Dr. Tomi Mitchell, your host of The Mental Health & Wellness Show, had the pleasure of interviewing Melissa Rohlfs.
Biography
Melissa Rohlfs is a certified holistic health and life coach helping women break free from what prevents them from being their authentic selves so they can be calm, confident, and healthy. She is committed to empowering women to find freedom and feel empowered in their own skin.
After her own tumultuous history with food {withholding and then later in life, bingeing}, she learned how to deal with the core issues around her broken relationship with food. As a result, she felt called to go to school and learn to teach other women how to do the same. She graduated from the Health Coach Institute as a Holistic Health and Life Coach in 2018 and is the proud owner of Free 2 B Coaching. She is a proud Boilermaker alumna living in Arizona with her husband, Chad, and two kiddos.
Click HERE to schedule a free 15-minute consultation if you'd like support to take the right step towards the great life you deserve.
Contact Info:
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/MelissaRohlfsCoach
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrohlfs/
Instagram
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrohlfs/
Website
https://free2bcoaching.com/
Dr. Tomi Mitchell, your host of The Mental Health & Wellness Show, had the pleasure of interviewing Melissa Rohlfs.
Biography
Melissa Rohlfs is a certified holistic health and life coach helping women break free from what prevents them from being their authentic selves so they can be calm, confident, and healthy. She is committed to empowering women to find freedom and feel empowered in their own skin.
After her own tumultuous history with food {withholding and then later in life, bingeing}, she learned how to deal with the core issues around her broken relationship with food. As a result, she felt called to go to school and learn to teach other women how to do the same. She graduated from the Health Coach Institute as a Holistic Health and Life Coach in 2018 and is the proud owner of Free 2 B Coaching. She is a proud Boilermaker alumna living in Arizona with her husband, Chad, and two kiddos.
Click HERE to schedule a free 15-minute consultation if you'd like support to take the right step towards the great life you deserve.
Contact Info:
Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/MelissaRohlfsCoach
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrohlfs/
Instagram
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mrohlfs/
Website
https://free2bcoaching.com/
SPEAKERS
Melissa Rohlfs, Dr. Tomi Mitchell
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 00:07
Hello everyone, this is your host Dr. Tomi Mitchell from the Mental Health and Wellness Show. Today I have the pleasure of introducing Melissa Rohlfs. She is a certified holistic health and life coach helping women break free from what prevents them from being their authentic selves so that they can be calm, confident and healthy. She is committed to empowering women to find freedom and feel empowered in their own skin. After her own tumultuous history, withholding food later in life and binging she learned how to deal with the core issues around her broken relationship with food. As a result, she felt called to go to school and learn to teach other women how to do the same. She graduated from the health coach Institute as a holistic health and life coach in 2018. And is the proud owner of free to be coaching. She is a proud Boilermaker alumni living in Arizona with her husband Chad and two kiddos. With no further ado, I would like to introduce Melissa. I just want to say we went to the same coaching school.
Melissa Rohlfs 01:12
Oh really? That's awesome. I love it.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:17
Yeah, I do this, I've done a few programs with them including healthy life.
Melissa Rohlfs 01:21
Okay. When did you get doing?
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:22
I did mine 2020, actually, last year, and then I want to have a mastery level coaching as well. Which is good.
Melissa Rohlfs 01:33
Awesome.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:34
So yeah more work.
Melissa Rohlfs 01:35
Awesome.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:38
So tell me about yourself. What would have something interesting about me but the listeners might not normally hear.
Melissa Rohlfs 01:44
I'm kind of a gypsy I live in Arizona right now. But we have moved like six times in our 18 years of marriage.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:51
Wow.
Melissa Rohlfs 01:52
Yeah.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:52
That's cool. I used to call myself a gypsy when I was younger, because I think in the first 12 years of life, I've probably lived in eight or nine or 10 cities.
Melissa Rohlfs 02:02
Okay.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 02:02
And three different continents. So yeah, I can relate to gypsy life. It's interesting. Yeah, it is. Awesome. Tell us something else about yourself. I love the sunshine. Like I love Arizona and I think the Gypsy life has ended in Arizona, this the sunshine, the warmth, just it doesn't rain. It's really my jam. I love it. I do think Arizona is a piece of heaven on earth.
