The Cologne Podcast
EVERY MONDAY: Join best friends Myke and Ryan as they take on the world of fragrances with unfiltered humor and uneducated opinions. Each episode, they'll sniff out a new scent and give their honest, foul-mouthed review. From high-end colognes to drugstore bargains, no fragrance is off-limits. Brace yourself for an irreverent, no-holds-barred approach to fragrance reviews.
The Cologne Podcast
#299 - What did we wear for Thanksgiving?
As the holidays approach, the warmth of Thanksgiving brings into sharp focus the importance of our human connections, especially in times of loss. We share personal stories of navigating the holiday season without loved ones and reflect on the bittersweet nature of these experiences. From aiding a friend during Christmas photo shoots to observing the often unseen struggles behind gleaming family portraits, we uncover the layers of holiday celebrations that are rarely discussed. There's a sprinkle of humor too, with an amusing tale about the chaos kids can unleash, particularly when buttermilk is involved, providing a light-hearted perspective amidst deeper reflections.
hello everybody, welcome to the cologne podcast I'm mike, I'm ryan.
Myke:We're two best friends. We're not smelling fragrances. We're actually just talking about thanksgiving and loving up on you listeners yeah, we just, uh, want to come on here.
Ryan:We're gonna be brief with it. We're gonna probably this would be. Will this be monday's episode? Yeah, okay, so this is if you're hearing this. Thanksgiving is about to happen. We're going to take time. Thanksgiving's already happened. Oh yeah, thanksgiving's already happened, and the reason why we're recording this is because we want to be able to have time with our families and stuff. Absolutely. So it's really also encouraging you guys to hopefully you had a great Thanksgiving. Hope it was safe and fun and very edible, hopefully your family isn't all dead like me.
Ryan:Yeah, it's. It's gonna be a tough one this, this thanksgiving.
Myke:I had a friend text me the other day and they were like hey, do you have big plans for thanksgiving? I'm like I always go to the graveyard. I know that sounds miserable, but uh, yeah, it's gotten easier and, yeah, almost a good thing. I actually might go try to visit forbis's gravesite always visit my grandmother's. Yeah, it's a weird sobering time. In a way makes you thankful for what you've had in the past and then what you currently have.
Ryan:So yeah, and it'll be a first this year without my father. I mean, yeah, collectively without my father and mother, but it'll be my first, first year without him, and so it's been a tough one. I cannot lie. I just cannot lie at how tough life seems to really be. Uh, wanting to pull particularly my pants down and drumline my freaking sack, because it's been, yeah, I mean everything from just just everything. I just, yeah, I get in my head, guys, I'm an aquarius, I'm very analytical of the world human beings and I hate how stupid we are. Yeah, and I just, I don't know, man, life is so short and I really am trying to do my very best to, I guess, well, obviously, put good in the world one, but all right, I'm really trying to do my best at also trying to build more with with other human beings. You know right, yeah the human connection is everything.
Ryan:It absolutely is. I think it's, uh, more important than anything on earth. I really believe that because I'm just like man, it's such a blip. It's such a blip man like we're. Just if every one of you that are listening right now live to be 100, which would be a miracle. Yeah, it's such a short time that it drives me crazy that there's always infighting and drama. And yeah, uh, the economy wants to fucking rochambeau, you and uh, it just never ends for him. Just like, god damn like, does it ever stop? Do we ever stop? And just really, as humans really want to start appreciating each other again, you know a friend of mine did christmas minis.
Myke:She's a photographer as well, so I helped with that because I'm broke so I'm like I'll take any job, so I went to help with those. And the amount of families that are fucking miserable but then are like let's take all these these pictures where everybody thinks we're so happy. Yeah, you know, I watched that all day and it just drained the hell out of me Because I was just like what is the point in all this? I hate being the fucking Grinch right now, you know, but I'm like I can see her being like hey, somebody make the kid happy and you're just like dude.
Ryan:your parents are going to divorce dude?
Myke:Yeah, a hundred percent. There were a couple of families where I was like, I know, behind closed doors, that shit is fucking miserable. Oh God, yeah, you know. Look, I know, to a certain degree you got to be like if you just smile for the photographer, we'll buy you a toy. You know, I get that.
Myke:You know kids unfortunately they're less obedient than animals because she said the last session, for today there's going to be two dogs, and I was like, oh, that's great One, I love dogs. And I said two, it's going to be easy photo. And she's like what are you talking about? Talking about? I'm like, look, she doesn't have kids. So I'm like once you have kids you'll realize there's like a switch in them that they know I'm not gonna do what you asked me to do right now because you really want me to do it.
