Talk Sex with Annette

Turned On by the “Enemy”? Inside the Rise of Political Humiliation Kink

• Talk Sex with Annette • Season 2

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Are politics turning people on more than we realize?
Today on Talk Sex with Annette, we’re diving into a surprising and fast-growing fantasy showing up in bedrooms, dating apps, and long-term relationships: the political humiliation kink — when opposing beliefs become part of a consensual power-play dynamic.

In this episode, I sit down with acclaimed psychosexual therapist and sex educator Gigi Engle to unpack why this trend is rising right now, how emotional tension becomes erotic tension, and how couples can explore fantasy safely without crossing real-life boundaries.

We break down:

✨ Why political tension can create unexpected attraction
✨ The psychology behind power-play role dynamics
✨ How to talk about fantasies with a partner (without chaos!)
✨ What to avoid if you and your partner truly disagree politically
✨ Signs this fantasy is playful — and signs it’s NOT

You can find Gigi here: https://www.missgigiengle.com/

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Cheers!

SPEAKER_00:

Do the sex.

SPEAKER_01:

Today's Talk Sex with a Net topic is the rise of political humiliation kink when ideology becomes foreplay. What if the thing that is tearing our country apart is also turning people on? Because the truth is, more and more couples are whispering things like, tell me you're my naughty little conservative slut, or admit you like being corrupted by a liberal in bed. And suddenly the political humiliation kink is no longer on the fringe anymore. It is everywhere. Today we are diving into a kink sitting right at the intersection of cultural shame, rebellion, and erotic role play, the political humiliation kink. Why does this work? Why now? And how do you explore it without turning your bedroom into a political battlefield? To help us unpack all of this, I am joined by someone whose expertise in kinks and sexual liberation makes her the perfect guide. Gigi Ingle is an accredited certified sex and relationship psychotherapist, award-winning author, and internationally recognized sex educator. She is an associate clinician at Therapy Yard, working extensively with LGBTQIA clients and kinky folks, and people in open and or polyamorous relationships. She's also the author of Kinkurious and All the Fucking Mistakes and 2025's nomination for Sexologist of the Year. Now, before we dive in, I want to remind you that I'm over on OnlyFans, and there I'm sharing my sex and intimacy how-tos, demos, and audio guided self-pleasure meditations, and also offering an opportunity for you to ask me your one-off questions there. You can find me there with my handle at TalkSex within it. You can find me on Substack doing a whole lot of the same with the handle at TalkSex within it. You can also scroll down to the show notes below, and you're going to find the links everywhere you want to find me there. And I can't wait to see you. But for now, Gigi, can you tell my listeners more about you?

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. So, you know, I think your intro was pretty extensive there, but I am a psychosexual and relationship therapist. I'm based in London, where I've lived for five years, and I work with kinky clients and the LGBTQ community pretty exclusively. And I just wrote a new book that's a guide for beginners to explore their more taboo desires in a really trauma-informed and fun, hands-on kind of way. So I think it's really accessible for anybody who's interested in exploring kink of the whole spectrum of it really goes into depth. And I am also a writer for all your favorite magazines, such as Cosmo and Women's Health, where you can find me talking about kinks and fetishes in a nuanced and journalist-focused lens.

SPEAKER_01:

So perfect guide for this topic. And you want to stay to the end because, of course, right now, politics, well, they're not just a hot topic. They are infiltrating, of course, all areas of our lives. If you're finding this kink showing up in the bedroom or in your dating life, this is going to help you direct it and play with it in a way that doesn't destroy a potential relationship or your current relationship and hopefully can lead to a fun, kinky turned on time. So by the end, we're going to give you, as usual, our takeaways so that you can start engaging in this kink should you want to, starting tonight. So let's talk about politics and sex, I guess, in a popsic way. Cheers. Cheers. Gigi, when we say political humiliation kink, what exactly are we talking about?

