Do We Really Have Free Will? The Spiritual Truth About Choice, Fate & Destiny

The older I get, the less I trust black-and-white spiritual answers, especially around pain. Free will sounds simple until life doesn’t go to plan and you’re left asking the real questions: Was this meant to happen, did my soul choose it, and do my choices actually matter when everything feels so big? I unpack why this topic shows up after heartbreak, betrayal, loss, and spiritual awakening, and why “everything happens for a reason” can sometimes comfort us while also skipping the parts we need to feel. 

We walk through a balanced spiritual perspective on soul contracts, destiny, and personal choice. I explain the difference between the soul’s desire for growth and the human desire for comfort, then use a road trip metaphor: your soul may select a few destinations or themes, but you still choose the roads you take, the stops you make, and how you respond. That response is where free will becomes powerful, especially when you’re grieving, healing, or trying to rebuild trust in yourself. 

I also break down why divine guidance doesn’t cancel free will, why intuition is an invitation not a command, and how fate versus destiny changes when you become conscious. We talk relationships and boundaries, why you can’t control another person, and why manifestation is co-creating with the universe rather than forcing outcomes. If you’ve felt stuck, this conversation offers a calmer, more empowering way to see your life without denying your reality. 

Subscribe for more Soul Talk and Psychic Advice, share this with a friend who’s questioning their path, and leave a review if it helps. What’s one choice you’re ready to make differently now?

Transcript

Welcome And The Free Will Question

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of my podcast, Soul Talk and Psychic Advice. Today we're exploring one of the biggest questions in spirituality, personal growth, and human existence. And that is, do we really have free will? It's complicated. Yes, we do have free will. And I will explain to you why it's complicated. If you spent any time on a spiritual path, you've probably encountered different ideals. Some people believe everything is predestined. There are those people. Others believe we create our entire reality through our thoughts and intentions. Some believe our soul plans major life events before birth. Others believe we are making every decision moment by moment, and many people find themselves somewhere in the middle, wondering if my soul planned this life, where does free will fit in? If everything happens for a reason, do my choices matter? Can I change my destiny? Did I choose my challenges? What is actually under my control? These are profound questions. Today I want to share a spiritual perspective that have helped many people find peace, empowerment, and deeper trust in their journey. Because I believe all of it to be true. I don't think it's just one over the other, but we live in this world that can be very black and white where people think they have to choose one thing and be firm on it and look like they know what they're talking about. And I just don't believe that we have to operate that way.

Why We Ask During Pain

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Why this question matters? Most people ask about free will during difficult times, after a heartbreak, after loss, after betrayal, during a spiritual awakening for sure, when life doesn't go according to plan. We want to know was this meant to happen? Could I have prevented it? Did I choose this? Did they choose this? And why would my soul agree to this experience? These questions arise because we are trying to make meaning out of our experiences. And meaning is a part of being a human. It's part of being a human being. But spirituality invites us to look beyond simple answers. And there are some people who will tell someone who's going through something tough, well, you chose this, this is your spiritual contract. We sign certain contracts, right? But not everything in our life is a spiritual contract or you know, predetermined.

