7 Ways To Masturbate Together That Upgrade Your Sex Life Instantly!

It's Masturbation May — and I'm giving you the practice that will upgrade your sex life more than any new position, any new toy, any new technique.

Mutual masturbation. Touching yourselves at the same time, in the same bed, watching each other.

It removes the pressure to deliver an orgasm. It builds the connection most couples are missing. It shows you exactly what works on each other's bodies. And it lets you both discover new pleasure together.

What you'll learn: 

✔ Why this practice fixes the orgasm pressure problem most couples have ✔ The exact words to suggest it without making it weird 
✔ The starting position that makes it feel intimate instead of exposing 
✔ The face-to-face position that builds connection most couples are missing ✔ The hand-on-hand technique that teaches your partner's exact pressure and rhythm 
✔ How to use this practice to discover new types of orgasms together

My Guide to Best Couple's Sex Toys For Mutual Masturbation: https://talksexwithannette.com/the-best-couples-sex-toys-for-mutual-masturbation/

Pair this with my 365 Days of Orgasms series for full tutorials on G-spot, A-spot, blended orgasms, and every other technique I reference: 

Join in my 365 Days of Orgasms Journey Here: https://talksexwithannette.com/365-days-of-orgasms/

Watch 365 Days Playlist on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2D5TFyt2Q8&list=PL9sLRET3FJyVns_2_wXvOoGrBeHyU1DDp

