Our 50th Episode Special (with Mallory McMorrow)

Today, we’re excited to share something special in honor of our 50th episode of the podcast! Michigan State Senator Mallory McMorrow joins us for a full episode to talk about her passionate speech that went viral, why she wanted to reach suburban women like herself, and how we can all fight back against right-wing extremism. Mallory answers questions about what it felt like to be accused of “grooming” for supporting LGBTQ kids, Democratic strategy, her faith, and her phone call from President Biden. She even shares a Toast to Joy!

Please note, we recorded this episode before the Roe v Wade news hit - but even before that news, we knew that Mallory is an inspirational example of how we can raise our voices and make good trouble. Her message about the power of suburban women is more important than ever, so we hope you find her words as inspiring as we do.

For a transcript of this episode, please email theswppod@redwine.blue.

For a transcript of this episode, please email theswppod@redwine.blue.

You can learn more about us at www.redwine.blue or follow us on social media!

Twitter: @TheSWPpod and @RedWineBlueUSA

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Transcript

The Suburban Women Problem - Season 2, Episode 17

A 50th Episode Special

Rachel Vindman: Hi, everyone. Thanks for tuning in to this special episode of the suburban women problem. This week, we were so excited to be joined by Michigan state Senator Mallory McMorrow to celebrate our 50th episode, and we are still excited to share the episode with you, but only a few hours after we recorded with Mallory on Monday afternoon, we were hit with the devastating news about Roe v Wade. So if you haven't listened to our emergency episode about that, please check out the episode we released on Wednesday, May 4th. 

But despite our rage and heartbreak over the Roe news, we are still so pleased to share our amazing conversation with Mallory. Her message about the power of suburban women is more important than ever. So we hope you find her words as inspiring as we do.

INTRO

Rachel: Hi, everyone. Thanks for joining us. I'm Rachel Vindman.

Jasmine Clark: I’m Jasmine Clark. 

Amanda Weinstein: I’m Amanda Weinstein. 

Rachel: And this is The Suburban Women Problem. Today we are celebrating our 50th episode and we're, I know we're making it extra, extra special because we will be joined for this whole episode by Michigan state senator and superstar, Mallory McMorrow. I should say actually like suburban woman hero Mallory McMorrow. Hi, Senator. Thank you for being here. 

Mallory: Hi ladies. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. 

Amanda: Oh, we are so excited to have you. So last month, as you know, you went viral for a speech you made where you defended yourself from Republican allegations, that because you were defending LGBTQ rights, you are a groomer and a pedophile. You personally. And they also said that by teaching our kids about American history, you wanted to make children feel guilty about slavery. So these are issues we talk about all the time here, so we knew right away we wanted to have you on the show. I think we've all seen your speech already, but we're going to play it now for anyone who hasn't had the chance to watch it or to hear it.

Clip of Mallory’s Speech: Thank you, Mr. President. I didn't expect to wake up yesterday to the news that the Senator from the 22nd district had overnight accused me by name of grooming and sexualizing children in an email fundraising for herself. So I sat on it for a while wondering why me? And then I realized, because I am the biggest threat to your hollow hateful scheme, because you can't claim that you are targeting marginalized kids in the name of quote, parental rights if another parent is standing up to say no. So then what, then you dehumanize and marginalize me. You say that I'm one of them. You say she's a groomer. She supports pedophilia. She wants children to believe that they were responsible for slavery and to feel bad about themselves because they're white. Well, here's a little bit of background about who I really am. 

Growing up my family was very active in our church. I sang in the choir. My mom taught CCD. One day, our priest called a meeting with my mom and told her that she was not living up to the church's expectations and that she was disappointing. My mom asked why. Among other reasons she was told it was because she was divorced and because the priest didn't see her at mass every Sunday.

So where was my mom on Sundays? She was at the soup kitchen with me. My mom taught me at a very young age that Christianity and faith was about being part of a community. About recognizing our privilege and blessings and doing what we can to be of service to others, especially people who are marginalized, targeted and who had less, often unfairly. I learned that service was far more important than performative nonsense, like being seen in the same pew every Sunday, or writing Christian in your Twitter bio and using that as a shield to target and marginalize already marginalized people. I also stand on the shoulders of people like father Ted Hesburgh, the long-time president of the university of Notre Dame, who was active in the civil rights movement who recognized his power and privilege as a white man, a Faith leader and the head of an influential and well-respected institution and who saw black people in this country being targeted and discriminated against and beaten and reached out to lock arms with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. when he was alive, when it was unpopular and risky and marching alongside them to say, we've got you. To offer protection and service and allyship to try to right the wrongs and fix injustice in the world.

