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Further Your Lifestyle
Further Your Lifestyle
EP. 218 - Are Your Expectations Too High or Is It Common Sense? | Further Your Lifestyle Podcast
#furtheryourlifestyle #podcast
Watch here: https://youtu.be/cVbF04O916E
| Further Your Lifestyle Podcast | EP 218
Join host Chris in episode 218 of the Further Your Lifestyle Podcast as he delves into the complex issue of expectations versus common sense. Chris candidly shares his personal frustrations and explores whether high expectations are the root of our disappointments or if there is simply a disconnect in understanding. He discusses the importance of clear communication, self-reflection, and aligning expectations to avoid unnecessary frustrations. Tune in for practical insights and a thought-provoking conversation aimed at helping you navigate and balance your own standards with those of others.
00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:14 Setting the Stage: Are Our Expectations Too High?
01:21 Understanding the Disconnect: High Standards vs. Common Sense
04:43 Expectation vs. Reality: Personal Experiences
06:21 Communicating Expectations Clearly
09:48 Self-Reflection and Managing Expectations
10:54 Conclusion and Call to Action
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Yo yo yo. Welcome back to the Further your Lifestyle podcast conversations on lifestyle passions and hustles. My name's Chris, I'm your host and I'm super excited to be back here having the conversation with you Episode 218 today and we're talking about a topic which it's actually been an interesting one for me personally, because I think we may actually be the victims of our own frustrations, and this is a question that we're going to talk about today which I kind of wanted to challenge myself on because I'd been becoming frustrated with, I guess, expectations and the prompt or the statement or the question or the topic or the theme that we're talking about today is are my expectations too high or is there just a lack of common sense? And this is one of those topics, or I guess, not necessarily topics, but kind of like a conversation in which, the more I think about it, I found myself thinking that maybe because of this, like, what we're going to talk about is why maybe some people may think I'm a little bit condescending, and I've realized it's not about that. I'm a little bit condescending and I realize it's not about that. I'm trying to be condescending. It's about well, what if what we or I, or what you call high standards is actually just. It's really just a high form of clarity, and what others all call too much is simply their fear of growth.
Speaker 1:But I also think there's a whole bunch of other reasons why there's this disconnect between my understanding or someone else's understanding, or the different opinions, when sometimes what we define as common sense can sometimes actually be shaped, as maybe it's just come down from your experience and not objectivity. But also we've got to ask ourselves are we actually even communicating our expectations or just assuming others are on the same playing field or in the same situation? And we also have to think about, you know, where are we potentially being way too hard on others for not thinking like us, when they're not even equipped to think like us? And that isn't because anyone's better than anyone else. It's literally because we have all come from different roots, we've all gone different experiences and we've all grown up in different ways. So therefore, for everyone to have the same understanding of just a uniformed understanding, it's just not realistic expectations versus align expectations with other people.
Speaker 1:So there's a whole bunch of different things that I want to talk about today and I'll keep it short and sweet but really just dive into it and kind of challenge myself at the same time while having the conversation with you. But before we get into it, I will leave you with this one kind of little prompt and then we're going to roll the intro is. Unspoken standards plus projected pace plus mismatched understanding equals unnecessary disappointment, and I think that's why we may be the victim of our own frustrations. Let's roll the intro and let's get into it. So if you haven't picked up on it, we're talking about, you know or asking the question is are my expectations way too high or is it just that people don't have common sense?
Speaker 1:Now, I think we expect people to just get it, and when they don't, you know, it's not because they're wrong, but because maybe they see the world differently. But sometimes we struggle to actually take that on ourselves and realize that no, okay, it's not because they're dumb, it's not because they don't have common sense, it's because we're not talking on the same wavelength. And again, I really want to make sure I'm very clear on this that this is not about a difference. That because someone has an understanding of something else and you don't, or they don't, doesn't mean anyone's better than anyone else, because it's like with anything we can learn from so many peoples of so many walks of life, and we should never take that for granted or think that we do know everything. So one of the I think, the biggest problems here is that we, instead of adapting or communicating, we spiral into this disappointment world, right, and we then get frustrated with individuals and we get frustrated ourselves, thinking why can't people understand me? Is I do I just have too high of expectations? Is this common sense? Not, you know, a normal thing, la-di-da-di-da, when really there's probably some things that we really need to think about here. So there's a whole bunch of different stuff that I just want to take you through. I'll try and keep this short and sharp, just to keep these as kind of like conversational prompts, so that you know you can go away and think about this on your own accord as well. But hey, I'm doing this just as much as you and really wanting to keep myself honest with this. So I think the first thing we need to really dive into is the whole tension between expectation versus reality, right, and there's this whole internal frustration when things you think are obvious don't land with others. I mean, put your hand up if you're here, put it in the comments below, but let me know if you struggle with that.
Speaker 1:I've been selling my house, one of my rental properties, recently and dealing with that real estate agent. There's things here that I would have just thought that would be an expectation of when doing business, of communicating with me, keeping me updated, like I haven't heard from them for a while. I follow up and they're like oh yeah, yeah yeah, but I'm like I would have thought that would have been on the forefront for that. But that's just my way of doing business, so that's the way I expect. Now, I never set that expectation, say, please keep me updated on a daily basis, all these different things. So you know, some of those things is my own fault, potentially. But also there is that maybe unstated expectation that I would have thought would be normal in such industry. So there's this expectation versus reality and the reality is is like well, if I haven't communicated those expectations, I can't just blame them and assume that they should have been doing what I expected them to deliver in terms of a service management. So I think we need to really check ourselves with that.
