We talked about small and medium baggage in Season 1 and now, true to our promise, we are finally ready to take on the big mama of baggage in Season 4! Let’s face it, baggage is scary and the bigger stuff is even scarier. Sometimes it’s invisible, but sometimes, when we least expect it, we look back in our rearview mirror and it's right there blocking our view! Look, nobody is saying we need to face this monster head-on, or even alone for that matter… but rather, let's take it in small steps…chipping away at it like a block of ice. And know that if you work hard at identifying the triggers and dealing with them, that ice will eventually melt away. We always believe in you, Clarity Fam, and in this episode, we have a feeling you’ll be one step closer to your best self. Leave us a review and let us know how we’re doing!
We talked about small and medium baggage in Season 1 and now, true to our promise, we are finally ready to take on the big mama of baggage in Season 4! Let’s face it, baggage is scary and the bigger stuff is even scarier. Sometimes it’s invisible, but sometimes, when we least expect it, we look back in our rearview mirror and it's right there blocking our view! Look, nobody is saying we need to face this monster head-on, or even alone for that matter… but rather, let's take it in small steps…chipping away at it like a block of ice. And know that if you work hard at identifying the triggers and dealing with them, that ice will eventually melt away. We always believe in you, Clarity Fam, and in this episode, we have a feeling you’ll be one step closer to your best self. Leave us a review and let us know how we’re doing!
Cali 0:02
Sometimes we don't know that we've got a big trunk size of emotional baggage. And we may just have to say, I see the results of something, and I'm the common denominator. So in my case, we turn around 180 degrees, and we say what is this trunk of baggage that I'm carrying that keeps creating the same situation? Welcome back to clarity cafe, our safe space to get a little clarity on life. I'm Callie and I'm here with my clarity sister Barb and today we're going to get into the juicy topic of leaving your emotional baggage at the door. And we have done a podcast on leaving your baggage at the door. And for those of you who listened to that, you might remember we promised we would get back to the subject of baggage size. So in the first podcast, we talked about small baggage, medium size, emotional baggage, but we left out and said that was a whole podcast on its own large trunk size baggage. So we're gonna dive in to what do you do if you've gone along in your life, and you recognize that you've got this huge trunk of emotional, mental, physical baggage, and it's just plaguing you, and you're carrying it with you everywhere you go. So today, we'll talk about three things. One, is the ability to recognize that the baggage is what it is, and some of the things in it. Two is how to get help and how to work with that baggage. And three is practicing how to just set that baggage down and start to get in the habit of not carrying it with you. So let's dive in. What is emotional baggage? And how does that affect us
Barb 2:01
emotional baggage, you know, we've all carry it a lot around, I used to lovingly call myself a bag lady, because I just always like to make sure I'm prepared and have things if somebody needs a snack or whatever. And so I think we get in the habit of carrying around our emotional baggage. And we don't notice how heavy it is. And we particularly become less aware of the of the baggage from our past that might be those heavy things that we've just learned, we've gotten used to the load. And in some ways, that's good, we've gotten strong, and we're able to continue to make accomplishments and be in the world and be part of community. But the first step in this whole recognizing and and leaving your baggage at the door is recognizing it. So sometimes that's like turning around and seeing it behind you. And we can get through that through observing our interactions with other people. Have you ever had that conversation where you're in a conversation with someone and scrolling along? And all of a sudden you think, am I my mother talking? Or am I my father talking like you can hear a voice from the past coming out. And there's value in that, but also Is that really your voice. So that might be one of the cues that you're carrying a lot of emotional baggage. And one of the first things to do with that is just take a look at it, how big is that trunk of emotional baggage, you might not be able to or willing or have the time right now to open it up and examine it all and try to sort it through and put it into the right packages. But what you can do right now is just see it and observe it and then ground it. Take a minute and just be like, Oh, hmm, there was a lot from that experience that I had, and that I've been carrying with me. And what a gift it is that I can see that. And maybe now I can start to just ground it, let it be walk away from it. And later be able to see some more things about it, maybe be able to talk about it with a close friend, maybe be able to, you know, share a piece of it. That'll help take some of the charge off of that all those conversations we talked about being triggered, right? These a baggage can cause these triggers. So you know, if you can first look at it, and then start to piecemeal it out. So first step, be able to be with it. And that's a Be at peace with it and feel safe and feel aware and let it be
