Empowering Women In Conversations

Running on Empty: How to Reclaim Your Energy and Stop People-Pleasing

• Anita Sandoval • Season 3 • Episode 25

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What was your biggest Takeaway from this Episode! I would Love to hear from you!

The Lie of Self-Sacrifice: Why Women Are Taught to Burn Out

Are you constantly giving but still feel empty at the end of the day? You're not alone—and it’s not your fault.

In this powerful episode, Anita Sandoval sits down with Cara-Michele Nether, Licensed Acupuncturist and founder of Strength & Vitality Wellness, to uncover the deeper reasons women are running on empty. Together, they explore the intersection of people-pleasing, burnout, and generational programming that teaches women to sacrifice their energy in order to belong.

You’ll learn:

  • Why self-care is more than spa days—it’s your survival strategy.
  • How people-pleasing is hardwired into the nervous system.
  • What happens when women choose themselves, and how to deal with the backlash.
  • How to start reclaiming your energy with just 5 minutes a day.
  • The truth about creating momentum, not perfection.

This episode is your reminder that you deserve to feel good, and you don’t need permission to prioritize your well-being.

🧠 Join My FREE Masterclass:

🎓 “5 Days to Start Saying No: The First Step from People-Pleaser to Empowered”
Ready to stop shrinking yourself for others and start standing in your truth?

➡️ Join the FREE masterclass now
 Limited spots available. Get the tools to start breaking the cycle in just 5 days.

🔗 Connect with Cara-Michele Nether:

🌐 Website: strengthvitalitywellness.com
📘 Facebook: @strengthvitalitywellness
📸 Instagram: @strengthvitalitywellness
🔗 LinkedIn: Strength & Vitality Wellness Center
📚 Book: Fuel Your Engines → Available on Amazon

💖 Connect with Host Anita Sandoval:

🌐 Website: anitasandoval.com
 📸 Instagram: @anitasandoval_lpc
📘 Facebook: @anitasandovallpc
🎥 YouTube: @anitasandoval

📣 Subscribe & Share

✨ Loved this episode? Please follow the show, leave a review, and share it with a woman who’s ready to stop surviving and start truly living.

Anita: I'd like to welcome Ms. Cara-Michele Nether to the show. She is from Strength and Vitality [00:01:00] Wellness, welcome. Thank you. I appreciate this opportunity.

People pleasing, it's part of the autonomic nervous system. Mm-hmm. The fight, flight, freeze, people pleasing, appease, . Looking at your information, I just said, you know what? My audience needs to hear this, and if you can just tell me a little bit about yourself. Yeah.

Cara Michelle: Thank you, Anita. You know, I've been a, a health and wellness practitioner, focuses on women's health for the last 20 years. And to tell you the thing that I've learned is that. You know, women will come in and they'll have back pain or hormonal dysregulation, or they're not sleeping well at night, hot flashes, all kinds of things like that.

But really that only matters to them because it keeps them from actually showing up the way that they want to in the life that they dream about, the life that they have in their head, how they wanna be in relationship with the people and the projects that really are important to them and that they care about.

, We really want to be, the show up in, [00:02:00] at high levels with the people, be patient and thoughtful and playful with the people that we care about. But we really want to do that from a place of values, right? Like, what's important to me?

What is it that I need? And that, and when we are clear about that, then we're able to go forward and be our best selves with everybody else. Ah, yes. Yes. And I love that we're working together to help women here in the community become better versions of themselves. , I want the audience to know a little bit about you.

What got you into this aspect of strength and vitality? Sure. You know, when I was little, I watched my mom, my grandmother, and, and all the women in my family really wear themselves down trying to take care of every need for all the people in their family that they cared about, and their friends and support, and the community support supporting their communities.

, You know, it's, it always felt like it was a double-edged sword. It was kinda like I grew up wanting to be that woman as well, [00:03:00] but I really saw the detrimental, , impact of giving, giving, giving, and not focusing on their own care that. Not looking at whether or not they were sleeping well or eating, nutritious foods or taking a break or relaxing.

It was always give, give, give and, that had some detrimental effects on a lot of the women that were important to me when I was younger. And so when I. Just trying to decide what kinda work I was gonna do. I just knew that I wanted to work in women's health, diabetes, and, , heart disease runs in my family, and, I just had a feeling that it didn't need to be that.