Myke:Oh yeah, you know, yeah, dogs, they're just like what do you got peanut butter over there? I'll do whatever the hell you want me to do. You know, kids are the opposite. You could be like I'll buy you the barbie dream house and the you know the motorized a jeep with the tiny little rubber duckies in the thing, and they'll be like I don't want that, I just want to disobey you.
Myke:I literally watched my nephews for like a couple of years while their mom was going through some shit, and one morning I wake up. Have I told you the buttermilk story? Yet I can't remember if you have or not. Okay, you tell me a lot of stories. Here we go and this will get into where we talk about fragrances, because you already know buttermilk doesn't smell good. No, but then rotten buttermilk smells even worse. So they're, you know, at this age, one is like four and the other one's two and a half, yeah, and typically how the morning would go, the four-year-old would wake up, come and wake me up and then I'd put on like Barney or something like that while I was cooking breakfast for him. But this specific day I woke up at like 930 and I'm like this is way too late. Yeah, you know, we're normally 6 30 type of kids. Oh yeah, I'm like 9 30 and then I wake up and I'm like it's awfully fucking quiet they definitely doing something.
Myke:Yes, so the night before we had buttermilk that had gone bad and, uh, apparently I didn't make as many biscuits as I thought I was going to make, so there's plenty of buttermilk left over. It had spoiled and the trash can was full, so I'd set out these two half gallons yeah that I was just going to find a way to dispose of. The next morning they're sitting by the trash can. So as I walk out of my room, these kids have taken this buttermilk that had gone bad. I mean, like the consistency was like sour cream at this point, god damn. And they had poured it all over the couch and they were rubbing it in. Oh my god. And I was like. Immediately I was like, hey, what the fuck? I mean I didn't say that in front of the kids, but in my mind I was like so I pulled the oldest one at this time His name is Josh.
Myke:Yeah, I pulled Josh aside and I go Josh, why on earth did you do that? And he goes just felt like being bad. I just, you know, just wanted to be bad. Kids are like that. They're like I'm going to be bad today. And that couch smelled fucking horrible for forever and I rented like the you know, stanley steamer and all that shit, like nothing was hitting it, dude, I, I deep cleaned that couch, yeah, and it was terrible and I was like you guys are gonna sit on this couch as long as possible to just enjoy the fruits of your labor. Like this is miserable for everyone, but they're like they just want to be bad god, that's kids.
Ryan:It so is man. And, funny enough, as you get older you realize even the adults in the room are children. Absolutely that I'm talking. It goes all the way up to the top. You know what?
Myke:I mean, yeah, as many of the husbands as I was like, why are you being defiant, the husbands? I'm like, hey, get your ass in gear. Yeah, you know, can we smile, dad? Can you act like you know you love these people? Dude it's so weird.
Ryan:I don't get it. It's the weirdest thing, man. Yeah, it is so weird. It's probably honestly because me and mike are both very like. He's gonna probably hear me say this in all his eyes, but I do think we're both very similar, like we're very anti-social media. You know, oh, 100, yeah, you more than me, but like I'm like I never post anything. That's probably why we struggle so much to even do stuff for the podcast it's true, it's just like not like natural for us.
Myke:You know, and I'm like dude, I'm like that. I'm the guy and you guys are gonna think I'm weird and I think you're like this too. I'm the guy that, like, I won't post pictures of my kids and if they're in a picture, or if any kid is in a picture, I'm putting like the emoji over their face and stuff yeah, I could care less about.
Ryan:I, just don't need validation from anybody like? I, I love, who I love, and they know that I don't have to put it out there, right yeah, I don't like need people from my high school.
Myke:I don't give a fuck about going like. Yeah, like harding stuff, like your opinion of my life matters yeah just look, hell.
Ryan:We may go to a freaking social credit one day, and there's all this shit matters, but for right now I could give a fuck dude I don't have the worst I'm gonna need like to go bankrupt or whatever.
Ryan:yeah, exactly, you know, start over exactly. But you know, to get back on point though, thanksgiving has happened, is about to happen, yeah, and we really do hope that you guys are seriously enjoying, take your time to enjoy it. It's a bad kind of comparison, but it's like voting right In a sense. Hear me out, I'm listening. It's like I never can wrap my head around people just telling their job like I'm fixing to go vote. You can fuck off, you know, and I kind of feel that way about certain things like holidays and stuff Like I. You can fuck off, you know, and I kind of feel that way about certain things like holidays and stuff like I. Just I've never, even when I've worked for a company, I just never give a fuck about trying to make their date like their company better for you know thanksgiving and that, yeah, you got to come in on thanksgiving because it's black friday, a day early, and I'm like I get fucked.
