Hotwife 101 w/ Serenity Cox: Rules & How to Start

Curious about the hotwife lifestyle? 🔥

In this episode of Talk Sex with Annette, I sit down with Hot Wife and Wifey Ambassador Serenity Cox to break down one of the most talked-about relationship trends right now. We cover what it really is, how couples build trust and set boundaries, and what to know if you’ve ever been curious about exploring it.

This conversation is all about consent, connection, and real-world relationship dynamics. Whether you’re partnered, curious, or just here for the deep dive, this one’s for you.

✨ What we cover:

• What “hotwife” actually means
• How this lifestyle differs from swinging and open relationships
• Consent, boundaries, and communication tips
• How couples get started—without pressure
• Why this can deepen intimacy and trust
• Real stories from Serenity’s experience

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Chapters

• 1:30 New Name, Same Locker Room
• 2:21 Hot Wifing 101: Setting the Stage
• 3:50 Serenity Cox: From ER Nurse to Creator
• 6:14 Definitions: Hot Wife vs Swinging vs Cuckold
• 10:36 Why Men Love It, Why Women Thrive
• 13:26 Reconnection Rituals and Aftercare
• 16:38 Boundaries, Choice, and Consent in Practice
• 19:26 Finding Partners and Vetting Safely
• 24:11 Repeat Partners, Filming, and Threesomes
• 29:30 Two Men, One Woman: Respect and Control
• 33:47 Studio Scenes, Safety, and Fantasy
• 37:19 Risks: Communication, Privacy, Stigma
• 40:55 Normal People, Real Relationships
• 43:48 From Fantasy to Reality: Their Origin Story
• 47:34 First Hot-Wife Night: The Play-by-Play
• 51:44 A Starter Roadmap for Newbies
• 55:46 Clubs, Communities, and Comfort Zones

Transcript

Annette: 0:46

I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast formerly known as Locker Room Talk and Shots. The show has a new name, Talk Sex with Annette. But at its core, this is still your locker room. It's where we strip away shame, get curious, and speak the unspoken about sex, kink, dating, pleasure, and desire. Around here, nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chats, our most trusted friends, and of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest, and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. If you've been here from the beginning, thank you. And if you're new, welcome to my podcast where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Now, let's talk about sex. Cheers. Right low. Today's Talk Sex with Annette topic is hot wifing 101 with Serenity Cox Inside, the lifestyle that's blowing up online. So today we are diving into one of the most taboo and most talked-about topics in relationships right now: hot wifing. If you have ever wondered what it's like to watch your partner with someone else, or if the thought of that sends a mix of curiosity and shivers down your spine, then you're not alone. Hot wifing has exploded in popularity. And nobody embodies it more than my guest today, Serenity Cox. Serenity went from emergency department nurse to adult content creator. Along with her husband, she became the face of the Hot Wife lifestyle. She is the ambassador for Wifey, the first adult content platform dedicated to real couples. And she's here to break down the myths, the psychology, and the sheer erotic potential of letting your partner play outside the lines. We'll talk about how she and her husband got started, why this lifestyle can actually strengthen trust, and what newbies need to know before diving in back. So buckle up, because this episode may push some buttons and it may also unlock some desires you didn't know you have. But before we dive in, I want to remind you that I'm over on OnlyFans and There. I'm sharing my sex and intimacy how-tos demos and audio-guided self-pleasure meditations. I'm also offering one-off coaching questions and answers. So if you're not ready to lock in with a sex coach, you can give it a try by sending me a question there. You can find me there at talk sex within it. You can also find me over on Substack doing a whole lot of the same under at TalkSexWithanit. And of course, you can scroll down to the links below and you're going to find me everywhere you want to find me. Can't wait to see you there. Now, Serenity, I would love for you to tell my listeners a little bit more about you. I'm so excited about this interview.

Serenity: 3:49

Well, thanks, Annette. That was quite the introduction that you gave. I don't know if I can do any better. But yeah, that's basically it. I am a hot wife by lifestyle. And I'm also an amateur as well as professional content creator in the adult industry. I did start out as an emergency nurse, but have taken a sidestep into the adult industry very happily and having a wonderful wild ride right now.

Annette: 4:23

This is a topic you guys have been begging me to cover. And when I had the opportunity to interview you, I was like, there couldn't be no one better for this moment or this topic. Listeners, we're going to learn a lot today about something that I think sounds super sexy and interesting. Uh, hopefully, for those of you who have had this fantasy or felt this excitement at the idea of seeing your woman with somebody else, it's gonna help you feel a little less alone, maybe understand this lifestyle a little bit more. But some of you are just gonna learn about it and you're gonna go to the bedroom and masturbate afterwards. And and we're gonna give you tips on not only what it is, but how to get started or give it a try if it's something you're interested in. So I don't I don't need to give you any more reasons to stay to the end. I'm ready. Let's let's dive in. I am ready to talk about hot wifing. Cheers.