Speaker 1:You know feeling let down by people who don't get it, but maybe they're not even playing the same game. So you people don't know what they don't know, right? I don't know what I don't know. So how can I, you know, if I'm not doing what someone expects of me, yet I don't know what they expect of me. Is that really my fault, because I'm not up to the high standards of their expectations? And it's a good segue. Is all of this high standards or is it just clarity?
Speaker 1:And what I mean by that is your expectations may feel like common sense because they are your standard of operation. You've been doing it for so long. You've lived that life. You've, oh, you've always done it that way. So to you it's like isn't this how everyone else does it? And you know, there's a lot of times when I think people come into adulthood, that you've grown up and you've done certain things, and then you realize, oh, didn't you also do this when you were a kid? And like, no, oh, okay, so you've just had this universal understanding, or assumed universal understanding, that that's how the universe operates, right.
Speaker 1:And, to be frank, common sense is not universal. Like common sense is on the basis of what you've discovered and learned and experienced in your own journey, when others fall short of that. There's this misalignment and you've got to understand well, are you communicating the gap of this difference? Right, to make sure that the vision of what you're trying to achieve or get across is clearly obvious, right? And if you haven't done that, well then really we should not be setting expectations, especially unstated expectations, on other people.
Speaker 1:So there's this danger of expecting from others what you expect from yourself, and high-functioning people often project their baseline onto others. We try and pull people up to us without them knowing they're getting pulled into it Because it's like all right, let's just operate, let's just do it, let's just go, go, go. It's like you're good and it's like hang on, what, what? And this is especially from my background. I feel have felt this pressure a fair bit because, coming from a consulting workforce where it's kind of up or out, you're just always on the go, go, go and trying to be at this operating with a level of high functioning people and they would set myself on this bar of expectation that I'm operating at the same bar as them. But if I've never experienced that, then how am I expected to be able to do it? If no one's actually sat down and taken me through it, then it's embarrassing, it's scary to ask because you feel like, oh, maybe you're not as good enough as anyone else when they haven't welcomed that environment to be able to have that conversation.
Speaker 1:Now, I know, when I'm documenting my you know, building my business and stuff, sometimes I haven't thought about that. There's probably people that do not understand this right, because I've just assumed that maybe people have been playing along since I've documented or have the context, and that's something which I think. It's not that I'm being ignorant of other people. It's kind of like in the moment you're just talking what's on your mind, so you've assumed that the context is already there, when context setting is really important, and you know that's why, of recent, I've tried to do a lot of repeating in explaining my journey, where I'm at, in case there's new people joining, because a lot of people don't actually know you know they haven't watched from the start, and I got called out from someone saying why do you keep repeating yourself? We already know this and it's like, well, you know this, but you know this. And it's like, well, you know this, but there's another 4,000 subscribers potentially that haven't seen this before.
Speaker 1:So I've got to be mindful of that. When I'm communicating, I'm communicating to everyone and not everyone has the same information. So we have to be super careful that we're not setting others up to fail because we're measuring them on the basis of our own bar and not their own. And we then have to think about, because of doing that, what's the cost of expecting others to match our pace of thinking, and I think sometimes it creates rework, it creates frustration, people will become annoyed and it will create this misalignment between individuals. So something definitely we need to be thinking about, some other self-reflecting things we need to also consider is one where are your expectations causing resentment? Is it because they're just not operating at your playing field, or is it because you expected that this should have been basic stuff? Right and again, these are your standards and they're serving you, but at the same time, they potentially could be isolating you.
Speaker 1:So you do need to make sure, if you're not sure, ask, clarify, fill the gap. Now, that may come across in a business world as micromanaging, but it's also it's removing any misunderstandings, and I think that's super important to get that out in the forefront. Now I'll be working on this more and more because I'm hiring someone else and I need to be better at this, like communicating expectations down to the dot, like how do we do that? That's scary and it can sometimes feel like an overreach and you don't want to overreach but you also don't want to miss out on covering yourself. So how can we hold people capable without holding them hostage to the way of our own thinking? That's really what we're trying to consider here and I'm not going to harp on this any longer.
Speaker 1:I'm going to kind of wrap it up now because I kind of wanted you guys to hear it from me, because this is something that I'm working on and I think it's a really relevant topic, because I think we're all in our own different playing fields. So one yes, we want to keep our standards. Your standards are probably good, of a higher value, because they're best for you. Just don't assume others can read your playbook. That's really what we need to take into consideration. And also, we need to be super clear. Be kind and remember. What's obvious to you may not be radically clear to someone else. You may not be radically clear to someone else. So you need to make sure you check yourself before you go around and assuming that people are all on the same playing field.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to leave you with this. Have you ever been told your standards were too high, when you thought they were just common sense, right, and that's probably a prompt for you to then realize, okay, there is a gap. And that's when you need to go have some conversations, set some expectations and really work between filling the gap between you and the individuals that that's occurred on Great conversation. I think it's something that we can continue to talk about and if you would love to talk about it more, you can jump down into the comments and leave a message or share your experiences or talk about what you've done in this space. I would love to continue the conversation. It would mean the absolute world to me.
Speaker 1:If you enjoyed this, please like, subscribe so you don't miss out, and we have these episodes weekly. But if there was something here that you think maybe someone else needs to hear maybe they have struggled with this please share it with them, because that would help spread this podcast and help more people further their own lifestyles. Appreciate you being here, this podcast, and help more people further their own lifestyles. Appreciate you being here. We'll be back here next week doing it all. Again, you have a wonderful day, cheers.
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