How to Get the Most Out of a Psychic Reading

You can feel it in your body when you’re not looking for insight, you’re looking for certainty. That’s where psychic readings and tarot readings can either help you grow or quietly pull you into anxiety. We get honest about what intuitive readings are meant to do, and what they can never do, especially when free will is part of every relationship, timeline, and “prediction.”

We walk through the biggest traps we see: trying to control outcomes, trying to control other people’s feelings, and using repeated readings to soothe the discomfort of waiting. Then we flip the focus to what actually works. We treat a reading as awareness and life strategy: seeing options, noticing patterns beneath the surface, and getting clear on what’s aligned for you. We also talk about the difference between an empowering reading that leaves you grounded versus a dynamic that creates emotional dependency and constant checking.

You’ll hear practical reframes and better questions to ask, plus a simple somatic check-in for those moments when the urge for reassurance spikes. If you want spiritual guidance that strengthens your relationship with yourself, this conversation will meet you there. Subscribe for more Soul Talk and Psychic Advice, share this with a friend who’s stuck in “what if,” and leave a review with the biggest takeaway you’re applying this week.

Transcript

Why People Seek Readings

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Hello, it's Dr. Donna, and welcome to another episode of my podcast, Soul Talk and Psychic Advice. Today we're going to talk about something that I believe is very important, especially if you are someone who receives readings, or even if you're someone who gives readings. And that is this. What are read readings actually meant for? I think some people don't know because there's a lot of misunderstanding around this. Some people come into readings hoping to control outcomes, which you can't. Predict exact timelines. Rarely. It it's impossible because you're dealing with humans who have free will. Change other people. You can't. Or get certainty about things they feel unsure about. And where I consider reading to be life strategy, we really can't give a hundred percent certainty. You know, there's no such thing as being a hundred percent accurate or ninety-nine percent accurate. I think at most psychics are ninety, ninety-two percent accurate, and there's a lot of reasons why there's no such thing as a hundred percent accuracy. But then again, in any job, is there any job really where there's a hundred percent perfection or accuracy? No. So while this is human to feel this way, it's not the highest purpose of intuitive work, it just isn't. So today we're gonna talk about what readings are truly meant for. Why trying to control outcomes create more confusion, how readings can support your growth, because that's what they do, and how they can help you understand others more deeply. So let's start with honesty. Let's be real for a moment. Most people don't come into a reading feeling completely neutral. You can't. We all have biases, hopes, wishes, dreams. They come in because they're uncertain about something. There's uncertainty, they want clarity, you know, and it's great to be able to give some clarity to a situation. They're emotional. Yeah, people are having an emotional moment. They're not just calling for fun, and they want clarity. They want reassurance. Yes, a lot of people do hope for reassurance in a reading, and sometimes they want a specific answer. They want to hear it's going to work out. Sometimes it does, right? But it depends on the situation. They're coming back. Not always, but hey, I've seen it plenty of times where they do. This will happen exactly how you want. And this is where a problem really comes in. You know, people want things to line up a certain way because they've told themselves that it only is correct or meant for them, or it's gonna work out if it happens a certain way, and if it deviates from that, you know, expectation that something's wrong with it. And sadly, a lot of people miss out on good things because they have that one perception of how things should go down. But again, this is all human, and here's the shift. A reading is not meant to give you control over outcomes, it's not, it's meant to give you awareness, and that's really what readings are for. They're they're meant to give you awareness, and that makes the huge difference if you can see it that way, and then you can see your options, and that is the only way that you can have control is to know that you have options, but a lot of people do want things to line up perfectly. But readings, I always say they're not a straight line to a prediction outcome, it's a squiggly line, lots of crazy things will happen in between, and I try to point that out to people. I've learned that over the years make it clear this is gonna be bumpy, or this is gonna happen, or that's gonna happen. Things just don't always fit like a nice little puzzle piece. So let's talk about why control doesn't work. Let's talk about control because this is where a lot of people get stuck. They're trying to control other people's actions, which you cannot. We all have free will. Other people's feelings, you cannot control other people's feelings. The timing of things you can't always, you know, and we have to learn to be patient with that discomfort of waiting for something