So who am I? I am a straight, white, Christian, married, suburban mom, who knows that the very notion that learning about slavery or red lining or systemic racism somehow means that children are being taught to feel bad or hate themselves because they are white is absolute nonsense. No child alive today is responsible for slavery. No one in this room is responsible for slavery, but each and every single one of us bears responsibility for writing the next chapter of history. Each and every single one of us decides what happens next and how we respond to history and the world around us. We are not responsible for the past. We also cannot change the past. We can't pretend that it didn't happen or deny people their very right to exist. I am a straight, white, Christian, married, suburban mom. I want my daughter to know that she is loved, supported and seen for whoever she becomes. I want her to be curious, empathetic and kind. People who are different are not the reason that our roads are in bad shape after decades of disinvestment or that healthcare costs are too high or that teachers are leaving the profession.

I want every child in this state to feel seen, heard, and supported, not marginalized and targeted because they are not straight, white and Christian. We cannot let hateful people tell you otherwise to scapegoat and deflect from the fact that they are not doing anything to fix the real issues that impact people's lives.

And I know that hate will only win if people like me stand by and let it happen. So I want to be very clear right now. Call me whatever you want. I hope you brought in a few dollars. I hope it made you sleep good last night. I know who I am. I know what faith and service means and what it calls for in this moment.

We will not let hate win. 

Rachel: It was just absolutely perfect. You said all the right things.

Amanda: With the right tone and it was exactly when the nation needed to hear it. Cause I know, so my husband is a state rep too. He had literally been called a groomer starting just days before, me too because I'm associated with him. So I have also been called a groomer. Is there, like a club? Like people who've been called groomers and oh, guess what? Everyone's in it. 

Jasmine: Literally, everybody.

Amanda: I know, literally everybody. It was like what we needed to hear, of like someone has to address how ridiculous this is. And you did that. 

Jasmine: Yeah, absolutely. I want to just say that as a state representative, I know what it feels like to have your constituent or a friend be like, oh my gosh, I just got this mailer about you, or I just got this email about you. Look at the things that they're saying about you and not really knowing whether to like, respond or just like, let it roll off your back. And so I think that you masterfully handled that situation and you're kind of my hero. Like, I'm like, okay, I can do this. And I don't have to just pretend like this horrible thing wasn't just said about meI can fight back. So I just want to say thank you to you for, you know, kind of empowering me. Even though other people probably were like, Jasmine's not afraid to give a speech, but I mean, sometimes I am, sometimes I do. And so I just want to say thank you. I'm so glad you're here. 

Mallory: Oh, that means so much. Thank you. You know, it was so jarring to and you hear this term groomer being thrown around, but that the way the email went out and it was actually my husband who sent me a screenshot of it. I hadn't seen it yet. You know, I started working, he texted me. But it was, it was by name. It was me, it was Mallory McMorrow D snowflake, which isn't even doing the joke right. But that was, you know, she called me a social media troll and said that I'm upset that I can't groom and sexualize kindergarteners and make eight year olds feel bad because they were the cause of slavery. I mean, it was just so hateful and just digging into it for a second. You know, it's a phrase that gets thrown around a lot, but by definition it means somebody who is befriending a child for the purpose of molesting them. It's so disgusting. And I think part of the reason that I wanted to respond in the way that I did is that we've seen this Republican party and I want to be intentional that this version, because I represent a lot of Republicans, I represent Mitt Romney's hometown. So I want to be clear, it's not the people that I represent. It's this leadership. Has decided that you can say whatever you want about anybody else. And there are no consequences. And the reason I wanted to respond the way I did is. To show that there are consequences because the reason they're doing this is they're winning. It's a winning strategy. And until more of us stand up, take our own identity back, but also say, you're not gonna win if you do this to people, it's going to keep going. 

Rachel: We have so many questions for you about your speech. And we got some great questions from our Facebook community SWEEP as well. So we're just really looking forward to getting into that. In your speech. You said that one of the first questions you had when you saw those horrible accusations was why me? Why do you think, why you, why attack a white, Christian, suburban mom? 

Mallory: Well, that was, you know, I really stewed on that for a whole day. I didn't respond the day that I saw the email. I wanted to sit with it and I talked to friends in the LGBTQ community. I talked to friends who are black, who have already kind of gone through the CRT fear-mongering and scare tactics and trying to figure out, you know, why, why me? And then I realized, you know, it was me because I was a warning shot to all of the other frankly, suburban white, comfortable moms that if you dare to stand up to them then you're not one of us. You're one of them. And it was immediately trying to say she can't be, you know, a mom who cares about parental rights because otherwise she wouldn't stand with them. So that is, once I realized that, that that was the attempt to dehumanize and marginalize me so that they could keep claiming to speak on behalf of all suburban white moms, that that's why it was me because I was a threat because I broke that narrative that says that, you know, all Christians believe that LGBTQ people are sinful and dirty and filthy and groomers, or that, you know, if you teach accurate history and understand slavery and the impact of systemic racism today, that that means you're making white kids feel bad because they're white. And, you know, I don't know about anybody on this call, but when I learned about slavery growing up, I didn’t align myself with the oppressors. I understood that slavery was terrible. You know, what can I do? You know, you realize like how horrible this was, the fact that people could own other people and say, oh my God, I have to do something to fix that, to make life better. So, so that's what I really realized. And then it became, instead of me feeling horrific, cause I felt horrific the day that I got the email, then it was empowering because then it was, oh, you're a threat. And that's when it's okay, let's go, like  suit up. We're going to take this on. 

