And Now, We Fight

Today, we lost rights.

Tomorrow, we do whatever it takes to get them back.

You can’t lose hope - that is what they want. We know that right now it seems bleak, but you CAN NOT give in to despair. We are in this together. And together, we are going to fight the extremism in this country that led to this moment.

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For a transcript of this episode, please email theswppod@redwine.blue.

For a transcript of this episode, please email theswppod@redwine.blue.

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Transcript

The Suburban Women Problem - Season 2, Episode 26

Rachel Vindman: Hi everyone. I'm Rachel Vindman.

Amanda Weinstein: I'm Amanda Weinstein. 

Jasmine Clark: I'm Jasmine Clark. 

Rachel: And this is an emergency episode of The Suburban Women Problem. Just under two months ago, at the beginning of May, we recorded another emergency episode when the Supreme Court opinion on Roe V Wade leaked. Back then, we were a little surprised–I mean, we all knew this is a possibility, but personally, I wasn't ready for all the emotions that came to the surface when I read the news. 

Obviously today, we're not surprised because we've known this was coming. We've been talking about it for the last eight weeks on the podcast. We've talked about how it might affect fertility. We've talked about it in regards to sex education and to the equal rights amendment. But we can't stop talking about it. Especially now that it's official. It's real now. And it's going to affect real women. How are you guys feeling about it? 

Amanda: I mean, I'm shocked. I don't know why, like I know I've been literally talking about this, but I'm still really, really shocked. Like I think most of my life I have to go around pretending like the best is gonna happen and the best did not happen. 

Rachel: I think I was shocked too, because like, I heard it was gonna be today, and then people were saying, “oh, it's not gonna be today.” And I was kind of doing other things and then it just popped up on my phone and it just, it just hit me.

Amanda: I'm a little bit of a Pollyanna where like, when I go through the research and I feel like, I know what is the right course of action and what we should be doing with policy… like, in my mind, I'm like, “this is what we do, because this is what we should do.” And then when it doesn't happen, my little Pollyanna brain is like, whaaaaat?

Rachel: I know Jasmine, you're at a conference and you're with people who maybe haven't been tracking this like we have obsessively. 

Jasmine: Oh no, no. They have been tracking this because I am at a social justice conference–

Amanda: Ooh. 

Jasmine: –full of people who work in this space. And here's how I found out about it. I walk into the room just after breakfast. I got there a little late and everyone's crying and people are hugging each other, and other people are like, “what can I do for you?” And I was like, “What just happened?” Like, I, I, I just, it was kind of like, I just walked in a room and something catastrophic had just happened and I was completely oblivious because I hadn't gotten the news. So the way I found out was through the reaction of other people who work in this space, who, like you said, knew this was coming, but it didn't make it any less devastating. 

The way I like to think of this is, I was explaining this to someone else, I was in a car accident, one of the worst car accidents I've been in. I spun out on the highway and I eventually hit a wall and that's how I stopped. And honestly, while I'm pretty sure I was spinning a lot faster than my brain was perceiving I was spinning, it felt like a very slow motion... I remember seeing people looking at me through their windshields as I was spinning around in circles, and then I finally hit the wall. And I feel like the leak was me spinning out. And today is me hitting the wall. 

And the crazy part about that is… I've stopped, I'm not going anymore, I'm not spinning anymore, I'm still in a bad situation cuz I've hit this wall, but now I can like gain some type of control. And what that control is, I don't know. But that's just how I've been feeling. And I think one way I feel like we can control this is, right now, state legislatures are so uber important. And so for me, I'm like, “alright, y'all, we've hit the wall, this is bad, we need to check for injuries, we need to, you know, assess triage and then we've gotta do the work of healing and we gotta figure out how to do that.” And so I think that's where I am with it. So my reaction to it was probably a little different than others. It wasn't tears. I immediately jumped into. All right, guys, what are we gonna do? Like, what are we doing now? 

Amanda: Oh, no, mine was shocked. Mine was like, I'm just gonna ignore the world for a few hours, I'm gonna pretend this isn't happening, and maybe in a couple hours, it won't be happening. Turns out not true. It's still happening. So I don't know. I need a new strategy. 

But I do think state reps, first of all, I think we have undercounted how important our state reps are and our state legislators. And a lot of people don't even quite know what they are. I don't think I knew what one was until my husband became one, but they're really, really important.

Jasmine: Like so important. 

Amanda: And they're even more important now. Like, so go find out who your state reps are, your state legislators. Reach out to them, start knocking on doors for them. There's a lot that you can do. 

