Get ready to have your senses and sensibilities equally tantalized as Myke and Ryan confront the audacious world of fragrances, starting with a perfume that's become the talk of the town: Gwyneth Paltrow's "This Smells Like My Vagina." It's an episode where the scent of controversy meets the aroma of enlightenment, and you'll be amused to hear us navigate through the delicate bouquet of topics ranging from sexual education to the surprisingly complex notes of Goop's notorious product. Even the skeptics might find themselves beguiled by the quality hidden behind the provocative marketing.
Shifting gears to a more cinematic vibe, we reminisce about a classic romance with Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow that seamlessly blends into our fragrance discussion – because who doesn't love a good scent with a side of nostalgia? The Goop fragrance under our microscope may just redefine your expectations with its sophisticated rose essence and dash of dauntlessness. Whether you're considering it as a daring gift option or a personal statement piece, we've got the inside scoop on its potential to turn heads and spark conversations, even in the most professional of settings.
In a bold move, we then pivot to a sensitive and thought-provoking discussion that's not for the faint of heart. We'll share a narrative that touches on the deeply controversial topic of mother-child incest, exploring the complex emotions and societal implications associated with such taboo relationships. With a respectful approach, we consider the broader research context and the importance of understanding all aspects of human experience. Join us for an episode that's equal parts educational, enjoyable, and unapologetically bold.
Get ready to have your senses and sensibilities equally tantalized as Myke and Ryan confront the audacious world of fragrances, starting with a perfume that's become the talk of the town: Gwyneth Paltrow's "This Smells Like My Vagina." It's an episode where the scent of controversy meets the aroma of enlightenment, and you'll be amused to hear us navigate through the delicate bouquet of topics ranging from sexual education to the surprisingly complex notes of Goop's notorious product. Even the skeptics might find themselves beguiled by the quality hidden behind the provocative marketing.
Shifting gears to a more cinematic vibe, we reminisce about a classic romance with Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow that seamlessly blends into our fragrance discussion – because who doesn't love a good scent with a side of nostalgia? The Goop fragrance under our microscope may just redefine your expectations with its sophisticated rose essence and dash of dauntlessness. Whether you're considering it as a daring gift option or a personal statement piece, we've got the inside scoop on its potential to turn heads and spark conversations, even in the most professional of settings.
In a bold move, we then pivot to a sensitive and thought-provoking discussion that's not for the faint of heart. We'll share a narrative that touches on the deeply controversial topic of mother-child incest, exploring the complex emotions and societal implications associated with such taboo relationships. With a respectful approach, we consider the broader research context and the importance of understanding all aspects of human experience. Join us for an episode that's equal parts educational, enjoyable, and unapologetically bold.
Hello everybody, we're back. Four weeks went by pretty quick, didn't it?
Myke:Yeah, you guys didn't miss us at all. Hell, no, welcome to the Cologne Podcast Season 5,. I'm Mike and I'm Ryan and we're two best friends. We're going on a fragrance journey, smelling fragrances and giving you uneducated opinions and what are?
Ryan:we starting the very first episode out with. We teased it a little bit on the back end when we were leaving season 4 behind.
Myke:Only the greatest smell in the universe. Ryan, what's that? Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina? All right, we're starting off really wild. And Jero, over on Fragrantica, said Could it be possible to smell one's own vagina? I've always had dreams to blow myself. I should give it a try. I mean try harder. Then I actually got a review, because that one you know that was wild. This one's from Lilian Brazil, who says Eye-catching advertising is the best way to hide talentlessness and show unscrupulous greed.
Ryan:Okay, I can feel that I can see where you're going with that, because I doubt this is actually you know what. Whatever this is supposed to smell like.
Myke:You don't think this smells like my vagina. Smells like Gwyneth Paltrow's vagina.
Ryan:I don't know, and the sad thing is I wouldn't be able to even tell you if it was factored fiction. You know, I don't know.
Myke:Yes well, we have a clip from Jimmy Kimmel where she brings up how special this project was to her, and I don't really know it's been so long since I've seen this clip. I'm just making shit up. Whenever you're ready, Todd, play that sweet clip.
Ryan:When my patience is gone. I'll do it again. Okay, Todd, skip past the ad.
Jimmy Kimmel:So there's a product that has received a great deal of attention.
Gwyneth Paltrow:Oh my God, in the news, here we go.
Jimmy Kimmel:I have to say I heard about this like 300 times in one week.