SPEAKER_00:

It's a pretty big term, but really what we're looking at is people who are essentially role-playing different conservative or liberal ideologies for the most part. So one partner might be the conservative party, the other partner might be the liberal party. And they're basically using these opposing views as a part of their dominant and submissive dynamic. So somebody might be, for example, you might be a more dominant female partner and you are wearing your leather corset and spanking your partner, telling them they're a dirty little conservative pig or something along those lines. So really bringing some of the very charged feelings we have about politics into a safe and contained kinky space.

SPEAKER_01:

In this dynamic, are people pretending to be in those roles or are they actually of that political mindset? Or it can be a mix of both?

SPEAKER_00:

I would say probably a mix of both. I would say most likely it's going to be people who are role-playing the roles, but there's definitely people who are in mixed political, I have mixed political ideologies in their relationships, and they may choose to use their differing role these differing ideologies in a safe way where they can kind of play with them in a way that isn't so charged as it might be if you're sitting at the dinner table and having an argument about politics. It's kind of a way to bring some of that into a safer space that's kinkier rather than emotionally charged.

SPEAKER_01:

Maybe it's a little bit of a way to work out their frustrations with each other, keep the relationship alive. Why says kink rising right now in this particular political climate?

SPEAKER_00:

I think it's pretty obvious that we are pretty much more divided than we ever have been in the political landscape we have in the United States. And the more partisan these partisan parties become, and the more intense we become passionate about our ideologies, the and the wider the gap is coming between them, it makes sense that as this shit is happening and as we are moving in this sort of polar opposite effect, that this would start to become more and more relevant and salient. And when it comes to sexuality and exploration, when something like politics is so imbued in everything that we see and experience in our day-to-day life, it makes sense that it there might be some overlap with sexuality.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, so that leads me to ask, what makes political tension such fertile ground for erotic charge?

SPEAKER_00:

I think that what makes it so appealing for people is that there are a lot of emotions that come up with the way we feel about politics. Really can you can feel really passionate about something, really angry about certain things. And often when we feel that way, we can experience arousal from that. And so sometimes it can be part of really part of the arousal process. And when we're talking about humiliation, Kink, when we're talking about politics particularly, there can be, I think, a real, a real erotic spark in being able to humiliate somebody in a safe and consensual way that both people are agreeing to when you feel so passionately that they're wrong.

SPEAKER_01:

Is this a newer phenomenon or has the political humiliation always existed? Because honestly, I haven't really heard about it until recently.

SPEAKER_00:

I think it's been around as long as politics have been around. I there's not unsurprisingly not a ton of data on this. It's not like people are going out and studying this particularly, but I think it's been around for a long time. Like before recently, when it's sort of become more of this Democrat versus Republican dynamic that we're seeing, I definitely had seen where people were really sexually attracted to dictators. So they would have a partner who was role-playing as, say, like Vladimir Putin. And that was part of their kind of kink role play, which, you know, it wouldn't be me, but like, you know, I see the appeal of like this sort of bad guy who's in power and like he's submitting to you as the dominatrix. So I think it's it's the idea that politics has played a role in sex, I think, has been around for a very long time. But I do think that this particular brand of it is becoming very popular nowadays and much more trendy.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, what it brings to mind instantly for me is a Game of Thrones, Daenerys, and oh, what was the name of her husband? Listeners, I hope you guys know, but her husband who she sold to that Jason Momoa plays, was this was considered one of the most erotic dynamics, right? And it was very much that two different ideologies and and then her power as a sub to like transform him. It sounds like a lot of that might come into play. Also, the idea of coming together with someone who has different ideologies that maybe through seduction you can move in a direction.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's a really good point. I definitely think there's an element of that where it's kind of like, I'm gonna be like this the sexy liberal person who you can't resist and I'm gonna get you to change your mind. Like that, I think is definitely a big pull of it as well.

SPEAKER_01:

Part of it, yeah. So do people raised in rigid moral or political systems erod of eroticized rebellion or corruption at maybe let's say a higher level than maybe someone who wasn't? And might they perhaps be more likely to engage in this kind of dynamic?