Serenity: 5:28

Cheers. Let's do it.

Annette: 5:29

Let's do it. So, what the hell is hot wifing? Let's just start there. Can you tell someone, for somebody who has never heard of it, what exactly is hot wifing?

Serenity: 5:41

So I'm gonna talk about it in the context of a man-woman-married couple, because that's what I'm familiar with and what I do. So, within this two-person committed unit, the woman will go out and have sexual experiences with other people besides her husband, but with full support and consent and excitement from the husband. So it's encouraged. And there's a whole spectrum of how the husband might or might not be involved in those activities. For some, the husband is there watching his wife with other men or other people. For some, the husband is joining in and like a threesome style or a group uh play session. And for some, the wife is going on her own with other men and then coming home and bringing these stories home to her husband to share and bring out excitement for both of them. So it's all the same sort of driving kink is that the wife is having experiences with other men, but there's just different ways that the and can kind of overlap as well. There's no real hard, fast rule beyond the both partners being fully into it together.

Annette: 6:48

How does hot wifing differ from swinging or cuckolding or just having an open relationship?

Serenity: 6:59

So they're all under the same sort of umbrella of a consensual non-monogamy, but just with slight differences. I think the closest thing to hot wifing would be the cuckold dynamic. The difference being that with cuckold, there's a little more like humiliation or degradation towards the husband. The wife goes out and there's a lot of comparison, like this man is pleases me better than you, or is there's there's that sort of the the husband usually gets some kind of thrill out of being humiliated by the wife's actions. Whereas hot wifing is more everybody's just having a good time. Nobody's trying to compete or or or humiliate anybody. It's just a pure just for pleasure. Swinging tends to be more where both partners are either having experiences couple on couple, or they're both seeking out these experiences. Whereas hot wife, it's just the wife who does, and the husband gets the pleasure through her pleasure. And was there any other terms that we're comparing? I think it's just all kind of under the umbrella of consensual non-monogamy, just different kinks, different preferences.

Annette: 8:01

So yeah, I guess I would say then what are the standout traits that mark the difference between hot wifing and everything else? It sounds like one is it's the wife that is primarily going out. And are you only having sex with other men? Or does this include other women?

Serenity: 8:24

That's dependent on the on the couple. For us, it's mostly men. I do have experiences with other women as well, but there's more of a thrill with other men, especially for my husband. He likes to, he likes to enjoy seeing me or being with me with other men. I think it still falls under the same definition if the wife is having experiences with other women, if the man is finding pleasure from that. But it is hard to like put a put the relationship in a box or a definition because everybody, we're so unique. We all have our different sort of tweaks or kinks within the specific kink.

Annette: 9:29

So what would make it appeal to a man? What is the drive behind wanting to have his wife go out and be with other men?

Serenity: 9:43

There's different uh sort of motives or excitements behind it. For us, I mean, I'm not I'm not an expert. I only know what I've experienced and can share our own journey. But for my husband, he just really likes seeing me getting as much pleasure as I can get. And he enjoys watching me with another man. And that's just exciting for him to see me fully immersed in pleasure that he can sit back and watch or bring that home to him. There's just a real excitement that his wife is doing these incredible things with somebody else. But I do think that it's it's definitely dependent on the husband. And there's different thoughts and different motives behind everybody's kinks and preferences.

Annette: 10:25

Is there a sense of pride? Like this is my wife, and you get to have her for a moment, but this is my person.

Serenity: 10:35

Yeah, I think that's definitely mixed up with it as well. Is it just knowing that he has this wife who's desirable to other men? So like he's like, there is pride there. There's pride in me being like this desirable woman that that is his partner, but also that knowledge that after this, I come home to him and like he's my person and I'm his person. So as much as I get to do this with other men, at the end of the day, like we're each others. So there's there's there's so many different different emotions and different feelings just mixed in with it. And what is what are the biggest thrills for you? So for me, of course, it's it's exciting to have experiences with different men. Like that's just knowing that I have the encouragement and permission, I guess. I don't like using the word permission because that makes it sound more possessive, but just the the support of my husband to go out and experience what I want to experience sexually and fully be this sexual person, this woman who can just do whatever I want, right? But the thrill for me is when I come home and share those experiences with my husband, or just talking about it or role-playing it and just how it brings us closer together and just seeing the the excitement in his eyes. There's just something really unmatched about that reconnection afterwards.

Annette: 11:59

For some people, there's like a reclamation period. Is that something that you experience or that you could explain to my listenership a little bit better?

