How to Get Your Daughter to Work on Her Mental Game (3 Easy Ways to Start)

💛 You know your daughter needs help with the mental side of her sport, but every time you bring it up, she shuts down. Here's how to start the conversation without triggering an eye roll.

 🎯 FREE Training for Sports Moms: https://trainhergame.com

👋🏼 Hi! I'm Coach Bre, a certified mental performance coach, former collegiate athlete, and 4-time state championship volleyball coach with 14 years of experience. I'm also the co-founder of The Elite Competitor and have worked with over 5,000 girl athletes to strengthen their mental game and confidence.

In this episode, I'm sharing three strategies that actually work to introduce mental training to your daughter in ways that spark curiosity instead of resistance. These are the same approaches that have helped thousands of athletes get started with mental training (and 90% of them jump in right away).

What you'll learn:

• The biggest mistake moms make when bringing up mental training (and what to say instead)
• How to connect mental training to what SHE wants, not just what you're worried about
• Why elite athletes like Simone Biles work with mental performance coaches (and how to use this to normalize it for your daughter)
• The secret to getting her on board when she won't listen to you 

Whether your daughter is 11 or 18, plays any sport, and whether she's struggling with confidence, nerves, or bouncing back from mistakes, this episode will help you bridge the gap.

🕓 Key Moments:
00:00 Introduction: The Challenge of Discussing Mental Training
01:15 Strategy 1: Connect Mental Training to Her Goals
04:14 Understanding the Three Pillars of Athletic Success
06:41 Strategy 2: Show Her the Best Athletes Do This
08:32 Strategy 3: Let Someone Else Do the Talking
10:42 Additional Resources and Tools for Parents
12:09 Finding the Right Age to Start Mental Training
13:11 Recap and Next Steps

💬 Let's stay connected: Comment below and let me know what the hardest part about supporting your daughter is right now?

📌 Free Tools & Next Steps
🙌 What's Your Competitor Style Quiz (to send your athlete!)
💜 Conversation Guide w/ Scripts to Bring Up Mental Training
🎯 FREE Training for Sports Moms: https://trainhergame.com/mom
📺 Raising Elite Competitors YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@RaisingEliteCompetitors
📺 YouTube Playlist for Athletes: https://www.youtube.com/@AthleteMentalEdge
🎓 The Elite Mental Game (our self-paced mental training program): https://elitecompetitor.com/emg

🔔 Subscribe for more mental training tips for girl athletes

⬇️ P.S.

• 70% of young athletes quit sports by age 13, often due to pressure and loss of enjoyment (National Alliance for Youth Sports).
• Athletes who use mental skills training show a 55-80% improvement in performance outcomes compared to those who don't (Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 2018).
• Over 85% of elite athletes work with sports psychologists or mental performance coaches as part of their training regimen (American Psychological Association). 

The Raising Elite Competitors YouTube channel is hosted by The Elite Competitor and is dedicated to helping sports moms strengthen their daughter's mental game and confidence in order to help her perform her best when it matters most. 

