#316: When Everything You Have Lived Through Becomes Your Reason for Being

What if everything you have survived was quietly preparing you for the very thing you were put here to do?

In the finale of the My Story series, Kavita shares what happened after she took the leap, when the relief gave way to quiet panic and the only thing left to do was take one small step, and then another. This is the story of how a wide open unknown slowly became a life she loves, and how the four circles of ikigai, your strengths, your passions, your values, and your contribution, were inside her all along, waiting to be rediscovered. If you are standing in your own now what moment, this episode is for you.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• How a midlife career and life transition becomes a life you love by following the energy that makes time disappear
• Why your ikigai, your reason for being, was never a four circle diagram with a paycheck at the bottom, and what the fourth circle really is
• The three things to carry with you when you cannot yet see where your next step will land

Press play to hear the question that changed everything for Kavita, and let it begin to change something for you.

Have a question about finding your ikigai, taking the leap, or anything else on your own journey? Ask Me Anything! Send it to me for a future episode: Kavita@itsmytimenowcoaching.com

If everything in you is saying yes right now, book a Clarity and Next Chapter Call with Kavita to discover which of your four circles you have been ignoring and the first step toward your reason for being. You can also take the Career & Life Fulfillment Quiz to see where you are in your own midlife transition right now.

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New episodes every Monday and Thursday.

This podcast explores career and life transitions, helping women find clarity, confidence, and purpose through Ikigai and self-discovery. We cover navigating change, overcoming self-doubt and limiting beliefs, finding your purpose-driven career, and building the courage to start your next chapter - whether you're facing a career transition, life transition, or midlife reinvention.

