Talk Sex with Annette
Talk Sex with Annette
Where desire meets disruption—and pleasure becomes power.
Hosted by sex and intimacy coach Annette Benedetti, Talk Sex with Annette is the go-to podcast for bold, unfiltered conversations at the intersection of sexuality, identity, and empowerment.
From kink to connection, self-love to sexual healing, Annette dives into the topics most people are too afraid to touch—with expert guests, raw storytelling, and a feminist lens that challenges shame and reclaims pleasure.
Think smart, sexy, and radically real: this is the cultural conversation around sex that’s long overdue.
Talk Sex with Annette
Should Your Doctor Be Subscribing Sex Toys? Vibrators Should Be Part of Your Health Plan
In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, we’re diving into the surprising ways sex toys are revolutionizing sexual health—and why more medical professionals are finally taking pleasure seriously.
You’ll learn:
- Why vibrators are being recommended by doctors and therapists
- The science behind using pleasure tools to treat conditions like pelvic pain, low libido, and arousal disorders
- How integrating toys into your health routine can improve intimacy, confidence, and connection
- What to look for in a “therapeutic” toy—and where to start
Whether you're navigating postpartum sex, menopause, erectile dysfunction, or just want better orgasms—this episode is packed with insight, guidance, and the kind of real talk your doctor should be having.
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Cheers!
Do the sex pleasure and desire Around here. Nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends and, of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you, and if you're new, welcome to my podcast. Where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now let's talk about sex Cheers. Today's Talk Sex with Annette. Topic is Prescribe the Vibe, why Sex Toys Belong in the Doctor's Toolkits.
Speaker 1:Today we are cracking open a taboo that should never have been a taboo in the first place. I want you to imagine this You're at your OBGYN's office, they're going down the checklist pap smear, hormones, blood pressure and then they say have you tried a vibrator? Not for fun, though? Yes, that too, but as part of your actual healthcare plan? Sounds radical, but it shouldn't, because once upon a time, vibrators were part of medicine, literally. They were invented by doctors, used in clinics and prescribed to treat what was called female hysteria. And while the diagnosis was bullshit, the solution orgasm was not. So what happened? This was bullshit, the solution orgasm was not. So what happened? How did the vibrator go from being a medical device to something wrapped in shame and shoved to the back of the sex shop.
Speaker 1:Today's guest is here to answer that and so much more. I'm joined by Rachel Gelman, pelvic floor physical therapist, sexual health expert and fierce advocate for bringing the vibrator back into the clinical toolkit. We're talking about painful sex, postpartum numbness, trauma recovery and why vibrators belong in your first aid kit just as much as they belong in your nightstand. But before we dive in, I want to remind you I'm over on OnlyFans where I am sharing my sex and intimacy, how-tos, demonstrations and audio-guided self-pleasure meditations and so much more all designed to help you experience and start enjoying more pleasure in your own life and relationship.
Speaker 1:Tonight you can find me there under my handle at TalkSexWithAnette. You can also find me over on Substack where I'm doing a whole lot of the same same handle at TalkSexWithAnette. But if you want to find me, you can scroll down to the notes below and you're going to find links to all the places I am where you can get a hold of me and find out more about what I'm offering. Now I would love for Rachel, could you take a moment to tell my listeners just a little bit more about who you are and why you're here.
Speaker 2:Yes, Thank you so much for having me. So I am Dr Rachel Gelman. My doctorate is in physical therapy, but I specialize in pelvic floor dysfunction, primarily in chronic pelvic pain and sexual health concerns for all genders. People are often surprised to hear that half of my patients have a penis or identify as men, but I'm also an ASEC certified sexuality counselor. So I really have honed in and specialized in sexual health concerns. And as a result of that, and being that I am in San Francisco, where you know the tech at the center tends to be, I've become more involved in companies in what's known as the sex tech industry, so helping companies that are developing different types of devices for people who have sexual health concerns. And then I also teach as an adjunct professor at Samuel Merritt University, where I teach the doctoral students all about pelvic floor dysfunction.