Cali 4:33
sometimes we don't even know it exists. So if we I love this thing about 180 looking at something turning around and looking at it completely different. So maybe we don't even know we're carrying around emotional baggage. There's probably a lot of unconsciousness in there and a lot of like, protection. You know, maybe there's some denial in there so we can't even see it or don't even know what's happening. So maybe We might not know I've got this emotional baggage, but we may know gosh, every time with my friendships, I end up. Finally, at some point in the road, I end up at this point, this conflict, this thing, this issue, or any kind of relationship could be work relationships could be intimate relationships. And you can say, well, they always end up at this point, maybe it's like, I'm not trusting them, or we have a conflict. And I find myself alone again, or I find myself having to explain myself or defend myself or justify myself. And so sometimes we don't know that we've got a big trunk size of emotional baggage. And we may just have to say, I see the results of something, and I'm the common denominator. So in that case, we turn around 180 degrees, and we say what is this trunk of baggage that I'm carrying, that keeps creating the same situation. So for some of you who might be listening, what Barb was saying about noticing it, and recognizing and just being with it, to kind of really observe it and see what's in that trunk. If you were like, I don't even know if I have a trunk, that would be a tool for having being able to find out if you do have some kind of emotional baggage that you're carrying around
Barb 6:23
pattern recognition. It's so important, right? That's a survival thing, we learn to recognize patterns in nature and patterns in ourselves. And those are often the hardest to see. So another way to see those patterns, you know, these situations tend to reach a certain point and be if this is you may see that reflected back from other people, I got the same reaction from that person, as I got in that relationship. And I got that same reaction at work as I got at home. What is it that I'm bringing here, and part of it may be something that you're just just almost ready to see. And that data will help you, you might even ask someone, you know, oftentimes people will help you see those things, if you give them a chance, and just take it and have some interaction. I find seeing yourself reflected back from other people can be another way to kind of hold up a mirror. And maybe if you hold up a mirror, you can see that trunk is behind you.
Cali 7:20
Mm hmm. I love that. I love that. So then there's this thing, right? Like, maybe we've been hurt in relationships, and we just, we feel like something has happened. There's an event, there's trauma, there's something that has stuck with us. And maybe we know it's there are now we've turned around used a mirror or whatever we figured it out. It's there. We've labeled it. And now we've gone through the process of observing what's in that trunk? What are some of the different patterns and things that continue to play out? And then the next thing is to say, okay, here I am, I've got this thing, what do I do? Well, as you know, the sister podcast to clarity Cafe is a little bit of chill. And in a little bit of chill, we talk about and we teach about having a learning mindset. And clarity, we often talk about an inner voice that really is connects that learning mindset, it's that inner voice to say, I'm safe. I'm enough, I'm loved. And it's okay. And I'm going to be patient and kind with myself. And we teach about, you know, changing that inner voice, we've got lots of podcasts here at clarity Cafe about how we talk to ourselves, how we narrate and help ourselves through so many things. And so if we take that learning mindset, and that kind, loving inner parenting self, and we marry those together, then we can say, Okay, I've got this trunk. It's big, it's scary. I got some unconscious stuff in there that I'm not even aware I'm doing I've got some results here in relationships or in life that I'm not super happy about. Now, what do I do? Well, first thing is, let's allow a learning mindset to say I don't have to get through this all at once, just because I see it just because I've labeled it doesn't mean I'm done with it. So there are two ways that we're going to talk about starting to get done with it or get through it. One is to dive in and one is to step out. So the diving in looks like, Hey, I am going to need some support. Maybe that's therapy. Maybe you've had a new physical practice of running or movement or connecting deeper with friends and talking things out for some of those us that might be some kind of group therapy, community therapy, whatever it is, often it means I need to connect more deeply with myself. This is the way I'm going to do it, I'm going to connect more deeply with my community. And if I don't have people in readily in my life who can support me in this or knowledgeable about this, I'm gonna go find those people and connect to those people even virtually doesn't have to be in person. So that's understanding, maybe I need therapy, maybe I need support, maybe I need what do I need, I need to read about it, I need to talk about it, I need to just work it out. That's diving in. But then we don't need to stay immersed in it. Because part of us carrying this baggage around is a habit. Barbie, you want to talk about letting it go and just dropping the bag?