Melissa Rohlfs 02:24
It is.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 02:25
Every time I was there a few years ago and I was like, I was so sad because I was like, why don't we live where I live? I wanna live in here. It was just Yeah. For those of you listening, you know where you live is important. It affects your mental health. I mean, you have two kids and a boys and girls
Melissa Rohlfs 02:45
One of each. We have a 13 year old daughter and an 11 year old boys. So it's interesting in our house.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 02:51
Yeah, you're that really fun stage is starting. Yep. When they're attending but not a kid anymore. That girl they're a teenager, but they're really.
Melissa Rohlfs 03:00
And they growth hormones.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 03:00
Yeah oh. Yeah. I'll skip with my toddlers for a while. Yeah.
Melissa Rohlfs 03:07
Yes you enjoy that for me when I didn't really have good I had it then.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 03:11
I know. Yeah. I that mean on my toddlers. Awesome. So like most of us, we embark on our journey in the health and wellness space with the health and life coaching partially out of a personal experience, right? That was both personal experiences really shape us and like you and I, we chose to take seemingly a negative situation and make it something beautiful and cool. So do you mind sharing with our listeners about that?
Melissa Rohlfs 03:37
Yeah, sure. So my journey and the reason I got into this work, and I have to laugh, because I've been in contact with a lot of people from college lately. And I'm sure they like why you're doing what you did so not who I was. But we were living in Illinois, our son was just born and he wasn't sleeping during the night and our daughter was 2 and had some undiagnosed food allergies and sensory challenges. My husband was traveling for work. And on top of that I had just gotten diagnosed with PTSD from childhood trauma. So kind of the perfect storm.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 04:07
Yeah.
Melissa Rohlfs 04:08
But through that, I started meeting with a naturopath and really learned about why I was so angry all the time. And why even though I was in therapy, what I was eating wasn't supporting me, and it wasn't helping me to heal and make progress and get better and how what our kids were eating well, our daughter, I guess, at the time was affecting her mood. And so it just really opened my eyes to the impact that food has on overall health and every aspect of life.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 04:34
Yes, definitely. So then when you realize the impact on food, what was the next logical steps for you?
Melissa Rohlfs 04:42
Well, it was interesting because we had made this transformation you know, we cut out the foods that we were intolerant to and cleaned up how we were eating and I started to exercise and really I think for me, I felt that I was worth taking care of and then I had value and so I was feeling amazing. I had more energy. I had more confidence, my anxiety was going away, my anger was going away. Like, internally, I felt like a completely different person. But what people saw on the outside was the weight loss. And they're like, oh my gosh, she looks so great, you're losing weight. And so that to me was like, Oh, my gosh, people want to lose weight, I need to teach them how to lose weight. So I joined a company to teach people how to lose weight, and they would get the result, but they wouldn't be able to sustain it and keep it off. There's something missing. So that's when I found HCI. And I'm like, this is the missing piece, because I had done that in your work and that mindset work and that habit change, but I didn't know I had done it.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 05:35
Well said. And you know, I can relate to that. As a physician, you know, practicing for over a decade. Yeah, you get them to get on the process of weight loss and making the health lifestyle choices, but then in order for it to stick, or do that transformational work, and, and yet. It's the missing piece, I think I mean, it yeah. It is, it's the foundation, foundation.
Melissa Rohlfs 05:57
And that's why I think it's so great that you're doing what you're doing.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 06:00
Yeah, exactly. You know, I got tired of giving band aids, quote, unquote, all day, I'm like enough. This is this is not honoring who I am as a person, and what I can help people with, so no bit more band aids. And I think that you and I both know, from our training, that one size doesn't fit all, and we live in a one size fits the world where, because Melissa did this, you know doing this, I want to do the same thing and get the same result. Well, we're different. We can't do that. Exactly. And that's why there has to be a tailored approach to each individual. Yes, there are foundational principles that are universal, but the application of those principles can differ.