Rachel: That's why I love it because I understand that feeling of it's just like a gut punch. I mean, I remember reading some things about my husband before we could ever speak, speak out and say anything back because he was an active duty military officer. But I remember that feeling and I also know, like how empowering it is to speak out now and to, to hit back at the allegations. And I but you know, just getting back to, to what you said, like it was, you addressed everything, I think so well, and it's such a blueprint for suburban women and men, a jumping off point from which to have these discussions because you're right. Like first off the groomer is a really offensive term, it's loaded. And we, we do not need to cheapen this. It it's huge. And we can't cheapen and also. We don't want kids to feel bad, like stop saying this, but you have to define it. You know, it's the whole name it to tame it. You've got to talk about it and talk about what they're saying. 

Amanda: So you talked about it as why you were attacked as a Christian suburban mom. And you talked about being very empowering and you have used this as a jumping off point to empower other suburban, white, Christian moms. Why, why are you, why did you, because I've heard you specifically say this group, like it is time to stand up. Why this group?

Mallory: Yeah, I mean, look the, the data shows, we know that Donald Trump was elected president because of suburban white women. And, and we have to take responsibility for that. And we've seen how powerful it is when we organize and mobilize. We saw this in 2018. I got elected because of suburban women who were pissed off and angry and didn't sit on the sidelines anymore and said, let's start organizing. Let's form indivisible groups. Let's form democratic clubs. There's a group here in Oakland county where I live called Fems for Dems, and it was started by a woman named Lori Goldman, who’s kind of pitch to, to her neighbors was ‘what if we bought one less handbag a year and instead put that money to electing Democrats?’ And it was just like, all of these women came out of the woodwork and are a force of nature and realizing that, you know, we, we cannot constantly expect that the people who are on the receiving end of the attacks, particularly minority groups, cause by definition, there are fewer people in minority groups to stand up and defend themselves without us. You know, you need the rest of us to stand up and fight back. And the reason that I wanted to address that group specifically, you know, people who look like me, who are comfortable, who are generally fine. Is that we're all really tired. You know, I think that we have to acknowledge that moms in particular are really burned out after the past few years. I had a baby during COVID, like I get it, trying to find childcare and like navigate having a full-time job and breastfeeding in the middle of all of this has been exhausting, but my hope was to reignite some of that fire and passion that we all found in 2017 and 2018 to say, we have to do it again. You know, it isn't just a one and done, right? Because, just because Donald Trump is not in that office anymore, it doesn't mean that that culture is gone. It's clearly not, you know, it unleashed the acceptance of hate and anger and fear-mongering, that is now being weaponized again, because we got comfortable. So that was really my, my focus. And, and I've talked to a lot of people who said, you know, why are you just talking to suburban white women? I'm like, because it's our responsibility. We have to stand up and take the hits. We can't constantly expect, especially LGBTQ kids, kids, children, to stand up and just ask to be seen as people. They need us. They need other moms to get in the game, get a little bit uncomfortable and fight back. 

Amanda: Love that mama bear time to mama bear. 

Jasmine: Yeah, exactly. 

Mallory: Oh yeah. 

Jasmine: So Mallory, I know from just like going to lots of different meetings and talking to consultants and organizations that the number one rule that they tell us is, do not repeat the attack.

Amanda: Yes. I have heard that so many times.

Rachel:  I am going to roll my eyes one time and it's just going to stay like that, cus, every time it's coming soon. 

Jasmine: But you did it. You intentionally repeated what the Senator said, like you said it in your speech. So I just want to know why. I'm trying to figure out like how you got the courage to basically go against the grain.