to happen. And if there's triggers, explore why you're being triggered. The exact outcome. And that doesn't really happen that way. Even when a prediction is accurate, using the outcome is totally different on how the person perceived it. But the truth is you cannot control another person. Plus, people have free will, and you wouldn't want someone controlling you, so why do you want to control somebody else? Never try to take away someone's free will, and it doesn't make a person feel safer to control another person, because then you have to live with that intensity forever. You never get to relax and align and breathe into the situation, and if it's a constant headache, then maybe this is someone you shouldn't be around. You cannot control, you know, people's choices. People have a right to make the choice that they make, even if we don't like it. You cannot control their emotional readiness. People are ready when they're ready, they have their own story, their own filter. You you know, usually for us fixers and savers, you know, we want everybody to feel good and we see the potential and everyone, but it's all a projection, right? When we do that, and we're not allowing the person to walk their journey, they have to walk their own path, and it's not about satisfying us, it's about them learning about themselves. And when readings are used in an attempt to control, they actually create anxiety. A lot of people get anxious, it creates anxiety that wasn't really there or very mild, obsession, yes, lots of that. Repeated readings, which is fine. I I don't care if someone calls me as long as we're growing into the reading. I don't care if someone calls all the time. It depends on what they're doing with. You know, are they learning? Are they growing from each reading? But if we're stuck on the same thing and not going somewhere, I tell them, let's move this along. And how I do that is I bring in my psychic life coaching, and people who get readings from me know I also coach. I ask them, How are you feeling? What are you hoping for? You know, what why do you need it to be this way? I kind of explore with them because you you know, we have this false belief that everybody else's life is great and ours isn't. A lot of people think that way, and it isn't true, and what you're seeing is just one moment in time of someone's life, even if you see someone who's in a great relationship, you don't know the work that they did to get there. You don't know how much therapy, you don't know how much forgiveness, because if you're in a good relationship, you did some forgiving along the way, and no matter what, it doesn't even have to be about an affair or something, but you did some form of forgiving to have a great relationship, and so we see things and go, I want that, but we don't know what people did or what work they did to get there. So don't assume everybody else's life is fine. I've heard that plenty of times in readings, but that isn't so. Everybody's battling something, but you know, you may see them at a good point, but you you know, we all have work to do, and you know, also you can create emotional dependency, and I like to coach. Readings are fine, they're fine. I love giving them, I have received my share, you know, of readings. They are fine if you're allowing it to expand you and to grow you, but if you're someone that's like win, win, I need this now, I need this now, that isn't what readings are for. Because when you're trying to manage something that's outside of your control, it will always feel unstable. We just can't control another person or many situations, we only can control ourselves to some extent. So let's talk about what readings are actually for, yes. So if readings are not for control, what are they for? Readings are for awareness, you know, definitely to make you aware of a situation or what's going on so that you can know how to handle the situation. Because sometimes you need to know what's going on behind the scenes, or you know how to approach a job interview, or you know, a situation with a friend, family member, romantic partner, you know, your own awareness, like what are you understanding about the situation? Insight. Yes, it gives you a lot of insight into it. Reflection, to reflect on things too, you know, to look at where you're at. You you know, a lot of times people are hoping that a reading pulls them out of a situation. If I tell you something, you are the most powerful person that you ever meet in your life. You have the power to pull yourself out of situations, and sometimes you just need a strategy to do it. So I consider readings to be a life strategy, and they're also for growth, yes, it's to grow, you expand, you give you more knowledge, awareness, and they help you see what is happening beneath the surface because sometimes you really need to know what's going on beneath the surface, is very important. They also show you what energy is present, what patterns may be at play, what you might not be seeing clearly. Yes, that is very important because you need to know sometimes you you know you can save yourself from a bad situation, or sometimes you just need someone to reassure you that you're not judging, you know, someone too harshly that this is what's going on, and so you know how to deal with that person or that situation, you know how to deal with yourself in a situation. A reading is like holding up a mirror, not to tell you what to do, because you have the