Ryan:I just don't show up, fire me, I don't care. I know it's a bad way to live, but all to say, because it's all short man, I mean if we live to be a life's too short it's too short and some we've seen it young people. Forbis is one of them people that we don't even know.
Ryan:It's like it can be pulled out from under you just like that so that's why I'm just like I really do wish that you guys are able to fully enjoy your loved ones, friends, family, and have a safe one, because it's just, it's been rough, man, I think I literally asked you right before we got on here. I thought this was a more depressing episode.
Myke:I immediately was like Jesus. Are we like the ghost of Thanksgiving past?
Ryan:Yeah, before we got on here I was just like man. Man, I've seriously just been shown time and time again, yeah, yearly, yeah, that it never gets easier, ever right ever.
Myke:Yeah, yeah, yeah. This year has just been a wild fucking year. I saw somebody post and said like january me would not believe the year that I've had. 100%. It has been insane 100%, man.
Ryan:I mean I just my timeline from pretty much December of last year to February just got flipped on its head, like it was like one minute. My dad was totally coherent, talking to fumbling his words and saying things backwards, to not even be able to walk, to passing away within like a couple of months, just like it. Just I was not prepared that's how my grandmother was.
Myke:It just happened so fast. The decline just came out of nowhere absolutely out of nowhere to.
Ryan:I'm just like what the fuck? Like I just, and so I'm like, uh, I guess, I guess it's a day-to-day thing, but I'm still like it feels like the wound just gets kind of reopened almost every day.
Myke:Holidays are hard man For sure. I have felt that for the last few years, like I said, my grandmother was like the meeting point for all of our family and because she was kind of my person, I had access to the rest of my family through her, yeah. But then once she passed, everybody just went and did their own things now and then I remember she knew she was about to go and she was just like begging some of my family to be like, hey, don't leave mike out on this, because he's gonna need somebody to step up and like include him and, you know, make sure he has like a tie to family still. And they were like totally, and then it's funny, but it's kind of just me and her still. Yeah, and you know that is what it is. What are you going to be wearing as a fragrance? Or, you know hindsight, what did you wear for Thanksgiving?
Ryan:I was actually going to put you on the spot and it's a fragrance that we've been meaning to send out, okay, but I'm thinking about asking to borrow that Crystal Saffron, okay, because it's so damn good. Do it, guys, I promise you. One of the patrons are getting this after the holiday break here.
Myke:Yeah.
Ryan:Somebody's getting that fucking fragrance. Somebody's getting the fucking.
Myke:Yeah, I think we're just going to have to do a massive haul for Christmas.
Ryan:Yeah, we did that, you know, last, earlier this year, like one day we just you know, the patrons know they just woke up and it was like a big, huge picture of everything that was going on.
Myke:So tell, like 12 things. Yeah, it'll be the 12 days of christmas. Yeah, yeah, totally and absolutely wear crystal saffron, because that is it's so good. I've we've sneakily said it, but it's got to be one of the best fragrances we've smelled for me.
Ryan:I will say not only that, but it's like, it's so nuclear. It's one of the rare fragrances that I honestly don't have to spray a lot, so therefore it would last forever with me. For sure I'll wear. I'm like yeah.
Myke:I'll wear that. I want to smell the X-ray. Dan and Chris, I've kind of pulled them aside and been like all right, because they both posted content about it and I was like give me the real deal, because I'm obsessed with the EDP. And they both were like it's more chill and smooth and and I was like fuck, I need it. It'd probably wrap your eye, dude. So good, my plan is to wear victorian vanilla interesting really.
Ryan:Oh yeah, sweet little tangy, who does that one again cam really why. I think it was like tobacco something. No, I'm thinking southern comfort. Yeah, okay, victorian vanilla. Okay, I'm with you now.
Myke:Okay and I think I'm gonna layer it with straight to heaven.
Ryan:Interesting, you've been liking this layer in a straight to heaven dude, I layer everything with straight to heaven I mean, when I think about it, straight to heaven. Although we fucking love it, it is also very um. I feel like it's like in this weird zone that I feel like it could ride with a couple of things.
Myke:Absolutely. You're just adding almost like just the boozy note to something else. You know, I started doing that because I've been layering Molecule 01 with everything for a while, which is great and which is great, but it's just kind of like dry cedar and then, with Straight to Heaven, it's like that plus boozy. It's like a woodsy whiskey barrel type smell. That really works with a lot of things. Yeah, I'm going to try that, and around Thanksgiving, another great one would be, and I still have a little travel decant of it is Wash On.
