The Cologne Podcast

#287 - Delphinus: Another New Release By Creed

• Myke & Ryan • Season 5 • Episode 286

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What if we told you that a fragrance could cause a rift as deep as an emotional heartbreak? Brace yourselves for a belly full of laughs and the occasional wince as we catch up on caffeine cravings and a back injury that left us in more pain than a bad breakup. We then turn our attention to Creed’s latest release, "Delphinus," sharing our candid first impressions of its amber-colored bottle and unique scent profile. The highlight? Our vibrant Patreon community buzzing with excitement over their buy, sell, and trade activities for their impressive fragrance collections.

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Myke:

Hello, please leave your message after the tone.

Snazzy Seth:

Shit. It's snazzy. Why don't you answer your phone anymore? Come on, guys. Also, what is up with Mike man? The guy needs to lay off the caffeine. Switch to decaf April. He's over here. What are the clone podcasts? This is Ryan and Mike all the two friends on a cricket party, and then Ryan's all like Is this Centardus we're talking about today? Shit, you guys ever seen the Wire? Remember Clay Davis? Shit In the ridiculous ways like it holds out, the one that's like shit. That's what I think about sometimes when I'm trying to get a hold of you guys.

Myke:

How you shit all over me welcome to the colon podcast everybody, I'm mike and I'm ryan, and I'm gonna take it nice and slow for snazzy. Today we're two best friends. We're going on a fragrance journey, smelling fragrances and giving you uneducated opinions yes, one of us is recovering from a catastrophic back injury.

Myke:

Oh shit, oh my god. And the other ones I'm doing great guys. Let me tell you how old I am. I wasn't doing anything crazy. It's not like I was lifting kettlebells and shit doing you know dead lifts. I literally was just walking across the house and something popped and I hit the floor and started crying and that's been my life, just back pain he has been walking around like a 90 year old man dude.

Ryan:

It's crazy, I felt. I've literally legitimately felt bad for you these past couple of days it's the most excruciating pain I've ever felt.

Myke:

I was telling you I broke bones. You know I've had heartaches, I've had girls leave me. Nothing hurts as worse as some lower back pain. You should write a country song about it. Yeah, yeah, somebody get post malone on the phone well, we got a great show for you.

Ryan:

Today, guys, we're gonna be smelling yet another new creed fragrance, yeah, with a weird past, like kind of like a orangey coastal color bottle with a gold cap, kind of hideous looking yeah I've smelled this before, so I can say this the bottle doesn't match the fragrance really.

Myke:

Yeah, okay, it's wild man. I don't know why they picked those. Well, I think I do, because these are their amber fragrances. So they picked like amber colored bottles and like the, you know that cherry red, and now this one is like that ambery sort of orangey gold.

Ryan:

Yeah, and the we're talking about, by the way, it's, uh, delfinus, delfinus. I had to look it up and figure out how to pronounce this thing, because we kept going delfinus, yeah, delfinus. Apparently it's the del finas, yeah, named after you had another constellation or something, probably. So I don't know it. Just it better do well, you know what. Before we get into it, you need to give us a little little comment.

Myke:

Section from oh yeah, for grantica, right? No, yeah, we're gonna go right on over to swashbuckler nine times. Who says dusty fruits? Something offensively powdery, akin to melted plastic, lean, slightly feminine but pleasant, albeit nondescript.

Ryan:

Okay, sounds terrible, just like the last Creed.

Myke:

Fragrance you know I really did like this one, so I'm really curious to see what you think about it.

Ryan:

Before we do, we got to get into a one night stand review. But before we even do that, I got to tell you guys, if you're not a Patreon, become a Patreon. It's just silly at this point. If you're not, we have a nice group of people in there. We've got a community chat. We just opened up a buy sell trade community part. You know, I feel I started thinking about this because we had a Michael J and Jonathan Bleep. They were both like hey, can we do this kind of thing? And I was like I was kind of against it and Mike was for it. And then I don't know, I just had that random Ryan epiphany where it's like you know what? I think it's my idea now. So I'm going to say this is a really good idea, so now you love it yeah.

Ryan:

But I started thinking about it because you know, and I think they're going to keep it on the level and in the event that somebody is kind of shysty, it's like you paid for access to get into the group. Yeah, You're out of there.

Myke:

That's right. No douchebaggery in there, yeah so it's a good community.

