Have you ever caught a whiff of gingerbread and been instantly transported back to your grandmother's kitchen during the holidays? That's the kind of magic we're stirring up in our latest cologne fragrance review, where we take you through the enchanting world of scents that are more festive than your ugliest Christmas sweater. From the sweet nostalgia of gingerbread to the crisp whisper of pine in White Fur, we weave together a tapestry of aromas that are bound to tickle your senses and spark memories of holidays past.
As we spritz and sniff our way through artisanal wonders, you'll join us in the laughter over packaging mishaps and the shared perplexity of a scent that's more conceptual art than daily wear. Our candid blasts from the past and personal anecdotes offer a peek behind the curtain, revealing how our own stories are as intertwined with these fragrances as tinsel on a tree. We're even diving into our history with jobs that connect to the spirit of giving, proving that the right scent has the power to evoke not just memories, but emotions and deep personal reflections.
Raise your glass—of eggnog, that is—because we're wrapping up with a toast to the season of kindness. Whether it's sharing tales of generosity at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru or pondering over the allure of a bottle of White Fur, we're celebrating the impact of small gestures and the warmth they bring. So, cuddle up, hit play, and let's revel in the joy and connection this holiday season brings, as we share our love and appreciation for you, our extended podcast family.
Have you ever caught a whiff of gingerbread and been instantly transported back to your grandmother's kitchen during the holidays? That's the kind of magic we're stirring up in our latest cologne fragrance review, where we take you through the enchanting world of scents that are more festive than your ugliest Christmas sweater. From the sweet nostalgia of gingerbread to the crisp whisper of pine in White Fur, we weave together a tapestry of aromas that are bound to tickle your senses and spark memories of holidays past.
As we spritz and sniff our way through artisanal wonders, you'll join us in the laughter over packaging mishaps and the shared perplexity of a scent that's more conceptual art than daily wear. Our candid blasts from the past and personal anecdotes offer a peek behind the curtain, revealing how our own stories are as intertwined with these fragrances as tinsel on a tree. We're even diving into our history with jobs that connect to the spirit of giving, proving that the right scent has the power to evoke not just memories, but emotions and deep personal reflections.
Raise your glass—of eggnog, that is—because we're wrapping up with a toast to the season of kindness. Whether it's sharing tales of generosity at the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru or pondering over the allure of a bottle of White Fur, we're celebrating the impact of small gestures and the warmth they bring. So, cuddle up, hit play, and let's revel in the joy and connection this holiday season brings, as we share our love and appreciation for you, our extended podcast family.
Hello, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to a very festive Cologne podcast episode.
Myke:Merry Christmas, you filthy animals. Yeah, keep the change. I don't know. I'm Mike and I'm Ryan and we're two best friends. One of us has a really sexy voice and the other one just a normal, everyday white guy voice. Stop, and we're doing a fragrance podcast. We're giving you uneducated opinions.
Ryan:That's right, and today I searched the webs. I was trying to find a Christmas tree or like some kind of pine tree type of smell. Oh yeah, so a few months back I was playing. I was like man, let's do something real festive. So I searched and lo and behold, some Reddit posts had talked about this brand Pinewood Perfumes.
Myke:Did you buy a discovery set or did you just pick random ones Like why did we get so?
Ryan:many samples. No, it was the discovery set. I want to say it was like 50 something bucks and there's a lot yeah my God, For 50 bucks.
Myke:That's a hell of a deal, because we probably got what 15, 20 fragrances.
Ryan:Yeah, and I don't know if they misspelled it or were being cheeky, because it said when they delivered it to us it was addressed to the colonial podcast, that's right Spelled like that, which we go all the way back, and I said, like the invasion of the Cologne podcast, I said in Spanish and since then every once in a while, ryan will just randomly go colonial podcast. I think maybe this person, whoever's running this, heard it in Spanish, nonetheless came in like a little red festive little bag here, do you?
Myke:think they listen. I don't know, that's kind of like. It seems like that is a little Easter egg of a thing.
Ryan:That's why I'm saying I feel like they did. Yeah, maybe so, or at least they have.
Myke:I don't know. Hmm, we got to find out. If you're listening, pinewood, we want to know. Okay, before we get into these fragrances, I just want to give you a little bit of a layout of how this episode is going to go. It's a little different. This is more Christmasy. We're going to be just opening presents left and right, and by presents I mean fragrances. We're going to be smelling those multiple fragrances on a single episode.
Ryan:Yeah, we picked out five that interested us because we got a shitload we can't do all of them, but one do some.
Myke:One was like gingerbread, I wanted to smell, and then you were like, should we do cocoa mint? And I was like I will probably hate that. So yes, we need to do that one as well. So we have those two plus. We have one called white fur, one called fog, something Fang horn, fang horn Right, he's calling it fog horn. And then we have Merckwood, which is their best seller.
Ryan:Apparently yes. Okay, I'm really excited for these because, reading from the brand, you know the about section this is like somebody who loves pine forward type. For her he wanted to smell like realistic forces and stuff. So I'm excited Me too.
