Learn to be FEARLESS with Justin Maina

Justin’s Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/justinmainaofficial/

The 3 P’s

Justin is the host of the show ‘Fear Hunter’.  He launched after this podcast recording just as he said he would.

Purpose: Justin wants to help others conquer their fear.

Positivity: Be willing to pivot

Productivity: 

2022 Biggest changes in diet and health: the more I work out, the more aware I am of the impact of my diet.

Using a novelty approach towards training.

Start looking for the root of what is causing the pain.

My thoughts and long history with voice journaling

My approach to dealing with my partner:  Do you want me to ‘listen, coach or solve’?

How I deal with “Flashes of Shame”.  What's in and out of your ‘locus of control’

The locus of control is a psychological concept that refers to the extent to which individuals believe that they have control over the events that affect their lives. An internal locus of control refers to the belief that one's own actions and personal characteristics are responsible for the outcomes they experience, while an external locus of control refers to the belief that external factors such as luck or fate are primarily responsible for the outcomes they experience. Research has shown that individuals with an internal locus of control tend to be more successful and satisfied with their lives than those with an external locus of control.

“time plan to be wasted is not wasted time” 

How I do checklists for the week on Sunday

Yo-yo dieting for your brain - In pursuit of a ‘completed’ list of all tasks

‘Feeding’ your relationship with your friends

Instagram

https://sproutspout.com/

Transcript

   📍 Hi, and welcome to chasing energy episode number 43. With my guest. Justin Maina. 

before we get started, would love it. If you could like, actually you can't like, cause this is probably not on you, dude. I have clips on YouTube. Did you know that. Anyways, I'm subscribed to the podcast. That would be extremely helpful. And if you could leave a review, that would be a blessing in my life. 

It lets me know that this work is not in vain when I stay up at night or get up super early in the morning to make sure this podcast goes out. I guess today is Justin Maina. Justin was on American ninja warrior a few years back. I actually went and watched him compete. He was a, he's a very athletic individual. In fact, 

The best way to see his regular feats to these days is to look up his Instagram page, which I have put in the show notes. It's just in Maina official. You will see he has been a fitness model. And a he's hosted so many things. Uh, Little, anything from little infomercials to, he actually had a show. He hosted where he would surprise people and take them out on a boat for a day. That was a liberal short run show. But today we talk about purpose positivity. 

And productivity. We got, he kind of came up with that on the fly credit to him that the conversations go everywhere because it's very informal, much more informal than most of my conversations. So if you've never heard this podcast, I'm a little more professional and a little more agenda driven. This one was open discussion. It was however. 

Our second take. We went to the entire thing and the thing just crashed on me and I had to rerecord it. So, so grateful to Justin for his patients on this thing. So. A couple of things we covered real quick, and then I'll let you get to it. Obviously the three P's and what they are. Look at what the root of this is in this case, a physical issue, but looking for the root of what is causing your pain, he talks about how he does that as a misuse. 

, my thoughts on voice journaling, I'm a very staunch advocate of voice journaling, maybe because I'm too lazy to, , write regularly in a. , you know, Text-driven journal. I do journal by the way, I just don't do it regularly enough. , how I deal with, , a partner in terms of this is the approach. I actually learned this from a book from a consultant and it's do you want me to listen coach or solve? 

How I deal with my own personal flashes of shame when I feel like I'm wasting too much time. Uh, one key takeaway, there would be time planned to be wasted is not wasted time. Something I struggle with on a daily basis. And if you are an overachiever. And I suspect you are. This is part of your struggle as well. 

How do we learn to say. I've accomplished enough today that I should be able to let my mind drift without going back in the circle and worrying about tomorrow or what I didn't get done today. A yo-yo dieting for your brain is an example of what I mean by. , pursuit of a completed list of all the tasks in your life, which is what we're we tend to get caught up in. And then, , feeding your relationships, your close relationships. 

Justin is a great guy. He's so generous. And I can tell you he's very authentic, even though he comes across as very much, , infomercial, like in very excited and things like that. I can tell you when he's out in public. With nobody watching, he will go up to people and just ask them all these questions about what makes you happy. And, you know, if you could do any be anything, what would it be? He loves. 

, to, , get people to do that. He also loves to do stunts. , in public areas, not nearly as much a fan of the ladder as the former. , but he impresses me nonetheless, physically and psychologically. Justin Maina. Thank you for being on this podcast.  



Chasing Energy Podcast with Daniel Lucas. Um, this is round two. Round two. All right, man. All right. All right. It is such an honor to be here on chasing.

with my cousin Daniel Lucas. Fill in the energy. Yeah. And here's, here's why we have so much energy, because this is round two. Round two. Yeah. We, uh, sometimes things don't transcribe or save the way you, you think it is and, uh, wouldn't it be nice to have a round two in real life? Yeah. And I think we do every single day.

You know, if you don't get a good day, if you don't have a good day mm-hmm. , sleep it off and know that you have another shot at it. So we kind of. , um, just depends on your perspective, you know, . So, um, anyway, we're pivoting and we're doing round two of this podcast, and I've learned, I'm going to be more straight into the point.

All right, so what are the three P's Justin? Three Ps today are going to be. Purpose, productivity, and positivity. Hmm. That's, that's pretty as a nice ring to it. Yeah. The three P's today. So our goal is that you learned something today from either our failures or something that we're naturally good at, and that you would actually have some real value.

after, uh, today's discussion. Mm-hmm. . All right. So let's start with the first one, Justin. Uh, what does that mean to you? Purpose? I think purpose is something that, um, actually I'm going to reframe the question. Okay. To be more concise. Okay, good. That works for me. What, what element of the word purpose do you want to focus on in 2023?

