[Athlete Tip] How to Rewire Your Brain for Confidence Mid-Game

💔 You know the moment: a few mistakes, slumped shoulders, glazed eyes, and she whispers, “I just can’t today.”

🧠 Her brain isn’t sabotaging her. It’s protecting her. Negative self-talk triggers the Reticular Activating System (RAS), making her believe the mistakes are true.

⚡ The Snapback Routine – quick mid-game reset:

1. Deep breath 🌬️
2. Reset word 🔁 (Focus, Go, Play)
3. Physical cue ✋ (tap leg, snap fingers, high-five)

😊 Confidence doesn’t need fake positivity. Neutral self-talk like “Next play” or “See the ball” keeps her grounded.

🤝 Supporting a teammate also helps—eye contact 👀, high-fives 🙌, or quick encouragement 💬 shift her brain out of panic.

❤️ As a Mom: You can’t fix every spiral, but you can equip her with tools to reset, bounce back, and stay confident under pressure.

🔍 Next Step: Try our free Athlete Confidence Quiz ✨ elitecompetitor.com/athlete to discover her competitor style, where she spirals, and tools to build mental strength.

🎧 For weekly tips, listen to the Raising Elite Competitors Podcast and explore The Elite Mental Game Program 💪.

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00:00] Coach Bre shares a real-time moment from a recent volleyball tournament — the exact second a talented athlete spiraled after saying the four words that derailed her entire game.

[00:00:25] See how one negative statement (“I just can’t play today”) triggered hesitation, fear, and a full-game confidence collapse — and why our daughters’ words matter more than they realize.

[00:01:20] Learn what the brain’s Reticular Activating System (RAS) does when an athlete says “I can’t”… and how it works against her performance completely unintentionally.

[00:01:59] Discover a better mid-game response: why mistakes are normal — and how athletes can train themselves to rebound without spiraling.

[00:02:20] Meet the Snapback Routine: a simple, powerful pattern interrupt athletes inside The Elite Mental Game use to stop the mental freefall and shift back into confidence.

[00:02:49] Get examples of real reset words athletes choose (“present,” “focus,” “go,” “play,” “free”) and how pairing it with breath + a physical cue instantly centers them.

[00:03:40] Tips for staying present without pretending everything is perfect — and why the next play is always the most important one.

[00:04:23] See how physical touch (high fives, eye contact) and focusing on teammates help athletes snap out of overthinking and return to the present.

[00:04:55] Coach Bre’s core message: delete “I can’t” from your daughter’s vocabulary — it’s not that she can’t, it’s that her brain is trying to protect her.

[00:05:20] Why mindset is your daughter’s competitive advantage — and how a strong mental game can beat equal physical talent every time.

[00:05:40] Next steps for athletes who want to learn their personal competitor style and dive deeper into mental training tools.

Next Steps:

• For athletes who want to learn more about how to strengthen their mental game
• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission and leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.

