Why PMDD Rage Feels Unstoppable (Nervous System Secrets)

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Have you ever wondered why your PMDD seems to create the same relationship conflicts month after month, despite your best efforts? The answer might not be in the condition itself, but in how your nervous system responds to stress.

I never thought I'd be the person advocating for slowing down. As an Enneagram seven and someone who managed PMDD through constant motion, I viewed "being still" as inefficient and unnecessary. My morning routines were sacred—walking my dog, working out, and setting my mind right before the day began. This approach worked... until it didn't.

A herniated disc injury forced me to pause my usual coping mechanisms, leaving me terrified of facing my PMDD symptoms without my trusted movement practices. But something unexpected happened during a recent trip to Cabo where I couldn't engage in my usual activities—my sleep quality dramatically improved, my PMDD symptoms became more manageable, and I discovered a profound peace I hadn't known was possible.

What I uncovered through this journey was that my nervous system had been chronically dysregulated, stuck in sympathetic "fight-flight-freeze" mode even when there was no danger. This dysregulation wasn't just affecting me—it was sabotaging my relationships by making genuine connection impossible. When we're operating from a dysregulated nervous system during PMDD, we trigger our partners' alarm systems too, creating a cycle where both people feel misunderstood, defensive, and emotionally exhausted.

The roots of my compulsive "doing" traced back to childhood experiences in foster care, where I learned I needed to prove my worth to be loved and accepted. I brought this pattern into adult relationships, creating an unsustainable dynamic of hypervigilance that intensified during my luteal phase.

If you recognize yourself in this pattern—whether you're the one with PMDD or the partner—there's hope. Regulating your nervous system is possible through awareness, conscious choices, and sometimes challenging your most fundamental beliefs about yourself. Ready to transform your PMDD relationships? Visit inlovewithpmdd.com to access my new "Rewire the Rage" program with practical tools for nervous system healing.

Transcript

My Injury and Resistance to Slowing Down

Speaker 1 0:00

Today we are going to be talking about a lot of things. This is probably one of the first times that I've ever went to talk to you all, record an episode, and had an overload of things to talk about as far as an update with me and my journey, as far as tools to give you. I have been traveling even more than usual. I just got back from Mexico, from Cabo, with my daughter, and right before that I was in Vegas and San Diego, like right before seeing some clients speaking at a couple of conferences and one of the things that I don't know if you've been following my journey or if you're new here, but a year ago, approximately a year ago, last April, so a year and a couple of months I had an injury, a herniated disc injury. So I was using my PMDD partner's morning routine as a way to kind of keep me sane, pretty much, and when I got that injury it slowed me down a lot and I didn't like it.

Speaker 1 1:15

I am an Enneagram seven. I'm a free spirit, I like to go, I do a lot of things and slowing down is not one of those things that I like to do. I pretty much used to turn my nose up at all of these individuals that were kind of saying that like slowing down was the way to, you know, make your life better, because I felt like there was. I always felt like there was so much for me to do in ways that I can serve and I think, being who I am, being a single mom, and then even in my previous relationships, I've always been the primary caretaker of my daughter and my dog, and I have a whole career outside of my counseling and PMDD, and so I've always had to be on. I've not had the luxury of having the kind of support that would allow me to slow down, so it almost made me find this level of disdain.

Speaker 1 2:16

There's this book I don't know if you've read it. It's called the 48 Laws of Power, and one of the laws I think it's law 36, if I can remember correctly it is for you to disdain the thing that you cannot have. So what that means is, if you can't have something, instead of being dissatisfied with the fact that you can't have it, you begin to despise it, and I've lived by that law a lot of times, because then you're not really mad that you don't have it, you're kind of like, oh, I didn't want it anyway, right. It's a way of kind of tricking your brain cognitively to not be in that place of lack and be in that place of victimhood and like, oh my gosh, woe is me, I don't have the level of support that I would need, I don't have this, I don't have that. So I kind of developed that mentality.

Speaker 1 3:00

When it came to slowing down, I would see people that even in their morning routine they had this very slow. They wake up and they kind of just sip their cup of coffee or walk out onto their balcony and they have this like very zen kind of day morning and that's their way. That was their level of self-care. My level of self-care, where I thrive the most is when I can get up and go. I tend to get up go.

Speaker 1 3:28

The way my morning routine works is I get up, I walk my dog immediately. I have kind of that time. I've been kind of timing it now that I'm revamping my morning routine and I have about 35 to 45 minutes of walking my dog because I have a shit to Maltese mix and he likes to smell everything before he can just go. So I literally take that time and I walk around and I clear my mind and I'm getting some sunlight and it's kind of I'm habit stacking a lot of my morning routine and so after I get up and walk my dog, I bring him back in and then I give him food and he gets water, and while he's doing that I go off and I go work out and then I go move my body and then I kind of have that slow time to where maybe I journal whatever I've been thinking.

Speaker 1 4:20

Because my mind, my brain, works when I'm in movement. I don't have a lot of zen when I'm still. I'm just thinking about all of the things that I could be doing while I'm still. That was my life. So I'm kind of like why would I have a slow morning and just sit and think about all the things that I could be doing? And it's ironic because a lot of my friends, my close friends, they do the slow mornings. I have my best friend. She's a massage therapist. My other friend, she's retired, and I have a lot of yogi friends. So all of them have been towards these slow mornings, these slow days and all of these things. And I remember them talking about even like something about your nervous system and all of these things. And I'm just like my nervous system likes to go, like I likes to be on the go, and when I had this herniated disc injury a year ago I was not able to go. I literally had to stay in the bed and it didn't put me in a good place mentally because I wasn't able to just get up and go. And so as I moved through that injury, I kind of worked around it Like I started walking but I wasn't like running.

Speaker 1 5:31

You know I love so many different modalities when it comes to moving my body. I don't like to put myself in a box and be like I'm a runner or I lift weights or I do bar and Pilates, or I do this Like lift weights, or I do bar and Pilates, or I do this like I'd like to do it all. I'm a person that really enjoys variety. So I will never fully commit to one specific thing. That's part of my Enneagram, because you always feel like well, what if I'm mixing out with this thing? And like what if there's a day that I don't feel like doing this one thing? Like I like to always give myself freedom and options to do whatever my body feels like doing. So I never with my movement, I never say, okay, tomorrow I'm going to do this. I have a set plan, but if I feel differently, I can always change it and I can always switch it up and that's what makes me feel most comfortable. So when this happened a year ago, I was just doing a whole bunch of different things Like what can I do to move my body in a way that's going to give me the same results of just having me get out of my head? Because when I move my body, I get out of my mind, whatever state that I wake up in.