Mallory: Yeah. So, you know, we, that, that is always the tactic. And I know, you know this, but it's like, don't say your opponent's name. Don't don't like, don't give it credit. Don't give it air. And I've thought about that a lot. As we've seen these attacks get levied, but let let's be real. So the accusation of grooming and pedophilia, that comes from Q Anon, that comes from the darkest corners of the internet. And this is the same conspiracy that says that, you know, the election was stolen from Donald Trump and all of these sorts of things. And that the government is actually run by a Satanist cabal of pedophiles. And when that goes too far, this is why a gunman opened fire on a pizza place in DC, thinking that there were children trapped in the basement, that didn't even exist. So it's really dangerous if we let this specific attack go unchecked. And now it's not in the darkest corners of the internet, it’s in the mainstream. It is being used by one of our major political parties publicly to target kids and their parents. So I represent one of my constituents is, is the mother of a trans daughter. So she and I have talked a lot over the past few years about the fact that her school and their community and the sports scene everybody's been so supportive. So why are these attacks happening? And that's really where I drew the line was this wasn't just an attack on me. This is an attack that they're using against me, that they're also using against a lot of other people and it's causing real damage. So I don't think we can pretend like it doesn't exist anymore. I don't think we can follow the advice that, oh, if you just don't talk about it, it will go away. Clearly, it's not going away. It's getting worse. It's it's building, it's becoming more powerful in the same week that this email went out about me Tom Barrett, who's running for Congress against Congresswoman Alissa Slotkin sent out a text message that said ‘confirmed your child's gender reassignment surgery has been scheduled. Click here.’ And the click was to his fundraising page, but like, can you imagine getting that text? It is just direct fear-mongering and it's disgusting and it's going to continue going. So that's really why I decided I wrote a lot of things down that were hitting directly back at the attack against me talking about, you know, hypocrisy and here's what people in your party have done. And I erased all of that because that doesn't take it out of the Republican versus Democratic mudslinging that I think is why people disconnect from politics in the first place. So it was hitting back, calling it what it was, but trying to take it broader than, than just slapping back, which isn't going to get us anywhere. 

Amanda: I love that you just told a real story of a real community who has supported this trans kid. Right? We hear so much from a very vocal minority that has no experience, never met with a trans kid, has no idea what's going on. Doesn't even know if their own kid is really affected by this or not, but we don't hear enough of those stories. Right. We see a lot of times I feel the media shines a light on this person is complaining about trans kids in sports. I haven't really heard a story of this community has embraced this trans kid and sports and said, you know, we are going to support them because they're a kid in our community. And that is an important story that needs to be told and more of the, and I think it goes with, like what you're saying, we need to shine a light on this. Right? And we need to tell our side and we need to address it. We can't just like, ignore it and pretend it's going to go away. 

Mallory: Oh, absolutely. And I think it is reclaiming, and this is what I've been talking about a lot. Like we love our families and our communities and our kids. And, you know, I want my kid to grow up feeling like she can be whoever she's going to become. And I want her to meet people who are different than her. And that is, you know, part of why I know my parents signed me up for sports, right. Is like to learn how to compete and how to win and how to lose. And it's just the idea that somehow a fifth grader who wants to play soccer with her friends is the reason why you know, you're having trouble paying for your healthcare. Or their teachers are leaving like that, I really wanted to make that connection too, because here in Michigan, we already have a process with the high school athletic association for if there is a child who wants to play on a sports team that matches their gender identity, there's a process. You apply for a waiver. The association has to approve it. The school has to approve it. The team has to approve it. Everybody's involved and it works. There have been a total of nine kids over the past five years who have used this process. That's less than two per year. And all of this vitriol targeted on two kids, kids like not Olympians kids who want to kick a ball with their friends is asinine. 

Amanda: I compare that to the number in foster care, the number that are in poverty, that number that don't have health care. Come on. 

Mallory: Right. Stop attacking kids. Start supporting kids. 

Rachel: We are in like unprecedented times and we always say this, but it's time to write a new game plan because the one we had isn't working and you know, our, our opponents have a new game plan. We need one too. And that means we will stay true to ourselves. We're not gonna, we're not going to go do crazy things and, you know, and call people groomers or whatever. We're not going to do what they do, but it does mean we need a little bit of a new approach and I'm okay with you being in charge of that.

Mallory: I'll help in whatever way I can.

Amanda: Second. 

Jasmine: Yeah. Speaking of Mallory, like, so I I thought I had gone viral, but I've never hit a million, so I don't think I've really actually gone viral. I’ve gone like mini viral. But 

Amanda: Like what virus would that like? What's like a mini virus?

Jasmine: Like super tiny, like poliovirus is like a million, cause it's a big virus, like physically big anyway, back to her. So like what does it feel like to see your message go viral on Twitter and just like, how has that like changed your life or your work at all? If it has, I just, I'm just wondering what it's like to you know, all of a sudden, like you said, State Senator in Michigan to like, oh, like millions of people across the country know me, they're talking about me, they're bringing me on their podcast. The president's calling me. Like, how do you feel about that? 