#mentaltraining #girlathlete #sportsparenting #athleteconfidence #sportsmom

Transcript

0:00

All right. You know that training, the mental side of the game could be. A total difference maker for your daughter, but every time you think about trying to bring it up, you are worried she's gonna shut down or roll her eyes or tell you that she's fine. She doesn't need it. Even though you can see her spiraling after mistakes a little bit too much, getting way too worked up before big games and telling you that she's not good enough. Way too many times. So you're like, yeah, no, this would actually really benefit you, but how do you bring it up? I know that it can be a little bit tricky as a mom, so we're going to talk all about it in today's episode because here's what I need you to know. From the very beginning, we've had over 5,000 athletes go through our mental training program. The elite mental game and 90% of the time these athletes jump in and they get going right away and they start learning these tools, applying them to their sport to practice competitions and they can see the difference that it's making in their sport and so can their parents. So it is absolutely possible. I see this happen every single day with athletes in our community. So how do we get her to say. I'm in and I'm ready to go. So I'm gonna give you three ways to introduce mental training to your daughter that actually work. Ways to help her get curious instead of defensive and ways to connect it to what she already cares about, not just what you are worried about. Because here's the thing, she doesn't need to be convinced she's struggling. She already probably knows that, and you do not wanna bring that up. Okay? What she needs to see is that there's a clear path forward and that this actually will work for you. And her. Alright, before I dive in, I'm Coach Brief. I have not met you. I am the host of the Raising Elite Competitors podcast and the co-founder of the Elite Competitor. We are most known for our mental training program, the elite mental game that, like I said, has, uh, had thousands of athletes come through and start transforming their mental game in their sport and in their life. But before we jump into these tips that I'm gonna talk about today, that will help you start that conversation with your daughter all about how to work on her mental game, I wanna give some shout outs too. Some of the athletes who are doing the work in our program right now, I was actually in the portal, meaning, um, as athletes go through our self-paced program, they watch three to 15 minute videos from me where they learn a concept and apply it to their sport. And then they also comment in the portal and I coached them back. So I was just inside the portal responding to athletes, and they were talking about their wins that they have had. And I just wanna read some of them to you because I was getting excited about it. Um, Avery said, I've been so stressed about my sport lately, but using these tools has really lifted a weight off my chest and I'm playing more confidently. And Brynn said, I'm way more confident than I used to be before I started this mental training. I'm so, so happy. Eva said I can snap back more quickly than I've ever been able to. Hayden said I am much more confident and way less in my head lately, Isabella said, I know I've been less. Of a perfectionist and I've been getting better at being more optimistic. Okay. Um, and last one I'll read to you. I mean, there's a lot in here, but it was from Sadie. She said, I know I've grown as an athlete because I did not have a great game this weekend, and I still stayed steady and was great in other areas of the game. I didn't get too flustered and I didn't start to shut down in. All areas of the game. So I wanna give a shout out athletes. Um, I know you're probably not listening, but maybe your parents are. Um, I'm just super proud of you and the work that you've put in and for really working on this side of the game because it makes, makes a huge difference in your sport, but also in every other part. Of an athlete's life. Okay. So, um, one of the most common questions I get is how do I get my daughter to actually like, be interested in this, um, actually do the training because she doesn't really like to listen to me. Okay. And I get it because you're battling like that resistance, but also the teenage instinct to reject anything that sounds like a lecture from mom. You already know this to be true. Okay. But as I said, we've worked with. Over 5,000 athletes directly in our program, and most of them get going right away because they actually hop on a kickoff call with me as their first step in the program. I'm gonna talk about that in a little bit, and it's really great because they get to meet me, meet the other athletes. I get to do the talking about the program. And so it's another voice coming in to talk about the benefits and get them excited. I'm actually about to hop on one of those kickoff calls right after I record this podcast episode, which is pretty cool. But, um, before I like dive into why that's one of the strategies that we have, there are a couple things that you can do. The first strategy that you can do with her is to connect it to her goals. This is probably one of the most powerful approaches because, um, it's the one I recommend starting with because it is really all about her. So instead of saying, I think you should work on your mental game, ask her what's. One thing that you wanna get better at this season, or what's one goal that you have in your sport? And let her talk. Let her tell you. Maybe it is making varsity, maybe it's starting, maybe it's not getting so nervous before games. Whatever she says, that's your opening. And so you say, okay, if that's your goal, let's talk about what's standing in your way right now. Is it physical skills or is it more about staying confident and focused under pressure? Um, and nine times