Myke:So do we just jump right in? I guess I think we're starting with white fur, aren't we? We can? Okay, well, I have a for a grant to review. Hit us with it, mike. Okay, well, first it's from salivating soul. Stiss, it's like salivating soul, and then hyphen Stiss, yeah, okay, nice play on words there. And then I think it's a picture of a beaver as their avatar. This should have taken the name Clemen pine, because there is actually pine in here. Along with the sweet orange, this is another solid fragrance. White fur, in a nutshell, is pine mixed with sweet orange. Clemen pine, which I love, was more orange base.
Ryan:That sounds interesting. Yeah, like Clemen pine. Is that like a certain tree or something? I think?
Myke:it's a play on clemen tine, which is like a clemen tine orange, oh, and then pine, which is a hilarious name, and that's a name of one of the fragrances as well Clemen pine, yeah, from pine word.
Ryan:Huh, we didn't get that one though, did we?
Myke:I don't know, I don't know. You've been like guarding the bag, like a dragon in his gold just laying on top of it. Okay, all right, you want to do what With Benedict Cumberpatch's voice memorable, good Lord, that dark, deep voice. I want you to do it first, okay, Because this is the one you were like.
Ryan:I'm really interested in that one, let's do that one.
Myke:See you and the listeners don't love my voice. Woo, I did. Would that stain a shirt? That's really green, even on the card.
Ryan:These are parfum extracts, is what it's listed as. Oh my God, that smells amazing. I can smell it from here and it does smell fucking good Wow.
Myke:Yeah, it's a tree. It's like shit. If oranges grew on pine trees is what it smells like.
Ryan:Like that might be the most realistic orange and most realistic pine I've smelled in a fragrance and it's strong.
Myke:I can smell it over here. Ryan's a good arms length away. That is gorgeous, god yes.
Ryan:Were you prepared for that out the gate to be that good?
Myke:No, here's what I was afraid it was going to smell, like you know some of the I won't say the name because I don't want to trash the brand.
Ryan:He just mouths something and whispered it. I have no fucking idea what he said.
Myke:Okay, well, I'll tell you later, but either way, you know how it's got. Like that hairspray smell. It's because smells kind of cheap. Oh, you're saying Mason Margiela? No, oh, sorry, I was saying another one that I don't want to trash.
Ryan:I'm not trashing Mason Margiela.
Myke:But either way, some of these fragrances that lean into the more experimental also kind of smell cheap. Yeah, and I was worried that it was going to go down that route. That's no knock at Pine word. I just you know, you never know.
Ryan:I mean, I know this fucking brand existed until I found a Reddit post and, like everybody in the post was like blown away by this fucking shit. So dude.
Myke:it's incredible that fragrance right there. I would wear that. It is so unique.
Ryan:Dude, that is so good. If these are anywhere close to this, I'm going to be blown away, but I think we're going to be disappointed with the rest. I just have a feeling they can't be this good and it fall right out of the gate.
Myke:Yeah, they can't all be that good. You're worried.
Ryan:Guys, I'm telling you, this smells. It's like masculine, but it could. It's unisex, I believe, but it's like masculine, but it's so sweet it could be feminine. Yes, that's a badass one Good God.
Myke:that's. That is incredible. That's good God. What's the? What's the?
Ryan:price on this thing $205 for 57 ml Holy croc-a-moly baby, yeah, they, they be proud of them.
Myke:Prices they're having to hand. Squeeze those Clementines. Let's see, god man, I'd be tempted to, though, good Lord that smells amazing.
Ryan:Let me find white fur just to make sure Bottles are okay. There's nothing crazy about the bottle, oh yeah.
Myke:It goes along with the theme, though. It's basically clear glass with like a frosted pine tree on the front.
Ryan:Let me read what they kind of say about it. I should have done that earlier, and I'll do it earlier with the next ones.
Myke:And then we also have a message we're going to read the reason why I keep mentioning that Ryan has such a sexy voice. Oh God don't embarrass me.
Ryan:I promise you, I don't have a sexy voice.
Myke:That's weird of God.
Ryan:All right, White fur was constructed in a similar manner to Ponderosa I'm assuming that's another phrase I have I created. This is the creator. His name is Nick Nielsen, I believe Sounds like a country artist. All right, I created a co-extraction of white fur resin and needles, Refined it into an absolute and then wore this on my skin a number of times to familiarize myself with its nuances. I selected a series of notes for the perfume that I felt were already present to some degree in the raw X-Trade and added a few structural components. The result is white fur, a delicious Ponder ball of perfume, festive in nature but with potential to be worn all year.
Myke:Yeah, the fruity citrus of it makes it to where you could wear it in the summer, but then, yeah, that pine tree popping out is a very wintry type vibe.
Ryan:We're probably going to be biased because we really do like pine smells.
Myke:We are out here literally behind the pine curtain. That's what they call it.
Ryan:Wow, that is seriously like outdoorsy masculine, but on like a real level. I'm like giddy about it. That's sick, that's sick. I'm so excited. You know what? Let's follow your excitement then with one I think you're going to be fearful of, and that's Coco man. Oh yeah, I'm going to crush my dreams. As you know, mike is not a fan of mint. He has come around to some mint fragrances yeah, but they have to be like LeMol. Yeah, that one's amazing. All right, I'm going to do this one. Oh shit.
Myke:Sorry. Good God, mike's going to smell like that for a year. Fuck, that's dark. Sorry If you can hear me splashing over here. I'm staying hydrated.
Ryan:Damn. I seriously like this.
Myke:No.
