You’re Not Broken, Your Nervous System Is Protecting You

We explore why “bad luck” often comes from unhealed trauma, nervous system patterns, and survival habits rather than curses or punishment. We share reframes, practical tools, and clear steps to replace superstition with agency and care.

• meaning-making under repeated stress and why it backfires
• the hidden work behind “lucky” relationships and lives
• patterns versus curses and why patterns can change
• how trauma drives hypervigilance, sabotage, and staying too long
• spiritual sensitivity, self-blame, and the limits of rituals
• costs of believing you’re cursed and handing away power
• practical reframes that build safety and choice
• healing as nervous system regulation, grief work, and boundaries
• closing reminders about worth, seasons, and clarity over fear

Thank you for listening and have a great day.

Chapters

• 0:00 You Are Not Cursed
• 1:45 Why We Assign Meaning To Pain
• 4:20 Comparing Lives And Hidden Work
• 6:30 Patterns Versus Curses
• 9:30 Trauma Disguised As Bad Luck
• 12:30 Spiritual Sensitivity And Self-Blame
• 15:00 The Cost Of Believing You’re Cursed
• 17:15 What’s Really Driving Repeated Struggles
• 19:30 Healthier Reframes And Closing Clarity

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hello, it's Dr. Donna, and welcome to another episode of my podcast. Um, this is an interesting topic, but I've heard this from people throughout the years, and I want to discuss this in detail. The title of today's talk is You're Not Cursed. Understanding bad luck without spiritual self-blame. This is very important because it weighs it's something that quietly weighs on a lot of people, especially sensitive spiritual, intuitive people. A lot of people feel like someone's put a curse on them, that when things don't go their way, they have bad luck when y you know, and really sometimes things don't go our way. It's actually protection. But for some people they take it as I should have got what I wanted as a curse, is bad luck, something's wrong, somebody's doing this to me, the universe doesn't like me, God doesn't like me, and that isn't what's really happening. So that belief that something must be wrong with me, I must be cursed. Why does nothing ever work out for me? And if you really think about it, a lot of things work out for us. And sometimes they work out differently, but a lot of things do work out for us, but we focus on the one thing that we want, and that doesn't work, and we think our whole life has gone to the shitters and it hasn't. So when things go wrong repeatedly, relationships, money, health, timing, is because it's easy to start believing that there's something fundamentally broken or spiritually wrong about you. But it isn't so. There's nothing wrong with you, you're not broken. Today's episode is here to gently, clearly, and honestly say you're not cursed, you're not being punished, you're not energetically doomed at all. Okay? And believing you can actually keep you stuck longer than the bad luck itself. If you think this way, remember our words become powerful. And if it because the more you think it, the more you feel it, and so you're gonna manifest it, right? Because we manifest at the level of feeling, you're gonna create this, you're gonna make more of it happen. Sometimes we go through bad cycles, trust me, I've been through them, and I've seen other people go through them, and then good things happen. But of course, we want the good all the time, but that isn't how life works. You know, what is the saying? You get rid of one problem, another one shows up. So let's talk about why humans like to turn bad luck into meaning. We're we're humans, right? We're human beings, and we love making everything have meaning. We are meaning-making creatures. We definitely are. When painful things happen once, we can usually cope, right? One thing happens, it's okay. I rise above it. I'd be alright. But when they happen repeatedly, our nervous system looks for an explanation. I even talk to people in my grief group and say, don't look for an explanation for everything, but we try, right? We think it's gonna make us feel better. We feel like it gives us a sense of control and awareness, but you know, sometimes there isn't an explanation, and often that explanation that the person assigns to it because they're trying so hard to have meaning is I'm unlucky, I'm cursed, nothing ever works out for me. Or people even say, other people get it easy. Why don't I? How come I don't have it easy? People will literally look around at other people, know nothing about their life or what they're going through or what they're battling and say, their life looks easier than mine. We see a couple kissing and think, well, their relationship is better than mine, but we don't know what work they had to do to get to that point where they're passionate, loving, kind, and kissing. A lot of couples, because I am nosy and I used to ask a lot of couples how did you manage to stay together? Because I was just always curious. I would ask people randomly, and they're like, we had to fight for this. We had to work on ourselves, we had to go to counseling, we had to do all these things to make it work. So when you see a couple having a good relationship and yours isn't going well, it's not that they're luckier. They went through the hard stuff, but they busted their their butts and and they cracked themselves open spiritually and did the healing work to get closer. Because remember, relationships are just mirrors. I know people want it to be all lovey-dovey, romantic, and great all the time, but that isn't what relationships are for. Relationships force us to work on ourselves, and our relationships start at the level that we have healed. And if we want great relationships, we have to do more healing. If you avoid the healing, you keep on having bad relationships. And