Tend and Befriend
Tend & Befriend – The Podcast for Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond
Hosted by Deborah the Doula, a birth professional with over 20 years of experience, Tend & Befriend is your go-to source for evidence-based insights, real birth stories, and expert advice. After two decades in the birth world, I’ve learned a thing or two—and I want to make sure you have access to that knowledge.
Join me as we dive into the topics that matter most during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Whether you're preparing for labor, navigating new motherhood, or reflecting on your own birth journey, you'll find support, wisdom, and connection in every episode.
Let’s learn, laugh, and grow—together. 💛 Listen now!
Tend and Befriend
Pregnancy Brain: Science or Excuse?
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Ever wondered if "pregnancy brain" is real science or just a convenient excuse for misplaced keys and forgotten appointments? The fascinating truth lies somewhere in between, and it's more remarkable than you might think.
Pregnancy triggers measurable changes in your brain's structure, particularly in areas related to social cognition and emotional regulation. Far from being a deficit, these changes represent your brain's brilliant adaptation to prepare you for motherhood. Think of it as nature's way of helping you prioritize what really matters—your growing baby—while temporarily filing away less critical information.
That feeling of mental fogginess has solid biological foundations. The hormonal tsunami of pregnancy, particularly those skyrocketing levels of progesterone and estrogen, directly influences memory and executive functioning. Combined with pregnancy-related sleep disruptions (midnight bathroom trips, anyone?), your brain faces genuine challenges. Yet these temporary cognitive shifts serve a greater purpose—they're rewiring your neural pathways to strengthen the connection with your baby.
For those struggling with pregnancy brain, simple strategies can help manage the foggy moments. Writing things down (creating "outie lists" instead of keeping everything in your head), prioritizing rest, staying hydrated, and consuming brain-nourishing foods like omega-3s can all support cognitive function during this transformative time. Most importantly, embrace self-compassion and perhaps a sense of humor about those moments when you find yourself searching for sunglasses that are already on your head.
The next time pregnancy brain makes you feel scattered, remember it's not a flaw—it's a feature of your amazingly adaptive brain preparing for life's most important job. Subscribe for more insights on maternal health, and share your own pregnancy brain stories with us—we'd love to hear them!
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Hey Mamas, you're listening to Tend and Befriend, a podcast about women's mental and physical health. This is Debra. I'm a mom of two, a labor and birth coach and birth advocate, a health professional, and today I'm your host. Let's dive into today's episode. Am your host? Let's dive into today's episode. Any information you hear or that is suggested or recommended on these episodes is not medical advice.
Speaker 1:Today we're diving into a hot topic pregnancy brain. Is it real or is it just an excuse for forgetting where you left your keys? Let's dig into the science and see what's really going on in your amazing, beautiful, multitasking brain. Let's start with the basics. Pregnancy brain, or momnesia, which is commonly called, is that forgetful, foggy feeling many expecting moms report or talk about. You know, like calling your dog by your baby's name or putting your phone in the fridge. It's not an official medical diagnosis, but it's so common that it's become a part of the pregnancy lexicon. So what's the deal? Is your brain actually changing during pregnancy or is it just a byproduct of being overwhelmed with all the exciting and nerve-wracking things happening in your life, juggling all the balls? Here's where things get interesting. Researchers have studied the pregnant brain, but let's be absolutely real the research has to be lacking, because women have only been allowed to be a part of the research since 1993. And also, when you're pregnant, are you going to be a part of a research study? Only if you don't have to really do anything, because who wants to be the guinea pig when you're pregnant? But nonetheless, the findings may surprise you. Yes, your brain changes. A study published in 2016 in Nature Neuroscience found that pregnancy causes measurable changes in your brain, specifically in the gray matter, and that it decreases in areas related to social cognition and emotional regulation. That makes sense. But before you panic, this isn't a bad thing. Scientists believe it's part of the brain's way of rewiring to help you connect with and care for your baby. It's like your brain is optimizing itself for motherhood.