Serenity: 12:09

Yeah. So the reclamation again, some of these, some of these terms we don't necessarily identify with, but we do some of the same actions. Reclamation kind of to me sounds like you're mine, I'm taking you back. Like you've been out with this guy now, I'm taking you back as mine, which I think probably there's some of that in it, but I like to call it a reconnection because it's about the two of us sharing this experience and having our own intimate moments afterwards and just feeling that thrill together. So less of a reclamation and more of a reconnection afterwards. And we definitely do that in there's different ways we do. Sometimes it's just storytelling and like closeness. Sometimes it's a full, full, like vigorous sex. And sometimes it's just like a little playful teasing or or oral sex, or there's there's different different levels that we'll do, but there's always some kind of reconnection afterwards that's involved.

Annette: 13:10

All right. I mean, that sounds hot to me. Does he ever ask or feel the need to be with other women, or is that just not part of the di dynamic at all? Is that not an urge because he's getting what get it like this is his thing for us?

Serenity: 13:28

And and right now, I mean, things evolve, dynamics change and relationships evolve. But right now, we are both fully satisfied by the the dynamic that we have. And he doesn't have experiences with other women that might change down the road. I'm not opposed to that, but right now we're just really having fun with this, with this side of things.

Annette: 13:50

Yeah, does he have a say in who the men are? Do you choose them together? How do you how do you get your other dicks? That's what I want to know.

Serenity: 13:59

So usually I'll find the men myself, but I do so my my method is always dating apps. We're kind of more of private people. We don't go out to clubs or kick up people in at swingers' clubs. We're more dating apps and swiping through gentlemen, and I'll find somebody who I find interesting, have a bit of a conversation first. And if I want to pursue something, then I'll bring bring this profile or conversation to my husband and say, What do you think of this guy? I think I'm interested and I want to pursue him. And if for I mean, he's usually, if I'm into somebody, he's usually on board. But if there is something that he doesn't think is quite right or doesn't quite quite like, I don't go for it. We have to both be both be on board and I have to get his his blessing for it to be enjoyable.

Annette: 14:49

And so do you is he there present most of the time? Do you do a mix? How do you decide that?

Serenity: 14:58

Personally, we do a mix. Most often when I first find a guy, it'll be one-on-one at first. So I don't bring my husband along the first time I'm meeting somebody because sometimes that's a little bit intimidating because it's usually single guy. Not all of them have had experiences with hot wife couples before. So I like to kind of get a feel for him, make sure that he's comfortable with me, and not just bombard him with this is my husband, and we're both going to be involved in this. So that's just my preference. I like everyone to be comfortable. I don't like there to be any sort of feelings of unease. I want everyone to just be relaxed. And once I know that I'm comfortable with the guy and he's okay with my husband being present, then we have an introduction and we kind of take it step by step.

Annette: 15:40

So up front, they know you're a hot wife. They they understand the dynamic.

Serenity: 15:44

Yes. I make sure that even in my little dating profile, I have happily married and then have a little bit of our dynamic, and I'm very open about what we do and what I'm looking for, just so that I don't end up coming across anybody who's looking for a relationship or or not comfortable with a with a husband being involved in the picture. I want everyone to be comfortable and just open about everything right from the start.

Annette: 16:11

How hard is it to find men? It's it's not too hard. It's not hard. Come on, why don't you just be honest? Yeah, it's it's not too hard. I know that there are men out there listening right now going, oh, real men wouldn't want to do that. Bob, you all would in a fucking heartbeat. You would swipe on her profile and you'd be like, Coppy has to know, I'm doing it. Yeah. We don't have too hard a time yet. Yeah, that's what I figured. That's what I figured. And so do you have ongoing partners?

Serenity: 16:47

Yes. So I do, I'm always kind of on the lookout with for new people, but over the years, we've been doing this for like five years now. So over the years, we've made some great friends with people that I've I first just sought out as uh hookups or part or one-time partners. And then they've come back and then we've formed friendships. So there's there's a few people who are repeat partners that to come and go. Sometimes it'll be they'll be dating somebody for a bit and then healthier from them when they've had a breakup and be like, oh, you're still doing the hot life thing. So it's nice to have like these familiarities with people that you're you're comfortable with and and have that trust with and not always just looking for new people.

Annette: 17:29

So when they join you and your husband wherever, what can you tell me what that looks like?

