Generosity : Creating a Safer, Braver, World

It seems to me that the most generous thing we can do for one another is to create safer, braver, spaces.

I’m not sure exactly how, but what about a formula that looks like letting go of as much greediness as possible, letting go of as much aversiveness as possible, and remembering we belong to one another, even in our very adversarial profession?

Transcript

Wake Up Call #357: Generosity: Creating a Safer, Braver, World

Hi everyone, it’s Judi Cohen and this is Wake Up Call 357. Today’s Call is about how generosity might be able to support us in creating safer, braver, spaces in the law, and in the world. 

I’ve been talking about generosity as the first of the six perfections, or paramitas, of heart and mind. In the past few weeks, the exploration was about generosity in offering material support, and the generosity of offering the teachings of mindfulness, which I believe we all do by practicing, and then porting our practice out into the law, and our lives. 

The third form of generosity is the generosity of offering safety. When I first studied the paramita of generosity, which also goes by the Pali name, dana, this was the type of generosity, or dana, that surprised and delighted me. As I’ve sat with the question of how dana can create safety, and done more reading, the “how” is beginning to make a little sense. 

Here’s what Bhikkhu Boddhi, the great Buddhist scholar, says, about dana, “The goal of the path is the destruction of greed, hate and delusion. The cultivation of generosity directly debilitates greed and hate, while facilitating that pliancy of mind that allows for the eradication of delusion.” 

Remember our old friends greed, hatred, and delusion? These are the Three Poisons, in classical mindfulness. Sometimes it looks like the whole world is infused by those poisons, so many people running on greed, on hatred, on delusion. And the law, too, in some ways governed by greed, hatred, and delusion.

But it still begs the question of where those Poisons come from. Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, in The Gulag Archipelago, famously wrote, “The line separating good and evil passes not through states, nor between classes, nor between political parties either -- but right through every human heart -- and through all human hearts.” If Solzhenitsyn is right, and the mindfulness teachers are right, then an exploration of the Three Poisons is really an exploration of that line in our own hearts, between good and evil as Solzhenitsyn put it, or between greed and generosity, or hatred and generosity, or delusion and generosity, as the mindfulness texts put it. 

Ruth King renames the Three Poisons “gratification, danger, and escape.” I like these names because they’re so relevant: gratification – the way, in our consumer- and growth-governed society, we look outside of ourselves for what makes us feel better, more “gratified” instead of turning inwards. Danger – the way the world feels (and is), and how we can so often react – or I can react - with a fight/flight response, which isn’t different from hatred. And escape, whether we’re escaping via our own personal flavor of delusion (Netflix and single-malt whiskey are my personal Exhibits 1 & 2), or trying to escape, or failing to see, the truth that we belong to one another. That the hawks on my hillside can only survive as long as I’m responsible about what goes into – what I put into – the water and earth.

I know all Three Poisons reside in my own heart. I want more pleasantness and less unpleasantness and I tend to do plenty of retail therapy, and in other ways look outside myself for gratification and forget that true ease comes from moment-to-moment attention. I have a real sense of danger these days, and can react with aversion, frustration, anger. And my Exhibits 1 & 2 – it’s not that I’m buried in online shows or sipping more than a “wee dram,” it’s just that feeling of needing to escape, and sometimes – although it’s harder these days, which is probably a good thing - forgetting how intimately we’re connected, how we belong completely to one another, and to the earth.

So how does generosity “debilitate greed and hate…,” as Bhikkhu Boddhi says, “while facilitating that pliancy of mind that allows for the eradication of delusion”? And how does that create safety?

Here’s what I’m thinking. If I’m more generous, what’s really happening is that I’m letting go of wanting more: more things, more external pleasant experiences, more status, money, even more time. And of grasping onto every minute as a minute that has to be productive. 

Contemplating the opposite – contemplating generosity – and lawyering? It’s interesting. What about a personal, moment-to-moment strategy of letting go of busy-ness, of breathlessness, and instead, being generous, first, with our time. If someone walks into our office, calls, writes, we relax, turn towards them, and listen with full attention, with our heart. Not also checking messages. There’s real generosity in this, I think, generosity that helps folks feel safe to reach out. 

And whatever they have to say, what about a generous attitude, too? Whether they need help, or they’re confused, or they’re afraid: making sure they don’t feel afraid to ask their questions, by being kind and asking if we can help, not judging, not being snide (even internally), not letting blame lurk beneath the surface of our words, our gestures. The generosity of this level of attunement? I think this also creates safety, and allows folks to be braver about what they’re asking, maybe even braver about who they are.

Same goes with generosity and hatred, or fear, especially if the opposite of hate and fear is love. Instead of impatience – which folks can feel, even when we think we’re hiding it, taking a moment (generosity of time) to call up our love, and be genuinely loving; or instead of frustration, relaxing and being with others, even when we have a lot on our own plate; instead of gossiping or critiquing, not speaking ill of others…at all. Instead of opposing climate legislation, getting behind it! Let’s take a moment to appreciate our Senate, for once. (Just keeping it real here, folks.) And that’s also debilitating our hate, as Bikkhu Boddhi says, and I’d say, subbing in love. Because a long life of acts of love, isn’t that also a long life of generosity? And don’t folks feel safer around love than they do around hatred and fear?  

And then all that generosity, all that letting go, all that love – it really does soften the heart and facilitate the pliancy of mind that allows for the eradication of delusion. Meaning, the mind that is present, shifts into openness, relaxation, and love, and sees that we’re completely interconnected. Which, it seems to me, has the potential to create the bravest, safest, spaces.  

Let’s sit. 

[Play the John Lennon Imagine video at the end of the Paramitas – whenever that is! (It’s bookmarked under Music.)]

It seems to me that 

the most generous thing we can do for one another

Is to create safer, braver, spaces.

I’m not sure exactly how, 

But what about a formula that looks like

Letting go of as much selfish desire as possible,

Letting go of as much aversiveness as possible,

And remembering we belong to one another?

Even in our very adversarial profession.