Speaker 1:So this conversation is inclusive of all people and ways in which sex tech I hate the word toys, we'll get to that in the conversation but these devices can be used to enhance overall health for all humans. So, whether you're a man, someone with a penis, a woman, someone with a vulva or all of the other genders, right yeah, this conversation is for you, and so stay to the end, because, of course, we'll do our takeaways, so you will know by the end, and you'll get your takeaways on how you can start using devices sex toys if you will to improve your life beyond, just as part of your sex life, which you know, I am an advocate for, but in other areas of your life.
Speaker 1:So if you need an excuse to go get a sex toy, you're going to have one by the end of this podcast. So I'm really excited about this conversation because this is something I've myself felt very strongly about. So thank you for joining me and guys, get ready to talk about sex and sex toys in the doctor's office, which sounds a little kinky, but we're talking about the doctor's office, so cheers her office, so cheers.
Speaker 1:So where I want to start with in this conversation is sort of the origin story of the vibrator as it pertains to being used in the medical industry, if you will, or by doctors much earlier in our history. We do know that doctors used orgasm for women's hysteria, to calm the hysterical female. There is some mythology there around the vibrator being created to help with that, because their hands got tired. Now that has been argued against and sometimes people will say it's been debunked. Other people will argue that it hasn't been debunked, but what we do know is that vibrators were used for different things, correct, and by doctors earlier in history, and then there was a shift that happened, and can we talk about that a little bit?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure I'm not a historian, so I always feel like I need to kind of say that I'm sure there's people who have really studied this and would be better equipped to talk more about the history of vibrators and sex toys, because we know they've been around for a long time, whether they're used just for pleasure's sake or in medical offices. But we do know that they were brought in to help treat different things like headaches, insomnia, this kind of, like you said, bullshit, diagnosis of hysteria, whatever that kind of encompassed. For women, there's this idea of it being used to help with period pain. So it did get brought into the doctor's office, but then it kind of became more and more taboo and kind of got pulled, and now we're seeing sort of a resurgence in the research about the benefits of these devices to help people who are having sexual dysfunction and pelvic pain.
Speaker 1:I know that I have talked to some doctors who want to and know that vibrators and various again sex toys I hate the word toy because it makes it sound and various again sex toys. I hate the word toy because it makes it sound. I don't know like it does you know like it's just for you know shits and giggles. I don't know why I hate that word. But sex pleasure devices I've got to come up with something cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's interesting because I feel like I talk to some people who are very anti-toy but then I talk to other people who are very pro-toy because they want it to seem fun and they feel like if you say device, that sounds too clinical. So it is interesting how there is a lot of there's kind of two sides, I guess, to how people want to talk about these. I say devices, I sometimes say toys, I kind of like switch it up depending on my mood that day. But yeah, it is interesting how there's some people who really hate the term toy or dislike the term toy, and then there's some people who really want to use device but don't like device. So I think we'll continue to try to struggle with what the best term will be.
Speaker 1:There's got to be something in between. Or we just do two different brands. There's got to be something in between. Or we just do two different brands, the one the doctors feel comfortable giving their patients, and it can be in a neutral, boring color, and then we can do the sex toys and all the fun colored hands.
Speaker 1:But I know that there is knowledge, a basic knowledge for many different medical doctors, whether physical therapists or OBGYNs. They know that vibrators and different sex toys can be used to help people who are experiencing sexual dysfunction or pain or many, many different things, but they can't prescribe them. Isn't that correct at this point?
Speaker 2:Well, I guess it depends on what you mean by prescribe. Like we can recommend and there are some devices out there now that you can use like your FSA or HSA for. But if we're talking about like, is it going to be covered by an insurance company as a medical device? You know, I don't think that's where we're at yet, but then that gets us into a whole nother conversation about like the insurance companies and healthcare in our country and just why that's a huge, a huge problem. But yeah, they can definitely be recommended, suggested and you know, for some people that would fall under the umbrella of prescribe. So I think it just kind of depends on what you mean by that. But there are a lot of providers out there who work in sexual medicine or pelvic health that are recommending these devices. Like I can say for myself, I recommend them every day.