SPEAKER_00:

I think it's kind of hard to say such a subjective people have such subjective experiences. I could definitely see how that could happen for sure. Because when you grow up with really rigid ideologies, and if you, for instance, as an example, like if you grew up in a really conservative household and you are now a really conservative household with really conservative parents, and you are now living this life of perhaps you're queer and you're living more in your authentic space, like the idea of political fraught emotionality is probably something that's very front and center in your psyche. So that could definitely play a role in how a kink like this could develop.

SPEAKER_01:

So we've primarily talked about this as a kink that's gonna show up in the bedroom. What about before we even get to the bedroom? And we're in the d dating world. I've noticed back when I was single myself that I've uh there were times I felt like I was catniped to the conservative guy, right? And I've talked to many singles dating who are like, oh, you know, I don't women, liberal women who are like, man, I don't know why, but I'm so attracted to like these idiot conservative men, you know, sexually and and so on and so forth. Does kink when it's not something you know that you're experiencing show up in your dating life and who you pursue? And is that problematic, or can it just be converted into something positive?

SPEAKER_00:

I think when people are attracted to people with very different political beliefs, it's not so much that it's because they have the different political beliefs, it's more that they might be attracted to a certain type of person, somebody who comes from a certain background or looks a specific way. And then it sort of has that kind of overlap, especially if we're talking about heterosexual dynamics, because the stats themselves just show that, you know, it's women who are mostly liberal and men who are mostly conservative. And so I think a lot of heterosexual women will find themselves unbeknownst to them being attracted to conservatives just by the statistics alone. And it there's nothing wrong with wanting to pursue a relationship with somebody who has different political ideologies than you do, as long as it's not something you find completely morally reprehensible and it goes against all of your beliefs. And it's also possible to have a relationship with somebody like that that is purely a kink dynamic. For instance, you could have a partner you play with who's just a kink partner or a sexual partner, and there's somebody who you can engage with this kind of kink with within that kind of structured dynamic without having to have the intensity of having an actual relationship with somebody whose political ideology goes against everything you believe in.

SPEAKER_01:

This is an interesting little take on this kink. Is it more prevalent than in the heterosexual dynamic than in the LGBTQ queer dynamic?

SPEAKER_00:

I would definitely say that's very highly likely because there you're not going to find a lot of conservative queer people. Like there are some, but that the percentage of uh queer per queer people being conservative is quite low because conservative politics is not particularly in favor of LGBTQ rights. So I think that just statistically, it would have to be accurate.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. I can't and and remember in any of my dynamics with any of my female partners, that coming up. However, I think without naming it, I've definitely experienced some of this political kink being acted out, but not consciously. Right. So that brings me to how if people aren't aware of this kink, but yet it's playing out in their dating life, it's playing out in their bedroom life, can it be destructive to their dynamic if not properly addressed or played out with what I would consider consider sort of your standard BDSM or kink playbook rules?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, the three main tenants of my book are consent, communication, and aftercare. So if you're not really explicitly naming what it is that you're doing and you're not talking about it, you're not having safe words, you're not acknowledging the play that you're engaging with, it can have the potential to have a bleedover effect into the rest of your relationship. And it doesn't stay inside of the safe container that you build in a kink dynamic. So it is really important that we're having these conversations, even if it's uncomfortable. But sometimes naming the elephant in the room is a really big pillar in building trust and safe relationships with people.

SPEAKER_01:

So you're going to have to address what you're doing. Which I think can be shame, feel shameful to some people. And why would it feel shameful to some people if suddenly they recognize, oh, I'm doing this thing that now has the name political humiliation king?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I mean, I think people are wary when they about addressing it if they are having this play out in their life and they haven't named it, because it might be the way that you had said earlier, where it's like working out some of the aggression they might have towards the partner for having political ideas that they're very against. And so it's kind of an opportunity for them to sort of work some of that out in the bedroom, so to speak. But the problem is that it stops being, I don't know that it's so much kink in that instance as it is actual aggression if you're not actually discussing it and and figuring out the roles because consent is such a huge part of making this play ethical.