There's no badge. Mm-hmm. For, being the most worn out mother. You know, there's, there's no badge for being the most tired and frustrated wife, you know, but we kind of act like that. We kind of act like we we're not going to be able to give at a, an appropriate level unless there's some detrimental effects back to [00:04:00] us.

Ah. I love how you said that because one of the things I say with people pleasing and appeasing is that we're fighting from society's programming and generational culture of you have to be pleasing, appeasing, and you have to do the self sacrifices of female to the point of burnout so that society could welcome us and we could feel this sense of love and belonging.

Oh, you're burned out, you're over exhausted. Welcome to the club. That's right. It's. We would never say that to one another. Mm-hmm. We wouldn't speak that. Oh, you know, you gotta be tapped out in order to be a great mom. Yeah. Or be a great wife, but, but there's a subculture. The conversation is happening underneath the surface and we get that information.

We are. Programmed., It is,, validated , through each other that that's what's gotta happen in order for us to be the kind of people that, you know, we always grew up dreaming. We could be, oh yes, it's like we're in our conflict of who we wanna become, but [00:05:00] also what our family wants us to implicitly be.

With people pleasing, that behavior, they often put themselves first. So what are the first steps towards building a self-care practice that doesn't feel selfish, overwhelming, or that sense of self-sacrifice? I think the very first step is that we have to just all agree that we deserve to feel good while we're taking care of the people and the projects that we love.

That those two things can go together. You know, I was thinking, I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago about the women's suffrage movement. Yes. You know, a hundred plus years ago, there wasn't even the concept in women's minds that they would be better off if they had some say in the trajectory of their lives that it was appropriate for them to have, say, in local governments and national governments or, you know, like that was all put off to someone else.

These days, that's not a thing, right? Like, women know they know they should have this, they, [00:06:00] they take advantage of this. This just is a part of normal life. I think that a hundred years from now, women are gonna look back at us and they're gonna say the same thing. You know, women just wore themselves out.

They didn't sleep well, they didn't take care of themselves. Gosh, it's too bad. They didn't really realize that they had the right to feel mentally and physically strong while they were taking care of their kids and their family and their parents and their friends., It's it like we just, somewhere along the line, and this is my mission.

Mm-hmm. 

Somebody's gotta stand up and say, you know what, this is nonsense we're not thinking clearly here. And this doesn't have to be this way. So let's start a conversation. And that's really one of the reasons I wanted to be on your podcast, because you're all about this conversation.

Yeah. And I think that's what's necessary. We just need to start. Say out loud. Mm-hmm. Saying something different and new to each other. Oh yes. And you know, and [00:07:00] the other thing is too, is the backlash. 'cause I remember I've always been very empowered, like I can buy my own flowers type of deal. But with my husband, he's very modern as well.

And one of the biggest things here in the Mexican American household is that women serve the. They're men and the misogynistic idealism, right? People pleasing and all that stuff. And so when we went to a family barbecue or we just just went to a barbecue and I had my kids, and so I couldn't be getting up and feeding my husband.

He's a grown man. He gets up, serves himself. You see the women looking over there like, what the heck? Not only does he serve himself, he serves me. He sits down next to me so he could help feed one of our children while I, so I could eat, didn't even eat first, had allowed me to eat first so that I could be, you know, having the energy to then take care of our children.

And they were just. Flabbergasted, like how dare she type of look. And you [00:08:00] know, so many of our listeners, they give that much to themselves and they're so afraid of the backlash. Yeah. What, what advice could you give them when it comes to that? You know, that's a good question. I, I've never been asked that question.

, I think it's, we need to bring the conversation to the surface yeah. \ Like there, there's definitely older generations that, you know, they watch their parents, their, their mother grandmothers do it and watch their mothers do it. And so we're just, we're just following along.

Sometimes. Maybe we don't need to say anything. Maybe we don't need to convince anyone else. Sometimes the change happens because you are the example. Mm. Right. When people see, oh, you mean that can actually work? You know, like he can actually get up and take care of that. You know, my my mom and dad are, are the same as, as what you are saying you do with your husband.