Speaker 1 6:35

When I experienced the most PMDD symptoms. My PMDD symptoms are most active in the morning and they're horrible and I don't like them. Like, that's my conclusion. I feel the most negative like as far as intrusive thoughts, as far as overthinking, like I literally wake up to a whole committee of like. Like it's like all of these little voices that are saying all of these different things, and I just use my morning routine as a way to shut it out and take control over my mind and my body and not let my mind and my body take control of me, because I know what that feels like and I have a lot of clients that are in this space where you're first finding out that you have premenstrual dysphoric disorder and you're suffering a lot mentally, like in your mind, I will always say cognitively, the symptoms that happen in the brain for me are way worse than the symptoms that happen in my body and there is a way that you can use your mind to command your body on what to do. But if you don't use your mind to command your body, then you're just left to the default mode, which is suffering.

Speaker 1 7:42

And so part of me not suffering in PMDD was to get up and move my body, and when I wasn't able to do that in a way that was kind of helping me the way it was before, it made me like take a step back and I was really feeling kind of that victim mindset, like oh my gosh, I can't believe this is happening to me. Everything that I known to work for me I wasn't able to do because the neurosurgeon said if you go against what I'm telling you, we're going to have to do surgery on your back. And it's risky. And there's people when you're dealing with the spine, if they make a wrong turn decision or if your body rejects something like you can end up not walking. And I remember when I had the herniated disc, what happened is it herniated and pressed on the nerve of my left leg and so my left leg was completely numb and tingling and it freaked me out because I never imagined I live such an active life like I never imagined not walking like that. It kind of got my attention and it almost like it needed to be something that dramatic in order to get my attention to be like wait a minute, I should probably slow down, so fast forward. That happened almost a year and some change ago and I got past it and I was so excited because I was back to doing all of the active things that I would normally do. I thought that was a one-time thing and I was not. I was shocked.

Speaker 1 9:10

I was going on a trip, or I went to a trip to San Diego. I've been going to San Diego a lot lately to meet with clients and also to do a lot of speaking engagements, and I went there and I met with. I went and worked and then I met with friends over the 4th of July weekend and then after that I went to a rave, I went to a beach party, I did all of the things that I love to do the most and I felt great and I, my body felt great and I worked out every day and I went to this gym in San Diego. It's right next to the Cartier Hotel in San Diego. I'm not sponsored by this, by the way, but they're known as being like the best gym, like it's a full on. I love it. It has multi-levels, it has like a little smoothie bar. The people are so amazing. They saw me again. They were like you're back and I just felt like I was in my element back around you know, just the environment. That made me feel my best.

Morning Routines and PMDD Symptoms

Speaker 1 10:05

And what I will always say about your PMDD morning routine is, whether you're the partner that has PMDD or the partner that doesn't, you have to do what makes you feel your best. You cannot get into the realm of looking at what everybody else does and thinking like, oh, I'm going to go do that Like if it doesn't work for you. Trust me, don't do it Like if movement didn't work for me, if it didn't shift my mindset, if it didn't help me feel better, I probably wouldn't do it. But I do it because it makes me feel my best and you really have to go on that journey of figuring out what makes you feel your best. I have a lot of clients where journaling is their thing. So the way that I move my body is the way that they move their pen on paper. They just need to write, write, write, write, write, and there's no right or wrong way, it's just the way that makes you feel your best.

Speaker 1 10:51

And so I was coming off of this high, of this amazing weekend, and I woke up the next morning and I didn't really have any clients that morning. I woke up like five o'clock in the morning, because that's another thing. I'm like an early bird, like we. I talk a lot about the sleep chronotype, like I'm the lion, I'm the most productive first thing in the morning and I my daughter was still sleeping. She's like a bear, so she sleeps in and I let her sleep in because I know that she's her best once she's fully rested. So I don't force her to be on my schedule and that's something that I think a lot of times partners and sufferers like really have a hard time with.

Speaker 1 11:31

When you have a partner that is not on the same wavelength as you as far as like a wake up time, like you almost feel like, oh, if you're compatible, you're both waking up at the same time. But and I used to think that too, because a lot of my exes were like morning people and I was like we're so compatible. But then I dated people that slept in and it's kind of like it gave me time to kind of do my routine, so that wasn't like a deal breaker the way that I used to think that it was. And so I had woken up early that morning, my body feeling great, and I had these dishes in the dishwasher and I leaned over to I had already had my workout clothes on, because one of the things that I do cognitively to shift my brain is when I wake up in the morning, I immediately put my workout clothes on. That way, my body is my body and my mind is primed to say we're working out.

Speaker 1 12:21

I don't ask myself a lot of questions in the morning Like am I going to do my morning routine? Am I going to work out? Like, don't ask yourself if you're sleepy and groggy. The answer is always going to be no. You're not going to be consistent that way. So the way you form a habit is you just do the things that are consistent with that habit you don't really like, ask yourself on and off are you going to do it, are you not going to do it? So I had my workout clothes on, I was making my lemon water, which I make every single morning. I cut a lemon and I squeeze it into water that's warm not warm, but like room temperature. Don't do cold water. You're not supposed to do cold water first thing in the morning because it shocks your symptom. Fyi, I am a personal trainer, so I do know these things and that's one of my billion jobs.

Speaker 1 13:06

But I was sipping my lemon water and then I was listening to, I think, a devotional on my headset, my headphones, and I leaned over to get a plate out of the dishwasher and I felt the same pop that I felt when I herniated my disc almost a year and some change ago, and I immediately stood up as much as I could and I had like a moment. It was definitely a moment of PTSD because it's the amount, it's the most excruciating pain that I've ever felt in my life. I literally had my daughter, natural, and my daughter was nine pounds, seven ounces, 21 inches. I didn't do any epidural, any drugs or anything and I promise you this pain that I was feeling is like I think it's because it's nerve pain that it was like 10 times worse than that. I was like, oh my gosh, because it's an uncontrollable pain where once something happens in my back, it shoots down to the nerve and then it's like straight numbing and tingling and just pain, excruciating pain, and so it was like five something in the morning and I freaked out but I couldn't move, so it was like an internal freak out. I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, and I didn't want to wake up, was like an internal freak out. I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, and I didn't want to wake up. My daughter I had friends that I could have called, but again, this was like.