Speaker 1:Well, that's great. Let's talk about that.
Speaker 2:Well, that's great, let's talk about that. Can you tell my listeners what devices you prescribe for different conditions? Maybe do you have a favorite device. This is why I really enjoy working in sexual health, because what I like might be very different from what you like and what you know one of my patients likes, and also it might change in three or four years. What that person likes may shift and evolve, and so there's so much variety and room to explore. And I think that's something I really encourage my patients and people to understand is there is no, you know, linear path or one you know kind of like. This is what you should be doing this week and then by next week you should be using this vibrator. It's like you can explore and discover what works well for you and what you enjoy, instead of feeling like we all have to fit into this one little sexual box of like we're all just going to use the rabbit and I feel like for a long time that's what all the magazines and shows were talking about and I think everyone felt like they had to enjoy and use that one device. So that was a very long winded way of saying yes, I do have some favorites and things that I kind of encourage people to maybe look at, especially if they're just starting out and have never gotten a vibrator.
Speaker 2:For people who have a vulva I always talk to them about most of them require some sort of clitoral stimulation to feel pleasure and to experience an orgasm. So trying to find something that really focuses on clitoral stimulation and usually I talk about something that I call the mini vibe. It typically is referred to as a bullet vibe. I really try to stay away from that language, but a mini vibe is usually like. It looks almost like a lipstick tube, so it's small, I feel like. It seems very like not intimidating. You can use it externally. It's pretty discreet. So that's kind of usually where I encourage people to start.
Speaker 2:There are other devices out there that are called clitoral stimulators or clitoral suction, even though most of them don't actually have an actual suction to them, but they typically look like a little suction cup, so it's very kind of focused on clitoral stimulation. So those are kind of the places I usually start. But I also really encourage people to go to websites. Or I'm in San Francisco. We have a shop here called Good Vibrations, which is this very beautiful boutique type environment where people can go and look at all of these devices and see what they feel like, see how strong the vibration is and really be able to find something that works best for them. So it usually is all about exploration and discovery, but, like I said, the kind of mini vibe or a clitoral stimulator is often where I start, with people.
Speaker 1:My question that I should have asked before this should have been are you recommending essentially using a vibrator or sexual stimulation for people as part of their health routine? Can you talk about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. And I think the first thing I always ask people. First I always ask like, do they masturbate? And then I usually then ask if they have a vibrator, if they've ever used one, and depending on the answer, I ask are they comfortable maybe exploring that or trying one of those devices or getting a toy? Because if someone says right off the bat, like no, I don't feel like I'm going to be telling them like oh well, you should, you have to, like we need to have other conversations about ways that might be helpful to maybe get them to that point or what kind of the barriers are there.
Speaker 2:But for the most part most people say yes to the first, saying that they do masturbate, and then it's probably like half and half of people saying like they have a vibrator or they don't. But most people are open to exploring, using some sort of device to help whatever's going on. And especially when I explain to them why and I think that's kind of a good kind of segue for a moment is to explain why I recommend these things. So if we look I'm going to pull my model out here, just because I feel like it's a little bit helpful If we look at this model and this is the model. So for my list.
Speaker 1:I'm going to interrupt you for a second. For my listeners, you're going to need to go over to the YouTube channel to see the model, and we will do our best to describe what the model is. It's a pelvis. We're looking at the model of a pelvis?
Speaker 2:Yes, and this is a vulva, the pelvic floor of someone with a vulva, and so there's the bones are in white, and then there's all this red which is the pelvic floor muscles, and these muscles wrap around the vaginal opening and then they attach at the base of the clitoris, which is this little yellow part right here.
Speaker 1:There she is. So for my listeners right now she is pointing to the clitoris, where it's located. So many of you may want to go see that at TalkSucksWithAnette. That's the button right there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so this is the glands of the clitoris that we can see. Right, all this bean, if you will, you can see there's actually the internal part of the clitoris is underneath this red. So the pelvic floor muscles are covering the internal part of the clitoris and are very much involved in what's going on with the internal and external portion of the clitoris, which is where a lot of the nerve endings are.