so here's my tangent. I remember when I was 17, I was living in the projects, and I had a neighbor. She would stay with a guy, break up with him a couple months later, get another guy. She was good at getting the guys, she just could. And she would say, This one drank, and then the next one drank, and then this behavior, and then the next one had that behavior. And I said, Wow, you should have just stayed with the first one because they all are the same. And what I learned at that age at 17, even before I got into the spiritual world, is that we keep on dating what we need to work on. She wasn't leveling up in the growth, she wasn't getting the awareness, so she kept on dating the same guy with a different age. So a lot of people are in relationships that aren't moving forward, not because they're unlucky or they're bad people, it's because there's some type of healing that must take place. Like this particular neighbor was a sweetheart, you know, but she was dating the wrong man every time. And you know, I never seen her single. She always had someone, but they were always the same personality. So remember that. If you're having bad luck in a relationship, what healing needs to take place so that you can have a better relationship. And when you see someone, you know, having a good relationship, you don't know what it took to get there. We don't know what happens behind the scenes. We project, we assume, and we have to stop doing that. So people in the spiritual community will frame this as a curse or bad karma, a past life punishment. A lot of people think they're doing some past life work, and and you know, I don't get a lot into past lives. Do I believe in them? Yes, but I don't think that we have to do a whole lot of stuff in our new life that we didn't complete in our last life. I do believe that we carry people over, but sometimes people will stay in a bad relationship because they go, Oh, this is some past life karma, and it's like, don't do that. If something's bad, get out. Don't worry about trying to clear some past life's karma, because that may cost you your life, and you'll be back again. So don't do that. Um some people see it as an energy attachment or being blocked or unlucky. You know, there's really no such thing as luck. So I have to admit on this podcast I may be a little bit long-winded, but it's because I want to be clear. And there truly isn't a such thing as being lucky or unlucky. It's really about doing the foundational somatic healing work so that you can manifest what you desire instead of what you haven't healed. That's important to remember. You want to manifest what you desire, not what you haven't healed. But when people do this, when they say it's a curse or bad karma or you know, being blocked or unlucky, etc., there this is their mind trying to create order when there's chaos, trying to make sense of it all, right? Because when things don't make sense, it is random and it feels unsafe. But meaning, even painful meaning, feels controllable. It feels like, okay, this makes sense. I can write this out easier. But be careful doing that because sometimes that can make us stuck where we don't need to be stuck. The difference between the patterns and curses. Let's talk about this. This is a very important distinction. A curse implies something external, intentional, and mystical is happening to you. And a lot of people do believe that someone put a curse on them. But a lot of times I haven't, and you know, I have my beliefs about curses, and yeah, you know, I I lived in Austin. A lot of people from New Orleans were they came after Katrina up to Austin. We we talked about voodoo and curses and stuff, and really we can't take away someone's free will. We can't. So if you try to put a curse on somebody, it's coming back on you ten times, if not a thousand times. So I learned a lot. So a lot of people are not cursed. Now a pattern is different from a curse, it is something that emerges from conditioning, trauma, nervous system wiring, learned beliefs, repeated choices made under stress or fear. A lot of people just make decisions based on trauma, survival. You you know, I don't want to say good or bad decisions because we we act according to the level of our healing, right? So if you see something repeating, like with my neighbor who's dating the same dude with a different name, that's trauma, that's nervous system wiring, it's learned beliefs, it's unhealed stuff. So repeated choices made under stress are fear. That's what it is. So patterns can feel just as powerful as a curse, but patterns are changeable. Many people experiencing bad luck are actually experiencing a dysregulated nervous system, chronic stress responses, survival-based decision making, attachment wounds, or unresolved grief or trauma. That's what's really happening. But you know, we we have this belief, well, I'm a good person, it's the only good things should happen. And we know bad things happen to good people. We we know this, but you you know, people are always trying to override this and believe that it should be different from what it is. But yes, a lot of people are in situations because of unhealed trauma, attachment wounds, right? Instead of an energy attachment, it's an attachment wound, survival-based decision making, chronic stress responses, right? That's really where it's coming from. So this doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Okay? It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong if you are doing things from a dysregulated nervous system, etc. It means your system learned how to survive, and survival strategies don't always create ease, and that's important. Survival strategies don't always create ease. When you're trying to survive, we do interesting things when we're trying to survive the moment. Trauma can look like bad luck, and this part is important. When someone has