SPEAKER_01:

Correct. And if you don't understand what you're doing in the bedroom, then you aren't creating boundaries around when it goes too far for one person, right? So maybe now moving to how this might be showing up in your relationship. Perhaps you're listening to this and you're thinking, we did kind of talk about politics while we were having sex the other night. Because I think this can show up in what people might consider very vanilla sexual encounters. And for people who might consider themselves very vanilla, you know. I know that if I think back on my experience, I've had moments where I was sleeping with someone or dating with someone, and they've made some little comment, like, oh, you like being dominated by conservative or whatever. And I thought, that's a weird thing to say, but oh no, I didn't know, or whatever it was. So one of the ways that this is going to show up, I imagine, first in a relationship where it hasn't been acknowledged and it's not been named nor boundaries made is through language. So I'm curious about how political language norm, which is normally weaponized, think about snowflake, you know, that's snowflakes have really become a weapon verbally in in the political landscape. But how how does that language become erotic in kink contexts?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's in humiliation kinks, you're going to see a lot of and kink in general, there's going to be a lot of language that outside of the kink container, not going to be okay. People want to be called dirty little sluts and bitches, and you know, they use the F word, gay guys will use the F word with each other, like that, you know, that kind of thing. And like in the side of that, inside of that container, and if you guys have agreed on that language, totally fine. So you use the same kind of political language that's used to demean somebody in a social context, like calling me, oh, you're being such a snowflake, but in the bedroom, it's used to be like, it now has this erotic charge. And now has this erotic power, where you're using it purposely in a sexual and arousing context to degrade the other person in a way that's consensual. So you're not attacking their character. It's part of a role-play scene. And so you can get that kind of erotic charge out of it and have that be really sexy, but it's contained and it's safe, and you know that it's not then basically just being horrible.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. Like even something as simple as saying in the middle of intimacy, oh, you like being dominated by a conservative man. Like in the middle of intimacy, if we haven't talked about it, that's then the person who is is not conservative is going to be like, I actually don't like that. Or what does it mean that I'm even with you right now? And it pulls them out of the erotic landscape and into the battlefield, right? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

It's like that you're playing, you're playing at kink without using the cur without using the language and the skills of kink. It's like that, because it's not kink if you're just saying that without somebody's consent and they don't like it. Like that's not hot. Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01:

So would you say that this kink typically starts with a verbal, verbal exchange. It's more verbal play.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I would say that's probably the safest place to start and the very much the most accessible way to start. Because you kind of need a lot of what's going on with politics when we discuss politics in general, right? Is that we are discussing it. It is a verbal-based discussion you're having about politics in general. So it makes sense that when you're creating the kink dynamic, it would start with that kind of heated, debate-like language. And then you can move into using other things like paddles and want to tie somebody up. You could add all that stuff in, but starting with like the language you're going to use and getting very clear on the boundaries of what's okay and what's not okay. Like for instance, you might be okay with Snowflake, but you might not be okay with something else. And so you kind of have to get clear about what's going to be okay and what's not, with kind of the understanding that if you're just starting to starting out, you might not know something is going to really upset you until it's said. And then that's why we have safe words, which are non-sexual words used to stop the play. You'd have that said ahead of time. And that way, if the person says something that you didn't realize was going to hit you in the wrong way, you can stop and be like, oh, wait, I actually don't like that. Let's not use that one. And it creates a dynamic where everybody feels because the whole point of kink is like you're not actually fighting, you're not actually humiliating somebody. It's part of the erotic play. And so when you have it in that safe container, it's just a lot safer to explore that way.

SPEAKER_01:

But for people who are listening to this who aren't kinky or really hint aware, like for the most part, you're like, I'm mostly vanilla. Hearing the word humiliation in context of eroticism and sexual interaction might sound like Like, why would you why would you want someone to humiliate you? Might sound awful. I think a lot of people sort of flinch at that. Can you talk a little bit about why humiliation can be erotic in the bedroom setting without being harmful?