Speaker 1:Right, so for listeners, this is interesting because I actually have never seen where the internal clitoris on a model like that is. It almost sort of it looks like a wishbone for sure that wraps around sort of it looks like it's setting up kind of inside the inner thighs yeah Deeper. Can you explain?
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little bit deeper.
Speaker 1:So pelvic bones are up here and your hips are here, hip, all right Pointing to the hip Hip bones.
Speaker 2:Sit bone, sit bone, sit bone, sit bone, yeah, and so then, if we're looking, this is the anus Right, vaginal opening, urethra, glands of the clitoris Right. So this is really just all the vulva right here.
Speaker 1:Okay, all right, yeah, inner thigh would be kind of up here, and where are the arms of the internal clitoris? Can you point to them? Mm-hmm, so there's, they're there.
Speaker 2:It kind of has legs, so it goes out like that. But then there's also kind of the erectile tissue or spongy tissue is through here.
Speaker 1:Right. So that's why when, if you're rubbing kind of on the outside of the lips right, you can really hit the pressure point of the internal clitoris and create pleasure there. Yeah, okay. Yeah, this is super important information, is just listening and really wants to understand how big the structure is and how you can access it outside of just the clitoris and when I say clitoris I mean the peekaboo one, the beam that shows the external clitoris. This model is excellent for that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, because we do have for people who aren't able to access the video or see.
Speaker 2:The internal clitoris is basically like below the labia, the skin of the labia, and then down, kind of the pelvic bones, going towards the sit bones Right On either side of the urethra and the vaginal opening, and that gives just such a broad area for pleasure and sensation if you know where it is and you can figure out how to stimulate it.
Speaker 2:Correct, mm-hmm, exactly. So the first step is just knowing and learning this anatomy and understanding where things are, because most people don't know there's an internal portion of the clitoris. Most people don't know anything about these pelvic floor muscles. So just understanding that and recognizing like, oh, if I can't tolerate internal penetration right now or I don't want to be having penetrative sex, I can still be experiencing pleasure, because a lot of what I can access for pleasure is external, outside of the vagina. So I do find that to be really helpful for people. No-transcript and so kind of explaining that is usually pretty empowering for people to understand. So going over that and explaining that to someone and then saying like, hey, if you're wanting a smaller version of the, that's the vulva and the clitoris, the internal.
Speaker 1:There we go, just the internal portion, great.
Speaker 2:Perfect. So you know I'm like if we're thinking we want to try to increase blood flow into these muscles, into the nerves that go to the clitoris maybe someone's experiencing vaginal dryness, go to the clitoris, maybe someone's experiencing vaginal dryness and we want to get more blood flow into the vaginal canal because that's what helps create the natural lubrication that occurs. Vibration is a great way to do that, and so I tell people I'm like that's why I want you to try to use one is to help really stimulate blood flow into all those areas, because it can really help get these muscles moving, it can get blood flow into these structures and that's going to help potentially with a lot of the symptoms someone might be describing.
Speaker 1:Right, and I know when I masturbate and I really like last night not to tell you guys too much, but I do all the time I was exhausted. I went to bed at 1030 and I was just like I got in bed I thought I was going to go to sleep but I was like I'm like I should probably knock one out, I should give myself an orgasm. It had been a couple of days and then it was so good that it lasted an hour. I have extended sex with myself, but you will see like it's really sometimes shocking, like the vulva and the lips will get like so full of blood when it's good.
Speaker 1:I'm my own best lover, I'm telling you guys, and sometimes though, it's shocking just how swollen that area will get when it fills up with blood and gets engorged. Right, and it helps you have. If I were just using my hand, well, first of all for an hour, that would be a long time. I don't think I've ever gotten myself quite that engorged, but like with a toy, and I use a combination of vibration and I'm kind of an expert in the use of noise, but use the combination of like the internal vibration and external pleasure air tech.