So it's just, it's a different conversation, you know, and so someone. Just [00:09:00] has to get started. Yeah. And, and maybe it's not worth having a tough conversation with relatives, maybe it's just more about just doing your thing. Yes. I remember you had said about the badge, who's gonna give you a badge with self-sacrifice?

You're not gonna get a badge, you're not gonna get a trophy. What about when you actually do something for yourself and you're not people pleasing. What you're gonna get a the Scarlet letter. No, nothing's gonna happen. Either people's gonna have their own opinions, but their opinions are relevant to you.

And so you're not gonna go to jail, you're not going to, , have something happen if you just do what you want and not people please. And I think that's the mentality of what needs to break through and being the example like you and me seeing that there is. There is a possibility that we can be empowered and do take care of us, of ourselves before others is crucial.

Absolutely. Yeah. , If I could share a, [00:10:00] yeah. Another quick story. A, a friend of mine was telling me how her mom, who was in her nineties when she passed away, said,, and she was super proud to say that her husband never changed a diaper in his life. You know, he saw, she saw her son's wife asking her son to participate.

Can you get the bottle for the baby? Can you change the diaper? And she was flabbergasted. My friend's mom was just flabbergasted and was so proud to say, well, my husband never changed the diaper. Look, that's not the way that a lot of families do it anymore. Right? And so if the, the tide is changing, you just have to be the one to step up and do that.

Make those changes in your circle. 

Anita: Mm-hmm. 

Cara Michelle: Right? Like we all have our own inner circles and someone's gotta be the first, and then there'll be a ruffle, and then it'll settle down. And I bet you when those women go home, they're looking at their husbands and elbowing them. Like, how about you? Can we do this too?

Come on. [00:11:00] And maybe if not, because I know that I've had, a specific family, not family member, but specific,, relatives that are older than me. That are very traditional. Yeah. And they are, wear it like a badge. My husband's never changed a diaper. Yeah. And then right in front of them, when my children were small, like, honey, it's your turn.

And he'll go, okay, I'm gonna go change your diaper. And they're like, oh my gosh. And then of course you hear through the chisme, through the gossip of others going, guess what? Look at her. What kind of mom she is? She, she didn't, she couldn't even change the diaper. And so even if they decide to not want to follow suit, one thing I know and I can't feel their feelings, but they're seeing the difference.

They're seeing the difference and they're just don't know what to do with it. So they may criticize and that's okay. That's their decision. That's right. If their decision is that they want to live that traditional life. Great on them. If they want to lose their sense of self, great on them. My sense of [00:12:00] self has to do with what I can and cannot do and take care of my energy and that's okay.

With people pleasing, 'cause I we're talking about energy and how we have to, do everything but with people pleasing the listeners who are overly exhausted, burnt out, do more than others, to the point of where they have almost little to no energy.

How does it affect them directly, the women's energy and wellbeing? You know, the one thing that we have to remember is that everything we say and everything we do comes from the mental and physical energy reserves that we have in that moment. 

Anita: Mm-hmm. 

Cara Michelle: Really,, all the running around and doing all the stuff that we're doing is really about relationships in our lives, right?

We want to show up for folks, we wanna help, we wanna support all of those kind of things. And so if that's what we're really trying to do, don't we think that the people we're caring for that they deserve the best [00:13:00] version of us? Don't we deserve that peace of mind inside ourselves when we lay down at night and it's quiet and we're thinking and about the day.

How many of us really struggle with this internal conversation saying, you know, I, I wish I had have said that differently, or, I wish I hadn't have got upset over there, or, I wish I had have been able to this, that, or the other. You see, we're not, we're not helping the people that we wanna help and, and mourn above that.

We're not helping ourselves by not putting some focus on making sure that we show up the way we really want to. And the only way to do that. Is to make sure that we have the right mental and physical self-care practices in place. So that we can refuel these trillion, 30 trillion cells that are in our body.

I think that self-care has gotten a little bit, twisted over the years. We think that self-care, it can be, going to get our nails [00:14:00] done or having lunch with the girls, maybe going to do some shopping. And those are great things, of course. But I put those in a category of self, of, of stress management.

Okay. Which is one of the silos of. One of the foundations of self-care, but really self-care is about refueling reenergizing, the 30 trillion cells that make up our mind and our body, our physical physicality. Because if those cells don't have the environment that they need, then we we're not gonna have hormonal regulation.