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Transcript

Welcome And New Show Name

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Do the sex. I'm Annette Benedetti, host of the podcast formerly known as Locker Room Talk and Shots. The show has a new name, Talk Sex with Annette. But at its core, this is still your locker room. It's where we strip away shame, get curious, and speak the unspoken about sex, kink dating, pleasure, and desire. Around here, nothing's off limits. These are the kinds of conversations we save for our boldest group chat, our most trusted friends, and of course, the women's locker room. Think raw, honest, and sometimes unapologetically raunchy. Welcome to my podcast where desire meets disruption and pleasure becomes power. Let's talk about sex. Cheers. Today's Talk Sex with the Net topic is seven hot ways to masturbate together that will instantly upgrade your sex life. The hottest thing you can do in bed this month isn't a new position. It's not a new toy. It's something most couples have never even tried. It's masturbation May, and I'm about to give you the practice that will upgrade your sex life more than any technique you've ever learned. It's mutual masturbation. Both of you are touching yourself, same bed, same moment, watching each other. And before you tell me that you've heard of this, well, most couples have, but most couples have also not actually done it because nobody tells you why you'd want to. Nobody tells you what it actually does for your sex life. So let me. You're gonna learn three things in this episode. One, how mutual self-pleasure removes the pressure that's been killing your sex life without you even knowing it. Number two is the exact positions, techniques, and language that make this hot instead of awkward. And number three is how to use this practice to discover new types of pleasure together. Pleasure neither of you has had before. This ties directly into my 365 days of orgasms series, which you can find on my website at talksexwithhenet.com, where I'm teaching women how to find new spots, new orgasms, new pleasure their bodies are capable of. Mutual self-pleasure is where you bring that discovery into your relationship. This is the hottest sex education you will ever get. But before we dive in, I want to remind you to head over to my only fans where I'm sharing sex and intimacy, how-tos, demos, and audio guided self-pleasure meditations. You can find all of that there and more under my handle at Talk Sex within it. You can also find me over on Substack doing a whole lot of the same thing there. Same handle. And of course, you can scroll down to the notes section below, and you're gonna find all the links you need to find me anywhere you wanna find me. Let's dive in. Let's start with why the hottest thing you can do this month isn't a new position and why mutual masturbation works. Somebody is always working during sex, and that's exactly why your sex life has gone flat. Here's the part nobody talks about. In partnered sex, somebody is always trying to deliver an orgasm. Somebody is paying more attention to the other person's body than their own. Somebody is performing. That pressure, that's what makes sex feel like a job. That's why women fake it and men go soft. That's why just relax never works. Mutual self-pleasure removes that pressure entirely. And here's what you're gonna learn from this practice: nobody is responsible for anybody else's orgasm. You're each in charge of your own body, your own rhythm, and your own pleasure. And once that pressure is gone, something else shows up. You get curious, you can play, you notice things you never notice when you're trying to perform. You see your partner's hand move when nobody is watching your face. You hear the sounds they make when they're not trying to be sexy. You learn the spots they go to when they're just chasing what feels good. That information you cannot get any other way. And once you have it, your partner's sex changes forever. Let's talk about how to bring it up. Asking your partner to masturbate in front of you sounds like a porn request. So here's how to suggest it so it sounds like a love letter instead. This is the part most people get stuck on. You want to try this, but you don't know how to bring it up without making it weird. So here's exactly what to say. You're going to learn three different ways to suggest this. Pick the one that fits your relationship best. The first is the masturbation may method. Say something like this. Hey, did you know it's masturbation may? I'd like to try something. How about both of us touch ourselves at the same time? There's no pressure to do anything to each other. Just watch. I'd really like to watch you. The second version is the honest version. You're gonna say something like this. Hey, I've been thinking about how hot it would be to actually see how you make yourself come. And I want you to see me come too. And then there's a playful version. It goes something like this. Hey, you want to upgrade our sex life? I've got an idea. Look, you're not asking them to perform, you're inviting them into something you do together. And if they're nervous, which they may be, you might be too. Here's the line that gets them every time. I want to know what actually works on your body. Not what I think works, but what you do when it's just you. That's not a request, that's a love letter. Now we're gonna talk about getting started and what positions work best. And I want to start with the one behind the other position. Forget lying side by side and staring at the ceiling. That's awkward as hell. The position that actually makes this hot is one that most couples never think of. So here's how you start. One of you is going to sit up or lean back against a headboard or a wall. The other is going to sit between your legs or lean back against your chest, whether that's standing or sitting. The person in the front is touching themselves, and the person behind them wraps their arms around them, kisses their neck, watches over their shoulder. And here's what you're going to learn from this position. You're going to feel held while you pleasure yourself. The person in front isn't being watched from across the room. They're being supported, held, and they feel safe. And the person behind gets the best seat in the house. You're seeing exactly what they're doing: their hand, their pressure, their rhythm from their own point of view. You're learning their body the way they experience it. You can whisper to them, you can kiss their neck, you can put your hand on their chest, their thigh, their stomach. You're involved without taking over. Then you switch. Now they're holding you, and now you're showing them. Now, if there is a size discrepancy, like one of you is much larger than the other or taller than the other, when the smaller person is in the back, you can adjust your position, maybe move off to the side so your head is lying against their shoulder or their chest while they're touching themselves. It works, it's hot, take it from a shorty like me. This is how mutual self-pleasure feels, intimate instead of exposing. This is where it all starts. The next position is facing each other. When you're ready to take this further, this is the position that turns mutual self-pleasure into the most intimate thing you've ever done together. Once you've tried the holding position, this is where you go next. You're gonna sit facing each other on a bed, your legs crossed, your legs can be intertwined, however, feels good. You're close, but you're still only going to be touching yourselves, not each other. Then look at each other. Both of you start touching yourselves while you watch one another. Here's what you're gonna learn from this: you're gonna see what pleasure actually looks like on your partner. Not the version they show you during sex, when they're aware of being watched, the real version, the one that shows up when they're alone. You're gonna learn their pre-orgasm tells, the way their breath catches, the way their eyes soften or close, the small sounds they make when they're getting close. And here's the part that surprises