Serenity: 17:37

So when we're doing like a full threesome with my husband involved. Uh oh, yeah. What is the what's involved? What does that look like? So my husband likes he likes to watch, but he also likes to join in, but not not fully. So usually he'll sit back and and watch as as I'm having an experience with a gentleman, and then he'll kind of like come in for a little bit and then sit back for a little bit, and then come in for a little bit and sit back for a little bit. So he kind of comes and goes. We do, I mean, this is all kind of intertwined with our content creation. So often we're doing, even if it's just for us, often my husband's filming it. Almost always, even if we're not putting it on the internet, he's filming it because like we love just watching back our experiences. So when he's sitting back and watching, he's usually also filming it and then and then joining in because that's just also the kink for us.

Annette: 18:32

But the filming, the filming, yeah. Yeah. Why, why wouldn't it be? So when you say he doesn't fully join in, what does that mean?

Serenity: 18:42

So at first, it's usually just as I can see that my husband's becoming more aroused, I'll like call him in to do a bit of oral sex with him. And often he'll just watch and then I'll give him some oral sex while I'm while I'm having having sex with the other gentleman. And then usually if I can tell that he's really aroused, I kind of base it on how how he's looking, how he how aroused he seems to be, and how close he's getting to to the to the action. And then I'll switch around and ask him to to join in.

Annette: 19:14

But yeah, so it can be a full threesome if you want, based on sort of his mood and how he's enjoying it.

Serenity: 19:22

Yeah, how he is, and also and also on the comfort of the the other guy. If it's somebody who's new, then it might just be more of a watching thing. And if it's somebody like who we're we're really good friends with and we get together with all the time, just it's back and forth like a full, full threesome. Right, right. Do you have a preference? Do I have a preference? I love when they're both involved. I love when my husband is fully involved with me and another guy.

Annette: 19:47

Yeah, I was gonna say, I mean, it seems obvious to me what I would want with that situation, but it's fun just having the attention of two men.

Serenity: 19:56

I find it life a very fortunate situation to be in where my husband loves it as much as I do. And just having this attention and being the middle. Yeah.

Annette: 20:06

It's so funny to me because years ago, for some reason, I thought the idea of multiple men was I had a really negative connotation with it. Like it would be for some reason, it seemed kind of violent. The idea of it, just two men like being aggressive was in my mind. And someone said to me once, because I was saying, I can't imagine why any woman would want to be with two men. And my girlfriend was like, Really? You don't want two men worshiping your body and paying attention to you. And so I stopped and I started like reimagining it. And sure enough, when I had the experience, I was like, Oh my god, this is lovely. They're so nice. They were so I haven't had a lot of experience, but the experience that I the experiences I've had, I feel like I was almost treated better in those situations. Like they're so careful and respectful. And like, I was definitely treated like a goddess.

Serenity: 21:11

And I think that's important to say because I think a lot of people, when they do hear when there's more men than women in a in a dynamic or like multiple male partners, their minds still go to that, that it's going to be like male dominant and aggressive. Whereas the female can still be in control when she's surrounded by men and can still be directing how she wants her pleasure. And this, it's, it doesn't have to be about the men and what they're getting from this one woman. And I think that's just such an old-fashioned way of thinking. And people still, their minds go there. For example, I'm gonna I'm going off on a limb here. So I recently did with uh with with Vixen, I recently did my first gangbang scene. And I had never had that experience in my private life, but it was something that I've always kind of fantasized about. And so they set up this gangbang scene for me. And a lot of people were just like, a lot of my my subscribers who watch my my work were quite excited about it. But a lot of people were like, like, I can't believe you're going there, Serenity. Like, this is this is too much. But really, it was it was the most respectful and beautiful experience. And on set, I talked to all of these. There were six or six different and I talked to all of them beforehand, let each of them know this is my first time doing a scene with this many men. It's my first time having a gangbang in general. So just letting them know. And each one of them was like they'd they'd all done it before because they were kind of like they're like the team that they had. They go with, don't worry, Serenity, we've got you. Like, just you don't have to worry about a thing. You just sit there, enjoy like lazy or enjoy, look, look good, and and we've got you. Like, we'll take care of you. And they did. And it was just, it was so much fun. And I knew like it was good that I just I chatted with each of them beforehand so that they all knew it was my first time. And like this, each one had the same response, and they were like, This is about you. You're gonna have a great time. And I felt completely respected and and in control, even though there were six big guys around me, because you know, if anything was anything was up, we had talks about what I was comfortable with, what I wasn't comfortable with, and we all just had this communication beforehand, and I felt just completely safe and completely uh looked after, and it was great. And it's it doesn't have to be about the guys getting it from this girl, it can be about giving this experience to a woman who is a highly sexual person and just wants it.