Gwyneth Paltrow:I'm really sorry.
Jimmy Kimmel:No, there's no reason to apologize.
Gwyneth Paltrow:It started as like a funny joke.
Jimmy Kimmel:Well, we're going to take a look at a new product from Goop. When we returned, gwyneth Paltrow was here.
Gwyneth Paltrow:It's our favorite subject who Vaginas the?
Jimmy Kimmel:vagina is the birth canal, only you want to talk about the vulva, which is the cleteris, and the inner lips and all that good around it. You getting that.
Gwyneth Paltrow:I'm taking notes the vagina is only the birth canal. Oh see, I'm getting an anatomy lesson. That I didn't. I thought the vagina was the whole.
Jimmy Kimmel:No, no no, no, wow, you learned something new all the time. There we go.
Myke:We're really doing it. We're picking up some anatomy here. Ladies and gentlemen, the show is called the Goop Lab.
Jimmy Kimmel:It is on Netflix and that lady is a 90 year old sex therapist. She's incredible.
Gwyneth Paltrow:She's 90 years old and she really believes in female sexual pleasure and she's made a whole career out of it.
Jimmy Kimmel:Isn't it interesting how little we actually know about our bodies, where you have this woman telling you what your vagina is and you're like oh, how about that? I didn't realize that's what it was, I don't know, and what is it again?
Gwyneth Paltrow:The vagina. Yeah, yeah, the vagina.
Ryan:Okay, jimmy, the birth canal. See what you did there.
Gwyneth Paltrow:It's just the canal and the vulva, like Betty says, is all the stuff on the outside, uh-huh. So which is more important?
Jimmy Kimmel:than really.
Gwyneth Paltrow:How long have you been married?
Ryan:Oh, oh oh, oh, oh, fair earn. Jimmy does a pleasure as wife.
Jimmy Kimmel:So this is the product that we were talking about. This is a real product. This is not a joke. Maybe it is, I don't know, but it's a real product for sure. It's a candle. Who came up with this?
Ryan:For the listeners. He's holding up a box that says this smells like my vagina.
Jimmy Kimmel:Wow, okay. What maniac came up with this? A French person.
Gwyneth Paltrow:Well so Douglas Little, who is the owner of Heretic Perfume. We're very close friends and we work together a lot. He does all of our fragrances for us and one day we were smelling different fragrances and I was joking around and I said I smelled something, and I said this smells like my vagina. But then I was like okay, so there you go.
Ryan:Okay, this is where it came out, so it's not smelling like her vagina.
Myke:It's just a good smell. She played a joke. Yeah, she said if I could smell my own birth canal, it would smell like this, because we already know the vagina is just the birth canal. Yes, so you got to get in there deep to really figure out what it smells like.
Ryan:Yes, I promise you we will treat this with respect and dignity.
Myke:Yeah, of course. Yeah, everything you've come to know and expect from the Cologne podcast over the course of four seasons.
Ryan:Before we get into today's scents, we need to go back in time to season four and reflect on interlude by homage.
Myke:Hit the music Todd Parsons yeah.
Ryan:One night stand review. Well, mike, after laying in bed for four weeks, after sleeping with interlude by homage, what do you have to say about it?
Myke:I just remember it being great and manly and shocked that you didn't buy a bottle of it. Yeah, I still haven't bought a bottle.
Ryan:Actually, I think it sold out when I went to our fragrance. Because it was sold out, I think Really it was one of them I don't know Great fragrance. I should have bought something by now. Just like always, I always talk a big game, want to buy something, but then I just go. I really don't want to part way with my money right now.
Myke:Call it commitment issues, call it being broke, call it whatever you want to do it.
Ryan:But I think if I was a millionaire I couldn't own every fragrance. I just couldn't do it.
Myke:You wouldn't smell it. Go, I'll get that too. I got endless financial.
Ryan:I don't know. You just have too much. At that point, are you really enjoying anything anymore?
Myke:So at that point is it really a buy if you wouldn't really buy it?
Ryan:I don't know, man, I still think it's a buy. I just haven't bought it, hmm.
Myke:OK, are you ever going to buy it? I would like to.