Grief, Bypassing, And Meaning Making

SPEAKER_00 3:09

What really made me explore this stuff is when my son died, and I knew that there was always these variations, but I never really looked into it. You know, I was busy coaching and doing readings and you know, learning energy techniques. I wasn't really sitting with this, and what I've realized is how uncomfortable people were with my son's death. So some people say, Well, you guys agreed to this. Other people say, Well, everything happens for a reason. Well, yeah, you had a brain tumor, you died, cause and effect. You know, but I think that a lot of times people do this stuff, they have these different beliefs because it's a form of coping and even a little bit of bypassing, right? When we just say, Well, everything in our life we agreed to do before we got here. No, because then what's the point of experiencing life? I would say some of it, some big things, right? Maybe some people were predetermined to marry someone and they go through life and they do great things together, but if you're in an abusive relationship, you probably didn't sign a contract for that, or if you did, you signed it to leave when it got bad. Um, I don't think everything's predetermined. I don't think we create our lives moment to moment. I think we can alter some things by manifesting, but certain things are meant, but not all of it. I think it's very gray. And I think that's to me, that's the beauty of spirituality, is that it's not about definitive answers. Because spirituality is different from traditional religion, because traditional religion, whatever your religion is, there's a lot of definitive answers there. You know, this is how it is, this is why we believe how we believe. But in spirituality, you can't find people who agree. And a lot of times us when we're learning and we're following, we believe whatever we're told, but you really want to do your own exploration and see what works for you. Because what works for me may not work for you, and it's all spiritual. I think a lot of times you you know, when people first come to spirituality, it's like from trauma, and they're looking for answers, looking for clarity, and they think if they believe that they signed up for all of this, they will feel less of a victim or less hurt, and I just don't buy into that. I think that we are here with some predetermined experiences, some soul contracts, but uh a lot of our life, I think probably half of our life is free will. I do believe that, and I do believe that we get to change certain things, like people have soulmates, and not everybody marries their soulmate because soulmates are a lot of work, they're not dreamy, you know. And I've seen people and I've talked about this in podcasts who stayed in relationships, they're like, I'm supposed to be with this person. Not if he's abusing you, honey, you know, but we we all have our different belief system. So I'm on my tangent, but I felt that was important to say.

Soul Perspective Versus Human Needs

SPEAKER_00 6:32

So let's talk about the soul perspective versus the human perspective. One of the most important distinctions we can make is the difference between the soul's perspective and the human's perspective. From the human perspective, we often focus on comfort, certainty, safety, and predictability. Because we want that safety in an unsafe world. Uh we want something to be definitive. We want things to go according to plan. But what do they say life happens when you're making plans? And you know a lot of people in their 20s have been there. You think that you can plan out your life, you can't. We want relationships to work, of course. We want to avoid pain, yes, but life does bring pain. We want happiness. The soul has a different agenda. The soul seeks growth, expansion, wisdom, healing, experience, awareness, evolution. The soul is not necessarily focused on comfort. The soul really isn't focused on comfort. The the soul is focused on learning, and sometimes the experiences that create the greatest growth are the experiences the human self would never willingly choose. I just don't think somebody would choose to sign a contract and say, Yes, my whole family is going to be murdered, and that happens a lot, right? And I'm gonna be the only one standing. I I just don't. But if somebody believes that that's their right, but I tell people you believe what works for you. That's the beauty of spirituality. And I know in my work a lot of times people call a psychic looking for comfort, but we can't always give comfort. The truth isn't always comfortable. The

The Road Trip Model Of Life

SPEAKER_00 8:24

spiritual view of free will. That makes sense. Think of it this way Imagine you are planning a road trip before you leave. You choose several destinations you would like to visit. Those destinations represent soul lessons, opportunities, relationships, and experiences. But how you travel between those destinations remains flexible. You can take different roads, you can make different choices, you can meet different people, you can stop at different places. The destination may remain the same, but the journey varies based on your choices. This is how many spiritual teachers describe free will. If you really want to have a testimony, so be careful with that stuff. Um the human personality chooses how to engage, right, with these themes that the soul may select. You may retain, well, you always retain the power to choose your responses. You do. We're we're not robots and we just can't go, well, it's part of the plan. It was meant to be, it's the right thing. You you know, a lot of times people are scared of feeling pain is not fun. You know, grief is not fun, been through a lot of it, just lost my dog 16 years. There it grief is not fun, but we can't avoid pain. And a person who thinks that they can will suffer more. And trying to explain the pain away without feeling it, right? You gotta feel it to heal it, it will make it worse.