Transcript

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What if everything you have survived was quietly preparing you for the very thing that you were put here to do? Today, in the finale of my story, we go looking for yours. In this episode, you'll discover three things. First, how the wide open unknown on the far side of a leap slowly becomes a life you love, even when you begin with nothing. Second, what your Ikegai, your reason for being, actually is, and why it was never the four circle diagram with a paycheck at the bottom. And third, why the pieces you have been searching for have been inside you all along, and how to begin bringing them together. So stay with me to the end because the question I'm going to leave you with is the one that changed everything for me. Hello and welcome back to the Midlife Reinvention Podcast. It's your coach Kabita. If you're new to this podcast, I welcome you to the Midlife Reinvention Podcast family. Something attracted you here, and for that I am so grateful, and hope that my insights will inspire you in your own journey. If you are a returning listener, I thank you so much, and want you to know that I don't take it lightly that you're here. Today is the finale of the My Story series, and if you have walked these last few weeks with me, I thank you. We have been through the inheritance I carried, the playbook I followed, the values that shaped me, and last Monday, the leap itself. If any of this is new to you, you're welcome here, and you can go back to episode 308 of the My Story series to start at the beginning. When I left you last time, I was sitting at a brand new desk in a brand new home office, staring at a computer and thinking, now what? I had taken the leap, and I had no idea where it could land. Maybe you know that feeling. The one that comes right after a brave decision. When the relief gives way to a quiet panic and you think, what on earth have I done? If you have ever sat in that not knowing, stay with me here, because this is the story of what comes after it. I want to tell you where that first step led, because it is the whole reason I'm able to sit here and speak to you today. So after asking that question, now what, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I took one small step, and then another. I started reaching out to people, women in the space, coaches, other experts, anyone who would help me understand this stage of life I was living and suddenly so curious about. I went to women's gatherings around the city, I listened and networked and asked questions and brainstormed with others, and I slowly began to understand where in this area I could offer my experience and expertise. At that time, I was like a sib. I was taking courses and gathering my own insights and writing about them and creating my own curriculum. I knew there was something special about the transitions that women go through, which few were talking about, and so I immersed myself in the learning and the applying. And something happened that I want you to pay attention to because it is a signal you can trust in your own life. Time disappeared. I would look up and hours had passed, and I was more energized than when I had begun. And that is a feeling of anabolic energy, the energy of expansion, and it was showing me in real time that I was moving towards something true. I want to stop there because often women come to me afraid of what to do next. They become overwhelmed. But underneath the overwhelm is an idea that won't go away, a spark of interest in a particular topic or area. I tell them to go with it, explore that spark however they can. Don't be afraid to learn about it, to network, to gather your own opinions and formulate your own solutions. Sometimes, do things that make you a bit uncomfortable to test what you can actually do. An example of that for me is in my first year of rediscovery, I did something that still surprises me when I look back at it. I ran a three-day online conference. I somehow got the guts to invite experts from all over the world, people far more established and famous than I was, and I interviewed them, one after the other, about how they had reinvented their own lives. It was surprising the cooperation I received and the number of people who attended with positive feedback. That gave me even more evidence that I was on the right track. Of course, I did not feel ready, but I did it anyway, and it worked. And maybe you have something like that waiting in you right now, something you keep putting off until you feel ready. I never felt ready. I began anyway. That conference, it lit something inside of me, and it became the seed of everything that came next. I discovered that I love learning about other people's stories and interviewing them. In fact, I forgot a passion that I had when I was a young girl. I always thought I was going to be a reporter and I dreamt I would be a reporter, and I would carry it around a pretend microphone and interview anyone in sight. So I thought, why not get a real microphone and do just that? So I decided to start this podcast, even messy. And I want to take you right into that moment because it was not glamorous. I ordered a microphone, and when it arrived, I sat at my desk and looked at this little piece of equipment and thought, I have no idea how to use any of it. So I taught myself all of it, the recording, the editing, the uploading, every button and every setting alone, often late into the night. And my friend, those first episodes were rough. My voice shook, I didn't really know what I was doing. But slowly and surely I improved. I learned the art of interviewing and what to say and what not to say. I'll never be perfect and neither will you. But what if you never even try? What if you never pick up your own version of my microphone? Isn't that a missed opportunity? I will tell you something else. Since I was asked what I would have done differently. I made many mistakes. I spent a great deal of money on marketing companies and branding experts, and some taught me a lot, and others didn't. They were kind of truthfully simply a waste. You'll remember I came from a corporate background and where everything was done for me and I just had to do the work. Now I was an entrepreneur and having to learn how to run a business, all the little bits of it, all the fun stuff, but also annoying things that I really did not like to do and was not really good at. But if I couldn't do it myself, I found ways of outsourcing tasks to others. I did not do any of this perfectly. I want you to hear that because the story you tell yourself, that everyone else has it all figured out is not true. I stumbled my way forward, and every stumble was part of the path. And the more I followed that positive energy, the clearer it became what I was being pulled towards. It was women in transition. Their stories, their questions, their stuck places that looked so much like my own. And I realized that if I truly wanted to help them and not only talk to them, I needed to learn how. So I made another decision. I enrolled in a year-long coach training program through an organization called IPEC, and it really changed my life. It is where I learned the language of energy I now share with you, anabolic and catabolic, the energy that expands us and energy that contracts us. And when I finished, I launched my coaching business. I share this because we often think we need