Myke:I don't know when or how or what I'd have to do to get it, but one day it'll be mine, oh yes it will be mine, ok, well, it's a maybe sometime in his life he'll buy it for Ryan, and to me I think it's a hard sample. You guys out there, especially if you're leaning into your, you know, middle stage of life, you're like Ryan, you're just, you know what do they call that Midlife crisis? I was going to call, I mean that, literally, middle aged. Ok, I feel like Ryan, you're middle aged and and beyond and you're, you know, looking for something manly, mature. Yeah, I think it's a strong sample, not a buy for me. I'm tempted by another homage fragrance, which one's that You'll have to find out. Ok, later this season on the Cologne podcast, have we?
Ryan:done an episode on it yet. No, oh, ok, I think I know which one it is.
Myke:Well, let's go ahead and get deep into today's fragrance by Gwyneth Paltrow, Goop and Heretic. This smells like my vagina.
Ryan:All right.
Myke:And we paid for this with our own money, because Gwyneth doesn't just give it out to everybody.
Ryan:Oh shit, OK, that got me, sir. Ok, You're a fucking idiot Dude. I swear you've been sitting on that for a fucking month.
Myke:No, I literally just thought of it. Ok, I don't know what this one is.
Ryan:Oh, we got a little sample of something else in here. Ok, so he's giving something out. I think she's giving way more out than you thought, dude.
Myke:What is this one called Voodoo Lily oh?
Ryan:interesting. But we're not smelling that today. We're smelling this one, that one.
Myke:Why don't you go ahead and get those juices all over you, Ryan? I sure will, Mike.
Ryan:Glad, I'm so glad you're dignifying all this. Ok, hey is a pretty good one. I actually like the bottle. Ok, was it twist oil? Yeah.
Ryan:I think it's going to be a roll on, right? Oh, it is a roll on. What do you think about roll ons? Roll on that vagina. Hey, I dropped my card. I'm too lazy to get it. Let's just show you this one. You serious, yeah, hold on. I mean, ok, did it mark it up any? What the fuck is there some? Oh, the ball stuck? Ok, maybe that did it. Definitely don't want your balls stuck in a vagina.
Ryan:Dang it. Hey, oh, hey, now, oh, now we can hit the. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, sorry, the ball was indeed stuck and this smells like my vagina.
Myke:This smells like my birth canal. There you go. I tell you what somebody's vagina smells like this Highly impressed.
Ryan:Yeah, because this smells fucking good. This smells really good. Guys, I'm not even kidding. I was not expecting it to smell like this Me either. Wow, why the fuck is it in a roll on, though?
Myke:I don't know, but if you look at it it is super oily. I mean, do you think this will last a while? I think so. It's an EDP, oh that parfons.
Ryan:It looks way oilier than that though, doesn't it?
Myke:Yeah, but it could just be mixed with oils instead of alcohol. Hmm, I didn't mean. That's all. Fragrance oil. Good point, super floral, it's gorgeous. The only problem is look, I think this is a beautiful fragrance and people could wear it. But then if people ask, you're kind of forced to say I'm wearing Gwyneth's vagina. You think yeah.
Ryan:I mean, what would you tell somebody? I'd be like that's my vagina.
Myke:You're smelling my vagina right now.
Ryan:I mean.
Myke:I'm being real If we were them. Yeah, we would say that Yo, yeah, I wouldn't give a fuck. Wow, that smells incredible. What is that? That's my vagina. You'd straight up say that straight face to somebody.
Ryan:Dude, I would use every opportunity to say it. You've used every single ounce of your breath to make jokes this entire time. You're damn right. Every now and then, somebody asked me what this was. Yeah, look, guys, I don't go to Goop. I don't even know Heretic was a thing until Goop. And because of this name, which I do agree is catchy marketing and I will say this We've been, I don't want to say privy, but we've been exposed to marketing skeins. Right, you know what I'm saying? I do, and we always go. Ah, that smells cheap, smells shitty, dingy. Yeah, this smells really good and smells of pretty decent quality. Yeah for sure. So for me, I'm shocked.
Myke:This is actually really good. Yeah, it kind of has like this rosy bite to it. Yeah, and just like this soft floral undertone.
Ryan:Very soft, floral. These pedals are soft, they're succulent. Yeah, you can put your lips on these pedals.
Myke:Or around them because yes, Mike, Go ahead. That could then make up the full anatomical vagina vulva combo. Oh, with the flower stuff.
