Soul Talk and Psychic Advice

Love Doesn't Read Minds, Words Do

• Dr. Donna • Season 1 • Episode 15

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Ever wish someone could hand you the perfect words to say what you feel without the knot in your stomach? We go straight at the fear behind communication—why so many of us learned to stay quiet, hope for telepathy, and outsource clarity to friends or psychics—and we build a calmer, braver way to speak your needs in love.

We unpack the mind-reading myth and how it fuels resentment on both sides. Love isn’t a guessing game; it’s a practice of steady, honest talk. Drawing from years of readings and coaching, we separate “insight” from “answers”: a psychic can illuminate patterns, but only your partner can tell you how they feel. We map how trauma shapes your nervous system, why the fawn response feels safe but stalls intimacy, and how somatic regulation turns vulnerability from danger into grounded presence. Expect concrete, gentle tools you can use today.

You’ll get simple, two-way scripts that open real dialogue: here’s how I feel; how do you feel? here’s what I need to feel safe and connected; what do you need? We show you how to turn vague hopes into behavioral requests, pace intimacy with clarity, and ask hard questions without trying to control the outcome. If you’ve been afraid to “rock the boat,” we’ll help you see how silence sinks relationships while speaking keeps them breathing. Whether you’re dating or deep into a partnership, these steps help you stop guessing and start building a bond that can actually hold your truth.

Ready to trade anxiety for alignment? Press play, try one script tonight, and tell us what shifts. If this helped, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to support the show.