Speaker 1:the puppy blowies. Yeah, you know, the engorgement was is pretty shocking. Sometimes I'm like oh my God.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, and I think you're bringing up a good point and I think people don't realize this is the penis and the clitoris are analogous structures and so one of the examples I always give to people who are like kind of confused why I'm talking about clitoral stimulation so much as I'm like. Well, if you thought of someone with a penis and we said, like what if every time someone with a penis went to have sex or stimulate themselves but they didn't touch their penis, they only touched maybe their testicles or their inner thigh and expect them to orgasm, and maybe some people could, but probably not a lot. And that's kind of what I say. I'm like when you're telling someone they should just be having penetrative sex and just climaxing from vaginal penetration. Yes, some people maybe can, because there is that internal portion of the clitoris and for a lot of people, vaginal penetration is very pleasurable, but if they're not getting their clitoris stimulated, it's the same as not stimulating a penis and the same engorgement happens to both structures.
Speaker 1:You get this increase in blood flow no-transcript that are with people who have vulvas, like, if you can start to think in those terms, it's going to make it easier to be a better lover, right?
Speaker 1:I mean, I always say I'm pansexual, bisexual. I'm more confident in bed with women because I know what they're experiencing, Even though we like different things, I understand the setup, if you will. When I'm with a man or someone with a penis, I'm like I hope this feels good, but I don't have a dick. You know, I don't have a prostate. So for me it's like guesswork and feedback and it does help if I can try to match it up with my own body, like it just makes it easier for me to sort of feel what they might be feeling and give them the pleasure I want to give. So that's super useful. So I understand that some people, when you ask them, may say I don't masturbate. Do you think that it's a good part of a regular health practice to have a regular masturbation practice and if so, why would you recommend integrating masturbation into your health routine? Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, I definitely think it should be a part of someone's health routine. For sure I always say, as a pelvic floor specialist, people always assume what I'm telling people to do is Kegels, and I probably prescribe or recommend masturbation way more often than I talk about Kegels, because it is so important and I loved what you said that you feel like you are your best lover, and I think that's what everyone should strive for, because how can someone expect to tell another person what they want and what they found pleasurable and communicate those difficult things? It's hard to have these conversations with someone else. How can you expect to have that difficult conversation if you don't know, if you haven't spent time with yourself to learn what feels good for you? So that's the first reason is to really help people understand what they enjoy and what they find pleasurable.
Speaker 2:But also that we know there's these health benefits. You know, know you get this nice release of dopamine which makes you feel good. We know masturbation and orgasms can help improve blood flow to these structures, which is really important. It can help with pain relief. So for a lot of my patients I'm seeing are seeing me for pelvic pain and so that can be a nice way to help, kind of give them some pain relief. It can help with sleep. So we know there's a lot of these good benefits to solo sex or masturbation, whatever you want to call it, and I just think it's really good for people to know and understand their body and that's. I think masturbation is just a really great way to do that.
Speaker 1:Do you feel that's accurate in my, because I preach this all the time you need to have orgasms regularly and a sexual life with yourself regularly to maintain these basic pillars of health being the physical, the mental I would say the spiritual, if you will, and also the sexual.
Speaker 2:Yeah for sure. And the thing is too I would say the spiritual, if you will, and also the sexual, yeah for sure. And the thing is too I always say, like it may not even need to be having an orgasm because they're just getting blood flow into the pelvic floor muscles, into these nerves, into the clitoris, into all these structures, into the vaginal canal. All of that is really important for overall health.
Speaker 2:Yes, I agree, I definitely agree that I think it's important for all aspects of health and just mental health, and just like I also think we, we deserve to have pleasure as human beings. I mean, and I think that's why sometimes people do like saying sex toys or talk referring to them as toys, is because I think I don't know why we are so kind of like oh, we need to always be productive, we need to be achieving, we need to be doing things to like achieve some outcome, but why can't we just like have an enjoyable time? That doesn't have to be making money or achieving some goal or hitting some benchmark. So I think pleasure is important just because we have that capacity, and I think it's just important for our quality of life.