Rachel: They are going to determine if you have access to abortions, if you have access to birth control, if gay marriage will be legal in your state, continue to be legal in your state. They've already said they're gonna go for these things. I mean, not just in the opinion, it wasn't just in the opinion. Clarence Thomas actually said it this afternoon. He said that, and this only matters if we keep talking about it, because right now we're outraged. But right now it's the end of June. We have a long time to go until November.

And I tweeted… maybe in anger, I don't know, but frustration. I was like, “maybe we should put pictures of women who have died from illegal abortions at the gas pumps. So people can stay focused on this.” 

Amanda: I tell you what though, like, I don't know how you ladies are, but like, I note things and my husband knows I will be like, “do you remember what you said 10 years ago when we were in the grocery store in aisle two?” And he's like, “what the hell? How do you still remember?” Like, cause I do!

Rachel: Oh, I do too. 

Amanda: Like I remember, and I noted it, right. If they're thinking that like the ladies are gonna just forget by November, we won't! And if we think we're gonna let anyone else, we won't! 

Rachel: But I, I, we just have to keep talking about it, I still think we have to keep talking about it. We still have to remind people. 

Amanda: Oh I’m gonna keep talking about it. Yeah. 

Rachel: But we have to remind people what's at stake. I was kind of, I might have said this to you guys in text. I don't know, but I, I was thinking it like, it was personal for me when my husband was attacked and our family was in danger.

You wanna talk about personal? You're going after my daughter. So if you thought Rachel was feisty when you came after my husband and my family, just wait because you, my friends, conservative SCOTUS and your asshole gang of men who wanna take away my rights, you have just taken it to the next level. And I mean it. And I was upset at first, I was really upset because in my heart, I feel I've let my daughter down. That I have not taken advantage of every time I had to vote for it to really count and that I have contributed to this situation. And, and, and I, I really do feel like that. And that's something I have to work through. And to atone for my sins, if you will, I am going to do everything I can from now until November into the next presidential election and every moment in between to make sure that I am electing people who will protect her and give her the same rights that I have. 

I got a direct message from someone, a really brave Twitter soldier, who then sent me a direct message and then blocked me. And you know what he said? “Fuck your rights.”

Jasmine: Wow. 

Rachel: That's what he thinks of my rights, of your rights, of our daughter's rights. 

Amanda: Oh yes. And that's what the Republican party is celebrating this right now, that is what they think. That is their mantra right now. They are not for freedom. They are not for rights. 

I saw a meme one time where someone was like, “oh, this is against my religion. I can't do this.” Great. Don't. Good for you. Don't do it. Are they gonna make us all eat fish on Friday now? 

Rachel: Right? I mean like what you do doesn't affect me. Do you dude! But stop telling me how to live my life! While issuing everyone a gun, by the way.

Amanda: The Republicans have been talking about this bullshit, like the “activist court,” right. But really what the court has been doing, which they did not deem activist, was putting a hierarchy on our rights. The court has for a while now been determining which rights they think are above other rights. And that is very activist and that's what they did today. They determined that the religion that they personally hold is above our own personal rights. 

Rachel: It's, it's unconstitutional! 

Amanda: I know! And in the Jewish faith, like Rachel, you know, actually in the Jewish faith, there are reasons where it is mandated by the Jewish faith to get an abortion. It is not okay not to get an abortion if the mother's life is in danger. That's not okay. This is religiously not okay with Jewish people. But somehow the ruling today says, “screw the Jewish faith. We're gonna pick our version of Christianity, not what's actually written in the Bible. Just the bullshit that we, how we wanna interpret it.”

So 13 states have trigger laws, meaning that basically starting right now, abortion is now illegal in those states. And that includes Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Tennessee, Kentucky, Missouri, Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, South Dakota and North Dakota. So I remember hearing this list and seeing this list, and I actually didn't know whether or not Ohio was on that list. So it's not right now, but I can guarantee you, it will be quite soon on that list with our Republican held majority.

Rachel: We are creating two Americas, one where people have rights and one where they don't. So like in Michigan, for example, where they have a law from 1931 that's still in the books. And that law makes abortion a felony with a penalty of up to four years in prison, even in the case of rape or incest. Roe V. Wade made that law unenforceable, but now that Roe is gone, that law from 1931 is now the law of the land in Michigan. 

Amanda: And for those that are in, you know, California or Colorado thinking like, oh, I'm so glad I am here, not in one of those poor 13 states, guess what's next. You think that just banning it in those 13 states is good enough for Republicans? 

Jasmine: It's not, absolutely not. 

Rachel: Vice president Pence called for a federal ban immediately afterwards. It was like 30 minutes after, within 30 minutes of the decision being released, he called for a federal ban on abortion.

