stimulated, the most intense orgasm of your life well, it might be up there. Anal play can cause stronger, longer, more full-bodied orgasms. For her, anal stimulation increases pleasure on the vaginal walls, the internal clitoris and the G-spot, creating double the intensity.

Speaker 1: 7:17

So how do you get into it? For her, start outside. Use lots of lube, go slow and pair it with clit stimulation. For you, try rooming external massage on the perineum or a small plug. So here are some toys you can pair with it. For her, try the B-Vibe Snug Plug. 2. For you, we're going to start with the B-Vibe Novice Plug. It's small and it's sexy. Note I have done a full podcast episode on anal play. I'm going to link them below and send them out in my e-newsletters. It's great for beginners. It walks you through some of the basic starter things you can try all the way to the wild and you got to really be willing stuff.

Speaker 1: 8:04

Kink number three for men who are ready to go from dad mode to dom is light restraint, aka bondage. If you've ever had the urge to pin her wrists, you've already had a taste of this one. What is it? It's bondage using handcuffs, rope or straps to restrict movement and build anticipation. It gives you control, slows things down and makes every sensation feel electric. When she can't't move, every touch hits differently. So what's a myth we need to debunk with this one? Bondage is only for hardcore kinksters. Nope, 58% of people who identify as vanilla say they fantasize about being tied up.

Speaker 1: 8:47

This one's more common than you think. So how can you dip your toe in the water with this one? Start by using silky wrist restraints or an under the bed restraint system. Try verbal restraint Don't move, keep your hands above your head. Simple commands like that can evoke a strong reaction in both of you. Add in sensory play, blindfold her, then slowly tease with fingers, tongue or a vibe. There are so many toys that you can pair with this one, but for starters, get an under the bed restraint kit. It's really cool because you can leave it there, tuck the restraints in and nobody will even know that you've gone from conventional to kinky will even know that you've gone from conventional to kinky. Want to level it up even more. Get a tickler or a feather wand to add in some sensory play. All right, kink. Four for the normal guy.

Speaker 1: 9:40

Power dynamic play, with or without role play, ready to explore control, but not quite ready for costumes and characters? Well, you don't have to be. So what is it? Power dynamic play is about who's in control. One person leads and the other submits. Being dominant doesn't mean being a dick, it means being decisive. You can add role play boss, employee, teacher, student or you can do it as yourselves, with commanding language and energy.

Speaker 1: 10:13

So here are some myths that go along with this one. I need to be dramatic or good at improv? Nope, the hottest power play often happens when you're just being you, but more intentional and more in control. And look the stats back it up 65% of women fantasize about being dominated. 58% say they want their partner to initiate more sexually. That's a lot of women.

Speaker 1: 10:42

So how are you going to give it a try? Let's start with no role play. Take the lead Simply give her commands. Say, take off your clothes, take them off slowly. Give her rules, say you're not allowed to come until I say You're not allowed to touch me there, until I tell you, touch me here, grab a hold of it, squeeze, use control words on your knees, say please, now, thank you. So how do you try it with role play? Just tell her tonight I'm the boss, you're my secretary, use your space, the desk, the kitchen, the doorway it all becomes a stage. So what kind of toys can you pair with this? Start with something like a faux leather collar. There are also role play prompt cards that you can buy. That can help you dip your toe in the water. Want to level it up and make her really happy? Buy her some costume lingerie so she can get in the mood and play the part that you want her to play. All right, kink number five. Step into your daddy era. No diapers, all dominance.

Speaker 1: 12:03

We're talking spank and punishment. This one's a classic, but there's more to it than just a slap on the ass. Punishment doesn't have to hurt, it just has to build tension. So what is it? Spanking equals impact, play. Punishment equals erotic control. It could be spanking or teasing, denial or rules she has to follow. So what is a myth that goes along with this one? A. The most common is that it's degrading. Nope, with consent and care, punishment can be incredibly arousing. Punishment can be incredibly arousing, emotionally releasing and even bonding. And look the stats back it up 57% of women enjoy being spanked. 35% say that they've fantasized about erotic punishment Again. That's a lot of women who want to experience this.

Speaker 1: 12:59

So how do you dip your toe in the water? An easy way to start is by giving her a spanking during doggy style, or level it up with some over the knee punishment. You can also add rules If you squirm again, I'll have to start over. Another great approach is to spank and then praise Good girl, you took that so well, all right. Non-spanking punishment options there's orgasm denial for those women who orgasm easily. Give her a solid not. Yet you can also do some edging. Bring her close, then back off and repeat. Add in restraints, tie her up, touch her everywhere except for where she wants to be touched. You can also use verbal control. Tell her things like you have to ask before you come. There are so many toys you can pair with this one. Get a mini paddle, a flogger For the clip play. Consider the Womanizer Premium 2. It provides that pleasure. Air tech that is going to bring her close to that orgasm You're going to deny her. You can also level it up with a butt plug for some combo play.

Speaker 1: 14:20

All right, I've given you five kinks for the normal guy, but I'm going to give you some bonus material here. Your bonus is stack your kink, spank her, then praise her for some punishment. Plus praise, kink, tie her up, whisper how wet she is, then role play. You've got restraint, plus dirty talk and dom energy. Try combining an anal plug plus restraint and then praise, throw in a spanking. We're looking at triple orgasm territory now.

Speaker 1: 14:56

You don't need more moves, you just need more layers. Look, kink doesn't have to be extreme, it just has to be intentional. You don't need more moves, you just need more layers. Look, kink doesn't have to be extreme, it just has to be intentional. You don't need whips or contracts or leather pants unless you want them. You need curiosity, communication and a little courage. These five kinks they're not just fun, they're effective. They build anticipation, deepen connection and take your sex life from good to holy shit. What just happened? Try one, try two, combine a few and look if you need a cheerleader to support you through the process of trying out these kinks, or you're just looking for someone to help guide you through and support you through your own pleasure or sexual intimacy journey.

Speaker 1: 15:40

My books are open. I am offering pleasure and sex and intimacy coaching. You can find out more about that when you go to my website at TalkSexWithAnette. Of course, I always love to receive your questions and get you the answers that you are looking for. So if you listen to this episode and anything comes up for you, feel free to reach out to me. You can, of course, drop a comment below this video on my YouTube channel, which is at TalkSexWithAnnette. You can DM me. You can scroll down to the link below and you're going to find my speak pipe. Send me a voice note. Of course, you can always email me at Annette at talk sex with annettecom. So until next time I'll see y'all in the locker room. Good luck getting kinky cheers.