Speaker 1:I agree fully. Yeah, can you talk about specific conditions? Now Can we shift to specific medical conditions? Someone might experience, regardless of gender, where a vibrator or a sex toy could be and should be suggested to help treat it. I'd like to go over sort of the breadth of conditions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a lot, and I think probably the first big one that I treat most often is either pain with sex, which is medically known as dyspareunia but that's just like a fancy word for pain with sex or pain with penetrative sex. And then within that there's another condition known as vaginismus, which is the inability or difficulty to have anything inserted vaginally, so that could be a penis, a dildo, a finger, a tampon, a speculum, all of the above. And with vaginismus and with dyspareunia, with these conditions, it can be due to a variety of things and most often it's due to pelvic floor muscle dysfunction, where the muscles have become tense, guarded, or with vaginismus, they involuntarily just spasm and prevent anything from entering. So with all of those conditions, we're trying to work on teaching someone to relax those muscles, get them to not be so tense, not be so guarded. And again, one of the things that can really help with that is increasing blood flow to the area. And when someone has an orgasm, pelvic floor muscles have to relax to let blood flow in, contract to maintain the clitoral erection and then repetitively contract, relax, contract, relax. So it can be a good way to get muscle movement to happen to allow for relaxation.
Speaker 2:But the other reason I really enjoy or talk about masturbation for pain with sex or vaginismus is so many people start to fear sex because it's painful and so like rightfully so. If something's painful or uncomfortable we won't want to do it, we'll avoid it. So masturbation using vibrators is a great way to help someone start to associate that part of the body and sex with feeling good, versus it being painful and again doing it alone. Because when you have another person there that you technically maybe can't control, I mean you can communicate and hopefully tell your partner what's going on, but you're not inside their head, whereas if you're by yourself having sex with yourself, you're in control of the whole thing. So it allows someone to help their brain stop associating sex with pain and have a more positive experience.
Speaker 2:So that's kind of the first condition that's most common that I treat, as well as kind of how and why. I would incorporate masturbation and something like a vibrator for that specific patient population. But if we're thinking about, let's say, someone with a penis who has erectile dysfunction, they might be someone that I'm talking about using, you know, a vibrating ring because that can be at the base of their penis. It can help maintain the erection. It helps provide constant kind of stimulation which can also help maintain their erection. So there's a lot of different ways we can kind of incorporate it for all gender identities.
Speaker 1:Right. So it's funny because when we started this conversation, I was just thinking about using toys sex toys with all of the issues that vulva owners had, but of course there's also. There are a variety of conditions. People with penises can also experience with penises can also experience, and what you're saying is similarly for them.
Speaker 2:these devices can help enhance their sexual health and well-being, yes, and I see a lot of men who have sex with men, who have pain with receptive anal sex, and so for them I'm talking to them a lot about, you know getting some sort of either vibrator that's inserted rectally that they can help sort of learn to relax around and that can be really beneficial for them. So there's yeah, there's a lot of different, I think, ways these devices or toys can be used and again, I think we're so, I guess, programmed to be thinking about sex toys or vibrators as just a woman, female, specific thing, but really there's so many different people who can benefit from them and people I work with that I talk to about these different types of devices.
Speaker 1:Right, I hadn't even thought about the anal sex issue and somebody asking for help so that they could have a satisfying sex life with their partner. So what you're saying is there are things that you can actually do with the use of toys to help make being, you know, the receiver of anal sex like more enjoyable. Because we know like, once you get you know, once you can receive, once you learn how to sort of let go and open up for both gender or for all genders, it can be very enjoyable Like.
Speaker 1:I know that some of the most intense orgasms I've had is like during anal sex with a partner, and then, of course, for people who have penises, they have the prostate, so they can have like my understanding is probably even more intense orgasms than I would experience through anal penetration.
Speaker 2:But it's not necessarily an easy thing and it's not something that I feel like I am probably a little bit spoiled, being that I'm in San Francisco and we are a pretty, you know, open, progressive place.