Ryan:Yeah, okay, I'm going to be real. We don't have very many female listeners. Honest, probably have none, you know what. And honestly, hey guys, this is why Look, I'm just going to say it, this is why we're doing a two part episodes. Yeah, this one is more for the ladies and then the next one is for everybody. Yeah, but I'm going to tell you guys straight up, you guys have got some women in your life and you want to give them something a little different. Yeah, maybe they got a good sense of humor, but at the same time, you kind of got to have that, oh yeah. But if they have a good sense of humor and they want to smell good all the time, man, this one so far is baller. It actually kind of reminds me of God Mike's going to hang me for saying this. It reminds me of Roja Parfums Risque a little bit.
Ryan:So if you know, as if any of you all know what that smells like. It smells really good, and I feel like this is probably a fraction of the cost We'll get to that later and I mean the quality is good on this.
Myke:It is really nice. Yeah, I'm kind of shocked, and it is a very beautiful fragrance.
Ryan:I am so shocked. I would just think it was going to be some stupid ass marketing. Gwen was like ah, it smells like my vagina and like everybody's, like whoa, you know it makes a bunch of up for people buy it. She makes a million and she goes on with her life, not giving a fuck about who she just scammed out of.
Myke:Getting into the price here, I don't tell me how much I paid.
Ryan:I don't think it was 40 bucks. Yeah, I think so. But yeah, this is, this is really good. I'm shocked that this is so damn good. Yeah, it's incredible, and you know what?
Myke:I kind of like the roll on application. I'm not going to lie Really. Yeah, I'm going to do it some more. I don't know why your hand looks like it's sweating. You've got so much on there. Oh Jesus, you're bruising the fragrance.
Ryan:I just rubbed it on my other hand. You know like using this hand and it was lubed. It feels like fucking lubed. It's so goddamn thick. This is not your regular EDP guys. This is straight up some oils up in here. It's a badass fragrance guys. This is like sitting in a bed of flowers. This is what risque reminded me of. It smells like you're sitting in a bed of flowers out in a beautiful sun. We're going to talk about what it really smells like in a moment, but first hit them with the trend.
Ryan:Yes, because I've already told you the price 40 bucks for this 10 mil. Roll on. But the trend, let me tell you when this thing first came out in 2020 and old Doug Little put this little contraption together, this thing went it was pitching tense dude. It was pitching hard tense dude. God damn the whole land. When you looked out, all you saw were tense everywhere being built, tense everywhere being picked. But I'm going to tell you, since then, the trend look this cat. It's all out of his nine lives, it is dead as fuck, which is shocking. Now that I've smelled this.
Myke:I think it's probably because it was unavailable for so long too.
Ryan:Yeah, there's some issues. When we first looked, it was unavailable and then it came up and I just bought it. But I won't have to say this he bought it.
Myke:He got reimbursed.
Ryan:Wee, wee, wee. I just did the action of it. I didn't come out of my pocket.
Myke:Yeah, but as soon as you did, you're like okay, I bought it. Will you send that over? I'm about to press it. Okay, get ready, PayPal me.
Ryan:All right, good Lord, you've received $45 from the Colomban With a middle finger emoji.
Myke:That's probably true.
Ryan:I'm not going to say this, as good as this smells. I'm shocked at the trend, but I think what also was wrong with this is like, if you read in the comments out there, it got bomb, burgrated or whatever they want to call it. Like I guess people came in and just gave it a shit ton of negative reviews. Oh, really, yeah, and I'm guessing because it has a polarizing name.
Myke:You know I, just from all the stories and hearing about it, I thought it was a photorealistic fragrance of you know one, gwyneth Paltrow's female anatomy.
Ryan:Yeah. At a glance, when we first heard about it say I mean, obviously she's not marketing that, I guess now. But right, and after we got past our childish ways of this and took this very serious, we quickly realized that you know, it's an actual fragrance, but I'm going to and it's in conjoined with the brand called Heritage. Right, yeah, which? Have they released stuff outside of Goop? I think so.
Myke:Okay, but it kind of also, I think, really pissed people off because it felt like a money grab, yeah, and maybe it's because everybody wanted to smell her vagina, I don't know.
Ryan:I think you'd be also people. You know who they are, the people that are like she's selling vaginas out there.
Myke:No, I almost think it's more, because her brand was centered around like female wellness and like she was saying sexual pleasure and stuff like that.
Myke:Yeah. And then you make something that isn't like. She goes on to say like oh, it'd be punk rock to name this. This smells like bi vagina, but it would have been more punk rock to actually come out with a fragrance that smelled like a vagina. I don't know, I don't know you want that one. I mean, every episode we've done of the like one of these highly conceptual type fragrances is exciting to say the least. Yeah, and I can't think of anything more exciting to me personally than a vagina Ditto. So I mean, if I'm just being a 100% reels with you, Well, dude, I'm trying to like ride the line here.