Ryan:

I'm really stoked for it. I was telling Mike it's its own organism and it's really unique because it doesn't require. They don't even give a shit about us in there, they're just all entertaining themselves. Like what the fuck is happening right now.

Myke:

We're kind of like mom and dad at this point. They're like can you leave so we can play with our friends?

Ryan:

Yeah, pretty much, but also access to a bunch of bonus episodes and giveaways.

Myke:

So there you go. Yeah, a lot of cool stuff, but now we just opened up to where you can buy, sell and trade your fragrances.

Ryan:

let me tell you, some of the guys in here have pretty amazing collections look some forgive me because I don't have it in front of me, but one of them showed a haul they just got recently and I mean I have literally gotten. So honey, talking about czar, yeah, and they're like. Yeah, I got four bottles of Czar and the guy threw in an extra one, like all the other ones are sealed. I'm like what the fuck man? Wow, that's amazing. There's some people with some insane collections. I'm just like blown away. There's my spiel. If you don't like it, I guess, tell me to fuck off.

Myke:

And now let's get into our one review. Hit the music, todd. Yeah, one night stand review. Well, ryan, after spending the night in a constellation of dark ambers and woody smokiness, what do you think about centaurus garb?

Ryan:

that's terrible. I just for a. I just can't. It made me sick. I started getting a bad headache. Afterwards. I don't know what was going on with it. I just did not like the vibe of that fragrance.

Myke:

I'm so shocked Really in the story. It did smell a little different, but I really thought that was going to be your jam.

Ryan:

You're not the only one that was shocked. We had a friend of the podcast, daveski1, left a spotify comment, said can't believe he hates centaurus. I think it smells like spice bomb to me. And then he did the whole emoji like I don't know, the hands up in the air and yeah, I just. I don't get spice bomb by the way at all. I just was not vibing that fragrance. I never will. I hate the name, everything about it. I can't stand. Fuck that one. It's a skip.

Myke:

Yeah, for me it's a sample for the listeners. I mean, it's not me personally, but I don't think it's bad and I'm still kind of shocked. You don't like it that much, so I just defer to your better judgment. Ladies and gentlemen, of the podcast, just go check it out, you out. Creed is opening up boutiques everywhere. Dallas just got a new Creed boutique. Really, yeah, is it nice. I didn't go in because I prefer Neiman's. Oh, okay, because they have a Creed counter there too. But I'm sure you can go find it places. Don't spend your money. Worst case scenario you can go to the Creed's website and you can order, like you know, carded samples. It's expensive and dumb that they charge that much, but you can get it. Please don't blind buy any Creed ever. The end.

Ryan:

That just summed up so much for us, and, as you know, it's funny, we like some stuff from there. Absolutely Okay, there you go. Now I'm ready to smell this new one, delphine ass.

Myke:

Let's do it. Okay, here you go.

Ryan:

Okay, I'm a fresh baby today. No sense on me.

Myke:

The only thing I'm smelling like is Ben Gay right now. What the?

Ryan:

fuck is this shit, baby, do you?

Myke:

like it. Yeah, I like it. Okay. You don't like this. Smells like a cherry leather Okay.

Ryan:

On the skin, yes, and I'm sharp because in the air and on this tester strip I was immediately ready to just write this off, but the skin smells pretty badass.

Myke:

Yeah for sure okay, god, yes, yes I mean out the gate.

Ryan:

It's definitely more pleasing than Centaurus, yeah, but I don't know. I'm going to ignore the card or the Tesla strip, whatever.

Myke:

Tesla strip.

Ryan:

Shut up. I do like the skin a lot. That is shocking.

Myke:

Yeah, it's nice. It seriously just smells like cherry leather to me On the skin. I'm 100% getting that and it's nice, it seriously just smells like cherry leather to me on the skin.

Ryan:

I'm 100 getting that and it's crazy. And then it smells completely different on this man. I don't know what to think of that shit. On the tester strip it's uh, it's all right there. It's labeled unisex, but do you feel like this is unisex? Do you feel like it's more feminine? I think it's unisex. I'd wear the hell out of it.

Myke:

Really, I feel like this is definitely crazy feminine in fact, when ryan was given his spiel over there, I actually had to go and get the other carded sample because I kind of already juiced the first one down. It's like I grabbed the wrong one.