Myke:I think I've worn that in the past. It has a very apple pie sort of smell. That's a good one too. I've been leaning for sweeter things. I wore Triumph Abacus to the Christmas minis that I helped with. How'd that go, dude? So many compliments on that. That fragrance is sick and get this. One of the families walks in and the guy smells incredible. Okay, I can smell him across the room and by the end of it I walk up to him and I'm like, hey, I love colognes and you smell amazing. What are you wearing? Can you guess what he?
Ryan:was wearing. Is it something that I should know? Yeah, is it niche or designer? It's designer. I bet you it's myself or something. It was Sauvage Really.
Myke:And it did not smell like savage on him.
Ryan:Interesting, I could you know.
Myke:I could see that he said man, I'm wearing that savage dude and I was like savage and his wife was like it's called savage. I was like dude, you smell great. And I've smelled that one before. It did not smell great. And I've smelled that one before. It did not smell like Sauvage. On him, it smelled incredible, one of the best smelling guys and there were 20 families that came in and it was one of the best smelling dudes.
Ryan:And you bought it not too long ago. Oh, last year or so you bought a bottle, but then you kind of did, I gave it away.
Myke:Yeah, yeah, I got the EDT and I wear it for a while, but again that dry down of it was just too much for me. I don't know if you know we talk about the ambroxan or whatever, but it was just way too much. Yeah, so I like it and apparently I like the way it smells on other people. I get it, guys, I really do. It was badass dude that fragrance.
Ryan:It's like we do. We want to just hate it. To hate it.
Myke:I think so. Just because it's so popular, it's why you hate Taylor Swift. I can't stand her. Is Savar's the Taylor Swift of fragrances?
Ryan:Absolutely, absolutely. I don't know, and don't let me get this twisted I actually like old Taylor Swift stuff, but this whole Heiress thing, I don't know Really, oh man.
Myke:Her last few albums are kind of yeah, you think, so they're just yeah, these last few albums have been amazing.
Ryan:I don't, I don't get it, man, I just don't get it. Even my daughter's the same way like she grew up loving taylor swift, but she's just like I just don't like her. Her newer stuff I just don't like it, wow she's tried, she's tried.
Myke:But I love the folkiness of her new stuff it's great, yeah, well, there you go happy thanksgiving hopefully we ended on a high note.
Ryan:You know like taylor, swift would say yeah well, guys, seriously, we hope that you had a happy thanksgiving. I'm prepared to tape mine on and, uh, we love you all very much and truly, truly do actually mean that, yeah, you know, giving thanks in a way, yeah, for you guys, you have kept us going.
Myke:You know, especially you guys that have been supportive enough to show up in the patreon, that has been, yeah, like a revitalization of the podcast. When that started building, we started interacting and getting closer to people. We've got the community chat so we get to kind of talk back and forth. We slowly get to know your personalities. We're building these relationships.
Ryan:It does make the podcast even more special to us, for sure, and to everybody out there. We do try our best to like respond to everything that we humanly possibly can. Just, yeah, just, please know we have an email, an instagram, a tiktok, a youtube and a patreon five things where we get stuff constantly on and speak pipe as well yeah, that as well. So it's like it is. It's a lot to keep up with and sometimes some of you may fall into the cracks and some of you fall right into our laps where we talk to you all the time and it is what it is. We're not picking and choosing. It's just how it comes to us sometimes. Sometimes we have the time and sometimes we don't.
Ryan:We've already told you we're terrible with social media. We, we are so terrible. But to all you guys that do reach out to us, seriously, thank you, thank you for supporting the show, thank you for being listeners. Even that very basic thing has been huge to us. Yeah, what I never thought a million years we'd have a place to let out our woes and we didn't even talk really much about furniture today, but still yeah it's a great time to be able to come here you guys have been so supportive of us too.
Myke:Anytime you've heard us kind of going through some stuff, you've been quick to reach out and give encouragement and man could not be more thankful for you all, not just the Patreons 100%. Again, I know we've joked around and said if you're not a Patreon then fuck you, but the reality of the situation is you guys, long-time listeners, patreons or not, you've showed up for us time and time again, and just the fact that you're listening and sharing the podcast, you're adding reviews on Apple and Spotify and stuff like that that's huge. That really does support us Absolutely, and so we're thankful. All the way across the board. You guys have done a lot for us and this thing is important to us now We've even talked about, because there's things showed up in our own personal life and we're like is this going to put the podcast in jeopardy?
Myke:And you know, just this morning I was like I don't care if we have to record this thing in my fucking kitchen. We are going to do this podcast. We're going to make sure it happens for sure. We love you and until next time, spray it up. Y'all gobble, gobble.