Annette: 23:32

Right. I I think that people unfortunately, oh at least older school porn did kind of portray multiple men on and a woman in more of an aggressive way. But I think the reality is I personally and from talking to experts like yourself, I think men are almost on better behavior when there's more than one of them around. And and I think there's also this, you know, if they're good people, this knowledge that, okay, we've got to like make sure this person is feels safe and consensual, maybe a little competition who can give more pleasure, which always is gonna be good for you. So yeah, there is a lot of stigma around it, especially for women, because first of all, we're supposed to not even want sex. We certainly aren't supposed to want sex with more than one man. So it's been framed in this real, whereas like a man wanting to be with a harem of women is beautiful. That's okay with society, right? Right, right. And so there's really you gotta undo that stigma in your head and that sort of scripting, patriarchal scripting. So it makes sense to me. And so I'm sure for your husband in that situation, seeing you like multiple men will probably be a turn on in the hot wife wifing realm as well, right? Oh yeah.

Serenity: 25:02

He was very excited. He was he was so stoked for that. And that's and that's part of part of the reason that I that I do the professional scenes with Vixen as well, is that it like it's really fun, but it also, even though I'm doing that on my own in a studio, like in a different country from my husband, I bring those stories home and that fully feeds our our kink as well. And and like I said, what we both have fantasies about multiple men with me. Um, and in our private life, we just weren't able to make that happen in a way that I was comfortable. So we've we've never done it in our private life. But when the opportunity for doing it in like a studio with Vixen arose, that was just so exciting. So we were like, this is a way to do what we fantasize about in like a really controlled and safe way. And it it happened, and I brought those stories home to my husband, and we were both just like like high five. Like it was, it was really exciting that that I got to do that, even though he wasn't there. It was still, and then whenever it came out afterwards, we got to watch it together in this like beautiful, high. I don't I don't know the the word for it is just a very beautiful film.

Annette: 27:15

Yeah, and and I'm sure that there's a lot of more safety for you. Another layer of that when you're doing it at a studio, right? Yeah. I mean, I'm assuming there's different health checks, there's different vetting these people for you. Yeah, 100%. Yeah. It's a very, very, very safe. I love that. I love that for you. What are some of, let's say, the risks that do come along with it? Would you say that you would want people to know about? Yeah, you love this, you're having a great time with it. But if you were to say to someone who is interested, this is a fantastic thing, I fully support you. Here are some things to know ahead of time and consider before you jump in.

Serenity: 28:02

I think most of the risks come down to a couple's ability to communicate or their inability to communicate. I think before you go into this or take a jump into this lifestyle, you have to have a lot of really in-depth conversations with your partner. If you don't have a talk about your limits or your boundaries as a couple, then you can have, you can run into problems if you do something that your partner's not comfortable with. So you have to really communicate beforehand and come up with your intentions, what excites you, what you're not okay with before you go into it. Another thing that is worth thinking about is how your friends and family might react if they found out how, like what your lifestyle is. For us, we didn't have those conversations with our family and friends because it was something we did in private. However, we also decided that we wanted to put it all over the internet. So people found out once our kinky little secret became everywhere online. So we had a lot of people coming to us who we hadn't had conversations with before. I don't think if we hadn't made this into a content creation journey, I don't think we necessarily would have had the need to talk to other people about it. But it is something to think about how you would respond to other people if they do question or have different beliefs about what a husband-wife dynamic should be. Did you deal with that? It luckily it went fairly painlessly. But thinking back, it was it was a little naive of us to think that people weren't gonna find out when we were fully putting sex tapes on the internet. Right. I mean, although we didn't expect it our channel to get as popular as it did so fast. But anyway, when when it did get out there and people found out what we were doing, we had to have again another conversation of how we were gonna respond to that. And we decided that we were just gonna lean into it, be confident, and explain exactly what this dynamic meant to us, how it had nothing to do with who we were as people that they know. And we ended up just having a lot of really healthy conversations with people who may not have known about this dynamic as a normal thing that a husband and wife can do, regular people like us. So some really healthy conversations came out of it. A few toxic conversations came out of it, but overall, it the more talk there is, I don't think it can ever be a bad thing.

Annette: 30:43

Right. You figure out who's who is supposed to be in your life and in your circle real quick, right? Yes, it's true. I love that you say normal people like us. This is something that normal people like us do. I think that's key for listeners to hear. Of course, they took it to the next level, which normal people do, right? But a lot of people that do this are people who are nurses or teachers, just everyday folks are doing things like this, hot wifing, choosing a lifestyle outside of your conventional monogamous relationship and finding it fulfilling and having really healthy, happy relationships together.

