Welcoming This Scary Moment: Happy Halloween. Happy Almost Election.

This year it feels like there are real live goblins in the streets. 
So maybe it’s an odd time to put out the welcome mat.

But to me it feels like there’s no other choice. If we notice our internal goblins -
fear, anxiety, and concern or notice the goblins in others, and turn away,
we’re missing the chance to care.
 
If we welcome whatever we see and hear, however scary it is,
then maybe there’s a chance that no matter what happens next,
we’ll survive, because we care.
 
Go to the places that scare you, say all of our teachers. Well, here we are. 
What can we do but make ourselves and each other welcome?

Transcript

Hi everyone, it’s Judi Cohen, this is Wake Up Call 464, and it’s Halloween, in so many ways. 

How are you doing? I feel like I’m settling, then feeling scared, then settling, then feeling anxious, repeat. Doing what I can in these final days before the election – making calls, talking to people. Trying not to read too much but reading some. Listening to music and not listening to NRP so much. Gathering with friends on Tuesday, even if we probably won’t know much on Tuesday.

I’ve mentioned here that I’m also part of another community in addition to the mindful lawyering community: the jam community. Which is a different kind of community from many: very open, very welcoming, in a way that feels rare and precious right now.

One of the tools in the jam community is a particular kind of welcome. I’m guessing the jam welcome didn’t originate at the jam and is much older, but that’s where I learned it. 

It’s a welcome in a very big sense of the word. Which is not so different from our practice, in the mindfulness community. 

Because isn’t welcoming at the heart of our practice? We invite ourselves to be in the moment, and with each moment, no matter what’s here. There’s often reference to Rumi’s poem…

This being human is a guest house. 
 Every morning a new arrival. 
 
 A joy, a depression, a meanness…

Welcome and entertain them all! 

Our invitation in our practice is to welcome each moment. 

For me this is sometimes easier and sometimes harder. I’m still learning to welcome my whole self, the whole truth of each moment, even all these years along. And still, there are plenty of moments I don’t welcome, or not automatically. Plenty of moments which, if I notice them, I notice because I’m about to turn away or already have. Or I notice because I’m about to try to push something away or already have. Or to slide by, and then try to ignore the skid marks on my heart. 

What I’m learning, slowly, sometimes excruciatingly slowly and sometimes painfully, too, is that it’s better to follow Rumi’s advice. 

For example, when anxiety arises, for me it’s best to pat the seat next to me and say, have a seat, welcome. Pay attention to how anxiety feels in the body. Welcoming my anxiety feels like honoring it, and honoring it feels like making space for it, and when anxiety has space, room to breathe, then so do I, and I can see that anxiety isn’t solid, it’s transient, it’s coming and going, arising and passing away. The Tibetans talk about this as “changing the pasture for the horse,” meaning, giving the wild horse of the mind more space, a bigger pasture to kick around in. This works for me. 

When fear comes, for me it’s best to lay down and let fear course through me, noticing – without wishing things were different – the jitteriness and agitation that accompanies it. Welcoming fear like this is like welcoming anxiety: it feels like I’m honoring fear, giving it room to breathe, a bigger pasture. And it also reminds me that fear, like anxiety, isn’t solid. Fear is transient, too, coming and going. 

When thoughts about the election or anything else difficult arise, for me it’s best to lay them out like a collage and see that they’re just thoughts. And also see how much space there is between the thoughts. This kind of welcoming and honoring takes the sting out of the thoughts, and reminds me to check in with myself before I start wandering down the road, weaving stories with the thoughts.

When sorrow arises, for me it’s best to go outside and find a good place to cry. 

But it’s even better, with anxiety, with fear, with other difficult thoughts and emotions, to be grateful. Suzuki Roshi wrote, “you should be grateful for the weeds you have in your mind, because eventually they will enrich your practice.” I do feel richer when I’m aware of, and grateful for, the comings and goings in this wild mind and heart. Partly because it reminds me of the complexity of this human heart, and partly because it reminds me that Suzuki Roshi was talking to everyone. Meaning, everyone has wild thoughts and emotions, it’s very easy for to forget to notice and welcome and make space for them and notice they’re transient, just thoughts, just emotions, nothing more (or less), and when that forgetting happens, to weave them into catastrophes.

So if you’ll humor me, or humor yourselves, let’s see how this kind of intentional welcome could look, and feel. Let’s do a welcoming meditation and let’s welcome ourselves, and also each other, and whatever is here. 

And just a word about the welcome: see how it goes. If it’s a little uncomfortable and you’re in your stretch zone, maybe stay with it. If it’s too uncomfortable and you’re feeling panicked or highly agitated, shift into simply following the breath or attending to the sensations of the body. All is welcome!  

Either way, whatever you find useful from this meditation, I invite you to take with you into the next several days and weeks, taking a moment here & there throughout your day to welcome whatever is arising and passing away.  

Welcome Meditation.