Mm. We're not gonna have mental energy. We're not gonna be able to have the right kind of cognition to remember all the details. We're not gonna have a strong digestive system, so then we're not gonna feel well. Mm. How does that impact relationships and families? I mean, let's think about it.

How easy is it to be thoughtful, patient, playful, think outside the box when you're not sleeping [00:15:00] well. Hmm. Or you got stomach aches every day, or you're dealing with migraines. If we're not feeling our best mentally and physically, then we're gonna be, we're gonna be fussy, we're gonna be grouchy, we're gonna be impatient, we're gonna be wanting to be left alone.

We're not gonna wanna be bothered. Right. And so we are, we are giving conscious, unconscious signals. To the people that we're really trying to, to be there for. Wow. So you're not giving your best selves to that person, and then because you're not giving their best selves, you're just giving that part, but then it's affecting them.

It's like a domino effect. That's right. It affects them. And then you see that and then it affects you. 

Anita: You 

Cara Michelle: see, it's never that we're not going to take care of the people that we love. We are going to do everything that we can to support them and take care of them. The problem [00:16:00] comes when we are not able to live up to the, to our own internal expectations.

There's a way that you want to be, with your husband, I would imagine. There's a way that you want to be with your children. There's a way you wanna be with your friends or your church groups or your work work colleagues. And when you're unable to do that, we notice that they might not notice it right away, but we notice it.

And so then it turned we, turned it, that internal conversation turns on us. And then we're, we're feeling, , sad. We're feeling, like we don't trust ourselves. We're, we're fussy with ourselves, with negative conversation. And it's just this big, nasty cycle. Wow. So then what I'm hearing is if you take care of your self care, you take care of your energy, you're gonna give that best part to your children, and then it's gonna reflect back to you with your perceptions that I'm doing the best I can in taking care of them.

And then they're gonna [00:17:00] reflect that to you as well, because you are taking care of yourself. Correct? That's right. Absolutely. Your relationships grow because you're giving. You are able to slow. I would imagine that when you are talking with your children mm-hmm. You know, from their facial expressions, how they're moving around, how they sit down, how they preface the conversation, what it is, who kind of, what's going on.

You can see that there's a problem and there's a need. Yeah. You know how to approach them. Yeah. But it's hard to tap in and use all of these senses that we have to really zone in and, and connect with this person. When you're managing on four hours of sleep, This whole week? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Like how are you going to now speak to them and zero in. With whatever the best need they, whatever the best, conversation or question or just being a good listener, whatever it is that they really need. In that moment, when you are fully fueled [00:18:00] mentally and physically, you can hit it like this.

Right? You just know 'em. Yeah. But when you're tired and worn out and you don't want to be bothered, you really just want to go to bed, you're in pain, whatever it is. Your brain is just not on them. It's over here trying to take care of you, deal with the stuff that's going on with yourself.

You're trying to survive. Yeah. Yeah. So you're not living, you're surviving. Absolutely. Wow. So then what are some self-care practices they can do that isn't selfish, that isn't overwhelming, that some baby step self-care practices they can do to work on themselves so that way they can live instead of survive.

Absolutely. You know, Anita, I, again, I've been practicing, , in women's health for 20 years and I haven't, had, never have I had a woman come in. Who did not know the basics of self-care. 

Anita: Mm-hmm. 

Cara Michelle: You know, if you stop some, a group of women on the street, they would say, and you say, you know, tell me what it is you need to do for yourself.

They would all say, I know I should probably eat a little better. I should probably drink more water. I need to [00:19:00] exercise more, get better sleep. We all know the basics of self self-care. The difficulty is. Being able to implement those practices in our lives on a regular basis. 

Anita: Okay. We can 

Cara Michelle: all hit it every once in a while.

Anita: Mm-hmm. 

Cara Michelle: Right. But, but can we get to day two or can we get to day three? That's where it gets tricky. Yeah. And so we never, ever really get the benefits. Of the thing that we know we should do. We sit, we know that if I exercise better, I'm gonna have more energy. But we never get it. We never get to that point because we, we we're, we either do too much.