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. So erot erotic humiliation, like when everybody is consulting consenting and enjoying themselves for it. It's like the reason people have such a get such a kick out of humiliation in the bedroom. And even if you're the most humiliation, I understand, loaded word. But I think people also have to think about just their regular sexual dynamics. There's very often somebody who is doing the leading and somebody who is doing most of the following. So you kind of already have one partner who's being a little more dominant, one partner who's being a little more submissive. And you know, maybe your partner calls you like a little slut or something. And in that context of vanilla sex, you're like, oh, that's not humiliation. That they're just calling me a slut because I have a dirty girl in bed. But like actually, that is kind of a a little bit of a humiliation kink because the thing is, it's like being, it's about being dominated, it's about consensual power exchange. And for a lot of people, there's such a close connection with the feelings of humiliation and eroticism. They just are really closely connected in our brain and in our nervous system response. So that's why some people get like a really strong erotic charge out of it. But if the word humiliation is going to stop you from wanting to engage with any kind of like play that is in this sort of dot DS dynamic where you're saying quote unquote meaner things to each other, you don't have to call it humiliation. It can just be like political, political politics kink or like role play politics kink or whatever you want to call it. The humiliation aspect isn't necessary.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, as as you're talking, I was thinking about how this dynamic, this particular kink has played out across time. Lots of people like to in role play, right? Like to roleplay the king or the conqueror, taking the princess or the peasant. That is sort of an origin story of the political kink, right? But it's in a dynamic that seems so far from us until now. So it has been around for a long time. And if you're a kinkster who has already been doing role play, you've probably been engaging in some type of this dynamic, depending on what you're into.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, it's it's a lot of the appeal is kind of being so irresistible to the other person that despite you being so different, they can't resist you because you're so seductive or you're so alluring. And that's part of it as well. Like with this kind of you don't necessarily need the humiliation aspect of it so much as much as it is like our ideologies are so different that you but you you can't resist me because I'm such a seductress, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01:

It's the forbidden fruit as well. A little bit of the forbidden fruit that comes into it. So what are some signs that a couple should not engage in this king in the bedroom?

SPEAKER_00:

I would say if you are brand new to kink, this might be a difficult one to take on right away, but and I would probably start with something more like sensation play and you know, stuff that's a little more easy and basic and a little less intense with the emotions. I would also be really careful if you and your partner really have true IRL opposing political ideologies. Like it it might be, it might not go the sexy way you think it is if you truly believe that your partner has these like really upsetting and problematic beliefs, and vice versa. And trying to bring that into the bedroom might it might be great, or it might not be. So I would say it's gonna take a lot of negotiation beforehand. And also if your relationship is in a really rocky place, which a lot of relationships these days where we have opposing political ideologies are, due to how polarized everything has become. Starting kink in a really rocky place can be sort of dangerous territory. What you kind of want to do first is go to therapy and try to get your relationship back on track and in solid footing before you start introducing kind of all this outside play into it because kink is not going to fix the underlying issues that are plaguing your relationship.

SPEAKER_01:

Right. So if you recognize that this is a turn-on for you, I can see two different scenarios. You recognize that it's a turn-on with for you with your current partner, either because they have a different ideology just enough that it's kind of come up in your conversations and you've noticed that it's part of what attracts you, or you engaged in some debate with them and gotten turned on. Or you're currently with a partner of the same political ideology, and you find yourself fantasizing about other people or partners, a potential affair with or encounter with someone of a different ideology. So in this case, let's say with a partner who's of the same ideology of you of yours. So two conservative people, we'll say two conservative people. And one of you is like, oh, I noticed that I get turned on by this idea, or I'm starting to fantasize about being with someone who's liberal. How do you bring that to your partner and say, can we play with this without it like getting real weird real quick?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh well, first you want to have the timing tone and turf is what I call it with conversations, where you are making sure the timing of the conversation is not during sex and not in a really emotionally charged environment like the bedroom. So you want to sit down and have a conversation in like a safe space, like your living room. Maybe you guys are having dinner together, whatever it is, and you need to get consent for that conversation. So you can say something like, you know, our sex life means a lot to me. It's really important to me. I would really like to experiment with some more things. I've specifically been thinking, and I know this might sound a little odd, so bear with me. I've had this strange like fantasy about being with somebody who's liberal and I don't know what it is about it, but it just like turns me on, probably because it's so taboo and like it's not somebody I would ever actually want to be with, but like something about that gets me going. Is that a role-play scenario you'd be open to trying? And it's really important that when partners are coming to this conversation, they're coming to it very empathetically towards each other rather than seeing anything as being like an attack on them. So they immediately become defensive, because that can often happen when we're talking about sex. We were never really taught how to talk about sex. We're taught how to be, you know, good friends, good siblings, all that, but we're never taught how to be good partners and lovers. So it's kind of an uncomfortable conversation for people to have to begin with. So you have to be willing to give your partner a really generous interpretation that they're coming to you, not to say that your sex life is not good, but because they have this curiosity and they genuinely want to like play and expand with you. And I think that that's kind of where you start with it. And I think it can be really helpful to start looking at some, once you've had some of these conversations, if they're open to it, looking at some of the erotic material that's online. Like be it like stories that center on this, like erotic stories. There's definitely some great OnlyFans content and porn content that sort of centers on this, just so you can kind of get sort of get an idea of what's going on with all of that. I think shared media with partners can be such a bonding experience. I know it's a controversial topic for some couples, but it can be great for people who are open to that. And yeah, just sort of starting to get curious about it. Like that's where, that's where I would begin.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think shared media, if both partners feel comfortable with it, is such a great way to educate and share ideas and fantasies. Because then it also takes having to explain it in depth with your own words. It takes not off the table, but it takes the pressure off of that.

unknown:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00:

Like, hey, watch this. How do you feel? I just think it's really important that couples are coming to this with an open mind and are willing to be a little bit more curious with each other.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. And I think because I'm more liberal and with liberalism, oftentimes uh sex positive tends to go more hand in hand. I'm also queer. Again, I think uh sex positivity and kink is a little bit more uh accepted in the LGBTQ community and in more liberal communities, right? It's something that's talked about a lot. This conversation might be easier, it might make more sense. But if you are someone who leans conservative or even religiously conservative, but you have liberal ideals, having this conversation could be very hard. It would oh, I would think it would be harder. And perhaps one of the easier ways to introduce it is to talk about, hey, like even like some light role play, and then you can slip in those role dynamics, right? Like, hey, how about doing a little role play? And you can be like, oh yeah, the professor student is fun, but what about conservative liberal play?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I mean, I think it's definitely harder if you're conservative, especially with all this so many people, so many conservatives also are Christians and very the big population evangelical Christians. So not exactly the most sex positive folk, but I do think that it's still, I mean, data shows that conservative states are just as just as kinky in their fantasies and their erotic material as everywhere else. They're just not really talking about it. So I can understand how that's sort of a difficult topic when you don't have the language and when it is so taboo in the culture that you've grown up in. But like you said, it is easy to not easy, but it's a kind of a good gateway to kind of use the word, you know, role play rather than saying, I I don't know if I if I would go right for want to do political humiliation, King. That might just be a bit much. You know, it's it language is important and you want to be as gentle as possible.

SPEAKER_01:

Do you think there's a a spike in one side or the other an interest in political humiliation?

SPEAKER_00:

I definitely do not have a solid answer on that one because we just don't have the numbers for it. I think that people who where politics has been more rigid in their lives and their upbringing are going to be more likely to have this, whether that's liberal or conservative. I think in conservative states in general and in conservative communities in general, you'll see a lot more intense kinks being searched for in like porn hub and those sorts of erotic spaces, because it's not that they are more kinky. It's just that they are, they have these like niche interests that they're not able to talk about or express. So that's why they're looking for it more in a in an erotic material space. But I think the more charged and the more passionate you feel about politics, the more it might turn you on. I could see how it with conservative ideology, because there's so much more sex positivity with liberals and they kind of you kind of have this ex you kind of have so many so many more options for fetishes and kinks that are available to you because of the community. If you're in conservative politics and so much of your life is built around church and football and family, it might be that politics is really where you're getting your erotic charge because it's one of the only kinds of kinks you have access to.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm speaking only from personal experience. I haven't heard this come from my more liberal acquaintances as much as I've definitely heard, especially more conservative men talk about being turned on by more liberal women. And in that, I think you're right, that there is the aspect of more sex positivity, more openness, women being more open to exploratory and adventurous intimacy, right? Being open to trying new things. We don't necessarily see kinks as this bad thing. We don't necessarily freak out if you're like, hey, how do you feel about a trees or exploring with other people? For more liberal people, it's maybe I'm open to that or not into that, but maybe not the shame piece doesn't come into it as much.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I mean, I think for a lot of liberal, a lot of conservative men, they're they are attracted to sort of going outside of the king space for a second here, but they are attracted to liberal women sexually because they are attracted to the the vibe of a liberal woman who is sort of sexually adventurous, is much more open about her sexuality, more more comfortable in that space. And so that I could understand definitely understand the sexual appeal of that. Like, oh, I I want to take away your bodily autonomy, but you're really hot. Thank you, sir. But no, thank you. That's so tempting.