Melissa Rohlfs 06:37
100%.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 06:38
Awesome. So I believe many dudes believe that food is medicine. Right? And food is meant to give us energy. Yes, there's a pleasure from part part to it. But its real intent is to energize us. And since this is a mental health and wellness coach, I will tie it to mental health. Go figure out. So what do you see as being the impact food has on mental health? It's everything. It's everything. And I can say that from my own journey. When I changed my diet, everything changed. And when I have those foods that trigger me, I can tell you 100% what they are, I can tell you when my children had them like it is so incredible. And I don't know why more people aren't aware of it. Yeah, why they aren't mindful and in tune with their body and looking at what happens when you do something. What is the reaction cause and effect? Right? I don't know, in our training, you know, assignments that we'll do, where it's like food exercise, where you one morning you eat just vegetables, and no carbs, no protein and you mix the next day you do like protein and this and figuring out what combinations and also maybe at what times gives you the most energy did you find that to be helpful in your work?
Melissa Rohlfs 07:49
100%, 100%. Because I was just eating sugar and carbs and processed foods all the time. And I didn't know why I was curled up in fetal position on the couch when my husband came home. I don't know why I was anxious and depressed. And when I didn't have the energy or the mindset or the mental clarity to be the mom that I wanted to be. And so when I made that transformation, and my body started to get nourishment, everything changed. So yes, it's absolutely about figuring out what works for your body in the right foods at the right time in the right quantities. And it's again, bio individuality, not one size fits all.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 08:23
Love it. Exactly. And to kind of extrapolate to expand on this topic. Many in the science community believe that the guts is like a brain. And I strongly believe that.
Melissa Rohlfs 08:34
Yep.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 08:35
Right? Like there's so many artists that are coming out right now the past week where they're all talking about it and interested in and I'm kind of going off tangent, but that's what we do. It's just compensation. They're talking about how COVID and mental health or physical connection and outcomes. I'm even going as far as talking about certain medications that actually should be protected when people have cases of COVID. No, no, that's a lot. That's not what we're gonna unpack today. But the point is, what's your eating your food, your mental health was unfortunate before, but I'm hoping that with everything that's happening in the world right now that is in our face, not just in some poor country in Africa, you will see and be like, Okay, I need to listen up. Because we do need to listen up. We need to make healthy choices consistently and be mindful of them. It's not about calorie counting, it's not about wearing a size six dress or a size, whatever. It's about living a life that has quality, because we've figured out how to live a long life. But do you want to live long and have so many chronic illnesses and be stuck in a senior's home longer than you have to be like seriously, that's not quality. You want to be able to run out to your kids, your grandkids, be an active member of society and get that validation for as long as possible, have the strength to do well at work and be productive and less time so you have less burnout and you can maximize your earnings and leave a legacy for your kids and support them and train them to do the same. That's the bigger picture, right? Mostly it's not just wellness. It's life. I think it's life and legacy. Yeah, exactly. That's the bigger piece. I really push some people just stop it as Oh, you're gonna feel good. You're gonna look good. Gonna have a happy day. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, that's part of it. But that's not the bigger picture, that feeling good is not going to get you up when you're feeling down because things around you are looking so glum. It's a bigger picture, that motivating factor that really pushes you to go the next mile, right? 100%, you've got to have that strong, powerful, why that's gonna compel you. Because let's be honest, we live in a world where we're inundated with sugar and toxins and all these things that don't promote health and wellness. Exactly. And you know what, I'm finding more I'm in the space and I listened to people share conversations on this health and wellness and sugar. The majority of people really didn't understand or even you understand they don't apply these principles. But I know there's a huge gap for knowledge, because I remember when I was in school, and it wasn't that long ago, I'm not going to date myself. But it wasn't that long time ago, we're talking about then it was the health pyramid. Now it's some kind of healthy plate or something. I don't know what they teach. But the point is, we were taught like we had to do Homeric, and we had to learn about nutritious foods and eating a rainbow and lifestyle and all that good stuff. And I knew what it was as a young child, but I don't think that's the curriculum right now. No, my kids don't get it for me. They learn it from you, right?
Melissa Rohlfs 11:25
Yeah.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 11:26
And so those of you who are listening, who are role models should be drawing lines, they have a wonderful month, unless you so happen to have a teacher who is really outside the box, which is amazing, who's going to teach your kids that and take it upon him or herself to do it based on the curriculum. Your kids aren't learning this? And even if they aren't, that's not enough to just depend on the school has to be modeled at home.