Ryan:Why, I don't know.
Myke:I don't want to get canceled, hey, before. Nobody's going to cancel us for telling our own truths. We're not calling shots at anybody else, I'm just saying my own preference. You know what I'm about it. I'm with you on that, okay. Why is that wrong?
Ryan:I just, I'm a weird person. I like to be open that much. Be open about your sexual preferences. I mean, not really I don't care about that. I'm just saying like I don't want to be, like yeah, man, I'm slashing them down over here.
Myke:Look, I'm not saying I'm slashing them down. It's quite the opposite. There's no slashing grabbing going on over here. I'm just saying pretty cool.
Ryan:Okay, guys.
Myke:I mean, good, you're going to do this episode and handle it with baby gloves.
Ryan:I know I shouldn't, because the name is so fucking polarizing.
Myke:This is what they want people to do.
Ryan:They want people to talk about it like this which she did say in some interview, like she didn't care that it got all this like negative thing because she said it's eyes, I can use the eyes, I can do whatever I can with that. Basically, you know.
Myke:Right, yeah, because people are going to look into it or they're going to be dumb like us and actually draw money on it.
Ryan:Yeah, she just made probably who knows, probably took what do you think? 30% off of that. I don't know who knows Her and Doug Little fucking sampling it out. Yeah, she's getting a hefty chunk for sure. By the way, I do like, even though it's like just a little small roll on. Do you like the packaging? Very durable. Like the colors.
Myke:Cool. Yeah, the roll on is nice. I think value wise, it's a nice value. God, I think it's actually incredible value. Yeah, I agree, especially smelling it and know that it smells really good. My only problem with it is and maybe less people would buy it, but it's like we want to rewind it back and talk about like air tear into your slut. It's like that's a Ferrari fucking name for a Mazda Miata.
Ryan:Yeah, I mean for being real with it like and we didn't like the opening, but that dry down actually was good. It was slutty. Was that part of season four or three, I can't remember.
Myke:Look it up, guys, they all blur together at this point.
Ryan:Okay, I want to get into the who's wearing it Because I want to know who do you think is wearing such a beautiful, elegant, actually kind of a sexy fragrance.
Myke:I won't call this a dark floral because it's not as dark as like noir de noir. I'd more call this a golden hour floral. Oh yeah, now let you get into the weeds with who's wearing it. But I'll just say, because of that profile, a lot of people could wear it, but the name is going to keep certain audience members away from it.
Myke:It kind of sucks though, doesn't it? Yeah, because it's good, because, honestly, it is a softer and even more feminine version of something like noir de noir. You know, it's got that bite, that rosy bite, but it's still nice and floral and soft and beautiful.
Ryan:I know exactly who's wearing this. Okay, let's start off with this. Have any of you ever seen the movie Great Expectations with Gwyneth Paltrow and Ethan Hawk, robert De Niro? Have you seen that movie before, mike? Hmm, I don't think so. It's a fucking fantastic movie. I'm assuming it's based off of a fantastic book, okay, but you know me, I don't read. Yeah, stupid yeah.
Myke:Only idiots read.
Ryan:I get the actual hard work visuals that have been created to populate my eye sockets. Yeah, that's what helps me, you know, understand things. Okay, all to say this, I'll give you a little synopsis this movie and I'll tell you a little bit. But it's about a young boy who grows up. He's kind of artistic. I think his name is Finn, played by Ethan Hawke, okay, and he meets this girl God, I can't think of her name, but played by Gwyneth Paltrow, who's from like a rich family, okay, and he falls in love with her at a young age. And there's actually a scene where he's drinking water from a fountain and it's golden hour and then in slips this girl's mouth to catch his lips with the water and they start making out. This is how he falls in love with her. Of course, yeah, like you know, that totally happens for men all the time. We get hit on like that all the time. Yep, yeah, I'm, like you know, sucking down a whole water at a gas station. It happens.
Myke:Ryan's a guy that puts his lips on the water fountain, leaving no room for anybody else's lips to slide in.