I would say for me, I want to be very clear on what my goals are and make sure that I'm not, uh, wasting my time, which is very valuable for all of us with things that are not getting me closer to that goal. Mm-hmm. , but yet making sure that I'm never too busy, that I can't.  make time for things that are in alignment with my core values and core beliefs.

Mm-hmm. , that's vague. Very vague. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So purpose specifically with helping you gimme something that's tangible that you could see on a dart board and know you hit it . All right. So my purpose this year would be to the overall, I want to help people overcome fear and not live a complacent life.

Mm-hmm. . And what that looks like this year for me is helping. People by way of media, by way of having a show, whether that's through a podcast or whether that's sh through a TV show concept I have called the Fear Hunter Show. Mm-hmm. , where I'm helping people overcome fear by asking them questions and even giving them an opportunity for me to walk alongside them to help them overcome that fear and whether it's a few hours.

multiple days. Yeah. So launch the Fear Hunter is Yes. Okay. That's, that is tangible on a DART board launch The Fear Hunter 2023. What about the next P? The next P productivity? Um, if I want to reach the goal of having a fear, uh, the Fear Hunter show, I need to make sure that. , I'm not wasting my time on social media cuz I know that's a great time suck.

And recently I've been able to, over the last several months, hire somebody to help delegate the editing and posting on my behalf so I can be more of a creative. That's helped a lot. And also figuring out what things are eating my time that, um, that aren't in alignment with.  what I want to do with the Theater Hunter show and with helping other people out.

For example, I know that sometimes I, I got caught up in a rut of thinking, how can I monetize? Helping people overcome fear? And I got stuck in that and thought, you know what? Forget that. I wanna live a life knowing I'm helping people. So for a season I was doing it for free. I was helping, uh, people by just hopping on a call and figuring out, Hey, if I can help you out, what if I just did?

And I found that to be very beneficial, and I didn't get compensated at all. Right. But yet I got testimonials and I learned more about what I'm good at and what I need to stay more focused on. Yeah. Okay. That's well said. That's well said. Oh, thank you. Yeah. I love the fact that you're helping me stay on point.

Because I didn't go on tangent. We, we had a, we did have a practice round. Yeah, we did. Yeah. . Okay. So what's our third P positivity? Mm-hmm. . Um, one of my favorite quotes is by Winston Churchill. Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.  and in, if you're gonna be positive, you have to be willing to pivot and shift your perspective when it seems like you're experiencing one failure after the other.

Mm-hmm. . And you have to remind yourself, Hey, how can I have a positive look on this? And uh, sometimes that's just. Just, uh, surrounding yourself with people who can help you look at, look at the zoomed out perspective and help you realize how far you've actually come or how much you've learned. Because some of the, the failures in life are the greatest lessons that are going to reach people.

Okay? They don't care about all your successes. They want to know how much you had to go through the trenches to get to where you're at now. Okay, so tell me, what were the biggest changes in that element for you in 2020?  with, uh, which, with which p? Yeah, with positivity. Positivity. Um, I would say having coaches and having mentorship, um, knowing that I don't have to deal with a lot of the things on my own.

Mm-hmm. , uh, for example, when, when I get, when I enter a roadblock, um, I can talk to somebody.  and I had to be intentional. I, you know, some, some coaches are gonna be free. Some coaches are going to be, they're gonna cost money. There's a price to everything. But it is priceless when you are investing in your future and investing in, you know, figuring out why certain patterns are in your life and how to overcome them.

Mm-hmm. , and it takes a zoomed out perspective. Yeah. From somebody who produces good fruit in that area. Mm-hmm.  don't ever take advice from somebody who is not producing.  in that area, just like your best friend. They may not be financially well off. Do not take financial advice from him. I mean, it's simple.

Mm-hmm. . All right. Tell me a little bit about in 2022, what were the biggest changes you made in terms of your diet or your health? The diet and health. I, uh, I feel like I'm on.  that journey right now. Um, I know that my diet isn't the best right now, but I do know that if I work out consistently, I'm a, I'm more conscious of my diet.

Mm-hmm.  because I know that if I'm not performing well, there's probably a good chance at us to do with my diet or inconsistency in the gym. Mm-hmm.  or lack of recovery. I've noticed as I do more extreme things, I can have. , and it doesn't mean I can't overcome that. It doesn't mean I should stop working out, but I should be more conscious of my rest and recovery.

For example, I have a condition right now called medial epicondylitis. In other words, clamers elbow.  and another, or golfer's elbow, it's the same thing. Whereas tennis elbow, instead of it being in the, the ulnar area of your elbow, it's on the, um, the radial side. Oh, okay. Yeah. So it, it's just difference as far as are you pushing, pulling and the angle you're using that muscle.

So I need to focus more on pushing more than pulling and resting that muscle and not being stubborn to do things anyway. Cuz then it.  inflame that muscle and I can't really fight my body. Yeah. You know, and push through it. So I'm being more proactive with that. Um, and just enjoying the process of stretching in recovery and knowing I wanna live a life where if I fall down, I'm able to get back up.

Yeah. Whereas if you get older and not do anything, it's, it's more drastic. Okay. So it, on from a training perspective, are, are you focused on. , what are your big focuses? Right now? Right now is, um, being, doing different things cuz I love switching things up in the gym, but I love doing things that make me sweat and things that are different.

So right now I'm novelty. Yeah. I I, I, you're a man of novelty. I remember you telling me like maybe a year ago on a phone call that you just, you did a different ish workout almost every day. Yeah, yeah. And it didn't, A lot of people come up to me in the gym and say, Hey, what are you doing? What are you training?

