#330: The Real Reason Some People Seem to Have It All in a Midlife Transition.

Have you ever looked at someone who seems to have it all and wondered why life feels so much easier for them than it does for you?

It is easy to assume they were born lucky, born special, or given something the rest of us were not. What is actually happening is far more available to you than it looks. In this episode, Kavita shares why alignment with who you are and what you truly want is the one thing that steadies you, moves your energy up the spectrum, and begins to attract the people, circumstances, and next chapter you have been quietly waiting for. She also brings in the anabolic and catabolic energy framework, and the two questions human beings have been asking for generations, to help you find your own starting place.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• What alignment actually is, why it is not luck, and how it becomes the force that begins to draw the right people and circumstances toward you during a career and life transition
• How the energy spectrum from catabolic to anabolic quietly shapes your days, and the kinder question to ask yourself instead of comparing yourself to women who seem to have it all
• The two ancient questions, “who am I” and “what do I really want”, and simple ways to begin answering them through stillness, small aha moments, and your ikigai

Press play to find your own starting place, take one small step toward alignment this week, and open the door to the next chapter that is truly yours.

If this episode is speaking to you, take the brand new Ikigai Clarity Assessment to see where your alignment is already strong and where it may be asking for your attention, then book a Complimentary Clarity Call with Kavita to make sense of your results together and name your very next step.

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Take the Ikigai Clarity Assessment and find out which of your four Ikigai dimensions may be out of alignment.

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This podcast explores career and life transitions, helping women find clarity, confidence, and purpose through Ikigai and self-discovery. We cover navigating change, overcoming self-doubt and limiting beliefs, finding your purpose-driven career, and building the courage to start your next chapter - whether you're facing a career transition, life transition, or midlife reinvention.