Speaker 1 14:31

I think it was like the Monday after 4th of July weekend, so like everybody pretty much had the day off, everybody was sleeping in. They were probably still having barbecues here in the US to celebrate 4th of July. I was about to say Labor Day and I was just freaking out because I'm like, no, this can't be. Like I'm way past this, like what's going on? And so I tried to move and I literally my leg was like my right leg this time. Last time I was my left leg. My right leg was like dead weight, like I was literally having to drag it, and I was freaking out because I don't like to disturb people when I'm in pain. That's probably a trauma response for me, because I've never really had people to take care of me. I've never really had people that when I'm suffering, that are just there for me. So I'm used to just figuring it out on my own.

Speaker 1 15:18

So I was like, okay, I need to go to the hospital, I need to go to the emergency room. This is not something that I can ignore. Obviously, I'm not going to work out. And so the first thing that I needed to do I was in these like stretchy workout pants. I was like I need to get into some comfortable clothes because in my mind, I'm about to be at the hospital for the day. So I went and was able to change into some sweatpants, could barely lift up my legs. I had to pull it in order to put my legs through, in order to get into my sweatpants.

Speaker 1 15:48

And I remember thinking like how am I going to get outside? I have to get my car, have to drive to the emergency room, which was like 25 minutes away, and I was like I have to wake up my daughter, which I really really, really don't like doing Not because she's ever cranky or anything like that but I just feel like a burden. And I noticed that, like psychologically, there was a lot going on with me, because it's like why aren't you asking for help? You're in excruciating pain, like what's going on. So I ended up going to her room knocking on the door and I'm like, hey, like remember that time I had to going to her room knocking on the door and I'm like, hey, like remember that time I had to go to the hospital a year ago and I was stuck in there and I came back and I couldn't really walk. Like that happened again. So I need to go to the hospital. And she immediately popped up. She's like, ok, and I even looked down at my dog. I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm not going to be able to walk, leo.

Speaker 1 16:40

Like I was just literally thinking about all of my responsibilities instead of myself, and so I was telling my daughter I'm like okay, just like get me to the car, like. And I was like, well, I don't really know how I'm going to get to the car because I'm in such pain and what happens is when you herniate your disc or when you pull something after herniated disc, the longer you wait, the more excruciating the pain is, because the more it travels down to your nerve and this time it was the nerve of my right-hand leg. Last time I had lost feeling of my leg by the time I got to the hospital. So I'm trying to speed up the process. I'm like okay, and so my daughter kind of looks at me and she's like I'm going to call one of our friends that don't live far and she's like they'll take you because they're the same people that picked me up from the hospital like a year ago, and I was like, no, they're probably sleeping, like just, I'll be fine, and all of these things.

Speaker 1 17:35

So it literally took me like 15 to 20 minutes just to make it from my front door to the car. We didn't have a cane or a walker or anything. So I literally put my weight on. My daughter was like, oh, we have an umbrella, but she put it upside down. So that way I wasn't like putting my weight on the pointy part, I was putting my weight on the handle and I literally used that because I could only move like a couple of inches at a time and I was just like okay, so I finally get in my car. I had to pull myself up and get in the car and she's like are you okay? And I was just like yeah, but I was in excruciating pain so and she was like well, be safe, like I. She was like no, no, no, I'm going to go inside, I'm going to call them, and I was like no, I was like no, I'll be fine, I'll be fine, I'll be fine.

Speaker 1 18:25

So I finally get and I start driving and I feel the pain and everything locking up on me and I was just like my gosh, I can't believe this is happening again. Then I get a call from that same friend that my daughter was talking about and they're like where are you? Are you in the car? Like I'll come get you right now. And I'm like no, no, I'll be fine, but if I need anything, like I'm probably not going to be able to drive back because they give you medicines to where you can't operate like machinery. So I was like I'll call you if I need you. And they're like okay, cause I could come get you right now and I'm like no, no, no, it's okay.

Navigating Life with a Herniated Disc

Speaker 1 19:07

And part of me stopped and wondered what was my resistance to getting help from them, because I absolutely needed help. I absolutely was in the most pain that I've ever been in, but there was something in me that was like no, no, I got it. So I later found out that my daughter, as soon as I left, had literally called them and was like my mom's trying to go to the hospital. She needs help. Please help my mom. And it was this big thing where she was so worried about me. And that's when I felt it I was like wait a minute, like if she was that worried about me, but I wasn't that worried about myself. Like what was this resistance? And I was like this is something that I'm definitely going to need to unpack.

Speaker 1 19:42

So I spent that whole day and I got an MRI. So my herniated disc turned into I now have degenerated disc disorder and when they said it I was like another disorder. They were just like what? And I was like nevermind, but basically my lower disc, my L5 S1, right above my hip completely, is like degenerated. It's like done, and it's from years and years and years of doing all the things. And so the pain was going to my right leg and they were offering me all of this medicine. Nothing was working, because what I've noticed for me, like when I have nerve pain, a lot of things don't work, so I don't even bother taking them. I'm like what's the point?

Speaker 1 20:22

So I ended up staying in the hospital for the day after they did the x-rays and MRIs and met with the neurosurgeon, who was kind of like, looking at me, like what did you do? And I'm just like, oh my gosh. And they basically was like stay off of it. And I was like I was. So I didn't want to hear that because I felt like I was in a good place, where I was back on my morning routine. I was back on doing all the things and once again someone was telling me to slow down. And I was talking to all my friends and of course they're like you need to slow down. And I was just like slowing down is a scam, I don't want to do it, like I'm just, this is dumb. Like I can, I can find a way to work around it.

Speaker 1 21:02

And then I literally had a friend who had the same injury that I had, that didn't listen. And she ended up having to have metal and a metal rod in her back. And she literally had a conversation with me, like like. She was like look, here's my scar. I was out for nine months. I wasn't able to walk. Do you want to be like me? Like, do you want the same injury? Like, why are you playing with your body like this? And I was just like, fine, I don't want that to happen. I fine, I'll slow down.

Speaker 1 21:30

And what I noticed is, as I slowed down, it was affecting me more mentally than it was physically. Like, yes, physically I was in pain, but mentally I was not comfortable. And what I noticed is I was used to being hypervigilant, really on high alert, like I gotta do this, I gotta do this, I gotta do this. And what happens when you're in that space is your nervous system is always on. Your nervous system is always on. So when you go into your luteal phase and you go into PMDD and you're always on, and then something happens like that, you're just overstimulated and it causes a lot of your symptoms to be worse. And so I know this because I've worked on my clients with this.

