This is a Clarity Cafe first Fam! In this super special episode, we extend a very warm welcome to our amazingly talented friend, honorary Clarity Sister, and talented singer-songwriter Jackee Stang AKA Wolfstang. And what an epic story she has for you this week! Tune in to hear how she transformed her pain and trauma by tapping into her creativity! Yup, channeling all those badass vibes into none other than… music, writing and producing her very first album “Daddy Wounds!” We are super proud of her healing journey and so appreciative to have her showing up with us here to share how embracing that little fiery creative spark inside of us, and doing something a little differently than the norm, can jump-start us on the path to healing.
This is a Clarity Cafe first Fam! In this super special episode, we extend a very warm welcome to our amazingly talented friend, honorary Clarity Sister, and talented singer-songwriter Jackee Stang AKA Wolfstang. And what an epic story she has for you this week! Tune in to hear how she transformed her pain and trauma by tapping into her creativity! Yup, channeling all those badass vibes into none other than… music, writing and producing her very first album “Daddy Wounds!” We are super proud of her healing journey and so appreciative to have her showing up with us here to share how embracing that little fiery creative spark inside of us, and doing something a little differently than the norm, can jump-start us on the path to healing.
Wolfstang 0:00
I mean, we're all creative. And, you know, not everybody's singer, not everyone's a songwriter. But there's something in each of us. And the act of creating this EP has been the most rewarding creative thing I've done so far in my life. And so I think, where you can tap into your creativity, regardless of what it is, like you got to do it.
Cali 0:27
Hey, welcome back, everybody to another episode of clarity cafe. I'm here with my clarity sister Barb, and a new honorary clarity sister, who will stay
Barb 0:42
in the house.
Cali 0:46
What up everyone, we have an epic story for you today about transforming trauma, and pain in life experiences into a creative endeavor. It's like the Phoenix out of the ash. So excited to talk about that today. And I want to just kick it off, because what's so cool about what Jackie was saying has done is she took that pain. And she's processed it in many ways. But she did something she'd never done before, which is create an album. So Jackie, tell us a little bit about how you what was that spark in your mind that said, I know what I'm gonna do with this big baggage. I'm gonna make music we've talked
Barb 1:40
about small, medium and large size baggage is I'd say this one was a trial process.
Wolfstang 1:45
I check my baggage at the gate. Um, well, well, it, it seems simple. Now, because there's a product, there's an EP called Daddy wound coming out May 31. And it's almost finished, but never finished. As we all know. However, the the process, I mean, I'm in my late 30s. So it took just about that long to spark the the fire, if you will, about a year ago, or let's say during COVID. I took a long road trip back to Texas, and had a ukulele with me. And if anyone's done that drive, you understand how much road there is. And time. And I just started playing and picking and singing. I've been a singer my whole life. My father, who's passed the main guy and daddy wounds. He was a singer songwriter as well. So musics always been in my family, right? I was writing when I was a teenager and a young girl. But I stopped for I stopped because I received a lot of criticism from men, shockingly about singing and about creating. And I stopped to play the corporate game for 15 years. And I succeeded. And I won a little bit at that game. And into my 30s symptoms of not dealing with my childhood trauma, not getting it out and suppressing my creative fire. Symptoms of doing that started to really like pile on. I've always been a little bit sad, which is fine, but I was getting angry a lot was lashing out physically, occasionally getting violent. And I realized, well, if I want to break the cycle, and really unpack the stuff, I'm gonna have to do something. So I started a series of, you know, many things, diet, getting the gut biome, right, figuring out what was going on inside, medically and physiologically, but also did some get a lot of ketamine therapy. And I'm also lucky enough to have people in my life. All my friends and my best friends are either in love with music in the same way I am or they're singers themselves. So the last five years have been around that. So I think a combination of getting myself right, doing the work every single day being disciplined about it. Ketamine therapy helped a lot. And my good friend bar have helped a lot and and then having had having creative people around me, and then also just like, becoming real with myself about the ticking of the clock that we all know and we all here and and not being willing to be one of those people that just, like didn't do it, because it was too late or she's too old or whatever.
Barb 5:11
So I did, yikes. Well done, I just have to say, you know, I've known you, Jackie for for several years, and I've always admired your singing and dancing and your overall creativity and watching this process has been and and participating in whatever small ways that that contributed has been one of the highlights of my last couple years and seeing this, seeing this product come to fruition and seeing the creative process has been amazing and really inspiring. And so I'm super excited that we're sharing it today with our clarity family, because it's, it's an important one to recognize that we all have all these gifts, and being able to really own them as an act of courage and, and, you know, take the trauma and the baggage that we carry with us from our childhood and bring it into present time through creativity is is really a noble endeavor. And, you know, I want to give a big shout out and you know, the of the first songs already dropped, and you know, have been like, super enjoying it and seeing other people enjoy it. And so I think when the whole album comes out at the end of the month, it's gonna be a real treat for everybody.