Because they see me doing back flips and, uh, doing back flip burpees or back flip pull-ups or walk, you know, walking all my hands. Like literally just the other day I went into a handstand, you know, sled, you know, when you're pushing the sled and sometimes you can pull the sled with, uh, with the, uh, the rope instead of pull going, walking backwards with a sled.

I was walking all my hands pulling. Wow. Yeah, so that video hasn't launched yet, but, uh, yeah, literally got into it. I had to figure out how to get into a handstand, you know, in that, in the right way, and then started walking with it cuz I can walk on my hands. So I do things like that cuz they're fun, but also I focus on how can I hold a handstand longer?

How can I keep them more, how can I keep the right form? And I'm, I'm enjoying that process and not having to be super extreme at it. . Yeah. I, and listen, uh, not, I'm not preaching about having an ultimate goal there. I mean, I'm, I'm not in a competitive state right now, but, uh, what are you weighing in at right now?

Right now I'm at about 1 60, 1 62. I'm, I'm a little heavier than I've ever been. I was gonna say you're usually about one 50. Yeah. One, one, if I'm running 1 50, 1 55 would be about where I would, I would, I'd stayed most of my adult life. Yeah. Okay. So I'm a little heavier now and I. I wanna make sure that is not a, a pattern of me increasing my, yeah.

Yeah. Um, I'm a little heavier right now too. I'm about one 70 and I think my, if I'm, if I'm running, uh, 1 65 is probably about my peak. Okay. Peak weight right there, where I've still got the strength and, uh, but I've still got the power if I needed mm-hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. I want to not, my main motivation for working out is to not be limited by things.

Mm-hmm.  for an earthquake happened. Well, I mean, vers versatility is the very thing that you, when you train, you're being versatile, you know? Yeah. I mean, just talking about your hands, I mean, I, I couldn't do it. Uh, or I, I am sorry. I am not able to do it today. I could learn to do it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And just learning to pivot, like I'm watching videos on how different techniques for, uh, the elbow.

For example, one really great t.  is, um, so if you have meto epicondylitis, uh, great technique is taking a fry pan in your hand, having a 45 degree angle, and then slowly letting it drop so you're not exerting force and a pronation, um, uh, rotation, but you're slowing it down. You're keeping it from falling down, and that helps.

develop like kind of the opposite muscles and I need to focus more on pushing than pulling. And those are effective methods. And I've also heard of acupuncture as well. Just allowing that muscle to fully relax. Yeah. Release, and then allow your body to go through a slow process of recovery. There's gotta be a, a neat pun there for like wrist over fingers, uh, for the knees over toes guy.

Okay. But it's, it's all about Yep. I mean, his whole approach is doing the opposite direction Yeah. Of everything. So if he squat. . He does the thing where he pulls his feet towards him. If he, uh, pulls the cart forward, then he turns around and pulls it backwards or whatever. Yeah. The idea there being to work your muscles in both directions so you don't have this wear and tear, just uni directional.

I actually did a little bit of spinning this morning and I did like five minutes backwards. Mm-hmm.  just, just to kind of keep it a little novelty. It's, it's, it's funny whether you're on elliptical or a bike or, or even when you're walking, when you go backwards, it's at least as. I mean, it's not like it's any easier.

Yeah. One, one great, uh, technique that is, that was amazing for me. It helps switch up your routine if you're, if you're the type that runs and gets bored with that, I challenge you if you're in an area where you have mountains. Turn backwards and start running uphill, backwards. It is a tremendous workout.

And just do it for maybe 20 seconds and then turn around and every minute or two, turn around and jog backwards. You don't have to run backwards with a huge try. Just moving your feet a little bits. It helps a lot. Mm-hmm. . Um, one other thing that I discovered with my, um, I had wrist pain, uh, at some point, and I.

realized I was massaging the area of the wrist. I've been a massage therapist for over 20, for almost 20 years, and I realized it was coming from the strain of a flexer muscle in my, my forearm, and I realized I can massage my wrist all day at that insertion point, but it wasn't near as effective as when I stripped everything in my forearm and found the exact issue, then I got relief.

So a lot of times you can have referred. , you know, because of, uh, uh, something else. Yeah, I, I mean, one of the tips that I, I heard, especially when I had a lot of lower back pain, was start upstream or downstream of where you feel the pain. Yeah. Because it generally meets in the middle or, or there's a delay there.

So for my lower back pain, what it was, often the case was my glutes were suck. Were either tight or my hamstrings were tight and they were pulling on my lower back. So oddly enough you would roll out with a roller and then your back would. Yep. Yep. The three, those three are very closely connected, the lower back glutes and, um, hamstrings.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. So anything else you wanna share about maybe the timeline for the Fear Hunter or, um, right now my, my strategy is to go live on Instagram, interviewing a lot of business entrepreneurs and just finding out what has worked for them, what hasn't worked for them. Mm-hmm. , what fears they've encountered in that process.

maybe in the past in what they're currently going through. Uh, and then that would be once part of the Fear Hunters show. Yeah. You know, which is in alignment with the Fear Hunters show. Mm-hmm. , um, of walking the streets and helping people overcome fear. So I'm just gonna be walking through that learning and making sure that I am setting benchmarks so that I know I'm moving forward.

and, and, uh, I'm looking forward to having those there so I can clearly see it as my mom would always remind me, if you failed a plan, you plan to fail. And sometimes I don't clearly map out what things look like. And there, there are two nuggets that I want to share with you and we can, we can dive into one or go back to back.

