Tend and Befriend
Tend & Befriend – The Podcast for Pregnancy, Birth & Beyond
Hosted by Deborah the Doula, a birth professional with over 20 years of experience, Tend & Befriend is your go-to source for evidence-based insights, real birth stories, and expert advice. After two decades in the birth world, I’ve learned a thing or two—and I want to make sure you have access to that knowledge.
Join me as we dive into the topics that matter most during pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. Whether you're preparing for labor, navigating new motherhood, or reflecting on your own birth journey, you'll find support, wisdom, and connection in every episode.
Let’s learn, laugh, and grow—together. 💛 Listen now!
Tend and Befriend
Who Gave a Crap? The Funny Truth About Delivery Room Accidents
"Let us know what you think about this episode"
Let's talk about the one childbirth fear that keeps many expectant mothers up at night – pooping during labor. As a doula, massage therapist, and mother of two, I've witnessed firsthand how this perfectly natural bodily function creates unnecessary anxiety for birthing people everywhere.
The science is straightforward: when you're pushing your baby out, you're using the exact same muscle groups involved in bowel movements. Your baby's head applies pressure to your rectum as it descends, potentially causing any remaining stool to be expelled. Far from being embarrassing, this is actually evidence that you're pushing effectively! The statistics? It happens to roughly one in three women, but here's the surprising part – most never even know it occurred because birth teams handle it with such practiced discretion.
What strikes me most from supporting countless births is how quickly these worries evaporate in the delivery room. The moment active labor begins, concerns about bodily functions fade against the backdrop of the extraordinary work your body is performing. And once that baby is placed in your arms? Trust me, you won't remember or care about anything else that happened in that room.
Birth is inherently messy, unpredictable, and beautiful. Your healthcare providers have truly seen it all – amniotic fluid, blood, vernix, and yes, sometimes poop. None of it phases them. They're focused on safely bringing your baby earthside, not judging natural bodily functions. So take a deep breath and release this particular worry. Your body knows exactly what it's doing, even when it's doing things society has taught us to find embarrassing.
Share this episode with an expectant friend who might need to hear this message. Remember, the path to motherhood asks us to surrender certain social constructs around control and modesty – and in that surrender, we discover our remarkable strength.
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Hey Mamas, you're listening to Tend and Befriend, a podcast about women's mental and physical health. This is Deborah. I'm a mom of two, a labor and birth coach and birth advocate, a health professional, and today I'm your host. Let's dive into today's episode. Any information you hear or that is suggested or recommended on these episodes is not medical advice. Hi everyone, and welcome to Tend and Be Friend, the podcast, where we tackle all things pregnancy, postpartum and motherhood with a mix of science, education and a little bit of humor. I'm Deborah, your host, your doula, a registered massage therapist and the person who's here to tell you the truth about everything, including the stuff that no one talks about.
Deborah:Today we're diving into one of the biggest unspoken fears many birthing moms have pooping during labor. Yes, we are going there, so let's flesh out the stigma and talk about why it happens, the science behind it and why it should really be no big deal. Let's start with some honesty. If you're worried about pooping during labor, you're not alone. I definitely was fearful of it for my first birth. This fear comes up in so many of my childbirth education classes and doula consultations and, let's be real, it's a completely valid concern. No one wants to think about having a bowel movement in front of their partner or their midwife or an entire medical team. But here's the thing it's also one of the most normal and natural things that can happen during childbirth. Let's break it down scientifically, shall we? When you're in the pushing stage of labor, your body is essentially doing the same thing it does during a bowel movement, using the same muscles and applying the same pressure. Your rectum is right next to your vagina, so when the baby's head moves down through the birth canal, it naturally puts pressure on your bowels, and if there's anything in your rectum, it's come out. It is not a sign of failure. It is not to be embarrassed. In fact, it's actually a sign that you're pushing effectively, If you're using the right muscles to bring your baby into the world, your body isn't going to discriminate between baby and poop. It's getting the job done.
Deborah:But how often does it actually happen? Studies suggest it happens to about one in three women during labor. But here's the kicker Most women don't even know that it's happened. Why? Because your birth team handles it so discreetly. Doctors, midwives and nurses have seen it all. They're not fazed by a little poop and they're not going to announce it. Most of the time, they'll wipe it away before you even realize it has happened. For them, it's just a part of the process.
Deborah:Now let's talk about perspective. Yeah, the idea of pooping during labor might feel mortifying when you're pregnant and imagining every detail of your birth, but when you're in the moment, it's likely going to be the last thing that you think about. You're focused on the incredible work your body is doing and the baby that you're so very close to meeting. And let me tell you, once you're holding that beautiful baby, you won't care about the poop, or anything else for that matter. All the embarrassment, the worry and the modesty poof gone, Because you just did one of the most powerful, all inspiring things a human can do you brought life into the world. Let's lighten the mood for a second.
Deborah:I've had clients tell me some hilarious stories about pooping during labor, and I remember one mom really having a lot of hesitation about pooping in front of her partner, and even to the point where she didn't actually want to talk about it with him. On my table she told me that she was really, really worried and that she wanted to bring it up to him, but she was really afraid to. So, after much hesitation and apprehension. She brought it up with him and the first thing that he said to her was babe, that's nothing, who cares? And here's another funny story During a delivery that I was assisting, the mom cried during her pushing stage and said I'm pooping, I can smell it. And I said it's not you, it's Dr Tomc who was the OB that was assisting, and he was a little more than offended. And his response was that wasn't me. And I followed up with way to take one for the team. Dr Tomc and everyone in the room laughed, except Dr Tomc, which you know I understand it was pretty funny, though Laughing about this can really take away some of the fear and the stigma.
Deborah:Remember, this is just another quirky part of the messy, miraculous process of bringing a baby into the world. If you're still feeling anxious about it, here are a few things you could do. You could talk to your birth team, let your doula, your nurse or doctor know about your concerns. They can reassure you and remind you that it's not that big of a deal and you can focus on the bigger picture. Remember that your primary goal is to safely bring your baby into the world. Everything else is just background noise.
Deborah:So there you have it, the truth about pooping during labor. It's normal, it's common and it's really not that big of a deal. If you take one thing away from today's episode, let it be this Childbirth is messy, but it's also magical. Don't let the fear of something so small overshadow the beauty of bringing your baby earthside. Thanks for tuning in to Tend and Befriend. If you found this episode helpful or funny, please share it with a friend or two or leave a review. And remember mama, you're amazing, no matter what happens in the delivery room. Until next time, take care of you and keep nurturing that beautiful journey of motherhood and let's talk soon. Talk to you soon, Okay, let's talk soon.