Ryan:

It had like two sprays left in it it's not bad, but I am kind of like I don't know yet. Oh okay, hmm, but you're.

Myke:

You're definitely honytown, I like it. Let's pretend like it's not for you, but just as a fragrance. Do you think it's a good fragrance or do you you still kind of?

Ryan:

yeah, I guess I can say that because, as you're talking, I was starting to get more of the amber kind of thing going on and like, yeah, it's definitely a pleasing scent for sure yeah, yeah, it does have.

Myke:

If we're sniffing out notes here, it does have that amberwood type vibe, yeah.

Ryan:

Dude Centaurus can't even hold this thing's fucking jockstrap.

Myke:

This definitely is better. It's football season now, so you're losing your shit. We're in a group chat and I never get to be included, because you guys are just talking about football the whole fucking time.

Ryan:

Well, because we're freaking, depressed dude, freaking. Watch our Cowboys spank the shitty Browns. And then we had our pants pulled down and paddled in front of everybody by the Saints. Gotta hear who that, who that, and the fucking stands, the Jerry World. Oh my God dude, that's tough.

Myke:

Getting your ass whooped at home, that's a tough one, so fucking tough. You know what? On this card there's even a little more leather to it.

Ryan:

It's getting better.

Myke:

I like it a lot.

Ryan:

It is getting better, you know. Let me just go ahead and break it down to you here. I'm going to go to Freegranticus Perfume Pyramid. This is their.

Snazzy Seth:

You know what.

Myke:

At least we're giving them credit, though. Yeah, as much as yeah, as much as we've ridiculed people for doing the same fucking thing, hey look we will never be the experts.

Ryan:

I just I just don't believe in it, man. Yeah, I just I smell this and I couldn't tell you one fucking thing I'm smelling it's kind of ambery sweet.

Myke:

I've been watching speaking of experts. I've been watching the shorts where they got johnny depp with francis kirk john together and oh god, he's like smelling stuff. How'd that go? Pretty interesting really. Yeah, johnny looks like he really gives a shit he does, but he's a very talented actor. Yeah, okay, he's like, just sign my checks and let me get the hell out of here speaking of talented actors before I get into the perfume pyramid.

Ryan:

I had a really odd interaction the other day oh you're talking about at the grocery store. Yeah, I called mike immediately hit him with it. Uh, there's a older young lady in front of me, she's checking out, and there's a new young lady that's, uh, the cashier at this grocery store that we shop at and they're having a good old time. They're just chit-chatting back and forth. You know, I'm, I'm too old, shoddy and all this other stuff, and she's, you know, give me my discount, you know, whatever. So, and they were super sweet. I did the whole like because I'm introvert, I I was smiling but not looking at them. You're like, hey, kind of like that.

Snazzy Seth:

Yeah, like you're having a good time.

Myke:

The old white man laughing smile.

Ryan:

So I get up there and of course the young lady asked me for whatever our number or whatever. Yeah, and that's all I give them.

Snazzy Seth:

I'm like know, hey, how's it going, you know whatever.

Ryan:

I'm like really chill, yeah, and then six, one, seven, I don't know where they just go. You ever thought about reading? I told you this you're like michael's uh. I told you this You're like Mike was like uh dirt. Mike was like what did you say? He said because I look like a fucking idiot.

Myke:

Have you ever thought about increasing your knowledge? You freaking moron? Yeah, have you ever?

Ryan:

opened a fucking book. So before I'm like I'm like kind of dumbfounded, I'm like, uh, yeah, I guess I should, and before I could finish, like you know, like audio books, Got a really good voice, oh yeah, I was like, oh God, I don't even like my voice. Oh, who Me? And then I was like, hey, I actually do have a podcast and I have heard that before. And she was like, oh, that's cool. And she just like, get the fuck out of here.

Myke:

I was just making small talk, you idiot. Yeah, you fucking creep, get out of here, don't talk back to me.

Ryan:

So the Perfume Pyramid at Fragrantica. This thing has three juicy notes that we all know. We can pick out Three juicy notes, iris, I do kind of actually get that?

Myke:

Yeah, for sure, that's kind of the leatheriness to it, I'm assuming.

