280 ~ Discovering Strength When Life Goes Wrong

Hello Magical Human & welcome back to Madison Mindset the Podcast 🧚🏼

episode overview:
- the importance of resilience and acceptance in tough moments 
- expectations versus the reality of life's unpredictability 
- tools for embracing challenges with peace and gratitude 

Navigating life’s ups and downs is an inevitable part of the human experience. Join me for a chat about finding peace even during chaotic times. Inspired by Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s profound quote, we dive into the art of embracing challenges and the lessons they impart.

"It is easy enough to be pleasant when life flows by like a song, but the man worth while is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong." - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Check out the practice version of this episode on Patreon now (link below) 🪬

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Madison Mindset xx

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Mindset Growth
• 8:00 Exploring the Poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
• 30:00 Understanding Life's Impermanence and Embracing Change

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Hello Magical Human and welcome back to Madison Mindset, the podcast. In this episode, we are going to have a very brief chat about a quote well, a poem slash quote that I heard yesterday and I think it is such a good teaching. I originally heard it from Ajahn Brahm, which is one of my teachers. He is a Buddhist monk. It is not his quote, but he taught it to me, so I am going to share that with you because it's quite beautiful and it really does highlight everything about dealing with challenges in life and how you can do that with peace. So we're going to jump into that because I think that is a beautiful thing to chat about on a Friday. If you're listening to this on Friday, but, yeah, it's a great reminder and you know, if you're having trouble getting through life at the moment or you feel like you're, you know, always really sad or miserable or having a rough time enjoying your life and you know dealing with the life experiences and the challenges that come up, then this is going to be a teaching that will really sit with you. Let's jump in. Hello Magical Human and welcome to Madison Mindset podcast. My name is Madison, I'm a yoga teacher, a mindset and spirituality coach and a complete earth fairy. I see a world that is peaceful and easy to live in, humans that are awakened and enlightened towards who they are and what life truly is and why we are here. I understand life can be really hard. I've had a huge journey with anxiety myself. I understand what it's like to feel overwhelmed, overworked, stressed and frustrated within this earth. It is this journey that led me to begin my own growth journey, and it's only through those struggles that I was able to birth this podcast, so that you can have the tools and techniques and knowledge to help you step forward and be a being of light, a magical earthly being who's grounded, supported, who takes on challenges with love and embraces the lessons that each day brings you. Are that being. I am here to walk you there. You will find many different kinds of episodes through this podcast. All are created in the moment and with love for you. Find the one you need for this moment and enjoy. Take a moment for yourself, sit down with your journal and tune in.

Speaker 1: 3:16

Welcome, let's begin. So the quote is by Ella Wheeler Wilcox. And yeah, it goes. It is easy enough to be pleasant when life flows by like a song, but the man worthwhile is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong. Worthwhile is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong. I will read that again, but I will put it in the show notes below if you'd like to check it out. It is easy enough to be pleasant when life flows by like a song, but the man worthwhile is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong. So that quote, you know it is really beautiful because it really shows like teachings in Buddhism, teachings in yoga, teachings in all kinds of different teachings and spiritual work and philosophies, you know it really highlights the whole point of working on your mind and changing the way the mind functions.

Speaker 1: 4:47

You know the mistake that so many people make and one that I made for many, many years, and one that many people make and continue to make, and it is not an easy mistake to stop making, but it is still one that is relevant. We go along in life without expectations. Our wants, our desires, we want everything to be our way. When life is that way, which is rare, we're very happy, very pleasant. You can always tell when someone's having a good day, when things are going their way, you can tell. You know they treat people differently, they're kinder, they're more patient. You know they're just. They're just nice people.

Speaker 1: 5:28

And then if they're having a bad day, when life is not going the way you want it to go, when it's not going according to the plan, people are miserable. Miserable and we complain. We complain life should be this way, life should be that way. I should be prettier, I should be taller, I should be smarter. I should have done this by now. I should have done that by now. I wish I did more travel, I wish I had more of this. All the complaining right. And then we are miserable and we are suffering, and it causes people around us to suffer. Okay, so this is a mistake that you're making, because this is not the reality of life. Okay, it doesn't even make sense.