people. This is where appreciation actually happens. You tell them what you see. Your body is incredible. You look so beautiful right now. I love watching this. I had no idea you did that. You're seeing them at their most authentic, and they're seeing you. That kind of connection, eye contact, mutual vulnerability, both of you watching each other be real. That doesn't happen in regular sex. There's just too much going on. This is where you stop having sex at each other and start having sex with each other. This is a position that builds the connection most couples are missing. Next, we're gonna level up and we're gonna add your hands to your partners. Your partner can tell you lighter or faster all day long, but until you feel what their hand is actually doing when they're alone, you're guessing every single time. This is the technique that turns self-pleasure together into education. Place your hand gently on top of theirs while they're touching themselves. Not to take over and not to do it for them, just to feel. Here's what you're gonna learn from this. You're going to feel their exact pressure, the speed they use, the pattern, the motion that makes their body respond. This is information you cannot get from words. With your hand on theirs, you're not guessing anymore. You're learning the technique that actually works on their body. And this is where my 365 days of orgasms practice comes in. I teach women how to find their G spot and their A spot and have blended orgasms and rolling orgasms. Pleasure, most women have never been shown. If your partner has been exploring those tutorials on their own, mutual self-pleasure is where they get to show you what they've been discovering. You can also take that practice, this may, and do them together. You put your hand on theirs while they touch themselves, their external clitoris, their G spot. You feel the angle, you feel the motions they use that work for them. Now you know exactly what to do next time. And then they put their hands on yours. Same lesson, your body. This is mutual education at its best. Next, we're gonna add talking while you touch. Most couples struggle with how to talk during sex. Mutual masturbation is the easiest place to fix that because you're already doing the thing. You don't have to ask hypothetically, you can just say what's happening. And here's what you're gonna learn from this you're going to build a vocabulary together, the one that becomes the soundtrack of your partnered sex from now on. So try this. Narrate what's happening in your body. This is a spot that gets me every time. Oh, this pressure is perfect. Or I'm getting close, keep watching. You're not performing dirty talk, you're describing what's real. And then compliment what you're seeing. I love watching you do that. Your body is incredible, or I had no idea you did that. It's so hot. This is also where appreciation lives. Tell them what's beautiful about watching them, what's surprising and what's really hot to you. You're building a language together. When you're gonna use the next time you're having partnered sex and every time after that. Next, bring your toys. If you use a toy when you're alone, you've been hiding the thing that actually makes you come. It's time to stop. If you use toys during solo play, bring them now. Your favorite vibrator, your favorite stroker, the toy that actually makes you come every single time you're alone. Here's what you're gonna learn from this: your partner is going to see exactly what works on your body, the setting, the pressure, and the angle. They're not guessing anymore. They're watching the tool that delivers. And it removes performance pressure. You're not relying on your hand and hoping your arm doesn't get tired. You're using what actually works. This is also a perfect place for partner toys, toys that you can use on each other or together. They can have a wand while they touch themselves, a cock ring for you, or whatever turns this into play. There's also lots of Bluetooth toys and toys that interact and work with one another. I have a full guide to my favorite toys for mutual self-pleasure linked in the description below. Some are for solo use and some are designed for partner play. All of them upgrade this practice. Now that we've got some basics down, it's time to talk about how you can discover new pleasure together through this practice. Mutual self-pleasure isn't just about teaching each other what you already know. It's about finding pleasure neither of you've had before together. This is where this practice becomes something that most couples never get to experience. Try this practice. Watch a video from my 365 days of orgasms series, maybe the one on ASPOT stimulation, or blended orgasms, or external clitoral mapping. Then both of you try it. She can try it on herself first. Then you try it. Here's what you're going to learn from this. You're going to discover new pleasure together. You're not bringing an existing skill into the bedroom. You're building a new skill side by side. You're both first timers, you're both learners, and you're both exploring without anyone being the expert. And when you find something new that works, a new angle, a new pressure, a new combination, you've just expanded what your sex life can be. That's the upgrade. That's what this practice actually delivers. A sex life that keeps growing because you keep growing it together. Finally, make this a regular thing. Couples with great sex lives have one thing, the rest don't. A low-stakes practice space. This is how you build it. Don't treat this as a one-time experiment. This isn't a Saturday night party trick. Make this a regular part of your sex life. Once a week, twice a month. Whatever rhythm works. Here's what you're going to learn from this. The more you do this, the better partnered sex becomes. Because every time you do it, you learn more. You build more vocabulary. You discover more pleasure. You normalize being vulnerable in front of one another. You are giving your sex life a permanent practice space, somewhere you can experiment, explore, talk, and play without the pressure of having to deliver an orgasm to someone else. That space is what couples with great sex lives have. And mutual self-pleasure is the easiest way to build it. Look, I know that a lot of couples are never going to try this, but the ones who do never go back. Mutual self-pleasure isn't a kink and it's not advanced. It's not even just for one type of couple. It's the practice that does for your sex life what nothing else can. It removes the pressure, reveals what actually works, builds connection, and lets both of you discover more pleasure than either of you has had on your own. It's foreplay if you want it to be. It's the whole event if you want it to be. It's how you start a Saturday morning or how you end a Tuesday night. It's hot, it's playful, it's intimate, it's educational, and it's the upgrade most couples never even consider. So start tonight. Sit up, pull them up between your legs, touch yourselves, watch each other, talk, and appreciate. And if you want to take this further, if you want to expand what your body and theirs can actually do, go to my 365 Days of Orgasms series. Every week I post a new technique, a new spot, a new type of pleasure. Most women have never been taught. Bring those tutorials into your bedroom and try them together. Discover them together. That's what mutual self-pleasure actually is. The sex education you never got, the connection you've been missing, and the upgrade you didn't know you needed. Give this a try. Let me know how it goes in the comment section below. If you're on my YouTube channel at talkswithinet, you can just drop your thoughts in the comments section. You can always email me at Annette at talksexwithanet.com. And if you are looking for a coach, a wingwoman, if you will, in your own intimacy journey, you can find out more about my coaching offerings on my website, talkswithinet.com. That's also where you're gonna find my 365 days of orgasms. Pleasure is the resolution journey now. Until next time. Happy masturbation May. I'll see you in the locker room. Cheers.