Wolfstang 6:25
Thank you, Queen. Yeah, I, I want to say to the clarity, cafe family, I mean, on the topic of tapping into that creativity, I mean, so much of, I think what makes humans special, Homo sapiens, homo, whatever, whatever we evolved to after sapien has to do with tapping into that creativity. And it's, it's so easy to forget, when you're not feeling good, because you're unhealthy because of whatever is going on in your body. But also, because of the criticism you might receive within yourself or from people around you to not not do something. I mean, we're all creative. And, you know, not everybody's a singer, not everyone's a songwriter, but there's something in each of us. And just the act of creating this EP has been the most rewarding creative thing I've done so far in my life. And it was the first time I really had free rein, with no interruptions from a business owner or a boss or whatever to get involved in. And I think it's been wildly rewarding. And I truly believe, I mean, most people love music, right? Most people understand what that thing is. And it's also really easy to make music these days, the barrier to entry is low. And so I think, where you can tap into your creativity, regardless of what it is, like, you got to do it, to help yourself, but also help the species evolve, not to get too meta about it. But it's, it's important man like we were trying to evolve here.
Cali 8:16
There's so many great points that you just brought up that I want to go back to a couple because there's this concept about, you know, many of us have had these wounds, or these pains and things that have happened when we were younger. Some of us it's still happening. And without realizing it can really define us and limit us. And so just even the nature of separating a little bit from it and saying, You know what those things happened. Those messages that were given to me happened, but I don't necessarily have to be defined and limited by it. And I don't have to take all of that into my future. Even just for clarity, fam that might be listening to this and saying, okay, yeah, I've got this big load of baggage, multiple trunks. And I don't know what to do with and they're kind of piled all around me. The first step is just acknowledging that it's there. And then realizing that there's not a single right or wrong way to move past these things. And that healing is a process. And what I love about getting some distance and some perspective that we have a choice is we get to take that choice back that we might not have had when these things were happening. So that ability to say, Oh, I have a choice on how I deal with this. And now I want to process it. So just you know, for those of you who might be listening and if you're feeling a little squirmy because this is bringing up some fear As you know, just take a deep breath, we're here with you, we've all got them. All three of us have bigger stories that can fit into a little podcast. But I just want to acknowledge that some of this might be hitting a little bit, you know, home and take a deep breath and tell your body safe. We're just going on a mental journey and a mental conversation about how do we transform that, and I think, you know, Jackie is beautiful you have, you've got many talents, you've got music winding through, you've got the therapeutic aspect of music, you're very aware of the power of music, which is the last podcast we recorded, actually called the power of music. So this is perfect. Yeah. Um, and, and then, you know, recognizing for those of you who are listening to this story, and, and thinking, Well, I'm not into music, or I don't feel that power so much for myself, there may be other things we all process in different ways. Some of us are in therapy, some of us are finding a sport that we love doing. For me, my church for a long time was running, I was in the church, a Running Man, it was my dogs, it was being in the woods and just get lost up there with water and some snacks for as long as I could go. So. And I think what I love about your story, Jackie, is you're telling the story of someone who you talked about being in corporate and doing these other things. And so sometimes in life, I feel like we get pigeonholed into it has to be one box, you have to be a musician, or you have to be a corporate person, or you have to be a thing, a particular thing. And there's only, you know, right ways to do this. And so I want to kind of share with our listeners that resonating that? No, it doesn't. You don't have to be one thing, you could be lots of things and how we process our, our past and how we define and design our future can change. So yeah, and this is that point for you. Right? Or you just said, You know what, forget those messages of I can't do this. Right.
Wolfstang 12:11
Yeah, I mean, so many of those messages were coming from myself. And I think having a father who wasn't? Well, he was telling himself those messages. And he wasn't encouraging of me. But I mean, he didn't fit into a box, I don't fit into a box, never have never will, I mean, hit the trauma of, of losing him and my 20s the way I did, he was in jail and took his own life in a brutal, brutal way in jail, not to mention being in jail for a brutal, brutal reason, you know, that took me it happened and then took me 15 years to to get to a point where I could write songs about it in an in a way that was I think, and I hope, a little bit lighthearted. Because the way I see it, is we can have these things that are deeply painful, that are a a part of life in the human experience, but are also like, it's not fun. It's not fun to feel pain that's so deep in this way all the time. But we can feel it, and not get stuck in it. So my choice was to live in this circular idea that I had a shitty father, which is such a relatable story. And I could be angry about it. And I could blame him and be a victim, even in spite of the horrendous, terrible things he's done to other people and himself, or that he did. Or I could process it, find the lessons. And then hopefully a little bit of humor in there. So that I don't have to get stuck because I'm not gonna get stuck for him. That's not going to break any cycle for my child or for anyone around me. And so to your point, Callie about, you know, it might not be music, but this is about storytelling. And I'm using music as a medium. But that's what again, that's what we do. As humans we sit around and we tell stories. I don't know about you guys, but just getting getting the lead out getting out of the body isn't itself wildly healing,
Cali 14:21
so powerful to speak our truths, right just to be in community and speak our truth and that is a major healer of the human being. Space just humans being being in our truth being in all of it. It's just so incredibly powerful. So I just want to ask of all the songs because I haven't heard all the songs you check that quote released. What was the most fun for you to write which one was the one that you just like, ah, loved writing this and
Wolfstang 14:58
um, yeah, I know it's hard. Honestly, all of them I wrote this with a wonderful woman named SJ. And we wrote each song in a day, half a day each. So the writing process was easy and amazing. I think if I had choose wanted be Grandpa Jack, which is a Grandpa Jack was the patriarch of my family. He was a character. He wore a tall polyester suit and a cowboy hat and shiny boots and the Bolero tie and an eyepatch. The entire time. I knew him I used to clean his eyeball when I was young, because he lost his eye in the war. And, and he was a salesman and he sold me, you know, this idea of Christianity and in America in the in the 80s and 90s. And while I don't subscribe to that, mythology today, I still love him and understand why he did that. So it was really fun to play with the dichotomy of loving the character, the main character, but also not loving what the main character did. And then I mean, the whole record is really about that dichotomy of like, happiness and anger, sadness and pain, but also comedy. Me really is a dark comedy. So Grandpa Jack is like, it's super fun. And the hook is my Grandpa Jack sold me Jesus and, and we tried to make it as gospel II as we could and get a big chorale sound in there. Because ultimately, like who doesn't? Who doesn't love gospel, like choir music and that vibe of everybody singing for like a moment in time or an hour every week? There's a roomful of people who all agree on one thing, which doesn't happen ever, especially now. That's what music gives us, you know, especially live music.