Melissa Rohlfs 11:47
Absolutely.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 11:48
Because we're the biggest influencer on our kids before they go on Instagram or Tik Tok's, we were the first influencers, look at that we are influencers. We are and I think more is caught than taught. I mean, so it's not just teaching but it's modeling and showing them how to listen to their body and how to understand what foods work for them and everything you and I know that we teach our clients you know. Exactly. You know, one thing I learned very, I noticed even before I took my coaching certifications, that I cogs on its own wasn't going to cut it for me I need protein without protein for me, that wasn't a meal I might have felt I would leave eating finish my meal feeling hungry and a hangry because it took my mind more energy to chew it than to even the energy I received from it. Right? Like that was me. It wasn't protein on my plate. I was like, I didn't carve it just wasn't enough to get me through a hectic day at the office or in the hospital. What did you find? The same because I was living off carbs. I mean, that was all I ate I hated protein I love Diet Dr. Pepper and Swedish Fish and big pretzels with cheese and carbs everywhere because I thought they would energize me and help me be happy to be home with my kids and have energy but it was sucking my energy dry. Exactly. It sucks your energy dry. And you know what I think more one has children or has extra responsibilities of life. You don't really notice the sucking the energy drive because you don't have the responsibilities outside yourself. Like when we were younger without kids like he could be up till two eating carbs, carbs, carbs and crash and then get up at like, looking all fine.
Melissa Rohlfs 13:25
Yup.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 13:26
You're saying but then reality hits whoa, wake up call. You got little people to look after who wake up at night, mess up your schedule, you have a job. Suddenly your body's like I told you so you can't put concealer on this. This is beyond concealer. What are you gonna do about it? Listen to your body. So for someone who's listening, and it's like, okay, I'm Melissa. Okay Dr. Mtichell I get it. But I mean, I've been doing what I've been doing for 40, 50 years meaning like, you know, my card life, my pile of pasta, my potatoes kind of lifestyle. How can I even get started? Like, how do you even I don't know, what do you start? How do I get into this? I don't know. I don't know. What do you say? Yeah, I think the first thing to know is that there is hope. And you absolutely can because I live this way. I mean, for more years than I've been alive than I I mean, I ate that way for longer than I that I did. Is it? Yeah, I mean for 30. I don't, I'm not good at math. over 30 years, I lived off carbs and sugar. So if I can change anybody can but I think it goes back to what you said earlier about having a powerful why and that motivating factor and really thinking about why do you want to do this because it's countercultural, and you know, we live in a society where candies thrown out at parades it's socially acceptable to go to a party and you know eat whatever somebody else eating, going out to a restaurant some people potty train their children with candy me included. I mean, it's everywhere. So I think you need to have a powerful why and a really strong desire to change because it's it's kind of against the green. Yes, I know, because you're a fellow graph HCI. Let's look kind of talk about this well we call MoPhO, the motivating factor, right? With flashbacks from being a student, right? For those of you who are listening, in order to make long lasting transformational change, you really have to get some skin in it. You have to know why like, and it's not just the first why, okay, you might say, I want to lose weight. Okay, great. Why do you want to lose weight, they might say, because I have a wedding coming up, or their daughter's in a wedding or whatever. I'm like, Okay, that's good. But if you stop there, then the change really ends pretty much two weeks for the wedding or until she can zip up that dress or pull the pants and they're like why I can't fit. Let's do whatever. You know, like, let's get this party started. No, it has to be deeper. So why do you want to look at at the wedding, it might be well looking because my ex is going to be there and I don't want to look like I'm the bag lady. Okay, now it's starting to get juicy. I'm just making this up. But this is real. This really happened. Okay, so your ex is going to be there. You don't wanna look bad. Why don't you want the benefit of your ex? Wow. Because he left me with his receptionist. Okay, okay. All right, we're getting getting deeper. Why do you want to look better? And like what to do? And then it's like, okay, well, I don't feel attractive. And you keep on going, I don't want to be alone. I'm scared of being alone. And I don't want to be alone. And I you know what I mean, so that losing weight for this person is more, you don't want to be alone, if you had just stopped that you want to look like for the wedding. And it's like a crazy diet facts just crash. Like just totally restrict your calories, you'll lose the weight. But is that sustainable? Is that the body going to thank you? Is your muscle mass gonna say thank you for shriveling me to nothing. No, got to know why. Okay, so once we've known why then we can start at that why that loneliness. What are the feeling of loneliness came from you might go deeper and be like, maybe their mother left them when they were young. And that happened. And among the left, because she had cancer because life happened or she was an abusive relationship. And that's the only way she knew to survive. But to that little child, it's their mother loved them, and then go deeper. The child wanted to be loved, have safety and belonging that's going full circle. And that's what we do as transformational coaches. We don't just stop that, oh, I want to lose weight. So most people do okay, here's a weight loss pill is it is, is that? No, we go to because you want love, safety and belonging. And if we go a little step further, we go we talk about birth rate. As a child born into this world creative conceit, you have the right to be loved to be needed to have your own identity but still belong. And that's a part of it. But then we go right back. We're talking about food Dr. Mitchell. Yeah, I know, yeah, I know Melissa, but it's more than that. Right? It's much deeper than that.