Soul Contracts And The Myth Of Suffering

SPEAKER_00 10:53

So let's talk about soul contracts and free will. We do sign contracts, we do before we get here. Many spiritual traditions discuss the ideal of soul contracts. Soul contracts are agreements made before incarnation. These agreements may involve family members, yes. Significant relationships. Sometimes we do have contracts with certain people. Sometimes they're like, did I sign a contract to fix my family? You know, it's like, oh, you know, tough contract. Significant relationships are definitely soul contracts, teachers, students, challenges, growth opportunities, and healing experiences. You know, we sign contracts for a lot of this stuff, not all the time, but for a lot of it, if somebody's been married more than once, maybe they sign a contract for all their spouses, or maybe just one of their spouses, or two out of three or something. It varies, and that's something to keep in mind. But remember, this doesn't mean every detail of your life is predetermined because it isn't. It doesn't mean you are trapped because you're not. It doesn't mean suffering is required. It doesn't. I don't believe that we sign contracts to suffer. We may have a moment of tough pain, have to do some healing, but to stay and suffer, nah. I think the lesson becomes get out, right? That's part of the the contract is to get out. A lot of people think is to stay. Um, yeah, so suffering is not required. It simply suggests that certain opportunities for growth may be available during your lifetime. What you do with those opportunities is where free will enters. Two people can experience the same challenge and respond completely differently. The events may be similar, the choices are not. You know, like when you have a family and there's a lot of kids, and some will say the childhood was bad, and others will say it wasn't that bad. So it's all perception of what was going on. So you you know, we do have our free will and how we perceive things.

Free Will Lives In Your Response

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Why different people make different choices? Let's get into this. One of the most fascinating aspects of free will is that every person responds differently to life. Yes, two people may experience childhood trauma, one becomes bitter, one becomes compassionate, yes. Two may experience loss, one closes their heart, and one keeps their heart open. I've seen both, and sometimes we go, I'm just gonna close off for a while, or sometimes people do it for a short time, they open up, and some people they're like, No, that was just that experience, I'm gonna stay open. Or some people say I was hurt once, I can't do no more, I'm closed off for the rest of my life. So two people may experience betrayal, one remains stuck in resentment, and the other one chooses healing. The event does not determine the outcome, the response does, and that response is where free will becomes powerful. You may not control everything that happens, but you always have influence over how you engage with your experiences. Yes, we do have free will on how we respond to situations, and that's something to remember.

Awakening: Guidance Is Not Control

SPEAKER_00 14:54

Free will during a spiritual awakening. Many people encounter questions about free will during a spiritual awakening. As consciousness expands, you begin noticing patterns, synchronicities, divine timing, meaningful coincidences, intuitive nudges, yes. You may begin feeling guided and support it, yes, very much so. Direct it. This can create confusion. If the universe is guiding me, am I really choosing? Yes, the answer is yes, you are choosing. Guidance is not control. I think a lot of people think it is. They think, oh, this controlling every little step. No, guidance is uh invitation. It's it's something different. It's like your intuition may suggest a direction, your soul may nudge you toward the growth, the universe may place opportunities in your path, but you still choose whether to follow them. So free will remains intact. You hear that again? I'm gonna say it one more time. Guidance is not control. Guidance is invitation. Your intuition may suggest a direction. Your soul may nudge you towards growth, the universe may place opportunities in your path. That's the guidance, that's the invitation, but you still choose whether to follow them. So that's your free will. You get to choose whether to follow any of this. A lot of people want to say I'm being divinely guided, and they're following their intuition, that's what it is. They're trusting their intuition, and so they're tuning in to higher source.

Fate Versus Destiny And Conscious Choice

SPEAKER_00 16:55

The difference between fate and destiny. Oh, that's another one. Oh, life can be so complicated. Many spiritual teachers distinguish between fate and destiny. Fate is often described as what happens when we remain unconscious. Yes, before we heal, we repeat the patterns, repeat wounds, repeat cycles, repeat lessons. Destiny emerges when we become conscious participants in our growth, when we begin making aligned choices. That's what it is. When we listen to our intuition, when we choose healing, when we choose awareness, your future is not fixed, it is influenced by your choices, your consciousness, and your willingness to evolve. You get to choose your direction in life. You have some say in it. Don't ever feel like, oh, I get no say in nothing. Yes, you do. You know, you can choose career paths, don't say it was some of it may be predestined, but not always. You have choice.