Ryan:

Incense? Not so much to me. No, vanilla, I don't know if I smell vanilla either. You're not slurping a little bit of that vanilla? I guess amber may qualify for that, but I do get amber cherry leathery kind of thing. Yeah, smells pretty damn good. Not going to lie, it wasn't like an out the atomizer.

Myke:

This thing is not for me again, this may be who's wearing it, so I won't go into too much detail, but I feel like I know a few ladies that are wearing that ombre leather. I feel like this is that more subtle feminine leather. It's got that cherry aspect to it will be great on a woman yeah, sexy dude, absolutely.

Ryan:

That's why I'm screaming. This is definitely more feminine to me. Not a bad thing to say that, it just seems more feminine, and it would smell really delicious on a lady yeah, you know, maybe more of the floral elements is uh like vanilla type vibe, I don't know.

Myke:

It does have feminine qualities, but I wouldn't be afraid to wear it as a man.

Ryan:

Excuse me, I got breaking news 50 ml $400. Fudge 100 ml $545.

Myke:

Way too much money, really Way too much.

Ryan:

But it smells so good. Smell it, Ryan.

Myke:

Look how good it smells. Is that what I'm selling, ryan? It does smell great. I don't think it smells $500 great.

Ryan:

Is it 3.71 out of 5 rating great.

Myke:

Yes, I think so Under 4,. Yeah, okay.

Ryan:

Yeah, shout out Fragrantica. They gave us all that information.

Myke:

I thought you just calculated that in your mind because you're a fragrance genius. It does smell good, man, but that price tag look, sometimes even the the raja doves out there that hit that kind of price point. I'm like nope.

Ryan:

Yeah, I'm the same way. I feel like at that price point it's got to be unique, it's got to be loud, it's got to be long lasting. Yeah, it's got to be something you know can't get outperformed by a designer.

Myke:

Man, I can't push myself to spend over $300 for a fragrance ever. Yeah, $250-ish $275, that is the cap.

Ryan:

It's got to be the cap. You think $275 is the cap on fragrances? I think so. Yeah, I can kind of get behind that because I can't think of one fragrance. Well, I'll take that back. I did get Creation E I did buy that full retail. Oh yeah, that's the only one. That's the only one. We got full retail.

Myke:

Yeah, which we just learned that they won the settlement or whatever. Now he can use Enigma in the States. It used to be Enigma over in the UK and creation E in America. I wonder why it was like that, I don't know. Hmm, maybe it was Richard E Enigma was.

Ryan:

Richard E Enigma. Oh God, the Riddler. You know, before we even get, you know, actually, let's fucking get into this real quick. Who would wear this? I think we all kind of know. We've kind of hinted at this a little bit. Yeah, I feel like this is 35 and up. No, really, I think 25 and up. Nah, for the ladies, I don't know. No, no, no, Not for me.

Myke:

Boy, you are sadly mistaken, Ryan. Okay, go ahead Shoot him with the truth, then yeah, I think it's 25 and up, beautiful lady out there, you know, maybe you're calling shots, maybe you're a big wig, you know.

Ryan:

So you got lots of money because you're gonna need it because this shit is expensive. You're a lawyer, okay, yeah, you happy, we told you what you are you're a sexy brunette lawyer yeah, I can't hate on that, bob, okay, yeah I'm with you.

Myke:

You wear like those suit vest things a lot me, no, her. I would never want to see you in a waistcoat. Ryan. Those suit vest things a lot Me, no, her. I would never want to see you in a waistcoat, ryan.

Ryan:

Oh shit, I'm going to get off subject for just a minute here.

Myke:

Please do, because we've been right on subject this whole time. Might as well take a little side quest.

Ryan:

I'm definitely taking this side quest. It's a hill that I'm about to die on. Okay, one day when this fucking podcast is massive, okay, and I'm telling you guys right now, I'm gonna start bringing this up every once in a while. I want you guys to do your part to bring it up to who I'm about to be talking about, and it is completely not fragrance related, because I got a fucking bone to pick oh okay, wow, hold on, you look really pissed I just really been.

Ryan:

I've actually been steaming on this for a while, okay, okay, I'm dying to know I'm we're really not playing this up.

Myke:

I'm actually no, I, I can tell. Yeah, I was like whoa, wait a second, this is real orville reddenbacher. Okay, you fucking badass, no wonder, no wonder you're so you know what I'm gonna be saying, don't you?