experienced early trauma, neglect, or prolonged stress, their nervous system becomes wired for hypervigilance. You are always on alert, anticipating danger, just waiting for something to go wrong, expecting loss, preparing for disappointment. And some people are wired to be disappointed. They go, see, I knew it'd go wrong. And even if something's working, they're waiting for it to go wrong, right? Because that's from early trauma. And this can unconsciously lead to choosing emotionally unavailable partners. A lot of times people do. I remember when I knew I didn't want to get married or wanted to be single, I would date people who I knew there would be limitations to the relationship because I didn't want to be engaged, I didn't want to be married. So sometimes we know what we're doing, I knew what I was doing, but a lot of times people don't know, and that's important. So a lot of times it's unconscious. So you also can unconsciously stay too long in unhealthy situations. A lot of people will fight and fight and fight, you know, to try to work out something bad when it's not working, and sometimes people will miss opportunities because safety feels unfamiliar, it feels suspicious. I have had people call me and say, good things are happening. Can I trust it? Is it safe? And I'm like, I know where this is coming from. It's coming from trauma. And I try to work it out with them. And so it's our trauma gets in the way. So a lot of times people are missing opportunities because they don't feel safe taking them. You know, unconsciously we could feel overwhelmed when things start to go well. It's like, oh, things are going well, so it's time for something bad to happen. People do that, right? I remember before I healed my trauma, I used to think like that. Now it's like it could be good most of the time. When something bad happens, I can handle it. You know, self-sabotage that isn't conscious. A lot of people will sabotage good things, sabotage a good relationship. They test people, they will, you know, push people away. Um, a lot of times people sabotage a work promotion or good opportunity, you know. So that is stuff that people do unconsciously due to unhealed trauma, but they think is bad luck. So from the outside it looks like bad luck. From the inside is a body trying to stay safe. Therefore, you are not cursed. Your nervous system is protecting you the only way it knows how. The only way it knows how. Okay, for the people in the back. Never, ever, ever expect good things to happen if you have unhealed trauma or and how do I want to say this? Good things can happen, but don't expect that something can't go wrong when you have unhealed trauma because you will perceive it as something will go wrong. So if you're having bad luck all the time or things are not working, guess what? You want to heal trauma so that you could trust what's going right. So basically, I'm trying to say if you have good things happening, you think something's going wrong, heal your trauma. Excuse me if I twisted the words, but that's what I'm trying to say. So you're not cursed. It's just your nervous system protecting you the only way it knows how. Okay, spiritual sensitivity can amplify this belief. It really can. Highly intuitive and empathic people often internalize struggles spiritually. I used to do that, so glad I don't no more. And I try to stop other people from doing that. You live a better life and you live more free when you stop doing that. They may believe if I heal enough, bad things won't happen. Bad things that still happen even if you heal, but you'll be able to handle it better. It'll be less of a sabotage, right? You won't be so wired for safety and you can see good things and allow that to happen. When something bad happens, it won't just mess you up as badly. Um, if I manifest correctly, this won't keep happening. That's a big one. And you know, in the spiritual community, we believe some interesting things sometimes. It took me many years to say, nope, this doesn't resonate. Because working with clients, you kind of learn what works and what doesn't. If I clear my energy, I finally be safe. So people are constantly saving themselves, clearing their energy. I use sage in my house, right? But I'm not trying to clear my energy to prevent bad things from happening. So when life continues to bring challenges, they conclude I must be blocked, I must be cursed. Because they've cleared their energy, they've tried everything, right, that they could possibly do. They're like, I've done healing. And I've had people say, look, I've done healing, I've cleared out my house, I've given to people, I've been a great person, and bad things are still happening. What's wrong with me? And it's like it goes back to the saying stuff just happens sometimes, right? And so some things will still happen, but it will be a different perspective of when they happen. It won't feel so big and you won't feel cursed because you shouldn't feel cursed. Okay, so spirituality was never meant to be a system of self-blame. It was never mentioned, it never meant to be a system of self-blame. Being intuitive does not mean you are immune to grief, loss, human timing, other people's choices, collective stress, or life transitions. So being intuitive or enlightened or aware, because a lot of people want to be psychic because they think they'd be able to control and prevent things, and you can't. You still got to do life. I always tell the story of how I knew that I would get bit by my sister's dog on my face. And I knew it a year before, and I still couldn't prevent the moment. It was just something that was supposed to happen. So don't think, oh, I won't grieve when I lose somebody because I have all this spiritual, intellectual reasoning. People would tell me that. They're like, you must not believe spiritually. And I just thought, wow. You know, a lot of people