Speaker 2:So I have a lot of patients who come in who are like oh yeah, my doctor told me I should get this prostate stimulator or suggested this. So I always have to remind myself that I'm like maybe if I wasn't where I am geographically, I'd probably be having maybe more difficult conversations or might not be as accepted by people. But I do have patients whose providers urologists, primary care doctor is talking to them about it, which is always nice to hear, or they know they're like oh yeah, I already went and bought this. Or I have even male patients that are in heterosexual relationships that ask me for prostate stimulators or where they can get them or what my recommendations are. So you know, I think it does depend on where people are in in the world. But, yeah, definitely like the, a prostate simulator I think is really helpful for people of a prostate because they can have a really intense and powerful orgasm that way I've also heard that, uh, prostate stimulation is actually can improve the health of the prostate is.
Speaker 1:Is that true? Yeah, right, right. I thought I had seen research around it, lowering the risk of prostate cancer and all of those kinds of things. I didn't throw that because, again, I don't have the studies in front of me. So I want to be really careful.
Speaker 2:But I mean yeah, I mean any. I guess I should say like masturbation or ejaculation in general is going to help achieve that Like. So the data shows that regular masturbation can be, or may be, helpful in reducing the risk of prostate cancer. Obviously, there's so many other factors that would impact someone's risk, but yeah, because the prostate creates the prostatic fluid that's involved in semen, you're going to get the prostate involved. Whether you're doing prostate massage or prostate stimulation or just you know kind of penile stimulation, whatever gets ejaculation to happen is going to impact the prostate in some way.
Speaker 1:So how prevalent do you think at this point the recommendation of sex toys is in the medical community?
Speaker 2:I don't have the specific numbers but my guess would be low, just given. Again, if we're thinking about how our health system works and what reimbursement rates are and like how we're very much focused on like medication, um, and that's kind of where the money is from, like the pharmaceutical companies, um. So you know, I, I, and there is definitely a place for medication, to be clear, but I, I don't think vibrators and sex toys are being discussed or prescribed as much as they should be, partly because of that. But also there's a few other issues in that most doctors don't have a lot of time with their patients. So, like I said, I always try to have these conversations of asking first getting their comfort level before I even go down that path.
Speaker 2:Most doctors don't have that time to be able to do that, so they probably don't feel comfortable just suddenly being like oh, you should go get a vibrator. Okay, bye, I'll see you in six months or I'll see you in a year. That can be kind of off-putting for someone. You need to have more of a conversation. So I think that's a big element of it is just kind of the lack of time. But again, also there's still this taboo, I think, around what sex toys are, why people might use them. And then the other big reason that we do have a lot of education on sex, and the studies have shown that most doctors hope that their patients don't ask them about sex because they're like I don't know how to even talk about it, I don't feel comfortable. And so I think there is this lack of education and being comfortable even having these conversations with patients.
Speaker 1:Right. Yeah, they don't know how to have them, and also, I'd imagine there's some risk around talking about sex or prescribing something that's sexual to a patient as well, depending on where you are. My question is this then for listeners, if they are struggling with, could you give a list of things where, if you're struggling with this and you're going to your doctor, these are the conditions you can bring up to your doctor? Hey, what kind of sex toy might help me with this condition? If your doctor isn't bringing that up to you? Here's where you can yourself ask them would this help me, or what do you think about this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so there's a lot of good resources out there. The first would be the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health, or ISHWISH, and that would be a good place to find a provider who's specialized in women's sexual health. There's also the International Sexual Medicine Society, or ISSM, and that again they have a whole provider list. So if you're trying to find someone to talk to to get recommendations and get information, that would be a good place to go for all genders.
Speaker 2:Um, the asect, which is the american sorry, I'm trying to remember the acronyms here um, the american society for sexuality educators, counselors and therapists. So they again have a acronyms here the American Society for Sexuality Educators, counselors and Therapists. So they again have a provider list. They have a lot of resources. Places even like Planned Parenthood I'm a huge fan of because they, I think, have a lot of good information. Bed Cider is another one. So there's a lot of different associations that I think are doing a good job in providing resources and providers who are experienced and know how to talk about sex and sex toys and vibrators.