Um, but one thing that I've learned LA this year was I function very well if I write things out ahead of.  and go through that list one at a time. Yeah. So, uh, I had a guess Jeff Wickersham on, and he's big on that as well, but he claimed there were studies that it, you were nine times more likely to complete something if you wrote it down on a piece of paper.

Yeah. As opposed to even typing it up. Mm-hmm. , which is not the same. Well, I agree. Let me say, I think this will be entertaining. These are the things you should not do. Um, no. These are the things you should do if you want to fail.  at being productive. So one thing is don't write down. Don't write anything down.

Yeah. Another thing is don't tell anyone else about the goal. Yeah. Don't tell anybody else. Um, write, uh, let's see. Start doing a bunch of other things. Don't that aren't written out. Don't be specific. Yes. Don't be specific because lemme tell you why. If you are starting that task and you're not specific, you can get overwhelmed and.

Oh, this is taking too much time in my brain. Let me skip it. Oh, I think it's the opposite problem. I think when people are not specific, they, uh, they tend to say, I've, I've, you know, I put a goal to be a happier person in 2022. Yeah. 2023. And, well, I don't really feel like doing anything right now. I'm perfectly content.

Mm. Mm-hmm.  . Yeah. So you're looking at that and you're going, how do I feel right now? Uh, I'm happy, I'm. , yet I made a goal to be, you know, a happier person. So that's a vague goal. That's the, the idea there, Justin, is that it invites rationalization. Mm-hmm.  and rationalization. The definition of it is I, when you tell yourself a story, so I, my kids would be able to recite that to you at nauseum because their father says it all the time.

Like, are, are we rationalizing here? What's the definite, are we telling ourself a story? So, therapy sessions in the car? Yeah. Therapy sessions in the car, they, the.  they, yeah. And, um, anyways, that when someone wants to state a goal or an objective, the first thing, especially because I, I was a facilitator, we used to call it, uh, how do you operationally define success?

And that means that you could take that statement and stick it in front of a team and you would know when you would hit the finish line. Yeah. And that whole team would know based on the verbiage. So if you said, Justin is going to reach a bigger audience this year. Well, literally one person follows you and you can check that off the list.

Yeah. Um, have a number. Yeah. In my case, you know, I need, I have to set metrics because if I say more, um, that's not saying much. You can't grow something that you can't measure and reflect on. Yeah. So if you can't measure it, yeah. You know, it could be so vague and you're not really gonna move anywhere.

Yeah. So, yeah, those are. That's something that, uh, so if you wanna be more productive, write everything down and do not add things to that list until you've gotten those things done. And I would even go further to prioritize your top one, two, or three things. Don't just get them done. Make sure they're at the very top of when you start a task or else you will find the temp, you'll find that you're tempted to do other things just so you can get a bunch of small wins.

But the one thing you really want to do are those top three. , make sure you also anticipate a more than enough time to do them because you, you, you're gonna find in life things happen and you wanna make sure you can value your own word, because sometimes you value your word to other people more than you value your own word to yourself.

And that can psychologically create a mess of a person. Yeah. Where you don't trust yourself.  and I, I hated being that person. Um, one other thing I wanted to share with you guys was how to not be a 72 take person. And I, I'm personalizing that because I grew up being a perfectionist, being, uh, growing up with a family of musicians and also, uh, being in the industry of acting and, and, and you have to, you're, you're competing against so many other people.

You have to be perfect, but don't let that transcend into your re your relationships and your personal.  because you're not a perfect person. Um, it doesn't mean you shouldn't strive for excellence, but let me give you an example. I did not wanna be the type of person who takes 72 takes to get one good take because, um, I, I, the example comes from, um, a video that I was supposed to, uh, film and, and send back to somebody.

They thought it was an excellent video, but they didn't know. It took me 72 takes, I felt open.  and I, I, I had to be vulnerable enough to, to seek help and I said, Hey, I, I don't like who I am. Being the 72 take person. I was very frustrated and I was just thinking of my future spouse having to deal with somebody filming it so many times.

So I reached out to this person and said, Hey, this took me 72 takes. Can you get me any advice on how to overcome this or to be better? Yeah. And he told me three things, and I'll never forget them, is the second time saying this cuz we've done this, uh, once before. So we're more to the point. The first thing he said was, pretend like you're live, and, uh, hey, if you have to do it one more time, that's totally fine.

That's real life. The second thing is what, uh, resonated with me most. He said It might not be perfect, but it's good enough. That I think is a message for some of you people who are stuck in perfectionism. And the third thing ties in beautifully as well. Realize that even if it's not perfect, if it's 50% or 80% of what you want to come out there, realize there is a purpose of why you are like, even right now we're on this podcast, there is a reason for this podcast, and I do believe that there are people listening to this where it is maybe 50% of how I wanted to execute communicating.

but it is going to be good enough for some people to hear it, for it to change their life. Mm-hmm. . And that's it. So don't be a perfectionist. Get it out there and realize it's good enough and just, I think that'll help a lot of perfectionists out there. Yeah. As they say in the entrepreneurial community.

Ship it, ship it, ship it. Yeah. Yeah. You should be a little bit embarrassed of your first product is what they say. And there's also a book of a man who, he struggled with writing his first book and he said, Hey, here's the 80%. Just make sure it's 80% good, then you can revise it. That's your rough draft when you revise it.

Yeah. Do 80% of that, you know, and then 80% of that, and then you end up with like, not like whatever it is, like 99.7%, like effectiveness or whatever is 97%. Yeah. It's just get it out there. . You know, what did you say? Ship it. Uh, ship it. Yeah. Ship it. Yeah. You should be on said a little bit embarrassed. Yeah.

