Gratitude, 2025

It’s almost Thanksgiving in the U.S. so we’re supposed to be practicing gratitude. want to be doing that all the time, but it doesn’t always work out that way. Do you know what I mean?

The world is just in a difficult place, and the trickle-down effect is pretty powerful. But even so, what if we take this one week, and turn it into a practice?

And what if the practice was asking the question, over and over, all day long, what can I be grateful for in this person, right now? And in this person, and this one? And what if we forbade ourselves from answering, “nothing.” What would we find? What could we shift? 

I’m going to try it and see. Will you join me?

I’ll be off next Thursday for the holiday. See you on December 4th. Wishing you a safe and joyful Thanksgiving. 🦃🦃 

Transcript

0:08

hey everybody uh how's my sound can you hear me OK thumbs up okay thank you very much so this is Judy Cohen and this is wake up call 511 and uh we've been exploring wise mindfulness which I wanna continue to do along with the other steps on the noble Eightfold path um but since we're heading into Thanksgiving in the US today I'm gonna uh shift and explore gratitude a little bit and then I'll be off next Thursday for the holiday and see you on December 4th so I looked up gratitude good lawyer that I am Miriam Webster uh it just defines gratitude as thankfulness um but the the the teachings of mindfulness the ancient teachings they come at gratitude with a little more you know little more juice little more discernment little more juice they uh first of all they distinguish appreciation from gratitude for one thing and um and they say that appreciation is a more ordinary state of mind or heart um that arises in response to ordinary goodness it's a good thing um but it's different from gratitude um and then they say that gratitude uh only arises when three things are present uh someone says or does something that um we benefit from we we trust their motives and we realize they've gone out of their way for us so without those three elements uh the teachings say that this deeper level of thankfulness that's named as gratitude isn't gonna arise and then they also say these two people are hard to find in the world which 2 it's a lot of um question and answer uh which 2 the one who is first to do a kindness and the one who is grateful and thankful for kindness done okay so this gives us even a little bit more information tells us that kindness is a condition for gratitude and not just any kind of kindness but kindness that goes first and that benefits somebody and that's offered with a trustworthy motive or maybe we could say also a loving heart and also that requires some effort for the person uh offering it you know they have to go out a little bit out of their way and then I also wonder if generosity isn't required too because for me um it's when I feel generous towards somebody that it's possible to be truly kind and also mindfulness right mindfulness has to be part of the equation because how will we know if generosity and kindness are present or be able to summon them if we're not I mean if they're not if we aren't being mindful so one question I think we can ask is how can I be the first to do a kindness you know or more colloquially because it's a world where kindness seems to be in a little bit of short supply and then there's this trickle down effect of nonkindness um so what does it take to be the first to do a kindness right um maybe it it's as simple and not easy as remembering that we're we're not as different as we think right that we're interconnected all in this together uh in the big picture maybe that's it but also what about on the ground right in the moment what does it take to be kind first and also no matter what as his holiness instructs and for me I would say it's a decision haha um I wish it were always an automatic default and it's more of a default now than it was it once was and I know people for whom it seems like it is a default but for me it's a decision that I have to make get to make uh moment after moment and I can't say that I I make the right decision every time but at least um and this is where the mindfulness is I know the option is there right to be kind or or the opposite to to hold on to my view or my desire or my ill will right so here we are again the US Thanksgiving and at the table how do we work with being kind first right will we feel that everyone shares our views and if not you know what will we do when desire arises for them to do that or when uh ill will arises when they don't um feels like the question of the moment you know what do we do with these three qualities our attachment to our own point of view and and to being right about that view right um our desire for others to see things the way that we do and our ill will when they don't and not only big views but little ones like how should the table be set or the Turkey or the tofurky be cooked and you know who should sit where you know all the stuff that can get caught up in our our loving but also impacted hearts right or if we flip the inquiry um how can we be grateful no matter what or who um and then you know how do we let gratitude turn into kindness or turn us towards kindness so flip the inquiry right and um I mean one way I know to do that is to start with the either the easy stuff or the obvious stuff you know gratitude for whatever measure of good health we have right now and for whatever clarity of mind and sense of humor and connection and joy we have right now um gratitude for being warm enough and having enough to eat if we are and we do gratitude for our education for being able to support our families and pay things forward um and then with all of these gratitude for the humans the benefactors in our in our lives who made those things possible and if we're tempted and I'm sometimes tempted to say that we did it on our own you know can we look a little more deeply or with more generosity because when we were born if somebody hadn't been there to feed us and keep us clean and warm we wouldn't have made it so can we call to mind the people who were there in those first few years and be grateful for them you know and can we complete the what circle of kindness and gratitude by saying something from our hearts that's kind to them or about them you know I'm grateful for your sense of responsibility or humor or good judgment or perseverance or love and can we call to mind our teachers you know these are the people who who made it possible for us to grow up and learn to read and learn to get along with others and learn to calculate and write and eventually meditate and see things completely differently you know who've made it possible for us to wake up so can we can we call them to mind and say thank you thank you James and our our friends and acquaintances and colleagues even the really difficult ones can we call them to mind and see all the ways they've helped us with with loving hearts and small or or big sacrifices and can we be thankful to them and and say thank you and here we go even the really really difficult people in our lives and in the world right can we be grateful for our ability to see them for who they are and for any tiny piece of wisdom they have to offer can we can we soften our hearts but not dull our swords can we see delusion and remember we have that too or see anger and remember we get angry as well or fear can we see fear and relate can we be grateful that discerning wisdom enables us to see at least something of the truth with an open heart um one of the teachings says uh gratitude is the quality that defines what it means to be civilized so can we be civilized and also keep our powder dry okay so let's uh let's sit and we'll do a little a little gratitude practice together okay so yeah finding your posture for the next few minutes and just settling in relaxing into that posture taking a few breaths locating the breath and bringing some stability to the moment by just following the breath for a few breaths and then call to mind uh someone who's who's been really helpful in your life out of out of love out of generosity and with some effort someone who's made some sacrifice for you the most obvious but not always the easiest um your mother who carried you for 9 months gave birth to you that alone parent or other caregiver who was there for you enabled you to survive and thrive call them to mind and just open your heart and say thank you thank you and now call to mind a teacher or very dear friend or maybe a partner somebody who has been really uh instrumental in your in your life and who who's done that out of care for you out of love and uh with some effort also I'm gonna just say thank you thank you to that person thank you for doing what you do or what you did and then is there someone who is difficult for you to be grateful for or to even be grateful that they're in the world and can you explore the possibility of gratitude and maybe all it is is gratitude that your heart is able to explore the possibility is willing to not differentiate among people or maybe it's just gratitude that you that you know what this all means and are willing to be in this practice and wherever you can uh touch into gratitude let that be enough let that be enough thanks everybody take care be safe have a really nice Thanksgiving love you all