Ryan:They grow up. And man, gwyneth Paltrow this is like, if you even like Gwyneth Paltrow which I don't really care for other movies but this is the creme de la creme best movie she's ever done. And man, there's just something about that movie. It fucking drives me crazy. That scene where Ethan Hawke he walks through the rain to find her hanging out with a bunch of I don't know fucking friends of hers and just takes her out of the fucking restaurant, takes her outside into the rain. The fucking beautiful score that for some God knows reasons why, is not on the actual original soundtrack. It's only in the movie and it's so good, it's uplifting, it's something, something kissing in the rain, something like that they make out. It's fucking great.
Myke:Have you liked me?
Ryan:No, it's not that Okay.
Myke:Getting caught in the rain.
Ryan:But when I smell this, this really does match her, that character, her profile a young, beautiful blonde. I would say. Well to do, not really necessarily bougie, but very artistic and in tune with being a little out there, okay, being a little risky, eccentric, very eccentric. And I feel like they're well dressed, this shit. They come walking by on a sunny day and honestly, kind of let me back this up. It really resonates with me that person standing in like a garden of flowers, beautiful golden hour, sun after a rain has just come down and watered all the petals. That's what you're smelling when you smell this.
Myke:And it's gorgeous. I think people are going to think it's more floral than it actually is. It's actually a stronger singular note of that type of rose you kind of get with noir day noir, but it's not as mature. I'm with you, yeah, so it's. It's got less of that burn, but it's got a little bite. But it's just this beautiful rose with some attitude, little bit of attitude. Oh yeah, it's good though.
Ryan:So damn good, and I'm shocked at the price for this. I'm also wishing they had like an actual spray, and they may, I just couldn't find it at the time. Yeah, but man, for all you fellas out there that want to get somebody something, this might be it. So let's do it. Are you going to skip it?
Myke:Sample it or buy it. What are you going to?
Ryan:do Ryan. Well, I slash we. The Cologne podcast has have already bought this. Yeah, Are we going to give this away to one of our patrons, by the way? Yeah, I think that'd be good. Okay, and one of y'all lucky patrons going to be getting this. Was it 10 ounce of Tim now, or something?
Myke:Yeah, but it's a roll on, so I think it's going to go a lot farther than you're probably expecting it to.
Ryan:I'm going to say this for you fellas out there wanting to try something different give it to your significant other or to any women that might possibly be listened to the show. I know we have a few. This is a hard sample. Yeah, easy, hard sample at that. Buying a $40 or so to a buy which, I guess, if this is all they got, it is a buy. This is a beautiful fragrance.
Myke:And it leans into another preference of mine, which is like ladies that aren't afraid to have a little bit of foul language. Yeah, you know, this type of personality is like pretty girls. That cuss, you know, you could have named it that.
Ryan:Oh yeah, and it would have been great. I'm seriously shocked right now at how good this smells and it does kind of suck. It's a double-edged sword. It's genius to have this name to get it out there, right. But at the same time I feel like there's so many people would be scared to. Even if it smelled good, they'd be scared to have it. And then somebody said they smell good and then they have to tell them. But if you just didn't give a shit man, pick this shit up. I think it's a buy, I think it'd be a fun.
Myke:Here's a great conversation. Somebody goes oh, you smell good, what is that? And you go look, it's a funny story. Okay, it's by a company called Goop, but they actually have this fragrance that says this smells like my vagina. And it's actually a beautiful fragrance, but a funny name. Yeah, good, icebreaker, Right? Yeah, I mean, if you can have that, you can't wear it to the office. I don't know, I think you can. It's really soft I think you're going to get into conversations you don't want to get into.
Ryan:Hey, that's on, hey, that's on your boss in HR.
Gwyneth Paltrow:Yeah.
Myke:I think that's where people are getting canceled over there.
Ryan:So what do you think? It's a buy or a skip, or a sample?
Myke:I think it's a buy as a really fun gift. It's a good smelling fragrance. I mean there is actually a fragrance by some of our farms called theorem that has almost like this plus a little suede sort of a smell to it and it's a little stronger because it's got this iris in there. It's got this stronger kind of rose in there. It's a beautiful fragrance. If you're looking to actually spend money on a fragrance that's loud as hell and has this vibe only, I'd say quite a bit better, there's that Okay. But I think for you want to have a laugh and actually them still enjoy the gift is not like a gag gift that somebody throws away but can actually use. This is pretty nice. I could consider it a buy.