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome to another episode of my podcast, Soul Talk and Psychic Advice. Something that comes up often when I'm doing readings is the issue of communication. One thing I have learned is that a lot of people do not communicate clearly for many reasons. Often because of some unhealed trauma, right? So many people, especially women, ask psychics questions that they actually need to be asking their partners. And so most communication challenges are not about love, they're about trauma. And sadly for women, often women get scared to ask certain questions because they feel uncomfortable, there's insecurity, they don't want to push them away. And so they end up asking me, which is fine. You know, I'm here to answer anything, be supportive, I have no issue. But some of the questions will resonate if they go directly to their partner. So there's some key teaching points that will go on in this podcast today. Number one, your partner's not a mind reader, they just aren't. Even if they love you, they can't read your mind. And men have been saying this for years. I can't read your mind, you gotta talk to me. Love does not equal intuitive telepathy. It doesn't. So even if you feel like you should have that connection, if they can't read your mind, it doesn't mean they don't love you. You know, people really can't read each other's mind unless they're psychic, and even the psychics have limitations with that, right? And who wants to walk around all the time reading someone's mind when you could just communicate what you want? Healthy relationships require needs being spoken, not guessed. So you have to speak your needs, it's just so important, and it's okay to have needs. And trauma makes you avoid communication because it used to be unsafe, right? You you weren't seen or heard as a child, or somewhere along the line as a child of preteen, and so you don't know that you get to ask for what you want, or if you asked for what you wanted, you got yelled at, you got screamed at, your feelings weren't validated. You're told to stop crying, to stop feeling, oh, just suck it up, or if you want to cry, I give you something to cry about, right? So all that affects our adulthood and how we communicate. So silence, hoping, and guessing creates confusion and resentment. Somatic safety makes communication possible. That's why I'm all about somatic healing, because everything, trauma gets stored in the body. You can ask me or any psychic for clarity, but the real transformation happens when you talk to your partner. And when you have those talks, it actually leads to knowing that you're with the right person, you feel safer, you feel confident, you feel seen and heard, and it can help you undo some of those old beliefs that you don't get to have your feelings validated. So, starting with this whole podcast, we're gonna go with talking about the important subject of communication and relationships and why so many people avoid it, especially women, why trauma makes it hard, and why psychic cannot replace honest conversations with your partner. Well, even if we tell you the exact things, it isn't gonna feel the same unless you hear it from your partner. That's just how it is. You can call me and ask how does he feel, but at some point you have to ask him. You have to, because that's the only way it's gonna feel safe. You can ask me what does he want, but eventually you have to express what you want and ask him what he wants. Communication is the foundation, and your nervous system plays a huge role in whether or not you'll feel safe enough to actually communicate. And we see those posts saying, if you aren't communicating to keep the peace, you're not keeping the peace, you're gonna build up stress, resentment, insecurities, fears, doubts. It life becomes hard. So the myth of if he loves me, he'd just know isn't true. You know, sometimes I see posts like that and I cringe. I'm like, no, I've been doing this too long. And most of us know because right, if he loves you and you expect him to know what you need, well, if you love him, shouldn't you know what he's feeling? You see how crazy that gets? You want him to communicate it. But if you love him, why does he have to communicate it? Shouldn't you just know it? And that doesn't make sense, right? So no, we have to communicate. So let's get real about something. You know a lot of women do believe if he loved me he'd know what I need. But here's the truth that I've learned as a psychic and as a woman in my younger years. Nobody knows what you need unless you tell them. No one knows. Your friends, relationships, boss, no one knows. A partner is not a my reader. They can't be. They're they're not a psychic. They're not living inside your nervous system, inside your mind. Your needs are yours and you deserve to speak them. Your desires are yours and you deserve to speak them. Your boundaries are yours, and you know I'm all about boundaries, sacred boundaries, and you have a right to have boundaries. Healthy communication requires love, right? But love requires communication, not guessing. Saying what you need doesn't make you needy. God, don't think that. It makes you brave, it makes you emotionally mature, it makes you the architect of your relationship. That's important to know. Why trauma makes communicating feel dangerous? It can feel very unsafe for people. I see people get upset, they're like, I can't, I can't, I just can't. It's like, but if you want a relationship, you're gonna have to. And if you can't communicate, you aren't ready for a relationship. There's some healing to do. And if you think, oh well, one day I feel enough love and I feel safe, no, you gotta do the healing work. So let's talk about the deeper reason communication is so hard. Trauma. If you grew up in chaos, if you were told your feelings didn't matter, if you were punished for having need, some people were. A lot of times, I was surprised how many people who I thought, you know, my friends growing up had perfect homes, struggled. You know, I learned a lot in my early 20s when I started just talking to my friends, and I thought that everything was fine there, and they're like, No, and they were ignored, they were dismissed. So if you were ignored or dismissed or abandoned, you're gonna be scared to speak because you're thinking, My God, you know, what if I get abandoned? What if they leave if they don't like my wants, my desires? What am I gonna do? So you're really hoping that they just know and you won't have to take that risk, and that's what's going on. So, of course, communication will feel terrifying if you went through these things of growing up in chaos, or told your feelings didn't matter, or punished for having needs, or was ignored, abandoned, dismissed. Of course, it'll feel terrifying. Your body associates vulnerability with danger if you have trauma. Your nervous system says, Don't speak up, you'll be rejected, don't ask for anything, they'll leave, right? And if you have avengement issues, you're gonna be scared of that person leaving. And sometimes people are very much afraid. Don't rock the boat, stay quiet and stay safe. These are things that we learn in our younger years, and this is not a weakness, it's a survival strategy. Do keep that in mind. This is your fun response. Fawn is all about people pleasing, keeping the peace, staying quiet, you know, don't rock the boat. This is a little girl and you trying to avoid abandonment. So you shut down, you