SPEAKER_01:

So bizarre to me, but you want to you wanna stop me from being able to give you this thing I can give you because I have the right to be who I am. Anyways, what a conundrum for you. Exhausting. It's exhausting. All right, so now we've offered some ways for, especially in a conservative on-conservative relationship, to introduce this topic to your partner and embark on it should they be open to it. Now it's much easier if you are in a dynamic where it's either conservative and liberal liberal marriage or partnership or two liberals, right? Because or more liberal people. And look, it's a spectrum, let's be honest. Political views are a spectrum, but I'm giving more extremes because that gives you plenty of tools for conversations. Are there any complications you can see coming in to play between, let's say, two more liberal individuals in a relationship, or a liberal and a conservative?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, like if they're if it's mixed political ideology? If you actually do have mixed political ideology, you can play with this kink, but it needs to be done with a lot of care because at that point, the things you're saying to the other person are quite likely things you mean. And that can have a lot be fraught with a lot more emotionality. Like, for instance, in the classic humiliation dom sub instance, we're taking politics out of it for a second. You're humiliating your sub and spanking him and telling him he's the bad boy and pegging him and all these sorts of things. But you don't actually believe he's a filthy little pig, or like think like you don't actually believe these things about him as a person. This is part of your like kink dynamic, and it's and you believe it in the moment in the in your little container, but like it doesn't, it's not that deep. Whereas if you are actually in a mixed pol political household, bringing the kink in has the potential to it could go a little sour if somebody starts saying things that they they really mean in a meaner way. I would just I would be concerned about how that might play out. It's not it's not impossible, but it it's it would be a tough one.

SPEAKER_01:

So to avoid that dynamic could you in advance talk about here's a political topic or an angle that we need to stay away from in the bedroom because either it's gonna spark something aggressively angry in me, or because I think that when we talk about this topic, you really dislike me.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, of course. That that's pretty much that's how you do it, right? It's about if you are in a solid relationship with somebody who has opposing political ideologies to you, and you're able to have these conversations and talk about what is and what is not on the table and be really clear about the boundaries, the subjects you can talk about. Like, for instance, it's like maybe we're not gonna bring up abortion during that kink scene. Like, that's not gonna be something we're gonna say. We're not talking about taking away my rights to have a to my bodily autonomy, or we're not gonna talk about LGBTQ rights. Don't like, don't say it. And we're not gonna do that because that's where that's gonna get me riled up. And so everybody has their own boundaries around things that they feel particularly passionate about or particularly angry about. And we need to be really mindful of that and need to be really clear that just because you are engaging in this kink dynamic with a partner does not give you free reign to say anything you want. It has to be really well negotiated beforehand. And that's how we keep everybody safe.

SPEAKER_01:

Great. So, guys, we've given you intro conversations to have with this kink. We've explained that you need to create boundaries ahead of time, have the conversation, safe words. What do you say? You know, when you want it to stop, when you're like, this is going off the rails and I'm now angry and not turned on. But can we give them some tools? Like, okay, now you know you've got this kink, you want to engage in it, you know how you're gonna, you know, bring up the conversation and negotiate. What are some ways in which you can engage with it? Like what things can you talk about? And then where can you go from there?