Ryan:No no.
Myke:No, no, no.
Ryan:There's something badass about that.
Myke:There's something to it, there's something good about it, but there's also something that's like just I actually sprayed the mic and it smells really good right now. This is better than I thought it was going to be. I bet in 10 minutes it'll smell great. Look how fucking dark.
Ryan:that is yeah this. This might stay close for real.
Myke:You probably don't want to spray it on light colored clothing.
Ryan:Damn, this smells good to me. It's like mint chocolate. I guess that's pretty good coming from me, because I'm not like a big gourmand. It's not too much over the top.
Myke:The only mint chocolate I like are the Andy's Mints. Oh gosh. Any other mint chocolate chip anything I absolutely hate. I don't care for that.
Ryan:That cocoa mint. Now, this one didn't have a what do you call it review? Right, and funny enough, I don't see it listed on their website. That's scary. Oh, what if this is a new one? Huh, I'm trying to make sure it wasn't something that's been renamed or something. Yeah, I hate that I can't tell anybody anything about this yet. So there's no review for this. There's nothing I can find online for it, but they sure as fuck gave it to us as a sample.
Myke:Yeah, they did. Huh, maybe they're giving us the exclusive because they're huge colonial podcast fans.
Ryan:Doubt, god that is. That's pretty damn good. I know you don't like it, but that's pretty damn good.
Myke:I bet if you like mint chocolate anything, you probably love it. I really don't, and you guys already know how I am about mint. It smells like raw cocoa mixed in with toothpaste to me.
Ryan:Hmm, because it's not super sweet. Yeah, I could get that, Bob. You trying to ruin it for me?
Myke:No, no, no, no, no. Please enjoy it, because you're taking that one home with you. Okay, so let's do I want to get another sniff on white fur again, just to cleanse my palate. You want to?
Ryan:get. You want to get horny on this fanghorn yeah, let's get fanghorny baby. Look how like thick and green mossy.
Myke:Yeah, dude, this is like the blood of a tree. I'll let you spray this one.
Ryan:Here we go. Is he processing actual, like raw stuff, like needles and stuff?
Myke:He has to be. I got to give kudos to the guy. Yeah, feels very like scientific. Oh, oh, oh God, bad smell, like just I don't want to color your Whoa. That is realistic AF. It's like you know the Wow, you know, like the green moss that grows on like really thick dirt. Yeah, it feels like you just took a big hand to that and just crammed your nose in it.
Ryan:Damn. I don't know if that's wearable or not, but there is something kind of pleasing. It's definitely. I don't know if I want to say intriguing or off-putting, but it's.
Myke:It may do something. Right now it's like that is moldy and mossy baby.
Ryan:I know there's something on this, so let me pull it up real quick. That was fanghorn. Yeah, I think I have fanghorn Like a little review. Yeah, we should have read that before we did that.
Myke:That's okay, we'll get into it now. This is Lucy Goosey baby. Okay, you don't know, you just open a gift and then you're like who's this from? Oh, is this from OTA mom? From Fragrantica, who says musty and earthy, a bit moldy, and I agree with that A conceptual scent rather than a fragrance to be worn, my least favorite of the line. Hmm.
Ryan:Oh, that is. It's also in a weird way it's extremely masculine. Yeah, it is, but God, it smells like somebody that just walked in from chopping trees, like fucking Paul Bunyan or something.
Myke:Yeah, I think there's somebody out there who probably does some really manly shit like that and they come in and the woman's like God, I love coming smelling like that and he's probably going to buy some shit Like foaming at the mouth.
Ryan:Yeah, they're like oh. I mean it do be like that out there. I mean, you keep going back to it. I really think you're kind of intrigued by it. I might be that woman. Whoa man, it is that one's tough. I'm not going to lie. Let me read you what. Nick Nielsen I believe that's how your name spelled OK, Her pronounced a dark and sticky fur perfume with Sorry, Go ahead, you parched there. Buddy God, you have to have a metal canteen in here dude, I'm not even sponsored.
Myke:but I'm tell you right now Corksicle bottles, it's called a Corksicle Keeps you're not called a Corksicle.
Ryan:It really is the hell is it got some ice bar in it or something?
Myke:No, but it keeps this water cold all day long. I'm shocked. Huh, corksicle, amazing at keeping. You know there's ones that's like keep your drinks cold for 14 hours. That's all bullshit. They're lying these guys, it's true. Wow, it's crazy, but you have to. Yeah, you know, very off putting sound. Sorry about that. Continue.
Ryan:Nick Nick Nielsen yeah, a dark and sticky fur perfume with fresh do and earthy root qualities. I can agree with that. Yeah, reminiscent of new and old forest growth in harmony, recreation and renewing of the original Fanghorn, featuring a broader spectrum of what's that word? I'm too dumb. Confery Caniferous oh, caniferous extracts voted best artisanal perfume in 2021. Nice Congratulations, nick. Yeah, parfume X-ray it's their all perfume X-ray, but that's a little manly. I don't know if I can pull that off.
Ryan:And I'm guessing the price is the same on all these? Probably. Yeah, they're pretty much.
Myke:They're usually top out at 205 for Okay, yeah, that one is very artsy for sure. Go ahead and get back to that white fur. I think where he's really won is when he's taken it and then actually made it into a wearable fragrance the white fur so far is still it's incredible King.