Speaker 1: 6:08

The life we're expecting is one that sounds something like this You're born, everything is given to you because you deserve absolutely everything. All good things. No bad things ever happen. You are gifted with everything. Not one challenge, only perfect relationships, only perfect financial situations. Everything comes to you as you want it, when you want it, because you are oh so deserving. That's the life you're expecting. But that doesn't even sound real. It sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? We are all deserving of living. Why? Because you're alive today. You're alive, you deserve to live. But what is the life we're living? It's not the one I just described. You weren't born into a fantasy land where everything goes perfectly your way all the time. You're born into life on Mother Earth where there are many seasons, where there is a divine balance, ups and downs, lows and highs, left and rights, right.

Speaker 1: 7:18

You are born into a world that is creating, morphing, evolving, changing constantly, and all of your little desires that come up are not always going to be met perfectly, because that's not realistic. You know, there are so many people out there who want that same job, who want that same money, who want that same partner. There are so many people. Why are you the only one who gets to have everything they want? And you might say, no, everyone should have everything that they want. Can you imagine the world if everyone had everything that they want? It would be a nightmare. Everything that you want is not necessarily the right thing for you the things you desire, the things you want. They may not necessarily be the right thing, even if your intentions are pure, but can you imagine some of the people in this world who are incredibly selfish and seem to have no guilt and just act on what they want. Can you imagine if they had everything that they wanted? What a disaster would that be?

Speaker 1: 8:21

Okay, so you have to assume that everyone is worthy of living, but you're living in a life and in a world that is evolving and changing and growing and being birthed and dying and going through that fluctuation again and again and again the cycle of life. You are now a part of that because you're on this earth listening to this podcast. If you can hear these words, I know you're part of this flow. You have no idea how long you've got here. You have no idea what's going to happen. You have many desires. You have things you really do want, things you really don't want, but these things are part of the ego. They're part of your sense of self that you're creating.

Speaker 1: 9:02

You know I want heaps of money. I want this, I want that. You know to expect to have a perfect partner is unrealistic. To expect to have all the money in the world is unrealistic, because even people who do have all the money in the world, they still want more money. It's never enough, right? You can't expect to have perfect health all the time, you can't expect to have perfect friends and perfect family and everyone around you all the time. We're taking it all for granted. All of these things are impermanent your relationships, what you love to do, your body, the seasons, everything is impermanent.

Speaker 1: 9:39

That's why I'm always talking about nature as a teacher, because nature is constantly in a process of this change, of this born and dying cycle, you know, constantly showing you through the seasons, through the plants that become in season out of season, in season out of season, through the animal shifts. You can see it all right in front of you. And if you go up to a tree and you decide, you know what, I'm just going to snap this branch on this tree, you will not see the tree complain, it will still be as peaceful as it was before you took that branch from it. But you can imagine, imagine if a human went up to you and said I'm just going to take that off you, you don't even have to take a limb. If a human went up to you and said I'm just gonna take that off you, you don't even have to take a limb off a human, you just take their belongings, their money. You take something that's not even attached to them and that's enough, because that causes more suffering than a tree losing a limb. Goodness you know, imagine if we lost a limb. You know, we are so attached and so set in what we want and what we deserve that we miss the point of life.

Speaker 1: 10:50

And in this poem. You know it is easy to be pleasant when life goes by like a song. So what does that mean? When life is going by exactly as you want it to, everything is happening exactly as you want it to. For the short period of time that it happens, you're pleasant, you're nice, you're kind, you treat people with kindness. You wait for a pedestrian at the roundabout or at the lights or whatever it is. You know you are more patient, you're nicer with your children, you have more fun. That's easy. Everyone is pleasant when life is going well. Everyone is more pleasant on Saturdays than they are on Mondays. You know that's easy. It's so easy to be nice when life is going like that. But we all know that that doesn't last. The good times don't last, but neither do the bad times. The bad times don't last either.