So here's one of the tips. Mm-hmm. Women always try to do a ton at one time. We try to take it on all at all at once. Everybody's a go-getter. I got it. Don't worry. I can handle it, . they called them supermoms. That's right. Absolutely. I hate that word. Absolutely. Yes. That's right.

That's right. And so, but the truth of the matter is [00:20:00] every woman is holding a tremendous amount on their shoulders already. Yeah. And then you throw in a new exercise program , taking you from, 10 years on the couch to running 10 miles every other day. You're gonna be sore, you're gonna be tired, you're not gonna want to, it's gonna interrupt your day.

You're not gonna be sleeping well. You, you definitely aren't gonna feel like you wanna get up and go after that because your body's not accustomed to it and neither is your mind. So now we've actually done the opposite. We don't wanna exercise again. Okay. Because, because of how we felt after doing so much.

So it's so much better, as you alluded to a moment ago, it's so much better. To take the practices that you know. Let's go through exercise, nutrition, drinking more water, getting better sleep. Let's just look at those four. 

Anita: Okay. 

Cara Michelle: Which one of those things, this is, this is what I'd like for your re your listeners to do.

Which one of those four do you feel [00:21:00] like you can access? The easiest. Maybe you've had, you know, years in your life where you were exercising regularly, or you, you know, drinking more water has been something that's, you feel like it can be easy for you to get back into, pick that one thing and just start to be, have some level of consistency with it at whatever level feels like you can handle today over, and over and over again.

So, for example, let's say you choose exercise, okay? But you haven't been exercising very much over the last five years. We don't wanna do that example we just gave, we don't want to get sore and tired and not want to go back to it. So would it be okay? And do you have room for maybe five or 10 minutes?

Three times a week. 

Anita: Okay. Okay. We 

Cara Michelle: can start there. And most women would say, yeah, I, I got five minutes that I could spend right? The thing that we are really [00:22:00] after here, the exercise, the stretching, the, the water, the nutrition, that's all. Those are all tools for building a new mindset. One that says. I want to have a healthy lifestyle, not just do things every once in a while.

Mm-hmm. And the way for me to get myself there is to acknowledge that I need to feel good while I'm stretching, while I'm doing the exercise, while I'm eating the new food, all of those things. So we want to do it in a manner that allows us to feel good while we're doing the self-care. And so if you're at the beginning of your new practice, do it just a little bit until that becomes easy.

Three times a week, you do that for two weeks, for five minutes, no problem there. Then you bump it up to seven minutes or 10 minutes. Okay. You see, we're, we're sometimes we're in a hurry to get to a destination, and that's because our [00:23:00] minds aren't really clear that what we're really trying to do is feel good now and as we age.

Wow. And it's about the journey, not the destination. Yeah. Yes. And you know, go ahead. It's not a one you, it's not a a one stop shop, right? Like we can't just exercise for this much and then we're done for our lives, right? So we're trying to actually create a new identity. One that this is my lifestyle.

I take care of myself as a lifestyle. Wow. I love that. And that, that's basically what I say. 'cause when I tell them, okay, you wanna become empowered, you wanna become resilient, you wanna become authentic. Well, in order to become, you need to destroy. You need to destroy that old you. That you were doing that identity and become this new identity, and that takes time.

You can't shock the system and go, okay, I'm becoming this one person [00:24:00] one day to the other. It takes time to build, like you said, five minutes, six minutes, seven minutes, you know, just going increasing. But the misconceptions that people have, and this is what I'm hearing, is that they go, okay, well I'll start this.

And they only start it when things go awry and they're going, okay, I need to do this because I need to make a change. But when things settle down, they go revert back to the old behaviors. And then they go, well, why did this happen again? This bad thing? And I'm like, well, have you maintained the new behaviors?

Well, no. Well then, you know, you get the old behaviors, you get the old results, you get the new behaviors, you get the new results. And then when you said, Hey, well how long do I have to be doing this then for the rest of your life? And you know. When, when in saying that, when you say, 'cause I know you've mentioned a word in, in your website, fuel your engines.

What does it mean to fuel your engines? [00:25:00] Especially for someone who lost themselves in a relationship? Mm, mm-hmm. You know, fuel Your Engines is the name of my, my book that I wrote a few years ago, and I wrote that because I really want to help women understand that we have to be conscious of the fact that.