SPEAKER_00:

I think that you guys should talk about exactly first of all, both of you need to talk about what it is exactly about this that turns you on. Like, what is the exact dynamic? Like, is your partner pretending to be Megan Kelly? And like is a very like speci I know, ew, but is it like oops, sorry guys, not to kink shame, but for real. Your partner's being Megan Kelly and is like, you know, dom like you're you're you're now dominating her because she's Megan Kelly and you're like, I got you. And that's the dynamic you're setting up. Is that like specifically what you want? You kind of need to figure out exactly what it is. Are you playing specific roles? Are you just a sort of are you guys just liberal and cons and conservative? Like, is that the vibe or it's are you someone specific? Are there outfits involved? Is there particular kinds of play that you want to have? Do you want to do spanking? Is there gonna be bondage? Is there other stuff that you want to have be a part of that? I would start with just introducing the role play dynamics before you actually go into more like bondage and spanking and stuff because you kind of want to see how this plays out. And you want to get really clear about what that's gonna look like for both of you. And I think you also have to be really understanding with each other that like neither of you really knows what you're doing yet. And it might be weird and it might be uncomfortable and awkward the first few times you even do it because you're just figuring it out. So you guys have to give each other space and empathy for laughter and feeling uncomfortable and awkward because it's gonna take some practice. So give yourself grace.

SPEAKER_01:

That's great. So you can either role play as yourselves or you can pick characters. I mean, there's a lot of great stuff you could do to JD Vance. He's written his own role in this dynamic.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you could be JD Vance and they could be the coach. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01:

And they say romance instead. You know somebody has engaged in this, right? Like you know, this is a scene that's already been played out across the US. There's no doubt. No doubt in my mind. Here's the last question. Because guys, you look, we've given it to you. You know now what you're gonna do or not do with this. But I am curious if you have any stats or thoughts on this. How many affairs do you think take place because someone gets so turned on by engaging with someone else of The opposite ideology that that's that they seek out a a side piece or an experience that is with a charged hot person of the opposite political affiliation.

SPEAKER_00:

I think if this is a kink that you have, or it's something you might not know you have, but you you do, that that would be a huge draw. Cause it's some the whole thing, one of the things that really gets people going sexually is is the, like you said, the forbidden fruit and the taboo and doing something that you know would be very would be looked down with this displeasure from your social group. And so it feels really dirty, it feels really wrong. And so that really already gives it such an electric charge. And so I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of affairs began this way.

SPEAKER_01:

No, it wouldn't shock me either. I recently did an interview just about Grinder and how, you know, the who knows apparently it's not a complete myth, but you always hear about when the Republican Convention comes together, grind going down. Apparently, it actually has happened once or twice. But it would make sense to me that this would be something that can be such a fantasy, such a draw that it might lead to affairs. So for people wanting to avoid a desire pulling a partner away, learn how to act like a liberal woman.

SPEAKER_00:

But there we go. That was the message all along. You're welcome. All along.

SPEAKER_01:

Absolutely. No. It's really important that we take care of our sex life in the bedroom. And there are all kinds of fantasies that we want to play out. But it's really important to admit to yourself and to know what kind of kink, what kind of fantasy you're playing into, and make sure your partner's on board. And I think Gigi, you did a really good job of breaking this down. This is not something that I've seen in a lot of mainstream media. It's something that I think people are afraid to talk about at this time, especially in American history. But I also think it's super important, right? Keep us all emotionally healthy, especially in our relationships. So thank you so much. Can you tell my listeners where they can find out more about you and connect with you outside of this episode?

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. You can find me on my website, missgigiangle.com. I'm also Gigi Angle on Instagram. I have a newsletter on Substack called the G Spot. And my new book, Kink Curious, is available for pre-order in the US and the UK at all your local retailers.

SPEAKER_01:

Thank you so much. Hey guys, go out there and get kinky. You know, flog your conservative partner, but only with consent. All right. You've got a go bag of tricks for this kink. You can be more self aware now. Thank you so much, Gigi, for joining me and helping explain this to me and my listeners. And to my listeners, until next time, Lou. I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.