Yeah. Because then you have room for growth. Mm-hmm. , you, you expose that you're a human being. Yeah. It's good. It's not bad. Well, this is why timelines work in our favor is, you know, we, it forces us to say, okay, I've agreed that this is the date it's going to, it's gonna, people are gonna see what it looks like no matter what on this.

and that, that keeps you from being able to continue to tweak it, right? Yeah. Yeah. It gets, I, I, I've learned that, um, I'm very creative, I think because I, I grew up procrastinating. Yeah. I'd wait till the last minute and then have to get creative to figure out how to get it done. Yeah. So, yeah, it's just, so this podcast, it's, it's a little over a year old and.

I started with the idea of it over a year before the first one aired because I kept thinking it was gonna be something along the lines of like this American life, you know, just very well produced, narrated. I was gonna have these wonderful guests, and then I realized like, this is never ever gonna happen.

Like if I am waiting for all this stuff to line up to be that perfect, this is never gonna. So there was, from there it was, you know, putting things in motion and sometimes those things involved, uh, payments of like a, for example, the hosting platform and all this to where I was like, okay, now I'm paying for all this stuff.

I've got to, I've gotta, I've gotta ship something. And of course, I mean, you hear this from mentors all the time, but it's different when, when nobody's watching. That's the hardest part. Mm-hmm. , because when nobody's watching, , it is so easy to say. Next month. I told you I did an open mic night. Uh, yeah. This a few weeks ago.

And I specifically remember even like the, the night that I was thinking about going to that open mic night going, uh, I could, I could wait till next month and I'll have three more weeks to practice this, these songs that I wanna play, and they'll be that much better by the time. Yeah. And of course it was just rational.

Yeah. And then you, you won't get it done. Yeah. And I would not get, would've got, would not have gotten it done. What's one process that you've learned in the creation of chasing energy? That you was a big struggle, but you actually have persevered through it and actually enjoy. Is there a, I mean, is there something that you've learned.

to enjoy in this process. I've learned nothing, dude. Nothing. . No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I don't know how to respond to that now. No.  probably, if you wanna know, like the biggest dopamine hit I get is when I'm walking down the street and someone says, It's not, it doesn't happen often, but someone will go, Hey, I listened to your podcast a month ago with that guest.

And I really enjoyed that, that that same thing when I used to write articles mm-hmm.  and I would be in races and someone would say, Hey, I read your article about that race. That was an amazing journey. So those, uh, I guess words of affirmation Yeah. Is, is probably the biggest, most rewarding aspect of it as far as that doesn't have anything to do with what I'm actually good at though.

Mm-hmm. . , I think to be affirmed for the things that you're doing behind the scenes. That's the thing. I, that's the, I mean, I enjoyed that part, but, uh, as far as, actually I will say the biggest thing is fighting the, the desire to be, to have the interview. Perfect. Okay. And, and sit there. And did I ask the perfect question?

Could I go back in and edit the part? I'll give you an example. Anyone who listens to this podcast, you'll notice that more and more podcasts out there, there are no word RA word gaps whatsoever. They run a software package so that every time you're done speaking a word, the next word comes outta your mouth.

And I don't do it. And the reason is because I find it so hard to relate to those people who are telling a very powerful story about growing up, and there's not a single breath of air when you listen. Wow. There are time and place for those podcasts. For example, they're very, the ones that are just basically information dumps.

Yeah. The no word gap is necessary. You don't really necessary, you're just basically getting an information dump. Uh, hey, if you want to get cheaper tickets on airlines, this is what you do. You don't need talk. Yeah. You don't need a, a breath gap for that. But when someone's trying to tell you, you know, I struggle with obesity.

Uh, I had di you know, my parents had diabetes.  and when, when you go in there and speed all that stuff along for the idea that we're gonna go take this podcast from 38 minutes to 30 minutes, I, I'm like, uh, well, that if someone wants to listen to their story, they can, they can wait an extra eight minutes.

Yeah. Yeah. So, I, I fought the need to, to, to sound better. I, I was religiously re removing my mistakes. The first few podcast. Yep. And went through and I spent more time editing my voice than anyone else's, cuz I was embarrassed about it. Hmm. And I don't do that anymore. And in fact, I've kind of taken pride in it of, oh, that's, that's something I'll learn from.

There's a mistake in there, I'll learn from it. Now if it distracts from the audience, I will go and say, yeah, this, this is not helping the story. Uh, a delivery man coming to your front door while you're in the middle interview or something like that. Yeah. Um. Being at peace with going, okay, this isn't, this isn't quite what I wanted to be.

And I, in fact, the way that I escalated that Justin was when I, when I agreed to do, when I was, I was pretty lazy. I was doing one podcast every other week, and there were definitely weeks where I did not deliver one, and I was like, who's listening? Anyway. Mm-hmm. . Um, when I did that deal recently where I, I agreed to do two podcasts a week.

made me get way more aggressive and way more comfortable with mistakes and just putting the content together and shipping way more than I had been before because I was like, I have committed to two days a week. Yeah, this is a big deal. And it also, uh, I don't know how long I'm gonna continue it, but for the time being, it's almost worth the fee I'm paying with the, the guy that told me to do that, which.

You know, he's helping market the podcast. It's almost worth it from like a coaching perspective to have paid him that money. And then I, I sit here and go, now I have to deliver to a to a week. Now I have to. Yeah. And also when I'm on training, like when I'm training or walking, now I know that I have to put together a solo episode in three days.