right to do what you want to do, it's your life. I always tell my clients it's your life. I have no business telling you how to live it, that's not my purpose, but it's to help you understand, and when you understand, you make better decisions, and that's really what it's about is helping you to understand the situation that's going on. So let's talk about understanding yourself. One of the most powerful uses of a reading is understanding yourself, yes. You know, a lot of times when people are talking to me, they have an aha moment, and they're like, Oh, and it's like, yeah, so so you know, sometimes that's my purpose. I'm just facilitating along with the reading, and people will have an aha moment and they will get clarity, and so you are understanding yourself, your patterns, your reactions, your emotional responses, and your beliefs. We all have beliefs, we all have variations and different beliefs, and so you're understanding what works for you because often what we're experiencing externally is connected to something internal. For example, why am I drawn to this situation? Why does it feel so intense? What am I learning here? That's important. If you can ask what am I learning here? You are really using your power. But a lot of times it can feel like something's done to us, something's attacking us, and yes, that could be happening, but you may be learning to get stronger, learning to get away from somebody, you may be learning your strength, you may be learning that it's time to make a decision or set a boundary. Something you will learn from the situation. Reading can help bring awareness to that, and that's where growth happens. Like I always tell people, don't call me if you want yes-no questions because they don't really answer anything. Even if it is a yes, you don't know what it takes to get to the yes, or if it's a no, you don't know why, or why it's a no. It's not good enough, yes-no, for me. For some people, it may work, but it doesn't work for me to read that way. So let's talk about understanding others. Readings can also help you understand other people, and this is why a lot of people call. They need to understand something. If they're having a situation with their romantic partner, friend, family member, co-worker, you you know, some type of situation, how to handle something, even if it's a situation outside of the norm. You know, we really don't do legal stuff, can't do legal stuff, right? We're not attorneys, but we can tell you about the personalities involved in the legal situation, just not the legal stuff. And you know, the same with health. We, you know, unless you're a medical medium, you shouldn't really be doing health as very risky. You know, you want people to go to a medical profession professional so that they have objective findings. So these readings can help you understand other people but not to control them, but to have clarity and even compassion and even knowing when to step away from that person, you may begin to see where someone is emotionally. Where is their emotional level of understanding awareness? What are they capable of in the good or bad way? Are they capable of good things, bad things, what? What are they struggling with? You know, and instead of asking how do I get them to change, because you can't, you know, sometimes I tell people you you know this person needs therapy, they need this, they need that, and they get to decide if that happens. You can give them ultimatum, but they still decide if that happens. So you start asking. Instead of asking, how do I get them to change, you start asking, is this something I want to continue engaging with? That's really what it's about. Do you want to continue to engage with this person? Is it for your highest good? A lot of times people don't want to leave a bad situation, a bad relationship, so they're hoping for a miracle, and it's like the writings on the wall. And I tell people, you're smart, you can see it. I'm just clarifying it, I'm just validating it that you know, you know what you need to do, and it may be painful, but you know what to do. And sometimes I can tell people to work out if X, Y, and Z happens. You you know, but each reading is different, right? Depends on the situation, and so empowerment and discernment is what happens when you decide how to use the information and say, is this something that I should be continuing with? You know, should I be dealing with this person? Is it time to get them out of my life? The difference between empowerment and dependency. This is a is a key distinction, right? An empowering reading leaves you feeling clear, grounded, more connected to yourself, not uplifted in everything's butterflies and rainbows and cafetti. No, that is not an empowering reading. It's just to make you clearer grounded and more connected to yourself. A disempowering dynamic leaves you feeling dependent, confused, like you need constant answers. But one thing, in order to receive a good reading, you have to show up open to it, even though we show up emotional and with biases, be open to the moment because you get more information. I always tell people the people who get accurate readings are open to hearing what the information is. Some people will just shut things down because it's not how they want to see it, and they're hoping for a confirmation that can't be given. But if you stay open, you will get clarity. The goal of intuitive work is not to create dependency, it's to strengthen