Mallory: I mean, it's weird. It's certainly not what I thought two weeks ago my life was gonna be like. But I have been, our office has received some national attention before and not, not in a good way. So Michigan has been the focus of relitigating the 2020 election. Mike Lindell apparently had an event where he said that Oakland county, Michigan was one of the places where he had quote, unquote evidence I'm using air quotes, but I'm going to say it because I know this is a podcast, that computers in China changed votes in Oakland county, Michigan. So that's where I serve. So we have gotten phone calls, emails from all over the world, you know, saying that, that we are responsible for stealing the election. So my staff is used to a little bit of negative attention and I kind of warned them once we saw this was, was taking off. I was like, be prepared for backlash. We're going to be okay. Like we'll get together and have wine and we'll decompress, but we're going to be okay. It has not gone that way at all. So we have had. We have to clear out our voicemail inbox about every 30 minutes. My PO box I've stopped by everyday myself, it is stuffed to the gills with people handwriting stories, letters of all backgrounds.

You know, I got one who was like, I am a black grandmother from Texas. I'm 98 years old. And like you whooped their ass. Yeah. It was one of the messages I get, you know, people like from the LGBTQ community and parents saying, you know, that this is, this moment is reminiscent of the first kind of groomer scare, and the, the quote unquote, save the children campaign decades ago. And it feels like we're going back there again and saying, thank you. It's been overwhelmingly positive. So I have never been more exhausted. My team around me is amazing. My husband is my biggest supporter. So if you're on Twitter, you'll always see Ray Wert like under a tweet about me, and like dropping a donation link.

Amanda: I did notice. I was like a good husband, Ray. I need to take some tips from Ray. Wait, can we talk about Ray for a minute? So is your husband Jewish? 

Mallory: He is. 

Amanda: Yes. So I thought this was super interesting. So my husband is I'm so I'm Christian raised evangelical Christian. My husband is Jewish. Oh, Rachel. So husband is Jewish. Yes. And I was like, oh, this isn't this. Jasmine we're trying to find her a Jewish man right now.

Jasmine: I am single. I am single. 

Amanda: But I find it interesting. So like, how does this shape, like, so you talk about yourself and your background and you were raised in the church in a Christian Church. So how, how did this marriage happen? 

Mallory: Oh my gosh. The shortest version of the story. So I used to be a car designer. This was not my career. I designed a concept car in 2007 that Jalopnik, which is a website that he was editor and chief of, wrote about, and that's how we met. 

Amanda: Cute. I love it. 

Rachel: A car designer from Michigan who becomes a state senator, I mean really the movie writes itself. 

Mallory: I hope that not that I think that everybody's paying attention to like how me and Ray are interacting on Twitter, but he is my biggest partner and supporter. And you know, isn't somebody, you know, it's the counter to the Tucker Carlson. Whatever his testosterone special is about like men not being manly enough. I'm like no men can be supportive and love their families and be strong and love strong women. And like, let's get rid of this nonsense, enough. 

Amanda: Yes. Amen. 

Jasmine: And I love that. I love that. So Mallory, I kind of want to switch gears a little bit because I love the way you ended your speech. Where you said we will not let hate win. And I, I always like to end my speeches with something like a take home message. And I think that is an amazing take home message. What do you envision we can do together to defeat hate? Cause it feels like this beast and with tentacles, that's just touching everything. How do we defeat hate? 

Mallory: We have to get involved in politics. I know too many women who are just like, ooh, its too nasty. I don't want to get it. It's just like, I don't like politics. Right. But and Jasmine, you know, this, this is where decisions are made. This is where laws are written. This is all of these policies that impact everybody. This is what happens. So we, we all have to get comfortable with the fact that we're getting into it because the beautiful thing about our country's system of government is that it is run by the people. It's for the people, by the people. We are the people. So if we don't get involved, that means we are letting somebody else make the decisions for us. And they tend to be old white men and like, it's not going great. 

Amanda: No, who are known to know exactly what young women want. Right? 

Mallory: Yeah. 

Amanda: That's exactly what we need. 

Mallory: So. I think that that is my hope. And I've had multiple events in my district since then to talk to women and so it's like find a campaign to volunteer on, make sure everybody is registered to vote, make sure they vote in the primaries and the generals, make sure, you know, one of the things that I tweeted on Twitter, do you know everybody who represents you at every level, not just in Congress, all the way down, find out who they are, find out what they support. And if you don't like, let them know, write them an email, call them, you know. We have to get involved in this and put pressure on the people who represent us to actually represent us. And that's how, you know, hate doesn’t win. And I said win intentionally, because this is politics, it is unfortunately for better or worse a numbers game. We need more people to vote with us than vote with them. So let's make sure that happens. 

Mid-roll: Thank you for tuning in to this special 50th episode celebration of the suburban women problem, whether you've been listening since day one, or you've just joined us for the first time today. Thank you for being part of the problem. With this week's news about Roe v. Wade it is more important than ever that we all join in the fight. Head over to redwine.blue to find ways to take action and make a difference. Thanks again, and enjoy the rest of our conversation with the amazing Senator Mallory McMorrow.