Serenity: 31:31

Yeah, and it's it's true. Like we we've now that now that it's all out there and we but we put it all over the internet, we use this as a platform to uh normalize things and to talk about it because most people don't, and you don't need to talk about it if this is something in your private life, you don't need to put it, put it on the internet. But since we are, it's a good excuse to to chat with people. I have so many messages from couples, from women who are having thoughts like this or who have seen our content and and want to want to do what we do. And and I responded to have these private conversations with people about the their barriers to doing this or their fears about it or how we went around and how we navigated it. And I think that's really like it makes it makes me feel good. Be somebody that people think they can reach out to because you don't always reach out to just your your friends who don't know this is what you're doing in your private life. So it's it's nice to have somebody if an adult content creator because really, like I am just a regular person. If I wasn't putting this on the internet, my husband and I would still be having our hot wife threesums and just enjoying life. And and it's it's just completely healthy and completely normal. That's not to say that it's for everyone. I'd never say that non-monogamous relationships work for everyone. We're just beautifully unique humans, and everybody has their own way of functioning and their own way of making relationships work.

Annette: 32:54

So, what would you say some of the misconceptions are, the myths that are around hot wifing that are not true?

Serenity: 33:04

I think a lot of people think that married couples who open up their relationship are trying to fix something, which is sometimes the case, but it's not always the case for us. We were totally happy and we had a really good sex life. We were just not fixing something, but adding something to a relationship that was already really good and just enhancing taking our sex life to the next level. So a lot of people think you're trying to fix it by bringing in other partners, but really it can just be enhancing and adding to it and just exploring.

Annette: 33:38

How did you end up here? So your relationship did not start as a hot wife dynamic. You got together as sort of a standard monogamous couple. You're together for how long?

Serenity: 33:55

Trying to think about we've been together a while, like we've been together for 13 years, and we just started doing a hot wife thing five years ago. Yeah, started out as a monogamous couple, got married as a monogamous couple, but we had always had these themes in our sex life and these sort of kinks that we developed over time together. It really started out in my husband's uh interest in my previous relationships, meaning he would early on in our in our sex life, in our dating life, he would ask me some questions about like previous partners that I'd been with that I had never been asked by previous partners before. I'd only been used to these very kind of like vanilla, monogamous, kind of like possessive type of boyfriends. And then when I was with him and he'd ask these questions, I at first didn't know what to do with that. Be like, why do you even know these details about my previous sexual experiences? Like, because in my head, I I would say I would only understand that as somebody being jealous or judgy if they wanted to know. Like, because my experience with men had only been that. It like they wanted you to be a good girl before them, right? But I realized very soon that my husband was quite interested in just experiences I'd had. And if I told him he wasn't judging, he was very excited. So I learned very soon that the more I told him about experiences I'd had without him or before him, the more kind of interested and excited he would get, and the better sex we'd have together. So I really like this was really interesting to me and really exciting to me because I could see how I could push his buttons and how I could get like this excited response from him. And this kind of just happened over the years. And then I started, I soon ran out of stories to tell because I didn't have that many experiences before him. So it soon just turned into this storytelling and role-playing and like making up stories that hadn't necessarily happened. And this again, it's just like organically, slowly over the years, just as you learn about what turns on your partner, he would learn things that turned me on. I would know that I could tell him some made-up, very slutty story about myself, would get him going, and then we'd have the best sex ever. So, like this just built up over the years, and it just kind of often like our role-playing would come back to threesems, pretending to have other partners with us, and particularly men, or telling him I'd been out and and done this with a guy, and then he'd get really turned on. So eventually it just kept evolving, and then we decided to try it for real. But it was very slow. It wasn't just like a one day have a conversation. What do you think about having sex with other people? It was a very much like learning about each other, pressing buttons, and seeing the response and just a very organic development of a kink together that neither of us had done before in previous relationships, but we were kind of getting the wheels rolling toward it together. And it was really cool.

Annette: 37:04

That is interesting how you almost like developed and nurtured kinks together as a couple. That's really beautiful. That's a beautiful thing to be able to do with someone else. And I love the way you went about it, which when it comes to advising people on how do you try out this? How do you get into this? I mean, you almost, your own story is almost a roadmap, right? You can start with storytelling, you can start with fantasizing.

Serenity: 37:39

And that's true. And a lot of a lot of people do ask me these questions, like, how do I and often people will phrase it wrong. Like if a often it's when I when a husband or a a male partner asks me the question, like, how do I convince my wife to or or how do I make my partner do what you do? And it's just such a wrong way of thinking about it. It's not about convincing someone to do something, it's not about putting this on someone, it's about like developing it or taking that journey together. Just make somebody into something that they've maybe never thought about before. You can't just convince somebody to be a hot wife. You have to start slow maybe not as slow as we did, because it was years and years, but like just start with a conversation about fantasies in general. I like that. Like, not just this is my fantasy, what do you think of it? Like have a conversation, open conversation. What turns you on? What's something that you fantasize about that you've maybe never told me? This is something that comes up in my mind a lot when we're having our intimate times, or this is something that when I'm when I'm watching adult content, when I'm watching porn, this is the kind of thing that turns me on. Does this turn you on? What do you think of this? Like just having conversations about what kind of thrills you and explaining why or what makes you feel that way is really fun conversation to have. And it can be a difficult conversation, but it's it's important in order to grow and develop these kinks or go on these journeys together.