Melissa Rohlfs 17:45
Always deeper than than that. And I had a client came to me today, she said, this is working because I'm not compartmentalizing my health. She said, everything else I've ever done. I compartmentalize my health.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 17:55
Yeah.
Melissa Rohlfs 17:56
And I haven't know how my life and my work. And all of these pieces of who I am has been affected one another. And I'm like lightbulb moment.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 18:04
Yeah, is that holistic approach. It's a wellness wheel. It's like you need to balance it. So it's not just emotional health, or physical health, this spiritual, this intellectual, this environmental, this financial, there's all these aspects of your health that you need to acknowledge. And and each of these spokes of this wheel, you got to acknowledge the past, your present and your future, it sounds like a lot but until you deal with the past, present, and future on all the spokes, so this meal, you are not fully taking a real or authentic approach to this, because you got to find where your blind spots are, because we all have them.
Melissa Rohlfs 18:19
And that past, present and future makes up who you are today. And that's what we're working with.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 18:52
Yeah.
Melissa Rohlfs 18:53
Is who you are today. And those things have shaped and impacted and molded you.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 18:57
Yeah, exactly. And you know, like those things are most impacted, shaped and molded you you are not by accident, you are like a piece of clay that is created through life and changes to something beautiful. And if you use let's say you make a boss, a boss is beautiful on its own. But what if you put a beautiful arrangement in it, what if you do something to it, then it makes it even more beautiful. So you've been impacted, you can change to do something with it. And for those of you who've been to trauma, and most of us have been a deadlift to COVID you live through trauma that was your first one your last in some way. But I've been through a whole lot more COVID was easy, actually in the grand scheme of things. So life happens for a reason. And as long as you have that MOFA that big motivating factor that you're working towards. Nothing really is failure, failure, just like feedback. So you take what we're saying eating nutrition, eating well, knowing the why walking on that path. Enjoy the journey. And when you become mindful, it's just a journey. It's like a little story you protect about once upon a time those little girl her name is Melissa. But the good thing is with these stories, you can have the end she lived happily ever after. You can actually write that you can actually get there. Even if they're tales. There's like the evil stepmother, the parable when the bad Bad Wolf, but at the end they get there. It sounds very simplistic, but that's really how it is we break it down like a child about child's knowledge. Right? Yeah. And I think though, that sometimes people don't think it's possible for them. I think that's where they get stuck, right? Like, oh, well, it's possible for her. It's not possible for me. Well, you know what God is not a respecter of person. So it's happened for one person, it can happen for another. Exactly, exactly. I know you mentioned guys. So we'll go with this, like I was interviewed by the South African podcasts or lectures early hours of this morning. So it was up to like, 2:30 in the morning. It was great. And one of the parts of wellness I forgot to mention or maybe I can mention this spiritual wellness doesn't mean that you have to believe like, I my faith is God, Jesus, that's where I that's me. For you. It might be Buddha might be whoever I don't know. But the point is, the belief in some god, which is greater really is important. It's part of the wheel. We are spiritual beings. We are not just physical we are energy. So remember that. And for me, I believe in my faith background, that I have my heavenly Father, and he owns everything. And He wants to bless me. So when I'm going through stuff, I'm like, Why worry, because my Heavenly Father already owns all this. He got this, I just have to walk alone, one button for any other, learn from feedback, right? Keep on going make healthy choices, focus on my MOFA motivating factor, which ideally should be bigger than yourself. Because when it's bigger than you, then even when you are feeling down, guess what you're looking at that goal and like I got to reach out. It's bigger than me. It's legacy. It's now and the future. So what do you do? You fall you get back up, you eat the Twinkie, you feel that Twinkie box away. You don't ever go back to Kent Island pick up that box of Twinkies. No, you keep on going, you employ No, you don't