Amanda: So I have a question. So you have really, you talked a lot about your faith and what your faith means to you, to you. So I think that Dem Democrats have a hard time messaging to people of faith. How do Dems flip this script? How do we message to people of faith to get on board with our message? 

Mallory: Well, I think it's an overused word. So I don’t love using it, but it's true. Be authentic. So a lot of people have said, you know, your speech is a template. It's not, if it's not your story, right. Like this was very core to me and who I am. And I'll be honest. I have been kind of reluctant to talk about my own upbringing, because again, I feel like the, the, our Republican colleagues have really dominated the idea of what faith means in public office. When I fill out an endorsement questionnaire, it's usually one line it's like religion blank. And sometimes I don't even fill it out cause I'm like, well, my relationship is complicated. Like, yes, I was raised Catholic and I was raised in this church, but our experience wasn't that great. So we didn't attend church every Sunday. And if you ask me like what parish I belong to now, I don't, but I believe in service and, and works and expressing, you know, that upbringing through service. And I think more of us need to share that story. I know that my faith background and faith experience is not unique. There's millions of people that share that. And I think we can, if that is your story, share that story. And I think that Democrats can give people space to feel like they have a place, because I think right now it's either you are sort of a performative Christian, which is what I called out in the speech, or you don't get to claim it. And if you don't have a faith background, that's great too. Or if it's a different faith or if you just believe in like going to yoga every week and centering yourself and giving back to others, that's wonderful too. So whatever your story is, talking about our values and where we come from and why we do this is going to give permission for a lot of other people to find themselves in, in this space.

Rachel: I think it's, it's so powerful that you talk about sharing your story because when you share your story with people, so in talking about being involved in politics, a lot of people will truly believe, I found that they think they don't have anything to bring to the table. That's simply not true. You just need to show them how, like, what they can do and everyone can do something.

Mallory: Right.

Rachel: We're all just normal people and we're pitching in. And so you don't have to, you know, have a degree in political science. You don't have to, you know, have worked on campaigns before you can really just start where you are. 

Mallory: And I think that that is actually so much more powerful than an extraordinary, like, you don't have to have a master's degree in public policy or have gone to Yale or any like. People want to know that the person that represents them is like them and sees them and understands them. So like, maybe you're just somebody who didn't even go to college, but you love organizing a I don't know, town wide yard sale, something that brings people together. You buy groceries at the same place everybody else does. And your kids go to the same school. Like people want to see themselves in the person that represents them. I talked to a lot of people in my district about beer. I'm a huge craft beer fan. It's a big thing we do in Michigan and football and like, 

Amanda: Oh we went to the football. Are you a Michigan fan?

Mallory: Oh, I'm a Notre Dame grad. So it's but I'm like, listen, go Irish. We all don't like Ohio State, we can unite around that.

Amanda: Oh no! Oh no!

Rachel: Okay. Now, now we have to end the podcast.

Amanda: And they’re like. And that is it for today. Go Bucks!

Jasmine: Yeah. I love that. I like when I run into my constituents at like a restaurant or the grocery store, and I remember having a conversation with one of my constituents and them saying something to the effect of, I don't think I've ever had a conversation with my state rep. I didn't think that I could. And I'm like, you can talk to me, like I am just a regular person. We shop at the same grocery store. We eat at the same restaurants. Our kids play on the same sports teams. Honestly, some of the things that you are concerned about or you're scared of. Or you have questions about, I might have those questions too. I'm still a human being. I don't have all the answers. I try my best to find the answers and I try my best to be a really good representative. But I think part of being a representative is being in my community and not sitting on this hill, looking down below. And so that, I mean I think I also ran in 2018, I think 2018 just brought in his new breed of politicians that were like, we're going to do politics different.

Amanda: I think that’s true. 

Mallory: Oh yeah, sure did. 

Rachel: Yeah. You know, I, I think it's when you talked about the letters we, Alex and I also, well, not me, but Alex received a bunch of letters and thousands and tens of thousands. I don't know. It's like, it was a lot. Okay. The beauty of it is when you do it or, you know, someone else does the right thing. People can see just a regular person doing, you know, and they just did the right thing at the right moment. And maybe sometimes they do the right thing. I mean, Alex often does the wrong thing. Sorry. I mean, he, you know, maybe like, you're not always like living this pristine life, like.

Mallory: I mean no.

Rachel: I don't know about you. Maybe you do, but he doesn't and you know, like, there's always like, oh, here, right matters Alex, you need to take out the trash. But it is

Mallory: Don't come to my house right now.  It is an absolute mess.