Annette: 39:13

Yeah, I love that. Starting with a conversation. And I mean, to me, then after the conversation, like the next step is people don't run out and just bang a guy. You know what I mean? Like, this is like I love the way you guys started by let's try it in the fantasy world. Maybe it's just a fantasy that we don't want to have step into the real world and and like really work that fantasy through storytelling, sharing of past experiences and see how that makes you feel. And then you can start looking at okay, now we've done this for some time, whatever that is. Now we can we can look at making this a real thing. I would love for you to tell my listeners about the very first time you officially hotwifed.

Serenity: 40:08

That was, yeah, that is so vivid in my mind because we've had we've had a lot of experiences since then. We've made some really good relationships with people, but you don't forget your first time. And so in our progression of this journey, we eventually included dating apps into it. Before I even went out with guys, we would look through dating apps as a fun foreplay and talk about like, oh, this guy I think is really hot. What do you think? Would you like to see me with this guy? And that was also part of our role-playing until we decided to actually I'd start like swiping yes on the guys and chatting with them and then having like dirty talk with guys just online, not in person, and like dear dirty talking with these real men while having sex with my husband was like the next level. And then eventually there was one guy who I started talking with more and more and kind of like had a bit of a connection and then told him what I was doing, and like this is my husband and I are getting off on this. And so we chatted for like a few weeks. And eventually he was like, Do you want to meet up? Like, do you want to meet face to face and like look at my husband, like, is it okay? Can I do this? Can we meet up? And he was like, Yes, yes, you can. So I I like I went out on this. It was, I mean, it was the middle of the pandemic. So we went on a picnic in a park, as people did for dates, and then yeah, we went out, had a picnic in a park, met face to face, had some wine and snacks, and then he was like, Do you want to come back to my condo? I texted my husband and like, he's invited me back to his place. Is it okay if I go with him? Like, this was there was so much like excitement, but also like nervousness because as much as my husband was like encouraging and like, this is awesome, this is really exciting. He still kind of don't know until it happens if it's actually gonna be okay. So yeah, he invited me back and we had a wild night because this was the first time in like my, I don't know how long I'd been with my husband then that I this is the first time I'd been with another man besides my husband in like years. So it was very exciting. But then afterwards, I remember just like taking the taxi back home, being like, oh my God, is this okay? Is this okay? Like it was thrilling. And I sent my husband a few updates and like some like pictures and stuff. And then when I got home, my heart was racing because I'm like, I'm coming back to him to see if like he's okay with this. And it was like, as soon as I saw him, he was just like, like, tell me everything. And we had the most like magical connection and the best sex, and it was just unreal because the relief of me knowing that it was okay, him like just like taking me and like wanting to hear everything. And from then I knew that this was really fun and we needed to have this as part of our sex life.

Annette: 43:13

Yeah, it sounds amazing. So there you go, guys. You got you got the first time in hot wifing experience, and it doesn't sound bad to me. It wasn't bad. So at this point, I would love for you to tell my listeners who might be interested, whether they're a man or a woman, give them their takeaways. What can they do starting tonight to instigate this in or bring it into their life? If they are wanting to dip their toe and hot wifing experience, let's give them sort of a package, if you will, that can get them there.

Serenity: 43:59

For sure. Step one, always start the conversation and start it, start it slow and make it a back and forth. So start the conversation, just talk, talk about your fantasies and what you're into. Number two, I would say is incorporate storytelling or role-playing or toys to act as a third into your own sexual experiences. And I think not until those two steps you've become comfortable with talking about it, setting your limits, and and playing in a in a safe role-playing scenario, then have talks about whether it's something that you'd be okay with doing for real. And it all depends on the couple whether finding your other person is more comfortable for you in like a like a bar or a sex club scenario, or whether, like us, the the private people, to find somebody on like a dating app or something that's a little more private. I also something I didn't mention about sex clubs and swingers clubs is we're we don't usually, we don't go to a lot of them, but one thing I do like is even if you're not at that point where you're ready to have experiences with other people, sometimes it's fun just to be around other people who are having sex around you or to have sex in front of other people and just see if you're comfortable in that situation. And I mean, most places have a either I've seen like wristband systems, whether you're playing with other people or not, or if just communicating with other people if you're just playing with your partner or if you're with other people. And most people are very okay with you just being there to be like a couple voyeur or or have people watch you. And it's kind of just a fun, exciting way to just insert yourself into that world without necessarily having sex with other people.

