Mom on Purpose
Mom on Purpose
Redefining Home Care: Practical Tips to Fuel Your Dreams
Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the never-ending cycle of managing your home? Join me as we uncover practical tips in managing your home that support your personal dreams and goals.
Discover how to shift your mindset from viewing household tasks as never-ending chores to understanding them as part of a continuous, cyclical process. I also invite you to seek God's help in finding the right management system that works for you and your family.
Tune in and discover this simple shift that can reduce feelings of overwhelm and enable you to pursue your dreams more effectively.
What you'll learn in this episode:
- How to align home management with your goals and life purpose
- How to break down household tasks into different categories
- Techniques to reduce feelings of overwhelm
- The difference between "done" and "cyclical" tasks
- Seeking God's guidance to create systems that support your family's unique needs
Featured on the Show:
Click HERE to watch this video to learn The 3 Things to Avoid When Reading Self-Help Books
How to Connect with Lara:
Web: www.larajohnsoncoaching.com
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Work with Lara: www.larajohnsoncoaching.com/work-with-me/
Welcome to the Mom On Purpose podcast. I'm Lara Johnson and I'm here to teach you how to get out of your funk, be in a better mood, play more with your kids, manage your home better, get your to-do list done and live your life on purpose. With my proven method, this is possible for you, and I'll show you how.
You're not alone anymore. We're in this together.
Hello, welcome back to the Mom On Purpose podcast. I am so happy and so grateful that you are here today. I love being able to talk to you. I hope you know that and throughout the week, I'm thinking about you and, as I've been thinking about some of the things that are coming up and some of the podcasts and some of the books and my clients, and I mean there's just so many amazing things that are in the works right now.
One of them I want to tell you about is, well, I guess, two things. If you haven't gone to www.larajohnsoncoaching.com and downloaded your free discover your purpose guide, go and do that. It is a fabulous resource for you. It is something I hope everybody takes and uses because it will change your life and I'm not just saying it really will because it will bring so much more joy into your home and into your heart, and that is what I hope that the guide does for you.
The second thing is I hope you're getting ready. I am in the final stages of my program that I've been building out for you. So, I have one small favor for all of you Please remind me not to do a big project in the middle of summer, when all my children are home from school. Okay, so if I get any ideas, I need you to reach out to me and remind me.
Big projects over the summer don't always go as smoothly as I want them to, which is fine, like it is what it is, and I'm grateful that it's still moving along, and it's almost done. But, yeah, it did get a little busy this summer, but I can't wait. I can't wait for you guys to be able to get that program, so hoping, within the next three to four weeks, you're going to see it and you're going to be able to start diving into some of that amazing information in the mom's ultimate blueprint.
So, what I wanted to talk about today is something that I find comes up all the time in coaching and that is because, when we're moving towards our purpose, one of the biggest obstacles my clients face is well, how can I add one more thing on my plate? I'm already drowning in so many areas of my life, with the home being a major portion of that, because managing a home is a huge time, energy and money, commitment, and whether you stay at home with your children as their primary caregiver, whether you work, whether you have a partner, whether you do not, it is a very big thing for every single one of us.
So, I wanted to talk about this because I have a firm belief that your home shouldn't take away from your dreams. Your home can support you in your dreams. When we have a home that supports our dreams, it's a very different feeling. I still get overwhelmed by my house. There's still a lot of pieces that are moving at all times, and that's okay, but it feels a lot different than it used to.
So, I wanted to talk a little bit about some of the shifts that I've made and some of the shifts I've been able to help my clients make with regards to their own home, so that they can move forward and pursue their dreams.
I think the first big shift here we're going to talk about three shifts. The first big shift is the difference between something being done and something being cyclical. When we think about things that we actually get done like something that's finished you graduate from college, that's very concrete.
That is a something that's finished, you graduate from college. That's very concrete. That is something that is completed. The end of a pregnancy that's another really big one where there's a very distinct shift where you go from being pregnant to not being pregnant. We're in the middle right now of renovations and I have not been able to. I haven't had furniture in my home in like six months upstairs.
So, we're kind of ready for furniture back and we're kind of ready for that renovation to be done Like there will be a it will just be finalized at the end of a school year, any kind of deadlines or projects at work. All of those things are things that are done, even if we think about it on a smaller level, where it's like you send an email and it's like that thing that you get to cross off your list when it's finished.
So, when we're thinking about that, what I find is the first mindset shift that so many of my clients make is that in their mind, cleaning gets done. There is a stopping point. But when you're currently living in the home, it's not ever going to be done, done, it's not ever going to be done, done.
I think the first time I really started processing this was I'm that person that, like I want to wash all of the laundry and get it all put away so I could have that feeling of being done. So, I'm like walking around in a robe and taking the clothes away from my kids because they're like getting into their pajamas.