Speaker 1:Memory and focus take a hit. Hormones, especially progesterone and estrogen. They skyrocket during pregnancy and they can influence cognitive function. Many studies show mild declines in memory and executive functioning. That's the part of your brain that helps you stay organized and focus. It's not in your head? Well, actually it is, but you know what I mean. Honestly, I feel that I might've learned this long before I was pregnant, because the days right before I got my menstrual cycle, I had such difficulty stringing a sentence together, and my girls also experienced that. It's like right before my period I got a little bit denser and my brain didn't work properly. Well, now I know why and why I felt that same way during pregnancy.
Speaker 1:Sleep deprivation plays a role as well. We all know that the more tired we are, the more we can't function the next day. Well, that also affects your brain. Between bathroom trips and finding a comfortable position with the growing belly, pregnancy can leave you a bit sleep deprived, which impacts memory and concentration. Your brain is tired, just like the rest of you. Funny story when I was in school to be a massage therapist, one of my classmates told a story where she got up in the night to pee and while on this toilet she realized that she had forgotten to pull down her underwear. Totally relate she wasn't even pregnant.
Speaker 1:Here's a silver lining While pregnancy brain might make you feel a little scattered, it's actually helping you prioritize what matters. Most Researchers believe that those brain changes that I mentioned earlier are designed to help you bond with your baby and become hyper-focused on their needs. Think of it as your brain decluttering itself. It's letting go of the things like remembering to buy the right brand of cereal so you can focus on the big stuff like keeping another human alive Priorities. Now, if you're tired of feeling like your brain is running on dial-up, here are some tips Write it down, keep a notebook or use a note-taking app to jot down your to-do list and appointments. When in doubt, make it digital so you don't misplace it.
Speaker 1:On one of Mel Robbins' podcasts recently, she was talking about a concept of an outie list instead of an innie list. Yes, innie versus outie, and I had never heard it referred to in regards to a list. The idea is that we have a list in our head all the time and it takes up so much space and so much energy and increases stress in our bodies because we always have to keep remembering it. I do this sometimes when I'm in the treatment room. I'm trying to remember things that I need to do in between clients and patients and I try to create an acronym to remember what I need to do, which really just write it down. Take a second and write it down. So the idea is, if you have a list that is in front of you, it doesn't take up as much mental space and doesn't increase stress on your body. Innies versus outies. Nice, brilliant. Why keep it in our heads when we don't need to Free up that mental space to do all the other things?
Speaker 1:Next, we have get enough sleep. Okay, that's a non-fair one, because that's a lot easier said than done. I know that, but even a short nap can do wonders for your brain. Treat rest like the non-negotiable self-care that it is. The next one is to stay hydrated and eat brain boosting foods. Your brain thrives on hydration and nutrients like omega-3s. You know that are found in fish and walnuts. Also, you can take a liquid form of it. You want to make sure that your brain is being fed and that your baby's brain is being fed as well while pregnant. So snack smarter, not harder, and then cut yourself some slack. Forgetting your co-worker's name doesn't mean you're losing it. It means you're human, and growing a human at that.
Speaker 1:Finally, let's try to embrace the humor in all of this. Pregnancy brain makes for great stories, like the time you searched for your sunglasses and they were already on your head, or when you sent a text meant for your partner to your boss or to your mother-in-law. These moments may feel frustrating in the moment, but they're also little reminders of the wild, wonderful ride that you're on. And that's a wrap on today's episode of Tend and Befriend. So does pregnancy brain actually exist? Yes, hell yes, but it's not a flaw, it's a feature. Your brain is adapting to this incredible journey of motherhood and it's okay to give yourself some grace along the way. And if you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, share or leave a review and remember whether you're misplacing your keys or forgetting what day it is. You're doing an amazing job. Talk to you soon. Talk to you soon. Okay, let's talk soon.