really try to use spirituality to avoid living, they're bypassing. But you will still have grief and loss and have to deal with timing and you know, just what happens in the world, life transitions. So being intuitive doesn't make you immune to these things. Sometimes difficulty is not a sign of misalignment, it's a sign of being human in a complex world. Sometimes difficulties just happen, right? And this danger of believing your curse. No, you're not curse. Believing your curse can quietly shape your life. It really can. It can affect how you live your life. It can lead to lowered expectations because you'd just be scared to have expectations. To you know, you're not gonna manifest, you're like Ain't gonna work, right? Why bother manifesting? You hold yourself back. You make yourself depressed. You have a fear of having hope about anything. You know that expect the worst, hope for the best. You won't even do that much. You just expect the worst. Overspending on spiritual fixes. A lot of people will do that. They go get all types of energy work and shielding and them all for all this stuff, but don't think that it has to be done to erase what you're going through. You know, that isn't how it works. And you hand power away to healers or rituals. Go see a healer if you want. Go see a go have a ritual if you want. But don't hand your power away and think I have to do this and spend thousands of dollars in order to get healed. That's not true. Um, you can avoid responsibility. Some people will because they just they just go and curse. So they don't even look at why it happened. They don't understand cause and effect. They just go, God doesn't like me, the universe doesn't like me, I'm cursed. But we have to look at cause and effect and if we miss some signs or something, right? So when you believe you're cursed, you stop asking, what can I change? Right? And you start asking, what's wrong with me? Nothing's wrong with you. There's no such thing as something being wrong with you. It's just unhealed trauma, right? There's something else going on. So that question alone can keep patterns repeating, yes, and you will not be able to be a manifester. So what actually is happening instead? In most cases, repeated bad luck is a combination of unhealed emotional wounds, right? That's very much what it is. Um dysregulation, as we talked about, lack of support from people, conditioning around worth or safety, grief that hasn't been metabolized, gotta deal with grief, fear of ease because chaos feels familiar. So none of this means you failed spiritually. It means your system needs support, compassion, and regulation, not judgment. That's why when people go, you don't judge people, no, because I know why people do what they do. And so that's why I don't judge people. That's why you could talk to me about just anything, just don't be rude to me and we're good. So when safety increases, choices shift. When regulation improves, patterns soften. When self-trust grows, timing improves, right? Not magically, but organically. Things just get better over time. And so reframing bad luck without spiritual bypassing. No spiritual bypassing, face it. These are healthier reframes. Instead of I'm cursed, try my system has been under stress for a long time. That's more appropriate that your system has been under stress for a long time versus being cursed. That's what you want to remember. Instead of nothing ever works out, oh, I hate when I hear that for people because a lot's working out. You're alive, right? Lots working out. Try, I am learning how to create safety and stability in new ways. Instead of other people have it easier, because they don't. You'll be surprised. People are walking around with terminal cancer, looking okay. You know, we just don't know what people are going through. Try, I don't see the full picture of anyone else's life. We don't. I remember going to work after planning my son's funeral, you know, picking out the casket, the whole thing, and I had to put a smile on my face, and nobody knew what I just did the day before. Nobody knew. So we really don't know what people are going through. You know, I had a friend who was suffering with cancer and kept it private, and they would smile and they look pretty healthy, and next thing you know, they're gone. We just don't know. You don't need to force positivity, because you know how I feel about that. We don't do fake positivity. You need truth without punishment. That's all you need. I'm gonna close this out before I talk too much. You're not broken. Let me say this clearly as we close. You're not cursed. No, you're not cursed. You're not energetically defective, you're not being punished by the universe. The universe doesn't punish, it can teach. Sometimes we'll learn a lesson, but you know, the universe doesn't go on and on. I'm gonna punish you for days, weeks, months. Usually it's a one-time event or a short-term event, but the universe would never curse you. You're a human being with a history, a nervous system, and a life unfolding in layers. Bad seasons do not define your worth. We all have bad seasons. Patterns do not define your destiny. They do not. And healing does not mean nothing hard ever happens again. That isn't what it means, but you'll be able to cope with it better as you heal. It means you stop turning pain into proof that something is wrong with you. Stop turning pain into proof that something is wrong with you. Stop it. So thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. And remember, clarity is more powerful than superstition rooted in fear. That is so important to remember. So I want to say to you again, you are not cursed. God doesn't hate you, the universe isn't punishing you. Life just happens sometime. And just do the steps to take care of yourself and watch you be able to manage life easier. So thank you for listening and have a great day.