When Free Will Feels Limited

SPEAKER_00 18:09

Why free will can feel limited. If free will exist, why do so many people feel stuck? Because guess what? Our choices is often influenced by conditioning, by trauma, by fear, by beliefs, by doubts, by nervous system patterns, attachment wounds. Many people believe they're making conscious choices when they're really actually reacting from old survival strategies. For example, a person with abandonment wounds may repeatedly choose unavailable partners. A people pleaser may repeatedly choose self-sacrifice. An overgiver may repeatedly choose burnout. These patterns can feel automatic. Healing expands free will. The more you heal, the more free will you get to use. The more conscious you become, the more choices become available. The spiritual purpose of free will. Why would the soul value free will? Because free will allows authentic growth. Imagine if every choice was predetermined. There'd be no learning, no discovery, no wisdom, no transformation, no need to be on the planet. We're here to learn. You know, no wisdom, no transformation. Could you imagine? The soul evolves through experience, through choice, through awareness, through consequences. Free will allows us to become conscious creators of our lives. You still get to create within the soul contracts. You know, it allows us to participate in our evolution rather than simply observing it. You

Relationships, Boundaries, And Self Respect

SPEAKER_00 20:15

don't just have to sit back and observe. Free will win relationships. This is where a lot of people get confused. Relationships are one of the greatest examples of free will in action. You cannot control another person's choices, you cannot force someone to heal, you can't force someone to stay. You cannot make someone love you, you cannot make someone grow. Talked about this in the prior podcast. But you can choose how you respond, what you tolerate, what you believe, what boundaries you set, who you become. This is where your power lives. A lot of times people take it, well, okay, this is my soulmate. We're meant to be together forever, so I just have to put up with this awfulness, put up with the craziness, the lying, the cheating, the the whatever. No. No, you're allowed to set boundaries, you're allowed to say I'm leaving. You know, soulmates and twin flames doesn't always mean forever and ever. I know we're addicted to this forever and ever, but sometimes it's still a reason or a season, not always a lifetime. So remember that when it comes to relationships, you still have free will and you gotta use it. The more you heal, the more free will you have, and the more you can protect yourself and attract more aligned partners.

Manifestation And Closing Perspective

SPEAKER_00 21:41

Free will and manifestation. Many people misunderstand manifestation. Manifestation is not controlling the universe because the universe ain't gonna let you control it. It's partnering with it. You can set intentions. Take a line to action, follow guidance, open yourself to opportunities, but manifestation still involves free will. Yours and everyone else's. The universe is co-creative, not controlling. So think about it. You're co-creating. And like, have you ever that's why some people don't think manifesting works because they're trying to force something. They don't even know if it's good for them. They just want to force something, they want to test the universe. And sometimes when it comes to manifesting, you have to realize you can manifest it, but it has to be in aligned with divine timing also. And the universe does not respond to pressure. Universe will just look at you like, okay, keep on. I'm gonna do it when I'm ready. What free will means for healing. One of the most empowering truths about free will is that healing remains available at any time in your life. No matter what happened in your past, no matter what your childhood looked like, no matter what mistakes you've made, no matter what pain you have experienced, you can choose healing, you can choose awareness, you can choose growth, you can choose compassion, you can choose a different path. You may not control where your journey begins, but you have influence over where it goes next. Think about it. I'm gonna close this out. My closing thoughts are, as we close today, I want to leave you with this perspective. Perhaps free will is not about controlling every event in your life because you can't, you know. Perhaps it's about how you meet those events. Perhaps your soul came here with certain themes to explore, certain lessons to learn, certain experiences to encounter. But within those experiences, you are not powerless. You are a participant, a creator, a co-author of your journey. You have the ability to choose, to heal, to grow, to evolve, to love, to forgive, to trust, to begin again. And every choice you make shapes the person you are becoming. So if you've been wondering whether your choices matter, the answer is yes. They matter deeply. Free will is one of the greatest gifts of the human experience. It is a bridge between destiny and possibility. So I want to thank you for joining me today. So until next time, be gentle with yourself, trust your inner wisdom, honor your journey, and remember your soul may provide the map, but your choices help determine the path you take to get there. You are entitled to your free will, your way, not anybody else's way, but yours. You have the right to believe what you want to believe. You can believe all these things, none of these things, some of these things. It's up to you. That is the beauty of spirituality. It's flexible. So, again, thank you for listening. Have a great day, and I will see you in the next episode.