Speaker 1: 11:48

So the other side of this poem, which is the really important part the man worthwhile is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong. So what do most people do when things go dead wrong, really bad or not? According to the plan, they are miserable. Miserable because their beliefs are wrong, you believe. If this is you, you believe that everything should be going perfectly. None of the bad stuff should happen to you, it only happens to other people, and life should be easy and fun for you. You believe that everything should be going perfectly. None of the bad stuff should happen to you, it only happens to other people, and life should be easy and fun for you, which, when you hear it, it sounds ridiculous. But if you're behaving that way, if you're struggling when life is doing what life does and sometimes it goes this way and it goes that way if you're suffering because life isn't going the way that you want it to go, then you're assuming that life is something that it's not. Life is not here to provide for your every need. Life is here to be lived. Live it. It's a challenge, it's an experience.

Speaker 1: 12:57

And let's be honest, what good book or good movie only goes well for the characters involved? Would you watch a movie or read a book that was literally all the characters receiving everything that they want, no challenge at all, no learning, no growth. Would you watch something like that? I don't think anything. If you know of a movie like that, that's done well you, let me know.

Speaker 1: 13:26

The whole idea of creative writing, of books, of all these movies you know. The whole idea is to create characters, make them go through something. Often it's quite horrible things that most of us wouldn't even dream of going through. And then it's resolved happily, happily, ever after, right? Sometimes not happily ever after, sometimes life just is how it is. But all of the movies and books that you enjoy, I guarantee you they have some kind of plot. Why would you want to live a life that wasn't going to be rated well in the movies, that has no ups and downs, that has no highs or lows, it's just plain. Why would you want to live a life like that? Be boring.

Speaker 1: 14:14

Imagine waking up every day and going, oh, what's the point? I already have everything I want anyway. If I want anything more, it'll just come to me. What's the point, seriously? What is the point? Okay, the reason you know that life feels good when it's going well is because you know what it's like when it doesn't go well or when it's going another way. You've got to have that balance to have the good Okay. So it's important.

Speaker 1: 14:38

So the man worthwhile is the one who will smile, who won't scream, won't get angry, won't shout, won't fall into jealousy or guilt or frustration or blame or victim mindset. They'll smile because this is wisdom, this person who smiles when everything's going dead wrong. They understand that it's impermanent, it's not going to last, it will change, life will change again. It's fine, it's completely normal. There's no point losing yourself over it, there's no point taking it to heart, there's no point making everyone else suffer because you're having a bad day. There's no point. It's wasted energy. Best thing you can do is smile and then, from a calm state, you'll either be able to sit with the discomfort until it passes, if there's nothing you can do, or you'll be able to have some peace and clarity so that you can step forward and work through the problem with ease and grace.

Speaker 1: 15:41

This is an important teaching, and I am going to write this poem down in my own journal, maybe even on a card, and have it somewhere on the mirror or on the fridge or something like that, because you never know what each day is going to give you. You never know what's coming. There'll be a mix of both of these, of ups and downs, because that's what each day brings. See if you can work on enjoying when life flows by, but by like a song. That's gorgeous. Enjoy it. It's working out for you Brilliant. Enjoy, but remember that's the easy part. The man worthwhile, like the human worthwhile, is the one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong. Life is waiting for you to smile when she gives you a challenge. See if you can work on that and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel and how much easier life flows through. You attract what you are. If you get all negative about life, you'll just attract more of it. But if you smile and soften, you'll just attract more of it. But if you smile and soften, you'll attract love and peace.

Speaker 1: 16:53

I hope you enjoyed this episode. I hope you enjoyed this teaching. I really love this quote, this poem. I'll put it below as well so you can check it out and write it down somewhere that you can see it, because I think it's really important. Thank you for being here.

Speaker 1: 17:09

Magical Human. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating or a review. Share it with someone Share it on Insta and tag me at Madison Mindset the podcast and if you would like the practice version of this episode where we go into a beautiful practice that you can use to really help you embody this, then you can check out Patreon. Jump over there. It's a beautiful space. There are some changes coming, with Patreon really coming really shortly, so make sure you keep an eye out on the space and keep listening to the podcast and check out Instagram so you can stay informed. But there are some really beautiful changes happening on there and some new opportunities to suit everybody. So if you would like the practice version of this, jump over there, go and subscribe and, yeah, enjoy, let's work on our mindset together. Thank you for being here, magical human, I see you, I appreciate you and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. Thank you.