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Transcript

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In this episode, we talk about alignment and why it is the one thing that will open the door between you and the life you want. Welcome to the Midlife Reinvention Podcast, a podcast helping women in career and life transitions achieve clarity on their next steps so they can transform uncertainty into an energizing next chapter. I'm your host, Kavita Ahuja, and the founder of It's My Time Now Coaching. If you're wondering what's next in your career or life, you are in the right place. Through solo and guest episodes, you'll gain practical tips, tools, and inspiration to help you uncover blocks, gain confidence, and be, do, and have what you want. I rediscovered myself after the age of 50, and I know you can too. It's my time now to help you do just that. I'm so excited you're here. Let's dive in. In this episode, you'll discover what alignment really is and why it is a force that attracts the life you want towards you. You'll discover why the people who seem to have it all are not luckier or more gifted than you. And you'll discover how to begin finding your own alignment, starting with two questions that human beings have been asking for generations. Stay with me to the end because this is where I'll give you the one small step to help you get aligned with yourself starting today. Hello and welcome back to the Midlife Reinvention Podcast. It's your coach, Cavita. If you're new here, welcome to the Midlife Reinvention Podcast family. Something brought you to this episode, and I'm so glad that you're here. And if you are a returning listener, I do not take it lightly that you've chosen to spend this time with me here again today. Let me begin with something that has really struck me quite deeply, especially in the last few weeks since I've turned 60. And that is the concept of alignment. I always kind of knew this, but it seems so so clear to me now that I wanted to share it with you today. I really believe that alignment is everything. What I mean by that is that when you're aligned with who you really are and what you really want, then anything that happens around you will not really be able to shake you. That alignment makes you steadier and more rooted and more of yourself. In fact, and I've seen it in my own life and in the lives of so many others that I've coached, that alignment with self really creates so much positive energy that it attracts those things to you that you really want. People are attracted to you, circumstances happen, things that seem like coincidences begin to appear. And it really grows from there. Many can call this the law of attraction, and I have seen it work. If you are aligned with who you are and what you really want, everything just seems to work out for you. Have you ever wondered why there are some people in the world who just seem to have it all? Everything they touch seems to turn to gold. There is an ease around them and almost an invincibility, and somehow you feel drawn to them at the same time. We tend to assume that they were born lucky or born special, that they were given something the rest of us were not. But here is what I've come to understand. What you are seeing in those people is not luck, it is alignment. They are so completely aligned with who they are and what they want that it has actually become natural to them. And it is really unshakable that alignment is what carries them to even greater heights. In my training, that invincibility that I mentioned is called anabolic energy. But it is really the highest kind or the highest level, which is level six and seven energy, which the greatest leaders of all time possess, and which quite literally has moved this world forward over generations. I'll get to those levels of energy in a moment, but another thing that I've been kind of grappling with is comparison. Naturally, as human beings, we compare ourselves to others, especially in this world of social media. But the trouble begins the moment we look at those people who seem to have it all, then look back at ourselves and think, why not me? Or even worse, what is wrong with me? I know this feeling well because I have felt it myself, and even recently I've felt it. So let me say this to you as clearly as I can. There is nothing wrong with you. The difference is that there may be a misalignment in certain things in your life that can cause us to feel negative about ourselves or our circumstances, and that puts us on a different level of this energy spectrum. Every one of us carries our own unique blend of energy, and the blend you carry today is the right one for you this moment in your life. None of us lives permanently at the one place on that spectrum. We move between these levels all through a single day, sometimes within a single hour, and that movement is entirely human. What causes us to move from negativity in our lives to the positive, almost invisible energy that these great leaders in the world have is our alignment with self. Let me just go back and describe what that energy spectrum is a little bit simply here. I'm a core energy coach, and I've been trained to understand and teach that our thoughts create our emotions, and our emotions translate into action. For example, if we have thoughts of victimhood or being a victim of something, those thoughts translate into apathy and then lethargy. We don't do anything. If our thoughts, for example, are those of conflict, they result in anger and then defiance. And these are all things that drain our energy, so they're considered catabolic. It is the energy of feeling that life is happening to us, of frustration and worry, of that heavy Sunday evening dread. As we move up the spectrum, however, the energy becomes lighter and more constructive. Thoughts of, for example, concern turn into compassion and service, and non-judgment turns into passion and then creation. This lifting type of energy is called anabolic energy. And when we are no longer braced against stress, something in us opens up, and we can finally see the possibilities in front of us instead of only the blocks. At the very highest levels or reaches at level six and seven, there is deep creativity and intuition and freedom from being shaken by anything at all. Those top levels are where the great leaders across generations have lived, the ones I referred to earlier, who have quite literally moved this world forward. Think about all the great leaders in history. What do you think they have in common? It is their energy of positivity around them, coming from their alignment with self. I wanted to share something else which is important, and that neither of these energies is good or bad. Both have their place, and catabolic energy can carry you through a genuinely difficult time or immediate danger. What matters though is whether you are living it by choice, because it truly serves you right now, or by default, because it has become what you are used to. And what lifts a person up spectrum from catabolic to anabolic energy is not luck. It is alignment with self. So the invitation today is not to reach level seven by Friday, and it is certainly not to keep measuring yourself against people who seem to be living there. Comparison, whether we're looking at those above us or those below us, only pulls us out of our own lives. The kinder and far more powerful question is this How can I move one single level up from where I am right now? What in my life feels aligned and what feels misaligned? So if the goal is to move from catabolic to anabolic energy through alignment with self, then the question becomes, how do we find that alignment? And that leads me to the two biggest questions ever posed through generations, which are these, who am I? And what do I really want? Simple questions, but they are so profound, and when we are able to answer them with even slightly greater clarity than yesterday, we are on the right path. It has become clearer to me, and this has come from my own evolution and from speaking to so many women who felt misaligned in one way or the other. There is really a great joy in finding even the smallest bit of alignment. It often arrives in the smallest ways, in an aha moment, a realization that bubbles up in the middle of the night, or a dream that you can't stop thinking about. And I'm sure you've experienced those things. When those moments come to you, don't ignore them. Those are the keys. Hold on to them because they are pointing you towards the answers to those two big questions. So, my friend, if alignment is the doorway to knowing who you are and what you truly want, how do you begin to find it? There are, of course, many paths, and no single one is right for everyone. But when we quieten our minds through, if, for example, meditation or journaling, being in nature or just being, we calm our thoughts enough to listen to those answers that are already within us. Whatever allows you to still yourself enough to listen. And for you, it could be painting or writing or working on something that makes the time go by. That can be your form of meditation. Think about what makes you calm, what loosens the tension in your body and mind, and make that a priority to do those things every single day. The earlier in the day, the better. Another way to find alignment with self is to understand your reason for being, or put another way, what makes you get up in the morning with passion. The way to understand that is through understanding truly what your greatest strengths are, what you are passionate about, what you value, and how you can contribute your uniqueness to the world. The overlap of all those four things points us towards our reason for being or ikigai. And once we find our ikigai, we become more aligned with who we are meant to be. And when we find that, our energy moves up the spectrum because we understand ourselves more deeply, and people and circumstances come to us that create more anabolic energy and more attraction, and more anabolic energy and more attraction. Just like those great leaders I spoke about in the beginning. You don't have to be a great leader in the world. You only have to be a great leader in your own life, and you can do that through alignment. It is so important to find out where you are aligned and where you are misaligned, so you can do something about it. You are unique and amazing, and you have true gifts to give to this world. It's just about discovering them and creating that anabolic energy which fuels you forward. So, my friend, who are you and what do you really want? Those are questions for the ages. And I hope that these concepts that I've talked about today have really helped you break them down a little. I want to make this even easier for you, so I thought about how it could help you figure out your Ikigai in a simpler way. And I'm pleased to share our very new tool called the Ikiguai Clarity Assessment that I've created, which is a short and thoughtful set of questions that will show you where your own alignment is already strong and where it may be asking for your attention. This is the first step towards greater awareness. And from awareness comes more clarity. I've created it with you in mind, and what will follow after you take the assessment are insights as to why you scored the way you did and what you can do about it today. You'll find the link in the show notes. Before we close, let me recap what we've discussed today. We talked about what alignment really is, and how being aligned with who you are and what you want is a thing that grounds you and begins to attract what you want towards you. We talked about the people who seem to have it all and how they are not luckier or more special than you. They're simply deeply aligned, which is why comparing yourself to them is not the answer. And we talked about how to begin finding your own alignment through those two ancient questions, through the small aha moments you choose to hold on to, and through practices like meditation and finding your Ikigai. So here's what I'd love for you to do right now This week. Don't try to change your whole life, but ask yourself one simple question. Where in my life do I feel most aligned? And where do I feel most misaligned? You don't need to fix anything. Noticing is the beginning of everything. Thank you so much for listening, and if this episode changed something in you, I invite you to share it with a friend or two. That is how these positive messages grow into the world, which has always been my hope. Until next time, my friend, remember, you get to decide what comes next. So say it with me, and say it with confidence, it's my time now.