Speaker 1 22:16

But I was just like I didn't think that I was going to have to be at this point where I'm literally working on my nervous system, because I felt like I was very self-aware. I felt like I could still go, go, go, go go. And that's when I realized my nervous system was completely jacked, like it was completely out of alignment. And I'm going to show you what that looks like. Because I had gotten to a point where I was used to my nervous system being like that, like that was almost a norm and I felt like that's how it needed to be in order for me to get all of the things done. And so I gave myself three weeks of not doing my morning routine, like I did my morning routine, but I didn't do any exercise or any like real movement outside of walking. And then I took this trip to.

Speaker 1 23:03

I was just in Cabo last week, in Mexico, and it was the, and normally when I go on a vacation, I'm on excursions, I'm on an ATV, I'm ziplining, I'm hiking up some mountain, I'm doing all of these really physical things. But I really felt like I committed to giving my body a break and allowing it to heal, because the things that happened with this injury is time, because I remember it, last time I did all of these things, but the only thing that really healed it was time, and so I'm like man, I'm going to have to give it time again. And what I learned in that week that I was in Cabo and I didn't go on an excursion and I didn't have an alarm to wake me up and I didn't have any plans for the day is I had finally allowed myself to be instead of do. Now I was in my luteal phase and I know that if I didn't have this injury, I would have been on there ziplining anyway and doing all of these things that were probably wrecking my nervous system and I would have been like, oh, but it's fun, or oh, but it's this, and oh, but it's that. I'm making memories, like all of these things. But I allowed myself to just be, and I have a sleep app that I use.

Speaker 1 24:18

It's called Sleep Cycle. So if you have the Apple again not sponsored, but I'm trying to share what I use it's orange and it's called Sleep Cycle and basically it monitors. I do pay for it because I do obviously invest in my health and all the things, just like I tell you to do. So I know that sleep is one of those things that's really important and really impacts your luteal phase and PMDD. So I always like to see the patterns. So I've been using Sleep Cycle for over three years now, so it knows my patterns of sleep, my patterns of snoring, sleep talking, all of the things and it literally gave me a sleep score of like the first night was like 95. Normally my range was like in the seventies or something, and it's not based off of the amount of hours that you're sleeping, it's about the amount of hours and time that you're actually resting.

Speaker 1 25:09

And so I got into this point where I was like, why am I getting? Like? I felt amazing and part of me wanted to get up and move. I'm like, oh, I could go to the gym. I literally didn't pack myself any gym clothes just because I knew that if I did, I would try to like sneak myself over to the gym they have a really good gym, by the way. And so I didn't go to the gym, but I just continued to relax and I felt so much peace and so much clarity and I was out of the realm of doing. I was just being, and it was almost like unwrapping this kind of gift that I had inadvertently given myself by not doing the things. It was almost like by doing less I was really doing more, which I had heard people say, like even my business mentor that I have. One of her programs is called Work Less, make More, and she's basically like you need to do less to regulate again your nervous system and all of the things in order for you to be most optimal for when you actually do do things.

Speaker 1 26:10

So I was really thinking about this in my PMDD relationships, because every relationship that I've had while having PMDD and I've had PMDD for over 19 years now I've always done my morning routine and I've always been like you need to get on board. Like whoever I'm with, they had to pretty much keep up with me in the mornings or they were going to be left in the dust, and what I mean by that is I wasn't one of those people that would just like get up in the morning and like snuggle in and like cuddle and like talk about life. Like I did all that stuff at nighttime. Like morning time I was get up and go, and I remember I had a partner before that really liked to have a slow morning and I was just like we're not compatible, like I will never be in a place where I'm just snuggling with my partner in the morning, not thinking about things to do, not talking about a to-do list, just being.

Speaker 1 27:04

I didn't allow myself to just be and I had to really dig deep to figure out why. What was the reason that I didn't want to be in that place of just being? And I think it's because I had this fear of not being taken care of. I had this fear that if I didn't do all of these things, that they weren't going to get done. And what that was was a very big lack of trust in anyone else, including my partner, supporting me, because I didn't leave anything to chance. I didn't leave anything for them to do, I left, I took on everything.

Speaker 1 27:39

And when you take on everything, your nervous system is completely out of whack because your brain it goes in line with what your nervous system is feeling, like you have to do, like your mind is saying, oh, we got to do this, we got to do this, we got to do this, and then the nervous system is kind of responding to that and it goes into this state of panic. And when you have PMDD, everything feels overwhelming at that time and that was the norm for me I just thought feeling overwhelmed was like a normal symptom of having PMDD, like, oh, I have PMDD, I'm feeling overwhelmed. Well, I was in my luteal phase and for the first time in ever, I didn't feel stressed, I didn't feel overwhelmed. Did I have things to do? Absolutely. Was I doing most of them in the morning? Absolutely not. I just allowed myself to just be.

The San Diego Trip and Second Injury

Speaker 1 28:26

My only job was just to get up and have peace and tranquility and to just sit with myself and really figure out what was going on in my mind, pretty much doing all of the mental work that I would have done while I was on my walk or while I was in the gym. I was doing it while not moving, which lowered my risk to my nervous system because it was showing on my app like your sleep is better. And at first, the first night, I thought it was a fluke, but every single night that I was there, my sleep score was in the nineties and it was consistent and it would literally was like whatever you're doing, keep doing it. And I was like I'm literally doing nothing. Like that was the mind shift the app literally told me cause it can. It gives you the data, but then you can kind of summarize it in words and it literally said whatever you're doing, keep it up.

Speaker 1 29:16

Well, the problem was I wasn't doing anything and so I'm like I'm like, okay, well, how is this? How is this a thing that doing less literally feel better, thing, that doing less, I literally feel better? I had more like present. I was more present with my daughter, like we were at the pool and you know, I even mentioned going on some excursions, but then I went against it. I was like no, I'm not going to fill this time, because I kept feeling the urge to fill the time with all of the things I kept feeling.

Speaker 1 29:45

I kept feeling the urge to fill the time with going to the gym. I kept feeling the urge to fill the time with going to the gym. I kept feeling the urge to fill the time with going on an ATV ride and a camel ride and all of these things, riding whatever they had on the street, and I just said no, like there was no reason to add anything to what I was doing, but there was some resistance towards going slower. So I really had to ask myself why I had this lack of trust, because that was the core of it. I journaled about it, I processed it. So I really had to ask myself why I had this lack of trust. Because that was the core of it.