need those French fries, and you don't have to upsize them. Even if you're on a road trip. You don't need them. You know, the next step, right? You just keep on going. It's really that simple. Like a child learning to walk, learn to crawl, I'm over the couch overnight. Now there are some cases of kids that suddenly went from like, didn't even skip didn't even crawl but just ran. But that's very few. I think about this, too. Like when a child is learning to walk, we don't yell at them for falling down. We don't rate them or shame them. But why do we do that to ourselves? Oh my gosh, I eat a Twinkie. Do this spiral. I know. So be kind, because each and every one of us deep inside is that inner child. And that inner child is actually where we get our beliefs, identity about ourselves, and often how we respond to situation. So if that child had a child that was like stressful per model, they will probably respond to stresses as adults in the same way. And it doesn't just compartmentalize in like your home life. It can job in your finances, in your profession, economy, everything. That's why is the whole person. And that's what makes these conversations we share on this podcast different because it's not like here's a slice of this just this is it. Oh, it's connected, or it's like a yarn. It's like a ball of coffee. I don't personally but you know, you get the picture connected. Yeah, it's so connected. But we've been led to believe that if not, and I think that's incredibly frustrating because it is. Exactly it is connected. Your choices do matter. What you do in this world does matter. Your contribution matters. Your life matters. Your brothers and sisters, not necessarily. They have to be blood brothers, but your human roommates on this planet, they matter to your choices, make an impact, but connected and when you're connected, you shouldn't be lonely and when you're lonely, you shouldn't have this effects of loneliness and when you're not lonely, you shouldn't eat out of emotions of feeling lonely, right? When you're coming from a good place mindful we tend to make better choices right when you're vulnerable. I don't I don't recommend you go to the grocery store. Otherwise you go pick up the Twinkie or the cinnamon buns. Delicious cinnabun but I decided not to go I just get delivered. I just go pick up. And it's sign when you're hungry. That's another no no. Seemingly, it's like you're vulnerable. Like it thats what empty looks so good especially the big island that's your jam like that component. But the cinnamon bun.
Melissa Rohlfs 24:39
And it is now.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 24:40
Yeah. Like if they didn't. I know and it's right by but just yet to pass it on the way to the checkout. Yes. Like they know what they're doing. Even those chocolate bars are right there start calling your name. "Eat me, eat now." It's marketing they know it's that last minute impulse and then there's a reason why the battery there like, so expensive, and everything that they're like the like ridiculous because it's an impulse.
Melissa Rohlfs 24:42
Did you eat it everyday?
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 25:06
Yes and it felt to it children's. I love it too just add another own. That is a whole, like that's a whole class on its own. So the reason lets be aware, just be mindful, eat healthily. So I know we've we've got a light hearted conversation, which is really, really good. And I enjoy that. And as I know, I have listeners that perhaps so like you've struggled, and we all struggle, but to varying degrees, definitely. But I don't believe all struggles are the same or equal. But you know, there are those who like you who can relate to the, you know, the binging. Like how someone that's listening and stuff still struggles with this, because there are people like that I've met them, I worked with them, what do you tell them? Work through the pain, because usually there is a deeper, hurt that looking to be comforted. That was my story. I was trying to self soothe with food or push it down or not dealing with it. And as hard as it is to deal with it or acknowledge or admit or verbalize the pain. When you do that. There's so much freedom, like it's like this huge weight is off of your back. So if you could just find a safe container, a safe space, a safe person to share some of that with that is incredibly helpful. Because then the desire for me wasn't there to do stuff anymore, because it was out. Love it. Love it. Work through the pain. I love it. Because you know, this is what I hear people say if something is for me, or I should do something, it shouldn't hurt. It should be easy and I'm like, no, sorry I break it to you. What are your thoughts? I see you shaking your head. What would people have babies if that were the case. Thank you, you read my mind. I know.