Ryan:It's ridiculous.
Myke:Hey, let's go. Gingerbread, yeah, and then we'll save old Merckwood for last.
Ryan:Okay, make sure I got the atomizer facing the right way and not juicing down your fucking mic. Still smells like Cocoa Mint. Ok, here we go. Holy shit, you're not going to like this. I don't think, but I have a reason why I like this.
Myke:No, I love it.
Ryan:Wow, this is like like a what do we call it? A scent memory, ok, of the gods right now. So Todd, which we all know and love Except for except for one person that gave a review has loved every episode with the one with Todd, and for that we got fucking.
Myke:Yeah, rochambo, forget, forget the 250 some on episodes without Todd. The one with Todd made us go from a five star to a four star. Woo man fuck Todd.
Ryan:Yeah, but real Wow. So Todd was raised by his grandmother as well, just like you were, and I can remember being when we were both in high school. At the time, you were probably I don't know you're probably fucking kidding.
Myke:I think I was like three or four years old, you're a little idiot. I'm the jungle jumps and shit. Yeah, we're in diapers and whatnot.
Ryan:Todd, when you cut this, just know this smells exactly like his grandmother's house. We walk in. It kind of has a vintage, old timey kind of sense of a house in a way. But with that gingerbread like fresh baked gingerbread, I'm shocked. It smells almost identical to his house.
Myke:I will give the listeners, if you want a fragrance related simile. It smells like Tom Ford's fucking fabulous. And then you like sprayed that on a piece of gingerbread.
Ryan:So you agree it has like that kind of a tinge or something around that gingerbread scent, for sure.
Myke:Yeah, there's something fabulous, You're good. Yeah, there's like a powdery ness which I could see kind of like that old school. Yeah.
Ryan:Yeah, man, that is. I don't know if it's for me as a wear, but that's pretty damn good, intriguing and wearable for sure. Definitely a scent memory, like if I was just like man. Todd left us and doesn't want to talk to us anymore. I can still think about the good old days with him. Right, man, that's a good one. Wow, let me read you Do we have a review on that one or no? No, ok, that was one, didn't have one. Ok, right, but there is also not a one on here either. I want to think what if it used to be called ginger moss? Hmm, I don't know, I don't want to speculate. I don't think this one's listed as well, and if it is, apologies to Pymeware, but yeah, that one is for me. It's not wearable, but it's definitely a scent memory.
Myke:I think it is wearable for someone who leans into heavily feminine fragrances, and they have to lean into very mature fragrances.
Ryan:I think you could wear that. It's like a clean older person's house. They just fucking got the mixer out and mixed the fucking thing of gingerbread mixture before you put it in the oven.
Myke:And then they sprayed fucking fabulous all over, all over their petticoat.
Ryan:God, every last one, except for white fur. Every last one of these cars are like stained. The fanghorn looks like a tree took a piss on it. It's like green piss Crazy. Do not spray that on your clothes, yeah for sure. All right, it's the last one. It's their top dick. It's the one that sells the most. Apparently, it's the most popular. It's the one I was really hony about. It's the whole reason I even bought this fucking thing, mike.
Myke:Well, and I have a fragrance review from Thranduil's eyes brows. Okay, thranduil's eyebrows. I don't know, I don't know where you're going with that, but here's why I got it.
Ryan:You ever notice that people just really do come up with the worst names to try to read. Oh, I know, I always try to keep mine short and simple.
Myke:Remember the username I wanted to do for Fortnite? Frosted mini yeets, yeah, oh, clearly way better than Thranduil's eyebrows. Well, let me tell you what they say. Nicely, spicy, sweet ash, try again. Three out of five to four out of five.
Ryan:Okay, that is the most random review.
Myke:Yeah, I got it because I was like this person sounds like an idiot. What should be like some huge fragrance reviewer. No, somebody's going to be like man. You don't know Thranduil's eyebrows They've been in the game so long, they've got their own fragrance house.
Ryan:God, if I had a nickel for every time you said something bad about somebody out there happened to be a fragrance reviewer. Right, exactly I'd have three or four nickels at this point.
Myke:Dude, you'd be jangling around like a janitor.
Ryan:Remember when Robes 08 randomly messaged us and it went nowhere, Like I thought we were going to be like having on the show. We're like, hey, you want to come on?
Myke:He was like not yet Freaking losers. Yeah, he's like dude, I'm not even making content. Then he started making content.
Ryan:Yeah.
Myke:He never got back to us. Hey Robes, yeah, pauler, at your boy, wtf mate.
Ryan:All right, I'm gonna spray this thing and hopefully it's delicious. God damn, that shit is fucking dark. A little let down right now, oh man. Okay, here we go. Ooh, it is, it's real.
Myke:AF. Yeah, that's like tree mixed with vinegar and something else like black olive juice.
Ryan:Oh, don't tell me that I fucking hate black olives.
Myke:dude you ever had to open up a huge can of them. Yes, I have. I worked at Subway Sandwich Artistry for.
Ryan:Yeah, I worked at Charles Z something I don't know.
Myke:Charles Entertainment.
Ryan:Yeah God, I remember having to open them. They wanted to transfer them to like a fucking plastic, like a cambro, yeah Something. I was like this is the. I was like the moment I saw like when I opened a can I smelled like piss pretty much.