So, I'm like taking their clothes and washing everything and while they're sleeping, I'm putting it all away so it could be done. So, what would be frustrating then is, of course, then there's more dirty clothes, because then you have pajamas or robes or towels or you know whatever that thing is, and I'd always get frustrated because I wanted that feeling. So that brings us to the next thing that we're thinking about, which is like the things that are cyclical.
Laundry is a perfect example of something that's cyclical, even something like eating. You know you're going to have breakfast and then a lunch, and I know you can argue that these things you still complete and they are finished. But I want you just to think about it on a larger scale, as something that's cyclical.
A menstrual cycle that is very cyclical. You know every month that's going to be happening. The seasons you know every season. We know, as soon as summer hits, we're entering into fall right now when I'm recording this, it's a beautiful time. It is very cyclical.
Now, when we shift the mindset of cleaning from being done to being cyclical, what it does is it releases that pressure that when somebody comes in or something happens and another mess is made, instead of being furious it's like, yep, here it is again. It's just kind of the way it is. It's kind of like every time your period starts again, you're like, well, that sucks, but here it is, here we go again, right, so it's just that moment where you're just shifting into a very different mindset.
So, it's releasing that pressure that you're putting on yourself to always have it be done. So that's kind of the first big shift that I want you to think about Okay, done versus cyclical. Now the next shift that we're going to talk about is breaking the quote unquote cleaning into four different categories. Now, in my mind there's probably more.
Okay, I'm just going to outline these because this is the way that my brain thinks about it, and I find that with my clients. This is very helpful as well. So, I think about cleaning when I say I want something clean.
I found with my very literal husband we had very different definitions of what clean was and I was genuinely confused for the first couple of years of our marriage, cause I would go into our cute little two-bedroom apartment and say, okay, it's time to clean, and I would move like the Tasmanian devil and I would move around our little apartment and I'd get everything clean and I'd come back.
This was a very distinct memory. And he's sitting there it's been like three hours and he's sitting with his file folders, like organizing his files. I was very frustrated. I'm like we're cleaning and he's like, yeah, that's what I'm doing, like I just scrubbed everything. He's like, okay, but I'm cleaning. So, for him, his mind was very different on that definition.
So that really led me to think about okay, what is the definition of cleaning? Oh, there's different kinds of definitions of cleaning. How can this help my brain which led me to these four categories cleaning? How can this help my brain which led me to these four categories?
So, the first one is the de-junking, or in the organizing, the thing where you're like removing stuff, you're making it look a certain way, you're refolding things, you're making decisions on if you should keep it, if you shouldn't. All of that is one category.
The next category is the picking up, like the day-to-day monotony of things like shoes on the floor, socks on the floor, dishes in the dishwasher, like in my mind that's more just the day-to-day things. Then there's like the deep cleaning. That's the third category. When you go into like the deep cleaning, that's like the scrubbing of the toilets, that's more of the once a week, once a month kind of thing, maybe once a year, depending on where you're at in your life or the area of your home. I don't really care, but that's kind of like that.
Next category is really getting down to like the dirt of things and the grime and fixing that. And then there's the last category and I think we really miss out on this category when we talk about cleaning and maybe you put it in a different area, but this in my mind is always daunting and that's the changing out of stuff. If you like seasonal decorations, that's a changing out.
Anytime your kids grow out of their sizes of clothes, like that's a changing out. Some people change the seasons of their clothing for their kids. You know, bringing out all the winter stuff we live where there's snow, you got to have that. In the summer you're bringing swimsuits out, so that's like its own category.
So those are the four the de-junking, organizing, the picking up, the deep cleaning and the changing out. So, when I'm looking at each of these four categories, this gives me permission to kind of move back and forth between that done category and that cyclical. Now in my mind and this is just the way I think about it when I'm de-junking and I'm organizing, I know it's not going to stay like that forever. I know that. You know that too.
I know you do as much as we want it to, but you know that, like bit of dopamine hit where you just feel good after you've, like, pulled everything out of a closet, you've gotten rid of stuff, and you put it all back. That is like one of those natural highs that feel amazing. In my mind, that's something that's more done, where I get that high, where I can walk away, and it feels good. And I know this about myself and I'm fine with it.
But I use this when sometimes in my life I just need to control something, something that I just want to get that high, that feeling of done. That's what I use my projects for, my de-junking for. That becomes a lot of fun, where I'm like losing my mind over just the craziness of life, and I'll pull apart some drawer in the kitchen and all of a sudden it looks better and I'm happier and I'm in a better mood.
Because that one little drawer you know in the back of your mind, has this nice little sexy organization to it, even though the whole rest of the house might be a mess. But that's where, in my mind, junking and organizing fits more into that done category.