Barb 10:36
Yeah, drop the bag. It's so simple, drop the bag off the mic, drop the bag and leave it at the door. You know, I go back to thinking about you know, what a great dog trainer you are, and you saying leave it, you know, just look back at that truck. And you say, leave it, leaving it? Talk to yourself that way. So yeah, but there is an incredible amount of power in declaration. One of the things is we are meaning making machines, right? We create this, our brains create this amazing language. That's one of the things that's a characteristic of our species that we have this powerful language brain, and so do other species like dolphins. And, you know, we know that there are other species that have that have their own unique languages, but our language is so powerful. And we're kind of meaning making machines, right, we like to interpret things and examine things. So all those things get kind of smushed together. If we can just say, declare, there's so much power in standing in a grounded calm space and declaring that I'm just going to leave this, maybe I'm not going to leave this for forever. Maybe it's too hard for me to drop this right this minute and still, you know, move into all that interaction. But I can drop this right this minute. And for this moment in time when I feel safe, when I feel loved. When I feel like I'm okay, I am willing to let this go. Because it's an act of volition. And so, you know, even if it's just for a minute, let that go. And you can string together those minutes. So sometimes if I catch myself, Oh, this feels a little bit like something that happened to me when I was in kindergarten when I was five years old. This was my reaction. Oh, you know what, I don't have to react that way right now. That may come up later. But for right now I'm practicing not reacting. And I'm letting it go. Just dropping it
Cali 12:35
just dropping it. Barb, I want to just call out to because you're talking about I'm safe. And you know, we've said that multiple times. So it makes me want to say that, you know, we're gonna do a whole podcast on this. But let's go ahead and share with the community that you know, there's an app we've developed, made just specifically for healing. And for meditations and visualizations to really deeply heal our inner psyche. The name of the app is called limitless healing. And it's currently on iOS, and soon to be on Android. So if you check in, you don't see it there check back in a little bit. But this is really a space where you can go in, you can take one of the journeys that are there. And just you know, find a relaxing place, get a warm blanket, maybe even put a little eye pillow on, be nurtured. Put a good headset on or have some good speakers. And just sit down and allow a visualization allow yourself to walk through the process of one of them as I am safe to just really deeply in a core level visualize feeling and embodying feeling safe. The other is I am enough for times when you might feel like you're running around trying to prove to everybody that you're enough or prove to yourself or you're not doing enough, or if you're just chronically taking on too many things that is in there as well. And also for wellness, there's one that's called I am well, so it's just a little beta app, we'd love your feedback on it. But that's an active thing that you can do. And those are meant to be listened to over and over again, to cultivate an inner voice, and an inner healing state of being well and safe and feeling enough. So useful.
Barb 14:23
These are the most meaningful mantras that I can think of. And a lot of times if you think about a child, you don't need to explain all the reasons to them, why they're safe, you just need to hug them and tell them they're safe. And then they feel safe. And so as you were saying is we're going back and nurturing, you know, our inner psyche, our inner child, and all those times in our life, that we didn't feel safe. And we put those in a trunk that became a pretty big trunk. And so now as we start to build these new neural patterns of being safe Those things can start to lighten and drop away. And that's another sort of way that those things can resolve. And we can drop it and leave it at the door. Because it's no longer needed because we've built this new powerful, I am safe foundation to operate from. So the meditations are awesome, I'd just love to continue to, to do new ones and, and get feedback on how the limitless healing app is helping people. We've had some really great results so far. One of my favorite things I like to say about it is that my my aura ring, which gives me lots of good information about what's happening, physiologically, so it measures sleep, and you know, what your heart rate is, and your heart rate variability and, and other measurements of your state of relaxation and rest versus fight or flight. When I ever I listened to one of those apps, my aura ring always thinks I took a nap. So that means it's very restorative for me. So you can get all the benefits of taking a nap plus make some new neural pathways in just a few minutes. So look forward to following up on that with you clarity, fam. And this is the end of this podcast, but not the end of our journey toward dropping all of the things that we need to leave at the door so we can move on to the rest of our life with getting letting go of that emotional baggage. On our next podcast, we're going to talk about something that you alluded to earlier, Callie, which is the chill learning mindset. And learning to speak to ourselves in the love language and really cultivating that feeling of love and safety. So looking forward to that. In the meantime, keep your comments coming. Please share our podcast. That's what keeps us going. It allows us to make more podcasts and get up in the morning and feel super excited about the community. We love hearing your comments. We love seeing your shares. Please drop us a review whether you're on Apple podcasts or you're on Spotify, whatever your platform, those are really helpful. Share it with your friends and take what's useful. Leave the rest of it. It's a good practice of leaving things that don't serve you and until next time, be well