Myke:I was like I'll never eat these again, like dusty, dirty piss yeah real dusty, dirty piss. So, speaking of markwood, I don't, god.
Ryan:I hate that this is the most popular one. How is white fur not the most popular one? I know, dude, that must be like some mix up People get slurpy on the weirdest stuff. This is, let me say this I feel like it's like fanghorn, okay, but like pulled back and not as super realistic. On the honing notes over there, are your messages done, coming through? I hope so, geez. Thought you brought a goddamn vibrator to this fucking show, dude.
Myke:I think it's listeners tell me how sexy and deep my voice is.
Ryan:God, it smells the most niche out of all these fragrance. It smells like a niche fragrance we've smelled before, like somebody wants to smell it. It's kind of like it's definitely mature, kind of got that pure one imports from some of these other fragrances I've smelled before, kind of like a wicker chair kind of thing going on. Okay, but like foresty.
Myke:There's like I don't know man. There's like some pickled okra type. You know what? The hell? You ain't never had pickled okra. Hell. No, hey, me and your brother were just talking about pickled okra. God, that sounds gross as shit. Dude, I grew up loving it.
Ryan:I love fried okra, pickled okra.
Myke:No, yeah, well, you don't really like pickles in general, hell, no, yep, I gotta say White Fur is the clear champion today. God, that one is so good. I gotta smell clemen pine now. That's the best one of the bunch right there. Just dig through there, see, if happenstance, we've got some clemen pine. Tell you what. I'll dig through half, you dig through half. Yeah, let's get through it quick, okay.
Ryan:Coffee to back. We got a second White Fur over here. Oh fuck, yeah, Stirbridge.
Myke:Borealis Carvenaris Christmas wine. God, why didn't we smell this one on this Christmas?
Ryan:Okay, we need to go ahead and do that one, I think. Let me tell you why because he said he's not into gimmicks, he doesn't care about exposure on his website. That's what it said. But he said this is the only one, that's a limited one. He only does this one during Christmas time. Wow, okay, fuck. Yeah, we gotta smell that one. Sorry, my bad, I should have knew that we should have done that one. Borklin, I don't know what that word is. Icefall and chandelier, what the fuck? I don't know. You think we just do the Christmas?
Myke:wine. Yeah, let's pine and wine it baby.
Ryan:Let me see about chance, if there is a thing on it. Okay, he definitely has a thing here, but let's also see if he was like a young guy, by the way, really young guy and he kind of looks like some actor I can't remember. Well, he's probably good looking then. Hey, sharp cap. Let's see here. Christmas wine is on, free, granted because so we can read a review. I'm pulling it up right now. Dude, that white fur is incredible. It's amazing. Man, this has got some big old plums in it.
Myke:Dude, here we go from AOU. Soggy Says. Gotta echo the other reviews here. This screams candle, All pinewood scents. I've tried settled down to something candily, but this one starts there and never lets up. Cranberry Christmas candle and a very cute dog as their avatar. You gonna stalk them now? I would. I love the pups.
Ryan:I'll let you go first on this one. Let you have a little funsy with it. Yeah, I hate wine. By the way, they're hit or miss or something I like. I forget how cultured you are, God. Every single one of these fragrances that's set for white fur are like stain masterpieces. They are rich in color.
Myke:Okay, I need to process what I'm thinking. You go ahead and just get a sniff on. That Smells better in the air for sure. Yeah, close, it's a little Punching. Oh yeah, stings the moustache. I get the candle vibe.
Ryan:I do, but I don't hate it. No Dude in the air.
Myke:It's actually pretty badass, it's really good, yeah, closer Waving the tester strip around it's actually really good. Yeah, it's sweet and spicy. I do get that fruitiness.
Ryan:I do get the cranberry candle wax kind of vibe. Yeah, damn, it's not as whiny yeah, thank God as I thought it was going to be. I'm kind of disappointed in that. I thought it was going to be all wind out. That's good for me. Let me read you what he's wrote, or written Yuletide Glog mule wine on Christmas night, an unfiltered melange Is that a word? M-e-l-a-n-g-e, yeah sure, melange of rich cranberry fur and spices. The same formula as the 2021 edition Parfum Extrait. These are all definitely Parfum Extrates.
Myke:Yeah, there's smell. It's got a little cherry-ness to it. Maybe I'm, maybe that's the plum or something, but it smells like warm and kind of like not smoky, but definitely the like the fireplace ambiance.
Ryan:Yeah, I will have to say it's experience wise. These are kind of out there. It's very all these. You know what these are. These are very unapologetic. Yeah, I love that. I do too. It doesn't mean we have to like all of them, but I can honestly say, minus the murkwood, I've really never smelled anything like these before, ever. I'm going on the skin with the white fur. God, even my skin just turned green. Yeah, you're looking like the Incredible Hulk.
Myke:Oh God that smells good.
Ryan:That is seriously a badass fragrance. It makes you want to smell that Clement Pine. Now I know Fuck.
Myke:There's got to be more in this collection like this. We're not going to go through them all here. We may sporadically drop something out on Patreon for you guys, but when we smell this first one, I was really hoping that he was just hitting home runs like that. Same, every single one of them. I knew it couldn't be.