Ryan:

you know what I'm bringing up, don't you know exactly? Go ahead, orville reddenbacher, the company. I gotta say this I'm tired of looking up copycat recipes. I've been trying to make my own. Yeah, they're like, never quite there. It's not always the same. It's the caramel popcorn, the melt over caramel popcorn. Yeah, they let you pop the bag and then you had a little silver spaceship NASA package inside. You cut that in little squares After you drained the popcorn and picked out all the seeds and you placed them all strategically on top. You put it in the microwave and you set it for another 45 seconds or so. You watch it bubble up and start dripping all over the freaking popcorn. While that's going on, you pour you a glass of fucking cold milk, ice, cold, whole milk, full fat. And he knows, because he did the same thing. We didn't even know each other and we did the same thing.

Myke:

It's true, you know what, but you did teach me the culling method to get all the seeds out.

Ryan:

Had a method, guys, Because you know when the popcorn bag pops it has a little bitty opening before you spread it all up. You turn your bag over, you shake it and all the seeds come just shitting out the bottom right. Then you dump all the kernels out yeah, I shouldn't say seeds, but kernels. You dump them out and then you got popcorn that's not going to crack your fucking molars, yeah, and it was the most delicious hot, just fresh caramel popcorn with milk. And they just were like one day, you know what, fuck you. And you know what, orville redenbacher, fuck you. I've seen them. They've got dill pickle flavors. They got fucking 20 different buttery things. They got all these different. They got pop the ones that pop up caramel that are not the same. I've seen like hot Cheeto versions. I think it's like.

Myke:

Yeah, dude. Well, just the butter variety alone. It's like good Lord, how many different butter. It's like they've got light butter, extra butter, movie theater butter, ultimate butter, amish butter yeah, dude.

Ryan:

Get the fuck over yourselves. Whoever's running the fucking company, pull up the old fucking ingredients. Start fucking mass producing them. People are going to want it to be back, just like the fucking Szechuan sauce yeah everybody wants it.

Ryan:

So fucking bring it back. What the fuck? I just started thinking about it because I was wanting to have caramel popcorn. I don't like caramel popcorn. That's just. It's been made, it's been sitting out, it's dried I like fresh. Where it's gooey, it's hot, I like that. And that's a hill I'm willing to die on. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm telling you he's serious about this shit. I'm serious, man, fuck them. Man, like, just make it. Huh, huh, okay, you're going to skip it. Sample it.

Ryan:

Or buy it. What are you going to do, ryan? Well, mike, I will definitely say this is a sample, and I think there will be a few men that can pull this off, but I do feel like, predominantly, this is a sample for the ladies.

Myke:

Yeah, it's a sweeter fragrance. If you're going to wear it as a guy, I don't think it's super mature. It's also crazy expensive, so you basically have to be some sort of 18-year-old influencer to buy it. Absolutely, I could see if you're going to be out in the sun hanging out or it's just a light time you're going out for fucking mocktails with your pals and shit like that. That you could get away with this. But majority, yes, when I smell it it is more stereotypical, female leaning, or feminine at least. But I could. Yeah, I enjoy it, I'd want to wear it, but it's not an everyday sort of occasion. It really just has to be more of a lighthearted fragrance for the guys.

Ryan:

It really is a pretty scent, though, and definitely smells better than the last creed yeah it's, it smells great, but it is in nowhere worth that price tag.

Myke:

No, way, no, so it's a sample to a skip right then it's skipped for the price, but eventually it's going to sneak out there on those discounters and you can probably get it for $250 or something like that. You think it's worth it at $250? To the right person. Yeah to the right person, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you're checking your account daily to see how much money you have in there, this is not a fragrance for you, mike.

Ryan:

This Mike, the one sitting next to me, not any of you other mics that are listening. Yeah, uh, okay, guys, you know what I feel like. That was a fun roller coaster of a ride, of an episode.

Myke:

Yeah, there's probably a good five minutes of fragrance talking there I don't know, man, there's only so much.

Ryan:

I can keep talking about Creed. We talked about him last week. I promise you the next one will not be Creed, yeah, for sure.

Myke:

But these new releases we've had. So many people beg us and I think you've noticed we've been good about getting these new releases out. Now we're trying, guys, we're actually giving effort, Shocker.

Ryan:

Okay, we love you guys and until next time, Spray it up y'all.