Annette: 45:59

Are there communities you can join?

Serenity: 46:04

There are communities you can join. There are a lot of online communities. I don't I don't use a lot of them. There's a lot of like swingers groups and which have subgroups for Hot Wife couples. We don't really use those, so I can't really plug those. We had a lot of fun through Fet Life originally when we first started, just mostly for the discussion forums and seeing what other people were doing and what other people are into. That's how we even learned the term hot wipe. We didn't know that what we were doing was something that other people were doing when we first started. We were just like, this is what we like and this is what we enjoy. And it wasn't until we went online and were looking at kink forums and stuff that we realized we're like, there's a name for this. It's called hot wife, and you're this is a stag and a vixen, and like all these words that people were using to just describe what we were figuring out on our own.

Annette: 46:54

I can't believe I didn't think to ask you to go through the hot wife terminology. I don't what is a stag? What is a vixen? Is that part of hot wifing? Can we do hot wifing terminology? Okay, let me try.

Serenity: 47:10

So so we defined hot wife already, and then there's also consensual non-monogamy, which is a super important term because it just means that nobody's cheating, both people are giving consent for whatever dynamic is is involving people outside the marriage. Stag is the term most often used for the husband of a hot wife couple because he's not a cuck, he is fully involved and he's not being degraded or humiliated. So stag is the husband of a hot wife couple. Vixen is kind of used interchangeably with hot wife, or it can also be used in, I think, the the cuck cold situations as well, but it's the wipe of the of the of the non-monogamous couple. Where's there any other ones that we we needed to define?

Annette: 47:56

Are there any others? But that's that kind of so you've got the stag of the vixen. And wait, what's what do you call the guys? What what are the guys? The guy is generally called a bull.

Serenity: 48:07

We we don't we don't routinely use these terms in our own private life. It's more just when we're having talks for public or when we're using key search terms for our content that we put online. People like to know the know those terms and what kind of dynamic for their own arousal. But yeah, bull is the guy who joins a married couple. All right.

Annette: 48:31

I like it. So there you go, guys. You've got your go package of how to get started tonight. You now have your little vocab. Learn the vocab, it will help you in your search terms. And know that average everyday people, lots of them, you'd be shocked. The people I know that do lots of different things are definitely not the people you think they are. They're everyday people. It is just a different way of enjoying pleasure with your partner and loved one. I am gonna throw this last question in. You did say in the beginning this you that you're speaking to it as man and woman couple, because that's your experience. Is I assume this it could be between two same-sex people too.

Serenity: 49:23

Of course it can. I don't know if if I don't know if you would necessarily use the same terms like hot wife, but any couple can have the same kink dislike doesn't matter what your gender is. Right. All right, so there you go, guys.

Annette: 49:37

I just had to see if there were terminologies for it, or but yeah, anyone in any dynamic can decide who the wifey is. Exactly. Why not? Thank you so much for giving us not only a thorough ex a thorough explanation, but also sharing your personal story. I think that helps people to really see how it manifested for someone who's having such a great time and has a great relationship. Can you tell my listeners all of the places they can find? Because I'm sure they're gonna want to run and find you after this. So Okay.

Serenity: 50:15

So for the safer work stuff, you can you can check out my Instagram, SerenityCocks.official. For a little bit of spice, my ex account is SerenityCox T-O. You can also just find me on OnlyFans as Serenity Cox, and you can, I mean, plug me into a Google search and a lot of stuff will come up. But also most recently on Vixen Media Group's newest channel, wifey.com, as their new brand ambassador. You can find me there and you can find lots of Hot Wife couples on that channel and hear their story and how they got into it. It's a really, really cool place to do a little bit of learning about how Hot Wife has entered the lives of regular people.

Annette: 50:54

I love it. So go enjoy, folks. Enjoy the content. My little gift poo to you. Thank you so much for joining me and for helping my listeners understand this experience, this lifestyle better. So perhaps they can start fulfilling some fantasies they have. You're welcome, guys. I've been I've been dying to do this one for you. I'd love for you guys to let us know if you have any questions or comments. If you are on my YouTube channel at TalkSex withinet, you can drop a comment below the video. You can also email me at Annette at talksexwithinet.com. If you are an audio listener, you can email me or head on over to my YouTube channel and send me your questions. I will either try and get them answered by Serenity herself or I will try to get you an answer in some way. So I'm looking forward to hearing from you. Share your own story. Love to hear that. Until next time. Listeners, I will see you in the locker room. Cheers.