Ryan:It was going to be too, good to be true. Yeah, not, it's not a knock, by the way. No, I think what he really wants to do with this is to kind of have these realistic smells, and I think there's some. There's something out there for some people and some not. Obviously Sure, but that one was specifically mentioned as being something that could be wore all year round the white fur and I absolutely agree. Yeah, it's incredible.
Myke:That is sick. Out of all these, this is definitely the wearable one.
Ryan:Crazy.
Myke:I could see where again somebody who wants, like a gingerbread, christmasy version or even cold weather version of fucking fabulous. This would be a great take, especially now that it's drying down. It's smelling really good.
Ryan:I know you used to love the fucking fabulous yeah, and I don't think I remember smelling it when you had it. You had sample of it or decant.
Myke:I have a 10 mil travel atomizer, so you still have some. Yeah, we need to do an episode on it for sure. It was one of my favorite fragrances for a long time. Hmm, that white fur God, it's really tempting to buy a bottle of that. It's just so unique. I can't imagine somebody smelling that and not being like. You smell so amazing and I just got to ask what is that?
Ryan:It's very unique. It is so manly. Yeah, I don't know why, but right now it's from something from Xergy. I don't know why. Hmm, a little Xergy right now, yeah.
Myke:Xergy boys.
Ryan:Which one did I get? What sample set did I get? I don't know. Maybe it was this fall collection.
Myke:Let me see, Uh nope, did you get like a Christmas collection?
Ryan:I don't try to see, man, which one did I fucking get Hold on? I don't mean to stop the show for this, but I'm really curious. I don't know. I don't even know where I where the ones I got. I don't see it on there anymore. We'll clear all that out. Okay, cut that out, todd. Okay. So I guess, out of the six, now that we've smelled the one winner of these six, absolute yeah. If we're going to say a sample to a buy, I think we'd both agree. The white fur is like you got to smell this guys. Yeah.
Myke:Hard sample. Like I said, I'm I'm so tempted to pull the trigger on that. Price is a little steep and I'm sure they're. You know it's an X-Trade and this stuff I mean it is viscous, this stuff is thick, so I don't have any question that probably the raw materials in that X-Trade cost enough to justify the cost. It's just that's a lot. That is a lot for 57 mil. I don't know why it has to be such a random number.
Myke:There's got to be something deeper to that there's 57 stars in the constellation. Yeah, 57 different types of pine tree. Hey man, I don't know, but for whatever reason, this one, yeah, knocked, knocked out, just blown away by how good that is, I'm tempted to say a buy, definitely a hard, hard sample.
Ryan:I'll agree Hard sample, because I'm blown away that it's so kind of outdoorsy pine orgy but it's like neither are over the top and it's like so well blended that I feel like it's it's kind of mass appealing, right? Yeah, for sure.
Myke:Better on the card. Way better on the card, although I would be scared to spray on. I'm wearing a white shirt right now. I would definitely.
Ryan:is that a throwaway shirt or no? I was gonna say you should test a little spot, Maybe the over your nipple or something.
Myke:I'll do it down at the base.
Ryan:By your crotch like you've been leaking. Yeah, yeah, green. Wow, the shit is thick.
Myke:That may turn into me buying another white shirt here pretty soon. This wasn't cheap.
Ryan:I thought it was a regular T-shirt, like a white it's for science, ryan.
Myke:Good God, all right, let's read a couple of emails. Did you want me to?
Ryan:read the more serious one first, or you want to.
Myke:Yeah, so we're going to read one serious about our previous episode about men's mental health, and then we're going to finish up with what you've been waiting for the secret email about Ryan's golden voice.
Ryan:Oh, my God, stop. So we did get somebody that left a message on the actual episode on like on the Spotify platform the tried truth. Hello, mike, and Ryan Love the show, also following on YouTube Lost both parents 10 days apart in 2023. Thanks for recognizing the pain that comes with the holidays. It is so true We've we beat it to death last episode, but it is a tough time. It's like such a supposed to be a fun, joyous time. But as you become adults in life and people pass on, it's not what it was when you're a kid the golden era of it, the memories you have tied to it, the fun, the intrigue. It's more of like the things you used to have in your life. Right, you know? So, man, I couldn't even you know, losing my mom four years ago. I still haven't recovered. I couldn't imagine losing both my parents 10 days apart. I'm so sorry to hear that. For real, that is just unbelievable.
Myke:I can't even imagine. I feel like this is our perspective on life in general, but especially around the holidays, when you're younger, it's all like the excitement of the future, like running down the stairs and seeing all the presents and open, but as you get older, you more reflect on the past. Yeah, and I feel like you do that with life too. When you're younger, you can't wait to be 16 and drive a car. You can't wait to be 18 and smoke cigarettes and get all that nicotine. You can't wait to be. I'm just kidding you. Like you know, you can't wait to be older and have all the freedoms and privileges that come with being older. And then, as you get older, you reminisce on the better times when you were younger and you didn't have bills and life stresses on you. So sorry to hear that and thank you so much for writing in.
Ryan:Yeah, obviously, 2023 has been tough for absolutely everybody. I know it's been tough for you, whoever you are that wrote that and just know, appreciate you writing this and feel free to write us an email, get in personal contact with us. I really hope the best for you during these times and know that you do have some people. You don't know us personally, yeah, but we genuinely do care and I'll be saying some thoughtful prayers for you, man. Yeah, likewise. Now on to you. Want to read?