We have to vote. We have to mobilize. Start now, plug in and let's create that framework, that ground game for local elections. My goodness, the House of Representatives, they are elected every two years. Every two years! Every representative in the House of Representatives in the United States Congress will be on the ballot.

Please vote, please, please, please vote and take other people to vote. It's really important. If you can give money, give money. I mean, I hate asking people for money for politics, cuz it's so gross. But look, the fact of the matter is it costs money. 

Jasmine: A lot of money. 

Rachel: Yeah, it does. Jasmine can tell you!

Amanda: You don't have to let, you don't have to agree with it or like it, but it does cost money. So if what you can do is like give money to a local state rep or a local candidate, do it. If what you can do is have a picnic in your local park for that state rep, do it. There are lots of ways to jump in. 

Rachel: Take advantage of every place you can to get information, to get good information, so you can have talking points and approach these subjects from unique ways that will hopefully at some point get through to someone.

Amanda: I think they have underestimated how mad they can make women, but also how much we talk to other women. And I, so before the ruling came out, so this was like, just like yesterday, I was talking to my daughter who really wanted to know where babies came from. And I told her, so I won't repeat it here, but I told her right, exactly where babies come out. And actually the first thing she said was, “oh, I don't wanna do that. I don't want it. I don't want any kids.” And I remember in my head thinking like, and I told her like, “well, then you don't have to have kids.” And I remember thinking like, “oh shit, what if that, what I told her is not actually true? Like, if you don't want children, but the government makes you?” Like, that really sucks. But I like the way she thought about it. And we talked about it, it's her choice, right? But that’s not actually true right now.

Rachel: I think that's why I was so sad today. I mean, of course my daughter's gone and I'm sad that she's at camp and I miss her and I was looking at pictures, so that also was quite triggering. But I mean, I'm just thinking, like, “what am I doing? I'm trying to give you the whole world and all these opportunities, and yet I'm not giving you rights. And I'm making you fight for something that I had that now you don't.” I feel like we're like the first generation of women to be giving less to our daughters than our mothers gave to us.

Amanda: I know we fought so hard to put them in piano lessons and, you know, soccer class and all the things that we wanted them to have to set them up for life. We have a government now who's like coming in to just take away a lot of freedoms. 

Jasmine: I think I have conversations with my 13 year old that when I was 13, I was a little afraid to have with my mom. But my 13 year old is a lot more open about understanding– and maybe it's just the world she's growing up in, honestly. So where I am at this conference is very close to DC. And so the first thing my 13 year old said to me this morning was, “are you safe?” Because she actually equated this decision with something that is so big and major that violence might happen, which is a whole other subject about the PTSD of watching January 6th happen. And now she literally equates major political things with violence. 

But you know, when I have these conversations with her, her whole thing is like, “well, what about this scenario? Or what about that scenario? And how is that right? And how can people be okay with that? And why is it anyone's business?” And that's the point, right? Why is it anyone's business? Roe V. Wade was about privacy. Let's be honest. It was about privacy. It was your right to privacy to make these healthcare decisions. 

Rachel: The only way out of this to get ourselves out of this hole is just to fight. There's three branches of government. We've gotta control two. We know that one is lost to us for a while. It is, it's lost to us for a while. There are some ways around it, but they can only be overcome if we have the numbers. So we, we need to maintain the other two branches of government and it's completely doable. Now is not the time to throw your hands up in exasperation and think that there's nothing we can do. There's a lot we can do. We've got to stay in the fight.

Jasmine: And I just wanna point out this because I think sometimes we have a little bit too much faith, or we want to have faith in our systems. This is the same Supreme Court that gave us things like the Dred Scott decision and the Plessy decision. These were bad decisions as well, but we are now in a place in our country where those things are things we teach about in our history classes, as you know, the bad things that we had to fix. So this is fixable. It's going to take time and it's going to take getting the right people in place. Things can change, but it definitely, definitely starts with the people in our country deciding “I wanna see something different.”

Amanda: So on that note, there is no Toast to Joy this episode. There's not a lot to feel joyful about right now. A lot to drink about.. 

Rachel: I think the Toast to Joy is the power of women. And suburban women. If we get in the fight and stay in the fight and commit to making a difference, we have more power than they want us to think we have.

Amanda: And the best tool that Republicans have right now is our despair. They want us to give up, which means we have to fight harder than ever. Thanks so much to everyone for joining us today. I want to encourage everyone to go to go.red wine.blue/roepod. There, you can find a ton of information, frequently asked questions and ways to get involved. Now that the court has spoken, we want to know how many suburban women are willing to join us to fight extremism. Join us because the fight isn't over. It's just beginning.