Ridiculous Revisions
What happened after Goldilocks ran out of the three bears' house? How did Cinderella's marriage hold up? Why did those elves help out that shoemaker in the first place? This podcast shoves classic children's stories through the meat grinder to give you original short stories that you probably won't want to tell to your kids. Welcome to Ridiculous Revisions, bedtime stories for the disturbed!
Ridiculous Revisions
Episode 1: The Goldilocks Incident
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Chris Hellkamp
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Episode 1
For our first episode, we butcher the tale of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. In the modern story, a little girl called Goldilocks finds a house in the woods. She finds no one at home with the door unlocked, so she just strolls right in and helps herself. She breaks a chair by sitting in it, eats some porridge left out to cool on the table, and falls asleep in one of three beds only to wake up to the inhabitants of the home, a family of talking bears, looking at her. Goldilocks runs away in fear and that’s where the story usually ends, but what if there was more? Does Goldilocks really get away with her wanton acts of vandalism, theft, and trespassing? Let’s find out.