your relationship with yourself. That's really what it is, because you know we get so busy in this world and we have trauma and issues and dealing with people and everything else, we forget to connect with ourselves. So let's talk about the role of free will. We also need to talk about free will. Every person has the ability to choose for themselves, right? To change, to grow or stay the same, and that is their free will, whether you like it or not. That is what they have the right to do. A reading reflects energy in the present moment, but people can't shift, situations can't evolve, and that's why trying to use readings to lock in an outcome doesn't work, because life is dynamic, it really is, and you can't really force something to work that isn't working. So let's talk about this in more detail, you know. Um, I really think that it's really important to understand that what free will is, and some things you know, you can see the outcome, you can see the prediction, but free will can determine when it happens and how it happens, and sometimes even if it will happen. So, really, you want to focus on the present moment and get a strategy and and see where it goes. I've been lucky with predictions 90-92% of the time, but nobody's a hundred percent. And sometimes I tell people, I just don't know. If I don't know something, I don't know something, I'm not gonna make it up. And I think that because integrity must come first. So let's do a somatic check-in. Let's bring this into the body. The next time you feel the urge to see control through a reading, pause. Take a breath, ask yourself, what am I feeling right now? Is it fear? Uncertainty? Desire for reassurance? Let yourself feel that. Because often what you're really needing is not control, it's safety. That's really what you're looking for, is safety. So let's talk about a healthier approach to readings. A grounded way to approach a reading is to ask, What can I learn from this situation? You know, what can you learn from the from finding out from doing this reading? How can it help you? It can help you in so many ways, right? It could give you a strategy how to deal with this person. If this is someone you can't break away from, whether it's a family member, co-worker, or you're stuck in the romantic relationship for now for whatever reason. Some people say they're stuck, whether it's financial or kids or whatever, right? And it can help you figure out how to deal with them. And what is a reading showing you about yourself? One thing it is it it will show you is that you do have power. You may not always like how you wield the power, but you have power. What do I need to be aware of? You know what you need to be aware of is that you're gonna be alright, that you will make it through, that you're gonna be okay, and in the reading you'll be given information to help you to make decisions and what feels aligned for me. You get to figure out what is your alignment, what works for you. That's what you get to do. What works for you. So let's do a final reframe. A reading is not meant to control your life, no, because we have all this fluidity. Be open to hearing something new. It's meant to help you understand it. People have told me crazy things throughout the years. People told me I was gonna be a professional psychic. I'm like, no, I'm not psychic. This is many, many years ago, right? Like, whoa, I was probably in my late teens, early twenties. People told me that I wasn't gonna go to medical school. They and I just knew I was. And people told me even in chiropractor school I wasn't gonna be a chiropractor even though I graduated and spent the money and everything. You know, I've been told stuff I was told that I will write books. I'm not a great writer, so I have to use editors, but I wrote books, right? Um that you will be told things and you might think, is that possible? No, no, and some people will shut down a reading, never shut it down unless it's just crazy or mean or super negative. Kind of hear it out and see what information you can take from it. Because that's why I don't do general readings, and I have people ask specific questions because your guys may want you to know something totally different than what you're interested in knowing. But even when you do ask a question, I tell people I want to mention everything. I'm not a yes, no, um I'm long-winded, right? I'm wordy, right? As you can tell. I feel like incomplete if I just do a short answer, unless there's just really a short answer. Sometimes a recent one is like not much information is coming. This is all that I'm getting. But if you're open, if you come as open as possible, even if you're in a tough time, you you know, uh trust me, and I know like I try to hold space and facilitate compassion and empathy for people, but if you can do that, if you can come open, you'll get so much more information and feel so much more empowered. So I'm gonna close this out. The more you understand yourself, the less you need to control anything outside of you, right? Because we really don't have control. I always tell the story how I knew I was gonna get bit, you know, by my sister's doggy, and I knew it a year before and I couldn't prevent it. So readings aren't really to prevent things. Some things are meant to happen on the path, and it was just meant to happen. And that's where true clarity comes from. So I wanna thank you for listening. Have a good day, and I see you in the next episode.