#331: How to Use Your Energy as a Guide to Alignment in Midlife Transitions

Have you spent so many years pushing through, being grateful, and not making a fuss that you have lost track of which parts of your day are actually fueling you and which are  wearing you down?

For most women in a midlife career and life transition, the mind can talk you into or out of almost anything. But your energy tells the truth. The parts of your life that are aligned with who you truly are will lift you up, and the parts that are misaligned will leave you heavier than the task alone should ever make you feel. In this Thursday check-in, Kavita builds on Monday's Episode 330 conversation about alignment and gives you one simple, honest exercise you can run this week to finally see, on paper, where your alignment lives and where it is missing.

In this episode, you'll discover:

• Why your energy, not your thoughts, is the most honest guide to where your life is aligned and where it is misaligned in a midlife life transition
• How the green and red activity exercise works, and how to run it over a few days without changing a single thing yet
• What often surprises women who do this practice, including the real culprits behind daily depletion that have nothing to do with the work they thought was draining them

Press play to learn a simple practice that turns what you have been vaguely feeling into a clear picture of what is fueling you and what needs to change in your midlife career and life transition.

If this landed for you, take the free Ikigai Clarity Assessment to see which of the four dimensions of your reason for being is thriving right now and which one is quietly asking for your attention. It turns what you feel into a clear place to begin.

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Take the Ikigai Clarity Assessment and find out which of your four Ikigai dimensions may be out of alignment.

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This podcast explores career and life transitions, helping women find clarity, confidence, and purpose through Ikigai and self-discovery. We cover navigating change, overcoming self-doubt and limiting beliefs, finding your purpose-driven career, and building the courage to start your next chapter - whether you're facing a career transition, life transition, or midlife reinvention.

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Transcript

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In this episode, you'll discover a simple way to tell what lifts you from what drains you and what that reveals about your alignment. Welcome to the Midlife Reinvention Podcast, a podcast helping women in career and life transitions achieve clarity on their next steps so they can transform uncertainty into an energizing next chapter. I'm your host, Kavita Ahuja, and the founder of It's My Time Now Coaching. If you're wondering what's next in your career or life, you are in the right place. Through solo and guest episodes, you'll gain practical tips, tools, and inspiration to help you uncover blocks, gain confidence, and be, do, and have what you want. I rediscovered myself after the age of 50, and I know you can too. It's my time now to help you do just that. I'm so excited you're here. Let's dive in. Hello and welcome back to the Midlife Reinvention Podcast. It's your coach Kavita with your Thursday check-in. On Monday, in episode 330, we talked about alignment and about how being aligned with who you truly are and what you truly want is the thing that steadies you and begins to draw what you want towards you. We ended with one question. Where in my life do I feel most aligned? And where do I feel most misaligned? Today I want to stay with that question because the way you begin to answer it is a lot simpler than you might think. You can notice where your energy shifts and where it drains. Your energy is always telling you the truth, even when your mind doesn't. Your mind can talk you basically into or out of almost anything. For example, that you should be fine, that you should be grateful, that this is simply how things are meant to be. But the way something leaves you feeling, whether you come away feeling lighter or heavier, is really the most honest answer underneath all of it. The parts of your life that are aligned with who you truly are will tend to lift you up. And those are the times when you lose track of time, you feel more like yourself. And there's a yes in you when you're doing them. But the parts that are misaligned will tend to really drain you, and you really feel heavier afterwards and a little more tired than the task alone should ever make you feel in the first place. That lifting and that draining aren't random moods, they're information. They're the difference between the energy that builds you up, which is called anabolic energy, and the energy that wears you down, which is called catabolic energy. And you can learn more about those energies and the energy spectrum in episode 330. So many of the women I speak with have learned to talk themselves out of these signals. They've spent years being told to push through or to be grateful or to just not make a fuss. And so a whole day could pass, or even many months or even years can pass without them ever stopping to ask which parts are fueling them and which parts are depleting them. So here's your simple practice for this week. And it's one I do with my clients all the time. It's called the green and red activity exercise. For the next few days, I want you to notice, and without changing a single thing yet, as you move through your day, keep one question running underneath everything you do. When you do an activity, does that activity give you energy, or does it take energy away from you? And then make two lists. Your green list is all those activities that give you energy, whether it's conversations or tasks or the people you meet, those are the times you feel most alive and most like yourself. On the other side of the list is your red list of activities that drain you, the things that you actually dread, and the ones that leave you flat or heavy or small, or where time just seems to drag. And this is what often surprises people when they do this, because the things that you may assume are draining you may not really be the reason or the culprit at all. So many women begin certain that it's their work that is draining them. And then they discover that a good part of their work actually sits in the green activity section. And what's actually draining them is something they've stopped noticing, like an hour of scrolling on your phone and comparing yourself to somebody each evening, or a relationship that you've been tolerating for years, which you've just come to accept. You can't really know until you've seen it written down in front of you. And that's really the gift of this exercise. It takes what you've kind of been vaguely feeling and turns it into something practical that you can finally see. And by the end of the week, you'll be holding on to something real, a clear picture of those activities which increase your energy and those where it's being drained. That's where you try to increase those green activities in your life. So you put in more positive energy on a weekly basis. And that is really where the thing starts to change because you can't really shift what you haven't let yourself see. Once it's in front of you, you can start to bring a little more of those green activities into your days. And you can look honestly at those red activities and begin to ask what needs to change. You don't have to completely overhaul anything this week. You just have to see it clearly and take the first step. So let me leave you with this. On Monday, we said that alignment, being true to who you are and what you really want is what really draws the life you want towards you. And today we've seen that your own energy is the most honest guide you have to where that alignment already exists and where it's missing. Your green and red activities will tell you the truth if you're willing to look. And when you've done that, there's a natural next step that I'd love to offer you. The green and red exercises show you where your energy is going day to day, but the deeper question underneath is where your alignment truly lives. Across four dimensions of your ikigai are your reason for being. And those are your strengths, your passions, your values, and the contribution only you can make. That's exactly why I built the Ikigai Clarity Assessment to show you. In a few thoughtful questions, it will highlight where you're already aligned and thriving, and which one of those dimensions is asking for your attention. It will give you language to what you've already been feeling, and it's the first real step from awareness to clarity, which is where real change begins. You'll find it linked to the top of the show notes, and I hope you'll give yourself a few minutes this week to complete that. For now, keep it simple. Notice what lifts you, and notice what drains you, and let your energy tell you the truth. Thank you so much for spending part of your Thursday with me. And if something in this landed for you, share it with a friend or two. That is how these good messages spread. Until next time, remember my friend, you get to decide what comes next. So say it with me, and say it with confidence it's my time.