Our bodies need certain environment in order to operate at optimal levels. Mm-hmm. You know, I happen to believe that we are spiritual beings riding in a physical body. Mm-hmm. 

Anita: Right? Yeah. And so 

Cara Michelle: just like when we go to get into our car, we know that the car needs certain things in order for it to take us where we want to go.

Okay. And so if we want our physical body and this brain that we have to take , where we want to go. Let's say we're getting out of an old relationship and we're trying to start again. We're trying to think fresh. We will try to dream about what is it that I want for myself and how do I get myself there?

That requires a lot of mental energy. It take [00:26:00] it, you know, to be able to think forward, to come up with examples, to try to get some inspiration, to try to be courageous enough to be honest with ourselves, what you know about what it is that we truly want. It requires energy and a lot of women just don't do it because they just don't have it.

They're tapped out. Wow. So when they're tapped out, and this is like, I'm a big believer that when they're tapped out and they can't do it alone, this is where a support system or professional help would come in handy. What are your thoughts on that? I, I 100% agree, like too many of us have this idea that we need to go it alone, that we have to fix everything ourselves.

I think that that really slows us down. I think it is detrimental mindset. I think it gets in the way and it keeps us from actually. Reaching our full potential. We, we are human beings. Human beings are a societal, [00:27:00] creatures. Yeah. Like we need each other. We feed off of support and learning from one another.

And so, like yourself, I also have communities I created those because. It's just super important to not feel like you're out there trying to sort through everything by yourself. Okay. Let's come together and talk about this out loud so that we can hear what's working so that number one, we can hear that we're not by ourselves, like we're not the only ones having the trouble.

I. Right. 

Anita: Yeah. 

Cara Michelle: Yeah. And then, you know, how are other people solving it? How are other people thinking about this? Maybe it's just how I'm framing it all. Maybe it's my perspective that's slowing me down. Let me hear how some other women are thinking about this. My, and maybe that helps me have a new perspective.

So it's very, very community is, is essential, is is the answer to that question. Okay, I love that. And so that you know you're not alone, so that you know that it's not just in your head that you [00:28:00] know, and then you support one another. Going through that same journey in different ways, of course, but knowing that you're not alone in this journey and you, our support is key to becoming healthier and finding your identity.

The other thing is this, if. All of a sudden something happens and their life is turned upside down, chaotic act of God, something happens. How can they be consistent within their energy, the vitality and self-care when things get chaotic? We have to, remember that we are the center.

Like what, what it is that we have to give. It's gonna come from this, these energy banks that are within us. You know, people in our lives want our support. They want our guidance, they want our help. But they, have an idea of how you're going to present it to them.

They want the best version of you. You want to give the best version of you, and it [00:29:00] just can't happen if you're not taking care of yourself. That's not how our physiology works, is what I wanna say. There is no other way to do it. Okay? So if we are wanting to, if we have a vision of who we want to be, how we wanna show up, what kind of activities we wanna be involved in, what kind of impact that we want to have, we just have to accept that the only way to get those things done at the level that feels really good to us is to have the energy behind us.

To be able to think creatively, thoughtfully, to be patient, to be able to move around, be mobile without pain and, and fatigue and all the other things, all the other adjectives that really impede us from, blooming and, and being the best version of ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yes. I love that. I love how you said that about being the best version of ourselves, having the energy to do that and.[00:30:00] 

You know, within your practice, the 20 years, can you explain to the listeners how that phase, stages of change looks like when it comes to that energy? , Starting from failed relationship or lost identity burnout, exhausted, overwhelmed energy. How do they know they're actually shifting?

What are some of the main things that you see that they're moving towards the best versions of themselves? I would like to lay out what I call the progression arc. Right? Okay. Okay. So when you're trying to start. Making new, put new practices into your life, you're gonna feel really awkward.

It's gonna feel a little clunky because you're just not familiar with it. So I think it's useful to have a practice mentality. 

Anita: Okay. 

Cara Michelle: If anyone played basketball in high school or on the the cheer team or did the what you know, softball, whatever it might be, you went to work with someone [00:31:00] to be able to help you figure out the fundamentals of the activity that you're working on.

So for basketball, you need to learn how to dribble and the shoot and the pass, right? Those are fundamentals of basketball. , As we get older, we think, you know, because we're grown women, we just think that we don't need the, that we should know everything. We, we shouldn't have to Ah, yes.