Speaker 1 30:11

I journaled about it, I processed it, like I tell my clients to do, and I really was trying to prove myself. I felt like by doing, you can prove yourself. By being, you're not really doing anything to prove yourself. And then I was like I was working with a client. I literally said something and I was like stop trying to prove yourself to your PMDD partner. And I was saying it to my client, but there was something in me. I was like where did that come from? There was something in me that resonated with that so much because I had always been trying to prove myself to the people that were in my life prove myself to my daughter, prove myself to my partner, prove myself as a little girl to my parents in order to prove that I'm worthy.

Speaker 1 30:57

And I finally was in this place where I'm not proving anything, I'm just being, and being should be enough. Because was I asking? I had to think about it. I was like do I ask my daughter to prove herself to me in order for me to love her. No, just the fact that she's my daughter, just the fact that I love her, is enough. When I have partners, do I ask them to prove themselves to me and be like you need to make sure that you do this and this and this, and then I'll love and care for you. No, I don't do that. I require them to do very little. I just allow them to be. I actually want my partners to be the most authentic version of themselves. I never want a partner to feel like that. They need to be a different version of themselves in order to be with me.

Speaker 1 31:39

And when you're proving you're not being authentic, you're not being the core of who you are, you're proving yourself to your partner because you feel like you need to be the version of you that they want in order for them to love you. But what happens is when you're in that proving mode where you're doing most of the doing versus the being. If, at any moment, you take your foot off the gas and you get sick or you get a herniated disc injury and you can't do all the things, you're going to feel less worthy because you're not doing anything. And that was the state that I was in. I was not feeling worthy of anything because I wasn't doing and I literally had to say I don't need to prove myself to anyone in order to be loved and accepted. That was the mantra that I got from my processing. It is I don't need to prove myself to anyone in order to be loved and accepted. And I literally started crying because I recognized the root of where that came from.

Speaker 1 32:32

You know, growing up in foster care, which I did when you're looking to be adopted, you go into these different foster care homes and you have to prove that you're a good girl and you have to prove that you're not gonna be a problem and you have to prove all of these things in order for that family to accept you, to want you to love you, to take care of you. So when you grow up with a foundation that's like that, like I did, it kind of sticks with you until you do that reparenting thing which I'm presently working on is reparenting myself to know that I don't have to prove myself to any partner in any relationship, including my parental one, in order to be accepted. There's certain characteristics that I have that everybody has, that people love about you, like oh, I love that you're so bubbly, I love that you're so this, or I love that you're so wise, I love that you're so introspective. Or I love that you're so responsible. Or I love that you're so wise, I love that you're so introspective. Or I love that you're so responsible, or I love that you're so on time. There's all of these labels that you put on the reasons why you love people, and then what happens is when you're not able to live up to that version that people love you for, you start to feel less about yourself, because if I'm not on time and they love that I'm on time then they're not going to love me.

Speaker 1 33:52

That was the mentality that I was in and a lot of my private clients was in, and the one that I was working with while I was in Cabo was in that mindset. There was this hyper-vigilance right, like I need to do this, I need to make sure I do this for him and I need to make sure I do this for him. I need to make sure I do this for him and I need to make sure. And then I had a couple of clients. There was another one and he was like a partner. He was like I need to make sure I do this for her and I need to be more supportive and I need to be more of this and I need to make sure. And there's this nervous system dysregulation. That was very clear to me because, again, when you're on the outside looking in, it's easier to detect it versus me detecting it myself. So I saw it in my clients, which allowed me to see it within myself. I was like, wait a minute. I typically do the same thing. I get really anxious. I need to make sure I do this and make sure I do that.

Speaker 1 34:38

And even if it's acting outside of my normal character, I feel like it's par for the course, like, oh, I'm in a relationship, so of course I'm going to do this. And I just remember thinking while I was there because I was there for a whole week, I was there for five days I'm tired of proving myself to partners. I'm tired of feeling like and this is self-inflicted meaning they're not asking me to do it I'm doing it myself and I'm burning myself out trying to prove myself to partners and not feeling like I could just be whoever I was, in, whatever phase of my cycle. If I'm in my luteal phase and I feel like laying down and taking a nap. I used to even say when I say used to, I mean like a month ago I'm not a nap person, I just can't nap. I don't feel like it. I would be exhausted, but I would feel like I couldn't nap. Not because anyone told me that I couldn't nap, but I felt like if I took a nap, all of the things that I needed to do were just going to be waiting for me. So what's the point? I might as well just stress myself out and do them, and I was burning my nervous system out. I needed this trip more than I realized, because I needed to be put back in that position of where I couldn't stress out my nervous system and I could just be and just see how my body was responding to that.

Speaker 1 36:00

So I know I keep talking about the nervous system, so let me just explain to you what it is. The nervous system is basically like your body's command center. Right In your nervous system there's your brain, there's your spinal cord Remember I told you about my spine and my herniated disc and it's your nerves and it controls how you think, how you feel, how you move and respond to the world around you. So there's two parts of your nervous system. There is the central nervous system, which is the brain and the spinal cord. Right, that was the part that I was burning out a lot. I was like I need to do this, I need to do this, I need to do this, and my spinal cord was feeling the pressure of always having to be on. And then there's the peripheral nervous system, which is the nerves that connect the brain and the body.

The Revelation in Cabo

Speaker 1 36:44

So, when it comes to your emotions and your relationships and your PMDD relationships, we want to really focus on the autotomic nervous system, the ANS, so autonomic. So, basically, it's the part that runs subconsciously, without conscious thought, like automatically, and it's based a lot about your habits, right, it's like oh, what does she normally do, or what does he normally do. That's the way that your nervous system is reacting to it. We have the sympathetic nervous system, which is the fight, the flight and the freeze, which is in survival mode, which was my consistent state. I was always hypervigilant, like I need to do this, I need to do this, and sometimes, when you're in the fight or flight or freeze, it doesn't always look like survival mode. It almost can look like it's great, like it's fun, like you're getting things done, you're being really productive, you're doing all of the things.

Speaker 1 37:37

And I was really resisting the part that I was forced to be in while I was in Cabo, which is the parasympathetic nervous system. I didn't even want to say it Like. That's the level of resistance. You can even hear the sigh. I'm just like cause. I always knew about the parasympathetic nervous system. I follow all the people. I know all the things. I've learned about it in my studies. I worked with a lot of clients on it, but I just almost thought that I didn't need to go that route. Like I didn't want to go that route because it was that rest, digest and connect mode. It was that regulation mode. It was that person that woke up in the morning and cuddled with their partner. It was that person that went about their morning or their day without worrying about things, without stressing about things, without being hypervigilant, without having all of these what ifs. And I think a lot of times when you're in your luteal phase and your nervous system is whacked, it's always scanning for a threat, right. So it really shapes how you react to your partner.