Melissa Rohlfs 26:47
And also, I mean, my faith is the same as yours. I've been telling my children like the Bible says in this world, you will have trouble like we are guaranteed that it's not going to be a cakewalk. So I don't know why we create this expectation that everything is going to be great. And I think sometimes we fall into this trap of okay, because I've gotten confirmation on what I should do or what I need to do. It's going to be easy peasy.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 27:09
Exactly.
Melissa Rohlfs 27:10
Things has never been my reality.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 27:12
I I've said to people thousands of times anything good in my life, nothing in my life that was good came easy. Nothing. Nothing even being born in this world that becoming, nothing. Nothing came on a platter like here you go, no strings attached. I can't think of anything good in my life that came that way. Not one not my kids, not my partner, not my career, not nothing, my health, like nothing, but work. And guess what I really value what I have. And I know part of that value as part of my upbringing to be respectful and grateful. But it's also because I had to work hard and go through the growing pains process. And I'm thankful for it, it builds strength, it builds character, it helps you know that you can get through this when the wind blows, like bigger speech. You're not like oh my goodness, I'm so sad. I did something like, oh, I disappointed myself. I'm just gonna quit. No, no, you will like you say, just keep on going. You acknowledge the moment what happened, how you contribute to it. Think strategize ways you can like things you could do to reduce this happening again, find someone to be accountable to talk to someone about it. Take empowered action, move on. So you ate the Twinkie you know, after you ate it you like this stuff is plastic. How do I even like it as a child. And then you look at the calories like I'll have to run for like three hours to burn those calories. Right? And then you feel bloated, because you realize, Oh snap, you're gluten celiac, when you get to deal with the consequences being on the can like it even enjoyed the process isn't just making up a story. But this is how life is gonna work with the pain, the consequences. I mean, don't eat Twinkie. And the beautiful part of that is then you can share with someone else your experience and what happened to you, and when they're where you're at, and come alongside my garments and help them hopefully find it in an easier, faster, less painful way than you did. Exactly, exactly. And I bet you would say the same. But you don't want most people to go through what you went through your goal is that they can avoid going through those things. So that one, but this is also the truth. Sometimes we have to go through the true things are to learn because like many of us are stubborn. We're super women, we can do you know, I mean, we keep on going hard, but then sometimes life has to really knock us down a few before we're finally like, Okay, I'm listening. And that's okay. That's just like, is there anything in particular in closing you like to share with the audience before I ask you how to get a hold of you. Guys I just want people to know they can change. I mean, I remember being so overwhelmed as that moment Illinois, just you know, eating the Oreos out of the pantry because I didn't know I didn't feel like I was doing a good job as a mom. I felt like I was failing my kids. My house wasn't clean. I was lucky if I got a shower like I was just not in a good place and I just want people to know that anything is possible. You can change you can transform and you can have your happily ever after. Yeah.
Melissa Rohlfs 30:01
You just have to do the work.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 30:02
Yeah. And so so long as like Okay, I'm ready. Finally I am ready to do the work. I didn't want to talk to you. How do they get a hold of you? My website is free the number 2 the letter B coaching.com. So free2bcoaching.com. That's my website. And from there you can find my socials and all things. Love that. Well you know what this has been a great conversation. I know for those of you listening, our podcasts are not scripted. They flow. Yeah, I know that she's a coach and all that and I know a bit about her. We don't like talk about how we're going to go through this compensation. It's a conversation I think the best most honest raw conversations happen when we just go the flow or go as we are led. So again, this is Dr. Mitchell, thank you for spending this under an hour like 30 minutes with us. And if you found this podcast to be helpful, please leave a nice five star review and share it with your friends because honestly, we're not doing this just because we like to talk to ourselves. We're doing it because we have legacy goals that will continue long after we pass. So as always wishing you health, blessing, prosperity, and this is Dr. Mitchell, your Mental Health and Wellness coach. Bye.