Okay. And I have to come up with the idea, refine the. , write out the key points and then record it. It's usually a three day process, and knowing that I have to do that causes my brain to think in different ways. When I'm on the run or the walk, I'm thinking to myself, now you have 72 hours to get this from concept to delivery.

What do you got for me? As opposed to saying, eh, maybe I'll do it, maybe I won't. Those ideas tend to just kind of go off into. Yeah, they don't, they don't get captured. They don't get refined. So the thing that I, I think I'm most grateful right now with this podcast is that it has kind of held me over the flames of saying I'm going to create things, uh, refine them into what I consider to be packageable stuff.

I, I, last week's, uh, podcast, what is today? 28th? Yeah, so I think it went out. , um, uh, was the one I told you were what lessons I learned from having Covid, right? Yeah. Okay. That was not an easy one to put together and record cause I just didn't feel like it. But the point being I was like, , I was looking at those points and going with the right.

If I had one more day, I could put together some acronyms to make all this come together, . But instead I was going, okay, you gotta ship. Yeah, you gotta get recorded tonight. Good. And the rationalization part of me, we will say things like, what if we just got up early and recorded it and da da? I was like, no, no, no, dude.

Chip it and get it ready to where it's in the pipeline for tomorrow. Um, that's the other thing, uh, the more often than.  doing the episode a day or two in advance has been the smartest thing I've done. I, if anything, I should be doing them weeks in advance. Mm-hmm. . But with the scheduler, you can put 'em in the queue to, they'll go out on whichever day and time you suggest.

So it's kind of like the idea of doing your homework for the exam three days early. Everybody agrees it's a good idea. Mm-hmm. , but nobody actually wants to start studying for. Yeah. You know, Friday's homework on Monday and have it turned in by Tuesday. Yeah. Like that just, it's just in our nature to say how much more time do I have?

So I'm still fighting the urge. It'll be interesting when I do, I told you I was gonna do more traveling. Mm-hmm. . So it'll be interesting to see if I can, uh, pre-build some content up to, to, to ship out and, and basically be scheduled for when I'm stepping away from the mic or whatever for that three day for, we didn't talk about it all in this time around, but the three.

effective being away from technology. Yeah. I love that. I, I, while you were talking, I kind of had this, just like this image of you being on the go when you do your solo podcasts. Mm-hmm. . , how effective would it be for you to just speak while you're on the go? Like if you can Yeah. The quality's not gonna be super effective.

Look, me speaking on the go is not the problem. People wanting to hear that is the, is, yeah. I don't know if, if my stream of thought is worthy of this audience's ears. I don't, I I first, just so everyone knows, I've been voice journaling for almost 15 years. Mm-hmm. . So I collect my thoughts and uh, voice to text.

You're just No, it's voice audio. It's audio. Uh, and the reason that I insist on voice journaling is because I've never found another way to have more of capturing the inflection of what you're going through. Uh, you could argue video is, I mean, they didn't have video journaling when I started all this.

Mm-hmm. , it was, it was, uh, oh. Too intensive for like those phones at the time. But what I find with voice journaling, , uh, in, in many ways that, that the way that people relate to a podcast sometimes more than say a video is, you know, they just want to hear it while they, they don't have the distractions of, yeah, I can just focus on the words and not what the lighting and the situation is.

But with voice journaling, what I notice is, uh, a couple of things. I'm big on making timestamps, meaning, uh, Justin.  is that this particular crossroads? I can think of a few crossroads you've been at in the last few years. Yeah. Where and so have I where personal and Yeah. Personal and professional. Yeah.

Where we've talked through 'em and when you make the Voice journal, don't try to give the answer. That's the first thing. Yeah. Uh, just talk about what you're feeling and what you're facing and why, maybe why you think you might know the answer, but you can also be very clear as, . I know that I'll hear this in a year from now, and I'll have so much perspective that it'll be kind of silly or stupid, but I'm telling you now, this is the situation I'm in and this is the way I feel.

When you go back and hear that, here's what I would challenge you, you will have so much more empathy for yourself because you'll hear, you'll hear the the yourself sort of crying out. Yeah. For like, please give me guidance. Please help me. And when you hear. . It's so much different than reading it saying, I had a problem today.

I don't know what to do. Mm-hmm. , you know? Mm-hmm. , what I, so I chose this. Okay. Well, with voice journaling, what I find is I hear the pain in that voice. I hear the sincerity of saying, please, I really want to make future Daniel as as great a quality of life as I can. What can I do for you? So that I can serve you for the better tomorrow.

And when I hear myself say that to myself, I'm like, man, he was giving me a gift. And it's so easy for us to forget all those gifts that we gave ourselves from our past selves. That that, and by the way, there's just as many times I think, where people need to be voice journaling cuz they don't realize they're robbing their future self.

Yeah. I mean, how many times Justin do we hear of people who, once they hit their forties or fifties, now they're like, now I have to start taking care of myself. And it's like, well, there's so much damage that's irreversible. It's kinda like, what's the best time to plant a tree? Uh, yeah. 20 years ago, what's the second best time today?

Yeah. So when we, when we are dealing with people who are making life poor lifestyle choices mm-hmm. , we'll call it that. You're robbing from your future self and what they generally rationalize it as is, well, I can still bail myself. I'm still at a point where this is reversible. Want a different example?

Sure. Finances. When you're putting stuff on a card and you're thinking, I'm okay right now, I'm making the payment. Life is fine, I'm renting, it's okay. But what you're doing is you're setting up your future self. Just in 2024, just in 2025, Daniel 2020, what are you doing to that person today? You want a shorter term example of that?