Transcript

0:00

I was at a volleyball tournament recently and I saw a player completely fall apart and unravel mid-game, and I saw exactly when it happened too. She made a couple errors in a row and she went over to her coach on the bench and she said, I just can't play today. And those words I just can't play today. I think were more powerful than she realized because what happened after that, you could totally see in her body and in her play. She's like, I can't even, I just can't play today. And then this is a normally like very talented player. She's very consistent player. And every time she got set she was. Hesitating, she was tipping a little bit more than attacking and swinging at balls. She was playing it safe, which resulted in her actually making more errors. So then she was making more errors and reaffirming that thought, like, I just can't play today. So she was literally stuck in this spiral and I could see it happening mid-game. She ended up having a terrible game and hopefully she was able to recover from that. I'm sure she was. But it's very interesting as, you just notice how powerful your words are and athletes. What you say matters. Our brains are so powerful that when they hear, I can't play today, it's gonna go to work. Your brain actually has a part of it called the reticular activating system, the RAS. It goes to work to make sure whatever you tell your brain to become true. And so when your brain starts to believe something like, I can't do it, or It's not working out for me today. I just can't hit today. I just can't pass today. It's not my day. Your brain is going to cause your body to actually change its mechanics a bit so that it reaffirms that thought and that belief that you have. So here's how it could have gone a little bit differently for this athlete. Now, we're not saying that you don't have bad moments in games where you don't make mistakes or you're perfect all the time. That's. That's impossible, right? You're going to make mistakes. You're gonna have little dips in your performance, but when that happens, how you respond and what you say determines how the rest of the game is going to go. So instead of saying, I just can't, or it's not my day, or I can't figure this out, because that's actually what's just gonna continue to happen. One of the things that you can do, and one of the things that athletes inside our program, the elite mental game do, is they do a snapback routine. So this is basically allowing you to have what's called a pattern interrupt. Okay. A pattern interrupt is like, the pattern that's happening right now is that you're just. Repeating the same bad play over and over again, right? You're trying not to make errors and so you make more errors and then that just confirms this negative thought that you have. When you do a snapback routine. It's very simple. It's a combination of a deep breath, a reset word. So this is found based on best past playing experiences. So some examples that athletes have are like present focus. Go play fun free. Sometimes it's a funny word to just help kind of help'em snap out of it a little bit. And on the exhale they're doing some sort of reset signal, so it's like. Snapping a finger, adjusting a hair tie. Some of my athletes, I coach volleyball, they walk to the sideline of the volleyball court and put their foot on the sideline and then walk back to serve, receive. So something simple to help them like in the present moment. Kind of get back to what they're doing and that helps their brain not go into this spiral. So I challenge you to come up with your own snapback routine. If you don't already have, maybe it's just a breath and a reset word is a really, great thing to help you kinda get back in the present moment. Okay? Another thing that you can do is just have some sort of mantra that you come back to. You don't have to be overly positive. You don't have to be like, it is, I'm having the best game of my life, because that's a lie. And your brain's gonna also recognize that as a lie. What you don't wanna do is just hang on to this I can't statement, because again, your brain is just gonna focus on that and it's gonna make it true. So maybe it's, you know, I'm here. That's a very simple, like very neutral, phrase. If you're like, well, what is that? I'm here just means like, be here. It doesn't matter what happened in the past, it doesn't matter what's gonna happen in the future. All you really have is this next play. So I'm here, or be here is really. Great. Other things that you could tell yourself is just focus on the next play. All right. Just focus on what I need to do in this moment. That's not future thinking to where it's gonna worry you. It's actually narrowing your brain in on what you need to do. So maybe it's angle your platform on this next play. Okay. Also, physical touch is really powerful as well. If you've played a team sport like high fiving, one of your teammates coming in to make eye contact with a teammate that can help you bring you to the present moment. I love, you know, when I was an athlete and, you know, I was having maybe some off moments, instead of focusing on myself, I tried to focus on my team. And you know, how can I be an encourager and just kind of get yourself out of your own brain to stop worrying about what you're doing and start encouraging somebody else on your team. That's another really great way to like kind of get you out of that. But if you take anything from this episode, erase the words. I can't from your vocabulary when you're having a hard time because it's not that you can't do anything, you are totally capable. You've done it before, you can do it again. It's just that your brain is trying to protect you. And it's trying to pull you down into the spiral and it's not helping you. So athletes, I hope that this is helpful. If you wanna learn more about how you can train your brain to really give you a competitive advantage, because in that situation, my team had the competitive advantage. I was playing the other team. I saw this girl go over to coach and say, I can't. And I'm like, Hey, we've got. We're good. We've got the advantage right now because our mindset is strong. Theirs is not, and you will always, always outperform somebody of equal talent if you have a stronger mental game. So if you wanna learn more about this, you can follow along on the podcast. You can also. Head to our website@elitecompetitor.com slash athlete and there's a cool quiz on there where you can learn about what your competitor style is. You can learn a bit about our program. So that is a great place to start. All right, athletes. I'll see you in the next Athlete Tip episode of the Raising Elite Competitors Podcast. We drop these about once a month so that you get some really tangible tools to help you along your sports journey.