Speaker 1 38:45

I remember so many times, specifically during my morning routine where my partner would try to say or do something to me and I would literally snap. I would be like what do you want? I'm doing this, don't you see? I'm in my morning routine. I just wanted to be left alone because I needed to get all of these things done. Almost like my brain couldn't slow down until I got all of these things done. And then I would kind of go into the parasympathetic nervous system where I would rest and digest and connect. And I remember saying to a partner before like once I'm finished everything in my morning routine, then we can connect, then we can talk about the day, Whereas my partner wanted to talk about the day first thing. And I'm just like I can't wrap my head around what I want to do or what I want to say first thing in the morning and I put that on the realms of boundaries. I was like I'm setting my boundaries, I don't want to talk to you before my morning routine is done, and I have a lot of regrets for that because it's not sustainable for a relationship.

Speaker 1 39:44

Yes, you want to set boundaries. Yes, you want to make sure that you're giving yourself what it is that you need in order to feel your best, but when you're holding back connection which is what the parasympathetic nervous system does when you're holding that back, when your partner may be needing that or wanting that or desiring that, then they're put in a place of activating their sympathetic nervous system, which is their fight and their flight and their freeze. What this looks like is your partner is going to connect with you Maybe you're getting out of the bed and they're pulling you back in close to them, or they're wanting to talk about the day, and you're like I just need to go do this, I just need to go do this, and so that's your sympathetic nervous system, like you're. You're like oh, I don't have time to connect with you right now, and you're not really saying it in those words, but that's basically what you're doing. You're saying I don't have time to connect with you. I need to do this laundry list of things on my to-do list, and so what that does is, as you leave your partner in the dust, pretty much, they go into that fight or flight or freeze. They're wondering if there's something that they said or if there's something that they done, or what can they do to get you back into that place where your sympathetic. Your parasympathetic nervous system is ready to rest, digest and connect. Your partner is wanting you to activate your parasympathetic nervous system so that you can connect with them.

Speaker 1 41:04

And when you're in that fight or flight or freeze that survival mode, when you're in your luteal phase, because you're like I got to do this, I got to do that You're not going to be able to connect with your partner and it's going to freak them out and they're going to get to the place where they start to make up a story in their mind as to why you're in the state that you're in, to make up a story in their mind as to why you're in the state that you're in, because all they're wanting is to connect with you. But your nervous system is so out of whack that you're not even in a place where your parasympathetic nervous system can connect with your partner. And when they don't feel that connection, a lot of times partners feel really anxious because they're wondering if they did something wrong. They're feeling insecure about the relationship. They may become jealous. They're wondering if they did something wrong. They're feeling insecure about the relationship. They may become jealous. All of these things happen because you have broken connection from them.

Speaker 1 41:53

And so when you have PMDD, your nervous system is often, very often, in your luteal phase, in a state of dysregulation, meaning it's stuck in overdrive. It's either in overdrive, like mine normally is, or it's in shutdown mode. Right, it's in shutdown mode because you're just like everything is too overwhelming, I'm just blah, like I don't have the emotional capacity to really do anything. And so I want to just talk to you about what it looks like for you and your partner to have your nervous system be dysregulated, because that's where I was living in and that's what I'm presently pulling myself out of, because I'm recognizing that and I'm glad that I'm doing this while I'm single because I'm recognizing how unhealthy it is to have a dysregulated nervous system in a PMDD relationship, like it's not going to work and it's not fair to your partner and it's not fair to you because it causes you to live under the pressure and the realm of overworking yourself and you're going to get burnt out. And then you're going to get resentful because there's something inside of you that's telling you that you need to do things, and it doesn't even have to be your partner. There's something inside of you that's like pushing you. I need to do this and I need to do that. And a lot of times, your partner doesn't even want you to do all the things that you're feeling like you need to do. It is your internal nervous system that is telling you you need to do this and you need to do that because it's having you avoid sitting with your regular symptoms of PMDD.

Speaker 1 43:23

Because what I did was, when I was in Cabo, I just sat with feeling the fatigue and I slept longer. This is what I had to force myself to do as far as regulating my nervous system. I would immediately wake up early and I would tell myself you're still tired, you go back to sleep. You're still tired, you go back to sleep. And when I told myself that, I went back to sleep and gave my body the rest that it needed. So that was me activating my parasympathetic nervous system by giving my body the rest that it needed, instead of forcing my body to get up and do all of the things. So if you think about this waking up in the morning, if you're fully rested and you've activated your parasympathetic nervous system and your partner's trying to cuddle with you, you're going to be inviting. You're going to be in the realms of connecting. You're going to be in the realms of being loving and affectionate and supportive and wanting to like, lean into them. But when you're in that realm of your nervous system being dysregulated and you're in that realm of feeling like you need to do instead of be your sympathetic, nervous system is going to be activated and you're going to be annoyed. You're going to be triggered by your partner trying to connect with you at a time where you feel like you can't, and you may say that this is a PMDD thing, where you're like I can't just relax, I can't just sit. Still, that's PMDD. Telling you that that's not you doing what your body actually needs you to do. When you're doing what your body needs you to do, there's peace with that. So what I found is, even when I did all of the things, I still didn't have peace with it. I was still like on the go. It was like somebody dragging me around my day and I was like I got to do this and I got to do that, and so here's some signs that your nervous system are dysregulated.

Speaker 1 45:05

For the individual that has PMDD, there's a lot of explosive reactions that the fight is happening right. So we're talking about the fight, the flight or the freeze. So you're having sudden PMDD rage, you're yelling and you're name calling and you're blaming and you're attacking your partner for very small things that they may or may not be doing intentionally, and you're feeling out of control. But you're also unable to stop. How many times have you been in your luteal phase where you could almost see yourself going off on PMDD rage but you're not able to stop it? You're not able to stop it, but you can see yourself doing it and it doesn't even really feel good to you. It definitely doesn't feel good to your partner. That means that you have your nervous system being dysregulated.

Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation

Speaker 1 45:48

The next thing is the flight, and we all know about this. This is the PMDD monthly breakups feeling like you have to leave the room, you have to leave the house, you have to leave the relationship, like something horrible is going to happen unless you get the heck up out of there. You're saying things to your partner like I can't do this anymore or I'm done. You're doing it impulsively. You can be in the middle of a conversation and then, all of a sudden, you're telling them you know what? I can't do this anymore, I can't have this conversation, I can't talk to you about this. I can't be in this space with you. You, you're basically repulsed by their presence because they are causing your nervous system to be so dysregulated. That interaction is and your heart is racing, your breath is shallow and you're feeling like if you don't get out of there, you're not going to survive.

Speaker 1 46:34

That is the panic, or the urge to escape, and the next thing is the freeze right, it is the emotional numbness, or you're shutting down. Your partner may be telling you all of these things that they're complaining about or that they need you to do, and instead of you conversating with them, you just go silent. You just shut down mid conversation. I've done this so many times where it's like I don't even have any more words to say. I feel like I'm watching the fight from outside of my body. My partner's going off. They're saying all of these things, they're talking about the altercation. My brain is fogged, like I don't even know the details anymore and I'm just sitting there and I'm just saying I don't care. Like if you want to leave, you can leave. If you don't want to be here, you don't have to be there. Like this is when you're in that part with your PMDD partner, where, if they're saying I can't take this anymore. If you keep doing this, I'm not gonna be able to survive. And then you're literally saying, okay, well, if you don't feel like you could be here, then you can just leave, like I don't know what to tell you. So you're going cold to protect yourself. You're putting a shell You're a shell of a person in order to protect yourself because of your nervous system being dysregulated. And then we go into the fawn which I you know.

Speaker 1 47:48

I remember I talked about a couple of episodes where I was dealing with my psychotherapist and she was like, yeah, you're a people pleaser. Or when you get in relationships, you have the, you have the propensity to be a people pleaser. This is when you're over apologizing or you're people pleasing. You're saying sorry just to stop the fight. Even if you feel like you're right, even if you're hurting, you're over apologizing as if you're the cause of it. I used to do that all the time. I was like, okay, because I would try to find the biggest escape mode. Like how can we escape this argument? By me being the problem, by me taking all the blame for everything? Fine, I used to say like I will be the blame just to keep the peace.

Speaker 1 48:21

So you're minimizing your own needs just to keep the peace, and you're shifting immediately from rage so maybe you're angry and all of the things. And then, after you said all the things that you, you know, said that are below the belt, then you're feeling really guilty because you're like, oh my gosh, I hope they don't leave me, like that was horrible, I can't believe I said that. And the last thing is you feel like you're genuinely going crazy. You can't tell if your reaction is valid, because you're actually thinking and feeling about a situation that actually happened in your relationship, or if it's just PMDD. You're feeling misunderstood, you're feeling unsupported and you're feeling ashamed of your actions. You're saying things that you don't mean and then you're punishing yourself because you're regretting them immediately. First you feel justified in saying them like, yeah, you deserve this, or you're not supportive, or whatever you say to your partner, and then immediately you feel guilty because you're like that was really harsh. It's almost like your brain shifts from you being in the ego and you feeling justified to, all of a sudden, you're a monster because you said these horrible things to your partner, and so that's what it looks like for your nervous system to be dysregulated and for the partner, you also can go through this nervous system dysregulation. You can really go through this whole process without having PMDD. You can really go through this whole process without having PMDD.

Speaker 1 49:43

The biggest way that I see this with all of my clients is the defensiveness. You immediately get defensive when your partner says anything that you've done that's not right or that doesn't make them feel good. You immediately get defensive and there's a lack of accountability that takes place. You argue back aggressively, instead of you taking accountability for what it is that you've done to make your partner feel a certain way, or even addressing the actions that you may have done subconsciously, like I'm not saying you did them maliciously. I'm not saying you did them on purpose, but I am saying if they've affected your partner, you immediately go into well, what about them? They did this to me and they did this to me. And you're saying you always do this. And so you're bringing up past arguments as ammunition to defend yourself against the accusations that your partner is making about behaviors that have triggered them. So you're reacting with control or threats to shut down the accusations.

Speaker 1 50:42

You're basically saying all of these things to get your partner to stop having you hold yourself accountable for things that you've said and done because in your mind, you're like I didn't do them on purpose, like what are you talking about? And then you can go into avoidance or withdrawal. This is the flight mode, right? You're leaving the room immediately, you're canceling them on social media, you're unfollowing them, you're turning off your location on your phone. You're disappearing emotionally even when you're still there, and so you're thinking to yourself I'll just wait for this phase to pass. You're going on a drive. You're spending a couple of days at your family or your friend's house. You're leaving them completely to avoid the situation because you're feeling so overwhelmed and you're just walking on eggshells, which is something that we always talk about, walking on eggshells. So you feel like a way to not walk on eggshells is to completely avoid the conflict that you're having with your PMDD partner, and the next thing is partners shut down and freeze and detach.

Speaker 1 51:38

The partner that has PMDD may be saying all of these things about expressing themselves, being open and vulnerable and saying these are the things that you're doing to trigger me or to not be supportive of all of these things and you're just being emotionally flat, or you're numb and you're refusing to engage. You're just kind of like saying, okay, you're saying things like I'm tired of this or like, whatever, whatever you say, like what I, whatever I say, is not going gonna matter. So, just, I guess I'm the bad guy. This is something that really happens when you're in conflict and you're going back and forth with the individual that has PMDD. You're like, I guess everything's my fault, nothing is your fault. I'm the bad guy.

Speaker 1 52:13

You're feeling helpless and disconnected from your partner because you're feeling like they're seeing you in this negative light and there's nothing that you can do to fix it. They see you in this negative light and it's just something that you're just going to have to deal with. So the next thing that a partner can do is to just really go into this over explaining. Like you want to talk about the scenario again and again and again. You want to bring up old scenarios that are relating to the scenario and you're trying to fix the situation that's going on with the individual that has PMDD. You're suppressing your own feelings in order to keep the peace.

Speaker 1 52:46

You're not talking about how you feel. You're just saying, okay, well, maybe if I do this, then they'll be more affectionate with me, or maybe, if I do this that they'll give me more attention. Maybe if I do this, that they'll feel like I'm doing a good job. You're saying it's fine, even when you're hurting because you're trying to avoid conflict. You're walking on eggshells. You don't know the right thing to say, so. You're really not saying much of anything. You're definitely not saying how you really feel, which is breaking down the intimacy. Your partner never really knows how you're genuinely feeling because you're only telling them what you think that they want to hear in order to avoid the conflict.