outta 10, she'll say something around mental, right? She'll give you a little bit of an opening there, and that's when you say, well, what if we found a way that we could train that part of your game as well? Like, just like you train your physical game, we could also train. Your mental game and you know, would you be open to that? So that's not you telling her that she needs to fix something. You're connecting a solution to what she already wants. And here's the magic around this. When she realizes that mental training is the bridge between where she is and where she wants to be, she'll actually want to do it because she has a little bit more ownership in it. Okay? And for those athletes that do want the edge, like they want to make varsity or they wanna play their sport in college or things like that. Those are the things that really separate athletes because at a certain point the talent becomes very equal and everybody's putting in the work and everybody is good. And the mental game is really what separates those athletes who go further or perform really when it matters. The other thing is that sometimes athletes don't even really know what mental training is, and that's part of what I explain on this kickoff call that I do with them is that. In order to be good at your sport, you need three things. You need knowledge of the sport, physical training and mental training. And a lot of athletes are putting in the physical training and they know a lot about their sports. Either their, you know, sport iq, they're talented, they put in the work, right? Um, but they don't really dedicate any time to the mental side of the sport. And we say that this is like a multiplication problem. We need all three of these things in order. For like you to reach your potential, but they also amplify one another. So if one of these things increases, then they all increase just like a multiplication problem. But if you put a zero into any one of those factors, then you will never be the athlete that you wanna be. And we see that a lot with athletes who are putting a big zero into the mental training side because they don't know how, they don't have the tools. And I tell athletes it's tools like how do you perform under pressure? Uh, like how fast do you come back from a mistake? What's your self-talk like? How much do you believe in yourself? Like all of that will be your ceiling, and if you don't have the tools like the best athletes do, then you'll really never be able to reach your potential. Okay? That is way number one, if you will. Okay. Strategy number two is. Show her that the best athletes are doing this. So your daughter probably has athletes that she looks up to. Maybe it's a college player or it's Olympian, or maybe it's someone on her club team or somebody who recently with a division one school or something like that. So find out who she admires and then show her examples of those athletes actually working on her mental game. Because they do, all of them do. If you are actually to look up, you know, any of these athletes and just say like. You know, Simone Biles mental game or something. You'll find a quote, you'll find a video. Something about them talking about how important the mental side of the game is, about their routines, about their self-talk about visualization and. All of that and how that helps them in their sports. So, you know, you could bring this up like, hey, I was reading about, you know, the athlete she admires, I had no idea that she actually works with a mental performance coach or a sports psychologist. Like that's pretty cool. And then just leave it there, you know? And maybe you talk a little bit about like, do you, have you ever heard of that before? And your dad just like planting the seed, you're normalizing it. You're showing her that athlete mental training isn't just for athletes who are struggling, in fact. It's for the athletes who are serious about being great. And then a few days later you can circle back with, Hey, you know what I've been thinking about? If you ever wanna try something like that, we do have a way you can do that. You're not pushing, you're really inviting her into it. And we have a lot of examples of athletes on our website. If you go to elite competitor.com/, we also have a champions board, um, which is pretty cool. I will put that in the show notes and it just shows examples and stories of all the athletes who have been through our program. Um. And they submit wins every month. And these are athletes that play all different sports, all different levels. And so she wants to see just what it's like. Um, or not what it's like, but like examples of other athletes who are talking about this side of the game. Um, and that's a great way to do it as well. Okay. Strategy number three. Let someone else do it. AKA me, I'll do it for you. This is really the secret sauce. So sometimes the best way to get your daughter on board is just to let someone else talk to her about it, because here's the truth, she probably is going to hear it better from a coach or someone else than her mom. I know it's frustrating because that other person can be saying exactly what you're saying, but. Because it's somebody else. All of a sudden she's listening. And so that's why, um, athletes who join the elite mental game, uh, you know, parents sign, sign up or enroll and sometimes they, they don't even tell this sounds bad, but like, it's, it's not bad at all. They, uh, will have parents all the time, you know, enroll in the elite mental game, but not add their athlete yet into the program because. The first step is to come on a kickoff call with me. And on that call, like I said, I'm about to do one in about 15 minutes. Um, I just get the athletes excited about what mental training is. I talk about how the best athletes do it. I lead them with a little mental training tip that they can use in their next practice or game. Um, I talk about the program, I'm like, some