Now, when I think about picking up, picking up is so cyclical and the more we wait to feel good, like to have that done feeling with like cleaning in the house or the picking up the house, we will always be holding out for that feeling because we just don't get it, because picking up is so cyclical. Just like you eat three meals a day, just like you brush your teeth morning and night, there is like a picking up that happens every single day, it just is.
Now when I think about picking up, it's endless. I just know there's certain areas that that's going to happen. Now when I get to deep cleaning. What's fascinating is deep cleaning in my mind, although it is more cyclical. Yes, I do think of it as more cyclical, but there is a different feeling. It's kind of like mowing the lawn to me.
It's at least a little bit longer that it stays that way, and it feels very therapeutic to me to go into like that deep cleaning mode where you find that flow and you're like kicking everybody out of the house, you're turning the music on and you just need a couple hours of like in that flow where you can just have so much fun. That right there comes and goes for me in my home, based on the circumstances of our lives.
Now we're coming out of a time where, like I mentioned, we're in renovations. I'm coming, I'm almost two years postpartum, but in there I also had a broken leg and tore my ACL and had to have surgery and you know. So, in this period I know I'm not deep cleaning as often as I would like to and that's okay.
I've given myself that permission. I just know we're in that season where it's not the top priority, where it's going to be happening once a week. It might be well it is. It is happening when something gets so bothersome that I'm like I can't take it anymore and it might be 11 o'clock at night. I'm cleaning my bathroom and I'm okay with that.
There's been times in our lives where we have had somebody come in and help clean the home and do that deep cleaning. That's not the phase that we're in right now, but that might be something that's useful for you, okay. So just think about all these different ways. You know that you can enter in that deep cleaning.
I find for me that I don't like little people underfoot when I'm deep cleaning. I know we should be teaching our children these things and there is a time and a place, but in my mind that is more into that picking up category than it is that deep cleaning, because deep cleaning is sacred to me.
Where I get to just like go and control something. Okay, picking up like, yeah, I let the kids enjoy all of that. They're going to need to learn all of these skills someday, but right now, that is the phase I'm in in my life.
And then there's that last one where we're thinking about changing out things. Changing out, like I mentioned, is not my favorite. My children love to decorate for holidays. That is not my style, and I have made peace with the fact that every time we decorate for Halloween or Christmas or whatever, I'm going to be slightly annoyed, and I'm okay with that, because it's just that one little extra thing that has to be done and I just don't like it.
That's why I really bring in my kids. My kids are fantastic at decorating things, and they enjoy it so much, so I'm able to move that into like. This is more of a done project where they can come in and decorate and be done for however long, and then we put it away and it's done, and I really, really like that feeling of when it all goes back in the box.
So that's what kind of helps me through that one where I know there's going to come a point where I put all of those things away. The only time I really don't like that is when I have to put my sweaters away, because I'm someone that always wants to be cozy in a sweater. Even if I don't want to decorate for fall, I do want to wear the sweater. So, all of that comes down to our very last point, which is the way we think about cleaning.
Okay, so I've offered a couple different like. The first mindset shift, is that done versus cyclical? The second is like breaking it into four different areas and then being able to manage your mind and learn the tools within those each area. And then the third is feeling like how do we feel about cleaning our home?
As I mentioned, when it comes to changing out, I'm fine with being annoyed. I could probably coach myself in it. I don't really care. It's one of those areas where I just don't enjoy and I'm okay not enjoying it and there's other things I would rather be working on. So, for me, I'm okay with that.
Now, when it comes to picking up, I've actually done a lot of coaching for myself around that area because it happens so frequently. I didn't want to spend every day annoyed. So, when I'm looking at it and I start feeling really overwhelmed by it, one of the shifts in my mind I always come back to, instead of thinking there's stuff everywhere.
Because that was so overwhelming to me, I'd come back and think, okay, there are 17 items on the floor, like I would actually go through and count them, because for some reason, when I brought it back to an actual number, I didn't feel as overwhelmed.
Okay, so every time as you're going through this, that's where I want you to really check in with your brain, with your body, see how they're talking to each other, because when you start working with your brain and body, that is when your home starts supporting your dreams and your purpose instead of taking away from it supporting your dreams and your purpose instead of taking away from it.
I am a firm believer that if God is calling you to something, then he knows he's got to help in the home, creating some kind of systems that work for your family. You can call upon him. Call upon him to help you figure this out.
That is something I know so much to be true and I have seen it time and time again. He does not want you to feel so overwhelmed in your home. He wants to help you answer your call and your purpose, because that is how, collectively, we can all work together for the betterment of his children, for the betterment of all of us.
All right, there you have it. As you can tell, it's something I'm very passionate about, so I hope that you can take this and find something that can help you in your home this week.
I'll see you next time.
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