stay quiet, you hope love won't leave you. You hope he just figured out. But silence doesn't protect you. Silence disconnects you, and if you think about it, when you stay silent, you you know there's no energy being moved, right? There's no communication, there's no nothing, so you can't grow, you can't get closer, you can't get intimacy. You you know, sex is a form of intimacy, but it isn't all of intimacy, and it in a lot of cases it's not the ultimate intimacy. And so, how do you get close to someone and fall deep in love if you're not feeling comfortable enough to communicate with them? How does that work? And so, you know, when I talk to people who are scared to ask, I feel their fear. And I you you know, they're the same people who say, What does he like about me? How does he feel about me? You you know, and they've never asked the person's like, Wow, you've been at dating for three months, six months, a year. You you know, you're scared to say how you feel, so how's it gonna change? It's never gonna change, right? So here's the pattern that I see constantly as a psychic. Women come to a psychic with questions that they need to take to their partner. There's a lot of things that we can't answer, like, is this the right person? Is this a healthy person? Is this person going to cause harm? Are they married? Are they cheating on you? We can answer a lot of stuff, and that's what we're supposed to do. But when you come to us and you ask, how does he feel about me? We can tell you, but you really need to ask him for it to even matter or mean something. Like we could confirm it. Sometimes, you know, they say one thing and mean another, but I think it's important to always be brave enough to ask someone, how do they feel about you if you're intimate with them? A lot of times people are getting intimate with people before having tough conversations, before knowing where they stand or how the person feels about them. And you know, that could get very uncomfortable and awkward because you've already been sexually involved, but the communication isn't there, and communication should really come first. And so, you know, other questions what does he want? Why is he acting distant? Ask him, are you okay if something's wrong? Don't be scared of the answer. Because even if I tell you and it's something you don't want to hear, you won't be able to mentally prepare. A lot of times I think when we have trauma and we're in survival mode, we think if we're told something by the psychic, we can mentally prepare for the reality of it. But it it still hurt, right? But just remember something that I think a lot of people don't think about. You're survivors, you have survived all these years, even with the trauma, abuse, abandonment, mistreatment, you know, not having a good relationship with parents if that happened, being told that you are to be seen and not hurt, you survived everything. And you've been able to take care of yourself and move about the cabin of life as I say, yeah, you know, you've been able to function. So don't let a relationship break you. It's okay to want a relationship. I did a whole podcast on you know wanting a relationship and it shouldn't be called male-centered. It's okay. But make sure that you don't like weigh so much on it that you feel like if it doesn't work out because if you communicate your truth, you'd be devastated. What it's doing is when you're scared to communicate your truth, you're going back to the first time, more than likely, that it was uncomfortable for you, that the first time you communicated your truth and you got shut down. So don't see it as a devastation from the current situation. It's really devastation because of what wasn't healed in the past. And more than likely, someone who is supposed to be taking care of you, loving you, and protecting you gave you that trauma. So, other questions I'm asked, what should I do? I like that. I I like that. I like helping people with that one. I think is very important, you know, to help people weigh things out. I I tell people keep a score sheet, what's positive and what's negative, and see what has more on which side is there more negative than positive or vice versa, and ask how do you feel? You know, a lot of times we are doers, we just do do do, and we didn't don't really sit and think about how we're feeling in something and how it's affecting us. And so I do love that question. Is he serious about me? I can answer it. Yes, but I want you to also feel comfortable asking him, is something wrong? I can help you work through that. I'm I'm gonna ask why do you feel that way if I don't see something wrong? Because it could be a trauma. Usually when somebody asks how does a guy feel about them, it's because something's wrong, or they think something's wrong, and they think the person, you know, got quiet and it's gonna disappear in them. But you know, also be able to ask your partner, is something wrong? You know, so these questions aren't wrong to ask. They're not weak, they're not desperate, but there's some fear in there, right? And I love to help people work through it. So if you call me, I don't know how other psychics work, but if you call me, um being a psychic, I'm reading it psychically, but I'm also coaching because I want you to feel like you're getting the most out of the reading. I'm a talker, and I can be long-winded, and you know, my clients seem to like that. The ones who didn't, they were like, Do you have to be so long-winded? And I tell them, you know, I'm just not the psychic for you. I'm just not, you know. But asking him for clarity may feel very vulnerable, too risky, too exposing. And I know calling a psychic feels safer. And hey, we're behind the phone, we don't even know what you look like, right? And so we wouldn't know you on the street, so it is very safe, and I think that's what I like about being a psychic on Keen. You know, a lot of times I may use Zoom for the private clients I've had, but I like that because I think people feel safer and they tell me more, and I know I couldn't pinpoint them on the street, but remember, even if I tell you what's going on, the relationship can't heal without communication between the two of you. No matter what I say, even if I'm a hundred percent accurate, right? You still gotta have that communication. I give insight, psychics give insight, partners give answers. That's how that works. So that's very important to remember the difference. I'm gonna say it again. Psychics can give insight into the situation. They can tell you a lot, but partners can give you the details from themselves and the answers from themselves. And even though I'm giving you answers, it's still insight, it's not the whole pie. You get the whole pie from your partner. So, what does healthy communication actually look like? Communication is not guessing, hoping, hinting. Please don't hint. Just speak it, complaining silently. Or if you're asked something's wrong, you go, nothing. If something's wrong, speak it. Expecting telepathic love. That's a big one. A lot of people do. And you you know, no, that isn't what it's about. That's not communication. Communication is this is how I feel, it's speaking how you feel, truthfully, honestly, saying I feel a certain way and feeling safe, speaking it regardless of how your partner responds to it. A lot of people only want to speak if they get a guaranteed outcome, and that guaranteed outcome is what they want to hear. And life isn't like that. Every day, life