Speaker 1:Right, and then what would be some of the conditions that you would recommend a patient bringing up sex toys to their provider?
Speaker 2:Gotcha, so yeah, so if someone's experiencing pain with sex, whether it's with penetration deeper, thrusting all of the above afterwards, pain with orgasness, erectile dysfunction, premature or rapid ejaculation or the opposite, delayed ejaculation, pain with receptive anal sex, pain with erections, any type of vulvar or vaginal pain, all of those things would be reasons to talk to your doctor.
Speaker 1:Pain All of those things would be reasons to talk to your doctor Right, and ask them about the possibility of a sex toy being helpful with the, you know, with the alleviation of the frustration. I do agree with you. Oftentimes it's the answer is to go straight to meds, when actually slowing down and taking time to work with your own body and give it pleasure and teach it pleasure is a better long-term solution, right.
Speaker 2:I think there can be a place for all of the above, because the thing I always tell patients is, when we're looking at the pelvis and this area of the body, there's so many things that live inside the pelvis, so we have to be thinking about multiple systems. You know, you have the bladder, you have the uterus or the prostate, you have the rectum, so those are right there, three different systems that require often three different doctors, because our medical system is very siloed. So you need to go see a urologist, a gynecologist and a colorectal doctor right there, like, and then we have the pelvic floor muscles, you have all these nerves, you have the blood vessels and then the brain is controlling all of it. So typically when people come to see me, which might involve medication, might involve acupuncture, might involve dietary changes and it can definitely involve a vibrator. So I think recognizing that it might not just be one thing that's going to help.
Speaker 1:Right and check it out, guys. If you get a vibrator, it's part of your health routine and your play routine. This is like you know. This is going to feed every part of your life. Yeah, it's just not one. It's not only enhancing your sex life which will definitely do that, but also your physical, mental, emotional health as well. And you now have heard it from a legit doc over here.
Speaker 1:It's not just me. It's not just me flinging toys at you for no reason, so thank you so much for that. So if you are experiencing any of those conditions and struggling to find the answer or get results, this is something you can bring up to your doctor. I also want to mention I am very familiar with Good Vibes and so I'm going to be running the website for them. Below you can check them out, and I believe I also have a discount code for their stores.
Speaker 1:So if you want to go and check out, we've got a doctor for their stores. So if you want to go and check out, we've got a doctor, like you know, here saying that the products they offer are high quality and they are. So feel free to check that out below and check out Good Vibes. But can you tell my listeners where they can find you if they want to know more about what you do or reach out to you? How can they get a hold of you? You?
Speaker 2:if they want to know more about what you do or reach out to you. How can they get a hold of you? Yeah, so the best way is to go through my website, which is pelvicwellpt, or they can search pelvic wellness and physical therapy. That's the name of my clinic. My email address is right there. They can also search Rachel Gellman, pelvic floor physical therapist, if that's easier. My main social media is through Instagram. I'm Pelvic Health SF and people can reach out to me because I also have many, many discount codes to a variety of different vibrators, sex toy options, and I do have a list of different ones I recommend. So I'm happy to provide that to anyone if they want to reach out to me either on social media or through email.
Speaker 1:Perfect. So I brought this topic on and, of course, our expert here because I'm hoping that hearing more people talk about the benefits of pleasure, of sex toys, of being your own best lover, is going to help give you permission, because the way in which most of us are brought up in this society is with shame around any and all of it, and we've been separated from our own pleasure and all of the benefits that come with it. It's integral to our quality of life, to our health, to our longevity, and more and more people, even in the medical community, are embracing that and trying to spread the news. So this episode is about giving you permission. If you have anxiousness around the idea of a sex toy and feel like it's a frivolous thing and something to hide, know that it is not and that you have permission to explore and improve your life in all areas. And now you've heard it from the expert, not just me. So, rachel, thank you so much for joining me today.
Speaker 1:I really appreciate you taking the time to tell my listeners about this. So, of course, happy to be here and to my listeners, I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.
Speaker 2:Cheers.