Rachel: That's it that's real. I mean, but I do have to ask like, just how do we, you know, this is a question that we got from, from our Facebook group is like, how do we regain the moral compass in our society? How do we get back to the place where we can just simply be civil to each other? 

Mallory: I mean, hopefully, you know, a huge part of my optimism and I swear I have it. Um, is I hope COVID numbers stay low. I hope we can get back to in-person events and seeing each other, because it's such a different experience when you're at an event or a restaurant, you know, Jasmine, as you were talking about running into people in real life, it is not the horrible echo chambers that we get on Facebook and Twitter, where, you know, it's an algorithm designed to feed you the same stuff that's just going to get you mad all the time. I got in trouble once, because I told even people on democratic circles, you know, I don't watch cable news. I subscribe to newspapers and people, somebody said, why are you encouraging people to be uninformed? And like, it's not, it's just, you know, everything is not breaking news. It's not a news alert, like go into your community and talk to each other. Yeah. So, so that's my hope is is we, you know, I hope schools stay open because that's a lot of where we saw the vitriol with, with parents and school board meetings and groups like moms for Liberty forming to take advantage of the frustration of parents. Just get back out into your community in the real world and talk to your neighbors. 

Rachel: Amen

Mallory: Be a person, we’re people we’re not like Twitter avatars. 

Jasmine: Yeah. Well, Mallory, I think this is a perfect note to end on before we switch to one of my favorite parts of the interviews that we do, where we ask some lighter, rapid fire questions to get to know our guests a little better. So are you ready to put a little pause on the big questions and have a little fun? 

Mallory: I am. 

Jasmine: All right. First question, your passionate speech went viral, but is there any other topic that you would give a speech about with the same level of passion? 

Mallory: Yes. The, the under-covered importance of underground punk and ska in New Jersey in the late nineties and early two thousands.

Amanda: Whoa, very specific. You had that ready. 

Mallory: I grew up in New Jersey. And I used to go to ska shows at the king buffet. It was a Chinese buffet that would shut down and it was under age shows. You would pay $5 and they would just like move chairs out of the way and ska bands would play. 

Amanda: All right. Who would play you in the movie version of your life?

Mallory: Somebody suggested Anne Hathaway this week, and that would be amazing. 

Amanda: I love Anne Hathaway. 

Rachel: I like that too. Have you gotten any exciting new Twitter followers since all this happened? Do you have a lot more Twitter followers? But I mean, anyone super exciting?

Mallory: I do have a lot more Twitter followers, which means that my notifications are a mess now. But Jason Sudeikis started following me and Ted Lasso was such a welcome respite over the past few years.  It was, it was heartwarming and we haven't seen anything like that in a long time. So I was really excited about that. 

Jasmine: Love it. All right. So what was it like getting a phone call from president Biden?

Mallory: Super embarrassing because I missed it. So I was putting my daughter to bed and I didn't have my phone in the room. And my, my husband saw my phone ringing and didn't even pick it up. So he left a message. And I talked to him the next day, but it was, it was just really wonderful. He’s very funny, like much funnier than I expected from what you see on TV and things like that.

Amanda: Oh, wait, what did the message say? 

Mallory: It said, hi, this is Joe Biden, president Joe Biden, as if I wouldn't know. that one. Yeah. It just, you know, said thank you. We, I saw your speech. Yeah. Yeah, unreal. 

Amanda: Wow. That is so cool. All right. What do you do for self care? 

Mallory: Not enough. That's for sure. But I really love yoga. There's a yoga studio in my town and we are all so close that we go on retreats together. So instead of just like traveling to places and meeting people, like we travel as a little group and I love them so much.

Rachel: What is your favorite summertime activity? 

Mallory: My favorite summertime activity is blowing my entire annual budget on sunscreen. 

Rachel: Yeah. Same. Red heads unite. 

Mallory: But ice cream, I am a huge, like I could eat ice cream all day, every day and we have so many phenomenal roadside ice cream stands, like in my district that I love going to. And my favorite one has extended their summer. They are now open from February 1st to November 30th, in Michigan. So it's like negative 20. 

Amanda: All right. So Mallory, another tradition we have here on the podcast is our toast to joy. Before we leave each week, we like to leave our listeners with a little something positive. So Jasmine we'll have you go first. Jasmine, do you want to start us off with your toast to joy? 

Jasmine: Yes. So my toast to joy this week is actually to the semester coming to a close. So it's been a busy semester. We had a really tumultuous and just stressful session. And then on top of that, I worked full time as a professor. And so one session ended and then I, you know, I finished out the semester. I just am kind of ready, even though it's only going to be like maybe five days of a break, like I'm ready for that five day break before the summer starts. So my toast to joy is to getting those grades turned in. I haven't done it yet, but I'm speaking this into existence. Getting those grades turned in. So I can get like five days of like, I am not going to do, I'm probably still going to do work, but like, I won't have to do any work. I won't be obligated to do any work. And then I'll be right back in the classroom, you know teaching the next health care workers of the future. So, that's my toast to joy. 