Very simple. Everything after one drink is borrowing tomorrow's happiness for today. Well, that's what you're doing on a bigger scale when you're not taking care of your health, when you're not taking care of your finances. So when I voice journal, it puts a timestamp in place and it adds accountability to say, look, I'm really struggling.

and look, having real friends that you can be real with help. Um, and when I say real friends, um, this is where I'm gonna delineate most people who would call themself your friends. I'm not painting them in a bad light, but they feel like what they're obligated to do is to tell you what you want to hear.

And what I mean by that is to say you go through something.  and you may or may have not have done something stupid and they're gonna say, you did the best you could. It's no big deal. It's not your fault. Move on. I specifically like, um, your brother, uh, Michael. Um, when I talk to Michael, I always tell him, give it to me straight.

Don't tell me what I need to hear. I don't need, I don't need you to give me soft and fuzzies here. Yeah. I'm here for you to tell me how I can have a better tomorrow. Yeah. That's, that's literally the words I use that not many people are like that cuz they're, they can be sensitive and, you know, so the fact that you're real with wanting to hear the hardcore truth so you can start looking at it to change is, is admirable.

Yeah. And there's a, there's a way to be supportive to your friends by still, but still being. . Um, and then also you have to ask yourself, is this a welcome comment? Because the person, most people don't want that direct feedback. They actually want you to tell them what they want is sympathy, not empathy.

Right? Yeah. Sympathy being, I want you to feel sorry for this state of conditions I'm going through. Don't tell me that I did this to myself, which I know I did. I just don't want you to tell me. Yeah, yeah. And with sympathy, it's like, you know, there, there's. You're admitting defeat, like there's no hope.

It's like, oh, there's like no hope of, you're encouraging. Pity is what you're doing. Yeah. And you know that that's not good. That's, that's in a form of enablement. It is. I think it is actually. Yeah. That's a great, that's a great way of putting it. You're enabling someone and you're very much enabling them to continue whatever they were doing.

Yeah, it's, it's also good to ask permission, Hey, do I have permission to, you know, kind of tell you how it is, what I think, you know. Do you want feedback? Yeah. So, uh, it should be clear, uh, if you have a partner or spouse, um, that there should be a protocol for this. The protocol I used to use when I was married was, uh, I had, uh, three choices.

Uh, when my ex-wife would come home and start talking about this person or that person, I would say, do you want me to listen, coach, or. So nine. This is so good. 90% of the time the answer was just, uh, just listen. Just listen. , I don't want you, I don't want your advice. And so that was my big fault. By the way, uh, just so everyone knows, my default was to say, oh, she wants me to fix this.

Oh, she wants me to coach her. No. That was very rarely the case. Yeah. Their, their, their brains work differently and from what I've heard, the, the waffle analogy, guys are in their boxes. Women are the spaghetti and they can go around and they don't. Yeah. Yeah. So let me tell you where that's gonna get muddled.

Just, just because I know that that example was so clear cut. The, where it's gonna get muddled is when your spouse or partner comes back and it's the third time they're venting about that same issue. This is where it's gonna be hard for you to not turn into coach and go. , you complained about that person.

You, you know, you helped 'em with that project. You said you wouldn't do it again. You did it again. This is the third time now that you're, we're having, you're having to work overtime because of their slacking or whatever. This is where I'm gonna have to start turning into coach. So there should be an escalating slide there.

Don't get me wrong, depending on your relationship with that person. I think that's why it's important to know what your core beliefs are or core values and really think about what those look like. If you want to be a man or woman of I. If you want to be a loving, courageous person, have that person hold you to that.

So then if you do ever enter a crossroad,  of not acting like that, that other person can call you up to that higher place and say, Hey, this is the type of person that you say you want to be. Yeah. It's not in alignment with what you said you want it to be. Yeah. It gives So holding you to your own standard.

Correct. Yeah. And I think that's, so then it's more than just, why do you, why do you think I keep asking you about your 2023 goals here? Justin, I'm gonna hold you to your own standard here, buddy. Yeah. Which is really good. And, and, and, and focusing on what you can. I think the last thing I can end. Focusing on what you can control, cuz most of life is uncontrollable.

So you know locus, locus of control, locus. Yeah. You draw a circle. This is the stoic philosophy. , you draw that circle and you ask yourself when, when you experience something, is this within my circle of control? Mm-hmm. . And, uh, I can give you plenty of examples in the last week where I had, was upset about something mm-hmm.

and I drew that circle and it turned out there wasn't Jack diddly do that. Yeah. Uh, for, for obviously, for obvious reasons, uh, laying in bed with a super high fever and feeling like absolute crap. Uh, when you.  a and if you're listening to this podcast, you probably are, uh, when you are a very pro, productive minded person, you don't like missing things, meetings, workouts, all those things.

Even when I was laying in bed with that fever, I would still have like flashes of shame. Mm-hmm.  like, oh, I just canceled two meetings that I was supposed to be in today. I can't believe I, I can't believe this. And then I would stop for a second and go, what am I doing? I can't even move. Yeah. I mean, what, what am, what on earth am I gonna do?

I drew the circle and was like, for now that's outside the circle. Now what could I do? I texted them a note and said, I'm not gonna be at those meetings today. I'm sorry. I apologize. I'll make it up to you. Uh, even, uh, what was it, eight, eight days or I did not work out. That's extremely long stretch for me.

Yeah. But I was at the point where I was like, it wouldn't do me any good if I did, cuz I told you how I, I went. , maybe like four days after I had Covid and I walked some heels. I was like, man, I'm so sore just from walking these heels. But, so I looked at it and said, this is all I can do today. And I've, I've just, I've made peace with it.