of you are like, Hey, this is really cool. I'm excited to get started. And we just make sure the athletes are good to go. So they come on a 30 minute kickoff call with me. And it's really great just to have the athletes get bought in and get excited right away. And that's their first experience in the program. And one of the things about our program, the Elite Mental Game, like I said, it's our self-paced, um, mental training program for girl athletes. They log in from any device. We also have an app for them as well that they can choose to go through the program with. They complete these really short videos. They apply it to their sport, so it's really easy. But the other cool thing about it is that you have a 14 day money back guarantee. So you can join the program, join a kickoff call. And we give you that 14 day money back guarantee. If you're not seeing results within 14 days, you get all of your money back. And so we're so confident about this program that when athletes enroll, they come on a kickoff call with me and they meet the other athletes. It really is a great way to start the program and athletes are just. Fired up after that and they get going right away. So just know that that is there so that you can experience all of it risk free. Now, I also have a resource for you that you can use. I will leave that in the show notes as well. This is called, it's our Conversation Guide, and this just has tips that you can use to bring mental training up with your daughter. It also has a really cool quiz in there if she wants to take that. So we've designed a quiz for her to learn all about her. Competitor style. And while she learns, she also learns a little bit about the elite mental game. So it just gets her exposed to that. Um, the other things that we've got in the works, by the time this episode airs, it might be up, but we. Um, for those athletes who are on TikTok, you know, that's not everybody. We have a lot of middle school athletes and so I hope they're not, you know, on TikTok yet. But, um, we are starting an athlete TikTok as well, just to give athletes little nuggets of things, get them exposed to like, you know, who the coaches are inside the elite mental game. And, um, just get them exposed to what mental training is. So that's another resource that. We have for you, um, just to share our TikTok page. Um, the other thing that we have that I'll link in the show notes as well, is we have a little playlist on YouTube that you can send your athlete. There's a few videos in there. They're very short from me where I speak directly to the athlete and I just. Talk about some tips to help them in their sport. And so it's a very helpful way to get them exposed to how these tools can really help them. So you can shoot that link off to her and just say, Hey, I came across this. This is Coach Bri. She works with athletes. She's also a four-time state champ coach. Um, and I just stumbled upon this. It might help you. So those are other just light ways to kind of help her get exposed to the idea of mental training. The other question I get a lot when it comes to bringing this up is, what is the right age? The athletes in our program specifically are between the ages of 11 to 18. We've had as young as eight. So if your daughter's on the younger end, then it's probably because she's in, you know, maybe a more pressure-filled sport, or you're starting to see some of these things like anxiety or nerves before a game and beating yourself up a little bit earlier. So you wanna give her these skills. Or you wanna be proactive because there's a whole parent side to our program. And so you wanna learn how to be the best sports parent for her and not have to wait like three or four years down the road and think, oh, I wish I would've known that. So there's um, you know, parents of younger athletes who join the program all the time, but 11 to 12, it's really a good. Starting place. Um, if you are thinking about your daughter joining our specific program. So that is my recommendation. Um, if she is in high school, um, especially if she's a junior senior, if she's not training her mental game, she's probably falling behind athletes who are, so that, I'm just being honest. I also coach high school, but I see the difference in athletes who have these mental training skills and don't, we do train my exact, um, program with my team and we've won four consecutive state championships. And I will tell you that mental training. Did not hurt us to get all the way there. Just some ideas for you to think about and also resources in the show notes for you. But to recap three ways that you can bring this up to your daughter. First, connect it to her larger goals. Number two, show her examples of athletes who are working on their mental game because it really is the best athletes that are. Doing things like this to give themselves a competitive edge. And number three, let me do the talking. If you are considering joining the Elite mental game, um, she will join a kickoff call with me, first thing, and I will do all the talking for you and get her excited, but then also send her our YouTube playlist, send her to our TikTok channel, um, send her to the athlete quiz. These are all just really great ways to get her warmed up to what mental training is and what she'd be experiencing inside. The program that over 5,000 athletes have experienced to date. So I hope this is helpful. Moms, before I go, I also wanna let you know that at the time of this episode airing, we have some exciting things happening in our community. We've got a what to say challenge happening next week. We've got some live trainings as well, so I. Make sure that you are connected, um, in our community by grabbing one of the links below so that you are all in the loop of all the fun things that we are doing as we start the new year. All right. I'm Coach Bree. I'll see you in the next episode of the Racing Elite Co Competitors podcast.