Why every pregnant momma needs a "get shit done" nesting party instead of a baby shower

Forget the diaper raffles and puff-painted bibs. This isn’t your traditional baby shower. In this episode of Tend and Befriend, Deborah dives into the heart of nesting parties: intimate gatherings that blend community, preparation, and emotional support for expecting parents.

You’ll learn:

• What a nesting party is and why it matters
• How to create a calm, supportive environment (and who to invite)
• Practical tips for meal prep, baby gear setup, and hospital bag packing
• Why this kind of care can make the postpartum transition smoother and more supported

Whether you’re pregnant and craving real help, or you’re a doula looking for meaningful ways to show up for your clients, this episode will leave you inspired to bring the “village” back to birth.

Links & Resources:

• Free Hospital Bag Checklist:  https://www.pelviclove.com/checklist 
• Connect with Deborah on Instagram: @deborah.thedoula

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Nesting Parties
• 2:35 Who to Invite & Party Planning
• 3:45 Essential Tasks: Baby Clothes & Feeding
• 4:49 Setting Up Gear & Sleep Spaces
• 6:23 Food Prep & Final Tips
• 9:47 Closing Thoughts & Resources

Transcript

Deborah: 0:13

Hey Mamas, you're listening to Tend and Befriend, a podcast about women's mental and physical health. This is Debra. I'm a mom of two, a labor and birth coach and birth advocate, a health professional, and today I'm your host. Let's dive into today's episode. Any information you hear or that is suggested or recommended on these episodes is not medical advice. Hello mamas, welcome back to Tend and Be Friend, the podcast for all things pregnancy and postpartum and women's wellness.

Deborah: 0:50

I'm your host, debra LaDula, and today we're digging into a topic that I absolutely love, that I was raised with but doesn't happen a lot in today's culture, but is coming back into what women are asking for during pregnancy. It's something that blends community preparation and rest and all of those things in one, and it's called the nesting party. Now listen, this isn't your traditional baby shower with diaper raffles and puff painting bibs. This is a get shit done, be held by your village kind of gathering, and if you're pregnant and wondering how to prepare, or your doula wanting to offer more to your clients, this one's for you. So let's start by talking about what is a nesting party usually a more intimate gathering where your trusted people come together to help you physically and emotionally prepare for the postpartum phase Baby showers, celebrate the baby, nesting parties, prepare the parents and that's the kind of care that lasts. The attendees might help you fold your baby's clothing, set up gear, prep some meals for postpartum or even pack your hospital bag. But more than that, they're showing up to say you don't have to do this alone, and I've seen this kind of support change everything for new birthing persons. It's not just about checking tasks off a list. It's about easing your mind, softening your heart and building a sense of readiness that goes deeper than stuff. So here's my take on how to host one successfully.

Deborah: 2:35

Who should you invite? You may want to keep it small and personal. This is not a public event or a performance. You want people there who are able to make you feel calm, safe and supported. Invite the friend who shows up with soup when you're sick, the sister who folds your laundry without asking, the ones who love you when things are messy, not just when things are great. If someone in your life causes tension or drains your energy, this is not their space and that's okay. This is sacred preparation, not a social obligation.

Deborah: 3:13

Now let's talk logistics and what needs to happen. Before you even consider sending out the invite. Make a list of the tasks that can actually be completed in a two to three hour window. You know those nagging tasks that you so desperately want to get done but cannot bring yourself to do. Write it down, be clear and add any instructions where they might be needed, especially for things like organizing baby clothes by size or prepping freezer meals, for example.

Deborah: 3:47

Let's start with the baby clothes. You know those tiny little outfits you've been gifted or tucked into drawers over the last few months. Have someone help you wash them, dry them and fold them into little bundles. And if you've got that one friend who Marie condos her closet for fun, let her organize the onesies by size. Then there's the feeding setup. Whether you're planning to breastfeed, pump or bottle feed, let someone help you sanitize the pump parts or set up a feeding station. I recommend you have at least two. You can buy two rolling carts and make those your easy access stations. You will want one in your bedroom and one on your main floor. Think of this as your transportable feeding station. I want you to put your water bottles there, your snacks, nipple cream, a phone charger, maybe even a hand affirmation to yourself, and make it a space that supports you and not just the task of feeding.