I didn't beat myself up about it and say, you know, when am I gonna get to my next zone to work out? When am I gonna get back? How much strength have I lost? That's another one. Yeah. How much strength have I, well, it doesn't matter because there's really nothing I can do about it right now. Yeah. You know, when, when you're talking, I, I, I think that can, one thing as a theme I, I see is to be more empathetic toward yourself because the way you treat yourself is maybe never the way you would treat your own son or daughter because we we're so harsh and hard on ourselves.

Oh. Not just the son and daughter. In fact, if anything, I wish I was a little easier on my son and daughter, but, uh, just how do I. The average stranger versus myself and Yeah. Yeah, exactly. The amount of grace. I've given the example on this podcast a few times of how I had to start doing, I, I, I guess I started doing this just over a year ago because I've, I've put it on the podcast a few times, but I, uh, tend to be the overachiever type and, um, To a, I don't mean that as a bragging point, because what often ends up is I, I feel more shame of what I didn't achieve than I, than gratitude or gratefulness or accomplishment for what I did.

So an example that would be is a very simple example. Uh, if I left dishes in the kitchen and went to bed and then saw him the next morning, yeah, I would be the first person to beat myself up and say, you know what, how could you? , how lazy are you that you couldn't do these dishes? Mm-hmm. . Nevermind the fact that I cooked dinner every single day.

Yeah. And, uh, it didn't happen often, but when it did happen, I would shame myself. And so , I tried a little experiment and actually worked, uh, I would say in, in the evening when I would be going to bed and I saw that pile of dishes, force yourself not to do them. I would say, I'm giving you Daniel of tomorrow.

I'm giving.  grace and forgiveness for this, you're not allowed to give yourself grief over it. Okay. When I would see the dishes in the morning, I would go, oh, oh wait. Yeah, I'm not allowed to do that. Okay. And it was just that simple step of saying, no, no, no, no. I know how you are. You're gonna obsess over this, don't worry about it.

Mm-hmm. . So the same protocol is what I've been using for, uh, we said it in our first go round , which was you were talking about rest and recovery, uh, and. , uh, I said, A time plan to be wasted is not wasted time. Mm-hmm. . And so what I have become, my kids will tell you I am the worst when it comes to like sitting and watching a movie, like to, to me it's like we are gonna have to sit for two hours.

Are you outta your mind? What are we doing? Yeah. I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to do some plyometrics on the floor or, or do dishes while this movie's going, depending how stupid it is. , uh, looking at those situations now and saying, um, we, we journal, or I'm sorry, we, we create our to-do list, right? And my day, by the way, my to-do list day is Sunday.

Mm-hmm. , uh, I, I write out my entire week. Yeah. Uh, everything from my workouts to my to-do list. Everything is written on a Sunday, but what I've started doing is, is two things. Number one, I say, Daniel, if you check.  most everything on this list. You're not allowed to look back on Saturday and say, I don't feel like I got anything done this week.

Wow. So, uh, that's one. And then number two is that I specifically, it, it's kind of like a, a 1.2 cuz it's really a subset of that, which is to say, um, I specifically put in there like, you're not allowed to feel like you wasted time watching a movie if you got this done. , what would historically happen is I would get it done and then I would sit down and watch a movie, and then I'd feel like guilty.

I'd be like, this is two more hours. I could go do all this other stuff, you know? Yeah. Nevermind the fact that I would be completely out of balance and just frazzled and exhausted. Um, it's kind of like, yo-yo dieting for your brain, right? Yeah. You go all in and then you get to the point where you willpower's just famished, and you're like, now I don't want to do any it.

It doesn't bring me joy anymore. You have to rewire the way you're thinking and be the adult, the loving. Demonstrating unconditional love in your own life, give you grace, but also re reward. You know, celebrate the things that you actually achieved. Yeah. And not feel guilty. And like, I know we were talking earlier about, you may have, you may be very intentional about the friends you have, but if you don't feel, if you don't ever get to see an action, how they're your best friends or you're you're closest, then how are you ever gonna feel that, for example, you may have very close friends, but if you never allow.

To see your vulnerable side. If you never call them and say, Hey, I need help, because you can figure it out on your own. You're never gonna feel that they are your core friends because you might just be fearing that you might have a false hope that they can actually be there for you. And yeah, I mean, when, when it comes to friends, it's, it's, it's a live thing.

It's a plant, it's a verb. It's not something that's, You have to constantly be watering it. You have to constantly be putting things in, pruning it. It doesn't, it doesn't get to a certain point and then stay static indefinitely. We're human beings that are always changing, and if you're not being part of that change in somebody's life, you're, you're losing your impact.

Yeah. Like a, like a roommate. You're either a blessing or a curse, you know, like, you're not gonna, you're not gonna be in the middle ground. Yeah. It's, there's, there's, you know, you're either liking that person or you're not. So Yeah. Hopefully this, some of these nuggets. Some, something resonated with you. In fact, whatever resonated with you.

Uh, we just wanna encourage you to reach out to either one of us. Reach out and let us, yeah, let us know what impacted you the most and maybe even something that you would love us to dive into more. Maybe you'd like us sharing some more personal stories or would like us to share more personal stories.

Um, but also if there is something that I can personally help you out with, I. Extend that invite. You guys can follow me on Instagram, Justin Mena official. Uh, the link will be in the description and if there's an area of fear that you're struggling with, I would personally love to help you out with that.

And however that looks, maybe I can give you the, a few steps or hop on a discovery call with you, something, because I genuinely know that that's part of my calling and I want to stick to that purpose that it is Justin, that is, and thank you for sharing your message.  📍 Yeah, thanks for having the audio.

Yeah, I appreciate you, man.