another credential to succeed, and that is not always the case. But if the path leads you to one that you know is the right one, open the door, my friend. That decision, more than anything I've ever done, is a work that fills me. To sit with a woman and guide her forward to find her own way through, there is nothing more rewarding to me than that. I tell you this not because your path will look like mine, because it will not, but because you have a pull of your own, something you keep being drawn back to. That pull is not a distraction, it is a direction. And it was only looking back with the business running and the clients arriving that I could finally see the patterns. Everything I had been rediscovering was not random. The strengths I was leaning on, the passions I had buried that were finally living again, the values that had shifted and were now leading me, and then the thing that the world kept needing from me. The women walking a few steps behind me on the very same road. Four pieces. And when I looked at where they all met, in the center, I found the work I am doing today. That center has a name and it is called your Ikigai, your reason for being. It is a place where your strengths, your passions, your values, and your contribution all overlap. And the most beautiful part of it is that I did not have to a single piece of it. Every one of those circles was already inside of me. I only had to take some time to rediscover them. Now you've heard me talk about Ikigai before, and you may have seen it in also before, as a four-circle diagram floating around online, with what you are good at, what you love, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. And I taught that version for years myself, and it is a wonderful doorway. But here is what I've come to understand. As I've researched it more and more, and as I've coached more and more women to find theirs, I've also gained so much insight from interviewing the author of the book, Ikigai, Francis Morales. All of this knowledge has helped me realize this. Real Ikigai, the original idea, was never about what you can be paid for. It is not a job finding chart. It is about how you live your life and in all its dimensions. My reason for being did not pay me a cent in the beginning. I walked away from the salary to find it. I have come to discover that the fourth circle is not your paycheck, it is your values, what matters most to you right now in this chapter of your life. Now that doesn't mean that money disappears, it means we make room for something far bigger, and that something is abundance. Abundance is not only money, it is fulfillment, it's connection, it's the deep satisfaction of doing work that matters. And it is a life that feels rich in every direction. And here's what I've seen in my own life and in the women I work with. When you stop chasing the paycheck and start living from your reason for being, the abundance comes anyway, in forms you never expected. And very often in far greater measure than money was the only goal. But more than that, your ikigai does not have to choose Ikigai is a sweet spot where your strengths, your passions, your values, and your contribution reside. And it is uniquely yours. You only have to give yourself permission to find it. Ask me whether I'm living the vision I started with, or whether it has changed. The honest answer is that it has changed completely and for the better. I did not set out to become an Ikigai coach for women in transition, which truthfully is what I am now, or a top 3% worldwide podcast host. I could not have imagined that. I had to walk the road before I could see where it was going. I had a belief and a vision for my life which led me, but the details revealed themselves one step at a time as I moved. Another question that was asked of me was, what was the greatest unexpected gift of reinventing my life in my fifties? And I have thought about this a great deal. The unexpected gift is that that very transition I once was so afraid of, the one I procrastinated on for at least two years, the one that I made mistakes after mistakes in, became the thing I now get to give to other people. Nothing I lived through was wasted, not the fear, not the doubt, not the years I stayed stuck. All of it became the thing that lets me sit with another woman and say, I know, I have been there, and there is a way through. That is a gift I never saw coming. Another very insightful question was this How has all of this changed the way I see aging? I love that question because it really is at the heart of why I named this podcast the midlife reinvention. It changed everything. I used to think of midlife as the beginning of the slow part, the winding down. I do not really see it that way anymore. I see it instead as a launch pad. This chapter, the one you may be in right now, with everything you have earned, everything you have learned and survived and become, is not the end of your story. For many of us, it is the truest beginning of it. So here is what I want you to take from all of this. Everything I found you already have. Out there somewhere, waiting to be discovered in a book or a course or someone else's life, but they are in you your strengths, your passions, your values, and the contribution only you can make. Shaped by everything you have lived. Your reason for being is not missing. It is unassembled. And bringing those four circles together is a work I would love nothing more than to do with you. So before we close this series, let me leave you with the three things I most want you to carry. First, you don't need the whole map before you to take the first step. A leap into the unknown becomes a life you love through small steps and by following the energy that makes time disappear. Secondly, your reason for being lives where your strengths, your passions, your values, and contribution all meet. When you find that, watch how the abundance flows into your life. And third, you don't have to go find any of this. The circles are already in you. Your only work is to rediscover them step by step, mistake by mistake, until one day the answer will be so evident. And here is a question I promised you, the one that changed everything for me. If you recall, that was the question my beautiful sons asked me on a beach one year before I actually made my career transition. If you could do anything in the world that you wanted to do, what would it be? Sit with that this week. Don't rush to answer it. Let yourself hear it. And if it feels right, follow it. Thank you so much for staying with me on this journey of my own story, and I hope my insights from my story have helped illuminate your own. And if everything in you is saying yes right now, my friend, do not let that fade by tomorrow morning. I'd like you to pause this episode, open the show notes, and book a clarity and next chapter call with me while you still feel it. In the time we spend together, you will walk away knowing which of your four circles you have been ignoring, and the first step towards your reason for being, whether or not we've ever work together again. That is the difference between another year of quietly wondering and the moment you actually begin. The link is right there, waiting for you. Go now, and I will see you on the other side of it. Thank you for listening, my friend, and remember, you get to decide what comes next. So say it with me and say it with confidence. It's my time now.