Common, irrational belief. I hear you. Yeah. Right. And so we get stuck because we're, we are not willing to just have an empty cup. Right. There's a difference between drinking water and being fully hydrated. Okay. When you're fully hydrated, that's when you're gonna get the benefits of water. 

Anita: Mm, the 

Cara Michelle: energetic benefits of water.

When you're more energized, your brain's gonna run. A lot smoother and faster. You can remember things quicker. Your joints are gonna feel less inflamed. Gonna reduce inflammation, right? Wow. You're definitely gonna sleep better. You're gonna be able to get into a deeper sleep better, right? [00:32:00] So when you start to notice that those things are showing up more in your life, you just feel more energized, more ready to participate and engage.

Then you know that you're headed in the right direction. But in the beginning, we just don't have those clues right away because we're trying to get the rhythm. We're trying to get some momentum. Okay? So we practice until we get that momentum. And when you have momentum. You don't even have to think about it quite as much as you did before.

There's not as much, it is not as clunky. It's kind of like, yeah, I kind of know what I'm doing here. I, I know where to put my shoes and my, my workout clothes. I know what it is. I'm going to,, what video I'm going to follow. Right? You kind of have all the stuff in place. Really, the way I think about it is that you start to create an environment.

Anita: Okay. 

Cara Michelle: That is beneficial. Okay. To allow you to access exercise. 

Anita: Hmm. 

Cara Michelle: Right. Okay. You start to shift your [00:33:00] mind, so you create a mental environment that says, you know what? I think I know this is really gonna benefit me. And when you hit that momentum, you come up from the practice to momentum. It's a lot easier to do the thing, and that's where you start to notice.

You know what? I'm not as tired in the afternoon. Hmm. You know what? I actually handled that conversation a lot better than I thought I was going to, or I would have two or three weeks ago. Wow. You know, my body, my back is not bothering me as much. My neck and my knees aren't bothering me as much. And so I actually feel a little more easy, like when I was joking around with the girls, when really by the time I got to halfway through the day, you know, I'd be looking for an ice pack or I'd just want people to leave me alone.

Okay. Right. 

Anita: Yeah. So you, 

Cara Michelle: so it's not very long from the practice stage to the momentum stage. That's where you start to notice, you know what I, I see that [00:34:00] what it, I'm putting the time and effort I'm putting in, it's starting to pay off and I'm starting to feel better. The next stage of that is the consistency stage when you hit consistency.

And let me be clear also here that you're not doing anything different between the stages. Okay? You're practicing drinking more water. You get some momentum with drinking water. You know how many bottles you need. Are you gonna drink out of this big bottle? You know, you like cold water versus room temperature water.

You know you need to have it sitting out in front of you all the time instead of off to the corner. 'cause then you can't see it and you don't remember. You start to figure out the environment, the mental and physical environment that's gonna allow you to. To drink more water, right? 

Anita: Yeah. So 

Cara Michelle: you just keep doing the thing and it, it becomes easy momentum, and then you get to this place where consistency clicks in, and it's kind of like, this is just who I am and what I do.

Wow. I don't have to think a whole lot about it. I just automatically start putting my, my shoes and my clothes together, or getting my water bottle filled up the [00:35:00] night before this. I don't know. This is just how I go. Yeah. Yeah. It becomes second nature becomes a repetitive habit and subconsciously after that.

Yeah. Wow. Just trying to get ourselves started in the beginning, you have to go into it knowing that it's gonna be a little bit bumpy and it's not gonna be smooth and easy in the beginning, and that's why it's useful to only work on one or two new practices at a time. Okay. Because then it is not, it's not so mentally hard to stay focused on those one or two things.

If you're trying to do 10 new things at one time, you, you gotta lose track and it's gonna get too hard. And you got too many other things that you, that require your time and attention, and you're just gonna wanna put it away. Hmm. Oh, I love that. Just start small, then keep the, keep practicing.

It's gonna be clunky, you know, it's gonna be a little bit, you know, the practice of it, but once you get the momentum and refine it, it's gonna be easy breezy after that. [00:36:00] Wow. You know, if you were to go back to that part of you that was seeing all the people pleasers from your mom to your grandma, great grandma.