is about a risk. We're we're taking risk all the time, and that's how you find out what's right for you. And I know it's hard for a lot of people, they don't want to start over, they don't want to go looking for a new partner, so they're trying to work with the one that they have, but and a lot of times we can work out things, but if it isn't working, it's okay to move on. So if they're uncomfortable with how you feel, they're not for you. This is what I need, as long as you're not saying crazy, extravagant stuff, speak it. See, I need regular communication, I need to know how you feel. I need us to be able to work things out when there's a problem. And you say what feels good to you. Personally, emotionally, sexually, all of it. That's so important. And they need to know what hurts you. You know, a lot of times people don't speak what hurts them. They're so scared to say it because when they were younger, their pain wasn't validated. What hurted them hurt at them, what hurt them, wasn't validated. And you have to say what you're afraid of. You're afraid of the person leaving, you're afraid of it not working out. These are valid things, these aren't weak things. This is valid. And this is how you can support me. And you can say, and how can I support you? Right? This is what I envisioned for us. And you can ask them, what do they envision for you guys? You know, so do it like this. Hey, this is how I feel, and I want to know how you feel. This is what I need. What do you need? This is what feels good to me. What feels good to you? Ask it both ways, right? You you know, you you say what you need and ask them what they need, and that's communication, listening to each other, finding a middle ground. You you know, relationships are often about meeting in the middle, you know, and sometimes you get your way and sometimes they get their way. But everybody's getting their needs met one way or another. So communication isn't about controlling the outcome, because we can't. We're humans, nothing's controlled as a human between life and death. It's about speaking your truth in the present moment unapologetically. It's about emotional honesty backed by nervous system regulation. This is why we regulate our nervous system and heal our trauma, because we can't just bury it and say one day someone will love you and everything will be okay. No, because we won't let love in. The trauma will stop us because we don't know if it's safe or not. Because when your body feels safe, your voice becomes honest. That's what's important. So here's some simple scripts for women to use. And if you're male listening, flip it around. Okay, I want to understand you better. How are you feeling about us lately? I like that. Isn't that nice? You know, it's just like how are you feeling about us lately? 'Cause I want to understand you better. You know, what do you need? You you know, what's going on? And it and you know, because a lot of times we think men are all okay and they communicate just fine and they don't get hurt and it's easy for them. That's not true, it's hard for men too. And you know, I I read for men and and they need clarity and answers too. So we have to give it to each other. So this is great, this is a great thing to say. Another one is here's something I need in this relationship to feel safe and connected. And remember, you say that and then you can ask them, okay, I told you what I need to feel safe and connected. What do you need? And so you see how that works, and that's how you get like deeper conversation, more honest conversation, and know where you stand. Another one is I care about you, and I want us to communicate better. Can we talk about what we both need? Isn't that awesome? I like that. I'm learning to express my needs instead of hiding them. Can I share something with you? It's vulnerable, but it's beautiful, right? It's empowering. When someone talks like that to me, I feel like, whoa, that's so awesome, so empowering. I like when someone says, I'm learning, because we're always learning. Nobody has this thing called life all figured out. We're we're learning, right? And so it's wonderful. So these are vulnerable, you know, questions, but they're awesome questions. They lead to great communication, they lead to this openness that you're seeking. So vulnerability is not a weakness, it's emotional truth, it's emotional maturity that is needed. And you know, communicating is a big conversation that is fearful for a lot of people. And I know in my younger years I would struggle with it, get frustrated with it, but now just such a straight shooter, I think I weird people out, and that's okay. And and you know, when I was dating, it it was just like I was a straight shooter. What do you want? Are you interested? Do you like me? No, this is what I need, you know, always shoot straight with me. And they would look at me like I was kind of creepy to some. But I like that I felt that comfortable of being direct. Because for years I didn't know that I get to be that direct, and when you listen to your peers, they're like, Oh, well, you don't want to say something too soon, you don't want to tell them the bad stuff too soon, you want them to fall in love with you first, but I don't want somebody to fall in love with me under false pretense that I'm someone that I'm not. So I'm gonna close with this. Communication is how relationships breathe. That's how it's breathing for relationships, it's breath work for relationships. Silence is how relationships suffocate, right? And that's how they die because no communication, they're gonna die. You can't just always avoid it. And I've seen situations where one person in the relationship avoids communication, or the other one's begging for communication, and you know, at one point they just stop asking for it, and they're like, Oh, I don't want this person to be mad, I don't want them to leave, and and they end up breaking up anyway. And so I've seen it where people are like, Well, I don't want to ask anything because it'll rock the boat, and he's not much of a talker, and so I just leave it like this, but you you don't know, you have a right to have communication, so do communicate and don't be scared of rocking a boat or them leaving. If they leave, they're not for you. Because speaking your truth shouldn't result in conflict, you know. So you deserve a partner who listens, but you also deserve to hear your own voice. Always use your voice. A psychic can help you understand energy, but communication helps you build connection. We can tell you a lot of things, and I love when clients do say to me, you know what? I communicated it, and they they were so glad to hear it, and it helped us, it got us to the next step, and you know that's always beautiful. Your trauma taught you to stay quiet, but healing teaches you to speak. Yeah, the right to use your voice. And speaking is how you call in the relationship that truly honors you. That's important. The universe can't give you what you want unless you're very clear, and you have to filter through to see who's the right partner for you to be aligned with. Because a lot of times when relationships don't work, it's because the communication isn't there. So I want to thank you for listening today. And remember, communication is so important, and if you're struggling with communication, make it your homework to get better at it, to get comfortable with it, and being vulnerable is actually a sign of maturity and strength and confidence.