Amanda: That's I think this year was hard for students. Like, I don't know something about a full year of like in-person and then they're like, okay, that was more exhausting than I thought. 

Jasmine: Yes. 

Amanda: So my toast to joy, that’s a good one, Jasmine. So mine is actually, we had a pancake breakfast this weekend. I did actually lose all three of my children at some point at this pancake breakfast. They're all fine. I found them all. But so they were with my friend and it was pancake breakfast. There are so many members of the community there. What was really nice was my husband saw me talking to someone. So we kind of shooed the three of them off to be with my friend for a second. She was like, yeah, it's fine. And so it was really nice to have this community event where you're around so many people that know you, that moms just kind of like mom tag team without even knowing it. And they're like, yeah, no problem. Your three kids will come with me for a few minutes. Right. And I love this community event. It's so fun. It supports our schools, but also I love making parenting a community thing when you need it. And sometimes you just need someone to know where your kids are at for you. 

Jasmine: I love that. 

Amanda: So mine is to the pancake breakfast, community parenting.

Jasmine: I love community parenting as well. It's like, ah, I need to do this thing can you like, I mean, now mine are older, but I do remember being like, oh, okay. Where are my children now? Like, oh, they're sitting with so-and-so's mom. Oh, great. Perfect. All right, Rachel, what is your toast to  joy? 

Rachel: My toast to joy is to some of our biggest podcast fans who usually listened to the podcast before I do my good friends that I spent the weekend with, and they have been harassing me to have Mallory on the show. 

Amanda: Same, so I've been harassed a lot. So my DMS will now go down because people will stop harassing me. Yes. 

Rachel: But we, we did a girls weekend and I said that I am flying home on the red eye. You'll all be happy to know I'm going home. And we are going to interview her together. So actually they are very excited about even the concept as well of all of us interviewing you, but, you know, just to spend, we were on the beach in San Diego and it was nice to get out of the DC bubble and not gonna lie. 

Jasmine: I love San Diego. 

Rachel: I know it's awesome, but can I, you know, I mean, man, we have a gorgeous country and it is so diverse. I love the diversity of just sitting and watching new people watching and there's nowhere like it in the world. So I've kind of gone from friends to the beauty and diversity of the United States. So I've covered it all here.

Amanda: But wait, did you go to Balboa Park while you were there?

Rachel: I have no, I have been before, but we did not go this time, but it is talk about a beautiful place.

Amanda: I love Balboa Park and if you know the story of it, so Balboa Park, basically every, all the trees you basically see, so San Diego is known for being lush. It is actually from a woman who was like, you know what, this town's kind of ugly. What if we made it pretty? And like legit, that is how San Diego pretty much is the state it is because one woman's like, let's make it pretty and plant trees. And I don't know why it's called Balboa Park. It should be named after her anyway, but this is one of the, there's a story called tree lady all about how she was like planting all these trees and made San Diego what it is today. And she doesn't get any credit for it, but.

Rachel: Oh wow. That's awesome. And I, I will say just I, for a long, I always, I always had friends you know, in the military spouses, but it's important to have friends who encourage you to do the right thing and who are there for you and, and who are supportive of, of what you do. So I just encourage everyone to make those friendships.  That was a really long toast to joy. Mallory, can you tell us your toast to joy this week? 

Mallory: Yeah. I’m gonna pivot and go off of what you just said. My toast to joy is I've had so many messages, not only from strangers, but from people in my life, who've come out of the woodwork. I got one last night that said, I think we went to summer camp together in the late nineties and just wanted to say how proud I am of you and that it, it means so much. So my toast to joy and I think recommendation to everybody for an action to do this week is, there is somebody in your life who you probably haven't talked to in a long time who you're proud of.  Just let them know, like a text or a message. I like, it has just bowled me over and refilled my cup to keep going and we can all do that for other people. 

Amanda: I love that. 

Rachel: Take the time to write those letters. Actually, one of my friends that I was with this past week, I told her how much it meant, just the handwritten notes that we got and how that filled me at a time when I, I really needed it. And to read that and, and to see those, and I told her, I just. You really can't even quantify that, how special and how meaningful it is. And and she told me now she like makes an effort to write notes. And I really, I highly recommend everyone do that as well. Well, we have a lot of, a lot of advice for you. Actionable advice. Everyone can do something. Mallory, I just can't thank you enough for joining us today. It was so, so special and meaningful. And thank you to everyone who joined us in celebrating our 50th episode. What a, yeah. What a milestone! We will see you again next week on another episode of the suburban women