Ryan:For me it's an easy buy and I'm actually trying to see what I know. If you get the rosier part of thumbs, the fucking risque like I was talking about, you're probably looking to spend I don't know 500 bucks or something like that. But I think, god, man, if you could get it discounted, maybe for 109 bucks for risk a which, ooh man, that would be a, that'd be a steal, cause that is it. It smells like this. It's a great fragrance. In fact, I can tell you 119 on our fragrances, wow, and it smells these. These smell very similar to me. Man, what a great. I know it's probably God. I just know. I remember we opened up with Michael Jordan last season. Yeah, people were like man week, michael Jordan, you're opening up with that shit. I can't even imagine what's going to happen when they get episode number one. Hey guys, we're smelling vaginas up in here.
Myke:They're going to be fucking pissed. I got to say I'm a little irritated that it's not more leaning into just being wild, cause I think that's what everybody expected from the brand. I'm a little bummed that they just didn't go balls out with vaginas.
Ryan:I can already see it now If it would have went that way, you would have been talking negative about this, I think.
Myke:I mean. But that's the thing is. This is a get, smells good, but we're even talking about it to begin with because of the wild ass name. Oh, 100%.
Ryan:That's what it is A double-edged sword. Ok, well, that is episode one of season five. If you want more of us outside of your Spotify and Apple podcasts, we do. Once a week we do release a new episode for our patrons that are patrons exclusive. We let them choose and pick shit.
Myke:Yeah, they get also not just Cologne podcasts, but we've been sprinkling in some unreleased podcast ideas that you and I have recorded. Pilot episodes for that have never reached the airwaves and it's been met with some positive review.
Ryan:Here's an idea, mike. Let's just do this too For all you new listeners coming in on season five. We're actually going to play you a little bit of that episode at the end of this episode. Give you a little tease of what that one is. And that show that we have started is called Weird Stories from the Web, and this episode is called Mom Lends a Hand.
Myke:And we recorded this over a year ago as a one off thing, that we produced it and basically threw it in the garbage. Yeah, and we resurrected it for the patrons and they may see more installations.
Ryan:Oh, they absolutely are. So, yeah, you'll get new episodes of there and we're giving free shit out over there. If you're on our six dollar tier, you have a chance to get a free bottle of something, yeah, or samples or all different kinds of stuff, and we're doing lives.
Myke:It's a lot of fun over there on Patreon. Check it out. Patreoncom slash Column Podcast.
Ryan:And until next time, spray it up y'all. Nine years ago, a legend began, oh God, on the internet website redditcom.
Myke:Yeah, Ryan's really plugged in on Reddit. I occasionally pop in and out, but this guy knows the ins and outs. He knows the back streets of Reddit.
Ryan:This is the most talked about AMA of all time. Here it stands for Ask Me Anything. Okay, the username has since been deleted, but the information is still there, almost like a dragnet thing.
Myke:Yeah, you sound like most wanted, or something.
Ryan:Title I am a man who had a sexual relationship with his mother. Oh, I've read this story. Probably not suitable for work.
Myke:Yeah, and that could be a name for the podcast. Keep that in mind, ryan. Possibly not suitable for work.
Ryan:That's actually pretty cool Okay.
Myke:I've read this this is where he gets injured, right, yes, okay, yep, here we go.
Ryan:Here we go, baby. The questions in this thing are hilarious, but I'm going to read his short little summary before people start asking questions. Yep, let's dig down deep. When I was in my teens, I had a sexual relationship with my mother. I think that we would both characterize the experience as positive. Okay, yeah, okay, please feel free to ask anything, but I will not discuss anything that would reveal my identity. Recently, my mom and I spoke with a researcher that is studying examples of incest that were not traumatic. He is preparing a paper on the subject. I am not an advocate for incest, for whatever reason. It worked for us. Don't use my experience as a template. I am here to relate my experience, not debate incest as a subject. Here are a few frequently asked questions that people will probably ask. It started when I was 14. My mom was 37. I have an older sister that was unaware and not involved. My dad knew about it from the beginning and supported my mom's decision. It ended around college.
Myke:Good Lord, from 14 to college. So we've got a solid at least half a decade yeah.
Ryan:Just straight banging it out with his mom.
Myke:I don't think it starts off as straight banging it out, though. No, it gets there though. Yeah, I'm like nauseous and Ron and I just got back from Denny's where we both had a lumberjack slam Probably not the best time to read it. Dude, I'm about to be tasting the hash browns all over again. Oh Lord, all right, so hit me with those juicy deeds, ryan.