Deborah: 4:45

Next we want to move on to the baby gear the stroller, the crib, the car seat. Don't leave that stuff until the last minute. If you've got a partner who likes tools or a friend who builds Ikea furniture for fun, and then the manual and say, go for it, one of the best things you can do at your nesting party is to have someone install that car seat, preferably someone who's done it before. Most hospitals won't let you leave without it properly set up and it's surprisingly complicated the first time around. There are in Windsor and Essex County fire alls that have certified child passenger safety technicians on their staff that you can meet with to make sure your car seat is in safely. I highly recommend that you do that, if you have the opportunity to, before your baby arrives, all right.

Deborah: 5:36

Next we want to talk about. Having a sleep space set up that feels calm and stocked can make those early postpartum days easier. Someone can help you load diapers into the drawer, refill wipes, fold swaddles and tuck in a soft blanket. I love creating a little basket for middle of the night changes, just something you can reach for when you're tired and you can know in your head in the dark where it is, and the babies just add a full body poop. Yeah, blindly looking for things is not always a great idea, and having this set up will really help. Do this at your nesting party.

Deborah: 6:12

And the next one is packing the hospital bag. You can make this a group thing, especially if your friends have done it before. There's something really sweet about watching people you love hold up your robes or you know the things that you want to wear in labor and say this one or this one. Let them remind you what they needed when they were in labor. There's a real passing down of wisdom in this moment from woman to woman. That is like nothing you will ever experience. And if you want a detailed list about what to pack in your hospital bag, there is a method to that madness. I have a downloadable free hospital checklist and it's in our link tree on Instagram. I can also include it in the show notes and it talks about you know how to pack three hospital.

Deborah: 7:03

Next, let's talk about the food. Oh, the food. If you've got the space and the people, do some simple meal prep Muffins, loaves, chili soups, smoothie packs, whatever feels nourishing label it and freeze it. You will not regret this when you're home with a newborn and haven't slept in 36 hours. I highly recommend that you also freeze 20 meals that are prepped. If you freeze 20 meals, that'll give you about a month where you won't have to think about food every single day and what you're going to eat for a meal and two of those days you can figure it out. The other 20 days of the month, except the weekends, you've got it done.

Deborah: 7:45

Lastly, don't forget about the change station. It sounds small, but it makes a huge difference when you're in the thick of it. Having diapers, creams and backup clothes all ready to go saves you from fumbling through drawers with one hand while holding a baby in the other. Make the changing station easy access and have a portable bag or basket and take it with you into every room, or get more than one. Now, when people actually start to arrive, don't be afraid to assign tasks. You can ask if anyone has preferences, but don't waste time waiting for volunteers. Pair folks up. Keep things moving. If you need to assign one friend to delegating, choose the most type A friend that you have. She will be an amazing delegator. Play to your friend's strengths when people are doing something they enjoy or feel good at. They'll give it their all and they'll leave feeling helpful, not just entertained.

Deborah: 8:43

So here are some tips have everything ready so your guests don't have to ask a million questions or run around looking for things. Stock up on the basics baby detergent, storage bins and baskets, sharpies and tape for labeling, all the gear, assembly tools, ingredients for simple meal prep. And you know what? A really great thing that I use with a lot of my postpartum planning right now is Instacart. It is such a great way to have everything delivered on the day of the party.

Deborah: 9:12

You want to set up workstations if possible, and let's not forget, this is still a party. We've got work to do, but we also want to connect and enjoy these moments. So put out some snacks, pour mocktails or herbal teas, put a playlist on that you and your people can dance to. Make sure to take a group photo or, better yet, a picture of the baby girl set up the stacked freezer, meals or the hands folding tiny onesies. And I want to end this podcast with asking for help is not weakness, it takes strength, and means strength.

Deborah: 9:48

Letting yourself receive is not selfish, and nesting party is one of the most radical, tender things you can do, and I'm so happy they're gaining popularity. And by hosting one, you're saying I deserve to be supported, not just when I'm pushing, but when I'm building the life that comes after, and honestly you do. But when I'm building the life that comes after, and honestly you do. So send the invites, make the list, open the door, let yourself be cared for. Thank you for joining me today on this awesome podcast and if you'd like a free checklist and guide for hosting your own nesting party, dm me at DebraDudula and I'll send it your way. And if you're a doula listening in, consider adding this to your services. It's a beautiful offering with lasting impact. Thank you for joining me on today's episode and follow us on Instagram for all things birth and postpartum. Talk to you soon. Talk to you soon. Okay, let's talk soon.