Myke:another one. Yeah, dawn said this episode is why I've finally become a Patreon. I believe I could be the female version of Ryan Family caregiver, introvert, sexy voice, happily on the frag journey. Great episode, guys. Your podcast always brightens my day.
Ryan:Thank you so much, dawn. I appreciate that I do not like my voice, so thank you for giving me a comment. I appreciate that Makes me feel a little bit better about it.
Myke:You know he acts like he doesn't, but he's always like I'll catch him Sometimes I'll come in here and it'll just be him on the mic going hey, hey, hey, it's Ryan.
Ryan:Yeah.
Myke:I'm like Ryan, we got work to do.
Ryan:Should we read the Harley James one actually, yeah, yeah, Totally, Totally bro. Long time listener and friend of the podcast Harley James, who also runs Kojo Kojo Roastery which no bullshit. You guys got to get on some of that Kojo. That coffee is actually fucking incredible yeah it really is this.
Myke:Again, he hasn't sponsored an episode, Nope, he just was like hey, you guys appreciate fragrances and I'm sure you appreciate some coffee. Sent us some coffee one time and it was phenomenal, so good and low key. We're behind the scenes working on a way to hook you guys up with some cool coffee mugs and a bag of Kojo with each coffee mug. Yes, sir.
Ryan:And he wrote. Just listen to the men's mental health episode. I just wanted to reach out and say I want to be here for you guys in any way some random stranger can be, I'll keep you guys both in my thoughts and prayers through the holiday season. I'm blessed beyond words with a big family that's still all here, even though family cones packaged with its own unique issues. Right, you absolutely do not have to, but I'd love to hear more about Mike's life growing up. Oh, I guess so I can understand you more. Winky tongue hanging out face.
Myke:He's like, because otherwise you're confusing. You're an anomaly of a human being.
Ryan:He says why he was raised by his grandmother, et cetera. You guys are both emotionally intelligent and adapted, it seems to me, in a huge inspiration to myself Happy face.
Myke:Oh, thanks, man. Well, first of all, we've enjoyed getting to chat with you because we've actually got to be on a few video chats with Harley First of all, hardworking dude, he's got a lot of irons in the fire and it was a joy to chat with him. So I really do hope that we can work out the coffee mug thing. We're just we're trying to honestly figure out a way to keep the prices low and still have a high enough quality coffee mug to go along with probably some of the most badass coffee you'll ever drink. Yeah, I will answer just quickly what he said about my childhood and I can delve into it later episodes, but just briefly, why I was raised by my grandparents is that my, my mom really loved drugs and she got arrested and went to prison for a long time and my dad worked a lot and got into a bind and he decided to move to a far another state to find an easier life.
Ryan:I swear, I'm not an asshole, guys. It was just the set up and delivery of that. I really didn't think you're going to go like full on full heavy metal Just telling us that detail out there.
Myke:Oh I know it.
Ryan:Yeah, yeah, and he knows I'm not being an asshole to him it was just the delivery of it was impeccable.
Myke:Let me tell you I have a wild childhood. I really do, I does. I have a lot of memories that have been blocked out and erased, but the ones I do have are wild AF. Why is it that?
Ryan:everybody I know in my life that, for one reason, everybody that I know on a personal level has had some level of crazy trauma. And then, on top of that, all of you are all the same and like level and like know how to navigate life, but it's probably because you just it was like thrown to the fire early on.
Myke:Yeah, it affects people differently and this is such an interesting way to kind of fade out our Christmas episode. But for me, the reason why my first of all, my grandmother raised nearly all of her grandkids, but I was already spending a ton of time at my grandmother's house because my dad lived with my grandmother after the divorce and then, as he kind of looked for greener pastures, it just made more sense for me to stay with my grandmother. But I also have a biological sister who had the same childhood I had, but she went down a similar route as my mom, got really into drugs, was arrested multiple times, just wild. So it's weird to see because, yes, some people with this same type of childhood become extremely ambitious. They also become very independent because they felt like they had to be. I think that's part of me Like.
Myke:Also, my grandmother was so old school like really all like Christmas usually meant for me, like Christmas gifts was like she'd get me a bag that would have pecans, apples and oranges in it and that was like my gift. Other than that, I could get one article of clothing that I really needed. So maybe it was a pair of pants, maybe it was a pair of shoes Walmart shoes, by the way. Yeah, and if I was like, wanted a cool pair of shoes, I would have to go Moulins or some get money to go buy a hundred dollar pair shoes or even like a 50 dollar pair of converse. It's just because we were on, they lived off social security.
Myke:It did push me to be very ambitious early on. I started a lawnmowing business when I was really young because I needed it to, like I wanted to learn the guitar and I couldn't afford to buy one. So I tried to build my first guitar and it worked Not the most playable thing, but it worked. But that like got me to, like you know, get out there and kind of hustle and learn how to build a business and stuff like that. So I started that very early on.
Ryan:And it's definitely, it's definitely helped you in life. And, man, you and the other two people that I know, it's like all you are like the same. You think very far ahead because you want to make sure nothing bad happens, right? You're like keeping everything balanced all the time.
Myke:Yeah, I think it's because you grow up with so much uncertainty that stability means everything to me.
Ryan:Yeah, you know that's exactly what they say, yeah, so there you go.