What would, what would you, the, now you tell that part of you back then tell me At my, as a young person? Mm-hmm. Or tell my, or tell them. No. Tell that part of you that was seeing all of that. Yeah. I would just tell myself that I, I have a choice. Hmm. You know that I don't have to.

Because, for many years I was doing exactly what I saw. I didn't know of a another way. And not until I become a became a health practitioners, I started to see that, you know, like, like there's other ways of, of,, there's an importance in putting focus on ourselves now if we wanna have a, , an open, full, , life.

As we start to age, like we, like you have to. Whatever it is you're doing to yourself, for yourself now, [00:37:00] that's gonna determine how you're gonna be five years, 10 years, 20 years down the road. 

Anita: Yeah. 

Cara Michelle: So, , watching a lot of my older relatives, dealing with diabetes , and heart disease and not being able to move around in their seventies walkers and canes, like , I just don't.

Didn't want that for myself. So, you know, I would just remind myself that it is not necessary to take that road and you have a choice. Ah, I love how you said that. You have a choice. It's not necessary. And that was beautiful., You know, where can people, where can my listeners find you? Yeah, you know, they can come to my website, strength vitality wellness.com.

That's the best way to find out information. I run a, , a round table conversation twice a month. And it's a really funny event. People can come, women can come and kind of talk about workshop. What's getting in my way? What, what's keeping me from being more consistent with the practices [00:38:00] that I, that I enjoy.

So I'll make sure that you have the link. Yes. It's virtual, correct? It is. Oh, I love that. I love that. And,, social media, yeah, I'm on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn. And I have a YouTube channel as well. Nice. And your book, they can find it on the website. They can find it on On Amazon?

Yes. Fuel your engines. Okay. I love that. And so normally I like to ask two questions to my guests, and the first one is, what is your definition of an empowered woman? A definition of an empowered woman is a woman who has taken the time to understand truly right now in her life what is important to her.

What was important to us 20 years ago is not often the same thing now. And so I believe that when we're clear about who we are, what's important to us, where are we going, what are we trying to accomplish, then we already have the [00:39:00] roadmap. We already know what it is that we're gonna say yes to and what we're gonna say no to.

Throughout the day. Keeping that vision, that understanding those values forward in our lives is a really important gift that we give to ourselves. And I think when we do that, we empower ourselves. Ah, that was so beautiful. Wow. Thank you for sharing that. And my final question, I assume that in the future, everything about who you are, your work, your legacy, was lost.

You know, by your family due to unforeseen uncontrollable circumstances. And one day within the future, let's say three family line generations within the woman lineage, daughter, granddaughter, niece, they found one handwritten letter and you know, this is to your future. Great, great woman, lineage was found.

What truth would you bestow to them? To [00:40:00] further progress of women empowering other women in your family? Yes. Thank you. I often think and encourage my clients to think seven generations ahead, so this is a really great question. Yeah. The number one thing that I hope that I can leave for future generations is that there's nothing more important in your life than how you feel.

Oh, feeling good allows you to have the life that you truly want, and you deserve to feel that. It's not complicated to do that. You just must choose to give that to yourself. Nothing's more important than how you feel. Oh. I love that. I love that. Before we close, what message do you want to le leave for the women listening right now who feel exhausted, stuck and unsure how to reclaim their energy?

Just, just start slow. Pick something that you feel like is going to help that you know is gonna help you with [00:41:00] your energy and you feel like is easily accessible to you. Okay. Not something that's super complicated, not something that's gonna bog down your schedule. Not something that's gonna make you miss obligations.

Right. Okay. But something that you feel like. You can do if it is exercising for five or 10 minutes, just get started. You don't need anyone else's permission. You don't need anything new, new fad. You don't need any fancy equipment. You just need to start. So if that's something that you know, if you know that you want to feel better mentally and physically, yeah, that you don't believe that you need to feel as tired and worn out and struggle as much as you, as you are.

Then just pick something and just get going. Hmm. I love how you said that thank you so much for helping being a guest here and helping with our community and listeners, how they can get their energy back to further empower themselves, become [00:42:00] resilient and authentic. Thank you for coming.

Thank you so much for this opportunity. Thank you so much. 

 

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