Speaker 1 53:23

And the next thing you do as partners is just like you take everything that they're saying and doing in PMDD, especially the PMDD range, and you're taking it personally and you're feeling rejected as proof that you're not lovable. You're literally feeling like they don't love me. I don't even think that they like me. You're feeling resentful and you're feeling emotionally bruised and you get to this point where you're really just wondering is this relationship even worth it? Because a lot of times with partners, it's impacting every other area of your life. Every other area of your life is impacted by what is going on in your PMDD relationship.

Signs of Dysregulation in PMDD Relationships

Speaker 1 54:00

I've had individuals that have lost their jobs because of fights that they've had in PMDD. They're not able to just concentrate. I've had individuals that are fighting with their families because they're trying to support their partner and it's causing a rift between their families and they're going back and forth. And I've had individuals that have had bad relationships with the kids because you're trying to take their place and the kids are saying this, and so you're feeling like you're caught in the middle and so, basically, when your nervous system is dysregulated whether you're the partner or whether you're the individual that's suffering with PMDD you get into the same cycle of talking in circles without any resolution. You're talking and talking and talking about what happened, but there's no solution to the problem. There's no next steps, there's no things that you can do moving forward. There's a lot of interrupting. Nobody can get their point across without someone interrupting them. There's a lot of yelling, there's a lot of cursing, there's a lot of name calling and then there's a lot of going silent.

Speaker 1 55:03

Have you ever been in that place when you're in a conflict or a fight with your PMDD partner and you're like you know what, forget it, like you're saying all these things but you're feeling like they're not getting it. Anyway, why am I wasting my mental and emotional energy, talking to someone who is just not getting it. So you kind of feel stuck in that all or nothing, thinking like I guess this is just not going to work, like you don't freaking get it. You're never going to get it. We've been in this place so many other times over the years, over the months, over the days, all of these things. So you're losing sense of perspective during the fight, like you're feeling like it's life or death, like I guess this relationship is just not going to make it. It's just not going to make it. It's just not going to make it.

Speaker 1 55:47

So what I've done with my clients when it comes to knowing that your nervous system is dysregulated, I've created a program that's really going to help you, because what I needed to do and I had to do the research on this for myself as well as my clients is to really understand. You know I'm all about rewiring your PMDD brain, but in this aspect I'm like I don't really think that we need to rewire your PMDD brain. We need to rewire the rage your nervous system needs to heal. In your PMDD relationship we need to get it to the point where you're recognizing that your nervous system is dysregulated, but you're in a place where you're willing to do something about it. So I created this program and I'll put the link in the show notes for you to be able to get it but it's called Rewire the Rage and it's nervous system healing. So what it's going to do is take you out of that place of feeling like you're walking on eggshells, feeling like you have this uncontrollable rage and you're getting back to a place of just living in a state of where do we want to be? What did we learn on this episode? That we really want to be in that place where your parasympathetic nervous system, that rest, that digest, that connect, that place that's willing to connect and hear and meet your partner's needs and have your needs met is activated for not just a partner that has PMDD, but the partner that doesn't. And what this course is really gonna help you do is to give you step-by-step because it's not a one-step thing Like I do this one thing I just take a trip to Cabo and all of a sudden, my nervous system is regulated. No, we really need to understand where it went wrong. You really have to, and it's different for everybody. This is why I created a course on it because you have to really dig deep.

Speaker 1 57:38

For me, I had to recognize what was my reason for always feeling like I had to do, do, do, go, go, go. What did I tell you? That was my childhood trauma. That went back to my childhood trauma of making me from being in foster care and getting adopted and feeling like I always had to be in this proving mode. That's my story. That's my case. Your case can be completely different, but if you don't go to the root of the reasoning as to why your nervous system is dysregulated, you're never going to be able to switch it around and get it regulated and be in that place where you're able to even catch yourself, because what I had to do when I was on vacation and even now, like rewiring my nervous system.

Speaker 1 58:23

Now, every single time that I feel the urge because I do to go back to that place of dysregulation, I have to use the tools because I know where that's going to take me. I know the place that it's going to take me and it's going to take me to this place of feeling completely overwhelmed and out of control. And I have to recognize that's not really a symptom of PMDD. Specifically, it's a symptom of my nervous system being dysregulated and right now I'm in my luteal phase. I'm on day seven and it's normally my worst day and I'm feeling so much peace, but it's not on autopilot, right? I'm not going to say that I didn't have to do the work and I didn't have to do anything and that I don't have to consistently do things Like this program that I created. I have to consistently use these tools in order to keep myself regulated.

Speaker 1 59:10

So what we're going to do in this course is to get you to a place where you are recognizing what do you need to do to stay in a regulated nervous system. What does that look like specifically for you? So, if that's something that you know that you need help with, you're really identifying whether you're the partner or whether you're the individual that has PMDD. You're in this place of I really need to regulate my nervous system so that I'm able to connect with my partner. Where I'm in a place where my partner can connect with me, because what I noticed is me being dysregulated. My nervous system being dysregulated was preventing my partner from connecting with me, so it was kind of like linked together, like until I got to a place where I was regulating my nervous system. They were never able to connect with me, even if their nervous system was regulated, and so I know that this is something that you don't normally go around talking about, like, oh, my nervous system, my nervous system.

Speaker 1 1:00:05

Just think about it like this If you're in a place where you're fighting and arguing, and you're in a cycle of fighting and arguing in your luteal phase and every single month in PMDD, and you're really feeling like this is not sustainable, like we cannot keep going like this because something is off and I'm not feeling like this is working, then this is going to be the program for you, because it's going to get you to a place where it's going to get you to have clarity. The biggest thing for me was clarity on what was really going on. Once I really got clear okay, this is what's happening, this is what's going wrong Then I was in this place of like okay, now I can do something about it. But until you get clear, I was in this place of like okay, now I can do something about it. But until you get clear, I always say you cannot heal what you don't reveal.

Rewire the Rage: Healing Your Nervous System

Speaker 1 1:00:52

So, and you get this course, you're really going to get to a place where you're going to be able to get clarity on what's really been going on and it's going to make you feel better, because what clarity does is it gives you hope. It gives you hope that there's something that you can do for your PMDD relationships. I look forward to you getting this course. I look forward to hearing about how much it has helped you and if you need a private session before or after the course, you know the link is going to be in the show notes or go to inlovewithpmddcom. But until next time we got this, I love you.