Myke:That's a little bit. Hopefully that is not just that was all of it pretty, yeah, yeah I mean pretty, pretty much it. I could, if we want to like, go full psychiatrist mode. I can tell you some wild ass stories, but I mean that there may be some trigger warnings from some other people in there. But I'm a very happy human being now. Ryan, my closest family, he is my brother, my best friend, or is this going to go live on Christmas, christmas Eve.
Ryan:When is this going live?
Myke:Yeah, it is going live on Christmas Day.
Ryan:Nobody's going to listen to this shit on Christmas, but hey, if you do, you know, for one I mean huge thanks, because you should be with your family.
Myke:Right, Just turn us off and go listen to. But by now, if you've listened to all 250 some episodes you probably feel like family. Yeah, you probably feel like going.
Ryan:No, I'm kidding, no, we seriously we have appreciated you guys. We're coming up in April this year, three years doing this. This is the longest thing we've ever done like as a project ever together on anything. Yeah, and we've had some wild ones, guys. I mean I was telling him the other day I kind of want to do a crossover episode with something we used to do back in the day. I think it would make for something really cool here.
Myke:I think we should tell him what it is really quick.
Ryan:We used to. We started a YouTube channel. Yes, this is probably held now Years and years. Five years ago, maybe more than that, okay, five or six years ago maybe, but we did this thing called the couch dwellers. Right, this is before we figured out everything with the mic.
Myke:So it's not perfect. This is why we have a podcast today actually.
Ryan:Yeah, it actually kind of morphed from that, because we did that in another studio at the time.
Myke:Yes, Then we moved out of the studio, yeah, and we couldn't film video anymore, so we did two or three audio episodes that were very podcast-y, yeah, and then from there we were like this podcast sucks, let's do a podcast about fragrances.
Ryan:It's so funny that the thing we love the most in life is movies and the history of film and everything but man. Those two episodes although I do like them, they're not good as this, yeah, but, and we know nothing about this.
Myke:But also if you go back and listen to episode one of this podcast. That's pretty rough. It's still shitty.
Ryan:But the YouTube channel was a cool concept. It's like this podcast meets Mystery Science Theater.
Myke:Yes, yeah, and we would watch movie trailers and, you know, give our review of like. Are we going to go see it? Are we excited about it? Yeah, and we did it.
Ryan:We shot it on a two-person couch and we did the camera behind us and if we'd had, the whole wall was green screened, yeah, and we cut one little section out where we put an actual TV up there, yeah, and we would watch the TV and listen, you know, and kind of record us.
Myke:And it kind of morphed into something and we were serious about it for a minute.
Ryan:I still want to do some of those sometimes, man, yeah, I'd love to do actual movie reviews and talk about shit, right, you know, then you could show a little clips of the show, whatever. But I want to do a cross thing with it, somehow, fragrance-ally. I don't know what we could do, maybe make fun of some old commercials or something We'll see. But yeah, this has been such a long journey really longer than three years but we're coming up on three years. We've got a lot of stuff planned for this podcast. Yeah, we're never satisfied. I'm telling you we're never happy. Well, we're happy with the thing, but we're never like we've reached the peak of this thing. It's done. It feels like we're not even close.
Myke:Yeah, you guys didn't know this, but we're creeping up on season five and normally you know that because we just die and fall off the face of the earth for three months and then another season comes. But we already told you we're never doing that again. No, we're not. I've thought about it. But we've got some big ideas. Yeah, ryan, just like thought of not answering my phone call for a few months straight. We've got some big ideas for season five. We're really excited about it and we've got some ideas how to take this podcast and not just give you the same thing, but pour more love into it, more excitement behind it. The more Patreons we get, the more that opens up the possibility for us to build this into something bigger.
Ryan:Yeah, let me leave you guys with one last thing for a guy to hear. Seriously, try to enjoy this holiday season the best you can Remember your loved ones. Cherish the ones that are still here with your friends as well. Yeah, and try to put some good out there into the world. We all know there's a lot of shitty things in this life. Yeah, try to put some good out there. I don't care if it's just by showing love to a stranger, however that may be, or possibly I don't know finding somebody getting them something it could be a dollar. Try to do something nice. Let's put some good out to the world. We love you guys very much.
Myke:I'll tell you one thing really quickly. This may sound dumb, but around the holidays, whenever I first had my kids, I was working at a Dunkin Donuts. We were I mean, we were living off of that yeah, and sometimes people would come by and they would leave like $10 tip, $20 tip, you know, and we would split tips. Yeah. But times were so hard then that that little gesture I would literally burst into tears when somebody would get a gift, like a tip that big, because it meant the difference between, like buying you know, another pack of diapers or something like that. That's a big thing.
Myke:And so I try to practice that my own life. And I'm not saying this to be like oh I'm Mr Badass generosity guy, but I just know that tacking on an extra $5 to a tip won't hit me as hard but the person that receives that, that's a huge jump for them. So just a little stuff like that. I just remember in my own life around the Christmas holiday getting extra special tips like that. You guys, knowing you guys, you're all great and you probably do something like that too, but that's such a precious thing and if you're looking for ways just to be sweet and kind to strangers, that's one place to start, Absolutely as always, we love you guys.
Ryan:Have a good Christmas and until next time spray it up, y'all.