Cali 17:02
That's it. Absolutely. So can we talk about bad habit? Since that
Wolfstang 17:07
was one I have heard.
Cali 17:09
What a fun story there. Oh, so fun.
Wolfstang 17:13
Oh, man. I fell in love with a clown. I really did. It was really fun.
Cali 17:19
Can I pause just for a second there to all so this song bad habit. So fun. But like, for all of us out there who have ever fallen in love with a clown. This song just resonates? It just resonates. So. Yeah. Take a moment. And exhale for all the clowns we've we've loved and let go of
Wolfstang 17:44
it. There's a few of them. Yeah, bad habit is just is, is congregating about that that experience that we all of us have had falling in love with somebody who was extremely charming, and charismatic, and funny, but falling in lust, let's say. And then the pain and sorrow that often comes along with that lustful experience which is fleeting, and doesn't tend to last very long. And he was um, he was a an eight, he went to clown schools who is an actual clown, he dressed like a clown. And he was in. He was in the music, the music scene and the production scene. And so back in the day, when I used to do gigs, that's when I met him. And we used to go backstage and hang out with rock stars, and drink whiskey and dive bars as they say in the song and, and he rocked my world and stole my money at some point, but I have a lot of you know, I got a song out of it. And so it's really, it's really again, about like taking the dip with the sorrow, but like never staying there, never staying at the bottom because, like, Why you Can't you gotta rise back up.
Barb 19:03
And one thing I love about, about bad habit and about the whole clown is that the universe, like sent you that message that humor is the way to get through that and get out of that. And it couldn't have been brought to you more clearly like in your face. Here's a big red nose, right? It's like a perfect analogy for what we're sort of looking at. Because in a way, we're all kind of clowns in the circus, right?
Wolfstang 19:30
Oh, man, are we and then I think that's what a lot of the clown behavior or the essence of a clown, that's what they're trying to portray, in a vaudevillian way or a circus kind of way. Is that like making comedy out of sadness? And always, always find the happy as my my friend, Dr. Matt Cook said to me one time find the funny and
Barb 19:54
find the funny in it. 100% and they're happy. Because at the end of the day, you know That's, that's where we end up. You know, once we kind of dig out all the, the grief and sorrow, we get to it, we get to find underneath there, the cosmic joke of it all, that we're all just in this, we're on this world for a fleeting time, no matter how long we live, and we might as well be having fun along the way. So, find that fun in your day. Even if it's just to call up your girlfriends and listen to a song. I recommend listening to bad habit. Yeah, please. Yeah. In fact, I've seen some good tiktoks about bad habit of people getting into your sock. So that's cool.
Wolfstang 20:40
Man, tick tock the whole social media thing. I don't know how healthy that is. But, you know, I know that making music is healthy and, and then marketing. It's a totally different animal.
Cali 20:51
That's it? Absolutely. Well, so for those of you listening, I got some key messages today. One, acknowledge the pain, acknowledge that it's there and also know that it's not you. It doesn't have to define you. And you get to choose whether you bring it with you into the present moment. And the moment after that, and if you're ready to put that baggage down, get help. Have a process make it your own. There will be creativity as you transform that pain into something that can fuel you and bring you joy in life. And along the way, you may find a few giggles because the most obnoxious absurd of this human life situation can be really quite funny. Find your joy and find a way of staying Yeah, daddy wounds dropping may 31 Ma'am, I think we're definitely gonna want to have you back for another podcast because I'm hearing some fun topics in there. So stay tuned clarity fam. And as always, take what works, leave what doesn't and if you hear something that is resonating with you, share it with the people around you. Change the conversation, change the vibe, and until next time, be well